• last year
A prequel to the critically acclaimed series featuring Jerri Blank, a 46 year old ex-junkie, ex-con who returns to high | dG1fdUNXU2dkS3dsZlU
Transcript
00:00 (silence)
00:05 Hello, I'm Jerry Blank.
00:07 You know, being the new kid in school is never easy.
00:09 Especially when you're a boozer.
00:11 You're a fat goblin!
00:12 Son.
00:12 She is!
00:13 I know, Dirk. I have eyes.
00:15 A loser.
00:16 What's your IQ?
00:17 Icy.
00:18 And a user.
00:19 Would you like to carry my books?
00:21 After 32 years of being a bit of a troublemaker,
00:26 I've decided that I'm going to start my life
00:28 exactly where I left off.
00:30 Back in school!
00:31 You have to be special, Jerry.
00:33 Special?
00:34 Honor roll.
00:35 Be prom queen!
00:36 Make the honor roll.
00:37 But this time, I'm gonna fit in.
00:40 Hey, homies. How about making some room?
00:43 Because people like me.
00:45 Why doesn't anybody like me?
00:51 Now, as many of you know, it's science fair time again.
00:54 Your project could be about finding the link
00:57 between a loser and a fatty.
01:00 You cross my child zone again,
01:01 you're gonna pull back a buddy's thumb.
01:03 It all came rushing back to me.
01:05 The years of drug-addled, alcohol-tainted debasement.
01:09 I'm gonna make you feel so good.
01:12 You're off the team.
01:14 But my daddy's in a coma!
01:16 Go see the school grief counselor.
01:17 She's supposed to care.
01:18 I wish my daddy was in a coma.
01:20 He's dead, Jerry.
01:22 Hey, ladies! Put some effort into it!
01:25 I hate you.
01:27 What'd you say?
01:28 What did you hear?
01:29 I'd rather not repeat it.
01:30 Well, then I guess we'll never know.
01:33 This night's not your own.
01:35 I need more out of this relationship
01:38 than I'm willing to put in.
01:40 You pushed me away.
01:41 I wasn't pushing you away.
01:43 I was pulling me toward myself.
01:45 This summer, you're invited to purchase tickets
01:48 to the film version of the hit comedy central series.
01:50 Why can't we just be friends?
01:52 Fat hips sink ships.
01:54 Amy Sedaris.
01:55 These are my new best friends.
01:57 Who's this face and what's her name?
01:58 Stephen Colbert!
02:00 I love it. I love you.
02:02 And Paul D'Avello.
02:03 I may be an authority figure, but I have the mind of a child.
02:06 So, Monica, who's fat and ugly now?
02:09 Still you, Jerry.
02:10 Strangers with candy.
02:12 This is nice. Family.
02:14 We don't speak with food in our mouths at this table.
02:16 I don't have any food in my mouth.
02:18 When watching people dancing,
02:21 it's hard to watch the credits.
02:24 Let 'em roll.

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