• last year
High school guidance counselor Jeff and his platonic friend and co-worker Anne are responsible, well intentioned, kind? | dG1fSGJnYmQtZjlzZlE
Transcript
00:00 -What is it about me that makes you not want to stay here?
00:03 -Honestly? -Yeah.
00:04 -Like, everything.
00:05 Starting with your face first.
00:07 Just, like, you're smelling something
00:09 that doesn't smell good.
00:10 You don't look like you have bones under your body at all.
00:13 You're just sort of like an old baby.
00:15 -That's a complete answer.
00:18 -When was the last time you engaged in intercourse?
00:21 -Do you mean, like, um, full-on kind of?
00:25 -So you're abstinent. -No.
00:26 It's more just like, "Oh, gosh, I'm gonna get married."
00:29 -Is it March already?
00:31 So, I'm tired of being such a dork.
00:35 -It's good. -Yeah.
00:36 -Mm-hmm. I like beer.
00:37 -I want to be a guy that no matter where they are,
00:39 there's a possibility that he could have sex in a bathroom.
00:42 -I want to be sex in the bathroom, people.
00:44 That's so cool.
00:45 How do we do this? How is this done?
00:47 -It would be nice to meet some girls, though.
00:50 -I go on dates all the time. -No, you don't.
00:51 Come on, Lenny.
00:52 When was the last time you were out on a date?
00:54 -What day is today? -Sunday.
00:56 -1986.
00:57 -How do you do it? You're so put together.
00:59 Are you familiar with Kegeling?
01:00 -The squeezing.
01:01 -It's like a glass of wine for the prives.
01:03 What are you doing with your face?
01:05 You're not blinking whatsoever now.
01:07 -Girls don't like guys from upper-middle-class Pennsylvania.
01:10 -What do they like?
01:11 -They want, like, bad boys have been in fights.
01:14 -Whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:15 -Oh!
01:16 [ Gasps ]
01:17 -Oh, my God. -What's up?
01:19 ♪♪♪♪
01:27 -I guess I kind of have a slutty side.
01:30 -White people are weird. -Damn, they're weird.
01:32 -What's wrong with the glass? -That's a nasty whiter.
01:34 -Jump!
01:35 -Call me back, weirdo.
01:38 -You look really nice.
01:39 I'm not used to seeing you with this much makeup.
01:41 -Is the wine going to aggravate your IBS?
01:45 ♪♪♪♪
01:46 -I don't smoke. I vape.
01:47 -Come on, take a pull. -No, I'm good.
01:49 -Let's see what the future's all about.
01:50 -No, I'm good. Thanks.
01:52 [ Coughs ]
01:54 ♪♪♪♪
01:55 -You all right in there?
01:56 -No, I'm fine. I'm just in here pooping.
01:59 -Okay.
02:00 -I'm really glad that we're doing this together.
02:02 -Yeah.
02:03 -I'm gonna get up in the bar.
02:04 -I'm putting this on the Internet.
02:07 ♪♪♪♪
02:08 -Oh, man. That lady took our spot,
02:10 and this is part of our problem. We're too passive.
02:12 -Hey, you dumb [bleep]!
02:14 -Lower your window and start yelling in here.
02:16 -You suck a badd--
02:18 ♪♪♪♪
02:21 ♪♪♪♪
02:24 ♪♪♪♪
02:27 ♪♪♪♪
02:30 ♪♪♪♪
02:33 (upbeat music)