Alessandra De Rossi, may payo sa mga namumroblema sa pag-ibig? | Updated with Nelson Canlas
May nakakatawang childhood memories si Alessandra De Rossi na ikinuwento niya kay Nelson Canlas. Paano kaya niya nahuling hindi pala totoo si Santa Claus? At ngayong "auntie" na siya kay Fiore, may mahihiling pa ba siya para naman sa sarili? Panoorin din ang mga payo niya sa netizens na namumroblema sa pag-ibig.
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00:00 [music]
00:05 Alex, if you add my ABS days,
00:09 we might be friends for 23 years.
00:14 Yes.
00:15 That's crazy, right?
00:17 But your face doesn't change.
00:20 Hey, it changes. I can really see it.
00:22 Even my hands.
00:24 I swear, my hands.
00:27 My legs are not yet.
00:29 It's done but I'm happy.
00:32 Aging great.
00:34 The other TED Talks I watched said,
00:39 you have to make peace with aging.
00:42 Because if you don't make peace with aging,
00:46 you need to fill your closet with gloves and turtleneck.
00:50 True. Because you're with it until you get old.
00:54 Yes.
00:55 Then you go back and you're like, "I'm old."
00:59 Okay. Time for Mother Rose.
01:02 Which leads us to the first question.
01:05 Wow.
01:06 It's actually called Fireflies.
01:08 Yes, Fireflies.
01:11 Of course, we watch the Firefly teaser 24/7.
01:18 Do we really feel excited or cry?
01:24 Tell us a very, very light story without spoiling it.
01:29 Firefly is a story about a child, my son, Ewen.
01:35 It's like,
01:37 what did his mother tell him when he was a child?
01:40 Did she tell him about a magical island?
01:44 Did she really look for it?
01:46 How true is what your mother said?
01:50 Because it's a different level.
01:54 My mother can say that I believe in it.
01:56 Yes, that's how we are with our mothers, right?
01:59 Especially when we're still young.
02:01 Alex, you know,
02:04 this Firefly is just being conceptualized.
02:07 But you're already in people's minds.
02:11 Yes.
02:12 How do you feel?
02:13 It's different.
02:15 How do you feel about that?
02:17 It's not true, but thank you.
02:20 It's true.
02:22 Actually, what Director Zig Dulai said,
02:25 when they were still thinking about this project,
02:28 what they were really thinking about
02:30 to do the mother role of Ewen
02:33 was you, Alessandra de Rossi.
02:37 The mother, now.
02:39 Yes.
02:40 It's touching.
02:42 And the role is really beautiful.
02:45 It's like she's going to leave you
02:48 with a heavy...
02:50 Not heavy, but what do you call it?
02:53 There are scenes that you can't forget.
02:56 It's one of those roles.
02:58 Actually, what's beautiful about the movies I watch,
03:01 even if the story is heavy,
03:04 what's important is that
03:06 the question is left heavy.
03:08 Yes.
03:09 It's a question, actually.
03:11 Yes.
03:12 How did this resonate with you
03:15 when you were told that you were going to do it?
03:18 Nothing.
03:19 He just sent me the script.
03:21 I said, "This is a project of Director Zig Dulai."
03:25 So I was like, "I get it."
03:27 So I read it.
03:29 I imagined the style that Zig Dulai would do.
03:33 Okay.
03:34 Something like that.
03:36 You've worked with him before?
03:38 Yes, in Bambanti.
03:40 We did two episodes of Wagas.
03:43 We're actually friends.
03:45 So there wasn't much negotiation
03:47 when Zig Dulai said, "I'm there."
03:51 What was your initial reaction
03:53 when you read the script?
03:55 It's beautiful.
03:56 It's so beautiful to me.
03:58 It's like...
04:00 It's something that I haven't done in a long time.
04:05 Maybe because we all do comedy, rom-com.
04:09 There are no children's movies anymore.
04:13 So I wanted to make a movie like that.
04:16 So I said, "It's the perfect time."
04:19 Can you expound on that?
04:21 What were the parts that you liked?
04:24 The innocence of the child.
04:26 Also, when the child is telling a story,
04:30 when the child's imagination is working.
04:33 It's so colorful.
04:35 We don't have that kind of innocence anymore.
04:39 Was it spoiled as you grew older?
04:42 Did that kind of imagination disappear?
04:46 It was so much.
04:48 When you're young, the sky's the limit.
04:51 You can fly in your imagination.
04:55 I was a siren for the longest time.
04:57 My mom accepted that I wanted to be a siren.
05:01 But when I was 10 years old,
05:05 my mom told me that I wasn't real.
05:08 I was like, "So this is just imagination?"
05:11 "You're not real."
05:13 Let's not go there.
05:16 Christmas is coming.
05:18 The concept of Santa Claus.
05:20 I still see kids who really believe in Santa Claus.
05:26 And I don't want to spoil it.
05:28 It's nice to believe. It's so fun.
05:31 We all went through that.
05:35 I was caught right away.
05:37 It was my first year as a kid.
05:41 Asunta and I wrote, "Dear Santa, I want this, I want that."
05:44 We woke up in the morning and the kids were gone.
05:48 They were gone.
05:50 Santa made us do this and that.
05:52 Two days later, my mom came home.
05:55 She brought two gifts.
05:58 We assumed that
06:00 Santa still had a Christmas gift for us.
06:05 The two of them?
06:06 Yes.
06:07 Asunta and I talked about what gift we should get for mom.
06:10 We decided to open the gift.
06:13 I was learning how to remove the scotch tape.
06:16 I was learning how to remove the scotch tape.
06:22 I saw the box.
06:25 I thought, "Oh, that's what I asked Santa for."
06:28 Asunta asked Santa for the same thing.
06:31 We were thinking,
06:33 "What if mom and Santa have the same gift?"
06:36 Wow.
06:37 Yes.
06:39 We should get the gift we want.
06:43 I thought, "Maybe Santa Claus is our parents."
06:47 I think it's very special to my parents.
06:50 I thought Santa Claus was the father of all children.
06:53 You connected with them right away.
06:55 Some kids, luckily, don't connect with their parents right away.
07:00 Yes.
07:01 It's cute.
07:02 Maybe if you have Santa Claus for three years,
07:04 you won't get mad if you tell your kids,
07:06 "We're your kids."
07:08 Or something like that.
07:10 This is my take on that.
07:12 The truth is,
07:14 it's not bad for the child.
07:19 We can delay that.
07:21 It's just for the sake of imagination.
07:24 It's for the sake of the child's happiness.
07:27 They'll experience it in a short time.
07:31 I'm sure by the age of 7 or 8,
07:33 they won't want to do it anymore.
07:36 Yes.
07:37 Some kids are not interested in that.
07:41 I went to Sweden last Christmas.
07:45 There are elves who come to the house in the morning.
07:50 The milk turns blue if you've been bad.
07:54 But they put food coloring on the milk
07:56 to be kind.
07:57 They help.
07:58 Because someone helped.
08:00 I thought it was cute.
08:02 It's okay for me.
08:03 It's like a tooth fairy.
08:05 When your teeth are broken, you cry.
08:07 Because if it's removed, you won't look good.
08:10 If it's removed, you'll get a 500 pesos tooth fairy.
08:16 It's starting to look bad.
08:18 Miss 500.
08:19 Where's the tooth fairy?
08:22 You're the one who'll remove it.
08:25 It's inside an envelope.
08:28 When you wake up, it has money.
08:31 Why do you give me happiness and surprises?
08:36 I'm sure at some point, the kid will know.
08:40 He'll have a concept of the truth.
08:43 Yes.
08:44 And he's not a kid.
08:47 He's an adult.
08:49 It's all over the world.
08:51 True.
08:52 How are you as an auntie?
08:55 Happy.
08:57 As in?
08:58 You're a adult.
08:59 It's like you have your own child.
09:02 But you only see her once a week.
09:04 The one that's not required.
09:07 Yes, when you go home, it's good.
09:10 You're crazy about the kid.
09:13 But when you're tired, you can give her a hug.
09:16 Because if it's your child, you can't hug her.
09:19 Yes, it's meaningless.
09:21 I know that.
09:22 But now, it's cute when you add a new name.
09:30 When you see a toy, it makes you want to play with it.
09:37 You become like that.
09:39 You don't care about those things.
09:41 Yes, and it's a blessing for me.
09:46 Because no matter how busy you are in life,
09:50 you only talk to a 1-year-old.
09:53 You only talk to 2-year-olds.
09:56 Yes, that laughter, that innocence,
10:00 that nothing bad can happen to you,
10:02 that they all have that.
10:04 It's so nice to have that.
10:06 It's impossible to smile that big
10:09 without giving that big a smile.
10:12 We don't have that at our age.
10:14 Even if we're cute, it's just like that.
10:17 But when you're a kid, you need to be able to sing.
10:21 That's the joy.
10:24 What I'm saying is that kids know very little,
10:30 but they can do a lot.
10:32 Yes.
10:34 Actually, kids are better because they know very little,
10:41 but at the same time, they're the most honest.
10:44 They're really a filter.
10:47 When we're getting older, we can't say that anymore.
10:52 Yes, there's a lot of...
10:54 It's so nice to talk to kids because they're straight to the point.
10:58 How much of being a child did you retain in you?
11:03 Me? Maybe.
11:06 I don't have a lot of memories as a child.
11:09 What do you want?
11:11 What did I want when I was a kid?
11:14 I wanted to swim.
11:16 No, being a child.
11:18 I didn't want to be affected. I wanted to be childlike.
11:22 Now, I don't know.
11:25 I don't want to say that I'm a girl anymore.
11:28 I'm not like that anymore.
11:30 But being childlike, I don't know.
11:34 I'm so bored now.
11:36 So you graduated from being a child,
11:40 but you're not an adult yet?
11:42 If I'm still going to be an adult, I might go back.
11:45 Because there's a phase before you get old,
11:48 where you're like a cheap candy.
11:51 I might go back to being a teenager
11:54 because I'll only be able to do this for a few years.
11:57 I might be there and I'll just enjoy the...
12:01 Okay, you're late 30s. Okay.
12:04 Maybe your childhood transformed into that.
12:09 -Maybe. -I'll just enjoy this.
12:12 Because kids are like that.
12:15 They don't have a problem. I'll just enjoy this.
12:18 I don't have a problem.
12:20 I'm peaceful.
12:22 When I was a kid, I had more problems.
12:25 I was a bit like that.
12:27 Like a drama. You know that, right?
12:30 You're getting old.
12:32 It's true what he said.
12:34 When you're old, you don't have a time for that.
12:37 It's not an issue anymore.
12:39 It's a big deal because it happened to you a lot of times.
12:42 I'm at that stage now.
12:45 Nothing can bother me, I think.
12:48 Bother?
12:51 I think my segue is so bad.
12:53 If we're going from "Nothing can bother me,"
12:55 "How would you like your love life?"
12:57 Let's not talk about that.
13:00 Let's just talk about my career.
13:02 You don't have a love life?
13:05 Let's bother.
13:07 I'm trying to normalize it.
13:09 Because every time I talk to a friend,
13:12 I'm like...
13:14 Before, we were shy to ask.
13:17 We were just shy.
13:19 Now, I feel like if you don't have a love life,
13:21 what's the point?
13:23 I used to be shy to say that.
13:26 Now, I don't care.
13:28 Whatever.
13:30 What I mean is, why should you rush into a love life?
13:34 You're happy with that.
13:36 Right?
13:37 Yeah.
13:38 Or maybe you just don't want to talk about it.
13:40 So, there's no trouble.
13:42 Hey!
13:43 You're not changing.
13:45 Of course.
13:46 You know,
13:47 privacy is power.
13:50 That's also true.
13:52 Of course, it's true.
13:54 What we were talking about earlier,
13:56 in the last 20 years,
13:59 I've been...
14:00 Actually, especially in my early part of my career as a reporter,
14:04 I interviewed you almost every day.
14:07 When you were still in GMA.
14:08 Right?
14:09 And, before,
14:13 as long as you don't force yourself,
14:16 there's no privacy.
14:18 Me? Yes.
14:21 Before, I was really direct to the point.
14:25 If you want to know the truth, I'll tell you.
14:28 But, of course, when social media came out,
14:31 you realized that everyone was saying that I was there forever.
14:36 Sometimes, my opinion was just that.
14:39 "Oh, I was young back then."
14:41 Or, "I was cool back then because I thought that way."
14:44 My interview was like my last week.
14:46 But, now, my opinion is different.
14:50 So, for me, I don't want to be interviewed anymore because I'm too open.
14:54 You know, I'm saying everything.
14:56 And, 20 years from now, it's still an issue.
14:58 I won't think like that anymore, guys.
15:00 It's being archived, right?
15:02 Yes, it's gone.
15:03 It's gone.
15:04 It's no longer a thing.
15:05 So, I hope that we'll just talk about it.
15:07 It's okay that even though I'm 90 years old,
15:10 I'm still watching and laughing.
15:12 It's not like, "Why did you change that name?"
15:15 "I'm getting hot."
15:17 Like that.
15:18 And, they'll say,
15:20 "You're being noticed because there's a movie."
15:23 Hello, we're just interviewing when there's a movie.
15:25 We're not like, "Hey, we're not doing anything."
15:28 Yes.
15:29 Back then, there wasn't much social media.
15:32 In fact, I think there wasn't.
15:34 And, I used to have a belief that you owe the public your story, your side.
15:39 Like that.
15:40 Until you realized that,
15:42 actually, the more you don't talk,
15:44 the more you'll die down,
15:46 the more no one will remember you.
15:48 It became ugly after that.
15:50 So, sometimes, I'll just talk.
15:54 Before, I used to love Twitter.
15:57 But, when it came to laughing,
16:00 I was like, "Guys, my mom didn't raise a demon."
16:04 "That's impossible to be a blind idol."
16:07 "That's crazy."
16:09 I'll answer that.
16:10 But, if I can't tell a story,
16:12 I'll be like, "You're done."
16:15 Do you still answer bashers now?
16:20 Before,
16:22 now, first of all, there are no bashers.
16:26 And, secondly,
16:28 I don't have anyone.
16:30 Before, it was like a fun.
16:33 It's like fun, right?
16:34 You'll answer it so witty to the point that
16:37 you can't answer anything.
16:39 And, what's the word?
16:40 Round 1 winner, right?
16:43 You can't reach Round 2.
16:45 It's like that.
16:46 For fun.
16:47 But, after, I realized,
16:48 how can this be fun?
16:49 Maybe, others don't know that I'm sarcastic.
16:53 Others don't know that this is just for fun.
16:56 But, they think,
16:57 "Wow, she's so crazy."
16:58 "She's never stopping."
17:00 So, they don't know that I'm a blind idol.
17:02 Alex, okay.
17:03 A lot of my listeners,
17:05 a lot of our listeners now,
17:07 here on the podcast,
17:08 are women.
17:09 And, I'm sure,
17:11 there are people who can relate to you here.
17:14 Do you have anything to say to those people?
17:18 I mean, there are negative perceptions
17:21 towards unmarried women.
17:23 Those who are not
17:26 in a love life.
17:28 Yeah.
17:29 Like that.
17:30 Well, if they think negatively about unmarried,
17:33 it's like,
17:35 "Are you afraid to be alone?"
17:37 I know, right?
17:39 Sorry.
17:40 I mean, if that's what you think.
17:42 But, we unmarried,
17:43 we're happy.
17:45 Yes.
17:46 Yes.
17:47 I won't say that my life is happier
17:49 than the life of a wife or a child.
17:52 There's no such thing.
17:53 I'm sure, it's a fulfilling job
17:56 to be a mother, right?
17:57 But, I don't want to force it to happen.
18:00 Or,
18:01 or feel that I'm not
18:04 like a gift.
18:07 Right?
18:08 That's how it is.
18:09 I think, you know,
18:10 I really think it's a gift.
18:11 I'm a gift to man.
18:12 No, I really think it's a gift.
18:14 The, the,
18:16 the acceptance that you want to be a mother.
18:21 Ah!
18:22 It doesn't, I mean, of course,
18:25 some people,
18:26 they just give it to them
18:28 and they don't want it.
18:30 You know, my heart goes out to them.
18:33 But, the, the,
18:35 the acceptance that you want to be a mother,
18:38 it's a gift.
18:39 Yes.
18:40 It's a blessing from,
18:41 from the Lord.
18:43 It's like that.
18:44 It's written,
18:45 "Children are a gift from God."
18:46 Right?
18:47 But, it's sad if,
18:49 if you feel that you were not given,
18:52 or you're not like that,
18:53 then your life is sad.
18:55 It's like, "I'm just a gift."
18:57 No, it's like,
18:58 it's based on that.
18:59 Yes, yes.
19:00 I don't believe in that.
19:02 True love makes the world go round.
19:04 But, I don't believe that
19:06 love is the answer to everything.
19:07 Right?
19:08 No, love, because,
19:09 it's possible that
19:10 love makes the world go round
19:12 and love is the answer to everything.
19:13 But, what if your love is yourself?
19:15 Yes.
19:16 And, it's not just,
19:18 life is about having a relationship,
19:20 getting married,
19:21 having a child.
19:22 It's like, there are many different kinds of life.
19:24 Like, working, traveling,
19:26 having a baby in the community,
19:28 you spent your life in a community,
19:32 she changed the world
19:34 in her own little way,
19:35 special way.
19:36 It's like,
19:37 you can say,
19:38 her life is very unfulfilling.
19:40 Right?
19:41 That's what I'm saying.
19:42 You know,
19:43 sometimes,
19:44 I feel offended for people
19:46 who do that.
19:48 Like, you're not fulfilled
19:51 because you didn't have a child.
19:53 You know, my mom,
19:54 sorry, Ma,
19:55 I know you would probably be listening to this.
19:59 But, because,
20:00 we had a conversation years back
20:04 and she told me,
20:05 "Have a child so you'll be fulfilled."
20:08 I said, "Wait,
20:10 why do I need to have a child?"
20:13 "Is it because..."
20:15 She said,
20:17 "So you'll have someone to take care of you when you grow up."
20:19 So,
20:20 "Are you imposing on me to take care of you?"
20:23 "Because when you grow up..."
20:25 She said, "Of course not."
20:26 "So why is that?"
20:28 I said to her,
20:29 "Why is that?"
20:30 "Why are you forcing me to have a child
20:32 so you'll take care of me?"
20:33 "You're not going to take care of me."
20:36 So, it's kind of weird, right?
20:39 Yeah.
20:40 But,
20:41 I get what she's saying.
20:43 When you grow up,
20:45 of course,
20:46 you might outlive your peers.
20:48 You might have young people
20:52 that you can take care of
20:53 just in case something happens to you.
20:55 I also think about that.
20:57 But, that's the reason.
20:59 No, that's not it.
21:00 "Son, I'm giving you a child
21:02 just in case."
21:04 Or, "Son,
21:05 you're just going to stay there."
21:07 "Son, don't get married
21:09 until I'm not stubborn."
21:11 Yeah, like that.
21:12 "I made you for me."
21:14 "For me."
21:15 Remember that.
21:16 Right?
21:17 Okay.
21:18 What have you learned
21:19 in your 30s?
21:21 What's the most important thing
21:23 you learned?
21:24 The same thing.
21:26 You need to be a good person.
21:28 Right?
21:30 Or else,
21:32 everything you do
21:34 has no value.
21:35 You know,
21:36 you're good at this
21:37 and that.
21:38 But, it's not good.
21:40 And, remain
21:42 the person that you are.
21:44 Even if you're angry,
21:47 even if you're frustrated.
21:50 Of course, it's okay to be angry.
21:52 That's normal.
21:53 But,
21:54 you need to forgive.
21:56 There's something in our age
21:58 that's like,
21:59 "It's been a long time."
22:00 "It's over."
22:01 But, before,
22:02 you'd get a little bit of
22:03 a smile on your face.
22:05 "She's so mean."
22:06 "She did so much to me."
22:07 You'd forget all of that.
22:09 It's forgiveness.
22:11 And, of course,
22:12 in terms of physical,
22:14 oh my goodness,
22:15 it's really different from
22:17 the 20s.
22:18 The fatigue.
22:19 True.
22:20 The level of fatigue.
22:21 Yes.
22:22 And,
22:23 for example,
22:24 I look at my sphere
22:25 and I'm like,
22:26 "Am I really chasing her?"
22:28 "Oh, it's her mom."
22:30 No.
22:32 I feel it in the mornings.
22:35 Before,
22:36 when there's an alarm,
22:39 we'd get up right away.
22:40 Now, there are mornings
22:41 where I'm like,
22:42 "Oh, this hurts."
22:43 Yes.
22:44 "Oh, it hurts."
22:45 Before,
22:46 it was okay to stay up late.
22:48 I'd just sleep.
22:49 Before, it was 5.30.
22:50 It was max at 6.00.
22:52 When the sun came up,
22:53 it would come out.
22:54 It was too much.
22:55 5.00, 5.30,
22:56 like that.
22:57 Now, it's 9 o'clock.
22:58 Bye.
22:59 I can't get it back.
23:00 Before, I could get it back.
23:01 Yes,
23:02 you could get it back
23:03 if you were going to sleep.
23:04 It's like that.
23:05 Yes,
23:06 now, it's not anymore.
23:07 Because it's like,
23:08 when the temperature
23:10 is just right,
23:12 it's like that.
23:13 You can feel your room
23:15 like that.
23:16 "Oh, it's 10 o'clock."
23:18 Or,
23:19 "It's 9 o'clock."
23:20 Yes.
23:21 Yes.
23:22 It's true.
23:23 It's true.
23:24 So,
23:25 you can see
23:26 from 30 to 35,
23:28 it's like that.
23:29 From 30 to 35,
23:31 it's so far from
23:32 36 to 39.
23:34 It's like,
23:35 it's so far.
23:36 Sometimes,
23:37 my decisions are already 42.
23:38 Like,
23:39 even the way I wear my clothes.
23:41 It's like,
23:42 "Does this still fit?"
23:43 It's like a trying card
23:44 when I wear it.
23:45 "Hey, you don't look like a kid."
23:47 But still,
23:48 wow!
23:49 So,
23:50 it's a character development.
23:52 No,
23:53 it's also true
23:54 that you don't really change
23:55 your appearance
23:56 ever since.
23:57 But,
23:58 that's it.
23:59 Well,
24:00 I don't know
24:01 if you feel the same.
24:02 But,
24:03 for me,
24:04 I'm more
24:05 leaning towards
24:07 comfort
24:08 when it comes to clothes.
24:09 Yes.
24:10 Compared to
24:11 fashion,
24:12 compared to
24:13 style.
24:14 No.
24:15 I'm comfortable
24:16 with style.
24:17 It's up to God.
24:18 Of course,
24:19 style is just for work
24:20 when you have
24:21 guestings and stuff.
24:22 But,
24:23 in real life,
24:24 I'm not.
24:25 I'm comfortable.
24:26 My shoes,
24:27 my sneakers,
24:28 I've worn four of them
24:29 in like
24:30 five years.
24:31 And,
24:32 I'll just buy new ones
24:33 because they're old
24:34 and yellow.
24:35 But,
24:36 that's all I want.
24:37 If they didn't
24:38 discontinue
24:39 making
24:40 those shoes,
24:41 I'd still wear those.
24:42 I'd still wear those shoes.
24:43 I'd say,
24:44 "Aww,
24:45 they're not producing
24:46 new ones."
24:47 I have to change
24:48 sneakers now.
24:49 But,
24:50 of course,
24:51 having said all this,
24:52 you said earlier
24:53 that you don't like
24:54 stress and
24:55 we're kinder to ourselves.
24:56 Have you given up
24:57 on love?
24:58 No.
25:03 It's been a while.
25:05 No, really.
25:06 No.
25:07 No.
25:08 It's not like that.
25:09 But,
25:10 I'm not like,
25:11 it's,
25:12 love is not
25:13 the only thing
25:14 that matters.
25:15 Maybe,
25:16 love in general.
25:17 Love for everyone,
25:18 for work,
25:19 for friends,
25:20 and stuff.
25:21 Lovers are
25:23 countrymen.
25:24 But,
25:25 the relationship,
25:26 I think it's different
25:28 now.
25:29 It's not like
25:30 before.
25:31 If I crush on you,
25:32 it's okay.
25:33 You can crush on me.
25:34 I'll give you everything.
25:35 It's so,
25:36 you know,
25:37 everything.
25:38 My whole life
25:39 revolves around you.
25:40 It's like,
25:41 now that I've seen
25:42 your relationship,
25:43 it's not the same.
25:44 No, really.
25:45 The movies are wrong.
25:47 No, really.
25:48 The movies are really
25:49 wrong.
25:50 Yes.
25:51 Yes.
25:52 Because,
25:53 it's like,
25:54 the relationship is like,
25:55 it's more of a,
25:56 if you choose your person,
25:59 here,
26:00 if you see him as a partner,
26:01 if you see him as a best friend,
26:03 if you see him,
26:04 accept him,
26:05 whatever it is,
26:06 but,
26:07 whatever your flaws are,
26:08 he knows,
26:09 but he's not celebrating it.
26:10 So, if you can change it,
26:11 it's okay.
26:12 If there's a compromise
26:13 somewhere,
26:14 I don't have a problem
26:15 with that kind of love.
26:16 The more security
26:18 and comfort,
26:19 more than,
26:20 maybe,
26:21 the attraction before,
26:22 the passion.
26:23 I'll do everything
26:24 for him.
26:25 I'll always be English.
26:26 And,
26:27 maybe,
26:28 it's like,
26:29 we should know,
26:30 by now,
26:31 that love,
26:32 will make our lives colorful,
26:35 but it should never
26:36 complete us.
26:37 Yes.
26:39 We should be complete
26:40 on our own.
26:41 And,
26:42 it's like,
26:43 you make my life better.
26:47 No.
26:48 More colorful.
26:49 More beautiful.
26:50 Right?
26:51 Yes.
26:52 But,
26:53 when you're angry,
26:54 or you're not,
26:55 you should be alive.
26:57 Not like,
26:58 "Oh, I'm going to die."
26:59 I don't know where he is.
27:00 I was like that before.
27:01 Right?
27:02 Yes.
27:03 Right?
27:04 He didn't reply for two days.
27:06 "Oh, I'm going to die."
27:07 Like that.
27:08 I was so excited.
27:09 Well,
27:12 that's why,
27:13 you know,
27:14 the line in the movie
27:15 is annoying, right?
27:16 Like,
27:17 "You complete me."
27:18 Huh?
27:19 Yes.
27:20 That's right.
27:21 Other people believe in that.
27:23 You believe in them.
27:24 For me,
27:25 I think I'm done with that.
27:27 Like,
27:28 a lot of people completed me,
27:30 but not all of them.
27:31 Let's not joke.
27:32 No,
27:33 a lot of people attempted,
27:34 no,
27:35 a lot of people attempted
27:36 to invite you to their life
27:37 to complete you,
27:38 but they didn't really complete you.
27:39 Yes.
27:40 It's okay for each other.
27:42 Like that.
27:43 So,
27:44 he's not like that.
27:46 He didn't complete me.
27:48 You make me cry.
27:49 Immediately.
27:50 That's bad.
27:51 Wait a minute.
27:53 You give me a headache and stress.
27:55 Yes.
27:56 No,
27:57 I'm much kinder to myself now,
27:59 so I will not,
28:00 you know.
28:01 Yes, I'm there.
28:02 If I can compromise my happiness,
28:05 I'll just be there.
28:06 You know,
28:07 I don't have any regrets in my life,
28:10 but I wish
28:12 I have known this sooner.
28:15 Yeah.
28:17 But anyone who says that to you,
28:19 you know,
28:20 "Don't cry,
28:21 I have a lot of boyfriends."
28:22 You know,
28:23 so that you can understand me.
28:25 "It's nothing,
28:26 it's nothing."
28:27 "Oh, it's nothing."
28:28 You won't believe it.
28:30 Wait a minute.
28:31 This,
28:32 we're looking for questions
28:34 on social media.
28:35 We'll ask for your help
28:37 because
28:38 we're here
28:39 in this.
28:41 Yes.
28:42 We can help you.
28:43 This,
28:45 from crazyx_03,
28:49 "I've had a lot of boyfriends,
28:51 but I'm easily tired of them.
28:54 I was in love at first,
28:56 but suddenly,
28:57 it's gone
28:58 because of one bad trait
29:00 that I see
29:01 in those
29:02 who are already my ex.
29:04 Is that wrong or not?"
29:06 Wrong.
29:09 Wrong.
29:10 It depends on the bad trait.
29:12 Maybe it's bad for him,
29:14 and then
29:15 everyone makes mistakes,
29:16 right?
29:17 No.
29:18 That's how relationships are.
29:20 When you talk about boundaries,
29:22 you can't joke about it,
29:24 you can't say it to me.
29:26 Maybe he's looking for
29:29 the rush,
29:31 the infatuation.
29:32 Oh, yes.
29:34 When you're comfortable with someone,
29:36 it's gone.
29:38 It's only two weeks.
29:39 Let's say,
29:40 maximum three months.
29:42 Yes.
29:43 The honeymoon period, right?
29:45 Yes,
29:46 you're like,
29:47 "Thank God for him."
29:49 After four months,
29:52 "What did I eat?
29:53 Is this how it looks?"
29:55 No, because
29:57 even if you say your boyfriend is handsome,
30:01 after two or three months,
30:02 your eyes get used to
30:04 his handsome face.
30:06 And if you see his ugly face,
30:08 no matter how handsome he is,
30:10 you'll think he's not handsome.
30:12 Yes.
30:13 Madam wants love,
30:17 not love.
30:18 The love we talked about earlier,
30:21 security, comfort.
30:24 For other people,
30:25 love is all fireworks.
30:28 For them,
30:29 it's boring.
30:30 It's not.
30:31 They're not at peace
30:34 with the comfort.
30:37 It's like that.
30:38 This one,
30:39 from Jen Guadalupe.
30:41 "It always felt like
30:44 I was making decisions
30:46 to be with someone
30:48 for the wrong reason,
30:50 just to get married."
30:52 Aww.
30:54 You have a problem, Jen.
30:56 She's really looking for a partner.
30:59 In short,
31:00 no matter who's there,
31:02 even if you feel like it's not right,
31:05 since you have a desire,
31:08 you'll do everything to fulfill it.
31:12 So you can get it.
31:14 Love yourself.
31:16 That's beautiful.
31:17 That's true.
31:18 Know yourself.
31:20 Know what you want for all.
31:22 Maybe the wedding is the last thing
31:24 you'll want
31:25 once you know
31:26 what you really want in life.
31:27 What makes you happy.
31:29 Why do these love stories come?
31:31 I watched a movie before
31:33 that said true love
31:35 is taking someone
31:36 and making it work.
31:37 I thought, "That's wrong."
31:39 Right?
31:40 No.
31:41 People are different.
31:44 Wait for the right one to come to you.
31:46 Don't get married to just anyone.
31:49 And then,
31:50 "Ah, I'll make it work?"
31:53 Yeah.
31:54 I was already 35 then.
31:56 I got married right away.
31:58 But,
31:59 I was a bad person.
32:01 I was a bad person.
32:02 Or worse, I was hurting.
32:04 Right?
32:05 I didn't believe in that.
32:07 I believed that marriage
32:09 was a long time of apology.
32:13 I could see it.
32:15 I think,
32:17 for example,
32:19 my parents fought
32:21 when I was 3 years old,
32:23 5 years old,
32:24 13 to 20.
32:26 And it was still one.
32:28 Again.
32:30 They've been together for 41 years.
32:32 And I was like,
32:33 "Why did my mom expect my dad to get it
32:36 when he didn't get it 20 years ago?"
32:39 And then, you get married.
32:41 And then, you're okay.
32:43 Because it's just beautiful.
32:45 And then,
32:46 compromise,
32:47 forgiveness,
32:49 you know,
32:51 even if you fight,
32:53 you have a misunderstanding
32:55 or a poor belief
32:56 that you'll never get along.
32:59 If that's really your person,
33:01 that's really it.
33:02 You know,
33:03 you won't let it go.
33:05 Didn't your standards go up
33:07 because of the people
33:09 around you?
33:11 Yes.
33:12 That's why I didn't have a long relationship.
33:15 I could see
33:16 that this is not the life I wanted.
33:19 Red flag, right?
33:20 When you see a red flag.
33:21 Yes.
33:22 They're red flags.
33:23 Because when I have a relationship,
33:25 I don't have the intent
33:27 to just have a relationship.
33:30 No.
33:31 I should see this eventually.
33:33 This is what I'll get married to.
33:35 So, when I see that
33:37 we won't get married
33:39 to fundamental values like this,
33:41 that he won't bend,
33:43 especially if I don't bend.
33:45 We'll get married.
33:46 That's it.
33:47 Here's another one.
33:49 "I know this might look unusual,
33:51 but I'm probably just one of the men
33:53 who's so affected
33:55 that my girlfriend keeps on fooling me.
33:58 But I keep on apologizing
34:00 because she said,
34:01 'I don't want to blame myself
34:04 that I might be the one at fault.'
34:07 That's why she keeps on fooling me.
34:10 Sometimes, I think of how to apologize
34:12 so that I'll just quit.
34:14 How to forgive someone
34:15 who cheated on you multiple times.
34:18 Why do people cheat on those they love?"
34:22 Because they cheat.
34:24 I'm just kidding.
34:25 Well,
34:27 for me,
34:29 why do you apologize?
34:31 Yes.
34:33 Yes, it's like
34:34 it's more acceptable.
34:36 I don't know if it's right
34:37 if a woman apologizes.
34:40 Don't do that.
34:42 And that's the last time.
34:44 Just once.
34:45 Right?
34:46 But if it's a man,
34:48 he's cheated on his wife.
34:50 Why do you get points?
34:51 No, if you apologize, it's reset.
34:53 If you're cheated on again,
34:54 you should decide.
34:56 Yes.
34:57 And if you accept that you're cheated on,
35:00 I don't know if you can still look at it as a...
35:03 You know?
35:04 Yeah, true.
35:05 With respect.
35:06 Yes, with respect.
35:08 If you reverse the rules,
35:10 it's easier to understand.
35:13 But,
35:14 'Kuya, he doesn't love you.'
35:16 He didn't mention
35:18 how much his bank account is.
35:19 I feel like he has a lot of money.
35:21 Guys, it's true.
35:22 Or security.
35:24 Or maybe he's a trophy boyfriend.
35:27 Yes.
35:28 And he loves someone
35:30 who's in another relationship.
35:31 He's just waiting.
35:33 I don't know.
35:34 But women don't cheat.
35:36 So,
35:37 Unless,
35:38 you really love...
35:39 or he's cheating on you.
35:43 It's probably a win-win.
35:46 It's true.
35:47 Yes, it's a win-win.
35:48 It's possible.
35:49 Yes.
35:51 And you also look at your own shortcomings.
35:54 Maybe,
35:55 you know?
35:56 Yes, for sure.
35:58 But,
35:59 there's no such thing as a win-win.
36:01 Over and over.
36:02 So,
36:03 you should stop that relationship,
36:05 'Kuya, win.'
36:06 Whatever you call it.
36:07 It's just...
36:09 It's true.
36:10 The question is good.
36:11 Why do people cheat?
36:12 They're not happy.
36:14 Or maybe people are waiting for the rush.
36:18 Because,
36:19 that feeling disappears quickly.
36:21 If it's new,
36:23 cheating,
36:24 it's a rush again, right?
36:25 They have commitment issues.
36:27 Like,
36:28 they don't see their...
36:30 Many people are like that.
36:33 Like,
36:34 I can love you,
36:35 but I can't give you a relationship.
36:38 Like that.
36:39 Or,
36:40 I'll still cheat because
36:42 that's who I am as a person.
36:44 I'm not...
36:45 I'm not committing.
36:47 I'm like,
36:48 I'm your father.
36:49 But I hope you can communicate
36:51 at the start of the relationship, right?
36:53 So, at least,
36:54 you're prepared.
36:55 Yeah.
36:56 Yeah.
36:57 And also,
36:58 you've been together for 50 years.
37:00 Just kidding.
37:01 You've been together for 50 years.
37:03 And you just found out
37:04 that you're still cheating.
37:05 I can't do that.
37:07 I can't do that either.
37:08 I might die.
37:09 I might die.
37:10 I'm sorry.
37:11 I hope you said that on day one.
37:13 I hope I made you angry.
37:15 I made you suffer.
37:17 Yeah.
37:18 Wait, before I let you go.
37:25 Because,
37:26 I always end the podcast
37:28 by turning the tables around.
37:30 You're the one who's going to ask me.
37:33 Really?
37:34 Yes.
37:35 What am I going to ask you?
37:37 Anything that's on your mind.
37:39 My goodness.
37:44 What else do you want to achieve
37:46 at this very moment in your life?
37:48 Do you have anything else?
37:51 Or are you chill?
37:52 Are you happy?
37:53 You know,
37:55 I have this weird balance
37:58 between being chill
38:01 and wanting to achieve more.
38:03 That's true.
38:05 Yes.
38:06 Because I feel like,
38:07 yes, I don't have any awards.
38:09 But I've made a lot of great stories.
38:11 Something like that.
38:13 But does success really matter in the long run?
38:17 Of course.
38:18 Because I've always said that
38:19 if you taste it,
38:20 it's tasteless.
38:22 No, that's true.
38:24 I still have a lot of things I want to achieve.
38:26 But,
38:28 I'm also starting to tell myself
38:33 that it's okay to achieve.
38:35 But if you can't achieve it,
38:36 it's okay.
38:37 Unlike when I was younger,
38:38 I needed to make this story.
38:41 I really wanted to make this person.
38:43 Because if you can achieve it,
38:45 there's nothing...
38:46 There's nothing, right?
38:48 There's nothing, right?
38:49 That's true.
38:52 So, that's it.
38:54 I love my job.
38:56 I owe it to my job.
38:59 That's why I'm still pursuing it.
39:01 Yes.
39:02 But when you tell yourself
39:04 that you need to
39:09 make this person,
39:11 you're done.
39:13 You're done.
39:14 I'm done.
39:15 Have you ever told yourself
39:17 that you're guilty
39:20 and you should've done it?
39:22 You're not like that.
39:23 There are borderlines like that.
39:26 Like,
39:29 I was afraid
39:30 because it might ruin the person.
39:33 So, I don't know if I'll go out
39:36 because
39:38 of course, it's your job.
39:41 And you're afraid of the effects.
39:45 So, now,
39:47 I'm just there with the truth.
39:50 And I communicate it properly with the person.
39:53 You know that if we release this,
39:56 this might have
39:58 an indelible effect on you.
40:01 In your career.
40:02 Because I always say,
40:04 especially to the artists,
40:06 "Okay, I'll interview you.
40:07 Think about it first.
40:09 I really appreciate the trust.
40:10 But think about it well
40:12 because it might affect you in the long run."
40:16 I'm just here.
40:17 Yes, I think you should think like that.
40:19 Because we need more people like that.
40:22 Some people are just like milk.
40:24 Like, wow.
40:25 You're there forever.
40:28 No, I don't need
40:29 to make a big story
40:34 and you're the one who blew it up.
40:38 For what?
40:40 Yeah.
40:42 I mean, if you have an issue,
40:44 I'll call you.
40:45 "Alex, I want you to interview me about this."
40:48 It's still your option.
40:51 Unlike before,
40:53 we're going to be annoying.
40:54 Now, even if you agreed,
40:56 I'll still talk to you.
40:58 But you know that this might have an effect on you eventually.
41:02 I feel like that's my calling.
41:04 I'm giving advice to new artists.
41:10 When I say,
41:15 "You should be kind to people,"
41:18 I mean it in the sincerest way
41:20 that you should really be kind.
41:22 First of all,
41:23 God put you there
41:25 because He knows you can do it.
41:28 And all of that has a responsibility.
41:32 You didn't become an artist
41:34 to be replaced.
41:38 I'm giving a lot of advice.
41:41 And I hope they're listening.
41:43 Because they come back to me
41:46 when it's been a while.
41:48 "You know, Nelson,
41:49 the one you lent me 5 years ago?
41:51 I still have it."
41:53 It's nice.
41:55 I think it comes with age, right?
41:57 The responsibility.
41:59 I was just a kid.
42:01 But you learn along the way.
42:04 I'm not used to being honest.
42:07 Or sometimes,
42:08 when I make a mistake,
42:10 I'm excused.
42:11 The truth is okay
42:12 as long as you're honest.
42:14 People will be like,
42:15 "Hello, that's the excuse."
42:17 But they really made a mess.
42:19 No, but what's the definition of truth?
42:23 Because it's like your neighbor.
42:29 If there's a demand,
42:30 tell the truth no matter how bad it is.
42:32 But if he brought me food
42:35 and I ate it,
42:36 and he said, "Is my food good?"
42:38 "Yes, it's so good."
42:39 "No, it's not."
42:40 I don't have to be so honest
42:42 and say, "It's trash."
42:44 There's a line between
42:50 brutally frank
42:55 and being honest.
42:57 Yeah, yeah.
42:59 It's true.
43:00 Before,
43:01 I just felt like
43:03 I was saying it.
43:04 Now, there's a 2-second
43:06 where I'm like, "Don't be like that."
43:08 You understand
43:10 because you really mean it that way.
43:12 But you just want to be laughed at.
43:13 You want to be like that.
43:14 And also,
43:16 I said it comes with age,
43:19 that you choose kindness all the time.
43:22 Because even in the middle of anger,
43:26 kindness is still there.
43:28 Be kind.
43:29 Yes, I'm like that.
43:32 I choose kindness all the time.
43:34 But I learned that
43:36 I choose kindness to myself.
43:39 Because that's what I learned.
43:41 Before, it's always others.
43:43 How will they feel?
43:44 They'll give.
43:45 They'll give.
43:46 "Okay, I'll just take care of this
43:49 so there's no mark."
43:50 Now, it's really,
43:51 "You guys take care of your lives."
43:53 When did you think of that?
43:55 Around 2021.
43:58 You were still young, right?
44:00 Yes, 2021.
44:02 I thought of that.
44:03 You started like that?
44:05 I started putting boundaries.
44:08 I'll just be like this.
44:10 Before, it was really,
44:11 "What about them?
44:12 Maybe they'll feel that
44:14 there's no one there for them."
44:16 There's really no one there for them.
44:18 Now, they're rich.
44:19 They can do it.
44:20 Yes, yes.
44:22 Me, I felt alone.
44:24 At some point,
44:25 I felt like I had no friends.
44:27 Nobody cares.
44:28 No one listens.
44:29 I think that's okay.
44:31 No, you survived.
44:33 You survived.
44:35 You're nervous.
44:36 You left this person
44:37 in their most vulnerable state.
44:39 I'm not good with him.
44:40 But he's vulnerable now.
44:42 So, it's a shame.
44:43 Now, you should leave him.
44:45 You should leave him.
44:46 Yes.
44:47 Instead of being affected by your mental health.
44:50 I have a choice.
44:52 Choose yourself.
44:53 Yeah, choose yourself.
44:54 And choose your battles.
44:56 Yes, because yeah.
44:58 Alex,
45:00 December 25,
45:02 we'll be able to watch
45:04 Firefly.
45:05 Yes.
45:06 On Christmas,
45:10 wow!
45:11 That's our
45:12 short film,
45:14 Firefly,
45:15 the official entry of GMA Films
45:17 and GMA Public Affairs
45:19 in Metro Manila Film Fest.
45:22 That's it.
45:23 That's the movie for the family.
45:25 Wow!
45:26 And you'll learn a lot from this.
45:29 A lot.
45:30 And also,
45:31 there's no other story than my mom.
45:34 Even the bravest person
45:38 will cry when it's about my mom.
45:40 Thank you very much, Alex,
45:42 for your time.
45:43 Thank you.
45:44 Alessandra De Rossi, my friends.
45:46 Thank you very much.
45:48 [Music]