A talent agent comes to Brgy. Kuli-Kuli has an offer to assist Toto (Raymart Santiago) in pursuing his dream career, but there's a catch involved.
'Lagot Ka, Isusumbong Kita' is a situational comedy series that follows the chaotic but fun lives of Mamita and her troublesome sons named Tsong, Junior, Ric, and Toto in Brgy. Kuli-Kuli. Watch the episodes of ‘Lagot Ka, Isusumbong Kita’ starring Richard Gomez, Joey Marquez, Benjie Paras, and Raymart Santiago.
'Lagot Ka, Isusumbong Kita' is a situational comedy series that follows the chaotic but fun lives of Mamita and her troublesome sons named Tsong, Junior, Ric, and Toto in Brgy. Kuli-Kuli. Watch the episodes of ‘Lagot Ka, Isusumbong Kita’ starring Richard Gomez, Joey Marquez, Benjie Paras, and Raymart Santiago.
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FunTranscript
00:00 [theme music]
00:03 This is GMA Kili TV, the one and only!
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10:52 But don't. She's a manicurist in a cheap bar in Zambaloc.
10:56 How did you meet her?
10:58 At a gay bar.
11:00 Wait, wait. You went to a gay bar?
11:03 - What did you do? - You're drunk.
11:06 - What? - You're drunk.
11:07 - You're drunk. - You're drunk.
11:10 Hey, I'm not gay. I'm a macho dancer.
11:13 - Macho dancer? - Yes.
11:15 - So, let me see. - I've never seen you with a man.
11:18 Wait, wait, wait.
11:21 Romeo, wait.
11:23 What's the difference if there's a gay man in your house?
11:26 You don't understand. It's just like this.
11:30 Of course, when I was in the army, my brothers were men.
11:33 That's how it was.
11:35 I know how it was. That's how it was.
11:38 - Oh, my God. - Wait.
11:41 - How do you know what it was? - Hey!
11:44 - What? - I thought you were full of gays.
11:47 - You were here earlier. - Hey, stop.
11:50 - Did you hear my question? - No, I thought you were full of gays.
11:54 - No, I asked you a question. - What?
11:57 How do you know what a gay does?
12:00 Because I was also a victim of a gay before.
12:05 - That's why. - Really?
12:07 - Hey! - Let's get him out of here.
12:11 What are you saying? Who's a gay?
12:15 - Wait, sweetie. Relax. - I heard you.
12:18 I'm just relaxing. Let me introduce you to Madam Tusha.
12:21 This is Susie, Tisay, Tom.
12:24 - This is Tessie. - Hi.
12:26 Hello, darling. These are so pretty.
12:30 - Thank you. - Oh.
12:32 Good evening, Lola.
12:34 Nice meeting you.
12:37 This is the convenience store.
12:39 - Oh, this is it. - Yes, this is it.
12:41 If you need anything, just come here.
12:44 Okay.
12:47 What's going on?
12:49 What?
12:50 Hey, Romeo.
12:53 Do you have snake pit?
12:55 - Snake pit? - What snake pit are you talking about?
12:58 - Snake pit? - Snip neck!
12:59 - Snip neck? - Why are you two here?
13:02 I thought you were going to say, "Snip neck!"
13:05 - Snip neck? - Oh, jeez.
13:06 - Snake neck? - What?
13:07 - Snip neck. - Snip neck.
13:08 - You're so deserving. - I don't have a snip neck.
13:13 I just cut the flowers of the kawati.
13:16 Because you're the flower.
13:18 - Hey! - You know this guy?
13:20 - Romeo? - He's my brother.
13:23 Really? Let me see.
13:25 It's Romeo!
13:32 - Wait. - He's so funny.
13:34 - Do you know each other? - I don't know him.
13:37 - He's so funny. - He's so funny.
13:40 This is the convenience store.
13:42 There's a parlor there. If you want to go to your country,
13:45 I'll go there.
13:47 - I'll go with you. - No, you go first.
13:50 I'll follow you. Where is it?
13:51 Go straight, then left, then right.
13:54 - Okay. - Then right.
13:55 - Alright, darling. - Then left.
13:56 You take care, darling.
13:58 - I'm going. - You take care.
14:00 - I'm going. - I'll go with you.
14:02 I'll finish what I'm doing.
14:05 - Nice meeting you, girls. - Yes, likewise.
14:07 You're very sexy.
14:09 I've never seen a body like yours.
14:13 Hey!
14:14 You!
14:15 Don't you dare say my name here
14:18 because I know your name.
14:20 Romeo Colapa!
14:22 And Juliet!
14:24 Don't you dare insult me.
14:28 Huh!
14:29 Huh!
14:30 Or I'll beat you up.
14:32 Peritorio con...
14:34 - Oh! - Oh!
14:36 Come on.
14:37 Peritorio con...
14:39 Even if I'm a peritorio,
14:42 even if I'm gay, I won't beat you up.
14:44 - What? - You!
14:46 - What? - You think I won't beat you up?
14:49 - What? - You don't know me?
14:53 - What? - What?
14:55 You think I'm afraid of you?
14:57 - What are you afraid of? - Hey!
14:59 What are you doing?
15:00 - Oh! - Oh!
15:02 - You're so handsome! - Oh!
15:04 - Wait, wait. - Oh!
15:06 - Oh! - Oh!
15:09 - Wait, wait. - Oh!
15:10 Romeo, what's wrong with you?
15:12 Look at what you did to your face.
15:14 You're a mess.
15:15 Did you have a fight in that suite?
15:18 Remember, even if you're a man and he's a gay,
15:21 he's still a man.
15:22 And he's a big guy.
15:23 He's a muscular guy.
15:24 It's good that you fought.
15:26 What if Maruja fought back?
15:28 Do you remember Maruja?
15:29 The gay who was hanging around here every night
15:31 like a chongo under a flyover.
15:33 If you fought back,
15:34 he put a grip on your armpit.
15:36 No, that Maruja
15:38 who looks like a chongo,
15:40 he'd just put a grip on your armpit.
15:42 He'd dance and dance and dance.
15:45 - He'd do this. - He's not sick, right?
15:47 He can do that.
15:48 You're so pitiful, Romeo.
15:51 If there's anything I can do for you.
15:57 There is.
15:58 You're buying me.
16:01 There is. You can do something.
16:02 You can help me to open that suite.
16:05 You're a big time talent manager.
16:08 Small time manicurist.
16:10 Really?
16:11 He's just a manicurist?
16:12 Wait.
16:13 What if this is how he starts the real thing.
16:17 What if I become a priest?
16:20 Hey, right?
16:22 Whatever you're saying.
16:23 You want to become a priest?
16:25 No one will believe you.
16:27 Right?
16:28 Yes.
16:29 It hurts to talk, Madam Tusha.
16:31 That's why you're becoming a priest.
16:33 You've been preaching for a long time.
16:36 Why? What do I matter?
16:40 You're asking too many questions, Madam Tusha.
16:42 You're just a joke.
16:43 You're all just jokes.
16:44 You're lucky you're close to me.
16:46 You're lucky.
16:47 Stop it.
16:48 Wait.
16:50 Look at your face.
16:52 Don't be surprised.
16:53 Oh, poor thing.
16:57 Oh, oh.
16:58 Why are you still smiling?
17:01 Oh, yes.
17:03 He looks like an eye shadow.
17:05 That's why he's not even.
17:06 One is missing.
17:08 There's only one.
17:10 I know. I know.
17:12 Okay, I'll do this.
17:13 Don't move.
17:14 We'll just kill him.
17:15 Okay, give me this.
17:17 Hey, hey, hey.
17:19 Sir, sir.
17:20 He wants to die.
17:21 He wants to die.
17:22 Let's give him another one.
17:24 Don't.
17:25 Don't be silly.
17:26 It's just like this.
17:27 It hurts.
17:28 It hurts.
17:29 It hurts.
17:31 It's like this.
17:34 There.
17:37 He's dead.
17:38 You're so good.
17:39 You're so brainy and bubbly.
17:42 Stop.
17:43 Blessing in disguise.
17:45 I'm here, Toto.
17:47 You think I didn't know
17:48 that there are people
17:50 who can be an artist.
17:51 Like this one.
17:53 He's so handsome.
17:54 In fairness,
17:56 he can be in bold movies.
17:59 Like this one.
18:00 He can be in Zuma.
18:02 I just talked to the producer.
18:03 He'll give you the role.
18:05 This is another one.
18:07 He can be in father roles.
18:10 He's so good.
18:11 Sugar daddy?
18:12 Yes, sugar daddy of bold stars.
18:14 He's so good.
18:16 This one.
18:18 This one is more...
18:20 Oh, my.
18:23 This is so good.
18:27 Wait.
18:28 Why is this manager so good?
18:30 Do you need to be pampered?
18:32 Oh, darling.
18:33 That pampering is what
18:35 high-class talent managers like me do.
18:38 We pamper the artists
18:40 so that we know
18:42 if they're good.
18:43 If an artist is good,
18:45 he gives them meaty roles.
18:48 That's very important.
18:50 Right, Toto?
18:51 Yes.
18:52 I used to pamper him.
18:54 Rick, stand up.
18:56 I want to know if you're talented.
18:59 That's important.
19:00 If I'm talented.
19:02 That's great.
19:04 If you're talented,
19:06 I'll be proud of you.
19:08 Wait.
19:09 Why did you make me a performer?
19:12 Why did you make me a boomer?
19:14 Don't worry.
19:15 They won't forget.
19:17 That's very important.
19:18 A manager needs to be pampered.
19:21 We need to be good.
19:23 It's bad if you're the only one pampering.
19:25 But what if there are other artists?
19:28 There are artists,
19:29 but no talent.
19:31 They're like the old gold boys.
19:33 I want to have a name like that.
19:36 That's good.
19:37 I want to know...
19:39 That's good.
19:40 You three,
19:41 Rick,
19:42 do you want me to pamper you?
19:45 Okay.
19:46 I'm okay if I can be a performer.
19:49 Here, I'll pamper you.
19:51 Wait.
19:54 I'll hold you.
19:55 Let go.
19:56 Hold me.
19:57 Hold me.
19:58 Hold me.
19:59 There.
20:00 Hold me.
20:01 I told you.
20:03 Hey!
20:04 Stop that!
20:06 You're a boomer!
20:08 And why?
20:11 What do you mean by a boomer?
20:15 Do you want us to be famous?
20:18 Are you challenging me?
20:20 Huh?
20:21 Yes.
20:22 Okay.
20:23 What?
20:24 What?
20:25 You don't want to be famous?
20:27 I'll push you to the toilet.
20:29 I'm not afraid of you!
20:31 You're not afraid?
20:32 No.
20:33 What?
20:34 What?
20:35 Get down!
20:36 I'll fight you!
20:37 No!
20:38 I'll fight you.
20:39 I'll fight you.
20:40 I'll fight you.
20:41 I'll fight you.
20:42 I'll fight you.
20:43 I'll fight you.
20:44 I'll fight you.
20:45 I'll fight you.
20:46 I'll fight you.
20:47 I'll fight you.
20:48 I'll fight you.
20:49 I'll fight you.
20:50 I'll fight you.
20:51 I'll fight you.
20:52 I'll fight you.
20:53 He's a jackpot!
20:54 Brother!
20:55 You're a jackpot!
20:56 You're a jackpot!
20:57 You're a jackpot!
20:58 You're a jackpot!
20:59 You're a jackpot!
21:00 You're a jackpot!
21:01 You're a jackpot!
21:02 Okay, okay, okay.
21:03 Here, here, here.
21:04 Here?
21:05 I'll push you to the toilet.
21:06 You know what?
21:07 Here's our room.
21:08 Four beds.
21:09 You can sleep there.
21:10 But wait a minute.
21:11 You know what I've noticed, Sweet?
21:13 Yes?
21:14 In your wealth,
21:15 why do you have bags like that?
21:17 It's like you're carrying a bag of money.
21:19 Of course, Darling.
21:20 Rich people should know that.
21:22 Especially me, I'm a jeepney.
21:24 Huh?
21:25 You're a jeepney?
21:26 You're a jeepney?
21:27 Yes, why?
21:28 What's wrong with that?
21:29 Excuse me for your information.
21:30 The first class SUV is a jeepney.
21:33 And by Philippine made.
21:35 100% Filipino.
21:37 And it's exported.
21:38 It's luxurious.
21:39 That's right.
21:40 Sweet, I'll sleep here.
21:43 And I'll sleep on the bed.
21:45 Oh, Toto, don't be shy.
21:48 You sleep on the bed.
21:49 I'll sleep on the bed.
21:50 No, let's just sleep on your bed.
21:52 That's okay.
21:53 Let's sleep on the bed?
21:54 Yes.
21:55 It's cold today.
21:56 But it's hot.
21:58 And I can't sleep for 8 hours straight.
22:01 Because it's hot.
22:03 Is that so?
22:04 Okay, let's do this.
22:05 You'll sleep beside me for 2 hours.
22:08 Then another 2 hours for Rich.
22:09 Then another 2 hours for this.
22:11 Then another 2 hours for this.
22:12 You'll sleep beside me for 2 hours.
22:15 Wait, wait.
22:16 All of you?
22:17 I mean, all of you will sleep on the bed.
22:20 All of you.
22:22 Straight.
22:23 Toto, come here.
22:25 You can sleep with Romeo.
22:29 Romeo, Romeo.
22:30 Romeo, Romeo.
22:31 Romeo, Romeo.
22:32 Romeo, Romeo.
22:33 Why?
22:34 Why?
22:35 I don't want to.
22:37 Why?
22:38 Why Romeo?
22:39 Whatever.
22:40 Is it okay?
22:41 I'm okay here, boys.
22:43 You know, it's better if you sleep here.
22:45 Toto, there's an extra bed here.
22:46 I don't want to.
22:47 There, there.
22:48 I don't want to.
22:49 There, there.
22:50 There, there.
22:51 There, there.
22:52 There, there.
22:53 There, there.
22:54 There, there.
22:55 There's an extra bed.
22:56 There, there.
22:57 There, there.
22:58 There, there.
22:59 There, there.
23:00 There, there.
23:01 There, there.
23:02 There, there.
23:03 There, there.
23:04 There, there.
23:05 There, there.
23:06 There, there.
23:07 There, there.
23:08 There, there.
23:09 There, there.
23:10 There, there.
23:11 There, there.
23:12 There, there.
23:13 There, there.
23:14 There, there.
23:15 There, there.
23:16 There, there.
23:17 There, there.
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33:19 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
33:26 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
33:33 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
33:38 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
33:41 [LAUGHTER]
33:50 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
34:06 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
34:09 [LAUGHTER]
34:15 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
34:18 [LAUGHTER]
34:22 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
34:26 [LAUGHTER]
34:30 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
34:35 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
34:38 [LAUGHTER]
34:41 (laughing)