Best Movie Of Jennifer Connelly - Career Opportunities
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [MUSIC]
00:00:10 [MUSIC]
00:00:20 [MUSIC]
00:00:30 [MUSIC]
00:00:40 That wasn't a store robbery.
00:00:55 That was an assassination.
00:00:58 That wasn't a clerk, that was a wise guy.
00:01:01 How do I know?
00:01:03 I spend a little time with the FBI's Organized Crime Unit.
00:01:08 I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable of the seedy and rancorous workings of the mob in the Midwest section of this country.
00:01:15 I know a gangland slang when I see one, and that's exactly what this baby is.
00:01:19 I'd look into it myself personally, but I got a date tonight.
00:01:23 I think I'll take the private jet out and fly to Spain, pick up the little lady, do the subsonic tummy bump at 30,000 feet, and glide back into the U.S. of A by dawn.
00:01:34 I know what you're gonna say.
00:01:36 Jim, Jim Dodge, settle down, relax, you owe it to yourself.
00:01:41 I'll tell you what I tell everybody else.
00:01:43 Any little frawline that expects anything more from me than a little bit of pleasure and a little bit of danger and a great set of pectorals,
00:01:52 she's looking for a fall right on her ass.
00:01:54 Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, get out of here!
00:02:01 Let me tell you something, you know what's good for you? Don't you ever come back!
00:02:05 Wait, Hubie, you're not gonna find someone who has the relationship with those animals that I do.
00:02:11 Listen to the dogs, Hubie, they love me!
00:02:16 I lost my daughter when I was 15. That's when I invented the artificial cow heart.
00:02:21 Oh, that was a big thing.
00:02:23 A little before your time, but, uh, at all the newspapers, ABC, NBC, CBS, they all picked up on it.
00:02:30 But it's more or less a hobby for me, boys.
00:02:39 Actually, today I decided that I've gone just about as far as I can go in the animal health care business.
00:02:46 But to answer your question, the reason that I'm out at work this afternoon is because I was made an offer that I simply cannot refuse.
00:02:53 I sold.
00:02:55 What you gonna do with the cash, Jim?
00:02:56 I don't know, maybe I'll invest it overseas. I got some projects in Eastern Europe right now. I don't know, I got everything a man needs.
00:03:02 Jim, you just bought the animal hospital. How come you sold it so fast?
00:03:08 Tax problem.
00:03:09 And here's my accountant right now.
00:03:12 Earl, take a bow.
00:03:14 [laughs]
00:03:16 Hey, 20 minutes for lunch, Earl, okay? Go buy another soup.
00:03:19 He works for me. He's scouting some real estate for me right now.
00:03:23 Yeah, but the market's real tight.
00:03:25 I like the new uniform, Lorraine.
00:03:34 You know, with the right shoes and handbag, that might be suitable for a cocktail party.
00:03:38 So, question. When in the world are you gonna start serving sashimi?
00:03:44 Maybe when I find out what it is.
00:03:47 You've never heard of sashimi? You gotta be kidding.
00:03:53 It's a special Japanese fish you eat raw. Whirl, a little butter sauce, you're ready to go to heaven.
00:04:02 I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't already fired you so many times.
00:04:07 Did you ever think of leaving town?
00:04:10 Thousands of people over in St. Louis. Got no idea how full of shit you are.
00:04:18 You've been alive for 21 years, my friend. Plenty of time for most people to find a place for themselves.
00:04:29 Wow. I'm not like everybody else.
00:04:33 Yeah, that's for sure.
00:04:36 How about a fight? I'll work for you for free.
00:04:43 Afraid not, Jimmy. Think about St. Louis.
00:04:52 Hey, Josie. Hi.
00:04:58 Pull up? Pull up.
00:04:59 How you doing?
00:05:20 You got a fire again, didn't you? Yeah.
00:05:39 Didn't you? Who told you that?
00:05:42 Hubey Marshall called me at work.
00:05:45 He called you at work? That's it. Okay. I'm gonna have it. I'll speak. What did he say?
00:05:50 He said he fired you.
00:05:52 Can you believe that? Damn straight I do.
00:05:57 All due respect, I do. Mr. Gullible, sometimes.
00:06:00 The truth of the matter is, Dad, I resigned.
00:06:05 And I'll tell you something else, Dad. Shut up, Jimmy.
00:06:08 When I took the job, I had no idea it was gonna be a higher-fire situation.
00:06:13 Luther Bettenhaus' boy's doing much better.
00:06:15 What's wrong with him? He fell off his grandfather's silo.
00:06:18 He's got brain damage. He does not.
00:06:20 He does, too. Pooper face, his tongue's gonna hang out the side of his mouth for the rest of his life.
00:06:26 And when he dies and they bury him, at the funeral they're gonna put a mask on him.
00:06:29 Do I have to listen to this while I'm eating?
00:06:32 Let's talk about something else.
00:06:40 Josie McClellan moved to New York.
00:06:42 She did not. I just saw her today.
00:06:45 Well, I don't know how you could.
00:06:47 I heard at the bank that she got tired of taking care of her father, and she told him to jump in a lake.
00:06:52 And then she left for New York to get her an MBA in high fashion design at the University of New York City.
00:06:57 I just saw her down at the gas station. In living color. We had a cup of java together.
00:07:03 Well, I'm gonna take Lou Selby's word over yours any day.
00:07:09 Lou Selby? Lou Selby's a drunk.
00:07:11 You know, for a guy who's just lost his umpteenth job, you sure are handy with the tongue sword.
00:07:17 You got canned again?
00:07:19 Well, he didn't get canned.
00:07:22 He got fired.
00:07:24 There's gotta be some kind of record.
00:07:27 Not only are you an obnoxious slug, but you're a freeloading obnoxious slug.
00:07:37 Well, you should talk. What are you, in your mid-forties and still living at home?
00:07:41 I'm 24, and I pay rent.
00:07:45 So do I.
00:07:47 You did pay rent.
00:07:48 Dad? You mean you're cutting my rent?
00:07:52 Hell no! Not paying rent 'cause you don't have a job and you don't have any money.
00:07:57 You're out of school and you live in this house. You pay rent.
00:08:01 [Music]
00:08:05 I wanna stay home.
00:08:08 I wanna stay home right here.
00:08:13 I wanna stay home today.
00:08:18 I wanna stay home.
00:08:21 Jim! Jim!
00:08:22 Wake up! Hey! Jim!
00:08:28 Get up!
00:08:31 You know, getting this job, restoring your faith and pride in me is a number one priority right now, Dad.
00:08:42 Priority ought to be making something of yourself.
00:08:45 That's right up there.
00:08:47 When I was your age, I couldn't wait to get out of my folks' house.
00:08:51 I love living at home.
00:08:56 [Music]
00:08:59 I don't think this is such a great place for me to work, Dad.
00:09:09 Okay. Say I don't get this job, hypothetically, are you gonna be upset?
00:09:19 You don't get this job, you're on a bus to St. Louis.
00:09:22 St. Louis?
00:09:23 Well, Jeff's offered to put you to work in his garden shop.
00:09:25 I don't know anything about gardening.
00:09:28 You will learn.
00:09:30 I'm getting a distinct feeling that you want me out of your life.
00:09:34 I don't want you out of my life. I want you out of my house.
00:09:37 Out!
00:09:41 Okay, okay, okay.
00:09:42 Shh.
00:09:43 [Music]
00:09:47 [Music]
00:09:50 Are you sure I can't offer you a coffee in a bear claw?
00:10:01 No, thanks.
00:10:03 They're very good. They're fresh.
00:10:05 No, I'm fine.
00:10:07 You don't want one and I don't need one.
00:10:08 I love the darn things, though, I tell you.
00:10:12 You know, I got a sweet tooth. I could eat those things by the dozen by the looks of it I have.
00:10:17 I tell you, I'm so excited that you're considering joining the Target team.
00:10:24 We all are.
00:10:25 I appreciate that.
00:10:28 Good.
00:10:29 Then let's cut right to the chase, shall we?
00:10:31 We're prepared to offer you $42,500 a year with a full benefit package.
00:10:39 That's dental, medical, profit sharing, pension, expense account, car allowance, vacation, of course, and any and all relocating expenses.
00:10:51 This is our first, best, and last offer.
00:10:54 What do you think?
00:10:56 Well, C.D., with all due respect, I came in here with the number 45 in my mind and I...
00:11:06 [music]
00:11:29 You've got me.
00:11:31 45 it is.
00:11:35 Welcome aboard.
00:11:36 Thank you.
00:11:37 I'd like to buy you lunch.
00:11:39 No, no, no, no, no. Your money's no good here. Lunch is mine, all right?
00:11:42 I'm not going to argue with you.
00:11:44 You better not. I'm bigger than you are.
00:11:45 Hang on a sec. I told her to hold my calls.
00:11:49 Get it.
00:11:50 Yeah, Peg. Uh-huh.
00:11:52 It's okay.
00:11:55 No, he's right here with me now.
00:11:57 Hi, Peg.
00:11:58 We just closed the deal. Uh-huh.
00:12:01 Oh, he's a slam dunk, too. Yeah, I got him for 45.
00:12:05 No, he's right here.
00:12:12 What do you mean he missed the plane?
00:12:15 Then who the hell am I talking to?
00:12:21 Oh, Lord.
00:12:25 I'll, uh...
00:12:28 I'll get back to you.
00:12:31 I know a great little Italian place that has the best pasta primatonis in the world.
00:12:36 Just a minute, will you please?
00:12:37 Lovely wife you have there.
00:12:39 Dodge, James?
00:12:40 Mm-hmm.
00:12:43 James, I'm afraid we have a little misunderstanding here.
00:12:48 You see, I thought you came in for the, uh, operations manager's job.
00:12:53 I have you down here as a night cleanup boy.
00:12:58 Well, I'm a little overpaid for night cleanup boy, wouldn't you say, C.D.?
00:13:02 The truth is, James, I can offer you, uh, $4.44 per hour.
00:13:08 Uh, $4.44?
00:13:15 $4.44.
00:13:16 What about the benefits?
00:13:18 Two 15-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch.
00:13:21 And the title is, uh, night...
00:13:24 And the title is, uh, night...
00:13:27 cleanup boy?
00:13:29 Yes.
00:13:30 I'll take it.
00:13:34 Oh, and, uh, lose the curl.
00:13:38 Welcome to the target team.
00:13:40 Thank you.
00:13:41 So the parrot says, "Of course I can talk. Can you fly?"
00:13:50 I don't want any damn Japanese automobile plant in this town.
00:13:54 It means jobs.
00:13:59 I don't need jobs.
00:14:02 Your governor's trying to use my town as a political chip.
00:14:05 Gentlemen, I resent that.
00:14:07 Well, there could be some specific benefits for you personally.
00:14:11 Josie!
00:14:16 Josie!
00:14:17 Yeah?
00:14:21 Come here.
00:14:22 I want you to meet these gentlemen from the governor's office.
00:14:25 Come on in here, honey.
00:14:45 Honey, I want you to meet Bill...
00:14:47 Oh, Bob.
00:14:48 Bob Bosenbeck.
00:14:50 Dave.
00:15:13 My pleasure, Dave.
00:15:15 Right.
00:15:17 Dave Hockner.
00:15:19 I don't want to interrupt your meeting.
00:15:23 Very nice to meet both of you.
00:15:26 Bye.
00:15:27 Bye.
00:15:29 Josie?
00:15:35 Josie!
00:15:40 Josie!
00:15:41 You pull another stunt like you did today,
00:15:52 I'll beat the living daylights out of you.
00:15:56 [Door slams]
00:15:57 [Screams]
00:16:15 Alright, Al.
00:16:17 I don't understand what's going on.
00:16:23 Oh, really? Out of sight.
00:16:25 Right on time.
00:16:47 Everything's going as planned.
00:16:53 You ordered a limousine?
00:16:55 Of course.
00:16:57 My first day at work, I was going to look at my dad drives me.
00:17:03 I'll treat myself for getting the job.
00:17:05 It's only 50 bucks.
00:17:07 Right on time, Henry.
00:17:11 Yes, sir.
00:17:13 Henry, this is Tom.
00:17:14 Very well.
00:17:16 Yeah.
00:17:17 Watch out!
00:17:20 Watch out!
00:17:21 Hey, Jim! Where are you going?
00:17:31 Hello, boys.
00:17:33 Going to Paris on an F-14.
00:17:36 Got a little peace meeting with the Vice President of Bulgaria.
00:17:39 Business, you know.
00:17:41 Then I'm going to Venice for a big spaghetti dinner with the Princess of Austria.
00:17:45 Beautiful lady. Really big bones.
00:17:48 Remember to brush your teeth, Melvin!
00:17:50 You too, Sydney!
00:17:52 Adios!
00:17:54 Jim is so cool.
00:17:57 [Music]
00:17:59 [Music]
00:18:01 [Music]
00:18:03 [Music]
00:18:05 [Music]
00:18:06 [Music]
00:18:08 [Music]
00:18:10 [Music]
00:18:12 [Music]
00:18:14 [Music]
00:18:16 [Music]
00:18:18 [Music]
00:18:20 [Music]
00:18:22 [Music]
00:18:24 [Music]
00:18:26 [Music]
00:18:28 [Music]
00:18:30 [Music]
00:18:33 Tricks and tricks to do the boogie like King! Oh, fire!
00:18:39 Beat, a beat of a song song. Buzzing in my head my head like a bomb dong.
00:18:44 But listen to the beat, a beat of a song song. A buzzing in my head my head like a bomb dong.
00:18:49 We're standing alive, oh with a kick on fire. Do the king kong jive on a Japanese boogie.
00:18:53 Somebody with me, somebody with me. Playing like I'm shaking under the coconut tree.
00:18:57 The beat, beat of a song song. Buzzing in my head my head like a bomb dong.
00:19:01 But listen to the beat, beat, beat of a song song. A buzzing in my head my head like a bomb dong.
00:19:06 Do the boogie like one big flop. Give a bop to soul one heartbeat plop.
00:19:10 I sing my song and I'm a rockin'. Burning up with a blue ice fever.
00:19:15 Listen to the beat, beat, beat of a song song. A buzzing in my head my head like a bomb dong.
00:19:19 We're standing alive, oh with a kick on fire. Do the king kong jive on a Japanese boogie.
00:19:24 Bobby, you got a loose towel.
00:19:28 First thing in the morning I want you to take some epoxy cement and take care of this.
00:19:32 I don't need a lawsuit, okay? I got enough to worry about.
00:19:36 Who is he?
00:19:40 Attention shoppers, the store will be closing in five minutes.
00:19:43 Please bring all your purchases to the front. Thank you.
00:19:46 Listen to the beat, beat of a song song. A buzzing in my head my head like a bomb dong.
00:19:52 Do the boogie like one big flop. Give a bop to soul one heartbeat plop.
00:19:57 I sing my song and I'm a rockin'. Burning up with a blue ice fever.
00:20:02 Listen to the beat.
00:20:26 Are you a slacker?
00:20:28 Uh, no, a Presbyterian.
00:20:31 What did you say? What did you say? Now I'm asking you a simple question.
00:20:35 Are you lazy?
00:20:37 No, sir.
00:20:38 Because the last guy that wore that uniform was a lazy slacker and I fired his no good butt.
00:20:42 Uh, about the uniform. Will I be getting my own?
00:20:48 You work out, which I doubt. You could have yourself a new name patch.
00:20:53 Ha ha.
00:20:55 Uh, would I be able to have it laundered? It smells a little bit like Darnell.
00:21:01 I don't think you know who you're messing with, boy.
00:21:04 All right, after you clean the ladies and the men's crappers, and I'm talking about, you better be able to eat off those bones.
00:21:09 Oh, sure.
00:21:10 You clean my coffee maker, then you wax my desk.
00:21:12 Uh, now, clean what?
00:21:14 You clean my coffee maker and wax my desk.
00:21:17 Oh, yes, I got it.
00:21:18 You sweep the aisles, starting with health and beauty, and you work your way over to juniors and missus.
00:21:23 Ups and downs, leaving you debris in the cross aisles.
00:21:25 So I start with health and beauty and...
00:21:27 What did I just say? I just said you start with health and beauty, okay?
00:21:30 Then you do your cross aisles. That'll bring your dustbin into play.
00:21:33 You take the debris, you load it into the dustbin.
00:21:36 You take the dustbin out to the loading dock area and you empty it into the receptacle.
00:21:40 Huh? You got that?
00:21:42 Easy as pie, huh?
00:21:43 Now, I was going to play for a brief period of Del Taco.
00:21:45 I really don't care about your Del Taco experience, boy.
00:21:48 All right, now, we got this little problem in this store with grazers.
00:21:51 You know what a grazer is, boy?
00:21:52 Uh, is that some sort of pharma truck?
00:21:54 A grazer is a customer or an employee that eats off the shelves, okay?
00:21:58 Sort of similar to a cow grazing in a field of grass.
00:22:01 Only this isn't a field of grass, okay? And you're not a cow.
00:22:03 There's no eating. You're not being paid to eat, so don't.
00:22:06 You got any questions?
00:22:07 Uh, not right offhand, no.
00:22:09 You think you can handle it?
00:22:10 Oh, give it the old college try.
00:22:12 Don't touch me!
00:22:14 Well, despite our age difference, I think I'm really going to enjoy working with you.
00:22:19 Let's get something straight, boy.
00:22:20 You ain't working with me. You're working for me.
00:22:23 Still, I think it's going to be fun being around you.
00:22:26 Yeah, well, I'm going to be anywhere near you.
00:22:27 I'm going to be whole pumping the pasties at, uh, Colleen Jackson.
00:22:30 You're not going to be here?
00:22:31 Hell no.
00:22:33 I'm going to be here by myself?
00:22:37 Yeah, that's right.
00:22:39 And you better stay out of the ladies' undergoods.
00:22:43 Wait a minute.
00:22:44 Nobody told me that I would be here alone.
00:22:46 What are you doing?
00:22:47 Saving money.
00:22:49 Wait a minute. You're turning off the lights?
00:22:51 In 25 seconds, you got light in every third aisle.
00:22:53 When the sun comes up, you turn off all the lights. You understand?
00:22:56 No, no, I don't understand. Just hold on a second.
00:22:59 I'm locking you in.
00:23:01 When I come back at 7, open up. I'll let you out.
00:23:05 You're locking me in?
00:23:09 What do you take me for, a fool?
00:23:11 Nobody gets a set of keys on their first night. Nobody!
00:23:15 Now get to work!
00:23:17 What if there's a fire?
00:23:19 Then the fire department will come.
00:23:21 I could perish!
00:23:22 Boo.
00:23:24 You can't do this. I'm locked in, alone, in the dark.
00:23:27 What was that? A part of my employment agreement!
00:23:30 [♪♪♪]
00:23:34 [♪♪♪]
00:23:38 [♪♪♪]
00:23:41 [♪♪♪]
00:23:54 [♪♪♪]
00:23:57 [♪♪♪]
00:24:13 [♪♪♪]
00:24:23 [♪♪♪]
00:24:26 [♪♪♪]
00:24:51 [♪♪♪]
00:24:54 [♪♪♪]
00:25:07 [♪♪♪]
00:25:19 [♪♪♪]
00:25:47 9-17?
00:25:49 Time for a break.
00:25:54 [♪♪♪]
00:25:57 [♪♪♪]
00:26:05 [laughing]
00:26:13 [♪♪♪]
00:26:16 Hello?
00:26:21 Anybody out there?
00:26:25 When I accepted the...
00:26:27 the post of President of Grand Puba, Target...
00:26:30 realizing that I have brought...
00:26:34 meaningfulness and peace and happiness into the lives of thousands of people...
00:26:41 I met my sister, Dotch, from Monroe.
00:26:44 When you make her on the tour, his father's here today, but Dotch.
00:26:48 And Sister Penny, sad, sad story, was just admitted to University Hospital...
00:26:53 while trying to pop a zit, her head mysteriously exploded.
00:26:57 [♪♪♪]
00:27:00 [explosion]
00:27:02 [♪♪♪]
00:27:05 [screeching]
00:27:09 [screeching]
00:27:11 [screeching]
00:27:14 [screeching]
00:27:17 [phone ringing]
00:27:20 Dad? Hi.
00:27:22 Jim, do you know what time it is?
00:27:24 You know, I started to think about Christmas.
00:27:26 And gifts.
00:27:28 'Cause I'm in a store, a big store, and I'm starting to get a lot of gift ideas.
00:27:31 Hi.
00:27:33 Mom, hi. How's it going?
00:27:36 Well, I finished all my janitor stuff.
00:27:38 I mean, I finished most of it.
00:27:40 I gotta save some stuff for later.
00:27:42 But it's easy-- Um, honey, it's a little late.
00:27:46 Yeah, it is kind of late.
00:27:48 Well, sleep tight.
00:27:50 See you in the morning.
00:27:53 Love you, too.
00:27:55 Mr. James Dodge.
00:28:02 [clicking]
00:28:05 [♪♪♪]
00:28:08 [gunshots]
00:28:10 [♪♪♪]
00:28:13 [gunshots]
00:28:18 [♪♪♪]
00:28:21 [tires screeching]
00:28:23 [gunshots]
00:28:26 [gunshots]
00:28:33 [♪♪♪]
00:28:36 [gunshots]
00:28:42 [♪♪♪]
00:28:45 [gunshots]
00:28:49 [♪♪♪]
00:28:52 [gunshot]
00:28:58 I can't be happy as a night cleanup boy.
00:29:01 [sighs]
00:29:03 Sweetheart, he wants us to call him a janitor.
00:29:08 Maybe I should have spent less time harping and more time helping.
00:29:15 Harping and helping what?
00:29:18 Harping on him to leave and helping him become the...
00:29:23 good, mature, productive person he could be.
00:29:27 [♪♪♪]
00:29:29 [♪♪♪]
00:29:32 [♪♪♪]
00:29:35 [♪♪♪]
00:29:50 [♪♪♪]
00:29:53 [♪♪♪]
00:30:01 [♪♪♪]
00:30:12 [♪♪♪]
00:30:15 [♪♪♪]
00:30:38 [♪♪♪]
00:30:41 [♪♪♪]
00:30:48 [grunts]
00:30:50 Are you all right?
00:30:58 Yes, I'm fine, thanks.
00:31:02 And you?
00:31:04 What are you doing here?
00:31:07 I work here.
00:31:09 How's everyone else for dine?
00:31:11 Okay, Carl, keep in touch.
00:31:13 Let me know if you hear anything.
00:31:15 What do you think?
00:31:17 Well, since she didn't leave on the bus...
00:31:21 Apparently she isn't here. Let's go look for her someplace else.
00:31:24 She wouldn't be dumb enough to thumb, would she?
00:31:27 Does she have any friends that she might have run off with?
00:31:31 Boyfriend?
00:31:33 Would you just get in the car so we can go look for the girl, please?
00:31:37 I'm tired. I had to get out of the bed.
00:31:39 I haven't had any coffee. I don't feel good.
00:31:41 My daughter, I don't know where the hell she is.
00:31:43 You're standing by the car there,
00:31:45 sounding like some goddamn preacher or something.
00:31:47 Come on, get in the car.
00:31:49 Prick.
00:31:51 Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself?
00:31:57 Oh, no.
00:31:59 Are you kidding? No, I'm fine.
00:32:01 Can I ask what you were doing?
00:32:03 Uh, oh, I was roller skating.
00:32:05 I know. But why?
00:32:07 Oh, why not?
00:32:09 Got bored.
00:32:11 One thing led to another, and I'm roller skating in my shorts.
00:32:15 Better question would be, what are you doing here?
00:32:18 Shopping.
00:32:20 Well, we've been closed for five hours.
00:32:23 Yeah, I fell asleep.
00:32:25 While shopping?
00:32:27 No, in the ladies' dressing room.
00:32:29 That makes no sense.
00:32:31 You're a high-profile young ingénue.
00:32:33 I was debating... What?
00:32:35 Whether or not to get arrested for shoplifting.
00:32:37 Doesn't your father own, like,
00:32:39 $10 million worth of real estate in this town?
00:32:41 Well, it's not my fault.
00:32:43 No, no, I didn't imply such.
00:32:45 It just seems funny that someone of your, uh...
00:32:47 Wealth?
00:32:49 If you will, would be shoplifting.
00:32:51 I didn't do it. I chickened out.
00:32:54 Would consider shoplifting.
00:32:56 It's a long, dull, self-indulgent,
00:32:59 highly unromantic story about an overbearing father,
00:33:03 deceased mother and brother,
00:33:05 and a completely confused girl.
00:33:08 Looks a little like me.
00:33:22 [dog barking]
00:33:49 I sure am glad you dropped by.
00:33:52 I mean, I was getting pretty tired of being with myself.
00:33:55 I guess, uh...
00:34:00 I guess I'm what you call a people person.
00:34:03 What are you cooking?
00:34:07 Uh, hobo chicken.
00:34:09 It's a glazed chicken in wine sauce
00:34:11 with vegetables and skin-on potatoes.
00:34:13 Silverware, silverware.
00:34:18 It's only 210 calories,
00:34:20 and I don't know if you're watching your figure,
00:34:22 but I sure am.
00:34:24 Uh, if you could just grab a serving spoon over there,
00:34:27 I think we'll be set.
00:34:29 Uh, keep your distance from these things.
00:34:36 I think it's safe to keep five feet.
00:34:39 I think they're about done.
00:34:45 Well, dining room's right this way.
00:34:48 Mmm.
00:34:53 Mmm.
00:34:55 Oh, I think my father
00:34:57 poured the cement for your pool.
00:35:00 He's a cement contractor.
00:35:03 Good man.
00:35:05 Bud Dodge.
00:35:07 My mother works at Hanukkah's over Christmas part-time.
00:35:09 My sister's a teller at the bank.
00:35:11 My brother's in grade school.
00:35:13 He's not employed at the moment.
00:35:15 I used to work at the animal shelter,
00:35:17 but I was terminated,
00:35:19 and, uh, now I'm working here.
00:35:21 Do you always talk this much?
00:35:25 Yeah, I guess I do.
00:35:29 I like-- I like talking to people.
00:35:32 Oh.
00:35:34 I was thinking maybe you should go into sales.
00:35:36 I've actually tried that.
00:35:42 [scoffs]
00:35:44 Some, uh, fresh ground pepper?
00:35:48 Please.
00:35:50 Some people don't like a lot of pepper.
00:35:54 Say when.
00:35:56 That's fine.
00:35:58 Um, I happen to really like it a lot.
00:36:00 I think it enhances the natural flavor of the chicken.
00:36:02 I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
00:36:09 I've had dreams about you.
00:36:12 You've had dreams about me?
00:36:14 Well, not recently.
00:36:18 I've had dreams about you in the past.
00:36:20 I mean, I've had dreams about an entire cheerleading squad,
00:36:22 so don't get me wrong.
00:36:24 I mean, it's kid stuff, you know?
00:36:26 How about you?
00:36:27 Do I dream?
00:36:29 Mm.
00:36:31 It's about all I do.
00:36:33 [music playing]
00:36:35 Raising a kid's hard work.
00:36:48 You got any kids?
00:36:50 No, sir.
00:36:51 No, sir.
00:36:52 And from listening to you talk and from observing this,
00:36:54 I-- I'm kind of grateful that old Emily turned up infertile.
00:37:01 [music playing]
00:37:03 Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store?
00:37:19 I got plenty of time.
00:37:21 Big store.
00:37:22 Huge.
00:37:25 Always smoke cigars?
00:37:28 I enjoy a good one after a fine meal.
00:37:30 Settles the stomach.
00:37:33 You're the town liar, right?
00:37:35 What?
00:37:41 I'm sorry.
00:37:42 That-- that really came out wrong.
00:37:45 Something like that could come out right.
00:37:47 I guess I meant that that's what people call you,
00:37:48 but I'd mean to imply that it's actually the truth.
00:37:50 People actually calling me that?
00:37:51 I thought you knew.
00:37:52 Know what?
00:37:53 That I was a town liar?
00:37:54 You didn't?
00:37:55 No, I'm-- I'm not.
00:37:56 I think you might have the wrong information.
00:37:58 I didn't mean to offend you.
00:38:00 Do you think that was a compliment?
00:38:02 No.
00:38:03 No, and I apologize.
00:38:04 You know, I just-- I can't repeat things like that.
00:38:07 Don't think about it.
00:38:08 I-- it's all right.
00:38:09 I mean, as I said, I think you've
00:38:10 gotten the wrong information.
00:38:12 But if people are calling me that,
00:38:14 it's only because they're small, cheap, petty, and jealous.
00:38:16 Small towns are notorious for that kind of thing.
00:38:18 Oh, yeah.
00:38:19 I'm sure there's a word for me.
00:38:21 Sure.
00:38:22 What do they call me?
00:38:23 There's tees.
00:38:24 Tees?
00:38:27 Yeah.
00:38:28 I can see that.
00:38:31 Actually, I never teased.
00:38:34 This is-- it's becoming amusing.
00:38:36 Who exactly calls me a liar?
00:38:39 Everybody.
00:38:40 Everybody.
00:38:41 No, not everybody.
00:38:42 I mean, sure, there's some old people in town.
00:38:44 Right.
00:38:45 What do you think?
00:38:53 What do I think?
00:38:56 Do you think I'm a liar?
00:38:58 Well, I don't know you well enough.
00:39:02 You've known me for almost 17 years.
00:39:04 We went to the same schools from kindergarten on up.
00:39:06 I knew of you, but I didn't know you personally.
00:39:10 That's always bothered me.
00:39:12 I mean, that old in, out, us, them thing.
00:39:16 It's the way it's always been.
00:39:17 I know.
00:39:18 It's always bothered me, I'll tell you.
00:39:19 Sure.
00:39:20 But it's water over the dam now.
00:39:22 Yeah, but it's your dam and my water.
00:39:25 I got crapped on a lot of years.
00:39:27 I just meant that it's in the past.
00:39:29 Well, the present is a result of the past.
00:39:32 I look at my high school yearbook,
00:39:34 and I don't see four fabulous years.
00:39:37 Actually, what I'm reminded of is what it feels like
00:39:39 to have my underwear yanked up my ass
00:39:42 by some big football player with arms like telephone poles.
00:39:44 OK, and where are those guys now?
00:39:48 I know they're not working nights at Target,
00:39:50 I'll tell you that.
00:39:53 I know.
00:39:55 You know, I look at my yearbook,
00:39:58 and I see four fabulous years
00:40:02 that are gonna be the highlight of my life.
00:40:04 Here's what it's like.
00:40:06 First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants
00:40:10 and tighten around the elastic waistband,
00:40:12 and then you-- Highlight.
00:40:13 Yeah, sometimes I'd actually see stars.
00:40:15 Not gonna get any better.
00:40:17 And if I was particularly unlucky,
00:40:19 my shorts would, like, rip completely free,
00:40:22 and I'd have a really drastic fabric burn.
00:40:24 Can you hear me?
00:40:27 Yeah.
00:40:29 I don't really care about a graphic description
00:40:34 of a childhood prank.
00:40:36 Hey, that prank was a motif in my life.
00:40:39 You know, I'm locked in this store here
00:40:46 because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt
00:40:49 so that I could get arrested and embarrass my father
00:40:52 in this stupid, desperate, childish, pathetic attempt
00:40:55 to leave home.
00:40:57 When you have your underwear yanked up your ass,
00:40:59 I have my entire life yanked up my ass.
00:41:03 Well, you're speaking figuratively.
00:41:06 I was speaking literally.
00:41:07 And you're happy.
00:41:08 You know, you're happy.
00:41:10 I'm not happy.
00:41:12 I'm working nights.
00:41:14 Everybody thinks I'm a liar.
00:41:16 My whole family's laughing at me.
00:41:18 Reverend Harwell gave me the finger last week.
00:41:20 Okay, okay, you're not happy,
00:41:21 but at least you have some control over your life.
00:41:23 So do you.
00:41:24 My father controls my life.
00:41:26 You're over 18.
00:41:27 You're going to tell him to drop dead and get on a plane.
00:41:30 So can you?
00:41:31 I don't want to.
00:41:34 I like living at home.
00:41:36 No, you don't.
00:41:37 What am I, a garden snail?
00:41:41 An involuntary muscle in a janitor's suit?
00:41:43 I know what I want to do.
00:41:45 What could you possibly like about living at home at your age?
00:41:49 The meals are great.
00:41:51 There's the, uh, there's cable.
00:41:55 The accommodations are excellent, five star.
00:41:58 What do you care if I'm living at home or not?
00:42:01 Hey, I didn't come here to irritate you.
00:42:04 Well, you're beginning to.
00:42:09 Great, it's really great.
00:42:12 I gotta stop saying those kinds of things.
00:42:15 Those freaking kids, I knew I couldn't trust them.
00:42:18 Town liar.
00:42:19 That's nice rep, nice rep.
00:42:21 I bet it was Gregory, that little weasel.
00:42:23 Top secret, top secret, I tell you.
00:42:25 And they still shoot off their mouths.
00:42:27 If I had really been a French spy,
00:42:29 those little tots would have gotten me killed.
00:42:31 Piano wire wrapped around my neck,
00:42:33 my testicles shoved down my throat,
00:42:35 a piece of dynamite stuck up my ass.
00:42:41 She's so beautiful.
00:42:45 And I'm the town liar.
00:42:50 [door opens]
00:42:53 [music]
00:43:08 ♪ Shiny ball through the open doorway ♪
00:43:16 ♪ Felling love on a summer day ♪
00:43:23 ♪ You're only once but that's alright ♪
00:43:30 ♪ Because it's just so good to be alive ♪
00:43:38 ♪ Take away the troubles, take away the doubles ♪
00:43:43 ♪ Nothing on my mind except my new love ♪
00:43:50 ♪ Nothing on my mind except my new love ♪
00:43:55 [music]
00:44:05 [music stops]
00:44:12 [music]
00:44:15 [music]
00:44:22 [music stops]
00:44:24 [thud]
00:44:26 [footsteps]
00:44:31 Jim, there's no reason to lie right now.
00:44:36 There's no one to impress.
00:44:38 Anyway, I'm not impressed by a man telling me he likes living at home.
00:44:42 Excuse me.
00:44:44 I'm not lying.
00:44:45 And I'm not trying to impress you.
00:44:47 So if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
00:44:49 I have to clean dead flies out of the lighting fixtures.
00:44:52 Okay, okay, my error. I apologize.
00:44:55 It's just that I can't imagine a man
00:44:59 giving up his independence, his right to mate,
00:45:03 to have a family,
00:45:05 to have children, to build a life for himself,
00:45:08 for good cooking.
00:45:10 Hold on.
00:45:11 I have not given up my right to mate.
00:45:14 I have the right to mate anytime I feel like mating.
00:45:19 You go out with someone.
00:45:21 You bring her home.
00:45:23 You introduce her to Mom, Dad, Sis, Billy, Wolfie the dog.
00:45:30 Cocktails in the rumpus room and then do it on the bunk bed.
00:45:35 Oh.
00:45:37 Let's analyze that remark.
00:45:39 I don't have a dog.
00:45:41 My brother's not named Billy.
00:45:43 And I don't even have a rumpus room, so I don't even--
00:45:46 You know what I mean.
00:45:48 Yeah, I know what you mean.
00:45:55 Spit on me. Make me feel lousy.
00:45:58 Make me feel lousy.
00:46:00 Jim, you said something that wasn't true.
00:46:12 No.
00:46:14 No, I said that I can have sex when I want to,
00:46:18 and I do. I do.
00:46:21 However, I was looking forward to a nice, quiet evening of janitoring.
00:46:27 I don't think you see what I'm getting at.
00:46:29 I see what you're getting at.
00:46:31 I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex and an appetite for home cooking.
00:46:35 Don't forget, you're the indecisive shoplifter.
00:46:37 Yes! Exactly!
00:46:39 I would do anything to be in your shoes.
00:46:41 These are Donnell's shoes.
00:46:44 You know, you have freedom and you're not using it.
00:46:48 It makes me sad.
00:46:50 Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town,
00:46:53 and you're trying to get yourself arrested.
00:46:55 It makes me sad, too.
00:46:57 That's pretty stupid.
00:46:58 It's very stupid.
00:47:01 Are you serious?
00:47:03 You haven't been drinking?
00:47:05 Isn't the bottle talking?
00:47:08 No.
00:47:10 Well, then why don't you just talk to the guy?
00:47:15 For the same reason that you can't leave home,
00:47:18 I can't tell my father to go to hell.
00:47:21 Why not?
00:47:24 Because I don't want to be alone.
00:47:30 [music]
00:47:56 Mr. McClellan,
00:47:59 you ever have any family problems, you and your daughter?
00:48:03 What the hell do you think this is?
00:48:07 You got a point.
00:48:09 [music]
00:48:14 Would you go with me somewhere?
00:48:19 Where?
00:48:20 Florida?
00:48:21 Wyoming?
00:48:22 Spain?
00:48:23 It doesn't really matter.
00:48:24 Just a way somewhere.
00:48:27 I'd love to.
00:48:29 I just can't afford to be capricious
00:48:32 and carefree like yourself.
00:48:34 I got to set my sights on something
00:48:37 and really go for it.
00:48:39 My janitor?
00:48:41 It's a beginning.
00:48:42 I'm looking at--
00:48:43 It's an end.
00:48:47 Maybe if you had, like, a destination in mind,
00:48:49 you know, that would make all the difference in the world.
00:48:52 Why?
00:48:54 Well, I'm just not built to aimlessly roam the world.
00:48:59 I'm too conservative for that.
00:49:02 Well, I was thinking about Los Angeles.
00:49:07 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:49:10 What for?
00:49:11 Live, work.
00:49:14 At what?
00:49:15 Whatever.
00:49:16 And what about your father?
00:49:20 When I don't die,
00:49:22 he'll realize that I can make it on my own.
00:49:25 If I do, he'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can't.
00:49:29 If I run and he brings me back,
00:49:31 or if I go back on my own,
00:49:33 either way, he's just gonna beat the shit out of me,
00:49:35 so it doesn't really make a difference.
00:49:37 What, literally?
00:49:41 Yeah.
00:49:44 Sad.
00:49:46 Yeah, it's sad.
00:49:48 Until he throws you across the room, it's sad.
00:49:51 I'm just afraid to live with him, and I'm afraid to live without--
00:49:54 You know, you didn't come to work to hear this stuff.
00:49:57 I'm really sorry.
00:49:58 It's okay.
00:49:59 It means that.
00:50:09 I'm just surprised.
00:50:11 You know, I thought everything was okay.
00:50:13 I figured you got a nice car, you got a nice house,
00:50:15 you got some money, everything's okay.
00:50:17 It should be.
00:50:19 But it's not.
00:50:21 It's twisted and it's distorted and it can't be changed,
00:50:24 and it cannot be saved.
00:50:32 I'll go with you.
00:50:39 Really?
00:50:42 Yeah.
00:50:45 We have to get a car.
00:50:49 Let's get through the night first.
00:50:51 I have money.
00:50:53 How much?
00:50:54 $52,000.
00:50:58 On you.
00:51:01 Get my purse.
00:51:05 Thank you.
00:51:16 Nice.
00:51:17 $52,000.
00:51:18 Wow.
00:51:20 I've never seen so much money in my life.
00:51:23 That's more than my house costs.
00:51:26 Jim, now that I'm spending the night,
00:51:30 can I pay you back for being so cold to you in high school?
00:51:37 Do you need an answer right away?
00:51:39 No.
00:51:41 Sometime before the sun comes up.
00:51:46 Well, uh, you're probably not going to remember this,
00:51:51 but, uh, there was a homecoming dance our sophomore year.
00:51:56 Mm-hmm.
00:51:57 Do you remember Mrs. Noble?
00:52:00 Large, hairy gym teacher, suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge.
00:52:04 I had her for two years.
00:52:06 Well, she made everybody switch partners
00:52:07 because all the fat girls were dancing together
00:52:09 and all the doinks, myself included,
00:52:11 were standing against the wall blowing spit bubbles.
00:52:13 Right.
00:52:14 Well, for, uh, three quarters of one verse of a slow song,
00:52:21 we danced together.
00:52:24 You reeked of stridex.
00:52:27 Oh, no, that was Larry Fry.
00:52:30 I'm sorry.
00:52:32 I don't remember.
00:52:36 You got your hair caught in my braces.
00:52:38 I don't remember.
00:52:40 Well, it's not important.
00:52:44 I had-- well, I just always dreamed of finishing that dance.
00:52:53 Okay.
00:52:57 Oh, don't-- don't feel you have to answer right away.
00:53:00 I mean, it's just this small portion of my life that's incomplete.
00:53:04 I thought you were going to say something different.
00:53:13 Well, first things first.
00:53:18 [music]
00:53:34 When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
00:53:42 when the road you're trotting seems all uphill,
00:53:50 when the funds are low and the debts are high
00:53:58 and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
00:54:07 when care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must,
00:54:21 but don't you regret.
00:54:26 Oh, no, don't you regret.
00:54:34 Oh, no.
00:54:52 But you never can tell how close you are.
00:55:00 It may be near when it seems so far.
00:55:07 [music]
00:55:14 [radio chatter]
00:55:17 [laughter]
00:55:23 [music]
00:55:42 [knocking]
00:55:44 [screaming]
00:55:49 Ow.
00:55:51 [knocking]
00:55:56 [crashing]
00:56:04 [radio chatter]
00:56:09 [knocking]
00:56:16 [crickets chirping]
00:56:22 Officer Don.
00:56:24 Oh, you scared the crap out of me.
00:56:26 I thought it was the custodian.
00:56:28 Jim, what are you doing in there?
00:56:30 I work here now.
00:56:35 [squeaking]
00:56:37 Well, you want to let me in?
00:56:39 I'd love to let you in.
00:56:41 I don't have the keys.
00:56:43 I'm locked in here until 7 a.m.
00:56:45 What's going on?
00:56:47 Have you seen Josie McClellan?
00:56:50 Of course.
00:56:52 Uh, dark hair, green eyes, beautiful.
00:56:57 Oh, yeah, of course.
00:56:59 You seen her recently?
00:57:01 Oh, uh, matter of fact, I just saw her yesterday, yeah.
00:57:05 We had a cup of java together.
00:57:07 She come into the store?
00:57:09 Oh, I don't know.
00:57:11 I only work nights.
00:57:12 Why?
00:57:13 Well, she's missing.
00:57:17 Now, I was looking around this side of town for her,
00:57:20 and I come past, and I seen that the outside sign's on.
00:57:24 The outside sign's never on.
00:57:27 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:57:29 Did you try the library?
00:57:31 'Cause, you know, maybe she fell asleep reading.
00:57:34 No.
00:57:36 She's probably just screwing somebody
00:57:38 the old man don't approve of.
00:57:42 [laughing]
00:57:45 Would you know that if the custodian comes by
00:57:48 to check up on people?
00:57:50 Oh, no, I wouldn't think he'd do that, Jimmy.
00:57:54 I feel pretty good now.
00:57:56 [laughing]
00:57:58 I'm sorry, sir.
00:58:07 I had to practice a little therapy.
00:58:10 Boy's in his own world.
00:58:13 [music playing]
00:58:17 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:20 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:23 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:27 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:31 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:34 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:37 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:40 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:43 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:46 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:49 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:52 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:55 [music - "good looks"]
00:58:58 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:01 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:04 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:07 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:10 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:13 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:16 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:19 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:22 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:25 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:28 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:31 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:34 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:37 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:40 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:43 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:46 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:49 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:52 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:55 [music - "good looks"]
00:59:58 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:01 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:04 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:07 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:10 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:13 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:16 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:19 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:22 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:25 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:28 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:31 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:34 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:37 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:40 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:43 [music - "good looks"]
01:00:46 The bench.
01:00:46 Do you want to get on top?
01:00:51 You check the office. I'll scope the dressing room.
01:01:02 Great.
01:01:02 You're on top.
01:01:14 Did you want to be on top?
01:01:16 Oh, no.
01:01:17 No, no. I'm just fine right where I am.
01:01:20 Sure.
01:01:21 I'm on top.
01:01:22 I am.
01:01:23 Sure.
01:01:25 [heavy breathing]
01:01:28 [heavy breathing]
01:01:30 [music]
01:01:32 [music]
01:01:35 [music]
01:01:37 [music]
01:01:39 [music]
01:01:41 [music]
01:01:43 [music]
01:01:45 [music]
01:01:47 [music]
01:01:49 [music]
01:01:51 [music]
01:01:53 [music]
01:01:55 [music]
01:01:57 How? How? How?
01:02:00 [music]
01:02:02 I think he went to the back.
01:02:04 [music]
01:02:06 [music]
01:02:08 [music]
01:02:10 [music]
01:02:12 [music]
01:02:14 [music]
01:02:15 [gasp]
01:02:16 Ebo!
01:02:17 Nice.
01:02:22 Excellent.
01:02:24 Hey.
01:02:26 You got a tattoo?
01:02:28 No, sir.
01:02:32 Hey, not you, asshole.
01:02:33 I'm a missing person.
01:02:35 The whole town is looking for me.
01:02:37 What, are you hiding now?
01:02:39 Yes.
01:02:40 And I would appreciate it if you would let us sit down.
01:02:43 What about the tattoo?
01:02:45 I don't have one.
01:02:47 Ha. You owe me a buck.
01:02:49 Actually, it's a tattoo now. I borrowed that one after yesterday at Burger King.
01:02:52 Burger?
01:02:53 Yeah, well, I was gonna get the--
01:02:54 Excuse me.
01:02:55 Are you planning to shoot us in the back of the head?
01:02:59 We haven't decided yet, have we?
01:03:04 Who are you?
01:03:05 Uh...
01:03:06 You don't want to know.
01:03:08 They wouldn't have asked you if you didn't want to know, butt-head.
01:03:10 He's a little crazy. He's my brother. He's not quite right.
01:03:13 That's not true.
01:03:14 She doesn't even know me.
01:03:16 Somebody better start talking straight, you--
01:03:18 This is the truth.
01:03:19 Okay.
01:03:21 You want to know?
01:03:25 [music]
01:03:27 Mm-hmm.
01:03:28 Okay, good.
01:03:29 Uh, but, uh...
01:03:32 Come on over here.
01:03:33 What?
01:03:36 Come on over.
01:03:37 Come on over here.
01:03:38 Over here.
01:03:39 Come on over here.
01:03:59 [music]
01:04:01 That's right. Down here. Down here.
01:04:03 Mm-hmm.
01:04:04 Okay.
01:04:07 You dumb sons of bitches.
01:04:11 Do you realize that you have just walked straight into a $60 million drug transaction?
01:04:19 So, you're running this multi-zillion dollar drug transaction by yourself?
01:04:26 Little target boy.
01:04:28 No.
01:04:30 No, I'm not doing it by myself.
01:04:33 I'm not.
01:04:34 No.
01:04:35 As a matter of fact,
01:04:37 in about ten minutes,
01:04:40 this place is going to be alive with the meanest, ugliest, most impatient animals you guys have ever seen.
01:04:47 So, I'll tell you what.
01:04:49 I'll give you five minutes to take whatever you want in the whole store, anything you want,
01:04:53 and just go. I won't tell. Just go. Just take your guns and go. Scoot.
01:04:57 Okay, then. Who's the girl?
01:04:59 I'm his hostage.
01:05:03 Yes. Yes. Yes.
01:05:05 Is that true?
01:05:06 Yes.
01:05:09 Yes, it's true.
01:05:11 And, um...
01:05:12 If the deal doesn't go down,
01:05:17 she becomes pig feed.
01:05:20 Bullshit.
01:05:22 Oh, really?
01:05:23 We'll blow her away.
01:05:27 Come on, that's bullshit.
01:05:29 Okay.
01:05:32 Then give me your guns,
01:05:35 and I'll do it for you.
01:05:37 It's bullshit, right?
01:05:39 We'll see.
01:05:42 Roll over.
01:05:46 Yeah. Yeah, come on, you heard him.
01:05:48 What?
01:05:49 Roll over. That's right. You too, honey. You heard me. Roll over.
01:05:52 Come on, do it. Come on, come on, come on. Roll, roll.
01:05:54 That's it. Very good.
01:05:56 Mmm. Yeah.
01:05:59 Um...
01:06:01 Give me the guns.
01:06:03 No way, man. Uh-uh.
01:06:06 Fine. Fine. You do it. I don't need them anymore anyway.
01:06:09 I only need you to get the customs.
01:06:13 I don't like this.
01:06:14 This sucks. It's not worth it.
01:06:16 Come on, we don't have much time. Do it.
01:06:18 All right.
01:06:19 All right.
01:06:20 It's nothing personal.
01:06:25 Jim!
01:06:26 It's too late. They're here.
01:06:27 Where is he?
01:06:28 Come on, they're here. It's too late. It's too late. They're here.
01:06:30 Now, Ned, hold your fire. Hold your fire. Hold your fire.
01:06:33 Ed and Hausner, hold your fire.
01:06:34 Tommy and Sporting Goods, hold your fire.
01:06:36 Ned, hold your fire.
01:06:37 There are infrared scopes trained on your head.
01:06:40 We didn't want this. We didn't want this.
01:06:42 The girl you want, not us!
01:06:43 Just relax. Okay, Ned, we got a WD-40.
01:06:45 That's right, a full-scale PMS.
01:06:47 Okay, everybody, just relax. Now, now.
01:06:49 Okay, everybody, everybody just relax.
01:06:51 Okay, the whole place is gonna blow.
01:06:53 Everybody, just relax.
01:06:54 Now, put down your guns. Put the guns down.
01:06:56 Ned, they're putting down the guns.
01:06:57 They're putting-- Are you putting them down?
01:06:58 They're putting them down.
01:06:59 Now get down, 'cause lives are at stake here.
01:07:01 Get down. Come on. Let go. Let go.
01:07:03 Get back. Get back.
01:07:05 Get back.
01:07:06 Spread 'em. Spread the legs.
01:07:08 Okay, put down the dogs.
01:07:09 Just spread 'em. Okay, okay.
01:07:11 Put the dogs down. Put the dogs down.
01:07:12 Put it down. Both of 'em.
01:07:13 The dogs. Down. Down.
01:07:16 That was great.
01:07:18 I got a big surprise for you guys.
01:07:20 We have a bit of a surprise for you, too.
01:07:23 Them guns aren't loaded.
01:07:26 I got an idea.
01:07:38 How about a truce?
01:07:40 I'm full of shit. You're full of shit.
01:07:43 I think everybody at one time in their life is full of shit.
01:07:46 I'll throw in a couple of corn dogs,
01:07:48 and we'll all get to know each other.
01:07:50 You'll get to know what goes on inside your heads.
01:07:52 Okay, you had the big one, and you had the--
01:07:55 No. Sorry.
01:07:57 I could have sworn you had the big one.
01:07:59 I lied.
01:08:04 These are the men that killed that guy in Saltburg.
01:08:12 I'm fairly sure that we're gonna die.
01:08:14 I just want to tell you how disappointed I am
01:08:16 that we're not gonna get to go to California together.
01:08:18 We're not dead yet.
01:08:20 Pretty darn close.
01:08:23 You know, if I can get them to take me with them,
01:08:26 maybe I can get away and then come back for you.
01:08:29 I mean, don't forget, we do need a car, and they obviously have one.
01:08:32 Just-- Just go along with whatever I do, okay?
01:08:37 Okay.
01:08:39 [chewing]
01:08:41 So what's the word on you two?
01:08:52 Are you married?
01:08:54 Obviously, you're a hat crook,
01:08:56 so she can't pull off a discount store job.
01:08:59 What were you planning to steal? A little hairspray?
01:09:04 [laughing]
01:09:07 Sorry.
01:09:09 Some lady, you got a job?
01:09:15 No.
01:09:18 Well, then don't knock ours.
01:09:20 Crime isn't a job, it's a sickness.
01:09:23 Whoops.
01:09:29 Anyone have some change?
01:09:31 [cash register bell ringing]
01:09:36 [cash register bell ringing]
01:09:38 You look like a lady in need of a quarter.
01:09:47 I think I might need more than just a quarter.
01:09:49 [laughing]
01:09:51 You know,
01:09:53 Yeah?
01:09:54 you and I can make a lot of money.
01:09:56 Hey, honey, me and Nestor, we're partners.
01:09:59 We don't need a third.
01:10:01 You don't know what you need, so why don't you just shut up?
01:10:05 How bummed.
01:10:07 Now.
01:10:26 Let's go now.
01:10:28 You know what you are?
01:10:31 Yeah.
01:10:32 You are one good-looking ball of trouble.
01:10:35 Good.
01:10:41 [rock music]
01:10:43 Go!
01:11:07 [rock music]
01:11:09 What do you think? For the car?
01:11:19 This one?
01:11:20 No, no, no. The whole thing.
01:11:22 We'll just lay it down in the back.
01:11:24 We got multi-set capabilities.
01:11:26 Think of the sound.
01:11:28 [rock music]
01:11:30 [rock music]
01:11:32 Let me just tell you, I'm not helping you load your car.
01:11:58 I think again, boy.
01:12:00 And you're not going to take the stolen merchandise out of the store.
01:12:03 No, no, I'm not gonna let you.
01:12:05 I'm not gonna let you get stolen, all of it.
01:12:08 Give me that. Give me that. No.
01:12:10 It's mine. Give it to me. It's mine.
01:12:12 Where is it?
01:12:18 Wait a minute.
01:12:20 You're not going with them.
01:12:24 Yeah.
01:12:26 You'll be an accessory.
01:12:28 So?
01:12:31 So? You don't know anything about them.
01:12:33 You certainly don't know anything about him.
01:12:35 These are hardened criminals here.
01:12:37 Okay, that's enough. That's enough!
01:12:39 Gil.
01:12:41 Don't waste your time. You could get a hernia.
01:12:45 You know, if my foot could talk...
01:12:47 Easy.
01:12:49 It would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?"
01:12:51 Forget him. Come on! Forget him.
01:12:53 He's not used to us. After all, the guy's built like an oyster.
01:12:56 Listen, little mister.
01:12:58 If you tell on us, I'll kill you.
01:13:03 Fine.
01:13:11 Jim!
01:13:17 Jim!
01:13:19 Don't be an ass.
01:13:28 Okay, Jimbo.
01:13:32 Let's go. Shall we?
01:13:38 [♪♪♪]
01:14:06 Come on, come on, come on. Come on.
01:14:08 Oh, okay.
01:14:25 Okay. Okay. I got it.
01:14:27 I got it. I got it. I got it.
01:14:29 [tires screeching]
01:14:35 [gunshots]
01:14:38 [gunshots]
01:14:41 [gunshots]
01:14:44 [♪♪♪]
01:14:47 [♪♪♪]
01:14:50 [♪♪♪]
01:14:52 [gunshot]
01:15:18 [gun cocks]
01:15:20 [gunshot]
01:15:22 [♪♪♪]
01:15:24 [♪♪♪]
01:15:31 [♪♪♪]
01:15:33 That wasn't a store robbery.
01:15:54 That was an assassination.
01:15:56 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy.
01:15:59 How do I know?
01:16:01 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit.
01:16:04 I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable
01:16:07 of the seedy and rancorous workings of a mob
01:16:09 in the Midwest section of this country.
01:16:11 Let me just say, I know a gangland slang when I see one,
01:16:14 and that's exactly what this baby is.
01:16:16 I look into myself personally,
01:16:19 but, uh, I got a date tonight.
01:16:22 [♪♪♪]
01:16:25 [♪♪♪]
01:16:27 Attention target shoppers.
01:16:33 [gasps]
01:16:35 [gunshots]
01:16:37 [♪♪♪]
01:16:45 [moaning]
01:16:49 [♪♪♪]
01:16:52 [♪♪♪]
01:16:55 [♪♪♪]
01:16:57 Damn!
01:17:23 [♪♪♪]
01:17:52 [♪♪♪]
01:17:54 He is so cool.
01:18:19 [♪♪♪]
01:18:22 [♪♪♪]
01:18:50 [♪♪♪]
01:18:53 [♪♪♪]
01:18:56 [♪♪♪]
01:18:59 [♪♪♪]
01:19:02 [♪♪♪]
01:19:05 [♪♪♪]
01:19:07 [♪♪♪]
01:19:17 [♪♪♪]
01:19:27 [♪♪♪]
01:19:29 [♪♪♪]
01:19:40 [♪♪♪]
01:19:43 [♪♪♪]
01:19:45 [♪♪♪]
01:19:55 [♪♪♪]
01:20:05 [♪♪♪]
01:20:07 [♪♪♪]
01:20:17 [♪♪♪]
01:20:24 [♪♪♪]
01:20:26 [♪♪♪]
01:20:36 [♪♪♪]
01:20:51 [♪♪♪]
01:20:53 [♪♪♪]
01:21:03 [♪♪♪]
01:21:14 [♪♪♪]
01:21:16 [♪♪♪]
01:21:26 [♪♪♪]
01:21:35 [♪♪♪]
01:21:42 [♪♪♪]
01:21:44 [♪♪♪]
01:21:54 [♪♪♪]
01:22:05 [♪♪♪]
01:22:07 [♪♪♪]
01:22:17 [♪♪♪]
01:22:28 [♪♪♪]
01:22:30 [♪♪♪]
01:22:38 [♪♪♪]
01:22:45 [♪♪♪]
01:22:47 [♪♪♪]
01:22:49 [BLANK_AUDIO]