Carnage is a 2011 black comedy film directed by Roman Polanski, based on the Tony Award-winning 2006 play Le Dieu du carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza. The screenplay is by Reza and Polanski. The film is an international co-production of France, Germany, Poland, and Spain. It stars Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz, and John C. Reilly. In this comedy of errors, two sets of parents try to resolve a situation in a civilised manner as their idiosyncrasies rise to the surface.
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00:02:30 >> January 11th at 2.30 PM.
00:02:38 >> You'll do your statement separately, this one's ours.
00:02:40 >> Following a verbal dispute in Brooklyn Bridge Park,
00:02:45 Zachary Cowan, age 11, and armed with a stick,
00:02:49 struck our son, Ethan Longstreet, in the face.
00:02:55 In addition to the swelling and bruising of Ethan's upper lip,
00:02:59 this act also resulted in two broken incisors,
00:03:03 including nerve damage to the right incisor.
00:03:07 >> Armed?
00:03:09 >> Armed, but you don't like armed?
00:03:12 >> Michael, what can we say?
00:03:13 >> Carrying, holding, carrying a stick, all right?
00:03:16 >> Carrying, yeah.
00:03:17 >> Carrying a stick.
00:03:18 >> Carrying.
00:03:19 It's ironic.
00:03:23 I always thought Brooklyn Bridge Park was so safe.
00:03:25 Compared to Hillside.
00:03:27 >> True, we always said Brooklyn Bridge Park fine, Hillside no way.
00:03:30 >> Mm-hm.
00:03:30 >> Just goes to show you.
00:03:32 >> Hey, thank you so much for coming.
00:03:36 It's so much better than getting caught up in that adversarial mindset.
00:03:42 >> Well, we thank you, really.
00:03:44 Well, I don't think there's any reason for us to thank each other.
00:03:47 Luckily, some of us still have a sense of community, right?
00:03:51 >> Some of the kids haven't got that notion straight yet.
00:03:53 >> What?
00:03:54 >> I mean, our kid.
00:03:56 >> Right, our kid.
00:03:58 >> Yeah.
00:03:58 >> Thank you.
00:04:03 Those tulips are gorgeous.
00:04:07 It's the florist up by Henry, you know the one all the way up?
00:04:10 >> Right.
00:04:11 >> Yeah, they fly the bulbs right in from Holland, $20 for a whole bunch.
00:04:16 >> That a fact?
00:04:17 >> Yeah.
00:04:17 >> Do you know it all the way up?
00:04:19 >> Right, right.
00:04:20 >> So what about the tooth with the damaged nerve?
00:04:25 >> Well, we don't know yet.
00:04:27 There's some question about the prognosis.
00:04:29 Apparently, well, apparently the nerve is not completely exposed.
00:04:34 >> Only part of it is exposed.
00:04:35 >> There's a part that's exposed and then there's a part that's still protected.
00:04:40 >> So for now, they're not gonna devitalize it.
00:04:42 >> They wanna give the tooth a chance.
00:04:43 >> Yeah. >> It's so left to avoid a root canal.
00:04:46 >> Of course.
00:04:47 >> There's an observation period while they give the nerve a chance to heal.
00:04:50 >> Meantime, it's gonna need caps.
00:04:51 >> You can't have implants till you're 18 anyway.
00:04:53 >> You can't.
00:04:54 >> Yeah, so they can only do implants once they're done growing.
00:04:57 >> Naturally.
00:04:59 >> Well, we hope it all turns out all right.
00:05:02 >> One can only hope.
00:05:03 >> Listen, he didn't wanna tell Aunt Zachary.
00:05:09 >> No, he didn't wanna tell.
00:05:11 >> It was incredible to see this child with no face left, no teeth.
00:05:17 He just wouldn't talk.
00:05:20 >> I can just imagine.
00:05:21 >> Well, he didn't wanna tell on the kid.
00:05:23 Like his friends would say, he's a snitch.
00:05:24 I mean, let's face it, Penny, it wasn't just a sense of honor.
00:05:27 >> Well, you could say that.
00:05:28 I mean, honor requires a social context.
00:05:31 >> So how did you finally get Zachary's name?
00:05:32 >> Because we explained to Ethan that protecting this child was not gonna help.
00:05:39 >> Yeah, we told him if this kid thinks he can get away with hitting,
00:05:42 people watch the stop.
00:05:43 >> And we told him that if we were this child's parents,
00:05:45 well, we would wanna know about this.
00:05:47 >> Of course.
00:05:47 >> Yeah, excuse me one second.
00:05:49 Yes, Walter.
00:05:51 Well, thanks for getting back to me.
00:05:52 It's in this morning's journal.
00:05:55 I'll read it to you.
00:05:56 According to a study published by British journal Lancet,
00:06:00 two Australian researchers have identified neurological side effects of TW
00:06:05 pharmacist anti-hypertension medication,
00:06:07 antral, including impaired hearing and ataxia.
00:06:10 >> Well, who the hell does the press monitoring over there?
00:06:14 >> Yeah, you're in deep shit.
00:06:17 >> No, no, my problem is the ASM.
00:06:21 You got an annual stockholders meeting in two weeks.
00:06:24 Did you schedule a contingency for litigation?
00:06:26 >> Walter.
00:06:30 Walter.
00:06:31 Talk to PR, find out if it was picked up anywhere else, and call me back.
00:06:35 >> Okay.
00:06:35 >> Sorry. >> So you're like an attorney.
00:06:40 >> And yourself?
00:06:42 >> Houseware supply.
00:06:43 Penny's a writer.
00:06:45 She works part time in a bookstore, mostly art books and history books.
00:06:48 >> A writer?
00:06:50 Well, I co-wrote a volume on Sabine civilization,
00:06:53 working with artifacts that were retrieved after the Ethiopia-Eritrea conflict.
00:06:57 But right now I'm working on a book about the Darfur tragedy.
00:07:01 >> You specialize in Africa?
00:07:04 >> I'm interested in that part of the world, yes.
00:07:06 >> And do you have any other children?
00:07:08 >> There's Courtney, she's nine.
00:07:10 She's very angry with her father right now because he got rid of the hamster last night.
00:07:14 >> You got rid of the hamster?
00:07:17 >> Yeah.
00:07:18 I think it was making such a racket at night.
00:07:21 They sleep during the day.
00:07:22 It's driving Ethan crazy.
00:07:25 So, you know, he couldn't take the racket that thing was making.
00:07:27 Look, I don't mind telling you, I've been wanting to get rid of the thing for
00:07:32 the longest time.
00:07:32 So finally I said, that's it.
00:07:35 Took it out, left it on the street.
00:07:37 >> You left it on the street?
00:07:38 >> I figured it was a gutter sewer kind of animal, but
00:07:40 the thing was scared out of its wits out there in the sidewalk.
00:07:43 And the truth is, they're not pets.
00:07:45 And they're not wild.
00:07:46 You drop them in the middle of the forest, they're still not happy.
00:07:48 I don't know where you're supposed to put them.
00:07:50 >> You just left them outside?
00:07:52 >> Yeah, he did.
00:07:54 >> And he tried to convince Courtney that the hamster ran away,
00:07:56 which of course she was not buying.
00:07:59 >> This morning the hamster was gone.
00:08:01 >> Gone.
00:08:02 >> What about you?
00:08:03 What do you do for a living?
00:08:04 >> I'm an investment broker.
00:08:07 >> I'm just gonna ask this directly.
00:08:13 Could Zachary apologize to Ethan?
00:08:16 >> Sure, it would be good if they talked.
00:08:19 >> He's got to apologize, Alan.
00:08:22 He has to actually say he's sorry.
00:08:24 >> Yeah, probably.
00:08:25 >> Well, is he sorry?
00:08:26 >> He doesn't realize how serious it was.
00:08:28 He's 11 years old.
00:08:30 >> 11's not a baby.
00:08:32 >> Well, it's not an adult either.
00:08:34 You know, we forgot to ask you guys, you want some coffee or tea?
00:08:37 Is there any of that cobbler left, Penny?
00:08:38 She makes a mean cobbler.
00:08:39 >> What?
00:08:41 >> You got espresso?
00:08:42 >> We do.
00:08:43 >> I wouldn't mind a cup.
00:08:45 >> Glass of water?
00:08:46 >> Yeah, I'll take an espresso too, babe, and bring the cobbler.
00:08:48 Here, come on in, come on in.
00:08:49 Please, please, have a seat.
00:08:56 Have a seat.
00:08:57 Didn't mean to rush you out.
00:08:58 Here, here.
00:08:59 >> Thank you.
00:09:02 >> Yeah.
00:09:02 >> Yeah.
00:09:03 >> You gotta taste this cobbler.
00:09:11 >> Where's the cobbler?
00:09:14 >> She put the cobbler in the fridge again.
00:09:24 I don't know what language I'm supposed to speak to that woman in.
00:09:27 Nice couple.
00:09:28 >> Very.
00:09:30 >> They're nice, right?
00:09:33 >> Did you tell everybody I'm a writer?
00:09:37 >> You are a writer.
00:09:37 You wrote a book.
00:09:38 Good cobbler is not easy to make.
00:09:45 What do you sell?
00:09:49 Decorative hardware, door locks, handles, copper fittings, and
00:09:54 kitchen equipment, pots and pans.
00:09:57 >> Is that a good living?
00:10:01 >> You know, it's not like you had any banner years or anything.
00:10:04 It was tough starting out, but as long as I'm out there every morning with my sample
00:10:08 case and my catalog, it's a living.
00:10:10 Although the cast iron roasting pans do pick up around the holidays.
00:10:15 >> Yeah.
00:10:16 >> When you saw that a hamster was terrified, why didn't you bring it home?
00:10:20 >> Because I don't touch those things.
00:10:23 >> You put it on the sidewalk.
00:10:25 >> I was in a cage, so I flipped it on its side.
00:10:27 There's no way I'm touching those things.
00:10:29 >> Sugar?
00:10:30 >> No, no sugar.
00:10:32 >> So what kind of cobbler do you make?
00:10:34 >> Apple and pear.
00:10:36 >> Apple and pear.
00:10:37 >> Yeah, it's a little recipe of mine, but it's a shame, it's cold.
00:10:42 >> Apple and pear, that's new to me.
00:10:46 >> Apple and pear is a classic.
00:10:47 Of course, it has a twist to it.
00:10:50 >> Really?
00:10:50 >> Well, you have to cut the pears thicker than the apples because they cook faster.
00:10:55 >> Right.
00:10:56 >> She's not telling you the real secret.
00:10:58 >> Let him taste it.
00:11:00 >> Very good, very good.
00:11:01 >> Delicious.
00:11:04 Gingerbread crumbs.
00:11:05 My God.
00:11:07 >> Well, it's really just a souped up old school recipe.
00:11:11 His mother gave me the idea.
00:11:12 >> Gingerbread, fantastic.
00:11:14 At least we get a new recipe out of this, right?
00:11:18 >> I wish my son didn't have to lose two teeth in the process.
00:11:22 >> Right, that's what I meant.
00:11:24 >> Do you have a novel way of expressing it?
00:11:26 >> No, hey, excuse me.
00:11:27 Yeah, Walter.
00:11:30 >> No, no, no letters to the editor.
00:11:36 We just fanned the flames.
00:11:40 >> What was it scheduled?
00:11:43 >> Yeah.
00:11:44 >> What are these disorders anyway?
00:11:48 What was the tax here?
00:11:53 >> Any normal doses?
00:11:54 >> No.
00:11:57 >> How long have you known this?
00:11:58 >> I know that time you haven't recalled it.
00:12:01 What are we talking about in revenues?
00:12:05 I see.
00:12:08 Okay.
00:12:11 >> Al, we're all waiting for you.
00:12:17 >> Yeah, right.
00:12:19 One second.
00:12:19 >> Dennis?
00:12:22 >> They've known about the risk for two and a half years.
00:12:26 >> Jesus.
00:12:27 >> Yeah.
00:12:28 >> An internal report.
00:12:31 But the undesirable side effects are not established.
00:12:35 >> No precautionary measures.
00:12:38 They didn't schedule a reserve, nothing in the annual report.
00:12:40 >> I can't believe it.
00:12:41 What are the symptoms?
00:12:42 >> Lack of balance, jerky gait.
00:12:46 The work is basically you look like you're drunk.
00:12:48 >> Roughly half a billion in revenues.
00:12:55 You're there?
00:12:58 >> Yeah, yeah, we'll wait for you guys when you're done.
00:13:01 >> I don't deny.
00:13:01 >> Of course.
00:13:03 >> That dumb shit wanted us to write a letter to the editor.
00:13:06 No way for writing a letter.
00:13:08 On the other hand, if we see this is getting picked up, we could do a press release.
00:13:12 Like somebody spreading false rumors to wicks out from the SM kind of thing.
00:13:18 >> No, he's calling me back.
00:13:20 >> All right, I'll talk to you later.
00:13:21 I'll go get my shit.
00:13:22 >> Okay.
00:13:23 I've been so busy I hardly had time for lunch.
00:13:29 >> Help yourself.
00:13:30 Help yourself.
00:13:31 Here.
00:13:32 >> Yeah.
00:13:34 >> Here.
00:13:35 >> Thanks.
00:13:35 >> No, no, go on.
00:13:37 >> I know I have no manners.
00:13:40 Where were we?
00:13:42 >> Well, we were saying it would have been so much nicer if we'd met some other way.
00:13:47 >> Right, there's a cobbler, right?
00:13:48 So your mother, huh?
00:13:49 >> His mother.
00:13:50 >> It's my mother's recipe, Penn made it.
00:13:52 >> No, your mother doesn't use apples and pears.
00:13:55 >> Nope.
00:13:56 >> She's about to have an operation, poor thing.
00:13:59 >> Really, what for?
00:14:00 >> Her knee. >> She's gonna get polyethylene and
00:14:03 metallic prosthesis.
00:14:05 And she's all worried about what's gonna be left of it after the cremation.
00:14:09 >> Michael, don't be mean.
00:14:11 >> She doesn't wanna be buried next to my father.
00:14:12 She wants to be cremated and
00:14:14 put upstate next to her mother who's all alone, you know?
00:14:17 Couple of urns jabbering away on the shores of Lake Sebago.
00:14:20 [LAUGH]
00:14:25 >> We're very touched by how generous you're being.
00:14:28 We realize how you're trying to smooth things out here instead of
00:14:32 making them worse.
00:14:34 Please, it's the least we can do.
00:14:36 >> Yeah.
00:14:36 >> Come on, so many parents just take their kids' side,
00:14:42 acting like children themselves.
00:14:44 If Ethan had broken two of Zachary's teeth, I'm thinking Alan and
00:14:48 I might have had more of a knee jerk reaction.
00:14:49 I'm not sure we would see the big picture.
00:14:52 >> Sure you would.
00:14:53 >> She's right, I'm not so sure.
00:14:55 >> You would, because we all know this could have happened the other way around.
00:14:58 >> What does Zachary say about this?
00:15:02 How is he experiencing it?
00:15:04 >> He doesn't talk much, a little overwhelmed, I guess.
00:15:07 >> But he realizes that he disfigured his schoolmate.
00:15:10 >> No, no, he doesn't realize that he disfigured his schoolmate.
00:15:15 >> Why do you say that?
00:15:16 Of course Zachary realizes.
00:15:18 >> Well, he realizes that this violent behavior is unacceptable,
00:15:21 not that he disfigured his schoolmate.
00:15:23 >> You don't like the word, but I'm afraid the word is appropriate.
00:15:26 >> My son did not disfigure your son.
00:15:28 >> Your son disfigured our son.
00:15:30 Come back after school, look at his mouth, look at his teeth.
00:15:32 >> Momentarily disfigured.
00:15:34 >> Look, his mouth will be fine when the swelling goes down.
00:15:36 As for the teeth, if he needs it,
00:15:37 we'd be willing to chip in for the best dental care.
00:15:40 >> We got insurance for that.
00:15:41 Look, what we want is for the boys to patch it up.
00:15:43 Make sure nothing like this ever happens again.
00:15:46 >> Let's set up a meeting.
00:15:47 >> Yeah, exactly.
00:15:48 >> Should we be there?
00:15:50 >> They don't need coaching.
00:15:51 Let them work it out like men.
00:15:52 >> Like men, Alan, don't be ridiculous.
00:15:55 On the other hand, maybe we don't need to be there.
00:15:56 I mean, maybe it's better if we weren't there, right?
00:15:59 The issue is not whether we're there or whether we're not there.
00:16:02 The issue is, do they want to talk about this?
00:16:05 Do they want to work this out?
00:16:06 >> Ethan does.
00:16:07 >> Does Zachary?
00:16:08 >> We won't give him a choice.
00:16:09 >> Well, it has to come from him.
00:16:11 >> Zachary acts like a thug.
00:16:12 We're not going to wait around for him to see the light.
00:16:15 >> Well, if Zachary sees Ethan in a punitive context
00:16:18 because he's forced to, I really,
00:16:21 I just don't see anything positive coming out of that.
00:16:23 >> Mrs. Longstreet, our son is a maniac.
00:16:26 If you hope he'll suddenly and spontaneously get all apologetic,
00:16:29 you're dreaming.
00:16:30 Look, I'm sorry.
00:16:31 I really do have to get back to the office.
00:16:33 Nancy, you'll stay.
00:16:34 You'll let me know what was decided.
00:16:36 I'm no use to anyone anyway.
00:16:38 Women always think you need the man, you need the father,
00:16:40 like it would do any good.
00:16:42 >> Look, I'm really sorry, but I can't stay either.
00:16:45 My husband has never been much of an
00:16:46 I'll push the stroller type daddy.
00:16:48 >> Well, it's too bad it goes by so fast.
00:16:51 >> Michael, you love taking care of the kids.
00:16:53 You know, he had a ball pushing that stroller.
00:16:54 >> Yeah, sure.
00:16:56 >> So, what do we decide?
00:16:58 Oh, could you come over to our place at about 730 with Ethan?
00:17:03 >> 730, all right.
00:17:05 >> Well, if you want my opinion.
00:17:07 >> Yes, please.
00:17:08 >> I think Zachary should come over here.
00:17:10 >> Yeah, I agree.
00:17:12 >> The victim shouldn't be the one who makes the trip.
00:17:13 >> Yeah, that's right.
00:17:14 >> Well, I can't be anywhere at 730.
00:17:17 >> Who needs you?
00:17:18 You're useless, right?
00:17:20 Seriously, I think it's important for his father to come.
00:17:23 >> Not tonight.
00:17:24 Hello?
00:17:25 >> Tomorrow?
00:17:27 >> I'm sorry.
00:17:28 Can you hear me now?
00:17:30 >> There's not a word in the annual report,
00:17:35 but the risk was unofficially established.
00:17:38 There's no proof.
00:17:40 >> Yeah, have him call me back.
00:17:42 >> Tomorrow?
00:17:44 >> Tomorrow, I'm in Washington.
00:17:46 >> You got business in Washington?
00:17:47 >> The Pentagon.
00:17:49 >> Look, the main thing is to get the kids to talk.
00:17:51 So, I'll come over to your place at 730 with Zachary,
00:17:54 and we'll just let them talk it through.
00:17:57 >> What? You don't seem convinced.
00:17:59 >> If Zachary hasn't acquired any accountability skills,
00:18:03 they'll just glare at each other and it'll be a disaster.
00:18:05 >> Accountability skills, Mrs. Lofstreet?
00:18:07 What are you talking about?
00:18:08 >> I'm sure your son is not a maniac.
00:18:11 Zachary is not a maniac.
00:18:13 >> Yes, he is.
00:18:14 >> Alan, don't be an idiot.
00:18:16 Why are you saying that?
00:18:17 >> He's a maniac.
00:18:18 >> How does he explain what he did?
00:18:19 >> He won't talk about it.
00:18:21 >> Well, he should.
00:18:21 He should talk about it.
00:18:22 >> Well, that's a lot of shoulds, Mrs. Lofstreet.
00:18:24 He should come here.
00:18:25 He should talk about it.
00:18:26 He should feel sorry.
00:18:27 I'm sure you're much more involved than we are.
00:18:29 We're trying to get up to speed, but in the meantime,
00:18:31 try to indulge us.
00:18:32 >> Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.
00:18:35 Come on.
00:18:36 What happened here?
00:18:37 This isn't what we're all about.
00:18:38 >> I was talking about Zachary, not him.
00:18:41 >> Not that, right.
00:18:42 >> Alan.
00:18:44 >> You want some more coffee?
00:18:46 Some real coffee?
00:18:48 >> Coffee.
00:18:49 Thank you.
00:18:53 >> Coffee, all right.
00:18:55 It's okay, Penna.
00:18:56 I'll get it.
00:18:58 [DOG BARKING]
00:19:00 [DOOR OPENING]
00:19:03 [DOG BARKING]
00:19:05 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:19:07 [FOOTSTEPS]
00:19:36 >> I see you're an art enthusiast.
00:19:39 >> Yes.
00:19:41 >> Bacon?
00:19:44 >> Yes, bacon.
00:20:04 >> Cruelty and splendor.
00:20:07 Chaos, balance.
00:20:09 >> Is Zachary interested in art?
00:20:15 >> Not as much as he should be.
00:20:16 Your children are?
00:20:18 >> Well, we try to make up for what's lacking in the school curriculum.
00:20:21 >> Right.
00:20:23 >> We try to take them to concerts and to galleries.
00:20:25 Really, we really believe that culture can be such a powerful force for peace.
00:20:31 >> You're so right.
00:20:31 >> Is cobbler cake or pie?
00:20:34 This is an important question.
00:20:35 I was in the kitchen.
00:20:36 I was thinking, why should pizza be a pie?
00:20:39 Oh, here, here, here.
00:20:40 Don't leave this miserable little piece.
00:20:42 Go ahead, go ahead.
00:20:43 Here, go on.
00:20:44 You have that.
00:20:46 >> Cobbler's a cake.
00:20:47 There's no crust on the bottom.
00:20:48 Can't be a pie.
00:20:49 >> You're a gourmet chef.
00:20:51 >> I like to cook.
00:20:52 Of course, it's something you have to do out of love, or not at all.
00:20:56 The way I see it, if there's no crust on the bottom, it's not a pie.
00:21:00 >> So how about you guys?
00:21:02 You have other kids?
00:21:03 >> I have another son by a former marriage.
00:21:06 >> You know, I was wondering, and I know this is not important, but
00:21:13 do you know what they were arguing about?
00:21:16 Cuz Ethan won't say a word.
00:21:17 >> Ethan wouldn't let Zachary be a part of his gang.
00:21:20 >> Ethan has a gang?
00:21:21 >> And he called him a snitch.
00:21:23 >> Did you know that Ethan had a gang?
00:21:24 >> [LAUGH] No, but I'm thrilled to hear it.
00:21:27 [LAUGH] >> Why are you thrilled?
00:21:30 >> Cuz I had one.
00:21:31 I was the leader.
00:21:31 >> So was I.
00:21:32 >> What does the leader of a gang do?
00:21:34 >> You know, you got five or six guys who like you,
00:21:37 who are willing to sacrifice themselves for you, like an Ivanhoe.
00:21:41 >> Exactly, like an Ivanhoe.
00:21:43 >> Who even knows about Ivanhoe anymore?
00:21:45 >> Some other role model, like Spider-Man or whoever.
00:21:48 >> Apparently, you know more about this than we do.
00:21:51 I guess Zachary wasn't quite as silent as you first said.
00:21:54 So why did he call him a snitch?
00:21:58 >> Forget it, it's a silly question, right?
00:22:01 Well, what's the point?
00:22:02 We don't care.
00:22:03 We're not going to get into these children's quarrels.
00:22:05 >> It's none of our business.
00:22:06 >> Right.
00:22:07 >> What is our business is this unfortunate incident.
00:22:09 And violence is our business.
00:22:11 >> When I was the leader, I beat up Jimmy Leach in a fair fight, and
00:22:16 he was bigger than me.
00:22:17 [LAUGH] >> What does that have to do with anything,
00:22:19 Michael?
00:22:20 >> No, nothing.
00:22:22 >> I mean, this isn't a fair fight.
00:22:23 These boys weren't fighting.
00:22:25 >> Right, I was just remembering something.
00:22:27 >> It's not very different.
00:22:29 >> Excuse me, I'm sorry, there's a difference.
00:22:31 >> There is a difference.
00:22:33 >> What's the difference?
00:22:34 >> Me and Jimmy Leach agreed to fight.
00:22:36 >> Did you mess him up?
00:22:37 >> A little.
00:22:39 >> Enough about Jimmy Leach.
00:22:40 Do you mind if I talk to Zachary?
00:22:44 >> Of course not.
00:22:46 >> I would never do it without your permission.
00:22:47 >> No, talk to him.
00:22:49 That's completely fine with us.
00:22:51 >> And good luck with that.
00:22:53 >> Stop it, Angel.
00:22:54 And why do you say that?
00:22:56 >> Mrs. Longstreet- >> Penelope,
00:22:58 I think we'll do better if we're on a first name basis, don't you?
00:23:00 >> Penelope, you're acting on the desire to educate and that's-
00:23:05 >> I don't have to talk to him if
00:23:06 you don't want me to.
00:23:07 >> Go ahead, lecture him, talk to him, do whatever you want.
00:23:10 >> I don't understand how you feel so uninvolved here.
00:23:14 >> Mrs. Longstreet- >> Penelope.
00:23:15 >> Penelope, I'm very involved here.
00:23:19 My son injured another child.
00:23:21 >> Deliberately.
00:23:22 >> See, that's the kind of thing that irks me.
00:23:24 We know deliberately.
00:23:25 >> That's what makes all the difference.
00:23:26 >> The difference between what and what?
00:23:28 We're only talking about one thing here.
00:23:30 Our kid picked up a stick, hit your kid.
00:23:31 That's why we're here, right?
00:23:33 >> Fruitless.
00:23:33 >> Right.
00:23:34 She's right, guys.
00:23:35 This kind of talk is fruitless.
00:23:37 >> So why do you feel you need to slip in the word deliberately?
00:23:40 What kind of lesson are you trying to teach me?
00:23:41 >> All right, this is getting silly.
00:23:44 My husband is all stressed out over work stuff, so I'll come back here tonight with
00:23:48 Zachary and we'll just let them work it out naturally.
00:23:50 >> I'm not stressed out in the least.
00:23:52 >> Well, I am.
00:23:53 >> There's no reason to be stressed out.
00:23:55 >> Yes, there is.
00:23:56 >> Yeah.
00:23:57 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:24:01 >> Well, no comment.
00:24:03 No comment.
00:24:03 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:24:06 No comment.
00:24:07 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:24:10 What?
00:24:11 If you recall it, you're admitting liability.
00:24:13 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:24:16 Recalling Antril would be admitting your liability.
00:24:20 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:24:21 >> At Christmas time in the school play.
00:24:22 >> There's no contingency budget in any alley.
00:24:24 >> What did Zachary play?
00:24:25 Zachary played Ebenezer Scrooge.
00:24:26 >> I mean, if you want to get accused of accounting irregularity.
00:24:29 >> Ebenezer Scrooge.
00:24:29 >> If the school wanted to haul you out of the meeting in handcuffs two weeks from now,
00:24:32 go right ahead and recall it.
00:24:33 >> Michael, do you remember when he played Scrooge?
00:24:35 >> Sure, yeah, sure.
00:24:37 >> Yeah, he was wonderful.
00:24:39 >> Yeah, he had that nightcap on.
00:24:41 He was very fun.
00:24:41 >> Let's talk about the victims after the stockholders meeting.
00:24:43 >> What about Ethan?
00:24:44 What did Ethan play?
00:24:45 He played one of the kids.
00:24:47 >> We know one of the cratchits.
00:24:48 >> The cratchit kids.
00:24:50 >> That's right.
00:24:51 >> We can't recall the drug because three guys can't walk a straight line.
00:24:55 So for the time being, don't make a move.
00:24:58 All right, okay, call you right back.
00:25:02 They're there in panic mode.
00:25:12 They got the media breathing down their necks.
00:25:14 All right.
00:25:15 I want a press release that doesn't sound defensive at all.
00:25:20 Just the opposite.
00:25:21 Go for the jugular.
00:25:22 Something like TW Pharma is a target.
00:25:25 Attempted manipulation of the stock price two weeks before the stockholders meeting.
00:25:30 Where does this study come from anyway?
00:25:33 How does this suddenly drop out of clear blue sky, etc., etc.?
00:25:37 Not one word about the health issue.
00:25:39 Just one question.
00:25:41 Who's behind the study?
00:25:43 Who?
00:25:43 Fine.
00:25:45 Pharmaceutical company is the worst, right?
00:25:49 Profit, profit, profit.
00:25:51 Nobody said you should listen to my conversation.
00:25:55 Well, nobody said you should have it under my nose.
00:25:58 Oh, wrong.
00:25:59 I'm totally forced to have it here.
00:26:01 Against my will, believe me.
00:26:03 Yeah.
00:26:03 They just peddle the shit, right?
00:26:05 No one's responsible.
00:26:06 Any therapeutic advance, there are benefits and there are risks.
00:26:10 Yeah, sure, I know.
00:26:11 Still, you got some funny line of work.
00:26:14 What does that mean?
00:26:17 Michael, it's none of our business.
00:26:20 Funny line of work.
00:26:21 What about you?
00:26:22 What do you do?
00:26:23 I got a normal job.
00:26:24 What's a normal job?
00:26:26 I told you, I sell pots and pans.
00:26:27 And door handles.
00:26:29 And flush mechanisms and a lot of other stuff.
00:26:32 Flush mechanisms, I like that.
00:26:34 That's interesting.
00:26:35 Alan.
00:26:36 I find that interesting.
00:26:39 Flush toilets are interesting.
00:26:41 Why not?
00:26:41 How many different kinds do you have?
00:26:43 There's two basic kinds.
00:26:45 You got your push button and your handle operated.
00:26:47 Yeah, right.
00:26:49 Depends where your water line is.
00:26:50 I see.
00:26:51 It either comes from the side near the top or it comes from the bottom.
00:26:53 Right.
00:26:54 One of my store managers is an expert.
00:26:56 I could introduce you if you want.
00:26:57 You have to hump it out to Jamaica, Queens, though.
00:26:59 You seem like you know your business pretty well.
00:27:02 Are you planning on sanctioning Zachary in any way?
00:27:04 You two can have your plumbing discussion some other time.
00:27:07 I don't feel well.
00:27:10 What's the matter?
00:27:10 Are you all right?
00:27:11 Oh, you do look pale, honey.
00:27:13 Yeah, I'm white, yeah.
00:27:15 I'm nauseous.
00:27:20 Some Reglan.
00:27:22 We got some Reglan, right?
00:27:23 No, no, no.
00:27:24 I'll be fine.
00:27:24 A Coke.
00:27:26 What you need is a Coke.
00:27:27 It's not cold.
00:27:45 Thank you.
00:27:46 Just a little sip.
00:27:47 Are you sure?
00:27:47 The Coke wasn't in the fridge.
00:27:48 All right.
00:27:48 Don't call me back.
00:27:49 Tell him right away.
00:27:50 Okay.
00:27:50 Is Coke good for that?
00:27:51 It's more for diarrhea, isn't it?
00:27:53 No, not only.
00:27:53 Better?
00:27:54 I think so.
00:27:54 This is Longstreet.
00:27:55 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:27:55 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:27:56 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:27:57 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:27:58 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:27:59 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:27:59 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:00 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:01 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:01 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:02 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:02 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:13 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:14 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:15 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:16 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:17 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:17 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:19 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:19 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:21 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:22 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:23 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:23 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:25 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:25 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:27 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:27 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:29 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:29 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:31 I'm going to get you a Coke.
00:28:32 Go on.
00:28:32 Sorry.
00:28:33 Yeah?
00:28:34 Oh, it's been perfect.
00:28:36 Great.
00:28:37 I'm going to stay for the night.
00:28:38 Yeah, but don't forget, nothing's been proven here.
00:28:41 Nothing's certain.
00:28:42 Right.
00:28:42 And don't fuck this up.
00:28:44 If we don't get this right, Walter will be out on his ass
00:28:47 in two weeks, and so will we.
00:28:48 Enough, Alan.
00:28:50 Enough with the cell phone already.
00:28:51 The here and now, god damn it.
00:28:54 Call me back and read it to me.
00:28:56 What the hell is wrong with you, screaming at me like that?
00:28:59 Dennis heard every word.
00:29:00 Good.
00:29:01 I am sick of that fucking cell phone every minute of every day.
00:29:04 Listen, Nancy, you should be thanking me for agreeing to come here.
00:29:08 Really?
00:29:10 I'm going to throw up.
00:29:10 No, you're not.
00:29:11 I am.
00:29:12 You want to use the bathroom?
00:29:14 Nobody's forcing you to stay.
00:29:15 She's right.
00:29:16 Nobody's forcing you to stay.
00:29:17 I feel dizzy.
00:29:18 Well, stare at a point in space.
00:29:20 Stare at a point in space.
00:29:22 Hey, you can see part of the elf in your Coke.
00:29:24 Get away from me.
00:29:25 Leave me alone.
00:29:26 Shouldn't she go to the bathroom?
00:29:27 Go to the bathroom if you have to throw up.
00:29:30 Give her some Reglan.
00:29:31 Can't be the cobbler, can it?
00:29:33 No, I made it yesterday.
00:29:34 Don't touch me.
00:29:35 Take it easy, dude.
00:29:36 Come on now, don't get all bent out of shape over nothing.
00:29:40 My husband feels that anything to do with the house, the school, the backyard is my domain.
00:29:45 I do not.
00:29:46 You do so.
00:29:47 And I can understand why.
00:29:49 It's all so excruciatingly boring.
00:29:51 It's excruciating.
00:29:53 If it's so excruciating, then why have children in the first place?
00:29:55 Yeah, maybe Zachary's picking up on that lack of interest.
00:29:59 What lack of interest?
00:30:00 You just said yourself.
00:30:01 Go get a bucket.
00:30:05 Go get a bucket.
00:30:06 Stupid bitch.
00:30:17 Oh, you should have gone to the bathroom, dude.
00:30:19 This is ridiculous.
00:30:21 Your suit took a hit.
00:30:21 It couldn't be the cobbler.
00:30:24 That much I know.
00:30:24 It's not the cobbler.
00:30:25 This is nerves.
00:30:26 This is just nerves.
00:30:27 Do you want to clean up in the bathroom or...
00:30:29 My kushk.
00:30:33 Give her some Reglan.
00:30:40 She can't keep anything down.
00:30:41 Where's the bathroom?
00:30:43 I'll show you.
00:30:46 This is nerves.
00:30:54 It's just nerves.
00:30:56 [footsteps]
00:30:58 Thank you.
00:31:09 It's like I always say, you can't get over something while you're under it.
00:31:13 With me, it's the back of my neck.
00:31:15 I get all blocked up back there.
00:31:17 All right.
00:31:18 What do we do with the kukoshka?
00:31:20 We can clean it.
00:31:22 Maybe Lysol.
00:31:23 Problem is going to be drying it.
00:31:26 Maybe plain water and put some cologne on there.
00:31:28 Cologne?
00:31:29 I got some of that chrono stuff I never used.
00:31:31 The paper warp.
00:31:33 I'm gonna blow dry it and put some books on top of it after to flatten it out.
00:31:38 Or maybe iron it like dollar bills.
00:31:40 Oh, God.
00:31:42 I'll buy you another one.
00:31:44 There is no other one.
00:31:45 It's been out of print for years.
00:31:46 So sorry.
00:31:48 We can save it.
00:31:48 Penn, let me do this.
00:31:50 It's a reprint from the catalog of the 1957 show in London.
00:31:53 Go get the blow dryer and the cologne.
00:31:55 It's in the bathroom cabinet.
00:31:56 Her husband's in the bathroom.
00:31:58 He's not in the can.
00:31:59 Look, I got most of it off.
00:32:01 There's just a little bit left on the dolgins.
00:32:03 Excuse me.
00:32:14 [blow dryer]
00:32:39 Are you feeling better?
00:32:40 Yeah.
00:32:41 What should I spray or?
00:32:43 Where's the blow dryer?
00:32:44 Oh, he's drying his pants.
00:32:46 All right.
00:32:48 Well, wait.
00:32:48 We should put the chronos on there last.
00:32:49 Can I use the bathroom, too?
00:32:52 Yes, of course.
00:32:54 Of course.
00:32:55 I don't know what to say.
00:33:02 I am so sorry.
00:33:05 [blow dryer]
00:33:15 Bring the blow dryer when you're done.
00:33:17 Please.
00:33:17 I'm sorry.
00:33:18 [blow dryer]
00:33:22 Unbelievable.
00:33:22 That's fucking believable.
00:33:26 Their cobbler is horrible.
00:33:29 You stuffed your face.
00:33:32 Look at my day.
00:33:35 Gotta get some food in me sometime.
00:33:37 Oh, God.
00:33:51 Freaking nightmare.
00:33:53 You better watch it.
00:33:57 He's got me right on the edge.
00:33:58 She's horrible.
00:33:59 Less.
00:34:01 She's so fake.
00:34:01 She doesn't bother me as much.
00:34:05 They're both horrible.
00:34:06 And why do you keep taking their side all the time?
00:34:08 Sorry.
00:34:10 I don't take their side.
00:34:11 What's that supposed to mean?
00:34:11 What the hell are we doing here?
00:34:13 I hope you're kidding.
00:34:16 Why do you argue with her?
00:34:18 We'd have been out of here a long time ago
00:34:21 if you didn't becker over every word.
00:34:23 Would you rather I was a sheep like her husband?
00:34:26 Do you think it was the cobbler?
00:34:29 Of course it was.
00:34:33 A little warm Coke and bang.
00:34:35 You're always mitigating.
00:34:40 You're trying to reconcile everything.
00:34:42 I am not.
00:34:43 You are.
00:34:44 You hit a gang and you were the leader
00:34:46 and they can do whatever they want with their son.
00:34:48 Well, their son is a threat to Homeland Security.
00:34:50 And a kid like that, when he's a menace to society,
00:34:53 it's everybody's business.
00:34:54 And I can't believe that she barfed all over my books.
00:34:58 I mean, you know that you're gonna toss your cookies.
00:35:01 You know you take some precautions.
00:35:03 Oh, the Fujita.
00:35:06 That's disgusting.
00:35:08 I was right on the edge with that toilet flushing shit.
00:35:11 You were incredible.
00:35:13 I helped my own, right?
00:35:14 Incredible.
00:35:15 Jamaica Queens, now that was a genius.
00:35:18 Little piece of shit.
00:35:19 What does he call her again?
00:35:20 Doodle.
00:35:21 Yeah, right.
00:35:22 Doodle.
00:35:22 Doodle.
00:35:24 Yeah, I call her Doodle.
00:35:26 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:35:29 We didn't mean anything.
00:35:31 You know, it's so easy to make fun of other people's pet names.
00:35:35 Michael, what do we call each other?
00:35:38 I'm sure it's worse, right?
00:35:39 Here, you wanted the blow dryer.
00:35:42 Thanks.
00:35:42 We call each other Darjeeling.
00:35:45 Like the T.
00:35:45 It's a lot more embarrassing if you ask me.
00:35:50 How is she feeling?
00:35:52 Is she feeling better?
00:35:53 Yeah, better.
00:35:55 Yeah, I reacted badly.
00:35:58 I'm ashamed.
00:35:59 I really am.
00:36:01 Uh, you know, I made a big deal about the catalog and I don't even know why I did that.
00:36:09 You know, you get so absurdly attached to these things and you don't even know why, really.
00:36:13 Pull it taut, though, Pam.
00:36:14 Yeah, but hold on to the other side.
00:36:15 I know, I got it, I got it.
00:36:16 Just pull it.
00:36:17 You got to pull it because there's wrinkles on that.
00:36:19 The corners are wet.
00:36:20 I know, I'll get the corners.
00:36:22 It's gonna tear.
00:36:22 He's right, Michael, it's gonna tear.
00:36:25 Okay, well, here.
00:36:26 I'll just--
00:36:27 It's dry enough.
00:36:27 Okay, you put cologne on those and I'll finish this one.
00:36:31 So where does doodle come from?
00:36:34 Sorry?
00:36:36 Yankee Doodle or Cheese Doodle?
00:36:38 It's from a song from Guys and Dolls that goes doodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle.
00:36:42 Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that one.
00:36:43 I love you, Bush Lennepack.
00:36:46 You got your pretty neck, I do doodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle.
00:36:50 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:51 Ours is from our honeymoon in India.
00:36:53 We called each other Darjeeling instead of darling.
00:36:57 So stupid.
00:36:58 Oh, maybe I should check on her, huh?
00:37:01 Yeah, yeah, you do that Darjeeling.
00:37:03 Oh, Nancy.
00:37:05 Hey.
00:37:05 Well, I was worried about you.
00:37:08 Are you feeling better?
00:37:08 Yeah, better.
00:37:11 I think so.
00:37:11 If you're not sure, stay away from the coffee table.
00:37:15 I left a towel in the bathtub.
00:37:20 I didn't know where to put it.
00:37:21 Perfect.
00:37:23 You cleaned up.
00:37:27 I am so sorry.
00:37:29 Everything's fine.
00:37:30 All is well.
00:37:31 I'm sorry.
00:37:32 I wasn't there for you.
00:37:33 I was so focused on the Kokoschka.
00:37:35 That's all right.
00:37:36 No, I behaved poorly.
00:37:39 Please.
00:37:40 In the bathroom, I was thinking.
00:37:51 Yes?
00:37:54 Yeah, maybe we glossed over the, uh, well, I mean.
00:38:02 What?
00:38:02 What is it?
00:38:04 Well, name calling is a kind of abuse.
00:38:09 Sure.
00:38:10 Depends.
00:38:11 Right, depends.
00:38:13 Zachary has never been a violent child.
00:38:16 He must have had his reasons.
00:38:17 Like getting called a snitch.
00:38:18 Excuse me.
00:38:20 Yeah, Walter.
00:38:24 [INAUDIBLE]
00:38:29 As long as there are no victims on the panel.
00:38:31 No victims.
00:38:33 I don't want you sitting down with victims.
00:38:34 Deny, deny, deny.
00:38:37 If we have to, we'll sue the journal.
00:38:39 We'll email you the draft of the press release.
00:38:43 Walter, I'm sorry.
00:38:44 I gotta go.
00:38:45 Don't call me snitch.
00:38:48 Gets her eyes out of me.
00:38:49 Unless it's true.
00:38:50 What?
00:38:51 You know, if the shoe fits.
00:38:53 You think my son is a snitch?
00:38:55 Come on, I'm joking around.
00:38:56 So is yours anyway.
00:38:57 What do you mean so is ours?
00:38:59 He snitched on Zachary.
00:39:00 Well, we coaxed it out of him.
00:39:02 Michael, we're getting completely off point here.
00:39:03 Maybe you coaxed, but he did snitch on him.
00:39:06 Nancy.
00:39:07 Nancy what?
00:39:08 You think my son is a snitch?
00:39:10 I don't think anything.
00:39:12 Well, if you don't think anything, don't say anything.
00:39:14 Don't make insinuations.
00:39:16 Nancy, there's no reason to lose our cool here, OK?
00:39:19 Michael and I have gone out of our way to be fair-minded and conciliating.
00:39:23 Not so fair-minded.
00:39:24 Oh, really?
00:39:25 Superficially fair-minded.
00:39:27 Doodle, I have to go.
00:39:29 So go, coward.
00:39:31 Nancy, right now I'm in danger of losing my most important client.
00:39:36 So this caring parent crap and the bickering that goes along with it.
00:39:39 Yeah, well, my son lost two teeth.
00:39:41 Two incisors.
00:39:42 We got that right.
00:39:43 Yeah, one of them permanently.
00:39:45 He'll get new teeth.
00:39:46 Better ones.
00:39:48 No one chewed his ear off.
00:39:49 It was a mistake not to consider the source of the problem.
00:39:52 There is no source.
00:39:53 There's an 11-year-old kid who hits people with a stick.
00:39:56 Armed with a stick.
00:39:57 No, we took that word out.
00:39:58 Yeah, you took it out because we asked you to.
00:40:00 We took it out without argument.
00:40:02 A word which deliberately establishes intent without any hint of a misunderstanding,
00:40:06 which excludes childhood.
00:40:08 I don't think I can stand this tone anymore.
00:40:10 We're not quite on the same page, you and I, right from the start.
00:40:13 Mr. Cowan, it is incredibly frustrating to be continually upbraided for something that
00:40:20 we ourselves admit was a mistake.
00:40:22 The word "armed" wasn't right.
00:40:24 We took it out.
00:40:24 Strictly speaking, it certainly applies.
00:40:28 Zachary was verbally abused and he reacted.
00:40:30 Now, if I'm attacked, I defend myself, especially when I'm all alone against a whole gang.
00:40:35 Well, you certainly perked up since you tossed your cookies.
00:40:37 Do you realize how crude that is?
00:40:40 Look, we're all decent people, all four of us.
00:40:43 I don't know how we got so carried away losing our tempers.
00:40:46 This is totally unnecessary.
00:40:47 Michael, stop it.
00:40:48 Stop mitigating.
00:40:49 All right, we're only superficially fair-minded, so why should we be fair-minded at all?
00:40:52 No, no, I'm not going to be led down that path.
00:40:55 What path?
00:40:55 The path these two little shits led us down, all right?
00:40:58 I'm afraid Penn doesn't see things...
00:40:59 Penelope!
00:41:00 Sorry.
00:41:01 So Ethan's a shit now.
00:41:02 That really takes the cake.
00:41:05 Look, that's it.
00:41:07 I really have to leave now.
00:41:08 Yeah, so do I.
00:41:09 Go! Go!
00:41:11 I give up.
00:41:12 Hello?
00:41:19 Oh, hi, Ma.
00:41:19 No, we got some friends over, but go ahead.
00:41:24 Yes, yes, you just do whatever the doctors tell you to do.
00:41:30 Yes.
00:41:32 The what?
00:41:39 Antril?
00:41:43 You're, you're, you're taking Antril?
00:41:48 Hold on a second, Ma.
00:41:49 Antril?
00:41:50 That crap of yours is Antril?
00:41:52 My mother's taking it.
00:41:53 Thousands of people take it.
00:41:54 Mom, listen, you got to stop taking that one right away.
00:41:58 You hear me? Right now.
00:41:59 Just, I, you just do what I tell you, all right?
00:42:03 I'm going to explain later.
00:42:04 Mom, you tell Dr. Pearlstein that I said you can't take it.
00:42:11 Good.
00:42:16 Why red?
00:42:17 So who can see?
00:42:20 Mom, that's ridiculous.
00:42:23 Okay, Mom, Mom, but, but, Mom, I have to call you back.
00:42:28 I told you we have company.
00:42:29 Okay, I love you.
00:42:31 Bye-bye.
00:42:32 She got red crutches in case she gets hit by a truck.
00:42:38 In case she wanders out in the middle of the street at night.
00:42:41 They're giving her Antril for her blood pressure.
00:42:43 She's taking it and she looks normal.
00:42:44 I'll take her deposition.
00:42:47 She did not have a scarf.
00:42:48 You know, I don't like that attitude of yours.
00:42:50 And if my mother shows even the slightest symptom,
00:42:53 my name's going to be on the top of a class action suit, pal.
00:42:56 We'll have one anyway.
00:42:56 Yeah, well, I should hope so.
00:42:58 Doing the right thing is just futile.
00:43:00 Honesty is just stupidity.
00:43:02 It just weakens you.
00:43:03 You're like a guard dog.
00:43:04 Let's go, Nancy.
00:43:05 That's enough servants and lecturers for one day.
00:43:08 Yeah, go ahead.
00:43:09 But let me tell you this.
00:43:10 Now that I know you two, I'm not surprised.
00:43:12 What's his name?
00:43:14 Zachary.
00:43:15 May have some behavioral issues.
00:43:17 When you killed that hamster.
00:43:20 Killed?
00:43:20 Killed.
00:43:21 I killed the hamster?
00:43:22 Yes.
00:43:23 You do everything you can to make us feel guilty.
00:43:25 You stake out the moral high ground as your own,
00:43:27 but you yourself are a murderer.
00:43:30 I definitely did not kill that hamster.
00:43:32 Worse, you just left it out there trembling with fear
00:43:36 in a hostile environment.
00:43:38 That poor critter was probably eaten by a dog or a rat.
00:43:41 She's right about that.
00:43:42 What do you mean she's right?
00:43:43 I mean, come on, Michael.
00:43:44 It's just, it's horrible.
00:43:45 What must have happened to that poor animal?
00:43:47 I thought the hamster would be happy to be free.
00:43:49 I thought he'd go running around the gutter, happy as a clam.
00:43:51 But I didn't.
00:43:52 And you just left him there.
00:43:54 Because I can't touch those things, okay?
00:43:57 I can't touch anything of that family Christ.
00:43:59 Penny, you know that.
00:44:00 He's afraid of rodents.
00:44:01 Yes, I have a fear of rodents.
00:44:02 And I have a fear of reptiles.
00:44:05 Anything down close to the ground.
00:44:06 That's it, all right?
00:44:07 What about you?
00:44:08 How come you didn't go downstairs and get it?
00:44:11 Because I didn't know.
00:44:13 Well, Michael said this morning that the hamster ran away.
00:44:15 So I went right out the front door.
00:44:17 I went right down the block.
00:44:18 I went all the way around.
00:44:19 I went to the basement.
00:44:20 Penelope, it is completely unfair that all of a sudden I'm in the hot seat about this
00:44:25 hamster thing.
00:44:26 That you just had to tell him about that as a family issue.
00:44:28 That doesn't concern anybody but us.
00:44:30 And it's got nothing to do with this situation here.
00:44:32 And I can't believe I'm being called a murderer in my own house.
00:44:35 What does your house have to do with the price of tea and chimes?
00:44:37 It's my house.
00:44:38 I opened the door.
00:44:40 The door is wide open in the spirit of reconciliation.
00:44:43 To a couple people who should be a little more grateful.
00:44:45 Keep right on stroking your own ego.
00:44:47 It's beautiful.
00:44:48 So you have no remorse?
00:44:50 No, I have no remorse.
00:44:52 That animal was disgusting and I'm glad it's gone.
00:44:55 Michael, that's ridiculous.
00:44:56 What's ridiculous?
00:44:57 Have you lost your mind now too?
00:44:59 Their son beats the shit out of Ethan and you're in my face over a hamster.
00:45:03 What you did to that hamster was wrong.
00:45:04 You can't deny that.
00:45:05 I don't give a shit about the hamster!
00:45:06 Well, you're gonna give a shit about the hamster when your daughter gets home.
00:45:09 Bring her on!
00:45:10 I'm not gonna be told how to act by some nine-year-old snot-nosed brat.
00:45:13 I agree with him there, 100%.
00:45:15 See?
00:45:17 That's pathetic.
00:45:18 Watch it, Penelope.
00:45:20 Watch it!
00:45:21 I've kept my shirt on up till now, but you are pushing me over the line.
00:45:24 And Ethan?
00:45:25 What about Ethan?
00:45:26 Well, is he sad too?
00:45:27 You know, Ethan's got other things on his plate if you ask me.
00:45:31 Ethan wasn't attached to nibbles.
00:45:33 Nibbles?
00:45:34 What the hell kind of pussy-ass name is that anyway?
00:45:37 So if you feel no remorse, why should I, son?
00:45:41 You know what?
00:45:42 All this consultation and consideration shit, I'm sick to death of it.
00:45:46 We were nice to you.
00:45:47 We bought tulips!
00:45:48 You know, my wife dressed me up as a liberal, but the fact of the matter is,
00:45:52 I got no patience for this touchy-feely bullshit.
00:45:54 I am a short-tempered son of a bitch, okay?
00:45:57 We all are.
00:45:59 No, I'm sorry.
00:46:01 We are not.
00:46:02 We are not all short-tempered sons of bitches.
00:46:04 Not you, of course.
00:46:05 No, not me, thank God!
00:46:06 No, not you, Darjeeling.
00:46:08 Not you!
00:46:09 You're so evolved.
00:46:10 You never go off half-cocked.
00:46:11 Why are you being so aggressive with me?
00:46:13 I'm not being aggressive.
00:46:14 I'm being honest.
00:46:14 Yeah, you are.
00:46:15 You're being aggressive.
00:46:16 You know what?
00:46:17 You put this little bash together, and I let you recruit me.
00:46:20 You let me recruit you?
00:46:21 Yes!
00:46:22 That is so disgusting.
00:46:24 No, it's not.
00:46:25 You're an advocate for civilized behavior.
00:46:28 That's fine with me.
00:46:28 That's right.
00:46:29 I'm an advocate for civilized behavior.
00:46:30 You bet I am.
00:46:31 At least somebody around here is.
00:46:32 You, you, you think it's better to be a deferred son of a bitch?
00:46:36 Nobody said that.
00:46:36 Nobody criticized you for that.
00:46:38 You did!
00:46:39 We did not.
00:46:40 What was I supposed to do?
00:46:41 Was I supposed to sue you?
00:46:42 Was I supposed to never speak to you again?
00:46:44 Was I supposed to just tear you apart for the insurance company?
00:46:47 Stop it, Penny.
00:46:48 Stop what?
00:46:48 You're blowing this all out of proportion!
00:46:50 I don't care.
00:46:51 You do everything you can to escape the penniness,
00:46:55 and you just end up humiliated and completely alone.
00:47:00 Yes, Walter.
00:47:00 David's not even here.
00:47:04 Well, let him prove it.
00:47:06 He will prove it.
00:47:07 From where I sit, the best thing for us to do is not--
00:47:14 We're born alone, and we die alone.
00:47:16 That's it.
00:47:16 Who wants a little scotch?
00:47:17 Walter, I'm in a meeting right now.
00:47:22 I'll call you when I get back to the office.
00:47:24 See, I'm living with this totally negative person.
00:47:27 Who's negative?
00:47:28 Me.
00:47:29 This was the worst possible idea.
00:47:32 We should have never had this meeting.
00:47:33 I told you so.
00:47:34 You told me so.
00:47:35 Yeah?
00:47:36 You told me we should have never had this meeting.
00:47:38 I didn't think it was a very good idea.
00:47:40 It was a good idea.
00:47:41 Oh, come on.
00:47:42 Who wants a little?
00:47:43 You told me you didn't think this was a very good idea.
00:47:45 As I recall.
00:47:46 As you recall.
00:47:47 Maybe just a little sip.
00:47:49 Don't you have to go?
00:47:50 Well, at this point in the game, I might as well have a little drink.
00:47:53 You look me in the eye, Michael, and you tell me that we didn't both agree on this?
00:47:58 Calm down, Penelope.
00:48:00 This is going nowhere.
00:48:01 Who said--
00:48:02 Who said not to touch the cobbler this morning, huh?
00:48:04 Who said we should leave some for the count?
00:48:06 Who said that?
00:48:07 That was very nice of you.
00:48:08 What does that have to do with anything?
00:48:10 What do you mean, what does that have to do with anything?
00:48:12 Guests are guests.
00:48:14 You're lying.
00:48:15 You're lying.
00:48:16 Lying.
00:48:17 You know, my wife actually had to drag me here today.
00:48:21 When you grow up with a certain John Wayne idea of manhood,
00:48:24 the impulse in this kind of situation is not to talk it through.
00:48:27 I thought the role model was Ivanhoe.
00:48:30 Same basic concept.
00:48:32 Another aspect.
00:48:34 Another aspect.
00:48:35 Just how much you can humiliate yourself.
00:48:38 Oh, my God.
00:48:38 I can see I dragged him here for nothing.
00:48:40 What did you expect, Doodle?
00:48:43 That is a ridiculous nickname.
00:48:45 Some revelation about universal values?
00:48:48 This scotch is unbelievable.
00:48:50 Right?
00:48:50 You see that?
00:48:51 18 years old, single malt from a little place in Scotland still grows her own barley.
00:48:56 What about the tulips?
00:48:57 Huh?
00:48:57 Who got them?
00:48:58 All I said was, boy, it's too bad we didn't get any of those tulips this week.
00:49:03 I didn't say anything about going all the way to Henry Street at dawn.
00:49:05 Don't get all bent out of shape over this, Penelope.
00:49:07 It's not worth it.
00:49:09 He got the tulips.
00:49:10 Him and only him.
00:49:11 What, we don't get a drink?
00:49:15 Huh?
00:49:15 Penelope and I would like a drink, too.
00:49:32 Pretty funny when you think about it.
00:49:34 Devotee of Ivanhoe and John Wayne, but he's scared to pick up an itty bitty mouse.
00:49:40 Stop it with the hamster.
00:49:41 Stop.
00:49:42 She's right.
00:49:43 It's laughable.
00:49:44 And hers?
00:49:45 I don't think that'll be necessary.
00:49:47 Pour me a drink, Michael.
00:49:49 No.
00:49:49 Michael.
00:49:50 No.
00:49:51 What is wrong with you, Michael?
00:49:52 Fine, fine.
00:49:58 Drink.
00:49:59 Drink!
00:49:59 What does it matter?
00:50:01 Is drinking bad for you or something?
00:50:03 It's great for me.
00:50:04 No, I don't know.
00:50:11 Mr. Cowan.
00:50:17 Alan.
00:50:18 Alan.
00:50:20 See, you and I didn't exactly hit it off.
00:50:24 But I live with a man who has decided once and for all that life is synonymous with mediocrity.
00:50:32 You know, it's very hard to live with a man who's walled himself inside that idea,
00:50:37 who doesn't want to change anything, who doesn't get excited about anything.
00:50:40 What are you telling him this for?
00:50:41 He could care less.
00:50:43 We have to believe.
00:50:45 We have to believe in some possible correction.
00:50:49 He's the last guy on earth you should be telling this to.
00:50:52 I'll talk to anybody I damn well please.
00:50:53 Who the fuck is that now?
00:50:58 [phone ringing]
00:51:00 Hi, Ma.
00:51:04 He's fine.
00:51:09 He got his teeth knocked out, but he's fine.
00:51:11 He's in pain.
00:51:12 Yeah, he's in pain.
00:51:13 It hurts, but it'll pass.
00:51:15 Ma, I told you we have company.
00:51:17 I gotta call you back, remember?
00:51:18 Okay, bye.
00:51:20 Yeah, bye.
00:51:20 He's still in pain?
00:51:22 No.
00:51:23 Then why do you worry your mother?
00:51:26 He has to worry her.
00:51:27 He can't help himself.
00:51:28 All right, Penelope, that's enough.
00:51:30 What is this drama queen bullshit?
00:51:32 Penelope, nobody cares about anything outside himself.
00:51:35 Yeah, sure, we'd all like to believe in some possible correction.
00:51:39 One we could author ourselves, completely free of selfish consideration,
00:51:44 like you're writing this book on Darfur.
00:51:47 No, which I think is great.
00:51:49 You know, I understand how you might say,
00:51:52 "Okay, I'll pick a massacre, history's full of them, I'm gonna write a book.
00:51:56 Everybody has to save themselves somehow."
00:51:58 I'm not writing this book to save myself.
00:52:00 You haven't read it.
00:52:02 You don't even know what's in it.
00:52:03 Whatever.
00:52:05 My God, the odor of Cronus is killing me.
00:52:09 Fucking reeks.
00:52:11 You didn't exactly skimp.
00:52:12 I'm so sorry.
00:52:14 No, it was my fault.
00:52:15 I sprayed like a madwoman.
00:52:16 Why?
00:52:18 Why?
00:52:22 Why can't things be easier?
00:52:23 You know, why does everything have to be so exhausting?
00:52:28 You think too much.
00:52:30 Women think too much.
00:52:32 There's an original response.
00:52:34 I don't know what that means to think too much.
00:52:35 You know, and I don't know how you can just go on living with
00:52:39 absolutely no moral sense of the world.
00:52:41 Look at me, I'm living.
00:52:43 Oh, Michael, shut up.
00:52:44 Miserable complicity, just disgusting.
00:52:48 What happened to your sense of humor?
00:52:50 I don't have a sense of humor and I don't want one.
00:52:52 If you ask me, the couple is the worst ordeal God has ever inflicted on us.
00:52:57 Marvelous.
00:52:58 The couple and the family.
00:53:00 No one's forcing you to air this out in front of us, Michael.
00:53:03 And I might add, it's a little indecent.
00:53:05 It doesn't bother him.
00:53:07 You agree with me, don't you?
00:53:08 Look, this is all beside the point.
00:53:11 Alan, say something.
00:53:15 Well, he has a right to his ideas.
00:53:17 That doesn't mean he has to advertise them.
00:53:19 Yeah, right, maybe.
00:53:20 We don't care about their marriage.
00:53:22 We're here about a problem with the kids.
00:53:25 We don't care about their marriage.
00:53:26 Yeah, except...
00:53:26 Except what?
00:53:27 It's related.
00:53:28 It's related.
00:53:29 Of course it's related.
00:53:31 Ethan getting tube teeth busted out is related to our marriage.
00:53:34 Of course it is.
00:53:35 Sorry, I don't follow you.
00:53:36 Look, take a step back and look at the situation we're in.
00:53:39 Children suck the life out of you and leave you old and empty.
00:53:43 That's the law of nature.
00:53:45 You see these young couples laughing all the way to the altar.
00:53:48 You think they don't know.
00:53:50 Poor fuckers have no idea.
00:53:52 They're happy.
00:53:53 Nobody tells you about this stuff in the beginning.
00:53:55 I got this army buddy of mine and he's gonna have a kid with his new girlfriend.
00:53:59 I said to him, "A kid at our age?
00:54:02 What are you, stupid?
00:54:03 You got maybe 10, 15 good years left before you get cancer or have a stroke.
00:54:07 And you're gonna saddle yourself with a fucking kid?"
00:54:10 That's not really what you think.
00:54:11 Yes, it is.
00:54:12 Of course it is.
00:54:13 I think even worse.
00:54:14 Yeah, you're debasing yourself, Michael.
00:54:16 Is that right?
00:54:19 Well, stop crying, Penelope.
00:54:21 It makes it worse.
00:54:22 Here.
00:54:24 Oh, of course, of course.
00:54:26 It's excellent, isn't it?
00:54:29 Excellent.
00:54:29 Could I interest you in a cigar?
00:54:32 No cigars in house.
00:54:34 Too bad.
00:54:35 Were you gonna smoke a cigar now, Alan?
00:54:37 I do what I want, Nancy.
00:54:38 If I wanna smoke a cigar, I smoke a cigar.
00:54:41 I won't smoke it because I don't want to upset Penelope, who's already on the edge,
00:54:45 to put it mildly.
00:54:47 Oh, quit sniffling like that.
00:54:49 She's right.
00:54:50 You know, when women cry, men are pushed to a breaking point.
00:54:55 Although, unfortunately, I must say Michael's point of view is completely justified.
00:55:01 Yeah.
00:55:01 Yeah, sure, go ahead.
00:55:04 Yeah, put New York in a specific time of day.
00:55:09 It's unbearable.
00:55:10 Oh, well, the time you send it.
00:55:13 It has to be hot off the press.
00:55:16 Not questions to the plowers, questions to Ushiwashi.
00:55:19 I live with this, night and day.
00:55:22 One second.
00:55:23 Our lives are chopped up by the cell phone.
00:55:25 Nancy, this is very important.
00:55:27 It's always more important.
00:55:28 Go ahead.
00:55:29 What's happening somewhere else is always more important.
00:55:33 No, no, not strategy, scheme.
00:55:36 A scheme surfacing two weeks from the company's posting, et cetera, et cetera.
00:55:40 In the street, at the dinner table, everywhere.
00:55:45 Mm?
00:55:45 And study in quotes?
00:55:47 Put the word "study" in quotes.
00:55:51 I don't even protest anymore.
00:55:52 Unconditional surrender.
00:55:54 I feel like I'm going to vomit again.
00:55:58 Where's that bucket?
00:55:59 How am I supposed to know?
00:56:01 Well, then just quote me.
00:56:08 You know, this is a bear face.
00:56:10 Can you stand over the bucket, please?
00:56:12 Pen.
00:56:13 What?
00:56:14 I mean, we're already set up to handle this now.
00:56:16 My client, according to TW Pharma attorney, Alan Cowen.
00:56:20 AP writers, newspapers, trade journals, you know, whole shebang.
00:56:28 What's wrong?
00:56:32 It's going to throw up again.
00:56:33 You're so caring, it's touching.
00:56:35 Well, I'm worried.
00:56:36 I didn't get that.
00:56:37 My mistake.
00:56:38 Oh, come on, Nancy, will you?
00:56:41 You and I don't have to do this.
00:56:43 Their marriage is going downhill.
00:56:45 We don't have to try to compete with them.
00:56:46 What gives you the right to say that our marriage is going downhill?
00:56:49 What gives you the right?
00:56:50 Yeah, Walter.
00:56:54 Yeah, I just had it read back to me.
00:56:58 They'll send it over to you.
00:56:59 Manipulation, manipulation of the stock price.
00:57:03 Listen, Walter, I'll call you back in a minute.
00:57:06 I didn't say it, Stephen did.
00:57:09 Michael.
00:57:11 I will not let you judge our family.
00:57:14 Don't judge our son either.
00:57:16 That's different.
00:57:17 Your son brutalized our son.
00:57:18 They're young.
00:57:20 They're kids.
00:57:21 Kids roughhousing the playground.
00:57:23 Always have, always will.
00:57:25 It's a rule of nature.
00:57:26 No, it isn't.
00:57:27 Sure it is.
00:57:27 Yeah, it takes a little education to substitute the rule of law for violence.
00:57:31 The origin of law, as you of course know, is brute force.
00:57:36 Maybe if you're a caveman, but not in this world.
00:57:39 Tell me about this world.
00:57:40 Oh, you're boring.
00:57:41 This whole conversation is boring.
00:57:43 Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage.
00:57:47 The god whose rule has been unchallenged since time immemorial.
00:57:50 You're interested in Africa, right?
00:57:52 What's the matter?
00:57:55 Don't worry about me.
00:57:56 Nancy.
00:57:57 I'm just fine.
00:57:58 See, I just got back from the Congo.
00:58:03 They got kids there trained to kill at the age of eight.
00:58:05 In the course of their childhood, they might kill hundreds of people.
00:58:08 They kill with a machete, a shotgun, a kalash, a thumper.
00:58:13 So obviously, when my kid busts her mother kid's tooth,
00:58:17 even two teeth with this bamboo switch by the sandbox,
00:58:20 I'm not quite as shocked and indignant as you are.
00:58:23 Well, you should be.
00:58:24 Thumper.
00:58:25 That's what they call a grenade launcher.
00:58:28 That's what I call it.
00:58:29 You all right?
00:58:31 Just fine.
00:58:32 What's wrong with her?
00:58:35 What's the matter?
00:58:36 Files.
00:58:37 Nothing.
00:58:38 Don't you tell me about Africa.
00:58:40 I know all about suffering in Africa.
00:58:44 I don't doubt it.
00:58:44 That's all I've been thinking about for months.
00:58:47 Don't get her started on this, please.
00:58:50 I'm actually starting to like you.
00:58:55 Shut up.
00:58:56 Talk about commitment to world peace and stability.
00:58:58 Shut the fuck up, Michael.
00:59:00 Are you sure about that?
00:59:02 Very sure.
00:59:04 This will do me some good.
00:59:05 We live in New York.
00:59:07 Or we don't live in Kinshasa.
00:59:10 We live in New York City.
00:59:11 And with the customs of Western society.
00:59:14 So, you know, what happens at the Brooklyn Bridge Playground,
00:59:18 that has to do with Western values.
00:59:20 To which, whether you like it or not, I happen to subscribe.
00:59:24 Oh, meeting your husband must be one of those customs then, huh?
00:59:27 I'm warning you, Michael.
00:59:29 She was all over you like a bad rash.
00:59:32 If I were you, it would melt my heart.
00:59:35 He's making fun of you.
00:59:36 Do you believe it?
00:59:37 You're careless.
00:59:39 No, really.
00:59:40 Morally, you're supposed to overcome your impulses.
00:59:42 But there are times you don't want to overcome them.
00:59:44 I mean, who wants to say a Hail Mary when you're having sex?
00:59:49 Can you buy the scotch around here?
00:59:51 No, this one, not very likely, no.
00:59:53 Thumper.
00:59:55 Thumper, really?
00:59:59 Yeah, thumper.
01:00:00 That's what it's called.
01:00:00 Why don't you just say grenade launcher?
01:00:05 Because that's a term.
01:00:06 It's just like they say Kalashnikov, not Kalashnikov, or AK-47.
01:00:10 Who is they?
01:00:11 That's enough, Nancy, that's enough.
01:00:13 Hot shot firebrands like my husband, you gotta understand.
01:00:17 It's hard for them to get excited about what happens down the block.
01:00:21 Exactly.
01:00:23 I don't see why.
01:00:23 I don't see why.
01:00:26 We're all citizens of the world.
01:00:28 I don't see why we can't have some sense of community.
01:00:32 Oh, Penelope.
01:00:34 Enough with the highfalutin clap trap.
01:00:36 I'm gonna kill him.
01:00:39 Yeah.
01:00:40 Take out barefaced.
01:00:45 She's right.
01:00:45 It's unbearable after a while.
01:00:47 Brazen, a brazen attempt to...
01:00:49 There you go.
01:00:51 Did he sign off on the rest?
01:00:54 Fine, good.
01:00:56 What were we talking about, bumpers?
01:01:01 We were saying that despite what my husband thinks,
01:01:05 whether it happens here or on the other side of the world,
01:01:08 we all have to be collectively concerned.
01:01:12 Collectively concerned?
01:01:15 Nancy, it's absurd to drink in your condition.
01:01:19 What condition?
01:01:21 I'm perfect.
01:01:22 Now that's an interesting idea.
01:01:29 No, no interviews before we get this release out.
01:01:31 Mr. Cowan, can you please put an end to this nerve-wracking conversation?
01:01:37 Just remind them the stockholders won't give a shit.
01:01:41 The stockholders won't?
01:01:43 Nancy, what are you...
01:01:44 Are you out of your fucking mind?
01:01:45 There.
01:01:48 Shit!
01:01:50 Oh my god.
01:01:52 Way to go!
01:01:52 The blow dryer, the blow dryer.
01:02:03 You should be put at home, dear.
01:02:05 I got everything in there.
01:02:08 It was brand new.
01:02:12 I spent hours in this house.
01:02:13 I can't believe you did that.
01:02:15 That was a really irresponsible thing to do.
01:02:17 My whole life was in there.
01:02:21 No, it's a fool's life.
01:02:24 Shit.
01:02:25 I wanted to get the sim card in the battery.
01:02:29 How do you do that?
01:02:30 I just got it.
01:02:33 I don't know.
01:02:33 It's stuck.
01:02:37 They think it's funny.
01:02:40 They think it's funny.
01:02:41 Penelope, it's not funny.
01:02:48 My husband has spent the entire afternoon drying things.
01:02:52 I guess.
01:03:01 It's over.
01:03:02 You gotta wait.
01:03:03 It's over.
01:03:04 You know who's to fault?
01:03:09 I must say.
01:03:17 What must you say, Michael?
01:03:20 No, I don't even know what to say.
01:03:23 I'd say it feels better like this.
01:03:27 I'd say it feels better like this.
01:03:31 Wouldn't you?
01:03:31 Men get so attached to their toys it diminishes them.
01:03:38 They lose their credibility.
01:03:40 I dated this guy once.
01:03:44 And I saw him carrying this this bag, this rectangular bag with a shoulder strap.
01:03:49 It was a man's bag with a shoulder strap.
01:03:53 It was over.
01:03:53 Bag with a shoulder strap.
01:03:55 It was the worst.
01:03:57 But the cell phone always at his fingertips.
01:04:00 That's the worst, too.
01:04:01 Man should have both hands free.
01:04:05 It's gonna have both hands free.
01:04:07 I got a John Wayne idea of manhood, too.
01:04:12 What was it he had?
01:04:12 A Colt 45.
01:04:14 Something that empties a room.
01:04:15 Any man that doesn't give off those loner vibes just to come off as having any substance.
01:04:21 Oh, so Michael, Michael.
01:04:24 I guess you're happy now, huh?
01:04:28 Our little touchy-feely whatever you said is coming apart at the seams.
01:04:31 But hey, you know what?
01:04:33 I just almost feels good.
01:04:36 Well.
01:04:36 In my opinion.
01:04:38 In my opinion, some people can handle their liquor better than others.
01:04:42 I'm as normal as can be.
01:04:44 Yeah, right.
01:04:45 Yeah, I'm beginning to see things with a pleasant serenity.
01:04:48 That's good.
01:04:50 A pleasant serenity.
01:04:52 I don't know why you're wasting yourself right out in the open, Darjeeling.
01:04:56 Shut the hell up.
01:04:57 Here, Alan.
01:04:58 Relax.
01:05:00 No cigars in the house.
01:05:02 You got your Hoyo de Montero.
01:05:04 You got your Partagas D number four.
01:05:06 You got your Hoyo Coronacion.
01:05:08 Where did you get these?
01:05:09 You don't want to know.
01:05:11 Seriously.
01:05:12 The Spanish Connection.
01:05:13 My cookware guy is going out with a flight attendant.
01:05:17 She brings home like two boxes a week.
01:05:19 You can't smoke in a house with an asthmatic child.
01:05:23 Why are you telling him your whole life story?
01:05:25 Who has asthma?
01:05:26 Our son.
01:05:27 We had a goddamn hamster, didn't we?
01:05:29 Oh, that's true.
01:05:30 Pets aren't good when you're asthmatic.
01:05:32 Yeah.
01:05:32 Not good at all.
01:05:34 Even goldfish aren't necessarily recommended.
01:05:37 Do I have to listen to this crap?
01:05:40 I guess I'm the only one that doesn't see things with a pleasant serenity.
01:05:44 The truth is, I've never been so unhappy.
01:05:49 This is the unhappiest day of my life.
01:05:51 You're an unhappy drunk.
01:05:52 Michael, every word out of your mouth just slays me.
01:05:58 I don't get drunk.
01:06:00 I had a couple of sips of your shitty 18-year-old single malt that you trot out
01:06:06 like it's the 18th wonder of the world.
01:06:09 I don't get drunk.
01:06:10 I wish I could, believe me.
01:06:13 I wish I could.
01:06:13 I wish I could just drown every last sorrow in a good stiff drink.
01:06:18 My husband is unhappy too.
01:06:22 Look at him all hunched over like he was left on the side of the road.
01:06:28 I think this is the unhappiest day of his life too.
01:06:32 It is.
01:06:33 I'm sorry, Doodle.
01:06:35 [phone ringing]
01:06:46 Hello?
01:06:47 Yeah.
01:06:49 Hello?
01:06:50 Mom!
01:06:52 I told you we have company, remember?
01:06:54 Because it's medication that can kill you.
01:07:01 It's poison.
01:07:01 No, Mom, Mom.
01:07:04 There's someone here who can explain.
01:07:06 Here, tell her.
01:07:08 Tell her what?
01:07:10 Tell her what you know about that poisonous shit of yours.
01:07:12 What can he tell her?
01:07:15 He doesn't know anything.
01:07:16 Hello, ma'am.
01:07:21 How are you?
01:07:21 I'm alright for now.
01:07:23 Do you want me to take you on land?
01:07:25 No.
01:07:26 My operation's a week away.
01:07:28 Yeah, are you in pain?
01:07:29 I can't be on my feet, Doc.
01:07:32 Yeah, well, then.
01:07:34 The operation will fix that.
01:07:35 Oh, the other leg too, huh?
01:07:40 No, I'm not an orthopedic.
01:07:43 She keeps calling me Doctor.
01:07:46 Doctor?
01:07:48 What a laugh.
01:07:48 Hang up.
01:07:50 Yeah.
01:07:52 Oh, well, um, do you have any balance issues?
01:07:56 Yeah.
01:08:00 No.
01:08:02 Of course not.
01:08:03 Not at all, Cack.
01:08:04 Don't listen to what people say.
01:08:06 It might be a good idea not to take it for a while.
01:08:10 Just until this operation's behind you.
01:08:14 Yeah, it sounds like you're in excellent shape.
01:08:22 Alright, alright, you got that, Ma?
01:08:24 You stop taking that medication.
01:08:26 Just do as you're told.
01:08:28 Alright?
01:08:30 I love you.
01:08:31 I can't take her anymore.
01:08:32 The shit I put up with.
01:08:35 Alright, should we wrap this up?
01:08:37 Should I come back here tonight with Zach, we let's decide.
01:08:41 This is getting to be like, who cares?
01:08:43 That is what we're here for, after all.
01:08:45 Now I'm gonna be sick.
01:08:47 Where's that bucket?
01:08:48 That's enough, that's enough.
01:08:53 No.
01:08:53 That's enough.
01:08:54 I'd say both sides share the blame.
01:08:57 So, there you are.
01:09:00 Both sides share the blame.
01:09:02 Are you serious?
01:09:04 Excuse me?
01:09:06 That's what you really think?
01:09:08 It's what I think, yes.
01:09:11 My son, Ethan, who had to take two codeine at three in the morning, he shares the blame?
01:09:16 He's not necessarily innocent.
01:09:18 Get out of my house.
01:09:20 You get the fuck out.
01:09:21 Get the fuck out of my house.
01:09:23 Let me in!
01:09:25 Get the fuck out of my house.
01:09:27 My bag!
01:09:28 My bag!
01:09:28 Alan!
01:09:31 What is going on here?
01:09:32 They've totally lost it.
01:09:33 Alan!
01:09:34 Do something!
01:09:36 Alan, do something!
01:09:37 Shut your mouth!
01:09:38 She put my makeup mirror and my perfume.
01:09:43 Stand up for me.
01:09:45 Why don't you stand up for me?
01:09:47 Let's go, Nancy.
01:09:51 It's not like I'm strangling her.
01:09:52 Well, what did I do to you?
01:09:55 The blame is not shared.
01:09:56 The victim and the criminal are not the same.
01:10:00 The criminal!
01:10:02 Give it a fucking rest, Penelope.
01:10:04 Enough with this politically correct bullshit.
01:10:06 Which I believe in.
01:10:08 You believe.
01:10:09 You believe.
01:10:10 This crush you got on these Sudan sambos is spilling over into everything now.
01:10:15 I'm horrified.
01:10:16 How could you be so openly despicable?
01:10:19 Because I feel like it.
01:10:21 I feel like being openly despicable.
01:10:24 One day you will understand the sheer horror of what's happening in that part of the world
01:10:28 and you will be ashamed.
01:10:29 You will be ashamed of your contemptibly nihilistic attitude.
01:10:33 Yes, Darjeeling, you're so wonderful.
01:10:37 You're the best and the brightest.
01:10:40 Yes, I am.
01:10:41 Yes, I am.
01:10:43 Let's get out of here, Alan.
01:10:45 These people are monsters.
01:10:46 Stop it, Nancy.
01:10:49 No, no, no.
01:10:50 I want to drink some more.
01:10:52 I want to get drunk off my ass.
01:10:55 This bitch throws my bag against the ceiling.
01:10:58 Nobody lifts a finger.
01:10:59 I want to be blind drunk.
01:11:01 You're drunk enough.
01:11:02 How can you let her call our son a criminal?
01:11:05 We come over here to work things out with them and they insult us, they browbeat us,
01:11:12 they lecture us about being good citizens of the planet.
01:11:15 I am glad our son kicked the shit out of your son
01:11:19 and I wipe my ass with your human rights.
01:11:23 Wow.
01:11:23 Get a couple drinks in her and bam, her true self comes out.
01:11:29 What happened to that gracious demure woman with the soft eyes?
01:11:33 I told you, I told you.
01:11:35 What did you tell him?
01:11:36 She's a fake.
01:11:38 That woman is totally fake.
01:11:39 I'm sorry.
01:11:40 When did you say that?
01:11:42 When you were drying your pants.
01:11:43 You'd known her 15 minutes and you already knew she was fake?
01:11:47 Well, I pick up on these things pretty quickly.
01:11:50 She does.
01:11:50 I got a nose for them.
01:11:51 Fake? What does that mean?
01:11:53 I don't want to listen to this.
01:11:55 Why do you put me through this, Alan?
01:11:58 Relax, Nancy.
01:11:59 She's a phony.
01:12:00 She doesn't care any more than you do.
01:12:03 True.
01:12:03 That's true.
01:12:04 It's true.
01:12:05 He said it's true.
01:12:06 They don't give a shit.
01:12:07 It's so obvious right from the beginning.
01:12:10 They don't give a shit.
01:12:11 She doesn't give a shit either.
01:12:14 It's true.
01:12:14 Like you do.
01:12:16 Let him talk, honey.
01:12:17 Explain to me, Michael, exactly how you care.
01:12:21 What does that mean anyway?
01:12:22 You're more credible when you're being openly despicable.
01:12:25 Truth is, nobody here cares.
01:12:27 Except maybe Penelope.
01:12:29 One must acknowledge her integrity.
01:12:31 I don't need your acknowledgement.
01:12:32 I don't need your acknowledgement.
01:12:35 But I do care.
01:12:36 I really do care.
01:12:38 You stool the weak here in a hysterical way.
01:12:41 Not like heroic figures of a social movement.
01:12:45 I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day.
01:12:48 Made me want to run out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.
01:12:52 My friend Jane Fonda?
01:12:55 What does that mean?
01:12:57 What the hell does that mean?
01:12:58 You're the same breed.
01:12:59 The same kind of involved problem solver woman.
01:13:03 Those are not the women we like.
01:13:05 The women we like are sensual, crazy, shot full of hormones.
01:13:09 The gatekeepers of the world.
01:13:11 The ones who want to show off how perceptive they are.
01:13:14 Huge turn off.
01:13:16 Even poor Michael, your own husband's turned off.
01:13:21 Don't you speak for me.
01:13:22 We don't give a shit what women you like.
01:13:25 Where do you get off just spouting these opinions?
01:13:28 You are that one man whose opinion we don't give a shit about.
01:13:31 She's screaming.
01:13:33 Quartermaster on a slave ship.
01:13:37 She doesn't scream.
01:13:38 She didn't just scream that your little asshole was right to beat up ours.
01:13:44 He was right.
01:13:45 At least our kid isn't a little wimpy ass faggot.
01:13:49 Yours is a fucking snitch.
01:13:52 Let's go, Alan.
01:13:55 Why are we still in this house exactly?
01:13:59 Here.
01:14:02 This is what I think of you stupid tulips.
01:14:06 And his flowers.
01:14:11 This is the worst day of my life too.
01:14:15 [Burp]
01:14:17 [Alarm clock]
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