Jersey Jerry’s Wild Week Started With A Terrible Bet | Stool Scenes

  • 9 months ago
El Presidente | Stool Scenes

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00:00 Jerry was at the hotel this morning and got a hot tip.
00:02 They were like, insisting that they were gonna win the game.
00:05 Everyone and their fucking grandparents are on this.
00:08 They convinced me that they were gonna win.
00:10 But this was a bad idea.
00:11 You've got $500 on this?
00:12 Is that too much?
00:13 Yeah!
00:14 You told me it's a lot!
00:15 I hope they get fucking gutted today.
00:18 You've been on a team for Coachella, that's a fucking music festival, dude.
00:22 [Music]
00:27 [Music]
00:31 You're telling me you wouldn't want to do that?
00:34 Why not?
00:35 Give it up!
00:38 Give it up, guys!
00:39 I can do that shit.
00:41 Did you do that?
00:43 No.
00:44 What a crazy thing to ask.
00:46 I said I wanted to do it and Jack was like, why would you ever want to do that?
00:49 That'd be awesome.
00:50 I'm good on the ground.
00:52 Or like below ground even.
00:53 Didn't you just say not to stand on this?
00:55 Me?
00:56 Someone just said that.
00:57 They just painted it.
00:58 Where's my one?
00:59 They painted it.
01:00 You know what, fuck it.
01:01 I don't give a shit.
01:02 It's not mine.
01:03 Fuck it up.
01:04 Fuck it up.
01:05 Who cares about this, right?
01:06 This is the energy you have.
01:07 Who cares?
01:08 Fuck this.
01:09 This is the energy you have.
01:10 Bro, Coachella Valley, come on.
01:11 These guys, they're all haters.
01:13 I don't know what the opinion of the audience is, but these guys I work with are haters,
01:16 they're toxic, they're gaslighting me, they're trying to get me mad, and it's working.
01:19 That's all I've got to say, that's all I've got to say.
01:24 Really?
01:25 Let me get one more.
01:26 Jerry said if I get it through the uprights he'll then mow me a thousand.
01:30 Yeah, sure.
01:31 A thousand?
01:32 Sure.
01:33 No toe.
01:34 No toe.
01:35 I'm done, I'm done.
01:36 Yeah.
01:37 Yeah.
01:38 I'm better at punting.
01:39 Hold one, hold one.
01:40 I'm going to crush this.
01:41 Oh, yeah.
01:42 Yeah.
01:43 Yeah.
01:44 Oh, yeah.
01:45 Yeah.
01:47 Oh, yeah.
01:49 There we go.
01:51 El Camino, we need El Camino.
01:53 El Camino.
01:54 There we go.
01:55 That's special teams right there, baby.
01:57 Let's go.
01:58 Jerry was at the hotel this morning, he got a hot tip from the hockey team.
02:02 The AHL Coachella Valley Firebirds are staying in the same hotel as us.
02:08 He's like, "What are you guys here for?"
02:10 And they're like, "Oh, we're a hockey team.
02:12 We're here to play hockey in Tucson."
02:14 And they said, "Listen, the line's even.
02:16 We're going to beat the shit out of these guys."
02:18 They were like insisting that they were going to win the game.
02:21 One kid's like, "I'm a fourth round NHL draft pick."
02:24 Now we have pretty much everyone here collectively has money on it.
02:28 Kyle on the phone over there just put $200.
02:30 Lisa's got $500.
02:32 Our security Mike's got $1,000.
02:34 Jersey Jerry's got $2,200.
02:36 Everyone and their fucking grandparents are on this.
02:39 And we're going to be center ice.
02:40 Granted, they'll probably--
02:41 No, we're not center ice.
02:42 We're not center ice.
02:43 We're going to center ice.
02:44 You asked?
02:45 What do you mean?
02:46 There's not going to be any--
02:47 No, relax.
02:48 I got what we can get.
02:49 That's it.
02:50 Are we like nosebleeds?
02:51 We might be.
02:52 Section 200-something.
02:53 200-something?
02:54 Yeah.
02:55 Nosebleeds are way challenging.
02:56 You know what?
02:57 Fuck it.
02:58 I'm fine with that.
02:59 I like that better.
03:00 I'm fine with that.
03:01 I'm fine with that.
03:02 Lisa, how much you got on it?
03:03 $500.
03:04 Yeah, which is one unit for--
03:05 You've got $500 on this?
03:06 Is that too much?
03:07 Yeah.
03:08 You told me.
03:09 You told me to bet.
03:10 You told me it's a lot.
03:11 It's a guy in the loft.
03:12 It's a lot.
03:13 No, you're good.
03:14 You're good.
03:15 They were going to make it.
03:16 I know.
03:17 It's a lot.
03:18 It's a lot.
03:19 I bought into it.
03:20 They were very enthusiastic.
03:21 They knew.
03:22 To me, they convinced me that they were going to win.
03:23 Why is Jack hating on the bet?
03:24 Why are you hating on the bet?
03:25 Also, this team is going to get smacked.
03:26 Coach, how the fuck Thunderbirds-Junglers just hits a zero?
03:27 There is no chance.
03:28 There's no way all of us bet one thing and it fucking hits.
03:29 Jersey-Jerry definitely already cashed out.
03:30 That's why I took the spread.
03:31 Minus one and a half plus 220.
03:32 You were right.
03:33 I was right.
03:34 I was right.
03:36 I've been in like two hockey games, so I can't say I am, but I love them.
03:45 They're great.
03:46 I just remember being cold.
03:47 I'm a little worried about that.
03:48 But this was a bad idea.
03:49 You're giving everyone a beautiful gift.
03:50 True.
03:51 That's a good point.
03:52 We're all going to celebrate tonight.
03:53 Everyone's going to the game.
03:54 37 tickets.
03:55 We're going to have a great time.
03:56 Yeah.
03:57 I hope so.
03:58 Or it could just be them being fans and being like, bet on us.
03:59 And they're just bad.
04:00 I'm going to bet on them.
04:01 I'm going to bet on them.
04:02 I'm going to bet on them.
04:03 I'm going to bet on them.
04:04 I'm going to bet on them.
04:05 I'm going to bet on them.
04:06 I'm going to bet on them.
04:07 I'm going to bet on them.
04:08 I'm going to bet on them.
04:09 I'm going to bet on them.
04:10 I'm going to bet on them.
04:11 I'm going to bet on them.
04:12 I'm going to bet on them.
04:13 I'm going to bet on them.
04:14 I'm going to bet on them.
04:15 I'm going to bet on them.
04:16 I'm going to bet on them.
04:17 I'm going to bet on them.
04:18 I'm going to bet on them.
04:19 I'm going to bet on them.
04:20 I'm going to bet on them.
04:21 I'm going to bet on them.
04:22 I'm going to bet on them.
04:23 I'm going to bet on them.
04:24 I'm going to bet on them.
04:25 I'm going to bet on them.
04:27 [laughter]
04:29 Famous last words.
04:30 I might put another $2,200 on it.
04:32 [laughter]
04:33 It didn't work out.
04:34 They got killed.
04:35 We all lost our money.
04:36 And the lesson I learned was if you are in a hotel lobby
04:41 and there's a bunch of kids saying they're going to win
04:43 a hockey game, it's all bullshit.
04:45 I can win on my-- I can lose games on my own.
04:47 I don't need them to help me.
04:48 So that was a lesson we learned, and that was it.
04:50 He's killing me.
04:51 He's killing me.
04:52 The only reason that I'm not in matter than I should be
04:55 is that I've been killing it in bowl season, so he's lucky.
04:58 I mean, he's suspended from advisors next week.
05:01 I know.
05:03 I don't even think he wants his job back in advisors,
05:05 which makes me even more sad.
05:06 I want you to have a fight.
05:08 By the way, I've already decided what we're going to do
05:10 for advisors.
05:11 You're going to sit in the corner in front of the green screen,
05:14 and we're going to make-- Quig's going to make a doghouse.
05:17 So you're going to sit there and lick your paw like this.
05:22 Clean yourself.
05:24 You've been on a team from Coachella.
05:25 That's a fucking music festival, dude.
05:29 Those kids were-- my-- was in their throat, right?
05:32 Those hockey players?
05:33 Yeah.
05:34 That's why-- that's why you were in the betting.
05:36 They said we're going to blow this team out.
05:38 Dan, I'm not saying-- I'm not saying I would have done what Jerry did.
05:40 We walked in there, and like eight hockey players
05:43 just surrounded him all of a sudden.
05:45 And I was like, Jer-- Jersey Jerry's the biggest star in the world.
05:48 They tried to impress you, but they didn't actually care about you making money.
05:52 Yeah, but I don't understand.
05:53 Where are you Coachella Firebirds?
05:55 When I saw that you bet $2,000--
05:56 Knowing why you did it, I was like-- I don't know, man.
06:01 It cost Mike $1,000.
06:03 No, it cost Big Cat $10,000.
06:05 $10,000.
06:07 It cost Lisa $500.
06:09 It cost--
06:10 That's all Mike.
06:11 Mike was there and saw the whole thing.
06:12 He knew why you bet it.
06:13 He shouldn't have-- he shouldn't have done that.
06:15 Any gambler is going to bet that.
06:17 Any gambler is going to bet that.
06:19 I don't care what anybody says.
06:21 Coachella Firebirds on their Twitter.
06:24 Two minutes.
06:26 Tucson scored.
06:27 They take a 1-0 lead.
06:28 One minute later.
06:30 Well, they score again.
06:31 2-0 them.
06:32 33 seconds after that, make that 3-0.
06:36 The game started at 7.
06:37 It was like 7-0-4.
06:39 And he said, it's 3-0 already.
06:41 So now I'm flying to the game.
06:42 I'm like, it's not possible.
06:43 I get to the game.
06:44 I walk in.
06:45 Yeah, it's 3-0.
06:46 I'll die with this take.
06:49 We won that game.
06:51 I was so smart not jumping on your hockey.
06:53 Oh, yeah.
06:55 That was good call.
06:56 I'll tell you that.
06:57 When he told me to score, I got confused.
06:59 I didn't know what sport he was talking about.
07:01 Because it was 3-- I was like, when's the game start?
07:03 He's like, it starts in a second.
07:04 I'm like-- and then he's like, it's 3-0.
07:06 I thought it was basketball.
07:07 I thought someone hit an opening 3.
07:10 They scored three goals in two minutes.
07:12 I didn't even know the game started.
07:14 And I clicked on it.
07:15 And it was 2-0.
07:16 I was jumping, and as I was clicked on it, it went to 3.
07:20 I mean, we won the game, though.
07:22 Like, 57 minutes of it, we won.
07:24 It's starting to sound like Bosco with this, Dave.
07:26 Saying 57 minutes, they won.
07:28 If it wasn't for the coin flip.
07:30 Sometimes it goes like that.
07:32 Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win.
07:33 Security might get us beside himself.
07:35 OK, what would you have done?
07:38 Well, come on, Dave.
07:39 What would you have done?
07:40 Be real.
07:41 I didn't touch it.
07:42 The whole team surrounding you--
07:43 I didn't touch it.
07:44 --take us.
07:45 Yeah, but you should have kept it to yourself.
07:47 You lit a fire under the other guys.
07:49 That's true.
07:51 You gave them balls and more material.
07:53 Oh, the guy that got that DM to you?
07:54 Yeah.
07:55 They were just as fired up.
07:57 Oh, more, more.
07:58 Yeah, right.
07:59 He's a big stool.
08:00 He's been forever, that guy.
08:01 Oh, really?
08:02 Yeah, he played for the Bruins, went to Michigan.
08:03 I've known him forever.
08:05 So you lit a fire under his ass.
08:08 Toledo, it's Wyoming.
08:10 It should be a great game here in Arizona.
08:13 One, two, three, four, five.
08:17 I don't want to be rude.
08:18 I'm just saying.
08:19 Yeah, you got pizza for me?
08:20 I got a pizza for you.
08:21 You made it?
08:22 I made it, and I'm confident that you're going to like it.
08:25 Oh, straight down.
08:28 So this is just what, you made it downstairs?
08:30 So OK, here's the thing.
08:31 I didn't have the time to make the crust.
08:33 So the crust is already pre-made, but I made the sauce
08:37 and put it together.
08:39 Have you ever watched a pizza review of mine?
08:40 Yes, I do.
08:41 I follow you on YouTube.
08:42 What is this?
08:43 Instagram.
08:44 It's a pepperoni-- OK, so it's three cheese.
08:47 It's pepperoni, bacon.
08:49 It's mozzarella, fresh mozzarella.
08:52 I know for a fact--
08:53 He loves pepperoni.
08:54 OK, I know for a fact he doesn't like Neapolitan.
08:57 Well, I've done like 10,000 of these.
08:59 I've never had a topping.
09:00 Are you qualified to rate this type of pizza?
09:02 No.
09:03 He's never eaten this kind of pizza before.
09:06 And I never would.
09:07 OK.
09:10 No.
09:11 Give it a shot.
09:12 It's just not my style.
09:27 It's not you, it's him.
09:28 No, that's good.
09:29 Yeah, because I only eat cheese.
09:32 So I would never-- like, I don't like all the stuff you have on this pizza.
09:36 OK.
09:37 Having said that, you know, it's bad.
09:43 OK.
09:44 Two eight.
09:51 Two eight, OK.
09:52 Is he still here?
09:53 Is he still here?
09:54 It's not you, it's me.
09:55 Because I just--
09:56 It's not your kind of pizza.
09:57 It's not even--
09:58 See, and I try to do--
09:59 You can't watch my pizza reviews if this is what you make me.
10:03 Because I only eat cheese.
10:06 I've never had anything but cheese.
10:08 I know that you do try different kinds of pizzas.
10:11 Not really.
10:12 Like, I don't know what you mean by that.
10:16 I know your big one is--
10:17 What do you have on it?
10:18 Bacon pepperoni.
10:20 Yeah, if you like the cheese--
10:22 The cheese probably killed it.
10:24 It's good.
10:25 Yeah, see?
10:26 It's just not my style.
10:27 I'm a cheese guy, and everyone knows that, so I couldn't fluff it up.
10:30 But I do appreciate you taking them.
10:32 People eat it here.
10:33 It's just not my--
10:34 Yeah, if you guys want it, you can.
10:35 Can I get a picture with you?
10:36 Of course, of course.
10:37 When you said, "That being said, it's bad."
10:41 [laughter]
10:42 I was like, "Oh, no."
10:43 What do you do?
10:44 That I want to eat at, like--
10:45 It's tough.
10:49 I don't know that he's right that he saw me eat pepperoni.
10:51 I know, and then he tries to pull from old videos.
10:54 Did he just get in because he had a pizza?
10:56 Is that better than a press pass?
10:59 This is why you play the game, to make it to the Arizona Bowl.
11:04 Hey, guys, I'm kicking right now.
11:06 All right, man.
11:07 All right.
11:08 Football in my field.
11:09 It's little money.
11:11 Practicing kicks.
11:13 Practicing holds.
11:14 Holds, kicks, yeah.
11:15 So all my guys are kicking.
11:16 You got to get off the field.
11:17 Yeah.
11:18 Okay, get off.
11:19 Okay.
11:20 See, that also tells me maybe bet Wyoming because he's so locked in.
11:24 Is that the coach that's retiring?
11:25 Yeah.
11:27 He's taking it pretty seriously.
11:28 I hope they get fucking gutted today.
11:33 He's trying to ice you before the big game.
11:35 I mean, it's our last year doing this, right?
11:37 So pretty much everything's good.
11:39 Yeah, everything's good, right?
11:40 Yeah.
11:42 Just keep me on Wyoming's sideline, that's all.
11:45 [music]
11:49 Taking Wyoming money line.
11:51 I'm going to be on their sideline.
11:53 Jack Mack, my football guy, is saying Wyoming minus 4.5.
11:57 Jerry's also on Toledo.
11:59 This is the last time we spoke.
12:01 We were talking about his hockey pick.
12:02 We all know.
12:03 We've seen how that worked out.
12:05 So I'm going to fade his college football pick.
12:07 Yesterday, TJ and I were watching, and the guy fell down.
12:12 They came in fucking hot.
12:14 Did they win any fall today?
12:15 No, they were on that game today.
12:16 [cheering]
12:23 Brody from Gilbert, Arizona.
12:25 Arizona kids, he said no problem.
12:27 No problem.
12:29 How many drinks in are we right now?
12:31 Three or four.
12:32 If I drink some water, eat some nachos, I'm ready.
12:35 If he makes it, he's by himself in Alcamina.
12:38 But if he hits the upright, I have to buy Jerry an Alcamina.
12:41 I'm not hitting the post.
12:42 You've got to hit the post.
12:43 I'm not going to hit the post.
12:44 I've got to get a PS5.
12:45 No, I'm going to get a PS5.
12:47 I need a PS5 for the boys.
12:48 If you hit the post, I'll get you a PS5.
12:49 There you go.
12:50 Fuck, I've got to hit the post.
12:51 What the fuck, Taylor?
12:52 Hey, hey, hey.
12:53 That's not the question.
12:54 All the way.
12:55 Disclaimer, I will not buy the PS5.
12:56 I will not buy the PS5.
12:58 If he hits the post and it goes in, then I've got to get him a PS5 and him an Alcamina.
13:04 Go, go, go, Parker.
13:07 Go, go, go, Parker.
13:10 All right.
13:13 It's your time now, Parker.
13:14 It's a shoot.
13:16 Press for a kickoff.
13:20 Oh, no.
13:22 Oh, no.
13:24 Oh, no.
13:27 Oh, no.
13:29 Oh, no.
13:42 I was begging for the crossbar.
13:44 It was so close.
13:46 I should have pressed it harder on the ground.
13:48 It might have tipped it.
13:49 It might have tipped it.
13:52 No, no, no, no.
13:53 No tip, no tip, no tip.
13:55 That shit went in.
13:56 That shit went in.
13:59 That was fucking awesome, dude.
14:01 That shit almost hit the crossbar.
14:03 I really thought it was going to hit the crossbar.
14:05 God damn.
14:07 It might have tipped it.
14:08 That was like a--
14:09 No, it didn't.
14:10 No, it didn't.
14:11 It tipped it.
14:13 Made it by a foot.
14:14 By a foot.
14:15 That was like narrow.
14:17 That was awesome.
14:19 Less than one foot.
14:20 I think it tipped, Jeff.
14:21 Me too.
14:22 PFT.
14:23 No, no, no.
14:24 Everybody's saying that.
14:25 No, no one's saying that.
14:26 Watch, watch.
14:28 That's a bad angle.
14:29 That's a fake angle.
14:32 He's going to have an old 22 angle on that.
14:35 I mean a side angle.
14:37 Caleb just straight up bullied me.
14:39 I was going to do it anyways, but Caleb was like,
14:41 so you're not getting a member of the United States military
14:44 serving overseas a PlayStation.
14:46 I was going to do it anyways, but he really--
14:48 he forced my hand.
14:50 [cheering]
15:01 All right, it's 2024 here at Barstool Sports.
15:03 We're going to be our fucking balls off this year.
15:05 We're going to have a lot of fun.
15:07 We're going to make a lot of great memories, a lot of great content.
15:09 Love this place.
15:10 Ooh, kill 'em.
15:12 What are your New Year's resolutions?
15:14 Well, number one, bring back--
15:15 Ooh, kill 'em.
15:17 I feel like I'm doing that pretty well.
15:19 Figure out what the word "ancillary" or "ancillary" means.
15:22 Use it.
15:23 Don't drink unless I want to drink.
15:26 It feels attainable.
15:28 Oh, I want to eat better.
15:30 I want to get in shape, and I want to lose my virginity.
15:32 The regular people like myself, yeah, no resolutions.
15:36 Enjoy the year.
15:37 Enjoy each day.
15:38 Have fun.
15:41 What do you got?
15:42 Trying to read 30 Minutes a Night,
15:44 starting off a little series called The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
15:47 Chronicles of Narnia, no big deal.
15:49 Maybe stumble upon buried treasure if I can.
15:53 Don't go crazy, don't exert myself looking for it.
15:55 Not let the Yankees ruin my life as much as they do normally.
15:59 I'm never the problem, so I think that I'm pretty good.
16:02 I might try to stop having depression this year.
16:06 That's it, I think I'm pretty good.
16:08 No.
16:09 No more bullshit anyway.
16:11 Try to make an art masterpiece.
16:13 Throw some fucking paint splatter on a whiteboard.
16:16 I had a pretty good year last year with self-discovery.
16:19 I think this year is another year of I'm going to go back self-destruction
16:22 that will come back in 2025.
16:23 Do you have any New Year's resolutions?
16:28 Sanity and the Phillies to win the World Series.
16:31 One is to eat more scallion pancakes.
16:33 I just found out what those are, and they are phenomenal.
16:35 I was just thinking about this.
16:37 I'm pretty good.
16:39 I've got nothing really bad.
16:41 Maybe text people back a little.
16:45 I want to learn something new.
16:47 Landscaping techniques.
16:50 I don't know.
16:51 I want to eat a pear.
16:53 I haven't eaten a pear in years, and I love pears.
16:55 We're doing a skit, and it's an office setting,
16:59 so I can't wear a hat in a skit.
17:01 I'm going to have to stick it down my head so it doesn't look that bad.
17:07 You find out you're on Epstein Island on the list.
17:14 I was always thinking, what if you just were on the list on accident?
17:18 You had a layover there, or you just went for a nice vacation,
17:21 and they got a nice water slide there or something.
17:24 That would be insane.
17:27 I feel like you could be on the list on accident.
17:29 Think what?
17:31 You could be on the Epstein list on accident.
17:37 You guys come in, I'm making coffee, and they're like, "What's your middle name?"
17:42 I'm like, "You're on the Epstein list."
17:44 I'm like, "What?
17:46 Fuck."
17:49 It's probably the Pedophile Island trip.
17:53 You went to Pedophile Island?
17:55 When I go to Boston, I'm like, "Where's the boss who's made of tin?"
18:00 That's the worst example I've ever heard.
18:02 Then, "All right, well, how about Greenland?
18:04 Greenland's ice. Iceland's green.
18:06 Pedophile Island. I didn't think there were pedophiles on it."
18:11 They'd be like, "Yeah, that's actually a good point. You should stick with that."
18:14 Then it kind of flips to where I'm like, "It's kind of weird, though, right?"
18:19 You guys are like, "What? They didn't even tell me about it."
18:22 I'm upset that I didn't get asked to fuck against.
18:27 So, like that?
18:32 A little tight.
18:35 It's not that ugly, right?
18:39 Fuck. Yes, you are ugly.
18:42 That's why they weren't fucking the kids with you, you sick fuck.
18:45 You're on the list.
18:46 I'm not too fat to fuck a kid. I can fuck a kid.
18:52 What?
18:55 Huge celebrities. Bill Gates.
18:58 He's on it?
18:59 Yeah.
19:00 Fucking knew it, man.
19:01 Scumbag. Scumbag.
19:03 Bury every single one of them under the jail.
19:05 No joke, this thing, jam 'em right in the throat. You see this?
19:08 There's also Bill Gates.
19:10 Yeah.
19:11 Fuck.
19:14 Lucas, listen, I'm going to say this one time.
19:19 Just, I don't need updates on Steffan.
19:23 Just figure it out. Sunday, figure it out, and we go from there.
19:27 I don't need no flim flam, "Oh, this guy's doing a favor for you."
19:30 Just figure it out, and we stream Sunday.
19:33 I don't need to hear remorse shit, like, "Oh, this guy's doing a favor for you on his day off."
19:37 Just figure it out, okay?
19:40 Oh, okay. Alright, so just...
19:44 Alright. Alright.
19:48 Just figure it out, and that's it. Sunday.
19:51 That's it. Goodbye.
19:54 Is this for video-- to play video games?
19:56 No.
19:57 Oh. Sorry.
19:58 I stepped away.
19:59 No.
20:00 Fill me in.
20:01 For the Steeler stream.
20:02 Oh, 'cause I'm reading it.
20:03 Yeah.
20:04 Okay.
20:05 I'm gonna text all, "This guy, this is a favor."
20:08 What, do I have to give the guy money?
20:10 You got a phone?
20:12 You got a phone?
20:13 What kind of phone?
20:14 Just a phone?
20:15 Yeah, I got a phone.
20:16 You can stream?
20:17 Go live.
20:18 Yeah, but Twitter quality's bad, right?
20:20 No.
20:22 You can do it on YouTube, right?
20:24 Yeah, you can go live on YouTube.
20:26 Yeah, on your phone?
20:28 But Lucas Scott.
20:30 Yeah, Lucas Scott.
20:31 Figure it out.
20:32 Figure it out.
20:33 [♪♪♪]
20:35 [♪♪♪]
20:37 [♪♪♪]
20:39 (upbeat music)
20:42 (upbeat music)

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