Curb Your Enthusiasm_ Larry David's Top 7 OUTLANDISH Social Rules
Curb Your Enthusiasm_ Larry David's Top 7 OUTLANDISH Social Rules
Transcript
00:00 [coughing]
00:04 No.
00:05 No.
00:06 Larry David is the king of observational comedy.
00:09 Use this fellow, this poor innocent fellow,
00:11 to sneak into the light.
00:13 He's also an expert when it comes
00:14 to cringe social interactions.
00:16 [sobbing]
00:17 Hey, hey, hey.
00:18 Come on.
00:19 Come on.
00:20 It's way too loud.
00:20 OK.
00:21 OK.
00:22 To celebrate the 12th and final season of Larry's antics
00:25 on "Curb Your Enthusiasm," ET is breaking down the comedian's
00:29 seven most outlandish rules when it comes to everyday behavior.
00:33 Wow, entertainment tonight.
00:35 We're really-- we're really going for it now.
00:39 Birthday!
00:40 Birthday!
00:42 Birthday, birthday guy.
00:44 Kicking us off at number seven, the ice cream sample abuser.
00:48 Yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like.
00:50 In Larry's world, there's limitations
00:52 to trying new flavors.
00:54 You know, you're like a sample abuser.
00:55 That's what you are.
00:56 What's the matter with you?
00:57 You're abusing your sampling privileges.
00:58 What do you think I have these little spoons for?
01:00 One sample, two samples the most.
01:01 You can't just go on sample after sample.
01:03 Yes, yes, I can.
01:04 No, you can't.
01:04 You know what?
01:06 I'm just going to have the plain vanilla, please.
01:07 Thank you.
01:08 Oh, a decision's been made.
01:10 Oh, enjoy.
01:11 I think Larry really captures people's inner truth, what
01:15 you want to say in social situations that are ridiculous.
01:19 But you don't because you're a nice person.
01:22 But Larry David is not a nice person.
01:25 So you're calling me a pig.
01:27 A pig Parker.
01:28 At number six, Larry breaks down the pure chaos
01:31 that follows being a pig Parker in a parking lot,
01:34 someone who parks their car outside the lines.
01:37 You're a foot over the line.
01:39 You're taking up two spaces.
01:40 And the next car is also going to be taking up two spaces.
01:43 Then you're going to leave.
01:44 And then that car is going to get blamed.
01:46 Society can't function like this.
01:47 Here's an idea.
01:48 Why don't you mind your own business?
01:50 Well, I suppose that's an idea, and not a very good one,
01:52 though.
01:54 I think Larry says what everybody's thinking,
01:55 but is afraid to say.
01:56 We're all acting out everybody's subconscious
01:58 for them in different ways.
02:00 And I think it's tremendously releasing and cathartic.
02:03 Have a real nice day.
02:04 OK, I will.
02:06 I'm sure you will, too, at everyone else's expense.
02:07 Yeah.
02:08 Yeah, I will.
02:09 I will.
02:10 When it comes to restaurant etiquette,
02:12 Larry has a very specific set of rules,
02:14 even if you're a Seinfeld alum like Jason Alexander.
02:17 Let's coordinate the tip here.
02:19 Why?
02:21 Well, when you split the check, we
02:22 both have the exact same bill.
02:24 So why don't we need the same thing?
02:26 So one of us doesn't look like an idiot.
02:27 You've been wonderful.
02:28 Thank you very much.
02:29 You're not going to tell me what you left?
02:31 Is that it?
02:32 And if you go against the rules of tip coordination,
02:34 Larry has no problem returning to the restaurant
02:36 for the answer.
02:38 Scratch your face with your finger if it was over $12.
02:40 I could really get in trouble with my--
02:41 Nobody even knows what we're talking about.
02:42 Scratch your face with your finger
02:43 if it was over $12.
02:44 Go ahead.
02:45 Just scratch it.
02:46 Is it over $12?
02:48 Oh, for God's sake.
02:50 If you're going to cut the line, make sure it's not
02:52 in front of LD, because he will make an example out of you.
02:56 Congratulations on a great attempt at a chat and cut.
03:00 Really good.
03:01 99 times out of 100, that's going to work.
03:03 Unfortunately, I happen to be on the line, so--
03:07 OK.
03:08 I don't know what you're talking about.
03:09 I just saw my friend.
03:10 I know a chat and cut when I see it.
03:12 OK. All right.
03:13 Use this fellow, this poor, innocent fellow,
03:15 to sneak into the line.
03:16 We get a chance to play over-exaggerated versions
03:20 of these crazy people.
03:21 And some people love to see, man.
03:24 Larry's got some firm laws when it comes to dining out,
03:27 and portion size is one of them.
03:30 You're really going to town on that caviar.
03:32 It's the best caviar they could possibly get.
03:34 It's unbelievable. - I know.
03:35 What do you think of me?
03:36 Pass this up?
03:37 I think you're going over your allotment a little bit, no?
03:39 My allotment?
03:40 You know, we're each entitled to take a certain amount,
03:43 so everybody else can have a little bit too.
03:47 Feels like you're going over.
03:49 Well, it's good that you're here to patrol the hors d'oeuvre
03:52 area.
03:53 Yeah.
03:54 In a later season, LD gained an ally in Jon Hamm
03:57 when someone got greedy with a shared appetizer.
04:00 We ordered this kind of for the table,
04:02 and I feel like you've gone way over your appetizer
04:04 allotment at this point.
04:05 My allotment?
04:06 Well, there's three of us.
04:07 We each get a third.
04:09 Oh, my god.
04:10 There's two Larry Davids.
04:12 Pretty good.
04:13 Pretty, pretty good.
04:15 We know each other since we were born in the same hospital
04:17 room, three days apart.
04:20 I'm three days older, and he was hitting me
04:22 with the umbilical cord.
04:23 I-- you're nuts.
04:25 I'm smarter than you, but I love the guy.
04:28 As for dinner parties, the seating arrangements
04:30 can make or break Larry's night, so you
04:32 have to have a strong middler.
04:34 You have to be able to carry the conversation.
04:37 You have to be interesting.
04:38 You're the point guard.
04:39 You're distributing the ball.
04:41 The wrong people are in the middle.
04:44 What?
04:45 Yeah.
04:46 You can't handle the middle.
04:46 You're not a middler.
04:48 It's very presumptuous of you to even be sitting here.
04:50 If you have a dud in the middle,
04:52 and they're just sitting there, and they're not
04:54 saying anything interesting, then
04:55 everybody just sits there, and then
04:57 everybody sort of does their own little thing.
04:59 You know, you have to be in the mood to middle,
05:01 because you're on the whole time.
05:03 And taking the top spot--
05:05 Do you respect wood?
05:07 Yeah, when Larry was wrongly accused
05:09 of leaving a stain on Julia Louis-Dreyfus's antique table,
05:12 he went full social assassin to find the culprit.
05:16 How did this get here?
05:17 That's between the coffee and the wood.
05:19 No, you don't respect wood.
05:20 I do respect wood.
05:21 This is a low-grade wood.
05:23 Oh, so you discriminate amongst wood.
05:25 Your heart bleeds for the wood, but not for actual life.
05:30 He even ruined his chance of reconciling with his ex-wife,
05:33 played by Cheryl Hines, when he suspected she was guilty.
05:37 Look at that stain you made.
05:38 Well, we'll just sand it off or something.
05:44 Do you respect wood?
05:46 The thing about me and Larry is we're intertwined.
05:50 Yes.
05:51 Whether we're married or not, we're
05:53 always going to be Cheryl and Larry one way or another.
05:57 It's just like sometimes you love him,
05:58 sometimes you hate him, but you're still family.
06:01 I think when I'm with you, it makes me feel
06:06 better about myself.
06:07 Marley superior.
06:08 Yes.
06:09 Yes.
06:10 I hear that a lot.
06:11 Our favorite grouch is calling it quits after nearly 24 years
06:14 with the show.
06:15 But Larry's infamous social roles will live on forever.
06:18 No need to curb any enthusiasm about that.
06:21 [music playing]
06:24 (bells chiming)
06:27 [BLANK_AUDIO]