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TVTranscript
00:00 [MUSIC]
00:02 Have you noticed that when you take a picture,
00:04 you don't look nearly as good as you do when you look in the mirror?
00:07 Because the mirror is how you see yourself,
00:09 and the photo is how you're seeing.
00:12 Fuck, that's deep.
00:13 [MUSIC]
00:17 Antibiotics.
00:18 Antibiotics.
00:19 And that gives men breasts.
00:20 Larry could grow breasts.
00:22 I said, "Thought of Larry with breasts."
00:23 Pretty cute.
00:25 Pretty, pretty, pretty cute.
00:29 [MUSIC]
00:33 That's what happens when people have sex.
00:35 They say, "I love you. You're very special."
00:38 People talk like that?
00:39 Yeah.
00:40 Men do that?
00:41 [MUSIC]
00:42 You're small, you're petty, you're jealous.
00:44 You're a walking fucking virus, Larry.
00:47 [MUSIC]
00:50 Very sorry to hear about your father.
00:53 Father and mother, thank you.
00:54 Well, that's, you know, a little better.
00:56 Your dad's still alive?
00:57 Yeah.
00:58 There you go.
00:59 [MUSIC]
01:01 I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life.
01:03 I don't even know who I'm looking at right now.
01:04 How is something good happening to me?
01:06 [MUSIC]
01:08 How did you decide on the last name, anyway?
01:10 I assume it's your semen, right?
01:12 What did you just say?
01:13 I have to accept the fact that you're wired like a fucking lunatic.
01:16 I didn't know you had alopecia.
01:17 You're a cheater.
01:18 No, you're a cheater.
01:19 You always have to be the center of attention.
01:21 [MUSIC]
01:23 There's an authenticity involved in caring about oneself.
01:26 Get the fuck out of my house.
01:27 Wait, let me say goodbye to your stupid fucking dog.
01:29 Hey, hey, hey, don't you touch that dog.
01:31 Do not touch the dog.
01:32 Ever!
01:33 [MUSIC]
01:36 I'm going to be honest, I'm disappointed.
01:37 I was expecting more from a childhood hero.
01:39 I really did the best under the circumstances of a person who hates people and yet had to be amongst them.
01:44 [MUSIC]
01:48 (music fades)