A stand-up comedy set by the Dutch comedian Sander van Opzeeland, recorded live in Toomler in January 2007. | dG1faVV3TWk1YlBfajg
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 I was at McDonald's, that's my fault, I admit that.
00:06 But I was in the mood for a burger or something, I don't know.
00:10 I walked in and the weird thing is, I knew exactly what I was going to order,
00:14 because I'm an adult, so I had thought about it.
00:16 I'm not super-adult, because then I wouldn't have gone to McDonald's.
00:19 But I do my best.
00:21 I'm standing at the counter and I order a hamburger, a small fries and a small cola.
00:26 I was just in the mood for that.
00:27 But that's not enough at McDonald's, they always want more money from you than you want to spend.
00:31 So the girl at the counter said,
00:32 "Yes, but if you make a small cola and a medium cola, a small fries and a medium fries,
00:37 and a hamburger and a cheeseburger, then it's an advantage menu, for only 2 euros extra."
00:43 And I took a break and said,
00:45 "But, madam..."
00:46 And that was super nice of me, because it had very little to do with the woman in front of me.
00:52 I said, "Madam, how can it be an advantage menu, if it only costs 2 euros more than I want to spend?"
01:00 And I was quiet for a moment, and then they made this sound.
01:05 "Oi, ow, ooo, ow."
01:08 And all of a sudden, all red, veins in the face, tense.
01:12 And I suddenly realized what was going on.
01:14 The brains had to be restarted again.
01:16 They hadn't been used for so long.
01:18 And finally, they said, "No, but wait a minute, but like this, like that..."
01:22 And I looked at them and said, "No, nothing like this, like that.
01:24 If you let your guts suck away 10 kilos of fat, then you might be a nice woman, but that's not going to happen either.
01:28 Now, get out of here with those hamburgers."
01:30 Yes.
01:33 I was at the Zeeman, because I had to buy a present for someone I was going to hate.
01:36 I don't know.
01:37 And I'm there, and there was a green Colbert hanging there.
01:41 A light green Colbert.
01:43 A light green Kermit the frog colored Colbert.
01:47 With short mouths.
01:49 Okay.
01:52 And there was a poster hanging on top, and on the poster it said, "Two for the price of one."
01:59 Who are they trying to fool with that?
02:01 When do you have something like that?
02:03 You buy one of those monstrous things, and you get another one.
02:06 Then you're just double-minted.
02:07 You never have anything like that.
02:09 Only in the situation that you put the one Colbert in the sink, and you still have an appointment that day to be completely humiliated.
02:15 "Oh, I still have my second one."
02:17 It's so incredibly weird.