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00:00 *musique*
00:15 *musique*
00:37 *rires*
00:39 *musique*
01:04 *rires*
01:26 *applaudissements*
01:29 *musique*
01:58 *rires*
02:00 *musique*
02:26 *rires*
02:29 *rires*
02:32 *musique*
03:01 *applaudissements*
03:07 *rires*
03:09 Oh, you mean the explosion?
03:11 Well, Steve says he didn't do it, but nobody believes him.
03:14 They want to expel him.
03:16 Really? For a little explosion?
03:19 It wasn't that little. One of the lab tables hasn't come down yet.
03:25 Well, I really feel bad for Steve.
03:29 Yeah, me too.
03:31 There may be something I could do to help him, but I'd have to stick my neck out.
03:37 What is it?
03:38 Steve could ask for a student trial and I could represent him.
03:41 That's a great idea.
03:42 Yeah, I think I'll do it.
03:44 Your Honor, this is a black light.
03:47 It detects phosphorescent paints or chemicals.
03:50 Lights, please.
03:52 Laura, what's the relevance here?
03:55 Simply this.
03:57 The explosive chemicals in Steve's graffiti solvent are phosphorescent.
04:02 When they come in contact with human skin,
04:04 traces remain detectable for several days.
04:07 Mr. Thornhill, show me your hands.
04:10 Your Honor, in light of this dramatic development,
04:18 I ask that all charges against Steve be dropped.
04:21 Case dismissed.
04:23 Hi, Laura.
04:28 Hello, Greg.
04:30 You okay?
04:32 No. It really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willy.
04:36 Oh!
04:38 Oh!
04:40 Oh!
04:42 One!
04:43 Steve!
04:44 Two!
04:45 Laura!
04:47 Oh, there's three of you.
04:49 Oh, the world doesn't deserve such riches.
04:53 Steve, stop getting back up. Stay down.
04:56 Don't worry, my little...
04:58 Oh!
04:59 We'll talk later.
05:01 Oh!
05:03 Oh!
05:05 Oh!
05:06 Steve, stay down!
05:08 Stay down!
05:10 What'd you say?
05:12 She said stay down!
05:15 Willy, I'm tired of you pushing us around.
05:17 If Urkel can stand up to you, so can I.
05:19 So after you finish him, you're gonna have to fight me.
05:22 After?
05:26 And then me!
05:28 And then me!
05:29 Come on, I can take you all on.
05:33 (cris de joie)
05:36 What you gonna do now, Willy?
05:38 Run.
05:42 Hey, Laura, if you still want me to go to the dance with you, I'd like to.
05:47 Thanks, Greg, but I've decided to go with my champion.
05:50 Steve, will you go with me to the Sadie Hawkins Day Dance?
05:55 Oh, no! I was wrong! I am hallucinating!
06:00 Mesdames et messieurs, le gagnant par un principal, Steve "Iron Man" Urkel!
06:07 C'est fantastique, Steve. Le problème, c'est que c'est ton histoire, pas Eddie's.
06:12 J'ai trouvé un titre.
06:15 Laura, je m'en fous de la glorie.
06:19 En plus, tout le monde va rire quand nous, les gars, nous serons à l'ancien camp, en bouillant nos bazookas.
06:26 C'est vrai, Eddie?
06:29 Quand je lui ai dit que tu allais avec nous, il a pensé que c'était une mauvaise idée.
06:35 Oh, typique, mais tu as été là pour moi.
06:38 C'est vrai, mon ami?
06:40 Steve, j'ai essayé, mais Rodney m'a dit que je devais choisir entre vous.
06:46 Je vois. Et tu as choisi Rodney.
06:53 Je suis désolé, Steve. Nous allons nous réunir un autre jour.
06:58 Non, ce n'est pas OK.
07:02 Eddie Winslow, front and center!
07:08 News flash, Eddie. I have feelings.
07:18 Inside this scrawny chest there beats a heart. A heart that hurts.
07:23 And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend.
07:28 And all you've done is take advantage of me. Well, that's gonna stop right now!
07:33 Steve, listen.
07:35 No, you listen.
07:37 Either you take me camping or you tell everybody who really won the short story contest.
07:42 Is this a bluff?
07:43 Try me.
07:47 All right. I'm gonna go tell my mom that you've been doing my English papers for me.
07:52 And the truth is, Steve, I have been feeling guilty about taking advantage of you.
07:57 So I'm gonna go call Rodney right now and tell him you're going camping with us whether he likes it or not.
08:03 Thanks, Eddie.
08:05 You're welcome.
08:06 Eddie?
08:07 Yeah?
08:14 Meet my honey, Laura Winslow. Laura Winslow, Buzz Connery.
08:18 How do you do? It's very nice to meet you.
08:19 Great to meet you.
08:20 What in the name of William Shatner are you doing here?
08:23 Well, Steve, I have very exciting news.
08:26 The International Space Program has chosen you to be the first student in space.
08:32 So, why'd you pick Steve?
08:37 Well, the Space Program had a national science contest and Steve's entry won first place.
08:42 Really? You mean you like the ERCL AGF 5000?
08:46 Oh, yeah.
08:47 The ERCL AGF 5000?
08:49 Yeah. AGF stands for artificial gravity field.
08:52 You see, I worked up some equations that in theory should produce gravity in a weightless environment.
08:56 Steve, we're building a prototype of your invention right now and we want to test it in space with you aboard.
09:02 I'm the man! I'm the man! I'm the man!
09:07 We'll need you to train in Houston for six months.
09:09 I'm not the man.
09:11 What?
09:12 Well, my sweetie and I are scheduled to be hitched in two months.
09:15 Why, we've already booked the caterer, the church, the hall.
09:18 I even hired a cheese sculptor to do our likeness in Velveeta.
09:22 See, we're kissing in a sea of crackers.
09:25 I see.
09:27 Excuse us for one minute.
09:29 Sure.
09:30 Steve, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
09:34 But, Laura, so is marrying you.
09:37 I want to get hitched before you change your mind.
09:41 Steve, that's not going to happen.
09:43 Look, we'll just postpone the wedding until after you return from space.
09:46 No wonder I love you so much.
09:49 So, no one's come into your birthday party?
09:52 Nope, but that's okay.
09:54 Hey, I'm Steve Ercle. I'm used to being alone.
09:57 Laura Winslow.
10:00 Yeah, I'm having a birthday party for a friend this Saturday at my house.
10:03 Can you come?
10:05 Well, the party's for Steve Ercle.
10:08 Hello?
10:11 Hello?
10:15 You see, the thing is, I wanted to invite you to a birthday party for Steve.
10:18 Steve? Steve Ercle?
10:21 Yeah.
10:23 Stop it, you two. It's not funny.
10:28 Oh, yeah? If it's not funny, then why are we laughing?
10:33 Vous devriez vous en décevoir. Steve Ercle a été un bon ami pour vous deux.
10:37 Il l'a été?
10:39 Oui.
10:40 Weasel, qui vous a apporté ce beau plaque de bois pour célébrer votre centaine de jours de prison?
10:45 Ercle.
10:49 And Waldo?
10:50 Sup?
10:52 Quand vous êtes déprimé, qui vous accueille en faisant des animaux en sombre?
10:56 Ercle.
10:58 Okay, then. What do you say? Will you come to Steve's party?
11:02 Non.
11:04 Je vous ai acheté quelque chose.
11:07 Bonne fête, Steve.
11:09 Un cadeau?
11:12 Pour moi?
11:14 De vous?
11:16 Comment?
11:18 Prenez-moi maintenant, mon Seigneur. C'est tout de l'envers de là.
11:21 De la halle à la price d'admission à Cheese Town.
11:25 Oh, wow!
11:28 Oh, wow!
11:30 Oh, thank you, Laura. I love it.
11:32 Well, I'm glad you're happy. I wanted to give you a party, but I got a late start and everybody already had prior commitments.
11:42 Oh, no need to explain. I totally understand.
11:46 Why it would take a miracle to get people to come to a party for me.
11:49 Well, I'm glad you understand because...
11:52 Surprise!
11:54 Surprise!
11:56 S'il vous plaît, donnez-le à Mr. Steven Q. Ercle.
12:04 Hum... Pourquoi ne pas commencer le bidon à 25 dollars?
12:17 Oui, oui, c'est un bon endroit pour commencer le bidon.
12:21 Je veux dire, 25 dollars?
12:23 C'est un bon endroit pour commencer le bidon.
12:26 Pourquoi ne pas commencer un peu plus bas et puis construire notre chemin en haut?
12:31 Oui, oui.
12:33 5 dollars.
12:35 Oh, allez, les gars.
12:42 5 dollars?
12:44 Vous avez passé plus de 5 dollars que ça.
12:49 Vous avez passé plus de 5 dollars que ça.
12:51 Merci. Je vais y aller maintenant. Merci.
12:59 100 dollars.
13:05 Je vais y aller une fois.
13:09 Je vais y aller deux fois.
13:13 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...
13:17 Qui est-ce que je plaisante?
13:19 C'est à moi. Viens ici.
13:21 Je veux mon bisou maintenant.
13:27 Tu le veux?
13:31 Tu le veux?
13:33 Non.
13:35 Je veux mon bisou.
13:37 Je veux mon bisou.
13:39 Je veux mon bisou.
13:42 Je veux mon bisou.
13:45 Bravo!
14:13 Wow!
14:16 Alors, gros gars, tu vas ramener ton mouche dégueulasse et dégueulasse
14:20 à l'office du principal et venir le nettoyer?
14:22 Je n'y avais pas prévu.
14:24 Et pourquoi pas?
14:29 Laura, une personne est déjà en trouble.
14:32 Si je me confesse, deux personnes seront en trouble.
14:36 Tout ce que ça fait, c'est mettre plus de gens en trouble.
14:39 Je ne pourrais pas vivre avec ça.
14:42 Eddie, tu as forcé Steve à tricher.
14:45 Et maintenant, quand il a besoin de toi, tu le laisses en haut et en bas.
14:48 Eddie, Steve était un vrai ami pour toi et c'est à l'heure de retourner le favori.
14:52 Dieu, je t'aime.
14:56 Si je gagne, et je le ferai certainement,
15:00 il doit rester à l'étage de ma maison pour la suite de sa vie.
15:04 Et Hurricane, qu'est-ce qui se passe si tu gagnes?
15:07 Oh, il n'y a pas de "si", Mr. Zombie.
15:10 Quand je gagne, ce maladroite doit me donner une apologie.
15:16 Dis-le, ne le spraye pas.
15:18 Hurricane fait un bon travail d'éviter cette affaire.
15:24 Il a parlé trop tôt.
15:26 Steve.
15:37 Steve, tu dois arrêter ça. Arrêtez-le, s'il te plaît.
15:40 Mais pourquoi?
15:42 Je ne veux pas que tu t'en fasses mal, d'accord?
15:45 Tu m'aimes. Maintenant, je ne quitterai jamais.
15:48 Dieu, donne-moi la force de gagner pour ma femme.
15:52 Steve, j'ai toujours fantaisé de me battre contre toi.
15:59 Je ne suis pas une femme.
16:01 Je suis une femme.
16:03 Steve, j'ai toujours fantaisé de voir comment j'allais me battre contre toi.
16:08 Fantaiser!
16:10 J'ai imaginé un date chouette, en veste de chouette.
16:16 Comment?
16:18 Il m'a pris dans un limousin et on a dansé la nuit.
16:22 C'était le meilleur moment de ma vie.
16:26 C'est une belle fantaisie.
16:28 Ce n'est pas une fantaisie, car tu as fait que tout se soit réalisé.
16:33 Je l'ai fait.
16:35 Il y a seulement une chose qui nous protège de faire une belle nuit.
16:39 Et c'est quoi?
16:41 Ça.
16:43 Maintenant, vous n'êtes plus des amis.
16:50 Tu sais quoi? Tu es mieux, Steve. Pourquoi tu veux un jeu de frère?
16:56 Jeu de frère?
16:58 C'est ton faute, tu as été tiré.
17:00 Comment c'était ma faute quand je n'étais pas là?
17:04 C'est pourquoi c'est ta faute, Eddie.
17:06 Comme d'habitude, tu pensais à tes hormones au lieu de ta tête.
17:10 Tu fais toujours ça.
17:12 Tu chirpes et tu blagues.
17:14 Chirpe, blague.
17:16 Chirpe, blague.
17:18 J'avais autre chose à faire.
17:21 Chirpe.
17:22 Je ne fais pas de blague.
17:24 J'avais autre chose à faire.
17:26 Chirpe.
17:27 Il a été tiré.
17:29 Blague.
17:31 Eddie, la ligne fondamentale est que Steve a essayé de faire un favori.
17:37 Il était là pour toi.
17:39 La vérité est que tu ne mérites pas un ami comme Steve.
17:45 [Applaudissements]
17:47 [Musique]
17:57 What you gonna do, Willie?
17:59 [Rires]
18:01 I'm gonna get Urkel.
18:03 Why you gonna do that, Willie?
18:05 Because he humiliated me.
18:07 [Rires]
18:13 What's with Steve? He's acting weird even for him.
18:16 Willie told me not to tell.
18:18 Tell what?
18:19 That he spiked Urkel's punch.
18:21 What?
18:22 I said he...
18:24 Hey, you can't trick me.
18:26 Is Steve okay?
18:28 Yeah, Rachel's taking him home.
18:30 See, officer, everything's fine.
18:32 We were just having a little fun.
18:34 Fun? Steve could have been killed.
18:37 But he wasn't.
18:38 So chill out, okay?
18:41 You just don't get it, do you?
18:43 You think it's cool to come to a party with a minibar on your coat?
18:46 You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool?
18:50 Well, it's not cool.
18:52 It's not funny. It's dangerous.
18:54 You have every right to be as bad as a rabbit dog.
18:57 But you're spraying your slobber on the wrong guy.
19:00 Eddie didn't total your house.
19:02 I did.
19:04 You...
19:06 You...
19:08 Him!
19:10 Eddie, you have done some low things.
19:19 But letting Steve take the blame is a new high-low.
19:22 You really impressed me tonight.
19:25 I did?
19:27 Yeah.
19:29 I always think of you as, well, very clumsy.
19:33 But the way you cooked tonight, it was...
19:35 It was really cool.
19:37 Cool?
19:39 Yeah.
19:41 I would even go so far as to say sexy.
19:44 Sexy?
19:46 Very.
19:52 Laura.
19:54 Why, you look heart-breakingly beautiful tonight.
19:58 So, uh, are you having a good time with Ted?
20:01 Absolutely. This is the best night of my entire life.
20:04 This is like a dream come true.
20:06 I'm sure.
20:08 I'm sorry, Steve.
20:14 Hey, it's okay.
20:16 I'm happy for you.
20:18 In a heart-sick, gut-wrenching, near-suicidal sort of way.
20:21 I had cold feet until Steve proved me in.
20:26 Steve?
20:29 Yeah, he said if I asked you, you'd probably say yes.
20:31 He freaks out when I even mention another guy.
20:34 Well, you said he realized that going to the dance with me would make you happy.
20:37 And that's all he really cares about.
20:39 Now it's time for the Queen's dance.
20:42 Who's the lucky young man, Laura?
20:46 This dance goes to the one guy who's always treated me like a queen.
21:03 Steve Urkel.
21:05 (Rires)
21:07 (Musique)
21:12 (Rires)
21:18 (Rires)
21:23 (Rires)
21:26 (Rires)
21:29 (Rires)
21:32 (Rires)
21:35 (Rires)
21:38 (Rires)
21:41 (Rires)
21:44 (Rires)
21:47 (Rires)
21:49 (Rires)
21:53 (Rires)
21:56 (Rires)
21:59 (Rires)
22:02 (Rires)
22:05 (Rires)