How to truly love and care for someone? || Acharya Prashant (2018)
Video Information: ShabdYoga Session, 14.02.2018, Shivpuri, Rishikesh, Uttarakhand, India
Context:
~What is true love?
~How to truly love and care for someone?
~ What is caring for others?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Context:
~What is true love?
~How to truly love and care for someone?
~ What is caring for others?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Transcript
00:00 This question is from Michael. He is saying, how do we live without the ego in the Western
00:14 world? And the ego seems to be all that which protects us. That's true Michael, there is
00:28 stuff that needs protection. How do you feel about stuff that needs protection? For a moment,
00:45 ignore the fact that that which protects you also seems to ask for protection in the sense,
00:51 forget about what you get from it. Forget about the other side that it offers you reciprocate
00:58 protection. How do you feel when you have to protect something? Cautious, insecure,
01:14 tense, bound, fearful. Of course, there is stuff that needs protection. Of course, all this around
01:38 us needs protection. It can be destroyed. Alright, let's destroy it. Let's figure out what all can
01:50 we destroy here. Each one of you name one object that you can destroy here. Yes, starting from you.
02:04 Look around and show me what can you destroy. Name one something. The tree. Does it take you
02:25 so long to destroy? We are destroying all the time. Yes, the animals there and the tents. One
02:47 object each quickly. The building, the vegetation, the mountains, the water, the microphone,
03:11 the camera. So, there can be noise. That is something that you are putting in extra over
03:26 the silence. The air, of course, you can destroy it. The shoes, the camera, the bodies. So,
03:50 all these would need protection. And yet there is something that you cannot destroy. What is it
04:06 that you cannot destroy? Alright, you named it, silence and protection. So, that too can be
04:22 destroyed. You can destroy the sun. Man is becoming very powerful. Sooner day will come
04:30 when you will have equipment enough to destroy the sun. Of course, the you too would be destroyed
04:34 in the process. But you can do that. Everything contained in this space can be destroyed. Can
04:52 you destroy the space itself? Everything contained in the space can be destroyed. And when you say
05:03 it can be destroyed, that means a change in form, colour, name, etc. Can you destroy the space
05:14 itself? Does that drop a hint on how to live as
05:35 the more you are living as stuff that is prone to destruction, the more you live in anxiety. And
06:01 if you are living in anxiety, that clearly means that you are living attached to stuff that can be
06:09 destroyed. What do you mean by care? You mean the preservation of form? What exactly do you mean by
06:35 care? What are you caring for? Now let me give you the simple and true meaning of care. To care
06:58 for a sentient being is to help her or him discover her true nature. That is the only
07:16 care possible. All other kinds of care are secondary. I am not saying that you must not
07:36 care for somebody s skin. But care for her heart first. Care for the truth first. And
07:52 then care for the skin. Otherwise you will have a corpse with glowing skin. How attractive is that?
08:04 A mummy with impeccable skin. Care for the heart first. And then care for the skin. There must be
08:23 a clear hierarchy. This hierarchy is called Viveka or discretion. You must know how to differentiate.
08:30 You must know what comes first. First of all be with that that requires no protection. And
08:43 then you may indulge yourself in protecting this or that. Yes, a little plant in your house needs
08:54 some water. Care for that plant. But before you take care of that plant, please be someone who
09:08 can take care of things. Otherwise today you will take care of that plant and tomorrow in a fit of
09:18 rage you will pick up the entire pot and break it. And does that not happen? Today you are cleaning
09:31 glassware and tomorrow are you entitled to take care? Smiles in the night and slaps in the morning.
09:54 Come on we all know how it is. It s not a question
10:24 of condition. It s a question of priority. It s a question of being with the primary.
10:31 And being with the primary is unconditional. Whether you care or you do not, it does not
10:42 matter. What really matters is being with the primary. Care for that. And after that,
10:48 if you feel that you must take care of a few things, go ahead and take care and if you feel
10:53 there is nothing to take care of, then ignore everything. Being with the primary is unconditional.
11:01 That is something that you must do. That is something that is your nature. That is something
11:10 that is not even a matter of doing. It s a matter of being. Be there. And after that,
11:19 if you have to take care of the river, go ahead and take care. You will beautifully take care.
11:23 And if you are not established in your true nature and you try to take care of the river,
11:30 you will only take very cosmetic care. Your care will be very artificial. You will take
11:41 care in order to extract something from the river. Does that not happen? Man says,
11:48 let me take care of the ecosystem. And why do you want to take care of the ecosystem?
11:54 So that you might not be harmed. In fact, in every single article that you read about global warming,
12:01 you also read what global warming would do to mankind. Do you know what that implies? That
12:10 means that if global warming were harmless to mankind, then man would have let global warming
12:16 happen. Recently I read an article and that article talked of how all the edible fish are
12:32 reducing in numbers because of global warming. Now look at the violence contained in this. You
12:38 do not want global warming because global warming is reducing the number of the fish that you eat.
12:45 And there was an article about the Great Barrier Reef. It's close to Australia,
12:59 you know of that. And one of the prominent things in the article was,
13:07 very soon you won't get to see these spectacles. So preserve the reef because it is spectacular.
13:17 Spectacular to whom? To the turtles? No, to the man. And that reminds me,
13:24 there was an article on the turtle also. And it said, look at this grand and beautiful turtle.
13:29 It's slowly becoming extinct. It is appearing grand and beautiful to whom? To man. Which means
13:36 that if there are small, inconspicuous animals, unattractive pieces of flora and fauna,
13:49 you won't bother for them. Such is our care. A little bacteria is going extinct. And that
14:02 bacteria happens to be ostensibly no use to mankind. You will never read an article on that
14:07 bacteria. I ask you, if a small, unattractive looking animal is reducing in number, would it
14:26 receive the same attention as is received by the tiger? And you are so concerned about the tiger.
14:35 Why are you so concerned about the tiger? Big, beautiful, grand, royal. That is the quality of
14:47 our care. We would firstly care for that which affects us the most. So we keep our house clean
14:59 while dirtying the environment, the neighboring. Big countries dump their waste down the seas or
15:20 sometimes even export it to other countries. You know of that, right? Go and read what happens to
15:28 all the electronic waste. That's the quality of our care. We care for the environment. And of
15:36 course the air quality in the western world is better than that in the developing world.
15:41 They care for their environment. Only their own environment. That's the quality of ego driven
15:49 care. That's not really care. My little puppy. And I get him a sweater. Nice and cozy and
16:05 colorful and of course cute. And how about all the stray dogs? They are not mine. We are not
16:28 entitled to take care. Because we have not taken care of the primary. We have not taken care of
16:37 the first. That is why when we try to take care, it's even bigger violence. The only one who is
16:51 entitled to take care is the one who has been taken care of. First be taken care of. First
17:02 leave yourself to the care of the Almighty. And then through you, the existence will find care.
17:20 Otherwise you try to take care of your kids and you know what your kids come up as. And
17:28 mother and father both are investing themselves fully in trying to take care of the kid. And
17:34 now the kid is 14 and there is no bigger rascal than this kid. You know of that kid, right?
17:48 And you took full care. You did the best you could do and yet see what has come out of all
18:01 your efforts. That is because you are not entitled to take care. That is because you have not
18:10 fulfilled your primary responsibility. Fulfill your primary responsibility and then whatever
18:19 you will touch, you will touch with compassion. Then you won't even need to touch. You will
18:26 radiate compassion. Directly, indirectly, in all possible ways you will be helping the universe.
18:36 Even without knowing you would be helping the universe, your very breath will be a help. Your
18:46 very being will be a help. You won't even need to do. Just your being will spread peace and benignness.
18:58 Are you getting it? Be with that where there is no care involved. Be internally very,
19:21 very carefree. And then with these hands and these legs and this intellect,
19:30 plunge yourself in taking care. But here remain very, very carefree. How do you remain carefree?
19:43 By knowing that the space cannot be destroyed. All can be destroyed but not the space. So I am
19:53 carefree. The space wasn't made by man and hence won't be. I am not man-made. Who will kill me?
20:06 Bring your biggest tanks, lethal weapons and atom bombs and show me how you can kill space.
20:21 Stand in front of them and declare, come on, kill me. But don't do that.
20:35 And once you are there, then you are a messenger of care.
20:59 Then your very sight heals. Then your absence heals as much as your presence.
21:11 So truly you are then never absent. Then you heal when you smile and you heal even when you slap.
21:35 But only then, not before that. You are talking of the Western world. Here in India,
21:57 the saints, the mystics, the gurus, they have talked of being nishchin. It's a beautiful word.
22:12 Nishchin. Without care. Guru Nanak talks of beparvahi. Without concern. Without care,
22:35 without concern. In Studio Kabir, they were singing of Bulleh Shah. What did he say?
22:55 Bekhud. Jistan ishq da sohiya, bekhud and behosh. Look at the beauty of the words.
23:21 Bekhud and behosh. Khosh refers to consciousness. Not conscious of things. Things are not in my
23:33 mind. I am not thinking of them. And bekhud, eyeless. I am this, I am that. It's such a burden,
23:44 such a care. Who wants that? Chill. Beparvah, bekhud, behosh. Befikar.
23:57 Fikar hi sabko kha gayi. Fikar hi sabka peer. Fikar ka faka jo kare, taka naam Kabir. And
24:22 you are talking of being bothered with care, being bogged down with care.
24:26 Kabir says I have nothing to do with worries. Fikar ka faka means either of two things. One,
24:43 I fast on care and concern which means I don't eat them, I don't touch them. And the other meaning is,
24:51 I actually eat them. Eat them in the sense of destroy them. I am the one who, I am either the
25:04 one who doesn't touch worries or I am the one who simply eats them. Fikar ka faka jo kare,
25:11 taka naam Kabir. These are beautiful things but they come only to those who first of all surrender
25:21 to the space. Who are not enamored with food. In Australia you have too many of these,
25:45 only these. In India we have too many of these. People.
26:01 Space. That's the great unifier. The great solvent. The great protector.
26:29 The great originator. The great dissolver.
26:42 Love towards fellow beings is a beautiful
27:12 virtue but it cannot come on its own. It can come only after you have love towards the truth.
27:22 There are people who try to be loving towards fellow human beings or towards other bodies
27:32 without firstly being loving with the truth. Their love is dangerous, very dangerous. If
27:49 you are not in love with truth, the reality, godliness, then you cannot love the river,
28:02 the trees, human beings, dog, anything, anybody. You will try to but your attempt would be
28:12 counterproductive. Conversely, if you are in love with god, then without even trying,
28:23 without even doing, your being will radiate love towards the river, the plants, human beings,
28:30 the dog, everybody. What is the mistake that we make? We try to love our kids without firstly
28:57 being in love with god. It's a terrible mistake and you are punished for it. I repeat this.
29:18 If you do not love god, how will you love your wife? It's a total impossibility. But
29:27 we attempt that impossibility and keep failing and never learning. A godless hand is a loveless
29:45 hand. Don't touch anybody with that hand. Hands that cannot be folded in front of the
30:01 truth can never touch anybody with love.