Blondie
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00:00 [music]
00:00:14 Blondie!
00:00:16 [music]
00:00:20 Pretty face, funny hat, that's what my Blondie is.
00:00:24 Lovable feet, both flat, that's what my Dagwood is.
00:00:28 Blondie's not always right, I let her think she is.
00:00:32 All of my thoughts are bright, long as he thinks they're his.
00:00:37 Life for us is fun and crazy, baby dumpling.
00:00:40 Us and Daisy, what a family.
00:00:43 Incredible, bum-steadable, hurry you'll miss your bus.
00:00:48 Watch out, you'll burn your stew.
00:00:50 Nothing's too much for us, as long as with me there's you.
00:00:54 Dagwood and Blondie, Blondie and Dagwood, always with me there's you.
00:00:59 [music]
00:01:19 Here you are, Daisy.
00:01:21 [music]
00:01:33 Thank you, Daisy.
00:01:35 [music]
00:01:45 Good morning, Danny.
00:01:47 Good morning.
00:01:50 Hey, baby.
00:01:52 Baby dumpling.
00:01:54 Will you do something for me?
00:01:58 Sure.
00:01:59 Shh.
00:02:00 See if mother's fixing my lunch to take to the office, but don't tell her I asked.
00:02:03 Understand? It's a secret.
00:02:05 Shh.
00:02:06 Look, Mommy, I comb my hair.
00:02:17 That's a good boy.
00:02:18 I'll be good all day, too, I hope.
00:02:21 Are you fixing Daisy's lunch for the office?
00:02:26 Did your father tell you to ask me that?
00:02:29 Baby dumpling, do you know what happens when you tell stories?
00:02:37 Yes, Mommy.
00:02:45 You didn't do nothing wrong, Daisy. Let me sit down.
00:02:49 I'm sorry, Mommy.
00:02:57 It's hard to be good.
00:03:00 Then come along and have your breakfast.
00:03:04 [doorbell rings]
00:03:06 Good morning.
00:03:12 I thought I'd drop by with the contracts on my way to the office.
00:03:15 My husband's here now. He'll be gone in a few minutes. Come back later.
00:03:19 Oh, sorry. I'll wait down at the corner.
00:03:21 Oh, no. Wait out at the corner. It's safer.
00:03:24 Safer? Oh.
00:03:27 Blondie!
00:03:34 Blondie! Oh, look. One of my blue socks is green.
00:03:38 Dagwood, I put two clean pairs in your drawer last night.
00:03:41 Why didn't you put on the other pair?
00:03:43 Well, the other pair's blue and green, too.
00:03:45 Now, Dagwood, keep the blue sock on your right foot,
00:03:48 take the green sock off your left foot, and then put on the other blue one.
00:03:51 Yeah, but I got the right sock on the wrong foot already.
00:03:54 Well, look. Now I'm mixed up. Never mind.
00:03:58 Oh, thanks.
00:04:00 Who was at the door?
00:04:02 It was your brother, Gus.
00:04:04 Well, I thought it was somebody else.
00:04:06 Hey.
00:04:10 I haven't any brother, Gus.
00:04:12 If you must know, Mr. Nosy, it was a salesman.
00:04:15 Was he selling something?
00:04:17 Now, Dagwood, that was a stupid question. I said he was a salesman.
00:04:21 I didn't mean that. I meant, were you buying something?
00:04:24 Why, whatever gave you that idea?
00:04:26 Well, we just finished paying for the furniture,
00:04:28 so I thought it was about time you bought something else.
00:04:31 You talk as if I sit around all day thinking up things to buy.
00:04:35 Maybe it just seems that way.
00:04:39 Do you remember what we had when we first moved into this house?
00:04:43 Sure, we had each other.
00:04:45 What else?
00:04:46 Me.
00:04:47 No, darling. You came after the dining room furniture.
00:04:51 Did the shop bring the furniture, too?
00:04:54 Your father seems to think so.
00:04:56 He forgets that we have a happy home because I planned and schemed.
00:05:00 Now he doesn't want to carry his lunch and save $3 a week.
00:05:03 Shame.
00:05:07 Poor baby. It looks as if he'll have to work his way through college.
00:05:11 He will not. No son of mine will work his way through college.
00:05:14 He'll go to college just like anybody else.
00:05:16 And he won't have to carry his lunch, either.
00:05:18 I'll go to Harvard.
00:05:20 No, dear. Princeton.
00:05:21 Harvard?
00:05:23 Of course, if you got your raise.
00:05:26 All right. I'm not saying another word.
00:05:31 [footsteps]
00:05:34 [dog barks]
00:05:57 Hurry, baby. Hurry up, baby.
00:06:00 Open the door.
00:06:03 Stand back, dear. He comes by awfully fast.
00:06:09 Goodbye.
00:06:17 Bye.
00:06:18 [thud]
00:06:20 [gasps]
00:06:21 Oh!
00:06:23 [silence]
00:06:26 That was quite a jolt.
00:06:32 I'm so sorry, Mr. Beasley. Are you hurt?
00:06:35 He broke my record. That's the first time he's gotten me in six months.
00:06:39 Baby Dumpling, you run along and play with Alvin.
00:06:42 I'm so sick of you.
00:06:45 Now, baby, you be a good boy and stay in the backyard.
00:06:47 Now go on. Run along. Hurry up.
00:06:49 Remarkable. Nobody was hurt.
00:06:51 Oh, we've been doing it for years.
00:06:53 Oh, I'll get him, Mrs. Bumstead.
00:06:55 Oh, all right. Will you come inside, please?
00:06:58 Did he start from upstairs?
00:07:07 No, the kitchen.
00:07:09 Surprising how much speed he got with such a short start.
00:07:12 Will you step in here, please?
00:07:15 Now, Mrs. Bumstead, when do you want the new furniture delivered?
00:07:19 Tomorrow. I must have it tomorrow.
00:07:21 I think we can do it.
00:07:22 But I must have the furniture moved in while my husband's at work.
00:07:25 You see, it's a surprise. It's our wedding anniversary.
00:07:28 Our fifth.
00:07:29 Oh. All right, Mrs. Bumstead.
00:07:31 Everything will be taken care of tomorrow afternoon.
00:07:33 You have my word for it.
00:07:34 Fine.
00:07:35 Now, if you just sign this contract.
00:07:37 This says $880.
00:07:42 Well, that's the total.
00:07:43 The trade-in value of your old furniture is $360,
00:07:46 which brings that amount down to $520.
00:07:48 See?
00:07:49 Oh.
00:07:50 Where does it say how much the payments are?
00:07:54 Right there. $22.80.
00:07:57 It'll be a nice surprise for your husband, won't it?
00:08:00 I hope so.
00:08:02 Now, you're right, Alvin.
00:08:10 I like playing with you, Baby Dumplin'.
00:08:12 I like playing with you, too.
00:08:14 I like playing with you better than you do with me.
00:08:17 You do not. I like to play with you better than you do with me.
00:08:21 No, I like better.
00:08:23 No, I like better.
00:08:25 Don't, don't, don't.
00:08:26 Do, do, do.
00:08:28 Don't.
00:08:29 If you hit me, I'll tell your mother and you'll have to sit in the corner.
00:08:38 I'll be back.
00:08:40 $22.80 a month.
00:08:47 Poor Dagwood.
00:08:49 Mommy, have you done something wrong?
00:08:52 I'm afraid so.
00:08:54 What have you done?
00:09:00 Nothing yet.
00:09:14 In exactly seven seconds, you're going to owe me four bets.
00:09:16 But I still think I've got a good bet.
00:09:18 Come on, Bumstead!
00:09:20 Howdy, boy, Dagwood.
00:09:30 Well, I didn't know he was traveling light today.
00:09:32 He isn't carrying his lunch.
00:09:33 Yeah, he forgot his school books, too.
00:09:35 He's gone on a diet or his wife's gone on a vacation.
00:09:39 My wife hasn't anything to do with it.
00:09:41 I'm not like some guys I know who let their wives run them.
00:09:43 I only bring my lunch when I want to.
00:09:45 And today I didn't want to.
00:09:47 Bet he's hiding it under his coat.
00:09:49 I am not.
00:09:50 Bumstead, I want to see you.
00:10:00 Yes, sir.
00:10:01 Nelson, you come in, too.
00:10:04 Yes, sir.
00:10:05 Nelson, what have you done about that Hazard deal?
00:10:09 Well, I've done everything I could, Mr. Dithers, but it's an impossible set-up.
00:10:13 He hates salesmen.
00:10:15 Why, he throws them out as fast as they come in.
00:10:17 Did he throw you out?
00:10:18 No, sir.
00:10:19 That's too bad.
00:10:20 Well, you go on declaring a deal.
00:10:21 You ought to be able to sell one already.
00:10:23 I'll sell Hazard myself.
00:10:25 Yes, sir.
00:10:26 Mary, get me Mr. Hazard at the Brinkley Hotel.
00:10:28 Bumstead?
00:10:31 Yes, sir.
00:10:32 You're in trouble again.
00:10:34 Huh? I mean, sir?
00:10:36 Did you endorse a note for Elsie Watson?
00:10:38 Oh, that.
00:10:39 Gee, I thought you said I was in trouble.
00:10:42 She owes that money.
00:10:43 You remember Miss Watson, Mr. Dithers.
00:10:45 She used to be your secretary.
00:10:47 I remember her.
00:10:48 I fired her.
00:10:49 You did?
00:10:50 Well, she told me she quit.
00:10:52 Said her mother was sick in Seattle and she had to go to her right away and she didn't have the money.
00:10:57 And that's the reason I signed the note.
00:10:59 Why, she was crying so hard she could hardly talk.
00:11:02 You understood her, though, didn't you?
00:11:04 Oh, yes.
00:11:05 I think that loan company must be a little mixed up about it.
00:11:09 You do, eh?
00:11:10 Well, one of their men is in your office now waiting for you.
00:11:13 You go in there and straighten him out.
00:11:15 Yes, sir.
00:11:17 Get my wife.
00:11:24 Hello, Dovey.
00:11:30 Uh, Dovey, did you put my lunch in two packages this morning?
00:11:35 Mr. Bumstead?
00:11:39 I'm Hicks of the Borrowers' Loan Company.
00:11:41 Yes, I know.
00:11:42 Well, then I'll get right to the point.
00:11:44 You endorsed the note for Elsie Watson.
00:11:46 Well, she's disappeared and we're unable to locate her.
00:11:52 Well, maybe you haven't looked hard enough.
00:11:55 She went to visit her sick mother in Seattle.
00:11:58 She has no sick mother in Seattle.
00:12:00 I doubt if she has a mother at all.
00:12:02 Oh, now, she must have had a mother sometime, somewhere.
00:12:06 Perhaps.
00:12:07 But as far as the note is concerned, you're responsible.
00:12:09 Oh, no, I'm not responsible.
00:12:12 Anyone can tell you I'm not responsible.
00:12:14 In this case, Mr. Bumstead, you are.
00:12:16 The amount is $563.80.
00:12:19 You guarantee the note.
00:12:21 Naturally, we expect you to take care of it immediately.
00:12:23 I haven't $563.80.
00:12:27 I haven't even 80 cents.
00:12:29 You gave us collateral of the furniture at your residence, isn't that right?
00:12:32 Of course, our company doesn't want to take that furniture, but...
00:12:36 Oh, you can't do that.
00:12:38 Well, it so happens that we can.
00:12:40 - Oh, no. - If necessary.
00:12:41 No, no, now don't do that, please don't.
00:12:43 Just give me a little time and...
00:12:45 All right.
00:12:46 I give you until tomorrow.
00:12:48 Thank you.
00:12:49 Tomorrow?
00:12:50 I'll see you here at one o'clock.
00:12:52 I may be a little late.
00:12:55 I'll wait.
00:12:57 Yes, wait, will you?
00:12:59 Mr. Morgan.
00:13:17 Yes?
00:13:18 I'd like to get some advice.
00:13:20 That's all you'll get.
00:13:22 If you owe $563.80 and you had to have it right away, what would you do?
00:13:27 Let me get this straight.
00:13:29 I owe $563.80.
00:13:32 And I'm married.
00:13:34 And I don't want my wife to know anything about it.
00:13:37 And I work for dithers.
00:13:39 I'd hang myself.
00:13:45 I'd hang myself.
00:13:47 When I dry dishes, I hate myself.
00:13:57 So do I.
00:13:58 I hate all of them, too.
00:14:00 No, you don't.
00:14:02 Oh, dear, there goes the bell.
00:14:04 See who it is, baby.
00:14:06 If it's anyone selling anything, tell them we don't want any.
00:14:09 Yes, ma'am.
00:14:12 We don't want any.
00:14:14 You like your cherry pie?
00:14:16 Yes, sir.
00:14:17 And your papa like your cherry pie?
00:14:20 Mommy?
00:14:24 Yes, dear?
00:14:25 Does Daddy like cherry pie?
00:14:28 Daddy likes any kind of pie.
00:14:30 I'm going to go get some more.
00:14:36 I'll be right back.
00:14:39 Come in.
00:14:41 I happen to know Mr. Haislip is stopping there.
00:14:48 I've called five times.
00:14:50 We'll leave another message.
00:14:52 Yes?
00:14:55 Ah, Bumstead, I'm glad you came in.
00:14:59 You can help me solve a problem.
00:15:01 Yes, sir.
00:15:02 When you were in here, did you leave your lunch?
00:15:04 I guess so.
00:15:05 You'll probably have to go back to the kitchen.
00:15:07 I guess so.
00:15:08 You'll probably need it.
00:15:10 But I need a raise worse, Mr. Dithers.
00:15:12 Yes, I know you needed one last week.
00:15:14 Yes, sir, but I need it worse this week than I did last week.
00:15:17 You see, tomorrow's my wedding anniversary,
00:15:19 and I've made up my mind to surprise Blondie.
00:15:21 Bumstead, I don't know anything about your home life,
00:15:23 but I imagine Blondie has one surprise after another.
00:15:26 Yes, but she never had a surprise like this if I don't get a raise.
00:15:30 Your job isn't worth any more than you're getting.
00:15:33 Mr. Dithers, I could sell if you'd give me a chance.
00:15:36 You aren't salesman. I'm aggressive.
00:15:38 You mean impulsive.
00:15:40 Yes, sir, and I have charm, too.
00:15:42 All I need is an opportunity,
00:15:44 and you'll just have to give it to me, Mr. Dithers.
00:15:46 Tomorrow's our wedding anniversary,
00:15:49 and unless I take home some news to Blondie, I...
00:15:51 Listen, Bumstead, quit beating about the bush.
00:15:53 You're in trouble, aren't you?
00:15:56 Yes, sir.
00:15:57 You wouldn't think I could get into so much trouble.
00:15:59 I wouldn't think anybody could.
00:16:01 You know, if Blondie finds out about that note I endorsed,
00:16:03 it'll be pretty hard to explain.
00:16:05 Hard? It'll be impossible.
00:16:07 I'd just have to get a hold of $563.80.
00:16:12 Bumstead, I'm going to give you a chance.
00:16:15 Gee.
00:16:17 You know that Hazelip deal?
00:16:18 That's a $200,000 proposition.
00:16:20 Hazelip's stopping at the Brinkley.
00:16:21 If you sell him, I'll promote you to the sales force,
00:16:24 give you a $10 raise, and a bonus of $600,
00:16:27 which will cover that note.
00:16:29 Thank you, Mr. Dithers. I appreciate this,
00:16:31 and I'll show you I'm worthy.
00:16:33 You saved my honor and my furniture.
00:16:36 Now you're talking like a man.
00:16:39 Yes, sir.
00:16:40 I've always known I had it in me,
00:16:42 just never let it come out before.
00:16:44 But from now on, I'll prove to you I have courage.
00:16:47 These cheese sandwiches have been making a mouse out of me.
00:16:51 [door slams]
00:16:54 Mary, get my wife on the phone.
00:17:10 Blondie, we've just gotten out of a lot of trouble
00:17:16 that you never knew about.
00:17:17 I've been a sap, but I've changed all of a sudden.
00:17:20 From now on, you're gonna be proud of me.
00:17:22 I'm gonna do big things.
00:17:24 Baby Dumplin', you're going to Harvard.
00:17:27 Huh?
00:17:28 Oh, I thought you said something.
00:17:31 Mrs. Fuddle?
00:17:33 Yes?
00:17:34 Make Alvin come over and play with me.
00:17:37 Why, of course.
00:17:38 Run along and play, dear.
00:17:40 I don't want to.
00:17:41 Why, Alvin, is that nice?
00:17:44 Mrs. Fuddle?
00:17:45 Yes?
00:17:46 Now run along and play, dear.
00:17:48 I have something for you.
00:17:50 Would you like a nice box of cherries?
00:17:52 Oh, you're sure you don't need them?
00:17:54 Oh, no, I have more.
00:17:55 Come on over here and play with me, Alvin.
00:17:58 No.
00:17:59 Aw, come on.
00:18:00 Daisy wants to play too.
00:18:02 Don't you, Daisy?
00:18:04 [dog barks]
00:18:06 Will you play nice?
00:18:07 Yeah, sure.
00:18:10 All right.
00:18:13 I suppose you're all excited about buying new furniture.
00:18:16 Oh, yes, I am.
00:18:17 In a way, the payments are larger than I expected,
00:18:20 but if Dagwood gets his raise--
00:18:22 Oh, I know just exactly how you feel.
00:18:25 I've just about given up hope of Ed ever getting a raise.
00:18:28 When it happened--
00:18:29 Yes?
00:18:30 An old beau of mine came to town.
00:18:31 We had him out for dinner.
00:18:33 And the minute his big car drove up in front of the house,
00:18:35 there was a change in Ed.
00:18:37 Oh.
00:18:38 All during dinner, he kept talking about business
00:18:40 and what he said to his boss and everything.
00:18:42 And Ed kept getting hotter and hotter.
00:18:44 Well, all I know is the next day, Ed came home with a raise.
00:18:49 Oh, dear, I just remembered I must make a call.
00:18:52 [screams]
00:18:54 It's Alvin.
00:18:55 [screams]
00:18:58 Let's go.
00:18:59 [music playing]
00:19:02 You weigh 163 pounds.
00:19:17 You are a very stupid fellow and not likely to succeed.
00:19:20 You weigh 163 pounds.
00:19:23 You are a very stupid fellow and not likely to succeed.
00:19:26 You weigh 183 pounds.
00:19:37 You are about to consummate a very successful business.
00:19:40 You are a very stupid fellow and not likely to succeed.
00:19:43 You are a very stupid fellow and not likely to succeed.
00:19:46 You are a very stupid fellow and not likely to succeed.
00:19:49 You are about to consummate a very successful business deal.
00:19:52 Save your money, sucker.
00:20:05 I've told you twice already.
00:20:07 Good morning, Mr. Hayslip.
00:20:16 There's some messages for you.
00:20:17 Thank you.
00:20:19 J.C. Dithers.
00:20:20 J.C. Dithers.
00:20:22 J.C. Dithers.
00:20:24 S.W. Carey Company.
00:20:26 J.C. Dithers.
00:20:27 Rather persistent, aren't they, Mr. Hayslip?
00:20:29 Fine state of affairs when a man can't move without having a pack of salesmen yapping at his heels.
00:20:34 I'll take them, Mr. Hayslip.
00:20:35 Is Mr. Hayslip in?
00:20:42 Are you selling something?
00:20:43 Yes, I'm Mr. Bumstead of the J.C. Dithers Company.
00:20:46 Well, fortunately for you, he's not in.
00:20:48 Oh, you mean he's out?
00:20:49 Exactly.
00:20:50 Listen, will you do me a favor?
00:20:52 I'll be thrilled to death.
00:20:54 I'm going to sit right over there, and when Mr. Hayslip comes in, will you tip me off?
00:20:58 You know, give me a high sign.
00:21:00 Let's see, what can we use for a signal?
00:21:02 Oh, like this.
00:21:03 Never mind, never mind.
00:21:11 Is Mr. C.P. Hayslip in, please?
00:21:13 Are you a salesman?
00:21:15 Yes, I'm with the S.W. Carey Company.
00:21:17 Mr. Hayslip is not in.
00:21:19 Oh, thanks.
00:21:22 Mr. Hayslip, are you in?
00:21:24 Yes, I'm with the S.W. Carey Company.
00:21:26 Mr. Hayslip is not in.
00:21:28 Oh, thanks.
00:21:30 [indistinct chatter]
00:21:33 [clanking]
00:21:35 [clanking]
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00:22:41 [clanking]
00:22:45 [clanking]
00:22:47 [knocking]
00:22:51 [clanking]
00:22:55 [clanking]
00:22:58 He doesn't know what he's doing.
00:23:01 No.
00:23:04 I could fix it in ten minutes.
00:23:06 [clanking]
00:23:10 [clanking]
00:23:14 [SIDE CONVERSATION]
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00:24:49 Walk over there.
00:24:51 Pull it.
00:24:52 Yes.
00:24:53 Be careful.
00:24:54 [SIDE CONVERSATION]
00:25:22 Well, that's a fine place to leave a thing.
00:25:27 Porter.
00:25:28 Porter.
00:25:30 Porter.
00:25:32 Porter.
00:25:33 [SIDE CONVERSATION]
00:25:36 [SIDE CONVERSATION]
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00:26:06 [SIDE CONVERSATION]
00:26:09 Police?
00:26:16 Mr. Brickler?
00:26:17 Mr. Brickler?
00:26:21 Now, now, look.
00:26:25 You're sure you had a vacuum cleaner in the first place?
00:26:28 I think I did.
00:26:30 It looked like one.
00:26:31 And I was using it for one.
00:26:34 But it got broke.
00:26:35 So I went downstairs to get a screwdriver.
00:26:39 How long were you gone?
00:26:41 I don't know how long I was gone.
00:26:43 But I was gone too long.
00:26:45 Because when I got back, it was gone.
00:26:50 It couldn't have walked out of here, couldn't it?
00:26:54 Now, the whole thing sounds crazy to me.
00:26:57 Where did you leave it?
00:26:58 Over there.
00:27:02 All right.
00:27:03 Let's have a look.
00:27:06 [HUMMING]
00:27:09 Well, that's the one mistake we made.
00:27:15 What?
00:27:16 We didn't pay enough attention when we were taking it apart.
00:27:20 Maybe we ought to take it back downstairs.
00:27:22 No.
00:27:23 It may require a little longer than I thought at first.
00:27:25 But we'll fix it.
00:27:27 I'm better at engines.
00:27:29 I'm good at watches.
00:27:30 I've taken this apart three times.
00:27:32 I only had to go to the jewelers twice.
00:27:35 Gosh, I must be going.
00:27:36 I have to see a man in this hotel.
00:27:38 He's probably in now.
00:27:39 Can you come back later?
00:27:41 Not tonight.
00:27:42 But I'll come back tomorrow when I finish a big deal I'm closing.
00:27:45 Well, we'll put it away and get a fresh start in the morning.
00:27:49 I find that when you put your problems aside for a while,
00:27:52 they don't look so complicated.
00:27:55 It's all right.
00:28:01 Uh-huh.
00:28:02 You're at it again.
00:28:03 Excuse me.
00:28:04 Excuse me.
00:28:05 Oh, excuse me.
00:28:06 This is my daughter, Elsie.
00:28:08 Glad to meet you.
00:28:09 Elsie?
00:28:10 I once knew a girl named Elsie.
00:28:12 Yes?
00:28:13 You must tell me about her sometime.
00:28:14 My dear, this is Mr. What is your name?
00:28:17 We've been so busy we haven't had time to introduce ourselves.
00:28:19 Dagwood Bumstead.
00:28:21 Glad to meet you, Mr. Bumstead.
00:28:22 Whose vacuum cleaner was this?
00:28:24 Dagwood Bumstead.
00:28:27 Funny what names folks have.
00:28:29 Now, take your last name.
00:28:30 Of course, you can't help that, but somebody has to blame for your first name.
00:28:33 That's right.
00:28:34 Any middle name?
00:28:35 Dag.
00:28:36 No?
00:28:37 Well, that's a break.
00:28:39 My parents named me Clarence Percival.
00:28:44 However, since I've been big enough to write, I've used initials.
00:28:48 Now everybody calls me CP.
00:28:51 I think I'll call you Dag.
00:28:53 Is Dag taking his vacuum cleaner with him?
00:28:55 No, he has an appointment.
00:28:57 I hope I haven't made you late.
00:28:58 Oh, that's all right, but I have to hurry now.
00:29:00 Glad to have met you, and I'll see you tomorrow.
00:29:02 Goodbye.
00:29:03 Okay, Dag.
00:29:05 Okay, CP.
00:29:09 Ain't no use looking around here.
00:29:11 'Cause it's long gone from here.
00:29:13 Look, let's go over this one more time.
00:29:15 Where was the vacuum cleaner?
00:29:17 Right there.
00:29:19 All right, the vacuum cleaner is right there.
00:29:22 Is Mr. Hazlip in yet?
00:29:34 No.
00:29:35 I can't wait any longer, Dag.
00:29:37 I'll get him tomorrow.
00:29:38 That's not too bad.
00:29:39 I'm sure Mr. Hazlip will be very disappointed.
00:29:42 Oh, Mr. Phillips, is that Mr. Bumstead?
00:29:44 Yes, that's me.
00:29:45 Mr. CP Hazlip would like to speak to you on the telephone.
00:29:48 Mr. CP Hazlip?
00:29:54 This is Bumstead speaking.
00:29:56 Hey, Dag, bring a couple of half-inch bolts with you tomorrow.
00:30:00 Yes, sir.
00:30:01 And try to get here early, will you?
00:30:04 Okay, CP.
00:30:21 Hello, darling.
00:30:22 Hello.
00:30:23 You're late tonight.
00:30:24 Yes, I was tinkering.
00:30:26 I mean, I had to work.
00:30:31 Well, everything around the house is just the same as usual, isn't it?
00:30:34 Dagwood, you have the strangest look on your face.
00:30:39 I look the same to me.
00:30:41 I was, um, talking to Mrs. Buttle today.
00:30:45 She asked me if you'd gotten your raise.
00:30:48 What'd you tell her?
00:30:49 I told her, "Not yet."
00:30:51 Well, that's right.
00:30:58 Why?
00:30:59 He ran away again.
00:31:01 The trouble with you is you don't bring him up right.
00:31:09 Good evening, baby Duffield.
00:31:10 Good evening, Daddy.
00:31:12 I hear you ran away again.
00:31:15 I once knew a little boy who ran away, and do you know what happened to him?
00:31:20 When he came home, his mother and father and even his little dog didn't love him anymore.
00:31:27 He kept running away and running away, and when he came home, do you know what happened?
00:31:32 His mother and father were gone.
00:31:35 His little dog was gone.
00:31:37 And there wasn't a soul in the empty house.
00:31:41 Isn't there anybody there to make him sit in the car now?
00:31:45 No.
00:31:53 You ought to do something about him, Blondie.
00:31:56 Did you hear me?
00:31:57 Yes.
00:31:58 Are you going to do something about him?
00:32:00 Of course, dear.
00:32:01 I saw Laura today.
00:32:03 Well, that's more like it.
00:32:05 Who's Laura?
00:32:07 Laura Franey.
00:32:08 Oh, Chester's sister.
00:32:10 She says Chester's in charge of the Western Division now.
00:32:14 That's what he says.
00:32:15 What makes you dislike Chester so much?
00:32:18 I'm not jealous, if that's what you mean.
00:32:20 Oh, I didn't say anything about you being jealous.
00:32:23 Jealous, that's silly.
00:32:24 He annoys me, hasn't brains enough to dot an I.
00:32:27 Now, Dagwood, I think that's unfair.
00:32:29 He has been made general manager.
00:32:31 What's that got to do with it?
00:32:33 After all, you married me.
00:32:35 Gee, he's lucky.
00:32:37 How did you mean that?
00:32:39 I mean being made general manager.
00:32:41 Oh.
00:32:43 Laura says he'll be in town tomorrow.
00:32:46 Well, I hope he doesn't come out here bragging around with his big mouth.
00:32:49 He's not any smarter than I am.
00:32:51 Of course he's not.
00:32:54 I wouldn't trade you for 10 Chesters.
00:32:58 Well, you'll see.
00:32:59 I'm sorry I even spoke about him.
00:33:01 I just said he was doing well, that's all.
00:33:03 General manager, general nuisance.
00:33:14 Dagwood, what on earth are you doing?
00:33:17 Just seeing what we're having for supper.
00:33:19 What difference does it make?
00:33:21 You cover everything with ketchup anyway.
00:33:35 Dagwood.
00:33:37 Yes, dear.
00:33:38 Where are you going now?
00:33:40 I thought you wanted me to wipe the dishes.
00:33:42 Do you know how long ago that was?
00:33:44 No.
00:33:45 45 minutes.
00:33:46 You mean you've already wiped them?
00:33:47 Yes.
00:33:48 Oh, my.
00:33:49 Time surely does fly.
00:33:50 Yes, it flies faster in the living room than it does in the kitchen.
00:33:53 Yes.
00:33:54 I'm sorry, dear.
00:33:56 I forgot.
00:33:57 I was sitting here thinking.
00:33:59 About what?
00:34:00 I was thinking how this room would look without this furniture.
00:34:06 What did you say?
00:34:08 I was-- I don't know what I said.
00:34:11 Something about furniture.
00:34:12 Oh, yes.
00:34:13 I remember.
00:34:14 I said-- did I?
00:34:16 This furniture is a little out of date.
00:34:18 I guess we're lucky to have it, though.
00:34:23 I had a letter from mother today.
00:34:25 Give her my love, dear.
00:34:27 Dagwood, I don't believe you've heard a thing I've said to you all evening.
00:34:31 Yes, I did.
00:34:32 Dear, you just said you were going to write your mother.
00:34:34 I said I had a letter from mother.
00:34:36 Oh, I thought you said something like that.
00:34:39 How are things at home?
00:34:40 Mother finally bought that new car.
00:34:42 Said she and Dot might drive down tomorrow for our anniversary.
00:34:46 Oh.
00:34:49 Dagwood.
00:34:50 Yes?
00:34:51 Have you been thinking about tomorrow?
00:34:54 I couldn't think of anything all day but tomorrow.
00:34:57 Oh, darling.
00:34:59 You say the sweetest things.
00:35:01 I guess that's why I love you so much.
00:35:04 You wouldn't believe that we've been married five years, would you?
00:35:07 No.
00:35:08 I'll never forget the day of our wedding.
00:35:10 You were so scared.
00:35:12 Sure, it was the first time I'd ever been married.
00:35:14 It better be the last, too, young man.
00:35:17 Nobody could ever take your place.
00:35:19 Oh.
00:35:21 Listen.
00:35:22 What pretty waltz we loved so much before we were married.
00:35:26 Mrs. Bumstead, may I have this dance?
00:35:29 Mm-hmm.
00:35:30 [music playing]
00:35:52 Do you remember the first time you kissed me?
00:35:54 It was while we were dancing to this.
00:35:57 But you weren't looking then.
00:36:06 Dagwood, you're going to drop one of those sandwiches on your foot
00:36:09 someday and you'll be crippled for life.
00:36:11 [music playing]
00:36:27 [whispering]
00:36:28 [whispering]
00:36:57 Blondie, you ought to do something
00:36:58 about that light in the kitchen.
00:37:00 I could hardly see to make my sandwich.
00:37:02 If you could see what went into one of those sandwiches,
00:37:04 you wouldn't eat it.
00:37:06 Oh.
00:37:12 There you are on the floor in your clean pajamas.
00:37:15 What are you doing?
00:37:16 Nothing.
00:37:17 Then do it in bed.
00:37:46 [burp]
00:37:48 Dagwood, if you don't stop bolding your food,
00:37:50 you're going to die of indigestion.
00:38:02 What are you reading?
00:38:04 About that epidemic of mumps over on the east side.
00:38:06 Oh.
00:38:08 Maybe his baby dumping thing over there?
00:38:10 Of course not.
00:38:11 What would he be doing on the east side?
00:38:13 Well, he's always running away.
00:38:18 What are the symptoms of mumps anyhow?
00:38:21 Oh, I don't know.
00:38:22 Swollen jaws, I guess.
00:38:24 That's not a symptom.
00:38:25 That's mumps.
00:38:28 Now, Dagwood, don't start imagining things.
00:38:31 I'm not imagining anything.
00:38:39 Did you hear something?
00:38:41 No.
00:38:48 How'd you like a glass of water?
00:38:50 No thanks, dear.
00:38:54 Well, I'm thirsty.
00:38:56 I think I'll get a drink.
00:39:25 [music playing]
00:39:45 Hello?
00:39:46 Hello.
00:39:47 [music playing]
00:40:15 He hasn't any mumps?
00:40:17 Of course he hasn't.
00:40:20 [music playing]
00:40:45 Hello, Dagwood.
00:40:47 Hello, Chester.
00:40:49 I'm glad to see you.
00:40:50 What are you doing here?
00:40:51 Oh, just up here to see a man on business.
00:40:53 Oh.
00:40:54 Oh, Dag.
00:40:55 Come on in.
00:41:00 I'll see you later.
00:41:02 Yeah.
00:41:14 Well, we've nearly finished.
00:41:16 Gosh, I'm glad.
00:41:17 CP, there's something I want to tell you.
00:41:19 Well, what is it?
00:41:20 [phone ringing]
00:41:21 The phone's ringing.
00:41:22 Well, answer it.
00:41:25 Hello?
00:41:26 Daily Gazette calling.
00:41:28 I speak to CP Hazlip.
00:41:30 It's the Daily Gazette.
00:41:31 Ask them what they want.
00:41:32 What did you want to speak to him about?
00:41:36 Oh, [inaudible]
00:41:37 He wants a statement about that building
00:41:39 project on the south side.
00:41:41 Tell him to go chase himself.
00:41:43 He said go chase yourself.
00:41:45 Wait a minute.
00:41:46 We can't tell him that.
00:41:48 All right, tell him anything.
00:41:50 OK?
00:41:51 What do I tell him?
00:41:57 Here, give me that phone.
00:42:02 This is Hazlip.
00:42:04 I've abandoned the whole idea.
00:42:06 No.
00:42:07 No.
00:42:08 No.
00:42:09 Goodbye.
00:42:11 But you haven't abandoned the whole idea, have you?
00:42:14 No, but I'm tired of being bothered.
00:42:16 Then you're going through with the development?
00:42:18 Sure, as soon as they get this thing fixed,
00:42:20 we have to get it back before they miss it.
00:42:22 Oh.
00:42:23 You know this town pretty well, don't you?
00:42:25 Yes.
00:42:26 Well, when I get ready to go through with that plan,
00:42:28 I want to ask your advice about a few things.
00:42:30 I can give you a lot of advice, CP.
00:42:32 What do you want to know?
00:42:33 [phone ringing]
00:42:34 Huh?
00:42:35 I want to know why you brought this thing up here
00:42:40 in the first place.
00:42:41 [phone ringing]
00:42:50 Baby dumpling, see who's at the door.
00:42:53 [phone ringing]
00:42:58 Oh, dear.
00:43:00 [phone ringing]
00:43:06 What do you do?
00:43:07 Mrs. Bumstead?
00:43:08 Yes.
00:43:09 Is your husband in?
00:43:10 No, he's at his office.
00:43:11 No, he isn't.
00:43:12 I just came from there.
00:43:13 He isn't?
00:43:14 That's strange.
00:43:15 Yes, under the circumstances, it is.
00:43:18 Are you sure he's still in town?
00:43:19 Certainly.
00:43:20 Today's our wedding anniversary, and my mother and sister
00:43:22 are driving down to help us--
00:43:23 I'll wait for him at the office.
00:43:24 What is it you wanted to see him about?
00:43:26 Perhaps I could help.
00:43:27 It's a personal matter.
00:43:28 Well, you needn't mind telling me.
00:43:30 We have no secrets from each other.
00:43:32 Won't you come inside, please?
00:43:33 It's about that Elsie Watson note.
00:43:36 Elsie Watson?
00:43:37 Note?
00:43:38 Who's Elsie Watson?
00:43:40 Why did he write her a note?
00:43:42 Your husband understands all about it.
00:43:44 Oh, of course, but who is this woman?
00:43:46 If I don't find him, I'll be back.
00:43:48 But wait a minute.
00:43:49 You haven't told me.
00:43:52 Elsie Watson.
00:44:00 He saw Mr. Didders early this morning and then left.
00:44:04 I don't know when he'll be back.
00:44:06 Where can I locate him?
00:44:08 I hate to bother you, but if you will, please.
00:44:16 I'm on my way, Dad.
00:44:18 Now, don't you little boys get messy.
00:44:20 [phone ringing]
00:44:24 Hello?
00:44:25 Who-- who is this, please?
00:44:29 Elsie?
00:44:31 Is Dagwood Bumstead there?
00:44:33 Just a minute.
00:44:34 Hey, Dag.
00:44:35 It's for you.
00:44:36 Me?
00:44:42 Hello?
00:44:43 What are you doing in that hotel?
00:44:45 I'm helping a man fix a vacuum cleaner.
00:44:47 That's just dandy.
00:44:49 And I suppose that Elsie woman is his daughter.
00:44:51 Sure.
00:44:52 How'd you guess?
00:44:54 You know all the answers, don't you?
00:44:56 Hello?
00:44:57 Hello?
00:44:58 Hello?
00:44:59 Hello?
00:45:00 Dag, don't stand there saying hello like a--
00:45:02 plug this thing in.
00:45:10 Now, hold your breath.
00:45:13 [vacuum cleaner whirring]
00:45:25 [bells jingling]
00:45:32 [vacuum cleaner whirring]
00:45:42 If I were a drinking man, I'd go out and get a drink.
00:45:49 I think I will anyhow.
00:45:56 You told me this morning that you had that Hazel
00:45:58 deal in the bag, didn't you?
00:46:00 Yes, sir, but look--
00:46:01 You look.
00:46:02 Eastern millionaire to abandon building project.
00:46:05 CPAs obsessed housing plan is off.
00:46:07 Does that surprise you?
00:46:09 Why, no, sir.
00:46:10 Well, maybe this will.
00:46:11 You're fired.
00:46:13 You-- you mean I don't get a bonus?
00:46:16 You're fired.
00:46:19 And that answers your question, Mr. Hicks.
00:46:22 All right, we'll take other steps.
00:46:25 Mr. Dittus, wait a minute.
00:46:27 Mr. Dittus.
00:46:28 The loan company is attached to your final check.
00:46:30 [door opens]
00:46:46 Now, if you'll just be patient, darling, there's so many
00:46:48 things I have to explain.
00:46:50 Remember what the minister said when we were married?
00:46:52 A perfect marriage must be based on truth and understanding.
00:46:56 Yes, there was a girl in the hotel with me,
00:46:59 but we weren't alone.
00:47:00 Her father was there all the time.
00:47:02 You see, her father and I had a big deal on.
00:47:05 I know I didn't tell you anything about it.
00:47:08 I wanted to surprise you.
00:47:10 No, the girl didn't have a thing to do with me losing my job.
00:47:16 Honestly, dear, I was just up there helping her father
00:47:20 fix a vacuum cleaner.
00:47:23 You'll never get away with that one, buddy.
00:47:25 [car approaching]
00:47:49 Hey!
00:47:50 Hey!
00:47:51 Hey!
00:47:57 Dagwood!
00:48:01 See the new car, Dagwood!
00:48:05 Yes, nice.
00:48:09 I didn't know Mother and Dot were here.
00:48:11 It's a good thing for you, they are.
00:48:13 Huh?
00:48:14 Put your arms around me.
00:48:15 Now, smile.
00:48:17 What's so funny?
00:48:18 Smile.
00:48:19 I know it's funny, but we'll make the best of it
00:48:21 while Mother and Dot are here.
00:48:22 I don't want to have any trouble in front of them.
00:48:24 Are they going to stay long?
00:48:25 Shut up.
00:48:26 Keep smiling.
00:48:28 You've broken my heart, but I'll smile too.
00:48:30 Now, turn around.
00:48:32 Walk slowly.
00:48:35 Isn't it lovely to see them so happy?
00:48:39 Chaser, cheat, liar.
00:48:43 Listen, Blondie, you'll only give me a chance I can explain.
00:48:46 I don't want explanations.
00:48:47 I want alimony.
00:48:48 But you wouldn't.
00:48:49 Smile.
00:48:51 Oh, stop.
00:48:55 Such a lovely dinner.
00:48:57 Isn't Blondie the grandest cook?
00:48:59 Yes.
00:49:00 And doesn't Dagwood look handsome all dressed up?
00:49:04 Say, I think I'm going to save a piece of this cake
00:49:06 to put under my pillow.
00:49:07 But this is an anniversary cake, Dorothy.
00:49:09 You wish on a wedding cake.
00:49:11 That's right.
00:49:12 It's an anniversary cake, you just hope.
00:49:18 Save me a big piece, dear.
00:49:21 More, Mommy, more.
00:49:23 Darling, you've had enough.
00:49:25 Oh, such a face.
00:49:26 I can't help it.
00:49:27 Grandma, my chin links.
00:49:29 Here, dear, hold still.
00:49:31 But you'll wear my face out.
00:49:33 Oh, there.
00:49:35 Do you like Mommy and Daddy's anniversary, baby?
00:49:37 Not much.
00:49:38 Why not?
00:49:39 No fireworks.
00:49:41 [laughter]
00:49:45 Well, maybe the fireworks will come later.
00:49:51 Well, is everybody finished?
00:49:54 I am.
00:49:55 Then-- then we'll all go into the living room.
00:49:58 I have a big surprise for Dagwood.
00:50:01 Mother, you know what today is?
00:50:03 Yeah.
00:50:04 Can't it wait?
00:50:05 But, Dagwood, you've got to know sooner or later.
00:50:07 Then I'd sooner know later.
00:50:09 Come along, you've got to face this like a man.
00:50:14 Blondie wants to be the first to see your face.
00:50:16 Now you stand right here.
00:50:19 Grandma.
00:50:20 Yes, dear?
00:50:21 Can Daisy see the surprise, too?
00:50:23 Yes, dear, you run right along and get her.
00:50:27 Dagwood.
00:50:28 [silence]
00:50:51 It's an anniversary present to us from me.
00:50:55 But the old furniture.
00:50:57 Oh, I traded the old furniture in on this.
00:51:00 But--
00:51:01 Dagwood!
00:51:02 Grandmother!
00:51:03 Oh, his face!
00:51:05 Get some water, Dorothy.
00:51:07 Fan him.
00:51:08 Oh, a cold face.
00:51:10 I knew it would be a surprise, but I didn't expect it to be a shock.
00:51:16 Oh, Daisy, get down.
00:51:19 Has he said anything yet?
00:51:20 Here, give me that, Daisy.
00:51:23 [dog barking]
00:51:25 What's the matter?
00:51:27 Is Daddy on fire?
00:51:28 No, baby, he's just surprised.
00:51:31 Where am I?
00:51:32 Your home, dear.
00:51:33 I'm your wife.
00:51:34 Or don't you remember?
00:51:37 New furniture?
00:51:39 Yes, dear.
00:51:40 That's what I thought.
00:51:41 What did you expect to see?
00:51:43 Nothing.
00:51:44 I mean, nothing like this.
00:51:45 Are you all right now?
00:51:47 I think so.
00:51:48 How do you feel now, Dagwood?
00:51:56 Not very well.
00:51:57 I'm expecting a headache.
00:51:59 [phone ringing]
00:52:01 I'll get it.
00:52:05 Hello, Blondie.
00:52:06 Hope I'm not intruding.
00:52:08 Why, Chester, Franny, of all people.
00:52:10 Mother and daughter here.
00:52:12 Come on in and say hello.
00:52:14 They'll be so glad to see you.
00:52:16 Mr. Franny.
00:52:18 Chester, how nice.
00:52:19 How do you do, Mrs. Miller?
00:52:20 And Dorothy.
00:52:21 What a beautiful young lady she's grown to be.
00:52:24 Congratulations.
00:52:25 Oh, thank you.
00:52:27 How did you remember?
00:52:28 Well, it's one day I'm not likely to forget.
00:52:31 What a pretty speech.
00:52:32 Chester always could say the nicest things.
00:52:35 And baby Dumpling.
00:52:37 My, you're getting to be a big man.
00:52:39 Where's the dog?
00:52:41 Over there.
00:52:43 Oh, hello, Dagwood.
00:52:45 Hello, Chester.
00:52:46 Dagwood, aren't you going to shake hands with Chester?
00:52:49 You two aren't rivals anymore.
00:52:51 Oh, I saw Dagwood today at the Brinkley.
00:52:53 Oh, you didn't tell us you saw Chester.
00:52:56 Well, I forgot.
00:52:57 Lots of people forget.
00:52:58 Most men forget sometimes.
00:53:00 One thing about Chester, he never forgets.
00:53:04 Aren't those beautiful flowers?
00:53:06 Aren't they?
00:53:07 Let me smell.
00:53:09 I must put them in water.
00:53:11 Let me help.
00:53:12 Thank you.
00:53:13 We haven't done the dinner dishes yet.
00:53:14 I hate to let you see my kitchen.
00:53:16 It's such a mess.
00:53:18 I'll keep my eyes shut.
00:53:20 And your mouth, too, I hope.
00:53:32 Dot, let's do the dinner dishes, huh?
00:53:34 No, Dagwood, you don't feel well.
00:53:36 Give me time to get my breath, and Dorothy and I will do them.
00:53:40 How's everything going, Blondie?
00:53:42 Just grand.
00:53:43 Well, I received your note, and--
00:53:44 And we're glad to have you.
00:53:46 Here, let me help you.
00:53:49 Are you happy?
00:53:50 Of course.
00:53:51 What a question.
00:53:53 Well, how's Dagwood getting along?
00:53:55 Oh, he's doing awfully well.
00:53:57 Awfully.
00:54:01 Gone long enough to grow the flowers.
00:54:04 What did you say, Dagwood?
00:54:05 I could say a lot of things if I had a chance.
00:54:07 Oh, what do you want to say?
00:54:08 Well, nothing.
00:54:10 Oh.
00:54:20 Look, Mother, aren't they lovely?
00:54:23 And so autistic.
00:54:25 [phone ringing]
00:54:26 Oh, I'll answer it.
00:54:31 By the way, Blondie, haven't you some new furniture since I was here last?
00:54:34 When were you here last?
00:54:36 It's for you, Dagwood.
00:54:38 Who is it?
00:54:39 Who is it, please?
00:54:41 It's Elsie.
00:54:45 Elsie?
00:54:46 Elsie.
00:54:48 Elsie.
00:54:50 Elsie?
00:54:51 Yeah, Elsie.
00:54:53 Hello?
00:54:54 Hey, Dag, Dad wants to know where you put the handle to the vacuum cleaner.
00:54:58 It's in the closet.
00:55:03 In the B-E-D-R-O-O-M.
00:55:07 Bedroom.
00:55:09 Bedroom?
00:55:11 Oh.
00:55:16 Blondie, don't.
00:55:17 Oh.
00:55:21 You take your hands off my wife.
00:55:23 What Blondie needs now is a friend.
00:55:24 Yeah, since when do you know what my wife needs?
00:55:26 Why, you--
00:55:27 Daddy, a fur coat.
00:55:29 All right, you asked for it.
00:55:34 You want to fight, huh?
00:55:36 You want to fight?
00:55:37 Dagwood, upstairs.
00:55:38 Don't you dare.
00:55:39 Dorothy, take the baby upstairs.
00:55:41 I don't want to stay.
00:55:42 I don't want to stay.
00:55:43 I don't want to go upstairs.
00:55:44 I don't want to stay.
00:55:45 I apologize to everyone.
00:55:47 I suppose I'd better leave.
00:55:49 Blondie, if you need me, just call.
00:55:53 Oh, you've made a fine mess of our anniversary.
00:55:56 Control yourself, dear.
00:55:57 I can't.
00:55:58 I can't control myself any longer.
00:56:00 No one knows what I've gone through today.
00:56:02 I tried to smile and bear up, but this is the last straw.
00:56:05 That woman calling you up in my house in front of my baby.
00:56:08 Oh, how could you?
00:56:10 Blondie, I can explain everything if you'll give me just 15 minutes.
00:56:13 You couldn't explain Elsie in 15 years.
00:56:15 The man was here and told me about her in the note.
00:56:18 Blondie, that's different from what you think.
00:56:20 That's serious.
00:56:21 Serious?
00:56:22 Sure, she's a different Elsie.
00:56:24 I can explain her, too.
00:56:26 Two Elsies?
00:56:27 No wonder you fainted.
00:56:29 Blondie, listen to what I have to say.
00:56:32 It would only be more lies.
00:56:34 Blondie, Blondie, darling.
00:56:35 You, you philanthropist.
00:56:41 If you won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to somebody else.
00:56:46 Oh, darling, you mustn't.
00:56:49 This is a time to be brave.
00:56:53 [car engine]
00:56:55 [car engine]
00:56:57 [car engine]
00:57:00 [car engine]
00:57:04 Oh, my car's been stolen.
00:57:07 Police, police.
00:57:08 Dorothy, Chester.
00:57:10 Where are you?
00:57:11 The April Deadman.
00:57:12 Where is someone?
00:57:14 Oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:57:15 Help me, help me.
00:57:16 Are you a policeman?
00:57:17 No, but I have a seizure order for the furniture in this house.
00:57:20 Go ahead, boys.
00:57:21 My car's been stolen.
00:57:22 Oh, help me, help me.
00:57:23 Somebody help me.
00:57:24 Dial operator and say I want a policeman.
00:57:26 Oh.
00:57:27 [phone ringing]
00:57:31 Oh, hello, operator, operator, hello.
00:57:35 I tell you, you have to help me.
00:57:36 It's a matter of life and death.
00:57:37 My wife, she's leaving me.
00:57:39 Everybody's leaving me.
00:57:40 They won't even let me talk.
00:57:41 We've been letting you talk for 10 minutes,
00:57:43 and I can't make heads or tails of it.
00:57:45 Can you, Elsie?
00:57:46 No, but I'm beginning to think we're mixed up in it somehow.
00:57:49 Of course you are.
00:57:50 That's why you have to help me.
00:57:51 Dag, get a grip on yourself.
00:57:53 This time, you've really hit the jackpot with your tinkering.
00:57:56 No, Elsie, that isn't it.
00:57:57 It's something about another Elsie,
00:57:58 or Elsie isn't making himself clear.
00:58:00 This is no time for puns.
00:58:02 Easy, Dag.
00:58:03 You're getting yourself all worked up over nothing.
00:58:05 That's a trouble.
00:58:06 She won't believe it's nothing.
00:58:08 Well, what do you want us to do?
00:58:09 Help me.
00:58:10 Oh, that's easy.
00:58:11 Elsie, get your raps.
00:58:12 We'll all go over to your house and straighten it out.
00:58:15 Oh, would you?
00:58:16 Sure, I was wanting some fresh air anyhow.
00:58:19 [clattering]
00:58:21 It still won't work.
00:58:26 All right, I'm ready.
00:58:29 Please, Dad, get that thing out of here
00:58:31 before it causes any more trouble.
00:58:33 Maybe we ought to take it along to prove things.
00:58:35 Yes, let's do.
00:58:36 Here, Dag, you take it.
00:58:39 Here, wrap this around it, just in case.
00:58:43 Oh, oh, yeah.
00:58:48 Wait a minute.
00:58:49 There's one thing I want to know.
00:58:52 Your word of honor on this.
00:58:54 Did your wife give you that black eye?
00:58:57 No.
00:58:58 Very well.
00:58:59 I'll talk to her, and in no time at all, I'll fix it.
00:59:01 You'll fix it.
00:59:02 Well, here we go, ready or not.
00:59:04 Dag, is this the first time you've ever driven this car?
00:59:12 Yes.
00:59:13 This is the first time I've ever driven any car.
00:59:15 [tires screeching]
00:59:17 [tires screeching]
00:59:19 Don't look now, but I think we hit a police car.
00:59:22 Oh.
00:59:23 In a big hurry, pal?
00:59:31 Yes, you see, I'm going--
00:59:32 We know where you're going.
00:59:34 I'm sorry, officer.
00:59:35 So are we.
00:59:36 We're all broken up about it.
00:59:37 I held my hand out.
00:59:38 What's your name?
00:59:39 Dagwood Bumstead.
00:59:41 And this is Mr. C.P. Hazlett and his daughter, Elsie.
00:59:44 Let's don't get too formal.
00:59:46 This is a stolen car.
00:59:47 We had a report on it.
00:59:48 OK, break up that crowd, and we're
00:59:49 falling into the station.
00:59:50 Keep your hands on that wheel, pal.
00:59:52 You stay where you are, too.
00:59:53 This isn't a stolen car, officer.
00:59:55 It belongs to my mother-in-law.
00:59:56 Yeah?
00:59:57 I suppose that's your mother-in-law's body.
00:59:59 Who does this belong to?
01:00:05 It's mine, but you can have it.
01:00:09 Property of the Hotel Brinkley.
01:00:11 Do not remove from premises.
01:00:13 No thanks, pal.
01:00:14 You're stuck with it.
01:00:16 Dad, this is the most fun we've had since you took
01:00:18 that farmer's tractor apart.
01:00:19 Shh.
01:00:20 Move over.
01:00:21 Huh?
01:00:22 Move over.
01:00:24 I should have known better.
01:00:27 Never speak to strangers in a hotel lobby.
01:00:30 Don't worry, Dag.
01:00:34 I'll have you out of here in no time.
01:00:35 Now, listen, Sergeant.
01:00:36 This is unprecedented, unconstitutional, and--
01:00:39 Unexpected.
01:00:41 I can explain it all in 10 words.
01:00:43 You'll have a chance in the morning.
01:00:44 Lock him up.
01:00:46 Let me be the last to congratulate you.
01:00:48 You've done it again.
01:00:49 Yeah.
01:00:50 What's this girl got to do with it?
01:00:52 You tell him, Dag.
01:00:53 I've been trying to figure that out myself.
01:00:55 She hasn't anything to do with this, Sergeant.
01:00:57 She's just an innocent bystander.
01:00:59 Innocent bystander.
01:01:00 They probably have a love list.
01:01:02 Well, she can go, but we're holding you.
01:01:05 Sergeant, could I just say a word to my wife?
01:01:07 All right, but be quick about it.
01:01:11 At least you'll have a bed to sleep in.
01:01:13 How can I sleep when I may never see you again?
01:01:16 But I want you to know I love you.
01:01:18 That's a fine speech for a cab to make.
01:01:24 Chester, you've had this coming for a long time.
01:01:29 Hey, wait a minute.
01:01:30 What's going on?
01:01:31 Don't you know better than to hit a man in a police station?
01:01:34 If I'm going to jail, I'm going good.
01:01:36 Good.
01:01:37 Lock him up.
01:01:38 No, no.
01:01:40 Is your name Elsie?
01:01:41 Yes.
01:01:42 Then if it weren't for you, this never would have happened.
01:01:44 Oh, me?
01:01:46 Just how do you mix me up in this?
01:01:47 Listen, any more trouble around here tonight and I'll lock you all up.
01:01:51 Yes, sir.
01:01:52 That is of no interest to this court.
01:02:03 Your willingness to reimburse the hotel might interest the hotel.
01:02:06 But the facts are that you removed a vacuum cleaner from the premises of the hotel
01:02:10 and it wasn't your vacuum cleaner.
01:02:12 Look at the car.
01:02:14 And you took an automobile that didn't belong to you.
01:02:18 The fact that the car belonged to your mother-in-law may alter the situation somewhat.
01:02:23 Nevertheless, you're guilty of a criminal action.
01:02:26 Mommy, why doesn't Daddy say something?
01:02:30 Order, order.
01:02:33 In addition, you have both been most inconsiderate of others.
01:02:36 You jeopardized the properties which you say you only borrowed.
01:02:39 Borrowing technically requires the permission of the lender.
01:02:42 That you did not obtain.
01:02:44 Your conduct has been thoughtless and reckless.
01:02:46 I might say criminally thoughtless and reckless.
01:02:48 And therefore deserving of severe punishment.
01:02:50 Judge, your honor, don't. Please don't.
01:02:53 Order, order.
01:02:54 What is your connection with this case?
01:02:57 I'm his wife.
01:02:58 Whose wife?
01:02:59 The one who stole the automobile.
01:03:01 In that case, proceed with what you have to say.
01:03:03 It's all my fault, your honor.
01:03:05 Why, he wouldn't do anything wrong for the world.
01:03:08 He's just like a baby.
01:03:10 You can't send him to jail.
01:03:11 Well, what would he do?
01:03:13 He needs me, judge.
01:03:15 Last night was the first night he's been away from me since baby was born.
01:03:19 Just one night and he's a wreck.
01:03:21 Look at him.
01:03:23 I lost my hat.
01:03:25 Mother would have loaned him her car.
01:03:27 Only he forgot to ask her.
01:03:29 It's all my fault.
01:03:30 I'm the one to be punished.
01:03:32 I was jealous.
01:03:34 And he went after Mr. Hazlip and his daughter to prove I had no right to be.
01:03:38 You see, it all started because I kept nagging him about a raise.
01:03:42 No, you didn't.
01:03:44 Yes, I did too.
01:03:45 No, you didn't, dear.
01:03:46 Now listen. Make up your mind.
01:03:48 Did she or didn't she?
01:03:49 She did.
01:03:50 Continue.
01:03:52 As for the vacuum cleaner, neither one of them meant to steal it.
01:03:56 They just like to tinker.
01:03:58 Dagwood's always tinkering.
01:04:00 It's the little boy in him.
01:04:02 Most men have a lot of little boy in them.
01:04:04 I bet even you like to take things apart and put them back together.
01:04:08 Proceed.
01:04:12 So that hasn't anything to do with it.
01:04:15 It's just me.
01:04:16 I promise I'll never do it again.
01:04:18 Can't you let me off, judge?
01:04:20 Let you off?
01:04:21 Just a minute, young lady. You're not on trial here.
01:04:24 Oh, yes, I am.
01:04:25 If it's a criminal action, then I'm the criminal.
01:04:28 Mrs. Bumstead, it's refreshing to hear a wife express her willingness to share her husband's troubles.
01:04:33 That, after all, is an attitude of give and take which makes marriage a success.
01:04:37 But I suggest that you confine your obligations to your home.
01:04:41 Don't be an office wife.
01:04:43 Mr. Bumstead, you're to be congratulated in having such a mate.
01:04:48 But you must learn to curb your impulsiveness.
01:04:51 Mr. Hayslip?
01:04:53 A man of your means could devote himself to higher and more worthy pursuits than dissecting vacuum cleaners.
01:05:01 Business dismissal.
01:05:04 Next case.
01:05:05 From now on, I'm attending strictly to business.
01:05:08 So am I.
01:05:09 By the way, Dag, what is your business?
01:05:10 Oh, he works for the J.C. Dither's company.
01:05:12 Dither's? No.
01:05:14 And you came over to see me about that Southside development?
01:05:18 Well, why didn't you say so?
01:05:21 The deal's yours. Just tell your company to submit their plans.
01:05:24 Dagwood, isn't that wonderful?
01:05:26 But I lost my job.
01:05:28 You lost your job?
01:05:30 Oh, you poor boy.
01:05:32 Don't worry about that.
01:05:34 They'll take you back when they find out you have my proposition sewed up.
01:05:37 Oh, Mr. Hayslip. Mr. Hayslip, I'm J.C. Dither's.
01:05:40 I just wanted you to know that we're not responsible for the trouble Bumstead's caused you.
01:05:44 He's no longer connected with my firm.
01:05:46 Oh, that's too bad. Goodbye, Dag. Come along, dear.
01:05:49 You've been so sweet.
01:05:50 We'll expect you over at the hotel this evening, and thanks again, Mrs. Bumstead, for my freedom.
01:05:54 Now, about that Southside development...
01:05:56 It's all in Mr. Bumstead's hands.
01:05:58 Excuse me.
01:06:00 Sir Dagwood, how are you?
01:06:04 I was just on the way over to see what I could do for you.
01:06:07 Well, you look all worn out. Maybe you'd better take the rest of the day off.
01:06:10 Just a minute. Dagwood isn't working for you anymore. You fired him.
01:06:14 Nonsense. Dagwood and I had a little disagreement, but we understand each other, don't we, Dagwood?
01:06:19 The only thing Dagwood understands is he's fired.
01:06:22 But we have a gentleman's agreement. He's to get a $10 raise and $600 bonus.
01:06:27 You had an agreement, Mr. Dither's, but you fired him, and that changes everything.
01:06:31 What do you mean, Blondie?
01:06:33 I mean it's not enough. I mean Dagwood can take this contract and go into business for himself.
01:06:38 Why, he wouldn't do anything like that to me, would you, Dagwood?
01:06:42 Oh, yes, he would.
01:06:44 Little old $10 raise and $600 bonus. Your salesman get two and a half percent.
01:06:50 But that's $5,000.
01:06:52 Exactly. And as for a raise, Dagwood ought to get $20 after all he's been through.
01:06:58 Dagwood, you're a hard man to do business with. All right, it's a deal.
01:07:02 No, it's not a deal. We want $1,000 right away.
01:07:05 But it's only $563, isn't it?
01:07:08 $1,000 in advance.
01:07:10 All right, come over to the office and get the check, but don't you be late tomorrow.
01:07:14 What?
01:07:15 I mean, send him over at a reasonable time, will you?
01:07:18 Dagwood, you were wonderful.
01:07:22 Yeah, with $1,000 we can get the furniture and pay off everything.
01:07:27 Baby Dumpling, I thought he was with you.
01:07:30 He's lost. You go that way and I'll go this way.
01:07:33 Baby Dumpling! Baby Dumpling!
01:07:36 Baby Dumpling!
01:07:38 Baby Dumpling!
01:07:40 Baby Dumpling!
01:07:42 Baby Dumpling, what are you doing?
01:07:50 I'm hoping the man fixes it.
01:07:52 That's right, but I think we'll have to take the whole thing apart.
01:07:55 You will?
01:07:57 Huh?
01:07:58 Oh, boy.
01:08:00 Baby Dumpling!
01:08:03 [clicking]
01:08:05 Dagwood!
01:08:16 But I...
01:08:18 [barking]
01:08:20 Sometimes I think it's harder to raise a husband than a baby.
01:08:26 [music]
01:08:28 [laughing]
01:08:31 [laughing]
01:08:33 (dramatic music)