Inspirational mum from Dartford to run a marathon in memory of late teenage daughter
Catherine O'Connor says the idea of running and raising money for Brain Tumour Research came after she and her daughter, Ellie, spent time with one another at Boot Camp Training sessions whilst she was undergoing treatment.
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00:00 We lost Ellie on the 8th of October 2023, very suddenly.
00:05 She'd seemed to have been getting better following surgery to remove a tumour from her cerebellum
00:11 in August 2022 and unfortunately she suddenly developed hydrocephalus
00:16 and deteriorated very rapidly. Within probably 24 hours of starting symptoms
00:25 she'd started fitting and then she went into cardiac arrest. She was rushed to King's College
00:30 Hospital from our local hospital, underwent surgery to put a shunt in to reduce the swelling
00:36 and the pressure on her brain but unfortunately she never woke up. The damage was catastrophic
00:42 to her brain from the hydrocephalus and she was pronounced brain stem dead on the 8th of October,
00:48 just three days after we'd initially taken her to hospital. And then she went on to do organ donation.
00:54 It's been very difficult, three months for me, for all of our family. My husband, her step-sister,
01:02 her sister, we've all struggled and grappled to try to develop any sort of normality out of what's
01:09 happened. The only thing that we can do is try to continue on in Ellie's memory. She was an extremely
01:16 positive person, very kind, big heart, fun loving and we're just trying to embrace her memory and
01:24 try to put one foot in front of the other and move forward with life but it's difficult.
01:28 Yeah, I'm so sorry for your loss and thank you so much for coming on to tell us a little bit
01:32 more about this, especially as it's happened so recently. You said she was a very positive person
01:38 so could you tell us a little bit more about what she was like as a person as well?
01:41 Yeah, so she never complained. She was positive in everything in her life. She had a part-time job
01:50 at John Lewis in Bluewater. She was a student at the University of Greenwich, an undergraduate
01:56 student studying criminology and criminal justice. She had a nice closed circle of friends.
02:02 She was supportive to everybody and Ellie was a very non-judgmental, open person. She was a people
02:11 person. People instantly felt warmth from her because she never judged anybody. She saw the
02:16 person and not anything about them that was different to her or that maybe sometimes put
02:23 other people off. She went into everything she did with 100% determination to achieve
02:30 and she was just a really great person to be around because she was so fun loving and loved life.
02:38 And you're doing this fundraiser now as well to try and raise some money and raise awareness as
02:45 well. So tell us a little bit more about that. So when Ellie passed away, she was being cremated.
02:51 So rather than people bringing flower donations that we wouldn't really have had anything to do
02:56 with, we thought it would be better for any donations people wanted to make in that respect
03:01 to go to a charity. And of course, Brain Tumour Research is the charity that we supported on
03:08 behalf of Ellie because I want to help to have more positive outcomes for other people. And if
03:16 we can do something towards that in Ellie's name and in her memory, then that for us is something
03:23 positive. If we can help fund research into brain tumours and into causes, treatments,
03:29 so people have better outcomes, then I know that if Ellie was here and she'd survive this,
03:35 that's what she would push herself into. So that's why we're doing it. That is our motivation
03:41 to help others in her name. And you used to do boot camp and exercise sessions with Ellie,
03:47 didn't you? So did that sort of help you to get into the sort of the training that you're doing
03:51 now for Ellie? Yeah, so I've always come in and out of exercise. I've done a lot of running since
03:55 I had my children years and years ago. I probably started about 16 years ago, stopped, started gym
04:00 memberships here and there, hadn't done a lot over the last few years. And then after Ellie had
04:07 surgery in 2022 to remove her brain tumour, she sort of struggled to put weight back on and to
04:13 build muscle. So we got her a PT and that person also runs a boot camp, a four seasons boot camp
04:20 in Bexley. And we started going there together to the boot camp. So she'd do her PT sessions and
04:26 then we'd go to the boot camp together. And it was just a fun way, you know, you met new people
04:32 and people support and encourage each other there. So it's just a really nice way to exercise while
04:39 it not feeling like such a challenge. And so I went back there a while after Ellie's funeral
04:46 and continued on. And it just kind of, it's a positive place for me because I've got really
04:52 fond memories of the months that me and Ellie spent going there and doing the boot camps together.
04:56 And it's obviously really good training for the marathon as well.
04:59 Yeah. So is the marathon, is that sort of different from anything you've done before?
05:03 And how are you finding the training? Are you finding it difficult preparing for it?
05:07 I think mentally it really helps me because, you know, even if I'm having a bad day, I know
05:12 that I'm committed to this. I'm going to get out of the house. I'm going to go and I'm going to do
05:17 this in respect of anything I've done before. The most I've done before is a 10K run. Other than
05:23 that, nothing. So the training is a bit gruelling. The long runs are a bit gruelling at times, but
05:28 it's that sense of achievement and sense of you're doing something for a really good cause at the
05:32 end of it. And that drives you through. And often when I'm running, I'm just replaying memories of
05:37 us, conversations of us playing songs that she liked. And that kind of helps me get through as
05:43 well. So it's kind of, it helps me be a bit more positive because sometimes you do find days when
05:51 it's really difficult to lift yourself from that immense sadness and emptiness that I feel
05:55 at the loss of my daughter. And where can people donate towards this cause as well?
06:01 So there's a Just Giving page and they can donate towards the Just Giving page for my marathon
06:07 effort. Alternatively, anyone can donate towards Brain Tumour Research. They're a registered
06:13 charity and obviously all donations to them are welcome to support the great work that they're
06:19 doing to research. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it.
06:24 And I wish you luck with the marathon. I hope it all goes well. We'll have to
06:27 touch base once you've done it as well. Yes, definitely. Find out how it's gone.