Us and Them - When generations clash - Struggles
María in Mexico wants an end to violence against women; Somkele is fighting for democracy in Nigeria. But their parents have mixed feelings about their children’s activism. After all, political engagement can be dangerous.
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00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03 Is there violence in Mexico against women and girls?
00:21 They kill us just for being women.
00:23 That's femicide.
00:29 She's risking a lot.
00:31 I really worry about her.
00:34 I can't imagine losing a child.
00:38 Yes, it drives me crazy.
00:40 I tell Maria, don't be so stubborn.
00:41 Something could happen to you.
00:43 But she doesn't understand.
00:44 [SPEAKING SPANISH]
00:47 The count is massive.
00:48 We have a massive gun out there.
00:50 Just to support, just to lend your voice out,
00:53 just to speak up.
00:54 Not a one that I change.
00:57 There needs to be a revolution, a strong revolution that
01:00 will change everything, that will wash and purge
01:02 the system.
01:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:06 I'm afraid because people in Nigeria are dangerous.
01:12 [YELLING]
01:15 I don't want to lose him.
01:17 I don't want anything to happen to him.
01:19 They forget the fact that I could end up being that person
01:22 who changed everything.
01:25 Do you ever fight with your parents about political issues?
01:29 Do you want to change the world and your mom and dad
01:31 disagree or are worried?
01:33 Sound familiar?
01:34 Young and old, our realities and dreams can be so different.
01:43 Seriously, it seems like there's a huge gap
01:46 between the generations.
01:48 Sometimes we just don't get each other.
01:52 The question is, can we fix it?
01:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:58 Every day in Mexico, 10 or 11 women are killed.
02:19 That's all because of the machismo that exists here.
02:22 Mexico is a dangerous place.
02:29 It's fear, fear and powerlessness.
02:32 I'm afraid the violence will come from Maria too.
02:39 It gets closer each time you hear about something
02:41 happening to someone you know.
02:49 [SPEAKING SPANISH]
02:51 I do graffiti.
02:54 I try to do things peacefully, though some people
02:57 see graffiti as too radical.
02:59 It's a way of calling attention to the situation
03:07 better than nothing.
03:08 I don't think she's mature enough yet
03:16 to know what the consequences of her actions are.
03:18 [SPEAKING SPANISH]
03:20 At the end of the day, I'm an adult, a young adult
03:28 who's aware of her decisions and actions.
03:30 Yes, it's fear.
03:38 In Mexico, women as well as their families
03:41 live in a kind of paranoia, a horrible paranoia.
03:44 [SPEAKING SPANISH]
03:46 Mexican women are in danger.
03:51 More than 10 Mexican women are murdered every day,
03:55 and tens of thousands are missing.
03:57 For women, one of the most dangerous countries
03:59 in the world.
04:00 In 2022, seven out of 10 women here experienced violence,
04:05 and the numbers keep increasing.
04:08 A quarter of all Mexican women have
04:10 been victims of sexual violence.
04:13 But only 1% of cases end in convictions.
04:16 I was born and raised in Lagos.
04:30 It's an angry city, you know?
04:37 Nigeria is at this verge of collapsing totally.
04:42 There's poverty in the land.
04:43 There's illiteracy, corruption.
04:47 We need a total reform.
04:49 There needs to be a revolution.
04:51 A revolution is what Nigeria needs at this point.
04:54 I'm afraid because people in Nigeria are dangerous.
05:00 They understand.
05:01 They are wicked.
05:02 The power is in us.
05:06 The power is actually in our hands.
05:09 We should rewrite the Constitution
05:13 because there's no transparency.
05:14 There should be laws in place.
05:17 Laws that no one has the power to manipulate or change.
05:24 How can he achieve that?
05:28 How can Sokela achieve that?
05:37 I am politically active and always advocating
05:41 for better government and democracy.
05:44 What I do when we are on the streets is educating.
05:51 We inform.
05:53 We encourage.
05:54 We advise.
05:56 We evangelize.
05:58 We spread the gospel.
06:00 We are calling on people to be aware
06:03 or to be politically active.
06:06 Not just for the sake, but for them to know
06:10 that you as a person, you have the strength.
06:14 What is the political situation in Nigeria?
06:17 While presidential and parliamentary elections
06:20 are held every four years, they're
06:22 not usually very democratic.
06:24 Voters are often bribed or threatened
06:26 to vote for particular candidates, many of whom
06:30 belong to established networks of rich and powerful Nigerians.
06:34 In the oil-rich country, corruption
06:36 is widespread in both politics and the economy.
06:40 And often a politician's ethnicity
06:42 plays a role in elections.
06:44 Nigeria does have the largest economy in Africa,
06:47 but almost half of its population
06:49 has to live on less than two euros a day.
06:52 Unemployment is high, especially among young people.
06:56 Half of Nigerians are under 19 years old.
07:02 It happened with my ex-boyfriend.
07:04 He raped me, not just once, but several times.
07:09 He emotionally manipulated me.
07:12 He told me that if I didn't want to have sex with him,
07:15 it was because I was with someone else,
07:18 or because I didn't love him anymore,
07:21 or because I was a lesbian.
07:23 He told me that if I didn't want to have sex with him,
07:26 it was because I was with someone else,
07:29 or because I didn't love him anymore,
07:32 or because I was a whore.
07:34 He manipulated me in different ways
07:40 so that he could have sex with me.
07:43 But most of the time it was without my consent.
07:47 I had no idea.
07:55 I was shocked.
07:57 It was a blow that I never saw coming.
08:00 I felt powerless.
08:03 I was really angry at this person.
08:06 I wanted to go and beat him up.
08:09 Let out all of my anger.
08:15 But I could have gotten into serious trouble, legal trouble.
08:26 Now I see Maria going out onto the streets,
08:29 and every time it makes me very afraid.
08:32 The shooting at the Lekki toll gate on the 20th of October 2020.
08:56 It was a very terrible experience.
08:59 I literally felt powerless.
09:02 The only reason why I wasn't there
09:09 was because the whole area was blocked.
09:12 On October 20th, 2020,
09:15 the Lekki tollgate massacre shocked Nigeria.
09:18 The Nigerian army fired on a group of young, peaceful,
09:22 unarmed demonstrators on a toll road
09:25 leading to the Lekki district in Lagos.
09:28 At least 12 people were killed in the shooting
09:37 and dozens more were injured.
09:40 The protest had been directed primarily against
09:43 an especially violent unit of the police.
09:46 After the shooting, further protests erupted across the country.
09:50 Let's go, let's go, let's go.
09:53 The protest was everywhere.
09:56 So in my area, we had our own encounter.
09:59 I think it was a day after the killings at Lekki.
10:04 Angry youths were coming out and attacking
10:09 some police stations and all.
10:11 They were approaching the police station there.
10:14 And all of the police officers were all out with their guns.
10:20 He was trying to video the incident.
10:25 And they were shooting guns.
10:28 So I started shouting,
10:31 "You should come inside, they will shoot you."
10:47 And me, I had to report, I had to get things on record.
10:50 Because that was a very sensitive period in Nigeria.
10:53 We had to retain or capture every single information.
10:57 So you know, you have my mum trying to prevent me.
11:02 I know we had a struggle.
11:05 You understand, there was a struggle at that point.
11:08 Her fears are valid,
11:10 but she didn't just understand what it was for me.
11:13 I had to do what I had to do.
11:15 [Shouting]
11:18 The protest on March 8th, 2019, affected me a lot.
11:29 That was the moment when my eyes were opened
11:34 and I realised how much women are suffering.
11:37 I started seeing videos of women who had been raped
11:40 by their partners or by strangers.
11:44 Or maybe a father raping his daughters,
11:47 or killing them, or men killing their wives.
11:51 The big problem is that they're killing us
11:55 and the government is doing nothing to stop it.
11:58 The state doesn't do anything.
12:12 Leyla!
12:14 When I go to protests, do graffiti,
12:20 or share information on social media,
12:23 I feel strong.
12:25 But it's a rage that won't stop until they stop killing us.
12:40 [Singing]
12:43 [Singing]
12:46 [Singing]
12:49 [Singing]
13:16 The relationship between Mexican society
13:19 and Mexican women is terrible.
13:22 My mom was born in the 1920s.
13:30 She had to be a tough woman.
13:33 In those days, the men they married were quite macho.
13:44 My father was a very cultured person,
13:47 but unfortunately a violent one.
13:50 Extremely violent.
13:53 We had to get away.
13:59 My mother, my brother and I left that house.
14:04 I was three years old when we left him.
14:09 My mother sent both of us to boarding school.
14:12 It was a military boarding school.
14:15 We learned to live with the beatings.
14:21 That's not great.
14:25 It can really twist your mindset, don't you think?
14:34 I've tried to change things,
14:37 to give everything I didn't get as a child.
14:40 Now I try to give everything, really everything.
14:45 My father left his family in the early 2000s.
14:49 He was a very strong man.
14:52 He was a very strong man.
14:56 He was a very strong man.
15:00 He was a very strong man.
15:04 He was a very strong man.
15:08 He was a very strong man.
15:13 He was a very strong man.
15:16 He was a very strong man.
15:20 He was a very strong man.
15:24 He was a very strong man.
15:28 He was a very strong man.
15:32 He was a very strong man.
15:36 He was a very strong man.
15:41 We were surprised when he left.
15:44 My father used to be like that.
15:47 Superhero, that person, that God I see.
15:50 I love my father very much.
15:53 When there's no balance,
15:56 me being with my mother, it's always all about being careful.
15:59 I've always lived my life in fear.
16:02 I never had that confidence that, yes, there's someone behind me.
16:08 Because he's the first one, he has responsibility.
16:13 Because the father is not there.
16:18 He's like a father now.
16:21 Help me, help the siblings.
16:24 I know he's a small boy, but he has to try now.
16:30 All this while I've been the one doing everything.
16:34 So that is why I want him to work and help me.
16:37 Because I need help and I'm getting old.
16:40 My dad at some point was active in politics.
16:52 He ran for office, he ran for House of Assembly,
16:55 back in my hometown at some point.
16:58 The father contested the election in 2007, but he fell.
17:03 My father's political engagement influenced me.
17:06 It was just all around me.
17:09 The talks and stuff about politics and whatnot
17:12 was always around the corner.
17:15 I think Sonkele, he wants to achieve more than his father.
17:18 He wants to show his father that that is what I think.
17:21 He wants to show that that's something he cannot do, that he can do it.
17:28 He's going to be a carnivore. He's going to be a grandmother of all rallies.
17:33 He's surely going to be proud of this.
17:40 But I don't know if he sees it or if he knows about it.
17:43 I don't really care, though.
17:46 I'm just going to do what I can to help him.
17:49 I'm going to do what I can to help him.
17:52 I'm going to do what I can to help him.
17:55 I don't really care, though.
17:58 I'm just focused on myself and getting results.
18:01 So I don't stress myself or the person who's going to carry me on my back.
18:05 Sonke, make sure you stand up!
18:08 This young Nigerian man, we are blessed to have him in our midst.
18:13 Wow!
18:15 Without him, we wouldn't have been able to appreciate you.
18:18 The father will be proud of him.
18:23 [Music]
18:26 I think there are a lot more activists in my generation than in previous generations.
18:46 We're the ones who are speaking out, who are fighting against what could happen,
18:53 who are making noise.
18:56 [Music]
18:59 I think social networks are a great tool that helps us with our activism.
19:07 When I was Maria's age, I didn't fight against machismo or gender inequality
19:14 because I saw it as something normal.
19:17 It didn't seem like a bad thing.
19:20 Maybe I was annoyed sometimes by the way things were done,
19:25 like the way my father treated my mother.
19:28 But I thought it was normal.
19:31 That's the way things were.
19:34 [Music]
19:41 I see my generation and the generations that will come after me as strong.
19:46 We're not going to let them treat us badly in the workplace.
19:51 Like, for example, my parents' generation might be used to bad treatment from a boss.
19:58 They're sensitive, right?
20:04 I mean, they get offended very easily.
20:08 Not me.
20:11 For something to offend me, it has to be something terrible, very rude.
20:16 But nowadays, if you say something to a young person, it's no joke.
20:21 You can't call them idiots.
20:24 It's like a punch in the face.
20:27 We complain because things are unjust.
20:30 We demand our rights.
20:33 [Music]
20:37 [Music]
20:40 The generation of my mother and my father,
20:44 with their experience with the military regime, they had no say.
20:49 Obviously, it was going to affect their ideology or mentality.
20:54 And we understand that fact.
20:56 But we are coming out to speak because we know that there could be a change
21:01 if we all collectively come out to speak with one voice.
21:06 [Music]
21:09 The elders are believed to be wise.
21:14 They are kind of gods on earth who we see, who should direct us, who should guide us.
21:19 But unfortunately, the reverse is the case in Nigeria.
21:22 Because these elders are shameless people.
21:25 They do not care.
21:28 They've ruined things for us.
21:30 My generation are kind of more fearless.
21:33 That is why they see this generation as rude.
21:37 As long as your father or your mother have told you, "Don't do this thing,"
21:41 you have to obey. You will not do it.
21:44 Now is a new generation, so they will not like to listen to you.
21:49 [Music]
21:52 So what your father and I were talking about,
21:59 about the last march you went to.
22:02 You went with friends.
22:05 Want some sauce?
22:08 I think that much, much more needs to be done
22:13 so that women have the right to make decisions about their own bodies,
22:18 like whether or not they want to have an abortion.
22:22 This is exactly what your mother and I have been discussing.
22:26 I also said at this table that you have to be very careful,
22:29 because you can put yourself in danger,
22:32 and that can put the stability of the family at risk.
22:35 If something happened to you, that would endanger the family's stability.
22:40 But at the end of the day,
22:43 no social problem has ever been solved peacefully.
22:48 So unfortunately, it has to be aggressive, not careful.
22:53 How sad.
22:56 It's very sad, but that's why I'm saying this.
22:59 The problems aren't being fixed.
23:02 But please, it's also really important that you look after yourself.
23:06 Things do have to change, but it's so dangerous.
23:10 So many women have been murdered,
23:14 and with all these complaints, the police do nothing.
23:19 So women have organized, and they march and they make noise.
23:23 And the aggressors hear that noise.
23:26 Well, sometimes they don't.
23:29 But it still helps, because the government is doing nothing.
23:34 We have to make noise so that they'll hear us.
23:38 If we don't, they won't listen.
23:42 If we don't make noise, they won't act.
23:46 I understand that.
23:49 But not the aggression.
23:52 Like graffitiing the monuments.
23:55 I keep saying that I'm not okay with that.
23:58 Nor am I.
24:00 No.
24:02 But what if I had a loved one who was missing or killed?
24:05 What then?
24:07 Maybe then I would be okay with it.
24:09 And if they killed me, what would you do?
24:12 Do you think that killing people on fire, vandalize and destroy things,
24:17 is a vandalized monument worse than a life cut short?
24:21 I don't have anybody. Please.
24:29 Nobody. Nobody.
24:31 I don't like their politics.
24:34 Did I go and do politics?
24:37 We are just activists.
24:39 What does that have to do with killing people?
24:41 We can do nothing.
24:43 The more it continues to get bad,
24:46 the more the damage is going to continue.
24:48 We all have to come out. I beg.
24:50 We all have to come out. Everybody will come out and participate.
24:53 If we don't participate, these people will keep on taking advantage of all these things.
24:57 They'll keep on taking advantage of the fact that we don't come out to participate.
25:00 The only thing they have now is to buy votes with money.
25:03 What we are doing now is to go out and educate these people.
25:06 We are not going to tell them who to vote for,
25:09 or force them to vote for anybody they don't want.
25:11 But what we are doing is to tell them to come out and vote.
25:14 Because your votes count.
25:16 And do not sell your votes.
25:18 Some people just believe that when they come and give them that small amount...
25:21 They will not sell. Who told you they will not sell?
25:23 We are there to open their eyes.
25:26 Okay, you. You.
25:28 You. Will you sell?
25:30 I don't vote to sell. Talk less of sell.
25:32 We are not going to insult anybody or going to fight against anybody.
25:35 We are just going... This is... We are intelligent.
25:38 We are doing it brilliantly. Carefully.
25:41 That's why I'm letting you know.
25:43 We are not going to fight anybody or insult anybody or do anything.
25:46 Wahala. Wahala. Wahala know we'll come.
25:49 Wahala know we'll come.
25:51 And if the people do anything, we have legal backing.
25:54 Are you the one that will go? Are you the one?
25:57 It's all of us together. All of us together that will come out and make that change.
26:01 All of us together.
26:02 You'll be Jesus Christ. Go and die for Nigeria.
26:04 I know they'll die for Nigeria.
26:05 But since I know they'll come out for Nigeria, I will do what I have to do.
26:08 No more.
26:09 When they know that we've all woken up and we are aware, they will do better.
26:15 They will do better. We are just saying, vote for the right people.
26:18 Not just because it's from your tribe.
26:21 I cannot just sit down and wait. I know that there are things I can do.
26:33 My mother, what I do not like, the constant worries or fear.
26:39 I wouldn't dismiss her fears.
26:42 I care for myself.
26:44 And trust me, I wouldn't want to die for nothing.
26:46 I make sure I don't go to extreme or go too far.
26:53 I want him to achieve his dream.
27:00 I want his dream to come to reality.
27:03 That's what I want him.
27:06 What I like about my mother mostly is the fact that she's kind-hearted and understanding.
27:16 She believes in me.
27:18 When I remember that love is there, I love him. Nothing will separate us.
27:28 I'd like the conflict with my parents to be resolved more with my mum than with my dad.
27:33 I want her to open her eyes and see that we're fighting for our rights.
27:39 The truth is that you want your child to fly.
27:47 I want her to be happy and free.
27:53 To be able to do what she wants.
27:57 I believe love and affection can solve anything.
28:01 And is the solution.
28:04 All my generation is doing is simply demanding its rights.
28:14 We are doing this because we love our society.
28:18 We are doing this because we love ourselves.
28:22 Because we love you all.
28:24 Because we love you all.
28:26 (upbeat music)
28:28 - No, no, no, no, no, no.