Rick and Morty S07 - Taking Back Virginia -
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TVTranscript
00:00 Rick, I agree that my accepting this mission was inappropriate.
00:03 When I was invited, I didn't know-
00:04 That he was hitting on you?
00:06 I was aware of potential romantic motivations, and I was open to them.
00:10 Bam!
00:11 But I did not know you and I would be crossing paths.
00:13 You mean you didn't care, because on one hand you got professional ethics,
00:16 and on the other hand you got world-famous schlong.
00:19 Now I get to beat you.
00:20 Bring it.
00:20 Alien vessel approaching Earth! It's hailing us!
00:23 Put it through.
00:24 I don't work for you.
00:25 You couldn't. You suck. I'll do it.
00:27 Mr. President.
00:28 Later you bring that ship to America's planet, I'm launching 4,000 warheads.
00:32 3,000 of which will turn out to work.
00:34 Then I'll call China, and you're really fucked.
00:37 Let's listen to Unity.
00:39 Are you still here?
00:39 Are you?
00:40 If I wanted Earth, I would have taken it.
00:42 Oh, bullshit!
00:43 You cut 8 million pieces of me off. It hurt.
00:46 Boo-hoo!
00:46 I've made it clear we can't be friends, Rick.
00:49 But I need to reconnect those people so I can properly release them.
00:52 They're hosting a mindless collective.
00:54 If it connects to another mind, it could become its own colony.
00:57 Oh, wow. You made a PowerPoint?
00:59 I needed you to understand how serious this is.
01:01 I can handle it.
01:02 We got the spray, bitch.
01:03 Don't talk to them like that.
01:05 Rick, do you not trust Unity?
01:07 Shut up.
01:07 Apologize.
01:08 Eat me.
01:09 Do you not trust me, Rick?
01:10 Who would?
01:11 Let Rick answer.
01:12 Baby, I know you wouldn't have helped, but--
01:14 Andre, I think we need to move slower.
01:16 Slower? I haven't even touched you and you're already backseat war rooming.
01:19 Andre?
01:20 Helen?
01:20 Rick!
01:21 I don't trust you. You ghosted me to focus on your work.
01:24 Your work is absorbing the universe, but it's my universe.
01:27 Please go.
01:28 We'll spray the Virginians before they touch anyone.
01:30 I'm sorry you lost a finger, but that's the price of surprise butt play.
01:34 Goodbye.
01:35 Goodbye.
01:35 Alien vessel is departing.
01:38 Good job, people.
01:39 I'll run the aerosol cannon from the chopper.
01:41 We need the optics.
01:42 Send out a press release.
01:43 President sprays Virginia with the opposite of bullets.
01:46 Write it better than that.
01:47 You riding shotgun or you staying butt hurt?
01:50 Suck my dick and lose my number.
01:51 You too.
01:52 If you invite me to the wedding, I will shit in the punch.
01:55 He'll be back.
01:58 What would you like for dinner?
02:00 I'm not interested in taking this further.
02:02 What? Why?
02:03 You.
02:03 [BLANK_AUDIO]