Us and Them - When Generations Clash - Love
Getting married, starting a family, children – topics that often trigger heated discussions. While parents often vouch for traditional values and security, young people have their own ideas. Young people like Yoyo in Taiwan and Esraa in Egypt.
Transcript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03 I like my body.
00:13 I fought an endless war with my hips.
00:16 But today, I look in the mirror, and I think I'm really pretty.
00:18 Our bodies are an act of courage.
00:23 Her appearance really bothers me.
00:29 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:31 Lose a little weight.
00:33 There were a lot of comments that hurt me.
00:35 In Brazil, the concept of beauty is a fit, defined woman
00:40 with a tiny waist and a huge butt, right?
00:43 You already had surgery.
00:47 You're so pretty.
00:48 But I want to look a little better.
00:50 I would never think of doing that kind of surgery.
00:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:58 [NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
01:01 I want to get a nose job.
01:04 I want to get nose surgery, work on my music,
01:10 and have a life full of love.
01:11 Men need to be rough.
01:14 They need calluses on their hands.
01:16 I'm trying to reach my goals.
01:18 I'm fighting for my dreams.
01:19 You want to spend 25 million tomans on a nose job?
01:22 Then what?
01:23 The market will think you're beautiful?
01:26 We all want to look good, right?
01:29 But sometimes our families have their own ideas
01:32 of what's beautiful, as if it's up to them.
01:34 Young and old, our realities and dreams can be so different.
01:41 Seriously, it seems like there's a huge gap
01:44 between the generations.
01:46 Sometimes we just don't get each other.
01:50 The question is, can we fix it?
01:53 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:56 Everything OK?
02:16 It's all good.
02:18 Beauty hurts.
02:20 Beauty hurts.
02:22 Botox.
02:23 Botox, once you start, you'll always want to do more.
02:26 Without Botox, you look like an angry woman.
02:37 You all right?
02:38 All good.
02:40 For my mother, beauty is being thin.
02:43 That's basically it.
02:51 Like Barbie, you know?
02:53 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:56 I'm a big fan of plastic surgery.
03:03 I got a tummy tuck and had excess skin
03:09 removed from my breasts.
03:11 I've heard my mother say a lot, oh,
03:17 if your breasts are like mine, they're going to sag.
03:20 They're going to droop.
03:22 They're going to droop and get saggier.
03:25 And I joke with her that she should get implants too.
03:27 I, Camila, think I would never choose to have surgery.
03:33 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:37 One of the people who lifts me up the most
03:48 is Fernanda, my wife.
03:51 She always tells me how beautiful I am.
03:53 As a teenager, I heard a lot that I needed to lose weight,
04:02 that I had to lose weight.
04:05 I felt like a disappointment and that my parents
04:07 would never be proud of me.
04:08 When I started posting pictures,
04:16 it took a while to post one that showed my belly.
04:18 It was very hard to find that courage.
04:20 I worked at a beauty clinic for seven years.
04:28 We did fat freezing, cellulite treatment, laser hair removal.
04:32 Her job was telling people what they
04:36 should do to be more beautiful.
04:39 Sometimes she even pointed out things that
04:42 didn't even bother them before.
04:44 I used to take Camila to the clinic to have procedures done.
04:47 Sometimes it was of her own will,
04:49 or sometimes she would go to please me.
04:51 Who knows?
04:52 I worked in the clinic, so I needed a model.
04:54 That's when we started clashing.
05:02 Whoa.
05:03 Camila's mom has clear expectations
05:05 about her daughter's looks.
05:07 And no wonder.
05:09 In one of her videos, she says that she
05:11 "never thought I'd be able to do this."
05:13 And no wonder.
05:15 In Brazil, beauty means status and opportunity.
05:20 Brazil's number two in the world in the number
05:22 of cosmetic surgeries.
05:24 USA is number one, despite Brazil having fewer people
05:28 with less money.
05:30 According to the surgeon who invented
05:32 the world's most dangerous plastic surgery,
05:34 the Brazilian butt lift, it's a human right to be beautiful.
05:39 Camila's mom says that her daughter's looks
05:42 are being covered by Brazil's public health system.
05:45 So society here has clear expectations about appearances.
05:49 That's some intense pressure Camila's up against.
05:52 My favorite granddaughter.
06:08 Oh, no!
06:09 Thank you, Mr. President.
06:17 My family was always very traditional,
06:18 and I was always different.
06:23 You used to be more, and now you're less.
06:26 Less fat?
06:28 Yeah.
06:28 But it would be good if she lost weight, wouldn't it?
06:33 Just a little.
06:35 Lose a little weight, be more defined.
06:36 I was always fat, and that was an issue.
06:42 Then I came out as lesbian, and that was another issue.
06:46 Appearance is important, too.
06:48 Feeling good, wearing nice clothes.
06:51 Looks don't mean anything?
06:52 So you think I'm ugly?
06:54 No, I think you're pretty.
06:57 It's exhausting fighting these comments.
07:01 You just need to exercise.
07:04 I do.
07:05 Sometimes we use this discourse about health
07:07 to cover up aesthetic pressure.
07:09 What does society say is beautiful?
07:11 Who's on the cover of a magazine?
07:14 A woman who's thin and blonde.
07:17 Stop.
07:18 Stop right there.
07:19 My godfather had gastric bypass surgery a while ago.
07:26 He was always very fat.
07:27 They cut out a piece of your stomach,
07:29 so you can't eat as much.
07:31 It's a mega-invasive surgery.
07:35 If you ever think about getting your stomach stapled,
07:38 go for it, because it's wonderful.
07:42 It's great.
07:43 It's highly recommended, but not by any doctor.
07:50 It's recommended by my family.
07:52 [SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]
07:53 I would never think of doing that kind of surgery.
08:04 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:06 [SINGING IN PORTUGUESE]
08:16 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:18 I'm a musician.
08:28 I write lyrics, I compose music, and I sing.
08:31 I think appearance is really important to a singer's growth
08:39 and success.
08:40 [SINGING IN PORTUGUESE]
08:42 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:44 Bring it up to your shoulder.
09:02 There you go.
09:03 Take care of your hands.
09:06 You're working for your audience.
09:08 Of course I like beauty.
09:10 And I know my audience likes it, too.
09:12 I have no problem with women caring about their beauty.
09:19 Their job in life is clear.
09:21 They do it for their husbands.
09:22 But I don't understand it for men and boys.
09:27 Nice work.
09:32 How are you?
09:33 You look great, Reza.
09:38 Your body looks great.
09:40 One question.
09:41 Did you get a nose job?
09:42 Yeah.
09:45 Really?
09:48 I was watching you thinking, this guy looks perfect.
09:50 You look great, too.
09:54 Your nose is so beautiful.
09:55 I was sure you had a nose job.
09:57 I love how I look.
10:02 I like my eyebrows.
10:04 I love my laugh.
10:06 But everyone has some flaws.
10:09 [MUSIC PLAYING]
10:11 Manliness comes from strength and toughness.
10:31 Nose jobs and eyebrow transplants
10:33 don't make you tough.
10:35 Nose jobs and cheek surgery?
10:37 Maybe tomorrow they'll get breasts.
10:39 At least 60% or 70% of all Iranian girls
10:50 have had a nose job.
10:52 It's no different for boys, either.
10:55 So Reza's uncle doesn't want him getting a nose job.
10:59 But in Iran, aka the nose job capital of the world,
11:03 over 100,000 people do it every year.
11:07 People even wear nose bandages as a status symbol.
11:12 Iranians became obsessed with their noses
11:14 because for about half of them, the female half,
11:17 that's basically all they're allowed to show.
11:20 Iranians are still getting nose jobs,
11:23 including more and more men like Reza.
11:26 [SINGING IN PERSIAN]
11:28 Reza.
11:52 What?
11:53 Come on, honey. Let's eat.
11:54 I'm coming.
11:55 I'm hungry.
11:56 Wait a sec, Mom. I'm practicing.
12:00 I'll keep calling you. Come give me a hand.
12:03 Mom.
12:04 Come grab the yogurt while I serve the food.
12:08 Mom?
12:12 I want to get a nose job.
12:15 What's with that face?
12:18 Where did this come from?
12:19 Mom, you know that noses are important.
12:23 It's great if someone doesn't have a problem
12:26 with their nose or cheeks or their face.
12:29 Especially women now are changing their whole faces.
12:32 They put in cheeks, I don't know, lips, eyes, and so on.
12:36 I'm against it.
12:37 I haven't done it and I won't do it.
12:40 I don't like it.
12:42 People around me, like my friends,
12:47 sometimes make fun of me and my nose.
12:50 They joke around, but it affects me.
12:53 I don't exactly know what happened to my nose,
13:01 but I think when I was seven or eight,
13:04 I broke it while I was playing or wrestling with my brother.
13:08 One problem with my nose is that I have trouble breathing.
13:17 And of course I know it will look much better.
13:21 Look, I had to wear sunglasses to hide my nose.
13:44 As his mother, I think his face is fine.
13:47 I've been living with my mom since I was ten,
13:53 so I didn't have a close relationship with my dad.
13:56 My uncle's had my back ever since I was a kid.
14:01 I used to talk to him whenever I had a problem.
14:04 I don't think he'll ever become a famous singer by doing surgery.
14:13 He won't achieve anything in this industry.
14:16 I've always been passionate about fashion.
14:28 I started working for Tintoria about two years ago
14:33 as an influencer for the brand.
14:40 She loves shopping, getting dressed up, putting on makeup.
14:44 She's loved makeup since she was a little girl.
14:47 We're a lot alike, right?
14:49 Jessica from Tintoria was the first person who believed in me like this.
15:02 Now I take care of all the Instagram promotion with her.
15:09 This is a country where more than 57% of people don't weigh the standard weight.
15:14 It's the standard that's wrong.
15:17 When Jessica was a pioneer, she had this vision,
15:22 a thin woman who was like,
15:24 "I want everybody to have the same access to fashion that I have."
15:27 You don't just have to overcome your own thoughts minute by minute
15:32 when you wear a bikini to the beach.
15:34 You also have to overcome the looks you get from people.
15:38 One time I got a message.
15:42 She said, "Wow, I bought my first bikini because I saw you wearing one."
15:46 And I was like, "Look at this, if I can just change the life of one person."
15:52 One person.
15:54 Who couldn't go to the beach before.
15:56 What is a beach body anyway?
16:03 Camila is part of a body positivity movement that says,
16:07 "Let's accept ourselves, regardless of how we look."
16:11 But putting yourself out there like Camila does
16:16 can also mean getting some nasty looks in comments.
16:20 I'm like, "Don't you think this photo shows a little too much?"
16:25 When it's her in a bikini showing a lot of her chest.
16:31 As a mother, you want to protect your child from everything, right?
16:37 And when you see her showing so much,
16:40 you're afraid of the comments and of her getting hurt.
16:43 Of people's prejudice, you know?
16:46 It still hurts when someone calls her fat.
16:57 It hurts both her and me.
17:00 It hurts both you and me.
17:02 A nose job? Do men even get nose jobs?
17:24 Shut up.
17:25 You shut up.
17:26 It's my nose. It's very important for my career,
17:29 and I'm very proud of earning money.
17:31 So you're going to put all the money you earned in a doctor's pocket?
17:35 It'll make your voice worse.
17:37 Your voice will be like Netta Yassi's.
17:39 In Iran, this surgery costs $1,500.
17:48 That's my cost of living for at least a year.
17:51 How will you earn all that money?
17:53 He wants to busk for it.
17:58 The first time I saw him playing music on the street,
18:01 I really cried.
18:02 I cried a lot, but I didn't let him see me.
18:05 I'm not upset that my child's busking.
18:15 I'm sad because I don't have enough money to help him.
18:19 [♪♪♪]
18:21 Come on up.
18:32 My concern is, today it's about his nose.
18:40 Tomorrow, it'll be an eyebrow transplant.
18:43 He's already got this thing in his ear.
18:45 God forbid he turns into a junkie someday.
18:48 How many of your friends have done it?
18:53 Lots of them.
18:56 Your problem is that I'm a boy.
18:58 So if society hasn't seen it, that's my problem?
19:03 I'm saying that as a boy,
19:05 your path and your needs are different than a girl's.
19:08 When I talked to my uncle, he looked like he wanted to beat me.
19:15 Imagine, my nephew's going to do this now.
19:18 It goes against my honor.
19:20 I think it's creepy.
19:22 [♪♪♪]
19:27 She can visit for one week, max.
19:32 Otherwise, we'll start fighting.
19:34 Let's make a nice breakfast.
19:40 And there's nothing in the fridge.
19:44 Do you eat protein before your workout?
19:47 Are you cutting back on that salt you love so much?
19:50 Egg without salt? No way.
19:53 It tastes plain.
19:54 Let's see.
19:55 Really needs salt.
20:00 Really?
20:03 Let me see.
20:04 Tastes great to me.
20:08 Mom, I think it's great.
20:11 [♪♪♪]
20:13 Hello, I have an appointment with Dr. Gustavo.
20:18 I'm Cláudia.
20:19 After I was pregnant with Camila,
20:25 I had a lot of excess skin in my breasts and my abdomen,
20:28 and it really bothered me.
20:30 So you've already done your breasts and your abdomen.
20:35 Exactly.
20:36 But not your back yet?
20:38 This fat we'll remove from your back,
20:41 and then we'll move it to this part of your buttocks here.
20:44 That'll give you a nice lift and fill in the areas where you need it.
20:47 A little fat in here, not overdoing it,
20:50 and you'll get a nice curve through here.
20:52 Honestly, if I could give her one piece of advice,
20:56 and she would listen, I would say, "Don't do it."
21:00 I don't want to hear it.
21:02 So you're doing it?
21:03 Of course, it's wonderful.
21:05 I'll get the results.
21:06 Of course, it's wonderful.
21:08 I'll get the definition I always wanted.
21:10 It's not plastic surgery, it's liposuction.
21:13 You asked about the risk?
21:17 The surgery's under general anesthesia.
21:20 I'll be intubated.
21:21 It's possible to have respiratory failure.
21:24 And make your children orphans?
21:26 For heaven's sake.
21:28 If I do it all carefully, I'll be okay, child.
21:31 I want you to support me.
21:35 I'll support you if it makes you happy.
21:38 It's not like I'm going to judge someone for having surgery.
21:42 It's not about that.
21:44 What I preach is much more about respecting what others want to do with their bodies.
21:49 Do you really think a nose job would make you successful?
22:01 Absolutely.
22:03 So you don't need to do anything else for your career?
22:06 You're looking to change your appearance first?
22:09 By the way, the little button noses Risa likes weren't always the thing in Iran.
22:15 For thousands of years, this is what was known as the Persian nose.
22:20 Have you taken any other useful steps so I could say,
22:26 "He's done all the work and now the only thing left is this nose job"?
22:31 It's all connected. You can't just sing or make music.
22:34 My audience wants it now.
22:36 They're asking for it. What should I do?
22:40 Here are some of Iran's top male singers.
22:47 Can you spot the nose job here?
22:51 Someone like Mohsen Yeganeh got surgery at the peak of his fame.
22:57 At least he proved that he'd already accomplished something.
23:00 You haven't done anything yet.
23:02 Uncle.
23:03 Your mother has so many problems. You could help her.
23:08 You want to spend 25 million tomans on a nose job? Then what?
23:12 The market will think you're beautiful?
23:14 Uncle.
23:15 Have I even heard a song of yours? Has your mother?
23:19 You're not an artist. You're just trying to look like an artist.
23:23 If you were a real artist, I should have heard a hit song by now, right?
23:27 Yeganeh.
23:28 That's it. Do whatever you want.
23:32 Thanks.
23:33 I'll summarize everything my mother ever tried to make me lose weight.
23:44 Weight watchers, shakes, weight loss medicine, gym from a very early age, super restrictive diets.
23:55 I lost a lot of weight. I got to the skinniest I've ever been in my life.
24:00 I got to that weight. Like, wasn't that supposed to make me happy?
24:05 But I wasn't happy. So now what? What do I do now?
24:11 And at some point, that pushed us apart.
24:17 For a long time, I was the person who said that she was fat.
24:23 Nowadays, I don't say anything anymore.
24:26 I ended up pushing her away from me when I had those attitudes.
24:33 And I don't want to push her away from me.
24:38 I love her the way she is, and that's it.
24:42 I realized that this pressure to lose weight really hurts her.
24:48 So, no matter how much I want to pressure her, no matter how much I look at her and think, "Well, she could lose weight,"
24:54 I don't speak up because I don't want to push her away.
24:58 It really makes me feel bad seeing my uncle upset with me.
25:13 I'm just trying to get closer to my dreams and move forward on the path that I want.
25:19 Will the nose surgery affect my singing voice? Will it change it?
25:25 Depends on how much smaller the new nose is.
25:30 If you want a normal, natural, masculine nose, no.
25:34 God created manly noses for men.
25:40 I think if he does it against everyone's opinion, I'll be very disappointed.
25:45 Hi, dear mother. How are you?
25:56 I finally got the surgery, you see?
25:59 I'll see you this weekend when you return home.
26:02 Love you. Bye for now.
26:08 I hope the surgery went well and that you look even more beautiful.
26:12 And if I tried to change your mind or disagreed with you, it was only because I want the best for you.
26:18 Love you. See you soon. Take care. Bye.
26:23 Fernanda said something to me that's really stuck in my mind.
26:33 She said, "How many 27-year-old women have the power to influence people like you do, who've gotten there in such a short time?"
26:41 I've been thinking about that sentence every day since she said it.
26:47 I do admire her for saying, "I'm fine. I'm going to put on a bikini and go out. Not worrying at all."
26:57 It's cool. It's beautiful.
27:02 If she's happy like this, being chubby, she wants to lose weight, whatever she does, I'm okay with it.
27:09 I can only be grateful for the daughter I have.
27:13 I believe my mother thinks I'm beautiful. I hope she does.
27:20 But I think she wouldn't be the way I am.
27:23 I don't know if she would say that another woman, who looks the way I do,
27:30 if she'd think that woman was beautiful.
27:32 I was always vain.
27:52 Those who seek perfection are never happy, because we'll never be perfect.
27:59 Kill me, make me beautiful. It's a saying.
28:01 That's a sanguine.
28:03 (footsteps)