• 9 months ago
Ryan Gosling, Dame Helen Mirren, America Ferrera and Kate McKinnon have reprised their roles from Barbie to help Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel find his way to the ceremony.The talk show host, who will return to hosting duties for the fourth time next month, pays a visit to McKinnon’s Weird Barbie in a promotional video for the ceremony.

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Transcript
00:00 Since the dawn of time, men have been getting lost.
00:03 I am so lost.
00:05 This is the story of one such dum-dum.
00:08 He came upon a strange-looking house and rang the doorbell.
00:11 [DOORBELL RINGS]
00:12 [DOOR CREAKS]
00:15 Hello?
00:16 [GRUNTS]
00:18 Hey, man, what's up?
00:20 Weird Barbie.
00:21 Nice to meet.
00:21 You want to come on in?
00:23 Yes.
00:24 All right.
00:24 [DOOR CREAKS]
00:26 [DOOR CREAKS]
00:28 [DOOR CREAKS]
00:30 Welcome.
00:31 You must be midlife crisis, Ken.
00:32 No.
00:33 Lost everything in the divorce, Ken?
00:35 No.
00:35 Probably should have gone a size up in that tuxedo, Ken.
00:38 No, I'm Jimmy.
00:39 I'm Kimmel.
00:42 I'm hosting the Oscars, and I'm lost,
00:44 and I really need to get back to Hollywood.
00:46 Did you find GPS threatening to your masculinity?
00:49 I have just the thing for you, Kimmel.
00:51 Let's go.
00:53 And behold!
00:54 [DOORBELL RINGS]
00:56 This is how you get to Oscars land.
00:58 Ha, ha, ha!
01:00 OK, it's a pretty straight shot through the zone of interest,
01:03 past past lives, over anatomy of a fall falls,
01:05 phew, and all the way to Carnegie Hall.
01:08 OK, but how do you get to Carnegie Hall?
01:10 You practice, Jimmy.
01:11 Then it's up the hill to Barton Academy, take a Jeffrey Wright,
01:21 and go all the way to Los Alamos, New Mexico.
01:25 I can't remember all this.
01:27 I know, you're limited.
01:28 But don't worry, we're taking the weird wagon.
01:31 And so they pointed the weird wagon
01:35 towards a colorful montage.
01:38 To the Oscars, man.
01:41 I liked your car.
01:43 Hey, look, it's even weirder, Barbie.
01:46 Hey, Bella.
01:48 Hi.
01:48 She's my cousin.
01:49 Really?
01:50 Yeah.
01:51 [GROANING]
01:55 And welcome to Osage County.
01:57 Oh, look, they grow Italian people here.
01:59 Oh, [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
02:04 Is that rain?
02:06 No, it's Kenner Burnstein.
02:09 Oh!
02:10 Oh, my god, what happened to that guy's face?
02:18 Born that way.
02:19 Oh, that poor, incredibly hideous,
02:22 disgusting, ugly man.
02:25 Put these on to protect your eyes.
02:27 Thank you.
02:28 Oh, they're not see-through.
02:29 I can't see!
02:30 Here we are, the Oscars.
02:40 Wow.
02:41 I didn't think we were going to make it.
02:43 Thank you.
02:44 Hey, no problem.
02:44 So much.
02:46 Whoa.
02:48 Look at this.
02:49 You know, honestly, now that I'm here, I'm nervous.
02:52 This is like-- it's--
02:54 I don't know if I can do this.
02:55 It's such a tricky thing.
02:58 He's right.
02:58 It is a tricky thing.
03:01 It's literally impossible to host the Oscars.
03:04 You have to be extraordinary, but somehow you're
03:06 always doing it wrong.
03:07 Like, you have to make fun of people,
03:09 but you can't make too much fun of people.
03:11 And you have to give everybody enough time,
03:12 but you can't go long.
03:14 And you are the center of attention,
03:15 but almost nobody cares you're there.
03:18 You can never show off, never fall down, never fail,
03:21 never show fear.
03:22 Nobody says thank you, and everyone has something
03:24 critical to say online.
03:26 If it goes well, no one says anything.
03:28 But if it doesn't, it's your fault.
03:30 Yes, that's-- I think what you're saying
03:33 is hosting the Oscars is even harder than being a woman.
03:36 No.
03:41 No, that's-- that's not at all what I was saying.
03:45 Wrong.
03:47 I got in and out.
03:49 It's kind of this cool social media trend where
03:52 you get it before the Oscars.
03:54 Oh, hey, Ryan.
03:55 Actually, I think the trend is to have
03:57 in and out after the Oscars.
03:59 Actually, after you've won the Oscar.
04:01 Yeah.
04:02 Well, that's not going to happen.
04:04 Good thing Greta's got director in the bag.
04:06 Oh, Ryan?
04:08 Yeah.
04:09 Mm-hmm?
04:10 [WHISPERING]
04:12 What?
04:13 [SIGHS]
04:17 [SCREAMING]
04:20 Girls grow into women, but not all boys grow into men.
04:33 Some remain hopelessly stuck in a loop
04:36 of infantile foolishness.
04:40 One of them will host the Oscars, live, Sunday, March 10,
04:45 at a new time, 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific, on ABC.
04:49 [SCREAMING]
04:52 [MUSIC PLAYING]
04:56 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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