Ibinahagi ni Drei ang kuwento ng kanilang pag-ibig ng kanyang kasintahang si Randel at kung paano nila hinarap nang magkasama ang mga pagsubok sa kanilang buhay.
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00:00 Cray, describe your childhood.
00:04 When you were a child.
00:05 Maybe we are the typical definition of a happy family.
00:09 Not until they separated, Mama.
00:11 I was about four years old when Mama caught Papa with another woman.
00:17 Then they were forced to separate.
00:20 Then the three of us siblings went to Mama.
00:23 But what was your parents' job when you were growing up?
00:28 Mama had a sarisare store from then until now.
00:34 Papa, I don't have any news.
00:39 No, no. When you were young, when you were with your father, what was your job?
00:44 He was in construction.
00:46 Ah, in construction.
00:47 It was different. Sometimes Papa became a sales agent for cars.
00:52 Oh, but is it true that you grew up in the squatters area?
00:57 Yes.
00:58 In the depressed area?
00:59 Yes. Our house was literally in the squatters area.
01:03 He was just stuck in the sea.
01:06 So, I really grew up there.
01:08 Where was that place?
01:09 In Slum earliest, in Baco, Orcavite.
01:13 In Baco, Orcavite.
01:14 So, you mean you were a broken family?
01:19 Yes.
01:20 Now, you are with your mother?
01:23 Yes, Mama took care of the three of us.
01:26 Ah, but your father continued to support you?
01:31 That was the painful part because Papa left us, but not even once, he supported the three of us, especially in our studies.
01:40 Our relationship was cut off after our separation.
01:44 How did you live?
01:46 Literally, that's where all our traumas in life started because Mama literally lost her job.
01:53 When they separated, we lived in a small store.
02:00 We literally had to cover the store because the door was small.
02:04 Mama started selling in the restaurant.
02:07 The day came when we really didn't have anything to eat because Mama's income was not enough.
02:17 We had to endure that for a few years and she met my stepfather.
02:25 Ah, so she moved on and she found another man?
02:31 Yes.
02:32 So, they lived in together?
02:35 Yes, they lived in together.
02:37 But it seems like you weren't happy with your stepfather, right?
02:45 Yes.
02:46 He was hurting you.
02:47 My stepfather's physical abuse was very minimal.
02:51 The only thing I remember is when I was in elementary school, when Mama and my stepfather were fighting, I took Mama's hand.
02:58 I hit my stepfather with our new brand of pitchers and he broke his head.
03:04 That's the only thing I will never forget.
03:06 My second physical abuse was when I was in grade 10.
03:09 At that time, my sister was still small compared to Mama.
03:13 At that time, my stepfather and I were the only ones left.
03:17 My sister was also pregnant.
03:19 My stepfather ordered me to look for her.
03:22 At that time, I couldn't stand up because I had a cramp.
03:26 He wrapped me in a blanket and he pushed me.
03:29 He said, "I won't follow you. I'll pour water on you."
03:32 I thought it was a joke.
03:33 When he came back, he brought a bucket of water and poured it on me.
03:38 That was the peak of my physical abuse.
03:42 My stepfather was very angry with me.
03:45 I stayed with him for two years to study for my senior high.
03:50 I suffered more from verbal and emotional abuse from my stepfather.
03:55 I was just a child.
03:57 There came a time when we couldn't eat when no one was giving us food.
04:03 My stepfather would buy food for himself and he would eat in front of us.
04:10 He would say, "You won't make it."
04:16 That was not my motivation to work.
04:20 That was the biggest trauma I had as a child.
04:24 Did you have a sibling?
04:29 Yes, we were three siblings.
04:33 I was the eldest of my five siblings.
04:37 They would just follow me.
04:40 We were added every year.
04:43 How many siblings did you have?
04:45 I had five siblings from my stepfather and my mother.
04:48 And you were three?
04:49 Yes, three.
04:50 You were eight?
04:51 Yes, we were eight.
04:52 That's a lot.
04:53 Despite the hardship, how did you continue your studies?
04:59 I was motivated to study hard to succeed and to be like my stepfather.
05:07 I studied hard and I graduated from high school as a valedictorian.
05:14 That's what secured me a scholarship for my senior high.
05:18 That's why I wasn't as heavy as my aunt when she taught me.
05:22 I graduated from senior high with high honors.
05:27 I also obtained a full scholarship in college.
05:30 My scholarship also helped me to pay for my personal expenses in school and for my daily life.
05:42 I also taught journalism on campus.
05:45 Those were the things that helped me to finish my studies.
05:49 By the grace of God, I not only finished my college,
05:53 but I also graduated as a summa cum laude in the Bachelor of Arts in Journalism.
05:59 You're really good. I believe in you.
06:03 How did you meet Randell?
06:06 We were both campus journalists.
06:08 I always post stories on Facebook about campus journalism.
06:15 He met me in 2018.
06:18 I don't know if we were Facebook friends. We first met in 2019.
06:25 He randomly messaged me.
06:28 We met and got to know each other in 2020 on Facebook.
06:35 What was Randell's experience when you met?
06:39 I met Randell in his darkest years of his life.
06:45 He suffered from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks in 2018.
06:50 That was also the reason why he lost his will to live and stopped studying.
06:56 I felt that he needed someone to help him.
07:01 As we talked for a long time, I felt that I was the one that God sent to help him heal his mental health.
07:11 You mentioned that he suffered from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.
07:18 Was he diagnosed?
07:22 Or are you just saying that by virtue of looking at him and how he behaved?
07:27 When we got better during the pandemic in 2020,
07:31 I said that before we pursue a relationship,
07:34 I wanted to focus on his mental and emotional healing.
07:38 I approached a psychometrician who offers free online psychotherapy and counseling.
07:46 I saw someone willing to help.
07:49 Randell had several sessions of therapy.
07:53 At the end of the therapy, he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.
08:01 Where did he get his PTSD from?
08:04 He had an issue in school and it was a bit confidential.
08:10 He was reported by a teacher who did not teach.
08:13 When he woke up, he found out that he was the one who reported him.
08:18 That's when his symptoms of PTSD were triggered.
08:23 After a few sessions, he recovered.
08:28 A psychometrician was assigned to him to address the issue.
08:32 He was very thankful to me because he recovered mentally and emotionally.
08:39 He was able to live.
08:41 But if I look at him from a deeper perspective,
08:46 I was the one who helped him the most because while I was helping him dream,
08:51 I was the one who experienced the deepest and most chaotic of dreams.
08:55 The moments where he said, "I taught him to be brave,"
09:00 but deep inside, I was the one who became brave.
09:03 I helped him to know himself, but the truth is I was able to know my true self.
09:09 Those were the moments when I was able to tell him that I wanted to be with him in his life,
09:15 not only in his fight against depression, but in all his life-long struggles.
09:21 That was also the moment when I said, "I love him very much."
09:25 Let's just go back a little.
09:28 What were the manifestations of his problems in his thinking that you saw?
09:35 In his story, he was literally shaking and sweating,
09:41 not knowing the exact reason.
09:44 He was consistently experiencing a feeling of being lost in reality,
09:50 as if he was just wandering around.
09:52 Then, there came a time when he was walking on the street, feeling unconscious,
09:58 and he was just waiting for the car to pull him out.
10:01 Those were the manifestations.
10:03 What about you? What did you see in him?
10:06 You yourself, what did you see in your friend? Was there a problem?
10:11 Yes, at that time, even though we were only talking online,
10:14 I could feel his hopelessness.
10:17 Even though he could understand something, he felt that his life would be hopeless,
10:24 especially in the future.
10:26 I felt that his anxiety was really that bad,
10:29 because for us, who are just small things, it's a big deal for them.
10:35 Did he ever confide to you that he wanted to commit suicide?
10:41 Yes, he said that he would just wait for him to die.
10:46 He was trying to be proud, but he was wondering why he couldn't just die.
10:52 I felt that when we first talked, he was telling me that he was feeling that
11:01 he was slowly gaining reason to live because of me.
11:05 How did you know that he also had a stage 4 colon cancer?
11:11 That was something we didn't expect because there were no early signs,
11:18 no physical symptoms.
11:20 As in, what happened was that from the time he was sick to the time he died,
11:25 it was all within one week.
11:27 He was hospitalized for the first time on February 20,
11:31 because his condition was not good.
11:34 After two days, we brought him to the hospital.
11:37 He underwent 11 laboratory tests, and he underwent a whole abdominal ultrasound.
11:43 All of them were negative, so we were wondering what the reason was.
11:46 We felt that it was acid reflux or just a cough.
11:51 The illness did not go away, so after two days, we brought him back to the hospital.
11:56 We did a blood test and urinalysis again, and it was negative again.
12:00 He was confined, but the doctor really couldn't do anything about it.
12:05 His family, from Zambales to Cavite,
12:09 his mother worked as a doctor in Zambales,
12:13 so the doctor told us to follow him so that we could see him.
12:16 From Zambales to Cavite, they took an ambulance.
12:20 I followed them to Baco, and I accompanied them to Zambales.
12:25 When we checked at the hospital in Zambales,
12:28 the doctor noticed that he had a tumor.
12:31 When we opened his stomach, everyone was shocked,
12:35 even the doctors, because it was the first time they encountered such a big tumor.
12:39 The tumor was in his colon.
12:41 He had two large portions of his colon cut off.
12:45 All of his internal organs were affected.
12:48 That's when it was immediately mentioned that it was stage 4 colon cancer.
12:53 At first, I didn't know that because I was not allowed to go to the hospital.
12:57 At first, they told me that it was appendicitis.
13:01 When they told me that outside, I was relieved because I knew that no one died from appendicitis.
13:08 When his brother left the hospital after the operation,
13:12 I noticed that his brother was bleeding.
13:14 I was immediately taken to the ambulance.
13:17 At that time, I didn't know what was happening.
13:19 His brother just gave me a styrofoam.
13:22 We went to the nearest Red Cross to get a bag of blood.
13:27 My brother told me to pray for Randall Mark Andre because his condition was not okay.
13:34 I didn't know what happened.
13:36 I just cried in the ambulance.
13:39 I was so sad.
13:41 When we returned, his brother was bleeding.
13:43 I was admitted to the hospital.
13:45 His aunt and nurse talked to me.
13:48 They said that it was stage 4 colon cancer.
13:53 Describe to us, Andre, your last few days with Randall.
13:58 In a matter of 6 days, he passed away.
14:02 How did you feel?
14:05 It was very difficult because everything happened so fast.
14:09 The first day, when his brother was in pain,
14:14 we decided to renovate our house.
14:18 We lived in a house together.
14:20 The first day, we extended our workplace for our online business.
14:27 Our happiness was intense because our dreams were slowly coming true.
14:34 On the other hand, the pain was so intense because it happened so fast.
14:40 The doctor told me that I felt like I was dreaming.
14:46 I felt like I was going to fall any time because I couldn't absorb the thought
14:51 that my partner was already in stage 4 colon cancer.
14:55 The operation was successful.
14:59 After the operation, I was admitted to his room.
15:03 At first, I thought it was 50-50 because I was able to reach him.
15:08 I was able to see his mother.
15:11 She told me that it was normal because it was after the operation.
15:15 She told me not to cry in front of Randall because it would weaken his heart.
15:19 She also told me that his disease was stage 4 colon cancer, not appendicitis.
15:24 When Randall woke up, he saw me next to him.
15:29 He didn't let go of my hand.
15:33 The operation was successful because he became responsive and active.
15:40 That time, I told him that he would get better.
15:45 He said, "Randall, you don't have to suffer anymore. Just get stronger."
15:49 By nightfall, I could see his nose was blue-ish violet.
15:55 His lips were yellow and his whole body was pale.
16:01 I was also nervous.
16:04 He complained that his back was aching.
16:07 Gradually, his body started to feel pain.
16:11 I told him again and again that it was just a fight.
16:14 We can overcome this.
16:16 Don't let go of my hand because we are holding on to you.
16:19 It was past midnight.
16:22 He was already anxious.
16:25 He said that he was feeling different.
16:28 He told me, "Dre, I might die."
16:33 That was the last time he said, "I love you."
16:38 But that time, I didn't accept the possibility that he would die.
16:42 His vital signs were decreasing.
16:46 His nerves were returning.
16:48 We were holding his mother's hand.
16:51 At 3 a.m., his vitals started to rise.
17:00 Then, at 4 a.m., on February 24,
17:04 the doctors and nurses started to revive him.
17:07 At that time, I kept encouraging him to fight and hold on.
17:12 When I saw the nurse talking to him,
17:15 the nurse said, "Go ahead. Keep talking to him because he's responding."
17:19 At that time, Randell was just trying to hold on because his half-body was gone.
17:24 He was just responding to the breathing.
17:28 We knew that he was trying to fight.
17:32 He opened his mouth a little and moved his eyes and eyebrows.
17:37 At 4 a.m., the revival was repeated.
17:41 Nothing happened.
17:42 I saw his mother lying down.
17:46 She was crying.
17:48 At that time, the nurse also talked to me.
17:51 "Son, let's get rid of Randell because he's having a hard time getting through the rest of his life."
17:58 When his mother said that, I didn't understand.
18:01 That's when I encouraged him to fight.
18:05 "Please, this time, fight now.
18:08 If you hear a voice, don't listen to it. Just me.
18:11 If you see a light, don't join it."
18:14 I repeated that.
18:16 When he was about to turn 5, that's when I realized that he was really gone.
18:23 He was going to be gone at any moment.
18:26 That's when I told him, "Randell, don't think about what life you left behind.
18:33 Because for us, your life here in the world is more than fulfilled.
18:37 Don't think about what your family will give you because I promise,
18:42 I will never leave them until I'm alive."
18:44 When I let go of those lines, I felt that he was calm.
18:50 He didn't force himself to breathe deeply.
18:53 He was just forced to speak because I knew that he still had something to say.
18:58 It was exactly 5 a.m. when he was gone.
19:03 Oh, that's a heavy story, Dre.
19:10 But we should take into account the lessons you told us.
19:17 What do you think are the lessons that can inspire our TV viewers?
19:25 Maybe from the many messages that I can get from my life story,
19:30 the heaviest one is the concept of how love can be broken.
19:36 I told Randell that when we were just starting out,
19:40 we were afraid of the relationship we had.
19:43 I told him that even if we are hurt many times in life,
19:46 even if we are broken by love,
19:48 we should continue to believe that love has a different form.
19:54 I told him that love itself is so magical.
19:57 Whenever I have friends who ask me,
20:01 "How did you overcome all the experiences you had with your family,
20:04 and now you lost the person you love the most?"
20:07 The answer I get is ironic because I am crying,
20:13 hurting, and crying for the same reason.
20:15 I am crying because I am able to continue and move on in life.
20:20 That is love.
20:22 I felt that after Randell's death,
20:24 all the positive traits he had, I felt that my soul absorbed them.
20:29 If there is a positive trait that Randell had,
20:36 it is that sometimes a person comes into my life,
20:40 and that is the reason why I became a better person.
20:43 I became more caring to others and to my family.
20:47 My last message is that I hope that the society will embrace
20:53 all kinds of love that we have in this world.
20:58 At the end of the day,
21:00 it is not about wealth or any other things in life
21:03 that is the basis for a perfect love.
21:07 I said that the soul should be looked at.
21:09 When it comes to the soul, there is no gender or status in life.
21:13 As long as two people genuinely love each other,
21:16 that is enough for us to accept them wholeheartedly.
21:19 But what about you? How will you use it?
21:30 You are still young, you are only 23 years old.
21:34 How will this benefit your life?
21:40 I think that even if I was hurt by the world a few times,
21:45 I will still choose to be good.
21:48 I said that my motivation was to wait for my stepfather.
21:52 Now that I have been allowed to live,
21:55 it is the opposite of what happened.
21:57 Randell and I also had a business.
21:59 That was the reason why my stepfather got a job.
22:04 We also gave Randell a motorbike pedicab.
22:08 Until now, it has become his livelihood.
22:11 We should not let the good things that we have
22:15 affect our lives.
22:19 The more we are being made to suffer by the world,
22:23 the more we should be able to see the good things from our hearts.
22:28 So, if I may follow your story,
22:31 did your stepfather fix you up?
22:35 As of now, it is not totally fixed.
22:38 The relationship is father and son.
22:41 But the bad things that happened to him are gone.
22:46 The painful words that came from him.
22:49 I am the one who can help him with his needs.
22:52 So, you have already forgiven the painful things
22:57 that your stepfather did to you?
23:00 I did not directly apologize to my stepfather and father.
23:03 Why did you forgive him?
23:05 But as of now, my heart is fine.
23:07 Because in the end, I am the only one who will suffer
23:11 if I will be the one to handle the pain.
23:13 That's right.
23:14 And his view of you now is also better.
23:17 Yes, I feel that he has a longing and belief
23:23 for what I went through, despite the hardships I went through.
23:25 And despite the fact that he always tells you that you will not achieve anything.
23:29 That's what's good.
23:32 That's what you are looking for.
23:34 Congratulations to you.
23:36 I hope that you will continue to walk the right path.
23:44 And walk the path that will bring good to your life.
23:50 Okay, Dre. Thank you very much.
23:53 God bless you. Thank you.
23:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]