Larry David causes a scene after he accidentally hits another country club member with a golf ball.
Stream the latest episode of HBO Original Curb Your Enthusiasm on Max
Stream the latest episode of HBO Original Curb Your Enthusiasm on Max
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TVTranscript
00:00 [upbeat music]
00:01 - I did Wirtle again today.
00:03 I'm a Wirtle wizard, man.
00:04 I did it in three tries.
00:05 That's three days in a row, man.
00:07 - Wow, you're really on a good streak.
00:09 - I'm on a huge streak, that's nothing.
00:11 - All right, let's see if I can continue my streak.
00:13 - I know, you've been unbelievable.
00:14 What is this all about?
00:15 How are you doing this?
00:16 - You know why?
00:17 I sat on a bench this morning and overheard a lesson.
00:20 So I've had thousands of hours of lessons,
00:22 two minutes on that bench.
00:24 This guy changed my life.
00:25 - What kind of tips?
00:26 - Vertical drop.
00:27 - Yeah.
00:27 - Horizontal tug.
00:28 - Horizontal tug?
00:29 Vertical drop, horizontal tug.
00:31 Now I've dropped before, but I've never tugged.
00:34 And now I'm tugging.
00:35 - Maybe I should tug.
00:36 - You gotta tug.
00:37 - Can you teach me how to tug?
00:37 - I'll teach you how to tug.
00:38 - This is fantastic.
00:39 - Can I tell you something?
00:40 - Sure.
00:41 - I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life.
00:43 - I don't even know who I'm looking at right now.
00:44 - How is something good happening to me?
00:46 - No one on the planet would believe that you're happy.
00:48 - How is this possible?
00:49 - Well, I have better news for you.
00:50 I'm leaving you in my will.
00:51 I'm tweaking it and you're in it.
00:53 - No, no, no, don't do that.
00:54 - It's done, you're in.
00:55 - I don't wanna be in.
00:56 I have money, I don't need it.
00:57 Give it to someone who needs it.
00:58 - When I die, I want you to know how much I care about you.
01:01 - I'm not gonna keep it, I'm gonna give it to charity.
01:02 - You're my best friend, you're getting it.
01:04 - No, I'm making a Sherman-esque statement
01:05 about the will right now.
01:07 - I'm sick of your historical references.
01:08 - If nominated, I will not run.
01:10 If bequeathed, I will not accept.
01:12 - Well, I'm bequeathing.
01:13 - Well, I'm not accepting.
01:14 - Well, you'll have to accept.
01:15 - Don't give it to me.
01:15 - Don't hurt my feelings.
01:17 - I'm not gonna keep a penny of it.
01:18 - You're hurting me.
01:19 - Thank you, but I don't want it.
01:20 - I'm giving it to you anyway, pal.
01:21 - Oh my God, fuck you.
01:23 - What are you doing?
01:30 - What do you mean?
01:31 - I'm waiting.
01:32 - For what?
01:32 - Troy and Jimmy are on the fairway.
01:34 - You're never gonna hit them.
01:35 - You don't think I could hit them?
01:37 - No, you've never hit the ball that far in your life.
01:40 Come on.
01:41 - Really?
01:42 - Yeah.
01:42 - You're never gonna hit it that far, what are you, nuts?
01:44 - All right, shut up.
01:46 - Now you shut up.
01:47 (suspenseful music)
01:50 - Holy shit!
02:00 - You hit him!
02:01 - I hit him!
02:01 - Troy, are you okay?
02:03 - Oh my God!
02:04 - How did you do that?
02:05 - Hey, what the fuck?
02:07 - I told you I shouldn't have fucking hit you,
02:09 you know that?
02:09 - Hey, hey!
02:10 - Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
02:13 - Troy, are you okay?
02:14 - Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.
02:16 Take it easy.
02:17 - Oh God, oh God.
02:18 - I'm so sorry.
02:19 - What in the hell?
02:20 - I don't know what happened, I'm so sorry.
02:23 - Why didn't you yell four?
02:24 - I couldn't yell four, I mean, he can't hear,
02:27 and what would be the point?
02:28 I waved, I did a lot of waving.
02:30 - When you talk, the interpreter can hear you.
02:32 - I know, but he was too far, he was in the car.
02:34 - I could've grabbed him and ran to the tree.
02:36 - There was no time, the ball was coming down.
02:38 - There's plenty of time, you yelled four when you hit it.
02:39 - Superman couldn't get there in time to stop that.
02:41 - You should've waited till we were in the clear,
02:42 why didn't you wait?
02:43 - Because the guys I was playing with,
02:45 they said, "Oh, go, go, go," they embarrassed me.
02:47 They said, "Oh, you can never hit him."
02:48 - Did you do the vertical drop, horizontal tug?
02:51 - Yeah, I did it, I did it.
02:52 I did the vertical drop and horizontal tug,
02:53 and you know what, it really worked.
02:54 Look how far I hit the ball, I couldn't even believe it.
02:57 - I'm watching you.
02:58 - Watching me?
02:59 Really, there's not much to watch, honestly, I mean,
03:01 I don't really go anywhere.
03:02 I'm home most of the time, I'll do a crossword puzzle,
03:05 sometimes I'll go out to dinner.
03:07 I hate my life, you don't wanna witness it.
03:09 - You're a real asshole.
03:12 - You know what, I am so deeply and profoundly sorry
03:15 for what happened.
03:16 I really wanna make it up to you somehow.
03:18 Let me get you a Postmates dinner,
03:20 I'll send one to your house, would you like that?
03:23 Some very good restaurants on Postmates,
03:24 I'll have it delivered right to your door.
03:26 So you don't wanna Postmates, hey, what did you do?
03:28 Did you tell him what I just said?
03:29 - Everything.
03:30 - Did you tell him about the Postmates dinner?
03:31 - I did.
03:32 - What'd you tell him, you just went like this,
03:33 you didn't do anything.
03:33 - That's the sign for Postmates dinner.
03:34 - It took two seconds.
03:35 - I'm good.
03:36 - Oh, you didn't tell him about the Postmates dinner.
03:38 - Don't bullshit me.
03:39 - Why didn't you tell him about the Postmates dinner?
03:40 - I told him.
03:41 - That's a very nice gesture.
03:42 - Deeply and profoundly sorry, and you offer him Postmates.
03:45 - You know he didn't tell him about the Postmates dinner.
03:47 - He did, he told him.
03:48 - And by the way, where's my ball?
03:49 - I don't know.
03:50 - You don't know?
03:51 - I don't know.
03:52 - What do you mean you don't know?
03:53 It hit him in the back, right over here.
03:54 - Lift up your ass, Larry.
03:54 - Where's the ball?
03:55 - It's gone.
03:56 - He took my ball.
03:57 - Go back to the T, hit another ball.
03:58 - He took my ball.
03:59 - Go back to the T, hit another ball.
04:00 Two stroke penalty.
04:01 You know what, I'm gonna just drop it over here,
04:03 that's all.
04:03 I'll drop it where the body was, right here.
04:05 That's in the rules.
04:06 I'm not gonna take a penalty, I'll tell you that.
04:08 I'm not taking a penalty.
04:09 I hit the ball over here,
04:10 I hit it one of the great shots of my life.
04:11 I'm playing from here.
04:12 Oh, he threw my ball away.
04:15 I gotta take a drop.
04:16 - No, no, no dropping, man.
04:18 - You can't take a drop.
04:19 - What are you talking about?
04:20 They threw my ball away.
04:21 - You hit somebody.
04:22 - That's right.
04:23 - He's fine, he's okay.
04:24 Listen, I'm dropping a ball.
04:25 - No, no, no, I watch you dropping a ball.
04:27 - I'm not going back to the T.
04:28 (coyote howling)
04:31 - What the fuck was that?
04:38 - Holy shit.
04:39 - Sounds like a coyote.
04:43 - It is a coyote.
04:44 They're killers, man.
04:45 - Sounds like he's eating a dog.
04:47 - Jeff, don't you live around there?
04:49 - That is my house.
04:50 Oh my God.
04:52 That could be my puppy.
04:55 (coyote howling)
04:57 (coyote howling)
05:00 (coyote howling)
05:03 (coyote howling)
05:06 (coyote howling)
05:08 [BLANK_AUDIO]