• 9 months ago
Live long and...oof. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks of the most unintentionally bad science-fiction films.
Transcript
00:00 But you may never ask of me anything again.
00:03 Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks of the most unintentionally bad science fiction films.
00:09 And just to let you know, no superhero movies in this one.
00:12 We will do as you command.
00:14 For the moment.
00:16 Number 10, Moonfall.
00:19 I don't know.
00:20 I got a lot of my own problems down here.
00:23 And the moon falling onto Earth isn't one of them?
00:28 When director Roland Emmerich made Moonfall in 2022, he wasn't new to the genre of sci-fi disaster movies.
00:34 After all, this is the guy that brought us The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 Back in the Aughts.
00:39 And while both of those films deserved consideration for this list, it was Moonfall that made the cut.
00:44 Trying to explain the overcomplicated plot about the moon falling towards Earth, an alien swarm, and an ancient artificial intelligence would take too long.
00:51 For many generations, they built planetary structures operated by benign artificial intelligence and fueled by the abundant energy of captured stars.
01:02 But needless to say, this one failed with both critics and audiences, scoring a paltry 35% of Rotten Tomatoes and a C+ Cinema Score.
01:10 As for the scientific accuracy of it all, scientists like Neil deGrasse Tyson find it laughable.
01:15 Halle Berry and the moon is approaching Earth and they learn that it's hollow and there's a moon being made out of rocks living inside of it.
01:23 And the Apollo missions were really to visit, to feed the moon being.
01:27 Number 9, Chaos Walking.
01:29 An orphan runt, unwanted, weak.
01:33 A science fiction movie written by Charlie Kaufman, directed by Doug Liman, and starring Tom Holland about a planet of men who can hear each other's thoughts definitely sounds intriguing.
01:42 However, after numerous rewrites by other authors, disappointing test screenings, and a bunch of reshoots, what we got with Chaos Walking was less intriguing and more just plain bad.
01:52 "It's strange to see everything you're thinking." "You know, it's strange for me too, not knowing what's going on in your head."
01:56 "Not knowing what you're thinking."
01:58 "I mean, I don't know, you might not like my dog or you want to hit me over the head with a rock or something."
02:03 Viewers criticized its shallow characters and weak story, and many commented on the missed opportunities in such a seemingly interesting premise.
02:10 Knowing what could have been makes watching it even more painful.
02:13 "I consider that a compliment." "It's not. Weakness rots from within."
02:19 "Thank you for the sermon."
02:21 Number 8, Terminator Genisys.
02:24 "There's a storm coming and it won't be stopped." "But it has to be. You know what will happen, you better than anyone!"
02:30 It seems like the most popular word in Hollywood over the last decade or two has been "reboot".
02:35 Just about every studio is looking for a franchise and blockbuster to build around, and seems to fear anything brand new without a bankable IP attached to it.
02:43 "I'm old, not obsolete." "I think you heard his feelings."
02:49 As we saw in 2015, Terminator was no exception. Genisys was supposed to be the first in a trilogy and launch a television series.
02:56 The film did bring in over $400 million, but that was less than what was hoped for.
03:01 Add to that the mostly disappointing reviews, and the studio said "Hasta la vista, baby!" to both sequels and the TV show.
03:08 "We're screwed, aren't we? Pretty much."
03:12 Number 7, Mac and Me.
03:14 "Where'd he come from?" "I don't know. He came in the van with you. I saw him when he first got here. Why didn't you tell me? I thought you knew."
03:23 Not to be confused with Joey's quickly-cancelled TV show on Friends, Mac and Me is a terrible 1988 film about an alien who makes friends with a boy after escaping from NASA agents.
03:33 If you're thinking it sounds a little like an E.T. rip-off, you're not alone.
03:37 "Your family here? He's pointing to my school! Oh my gosh, that's my mom! What are we going to do?"
03:47 One critic went so far as to call it an amazingly bald-faced copy of the Spielberg classic.
03:53 As bad as it is, it did get some laughs in a running joke where Paul Rudd trolled Conan O'Brien with clips of the film during his appearances on Conan's shows.
04:00 So, at least something good came out of it.
04:02 "We must be getting closer!" "Bummer, I thought it was going to be a spaceship."
04:07 Number 6, Jupiter Ascending.
04:09 "Are you saying your people killed the dinosaurs?" "Technically, they're your people, Majesty."
04:15 As the masterminds behind the Matrix movies, the Wachowskis have rightfully earned their sci-fi credentials.
04:20 However, given how bad Jupiter Ascending was, we don't hold it against anyone who would ask them to give those credentials back.
04:26 You'd think a story about a space warrior and a maid with a destiny beyond our planet would be sci-fi gold in the Wachowskis' hands.
04:33 "I'm a splice, you don't understand what that means, but I have more in common with a dog than I have with you."
04:40 "I love dogs."
04:41 But while most agree that this 2015 space opera looks great, the critical consensus was that the writing, acting, and confused storyline make it, to quote Rotten Tomatoes, "a visually thrilling misfire."
04:52 "Conan understands me... like you do."
04:58 Number 5, Godzilla
05:00 "He's right on my tail, sir!"
05:02 "I don't think I can shake him!"
05:06 Let's welcome director Roland Emmerich back to the list with this awful flick, which got the worst reviews of any American Godzilla movie by far.
05:14 In fact, it's one of the worst reviewed movies out of the entire Godzilla franchise, which includes more than 30 Japanese films.
05:20 "We've run it into a problem."
05:22 "Do you believe this?"
05:23 "No, I don't know what's going on."
05:25 "You never know what's going on."
05:26 "Thank you."
05:27 Emmerich is always good at giving us big special effects and action, but often his movies feature nothing much beyond that.
05:33 Even the film's producer and co-writer, Dean Devlin, admitted years later that the script wasn't very good, and they screwed up the movie.
05:40 We agree.
05:41 "That's why I needed the story so bad. I just couldn't tell you I'm a failure."
05:47 Number 4, Ballistic, X vs. Sever
05:50 "I went to a funeral."
05:52 "You saw the closed casket."
05:54 "You were seven years to telling this."
05:57 "You think I wouldn't have come to you right away if I'd known?"
05:59 We could start by telling you what this story is about, but honestly, it doesn't matter.
06:03 Or at least, that's what it feels like the filmmakers said to themselves when they made this piece of junk.
06:07 Pretty much the only good thing anyone had to say about this secret Asian sci-fi thriller is that it's action-packed from start to finish.
06:14 Beyond that, it's an unwieldy, incompetent mess with an equally clumsy title.
06:18 "You rise from the ashes with a license to do whatever you want."
06:22 "Power and profit."
06:24 "It's what we do."
06:26 Ballistic, X vs. Sever has the distinction of being the worst-reviewed movie in Rotten Tomatoes history,
06:32 and so far, the only film with over 100 reviews and a 0% critic score.
06:36 "What happens if somebody gets too much foam in their latte?"
06:39 "I'm in no mood."
06:41 "That makes two of us. I know about that job you pulled in Berlin last week. You're getting sloppy."
06:45 Number 3, Plan 9 from Outer Space
06:48 "My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space?"
06:56 Although these days, this film is the poster child for so bad it's good movies, it was not intended to be.
07:01 Director Ed Wood had big story ideas for the film, with the goal of making a great science fiction epic.
07:06 "This gives me a plan. Put the big one away. Pick up your electrode gun. Make sure it's in working order before pointing it at him."
07:14 But alas, his budget was not epic, and along with other issues that befell the production, what we got was a truly bad movie.
07:21 One that some critics have even called the worst film ever made.
07:24 But it has since built up a cult following, and even earned a place in Seinfeld history as part of the classic Chinese restaurant episode.
07:30 "I couldn't have dinner with him. Plan 9 from Outer Space, one night only, the big screen. My hands are tied."
07:38 Number 2, The Adventures of Pluto Nash
07:41 "It is a pleasure to meet me. Oh, I'm pretty feisty, huh?"
07:46 If you made 7.1 million dollars, you'd be super psyched, right? But what if you'd already invested 100 million dollars?
07:53 That's exactly what happened to the studios and investors on Eddie Murphy's 2002 box office bomb, The Adventures of Pluto Nash.
08:00 The script for this movie went through numerous rewrites over its lifetime, partly because Murphy kept rejecting the many revisions sent his way.
08:07 "You walked right into a trap that any idiot could see from a mile away."
08:10 "And I was walking right out until you came along."
08:12 Unfortunately for him, though, he eventually said yes to one of them.
08:16 The film is a science fiction action comedy, with very little action and even less comedy.
08:21 And Eddie Murphy seems about as happy to be in it as we are to be watching it.
08:25 "Thank you. Thanks for nothing. Worthless computer."
08:28 "How's it going?"
08:30 "It's not going at all."
08:32 Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions.
08:36 Star Trek V, The Final Frontier
08:38 Even the film's producer admitted that this one nearly killed the franchise.
08:41 "I don't understand."
08:43 "Each of us hides a secret pain. Share yours with me."
08:47 Planet of the Apes
08:49 The attempt at a twist ending to match the original fell horribly flat.
08:52 "Take your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty human!"
08:57 Piranha 2, The Spawning
09:01 James Cameron's directorial debut was a titanic failure.
09:05 "My God, we've got to tell somebody right now, and you have got to come with me to convince them."
09:11 "I can't do that. I'm not even supposed to be here."
09:13 Future World
09:14 The world would be better in the future if no one has to watch this movie.
09:17 "He told me his purpose on Earth was to reveal that the guitar had a soul."
09:21 "Can you teach me how to talk to God?"
09:24 "Yeah."
09:26 After Earth
09:27 This Smith family outing crashed and burned harder than a spaceship hitting Earth.
09:32 "Both my legs are broken, one very badly.
09:35 You are going to retrieve that beacon, or we are going to die."
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09:57 Battlefield Earth
10:00 "They told me this planet was ugly, but this has got to be one of the ugliest crack holes in the entire universe."
10:06 "I couldn't agree with you more."
10:07 Based on a book by L. Ron Hubbard, yes, that L. Ron Hubbard,
10:11 Battlefield Earth stars famed Scientologist John Travolta as the member of the Cyclos,
10:16 this race of humanoid aliens rule Earth in the year 3000.
10:19 The film was a pet project of Travolta's for years, and he was finally able to secure independent financing to get the thing made,
10:25 which is unfortunate for everyone who's had to sit through it. Acting, directing, screenplay, special effects, plot, they're all bad.
10:33 "While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to conquer galaxies."
10:41 Even actors who are great in other movies somehow give inexplicable over-the-top performances in this travesty.
10:47 The only good thing about Battlefield Earth is that it was so bad, they cancelled plans to make a sequel.
10:52 "And you can look at anything you want, because there is nothing that will help you."
10:58 Which movie made you wish you could get back the minutes you spent watching it? Let us know in the comments.
11:03 "You're not upset."
11:04 "Don't be crazy. Do you know how long I've waited for this day?"
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11:16 [outro music]