The Power of Authenticity and Accountability: interview with Gary Vaynerchuk
In a world where success is often equated with material wealth and external validation, Gary Vaynerchuk, popularly known as Gary Vee, stands out as a beacon of authenticity and accountability, Gary shares his invaluable insights with us on personal growth, entrepreneurship, and creating a positive impact.
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00:00 You're not alive for a long period of time
00:03 and you're dead forever.
00:04 And so you have this tiny window.
00:05 I'm going from being Mickey Mouse to being Walt Disney.
00:09 Fear is one of the most powerful currencies in the world.
00:13 - So what does Gary think about Gary?
00:16 - It was devastating for me to go through that
00:22 in the last 20 years realizing
00:24 that whole don't meet your heroes.
00:25 It's wild to me.
00:27 You know, I never made $100,000 in my 20s.
00:30 It was just that I loved it,
00:31 that I knew that I had more time.
00:33 Time is my great passion.
00:35 So in my 20s, I just knew like,
00:38 man, I have another 80 years to do this.
00:40 And that like brought me tremendous joy.
00:42 The stuff that I spew online is just me talking to everyone
00:47 about the conversations I have with myself.
00:49 I just have never seen money as the gateway to happiness.
00:53 I've seen opportunity to build
00:56 as the gateway to happiness.
00:58 (upbeat music)
01:13 - Welcome to the show, Gary.
01:24 - Thank you, my brother.
01:25 - So excited to have you here today.
01:26 - Happy to be here.
01:27 - Yeah, I mean, this is gonna be fun
01:28 because you're actually here for another reason,
01:31 which is the announcement of our cool collab
01:34 with Vee Friends and Everbolt.
01:35 - Yes.
01:36 - And I think it's gonna be such a game changer
01:38 for our brand to bring this digital world,
01:41 this digital exciting area,
01:44 as well as the creation of your brain,
01:46 these new characters into the retail of our footprint
01:49 and bring these two communities together.
01:51 - Yeah, I think anything that could ever be
01:53 one plus one equals 11
01:55 is kind of how I think about business development.
01:56 Obviously, as your footprint continues to grow,
01:59 and I think USR, especially for intellectual property,
02:02 you know, I'm an 80s baby.
02:04 And so like going to McDonald's and getting a Happy Meal
02:07 with like the toy or the IP of the day was so iconic
02:12 and really was ingrained in my head.
02:15 And I'm such a flipper and collector.
02:18 Like I remember working in my dad's liquor store
02:20 in my teenage years,
02:22 there was a Burger King right next door
02:23 and Lion King came out and was on fire.
02:26 And you know, I would like literally
02:28 every time I take out a package to someone's car
02:31 that bought at the store,
02:32 I'd run real quick to Burger King and buy a meal
02:35 just to get the actual collectible.
02:37 And so now that I have my focused Falcon
02:40 and can team up with, you know, with a QSR,
02:43 it's really kind of cool and very full circle.
02:46 And it's one of my favorite things
02:48 when it's no different really than doing this podcast.
02:52 When you're able to bring exposure
02:53 to something you believe in
02:55 and that is able to bring exposure to you,
02:57 those things work, right?
02:59 And so for me, many people are gonna walk into an Ember Bowl
03:03 and look up and be like, what is the Focus Falcon thing?
03:05 What is that, right?
03:07 And on the flip side, I just sent a text out to people
03:11 that live within, you know, a one hour drive
03:14 of the location we're going in after
03:16 and some of them are gonna stop by
03:17 and go in for the first time.
03:19 And obviously when we fully announced the partnership,
03:22 people go, I'm gonna drive people to locations,
03:24 obviously for the vending machine,
03:25 but also for the partnership we're doing.
03:27 And I just like that.
03:29 And I think now that humans have platforms
03:32 that they can actually drive people to think,
03:34 I think you'll see more and more
03:35 of those kinds of business development things.
03:37 - But, and I guess when you were ideating
03:39 this whole Be Friends line,
03:43 did you always think about the gumball machine?
03:45 The nostalgia of it?
03:46 - Yeah, I did.
03:48 I thought about that.
03:49 I thought about the trading cards for sure.
03:52 I thought about General Mills a lot.
03:54 So like cereal and Peter Pan peanut butter
03:57 and Flintstones vitamins.
03:59 So I thought a lot about CPG, apparel,
04:04 you know, like things that are like hopefully cool hats
04:07 and then broad market stuff.
04:08 Am I actually?
04:09 Oh yeah, you know, broad market, you know,
04:12 this is usually my undershirt, just my own.
04:14 You know, and so, yeah, I mean,
04:16 I've had 40 years of thinking about business and pop culture
04:20 and so yes, obviously the NFT forum
04:23 was the most exciting part for me.
04:24 That was comic book number one rookie card
04:27 in the new digital age.
04:29 And I think that will play out really interestingly well
04:32 over the next 20, 30 years.
04:33 But all the real life physical expansions
04:37 of the intellectual property,
04:39 and obviously the Pokemons and the Disneys
04:41 and the Marvels and the Star Wars,
04:44 there's just so many comps of things you can do
04:48 and watch outs, overexposure, not doing too many things.
04:52 You know, when I decided to do this with you,
04:54 that eliminates seven to 20 other different things
04:56 I was looking at.
04:58 So, you know, these are the things I'm navigating
05:01 with this intellectual property.
05:02 - Well, I love it 'cause I also think it was brilliant
05:04 whether it was top of funnel and top of mind or not,
05:07 that you're now introducing a whole different subset
05:10 of the population that may or may not be engaged
05:12 with the Gary Vee world.
05:13 - Of course.
05:14 - Because they may just want the toy.
05:15 - Yeah, and really the reverse.
05:18 And let me explain what I mean by that.
05:20 I've given it a really good run here the last decade.
05:23 And I'm aware that a lot of people know who I am.
05:25 You know, we're recording this the day after the Super Bowl,
05:28 walking around Vegas, like,
05:30 I'm getting stopped constantly and Gary Vee,
05:31 and it's amazing.
05:33 I also know it's a pimple on the ass.
05:36 You know, as big as, people bigger than me,
05:38 as big as any person that has 50 million followers
05:41 on Instagram or 100 million, even them,
05:45 even the most famous people you can think of,
05:47 in a world of 8 billion people,
05:50 there's only so many people you can get to as a human.
05:54 You don't resonate for everyone.
05:55 I'm too aggressive for some people.
05:57 I curse, that turns people off.
05:59 I'm a white male, that doesn't work for some people.
06:01 They can't associate with that part.
06:03 I'm a Jets fan.
06:04 I was on Radio Row all week making fun of Giant Fan
06:07 and Steeler fans and that makes them upset.
06:09 So, you know, there's things that are not gonna work.
06:12 With me, when I look at Mickey Mouse,
06:16 for me, when you look at these, you know,
06:18 when you look at Darth Vader, Spider-Man, Superman,
06:21 Hello Kitty, you know, Pokemon,
06:26 you realize that Sesame Street,
06:28 you realize that these characters have incredible reach.
06:32 And for me, I wanna talk about accountability.
06:34 I wanna talk about kindness.
06:36 I wanna talk about tenacity.
06:38 I wanna talk about compassion.
06:39 And, you know, it took me a long time to understand
06:43 that I was so well-parented that I wanted to give back
06:47 to the world some of those virtues.
06:50 I'm so happy, you know, I wanna share that.
06:53 And so, that is even why Gary Vee, in hindsight, happened.
06:58 And I wanna continue that.
07:02 And I don't wanna use Vee Friends as a gateway drug
07:06 for people to find Gary Vee.
07:08 I really don't.
07:09 I view this as a transition in my career.
07:12 It will happen.
07:13 But I do view this more as I'm going from being Mickey Mouse
07:18 to being Walt Disney.
07:19 I view this more as I was Hulk Hogan,
07:24 but now I'm Vince McMahon.
07:25 I wanna be behind these characters.
07:28 I'll be out, it's my personality, I like people.
07:30 I'll be out and about.
07:32 But this hunger I have for really leaving a positive deposit
07:37 it's a perfect framework, Vee Friends, for me.
07:41 This selfless part of me is very real,
07:45 but I'm also a full-bred entrepreneur
07:47 and want to accomplish business goals and financial goals.
07:50 And I love that part about me too.
07:53 And I enjoy that.
07:54 I think that's why Vee Friends works for me.
07:56 - And I actually can say this,
07:59 you're being truly authentic when you say that
08:01 because a lot of people that have platforms
08:04 are two different humans.
08:06 They're the human they are on their platform.
08:08 And then when you're with them socially,
08:09 they're a different person.
08:10 - Yeah, I know.
08:12 It was devastating for me to go through that
08:14 in the last 20 years realizing
08:15 that whole don't meet your heroes.
08:17 It's wild to me, especially when you hire people
08:21 that have worked for other high profile people,
08:24 you're just often disappointed on how they treat people.
08:28 So I'm sorry, go ahead.
08:29 - No, but I was going down that track
08:31 because what you just laid out
08:34 and how you are transitioning
08:35 a little bit more behind the scenes
08:37 to now make these things grow,
08:39 having more of that kindness, that empathy,
08:40 that compassion, that tenacity
08:42 that you were talking about, those traits,
08:43 you're all about them.
08:44 And having now spent some time with you personally,
08:47 I can say that I've seen that live.
08:49 And so I know that you are that same human saying all that.
08:54 And where I was going with it was in that same vein,
08:58 if you can now create more brands,
09:00 create the Vince McMahon who will create the league,
09:02 the Walt Disney who will create these offshoots of Mickey's
09:04 with those traits,
09:06 you can actually better this community and world.
09:09 And I think that's why people get so attracted to you,
09:10 even though you may be real and you curse
09:12 and you're a Jets fan,
09:13 and you are not gonna scare to say something
09:16 to someone that they need to hear,
09:18 you're authentic and it's coming from your heart.
09:19 - I come from a good place.
09:21 What definitely allows me to put my head on a pillow
09:23 is my intent is good.
09:25 I'm in a good place and I've always been.
09:28 Somebody said to me,
09:29 Dustin and I were talking about this on Radio Row,
09:32 like I was talking about something and the kid jumped in
09:33 and was awesome.
09:34 He was like, yeah, but you've got money.
09:36 I was like, yeah, but you only are saying that
09:38 'cause you're seeing me today.
09:40 I would argue in a lot of ways, all the stuff I believe in,
09:44 I believed in even more and executed even more
09:48 because now my time is being sucked into other things.
09:51 But I was not more happy in my 20s
09:56 and I never made $100,000 in my 20s.
10:00 It was just that I loved that I knew that I had more time.
10:03 Time is my great passion.
10:05 So in my 20s, I just knew like,
10:08 man, I have another 80 years to do this
10:10 and that brought me tremendous joy.
10:12 As a matter of fact, the stuff that I spew online
10:16 is just me talking to everyone
10:18 about the conversations I have with myself.
10:21 So when I'm out there saying you're 30 or 40
10:24 and you have lots of time,
10:26 like I literally think like this way, I'm 48.
10:29 I'm like, okay, 48, modern medicine.
10:32 Like I should probably, God willing, nothing too crazy,
10:35 I could get to 96.
10:37 I feel confident in that.
10:39 And I say to myself, crap, then I'm at a halftime.
10:44 And I blew it the first 20 years of my career
10:46 'cause I was a kid
10:47 and didn't have the opportunity to go all the way.
10:48 So like to me, that brings me joy.
10:51 I actually am very concerned.
10:52 This is real talk, very vulnerable.
10:55 I am a hair concerned of what my psyche looks like
10:58 in my late 70s, early 80s.
11:00 I've loved the idea of all this room to create and build.
11:05 And I do get a hair concerned
11:08 that if I know there isn't a lot more time,
11:11 how will that fuck with me?
11:12 My hope, and I've gotten a little bit more up,
11:16 I used to be very scared of this 10 years ago.
11:19 Lately, now at 48 versus 38, I'm like, okay, wait a minute.
11:23 What's gonna happen is what I'm starting to feel.
11:25 The more life you live, the more you're grateful for it,
11:29 the more you've scratched certain itches.
11:32 It was so weird.
11:34 This is crazy actually.
11:36 Even this morning walking to my car from my hotel room
11:39 to come here, I had this weird thought
11:42 of like how excited I'm gonna be to be a grandfather.
11:46 Like how I'm gonna not want to go
11:49 to some big business thing
11:51 because I'm gonna wanna go to my granddaughter's recital.
11:54 So there's a part of me that's starting to get
11:56 a little wiser about the concept of time.
11:59 But boy, I just have never seen money
12:04 as the gateway to happiness.
12:06 I've seen opportunity to build as the gateway to happiness.
12:11 And I think that that drives me
12:13 because I think no matter what financial
12:15 or even emotional situation you're in,
12:18 that optimism to you can turn it is very real
12:22 because if you decide you can't,
12:23 if someone's watching this and be like, fuck you, dude,
12:26 like you don't know me.
12:27 My mom was an alcoholic and I was a duct,
12:30 I mean, people have real shit.
12:31 - Yeah, oh yeah.
12:33 - I'm just like, I'm like, listen, I get it.
12:36 But if you just decide to say,
12:38 it's never gonna happen for me, like it's over, fuck life.
12:42 Like I got unlucky, it's no, well then it is.
12:46 It just is.
12:49 How you see life is how it is.
12:51 And so for me, no matter how shitty as my mom grew up,
12:54 my mom was born in the worst country in the world
12:56 at the time, the Soviet Union, you couldn't leave,
12:58 it was North Korea.
12:59 She lost her mother at five.
13:01 Her dad goes to jail when she's 10 for 10 years.
13:04 She has a shit life.
13:06 She's the most optimistic, positive person I know.
13:09 - What do you think created that optimism in her?
13:12 - Her DNA and probably some, you know,
13:15 they talk a lot about, and I'm undereducated on this,
13:17 I don't know this to be true or not,
13:19 but boy, do people have a big belief
13:21 that those first three, four, five years of your life,
13:24 there's a lot going on there.
13:25 And knowing how my mom and what she did for me
13:28 in those first five years,
13:30 my intuition is that her mom did that before she passed
13:34 and might've just got in that optimistic, nurturing love
13:37 and then DNA.
13:39 Like I have siblings, I have children.
13:41 Like DNA is a real fucking thing.
13:44 It is, you know, like it is what it is.
13:46 And so I think, I don't know, I just,
13:49 I sit here and I'm just literally,
13:51 as I look at that camera, I'm like, man, if one person,
13:55 if one fucking person who watches this video
13:59 and millions will over the next decades,
14:02 as you and I execute, this will be more interesting
14:05 for people to watch in 20 and 30 years is my intuition.
14:10 Man, if one fucking person leaves this saying,
14:12 you know what, fuck this.
14:13 Yes, I had pessimistic parents.
14:14 Even I have pessimistic DNA, but Gary's right, fuck it.
14:18 I will go to therapy.
14:19 Like when people buy a $8,000 watch
14:21 to make themselves feel better for a week,
14:24 I'd rather them put that into a bunch of $250 therapy
14:28 sessions over several years.
14:30 Like I just wish people knew that you're not alive
14:33 for a long period of time and you're dead forever.
14:36 And so you have this tiny window.
14:38 - And you better--
14:39 - Look, I was born in 1975.
14:41 What year were you born?
14:41 - '83. - Great.
14:43 '75 and '83.
14:44 A lot happened prior to '75 and '83.
14:47 And a lot is gonna happen after we're gone.
14:51 To me, it's like, fuck, man, don't mail this in.
14:54 'Cause you're mailed in before and after.
14:57 Don't mail in life.
14:59 - And I find it fascinating that people who have
15:02 that pessimistic view and they're saying those things,
15:05 why not fail trying?
15:06 Why not go for it?
15:07 Because they're scared of judgment.
15:10 Jeff, the difference between someone who goes
15:11 and someone who doesn't is incredibly predicated
15:14 on their self-esteem and insecurity framework.
15:17 They don't want to go because it's easier to complain
15:21 and tell everybody why everybody else got lucky
15:25 because you're not doing anything.
15:28 - You think the thought, what you're saying is the way
15:32 others perceive me would control me that much
15:36 that I would rather be in hell and unhappiness
15:39 so I can be the victim and say it's because of this,
15:42 this, and this rather than have people judge my effort
15:44 and be in the same position?
15:46 - Yes, 'cause fear is one of the most powerful
15:49 currencies in the world.
15:51 Most of the people that will vote in this November election
15:55 will vote from a place of fear.
15:56 Most of the way that parents will parent their children
16:00 between now and forever will be predicated on fear.
16:05 Most people work for people when you and I,
16:10 because of the way we're wired,
16:12 like why would you do that is because of fear.
16:15 Fear is an incredibly, this is why Star Wars crushed it.
16:20 The whole dark side and the Jedis is very, very,
16:23 very, very well done.
16:25 And I'll tell you why.
16:28 I believe optimism and fear are very close.
16:31 It's why the world-- - 11 and one?
16:33 - They're just like this, like a thin line.
16:37 Just a thin line.
16:38 And that's why the world works the way it works.
16:42 There's a lot of fucked up shit,
16:44 there's a lot of amazing shit.
16:46 And I think that the dark side,
16:49 like you look at Darth Vader, he's such an important part.
16:52 I literally think about the world
16:53 through the lens of Darth Vader.
16:55 Even the way that he turns in the end of like,
16:59 it's just like this is how I see the world.
17:01 When I see 90 year olds apologize to their family
17:04 for being not nice their whole time on their deathbed,
17:07 it makes me think of Anakin.
17:09 And like it makes me think of him.
17:11 And that's how I see the world.
17:13 And so yes, I believe exactly what I just said.
17:16 I think most people do most things
17:18 because of outside validation.
17:20 I feel like so much that has worked for me comes back.
17:25 When I was in my 30s and it started to get clear to me,
17:27 I was like, that's why I was weird in high school.
17:31 I was just like so utterly not penetratable
17:35 with peer pressure.
17:37 That's why I didn't drink.
17:38 My mom asked me not to drink alcohol.
17:40 I loved my mom so much and I wanted to do that for her.
17:43 And even though pretty girls were like,
17:45 come on, have a drink.
17:46 And even though my buddies were like,
17:47 you're a puss, like fucking drink.
17:49 Like it just didn't fucking penetrate.
17:51 - You never had a drink in high school?
17:53 - No, no.
17:55 And it never penetrated.
17:57 And it just kind of like,
18:00 I think like if you can deal with peer pressure
18:03 in high school, I think you can deal with it
18:06 for the rest of your life.
18:08 I often say this is still all high school
18:11 'cause it is for most people.
18:12 And so even this weekend in Vegas,
18:17 what's going on with people?
18:18 They're all peacocking.
18:19 There was like people like upset
18:21 they couldn't get into that table or that VIP room
18:24 as if it matters.
18:26 Like you mean the subjective opinion
18:28 of some people you barely know
18:30 is that you're not as cool as them?
18:31 Who gives a fuck?
18:33 I obviously got to a place in my career
18:34 where I'm lucky and can get into certain things,
18:37 but there are plenty of times where I can't.
18:40 And I'm fine.
18:41 Who gives a shit?
18:43 If Jay-Z doesn't want to invite me to something,
18:45 that makes sense to me.
18:46 That doesn't hurt my feelings.
18:48 And people just walk around with crazy insecurities
18:52 and audacity.
18:54 Like I've been to events where I see somebody roll up
18:58 and they're like, they're not known,
19:00 they can't get into whatever this thing is.
19:01 And they're like, yo, I got 80,000 followers on Instagram
19:04 and I just watched that.
19:05 And I'm like, by the way, please don't do that anymore.
19:08 It doesn't make you look good.
19:10 Not with winners, at least.
19:12 What does that mean?
19:14 It's just so fucking high school.
19:16 Who gives a shit how many followers you have?
19:18 Who gives a shit if you have a blue check mark?
19:20 Who gives a shit how much money you have?
19:21 Really, it doesn't fucking matter.
19:23 - That's true.
19:24 - Like I don't really know how much money
19:26 anybody really, really has.
19:28 I know what people try to perceive out there,
19:30 but it's not gonna make me like or dislike
19:32 Drew Brees anymore, right?
19:35 Like I don't understand what we're doing out here.
19:37 So yes, I believe that most people are scared
19:41 of other people's opinions
19:42 and it dictates all of their actions, all of them.
19:45 - As an entrepreneur, I know how meaningful it is
19:49 to invest in the people and causes that are close to me.
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20:43 Let's start our success journey today.
20:45 So in the spirit of what my goal with this show,
20:52 because I'm doing it,
20:54 I think I have found,
20:55 and I know you have too based on what you just said,
20:57 that once you achieve a certain level
20:58 of what you were chasing,
21:00 that financial success, professional success,
21:03 and you look at your business career,
21:04 it's like what fills you up is actually watching
21:06 and helping those in your circle grow.
21:08 Winning is a team.
21:10 And so the spirit of the show is to help people
21:12 that are struggling, that are saying,
21:14 "Hey, I see this, I don't have a path,
21:16 I don't have the, I don't know what to do."
21:20 How do we help them not stay victim to their fear
21:23 and get away from that?
21:24 Because if fear is as strong as you're saying it is,
21:26 and it's actually making people make these life decisions,
21:29 which are curtailing their ability to have happiness
21:32 and find success,
21:33 how as the community,
21:36 and especially someone with your platform,
21:37 how can we help them see past it?
21:39 - I'm fucking, I'm pounding this.
21:42 I mean, I've put out fucking 10 years of content,
21:45 at least seven years, I'm doing it every day.
21:47 It's what I'm doing in the meta right now.
21:49 I'm telling all of you right now,
21:51 the fear you have of your mom or dad's opinion,
21:55 of your sibling's opinion, of your spouse's opinion,
21:58 of the person you're dating's opinion,
22:00 of the people that follow you on social media,
22:02 of your neighbor, of anyone,
22:04 like the fear of their opinion is the trap.
22:09 And how do you get out of that?
22:12 By first understanding, by agreeing with me,
22:14 by sitting on the other side right now,
22:16 on a laptop or a phone and being like,
22:19 "In a very vulnerable state," saying, "He's right.
22:22 "He's right."
22:25 And once you understand that, it's game over.
22:29 What I mean by that is it's game on.
22:31 Meaning, whether it is therapy or exercise
22:34 or different ways of eating
22:35 or listening to different content,
22:37 one of the things that drives me crazy right now
22:41 is I already know that fear is the enemy.
22:44 And then most people right now are in their phones
22:46 or on television just consuming fear.
22:48 CNN and Fox do the same shit, people.
22:51 They sell fear.
22:52 They're just selling a different message of fear.
22:55 A lot of people that are trying to sell you shit
22:57 are selling fear.
22:58 Like, if you don't take this supplement,
23:01 you're gonna die, oh fuck.
23:03 It's fucking fear.
23:04 And so I think it's very clear to me that what can they do?
23:09 They can be self-aware and vulnerable with themselves.
23:13 I'm not even asking you to talk to anybody.
23:15 Just talk to yourself.
23:18 All I'm asking is for you to talk to yourself
23:19 and say how much truth is in this.
23:21 And people don't realize that they've been doing it
23:23 their whole life.
23:24 This is why I hate the school system.
23:26 Like, this whole A, B, C, D, F thing is crazy.
23:29 Like, people just conform into getting an A,
23:32 that short-term validation on something that means nothing.
23:35 The amount of straight A students that I meet
23:38 happened three different conversations this weekend
23:41 that were like, yeah, I just knew how to get the A,
23:42 I memorized it for the test, and then I was out,
23:44 I don't even remember anything.
23:45 That wasn't learning.
23:47 That was memorizing to conform to a system
23:49 that doesn't match real life.
23:51 That sucks.
23:53 - Yeah.
23:53 - So I don't know, like, this is one big game
23:55 of self-esteem.
23:56 This is why I tell parents, you're worried about your kids?
23:59 Create true self-esteem.
24:01 That's why eighth place trophies fucked it up.
24:03 That was fake self-esteem, and those kids knew.
24:06 - And we're seeing the result of that in today's world.
24:07 - Massively, these parents told these kids,
24:10 we don't think you're good enough,
24:12 so we're just gonna reward all of you.
24:13 There's nothing worse than a parent indicating
24:17 that they don't think you're good enough.
24:18 Eighth place trophies, and the worst one,
24:21 giving them money after they're an adult.
24:24 For everybody who's got a, every parent right now,
24:27 and I don't like giving parenting advice individually.
24:29 I like doing it macro.
24:31 'Cause individually there's a million dynamics,
24:32 and I don't know you, and you don't know me,
24:34 but macro, by far, the biggest observation I've had
24:39 in the last decade of all the trillions of DMs that I read,
24:42 is that if you're 22 to 30,
24:45 and your parents are giving you money,
24:47 there's bad shit going on mentally.
24:50 There's resentment by the parents.
24:52 They don't realize what they're doing,
24:55 but they're building resentment towards their child,
24:58 and there's deep insecurity about the kid,
25:00 'cause their parents are saying to them,
25:02 I so don't believe in you, that I have to give you money.
25:05 It's a big problem.
25:08 Now, before all the kids go, yeah, fuck you, mom and dad,
25:11 be a fucking grownup, and stop taking the money.
25:14 If you shit on your parents,
25:16 and you're over the age of 18,
25:18 and I'll make it even easier for you.
25:20 If you shit on your parents,
25:22 and you're over the age of 22,
25:25 and they give you money, you're a fucking asshole.
25:29 Straight talk.
25:30 If you take money from your parents,
25:33 and you're over the age of 22,
25:35 get their names out of your fucking mouth
25:37 in any negative form.
25:40 Kiss the ground they walk on.
25:42 Shut your fucking mouth.
25:43 You don't want them to have say, stop taking the bag.
25:47 Whoever pays for something has say.
25:49 You don't want your parents to have say,
25:51 stop taking the fucking money.
25:53 And don't do it cute, like let them still pay for your Uber,
25:57 'cause it's on their credit card.
25:58 - Or their cell phone.
25:59 - Yeah, or you're on the fucking family plan.
26:01 Get the fuck off the family plan.
26:03 - Is Netflix okay?
26:04 - No.
26:05 Not even the shared fucking password,
26:07 even though they shut that shit down.
26:08 Good job, Netflix.
26:09 - Yeah, good job.
26:10 - That was such a rope-a-dope.
26:11 Let us get us all into the sharing the passwords,
26:14 and then we're just gonna cut it off.
26:14 - Yeah, they gave you the drugs.
26:15 - Fuck!
26:16 - Netflix. - So smart.
26:17 - So smart.
26:18 Netflix, you fucking gangster.
26:19 - I think there's two sides.
26:21 You did say the eighth place trophy
26:22 is parents not believing in their kids, but-
26:24 - It was well-intended, the eighth place trophy.
26:27 It was well-intended.
26:29 - So with my kids, I never played with that.
26:31 I would tell them.
26:32 - Me too.
26:33 - Because I think it's more important
26:35 that kids at that age learn how to lose,
26:38 and it doesn't break them.
26:39 'Cause we're so fragile today.
26:40 Everyone has this need to be offended,
26:42 and they can't handle adversity and losses
26:44 because they've never had to learn it.
26:46 - I know.
26:46 - And adults don't learn shit.
26:48 - No shit.
26:49 I'm on board.
26:50 - That's the challenge.
26:51 - I think we should bring back fighting.
26:53 - What kind of fighting?
26:54 - I think it was good that in third grade,
26:56 sixth grade, fifth grade, I got into fights.
26:58 Oded Weinstock, if you're out there, please email me.
27:02 Gary@vaynermedia.com.
27:04 We need our fourth fight.
27:05 I had a trilogy with this dude.
27:06 It was like Ali Frazier.
27:07 I fought him in second, fifth, and sixth grade.
27:10 - What was the record?
27:11 - Two and one.
27:12 He fucking caught me.
27:13 - Twice?
27:14 - No, I won twice.
27:15 I won in second grade blowout.
27:17 I kicked him off his bike, sat on his back,
27:20 and just pounded his back, crushed him, cried home.
27:23 Then the big fight, actually I misspoke.
27:27 We actually fought twice in one day.
27:30 So it was second grade, then there was always that rivalry,
27:32 and then in sixth grade, excuse me,
27:34 he fucking got me, he punked me in an interesting way.
27:38 I talked some shit.
27:39 We always had a rivalry.
27:40 I talked some shit, I turned around, he pushed me,
27:42 and the locker caught my little skinny ribs,
27:46 like the combo, and I fell, and he got on top of me,
27:49 and he was kind of on top of me,
27:51 and then the teachers broke it up
27:52 'cause this was before homeroom.
27:54 I didn't think much of it
27:56 'cause it wasn't a full-pledged fight,
27:59 but then by first, second, and third period,
28:01 everybody was whispering, "Oded beat up Gary,"
28:04 and I was like, "Holy shit.
28:06 "My whole entire reputation is on the line."
28:09 I was petrified, so at lunch, I got up,
28:12 I walked over to his table,
28:13 I'm like, "After school at Marco's house."
28:16 So there's kid Marco that lived
28:17 right by John Adams Middle School,
28:19 and the ice cream truck parked in front of his house,
28:21 and there's this little hill.
28:23 And so literally out of a 1970s movie,
28:26 at 3.15 after school, full circle, 60 fucking kids.
28:31 I don't know, yep, 'til this day,
28:34 it was the most scary moment of my life
28:37 'cause I knew within seconds,
28:39 everything was gonna be decided for my entire childhood.
28:42 And by the way, we were the same size in second grade.
28:47 By sixth grade, he was bigger than me,
28:49 and we're in this fuck, I'll never forget,
28:51 Tyler Bunting was in his corner,
28:53 Robbie Turnick and Andy Greco in my corner,
28:56 a bunch of kids, and the fight starts,
28:58 like straight up, like go.
29:00 And pretty quickly, he gets the upper hand in a clinch,
29:04 and he's on top of me.
29:06 And I swear to you, Jeff, this is like,
29:08 it's unbelievable how childhood works,
29:10 back to adversity and losing.
29:12 When I tell you I was in trouble,
29:15 like he's on top, like the bad on top, not like--
29:17 - Like UFC on top?
29:18 - Yeah, like UFC on top, I'm there,
29:21 and I'm like, literally he's throwing punches,
29:23 and some are catching, and some aren't.
29:26 And he's probably like 30 pounds heavier than me,
29:28 when we're both like, he was 100,
29:30 I was 70, or whatever the fuck it was.
29:32 And I'm like, literally like, for the love of God,
29:35 I've gotta get, I've gotta fucking get out of this.
29:39 And somehow, I get out of it, and then I get very,
29:43 I will always say this, I got lucky.
29:45 I get him off, and I throw like a punch and a kick,
29:50 we're both on the ground, and the fucking kick
29:53 hits him directly in his face,
29:56 and his entire nose explodes, and he's bleeding everywhere.
30:00 It was like, big, right?
30:02 The story the next morning was that I punched him,
30:03 but I know it was my foot,
30:05 'cause I threw 'em both at the same time.
30:07 We both kinda get up, because he got knocked back by that,
30:10 I get knocked back, we get up, and it just pours,
30:13 and luckily, that just shook him,
30:16 and he kind of like, cried and ran off,
30:20 and it was like fucking at a Rocky,
30:21 like the whole circle got me, it was,
30:24 it's pretty much the best moment of my life.
30:26 And anyway, long-winded way to tell you that,
30:30 I believe that fight, both for me and Oded,
30:33 was a good thing.
30:34 My intuition is, actually, the next year,
30:36 me and Oded got a little friendly,
30:37 we played a little tennis together,
30:38 and then I moved, and I've lost touch.
30:40 So I think he does real estate,
30:41 I Googled him a couple times,
30:42 I think he does real estate down in South Jersey.
30:44 Nonetheless, I will promise you
30:47 that that was good for me and Oded.
30:49 And I believe all this cushy, cushy, cushy shit,
30:51 and we fucking track our kids,
30:53 do you know there's college kids
30:55 that are being tracked by their parents on their phones?
30:57 Like track-tracked, or just still being shared?
31:00 - No, no, track-tracked, like the fucking Find My Kid,
31:02 or whatever fucking app is,
31:03 and it's just fucking fucked up.
31:04 Like, we have fucking grown-ass children.
31:07 Like, fucking kids used to go outside,
31:09 your parents had no fucking clue where you were,
31:11 now we're just in our kids' shit,
31:13 and all these parents are hovering,
31:15 and then all of a sudden, all these people at work,
31:18 like it's crazy, we fucking hover and smother
31:20 and suffocate them, and then at work,
31:22 we shit on all the 20-year-olds that come to work for us,
31:26 'cause they're not our kids.
31:27 Meanwhile, our kid's doing the same shit
31:29 at another company, and it's all fucking bullshit,
31:31 and we need to fucking cut it out.
31:33 - And we're seeing the results.
31:34 - Yeah, and by the way, for all the kids
31:36 that aren't that way, you should love,
31:38 you should kiss your parents in the face.
31:40 If you're a kid that your parents
31:42 didn't smother you that way, but still loved you,
31:45 it's not like they didn't give a shit.
31:46 Well, guess what, good news,
31:48 you're about to kill all these softies.
31:50 The fucking 22-year-old that's got a chip
31:53 on their shoulder is about to,
31:55 I dismantled everybody growing up 22 to 40
31:59 that I was around, but a lot of them weren't coddled either.
32:03 I was just more ridiculous.
32:05 This new crew, if you're a 22-year-old
32:09 and you got something and you have self-esteem
32:10 and you're not scared of losing,
32:12 you're about to fucking dominate.
32:14 - Yes.
32:15 You just summed it up, that getting over
32:18 that fear of losing.
32:20 - This goes back to judgment.
32:22 This is why everyone's scared of judgment.
32:24 Our parents taught us that losing's bad.
32:26 - Yeah.
32:28 - They taught us, they said, "Losing is so bad
32:29 "that we're gonna have to give you something."
32:31 Fuck that shit, man, I'll tell you,
32:33 when my kids started playing sports,
32:35 when I saw a kid cry, I would run over to him.
32:37 I wouldn't even go to my kid,
32:38 I'd run over to the kid that cried
32:40 and be like, with the parents there,
32:41 I'm like, "You're the best, you're the best kid here.
32:44 "Good, cry more."
32:46 That's a winner.
32:47 If you care, do you understand
32:50 that eighth place trophies created indifference?
32:53 Do you know how dangerous indifference is?
32:55 Do you know what the mindset of it doesn't matter means?
32:59 If you're someone who says it doesn't matter,
33:01 you're in a very dangerous spot.
33:04 Indifference is dangerous.
33:06 And that's what we taught these kids.
33:09 We demonize competitiveness.
33:12 A kid fucking cries and we're like,
33:15 "That's not good."
33:16 Fuck you, parent.
33:18 That's the best.
33:20 Show me a kid that cries after losing a sports match
33:23 when they're in third grade,
33:24 I'll show you someone who's gonna win in life.
33:25 Period, end of story.
33:26 - Michael Jordan cries when he won or lost 'cause he cared.
33:30 - It's the best.
33:33 I think pro athletes should cry.
33:35 Pro athletes do cry.
33:36 - They do.
33:37 - I was at the game yesterday,
33:39 but I'm sure, like I saw in the AFC,
33:40 NFC Championship game, they zoom in, they're crying.
33:43 It's called giving a fuck.
33:46 It's just a game, fuck you.
33:50 It's just a game to you, loser parent.
33:52 It's not a fucking game to me.
33:53 This was my life.
33:54 This fucking volleyball game in fourth grade
33:57 was my fucking life.
33:58 Fuck you, it's just a game.
34:00 Everything's just a game.
34:02 Fuck you.
34:04 - But the kids who were broke-
34:05 - This one's got me pissed.
34:06 - No, it's good.
34:07 - It's like, fuck you, it's just a game.
34:08 It's not just a game.
34:09 It's just not.
34:12 Life's a game.
34:13 - Well, it's all a game.
34:14 - It's all a fucking game.
34:15 - Pick your game.
34:15 - The whole thing's a fucking simulation.
34:17 It's a fuck, everything's a game.
34:21 Don't tell me it's just a game.
34:23 You fucking modern parenting bullshit
34:26 of sucking alphas winning DNA out of them
34:30 is a fucking problem.
34:32 - You didn't always have this awareness to this.
34:36 - I had no idea, I was just living like most people.
34:38 - So what does Gary think about Gary today
34:43 and also let's say 10 years ago?
34:46 - The same shit that I'm a nice dude
34:48 that's competitive and hungry and nice and-
34:51 - No, I mean the self-talk,
34:52 not how you view yourself from an external side.
34:55 How did the mind that you played,
34:57 like you said, you were scared
34:58 when you were about to get in that fight
34:59 and you had that moment.
35:00 Today.
35:01 - I'd still be scared if I got into a fight.
35:03 If you and I had a fight right now,
35:04 which I would be willing to do.
35:06 - Would you?
35:07 - Yeah, 100%.
35:07 I'm so crazy, bro.
35:09 I will fight you.
35:11 I'm serious, I'll fight.
35:12 - When are we doing this?
35:13 We need 60 people on our hill.
35:14 - I need at least a pay-per-view though.
35:15 Let's make some money if we're gonna do that.
35:16 - Okay.
35:17 Should we get on the undercard?
35:19 - If we did that, right?
35:20 Let's say this got weird and we just took it to the max.
35:23 I'd be scared shitless.
35:24 Nothing, pain doesn't scare me at all.
35:27 You get knocked out, you wake up.
35:29 Reputation over everything.
35:32 I don't need to be fucking walking around life
35:34 and people being like, what about Jeff?
35:36 I'd be like, motherfucker.
35:37 Like, losing, like-
35:38 - The airball guy.
35:39 - You know what I mean?
35:40 And so like, I just think that
35:42 it's no different than doing a podcast.
35:45 Like walking in here, I'm like,
35:47 look at all the names in the sign board.
35:48 And I'm like, I'm gonna do a better podcast
35:50 than all those fuckers.
35:51 Fuck Drew Brees.
35:53 Fuck shit.
35:53 You know, like that's how I think.
35:55 And so, speech, going into a business meeting.
35:59 And then what, you know how that manifests?
36:00 You know, some people hearing that are like, what the fuck?
36:02 It manifests in a beautiful way.
36:04 We're about to go do an event in a store.
36:06 Whether one person shows up,
36:09 or 7,000 people showed up, or anything in between,
36:12 I will give it everything.
36:14 Right, Dustin?
36:14 You know that.
36:15 Like, you've seen it.
36:16 You've seen me in front of 15,000 people,
36:18 and you've seen me go to a thing
36:20 that we thought 50 people would be there,
36:21 and four people are there, and I rip it regardless.
36:25 And I think that's, people hear like, I want, fuck Drew.
36:28 They're like, oh, that's nasty.
36:29 No, no, it's good.
36:31 It's good.
36:32 I love Drew Brees.
36:33 He's super nice.
36:33 Especially Drew Brees.
36:34 The Jets beat him in a playoff game.
36:37 That made me very happy.
36:38 So with Drew, I have no angst.
36:41 The only time we ever played him that it mattered,
36:42 the Jets beat him.
36:45 And he's the most lovely guy, so no problem there.
36:48 But what I mean by that is, that's a good mindset.
36:51 And I think for some reason, in the last 20, 30 years,
36:54 we made it like it's bad.
36:56 - Well, his quote on that wall, funny enough,
36:58 is how you do anything is how you do everything.
37:01 That's exactly what he wrote on our wall.
37:03 - That's so cool.
37:04 And like, yes.
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37:32 Hey there, it's your host, Jeff Fenster,
37:35 and I have something very exciting to share with you today.
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38:23 - So anyway, you know, the inner talk to me is like,
38:31 I'm still the same person.
38:32 I'm very detached from my success, very.
38:36 I don't think I'm better than anybody.
38:37 I really don't.
38:39 I know that I'm good at business.
38:40 I know I'm a good communicator.
38:42 I know I have good work ethic.
38:44 But I don't think that makes me better than anyone.
38:46 I think humility is, you know, to your point,
38:50 when you said that little thing earlier,
38:53 which means more to me than anything,
38:55 you saying I've seen it up close and personal, I like it,
38:58 that's what I live for.
39:00 So like, you know, when you see me at the airport, right?
39:03 We did an event, we were at a similar event,
39:05 I remember we ran into each other in the line, right?
39:08 You know, I think I might have even been on a call.
39:09 But it was still important to me
39:11 to be able to talk to you.
39:13 - It was the first day we met
39:14 and then we saw each other in the airport.
39:15 - You know, like, those are the moments.
39:18 Obviously the dinner, drinks we had the other day,
39:19 like those are the moments, that's when you know.
39:22 And, you know, I don't know,
39:24 I just think that the inner dialogue is very similar.
39:28 I still wanna step up and I wanna take the last shot.
39:31 You know?
39:32 You know, that fear is amazing.
39:35 That currency.
39:36 Now, I'm chill with my fear,
39:38 meaning, again, you've I think seen this,
39:40 Dustin, you definitely know,
39:42 some of you have seen it,
39:42 like, the second before I take the stage
39:44 in front of 5,000 people,
39:45 I'm on my phone trying to like do some business
39:47 or get some stuff done.
39:49 Like, I get into a zone.
39:51 It's not a crippling fear.
39:53 It's just, it's a humble currency.
39:56 It means, hey fuckface, this is me talking to myself,
39:59 it doesn't matter what you've ever done.
40:02 - Yeah.
40:03 - It doesn't matter.
40:04 If you shit the bed on this talk,
40:07 all those people are like, you suck at speaking.
40:09 If your next 12 business decisions all fail,
40:12 it means you got worse.
40:14 You're not as good.
40:15 I love the merit of life in business,
40:19 and that's the inner dialogue.
40:21 - Do you find that when you're going through those moments
40:24 and you look back at where you were to where you are,
40:28 have you noticed yourself kind of,
40:29 are you self-adjusting on that growth?
40:32 - I'm sure.
40:33 Of course.
40:34 - Consciously or just subconsciously?
40:35 - Much more subconsciously, is my belief.
40:40 But consciously too, like, you know,
40:42 I think as a communicator,
40:45 I definitely consciously make sure that
40:49 if I'm on a talk track, that I create clarity.
40:53 Right, this is why I like doing a podcast like this.
40:54 A clip might be out of context, you know.
40:58 And so, I definitely think about that.
41:01 I read all the comments.
41:03 I read comments and I read DMs,
41:04 so I have a sense of, am I hitting the mark?
41:06 Are people getting what I'm saying?
41:08 Am I, and anytime I'm misunderstood, I take it on me.
41:11 I hate when people blame the audience.
41:15 This is a good one actually, for this show.
41:18 I don't talk about this enough.
41:20 I hate when people blame the audience.
41:21 If you only have a thousand views, that's not their fault.
41:25 I hear it all the time.
41:28 People are like, they don't get me.
41:29 I'm too ahead of, my favorite bullshit excuse,
41:33 I'm too ahead of my time.
41:34 No, you're not.
41:35 People are just not interested in your shit.
41:37 Like, you know, like, I don't blame the audience.
41:42 And that level of accountability, I think a lot about.
41:44 So when I see people misunderstand what I'm doing,
41:48 I create clarity and I just,
41:49 I'll give you a perfect example.
41:51 My garage sale videos.
41:53 You know, when I read the comments,
41:55 they're like, what the fuck?
41:56 This fucking multi-millionaire is ripping people off.
42:00 They just, they got a $50 item
42:02 and it's eight bucks and he's nagging them down
42:05 to four bucks.
42:07 You know, for me, I'm doing a show to teach people
42:09 who only have $83 in their bank account
42:11 how to get to the next place.
42:14 And for me, it's not like I'm taking the items
42:15 I'm buying at garage sales and actually flipping them.
42:17 I'm giving them to my nephew to teach him entrepreneurship.
42:21 But, you know, I read the comments
42:22 and the last episode I did, I said, by the way,
42:23 every dollar I save, I'm gonna make a donation to charity.
42:26 Because not for any other reason,
42:29 I'm not overly worried about those comments.
42:31 I'm overly worried about the people
42:32 that make those comments.
42:34 I wanna suffocate out their excuse.
42:36 - Yeah.
42:38 - I wanna give them one less thing to say,
42:40 but what about this?
42:41 What about the gas?
42:42 What about the shipping fees?
42:43 What about eBay costs?
42:44 I'm like, you mean costs of good of running a business?
42:46 Like, you know, like I wanna give them one last thing
42:51 to say, okay, I don't see the angle to be cynical
42:54 or complain or shit on.
42:57 Instead, what's left is motivation and optimism.
43:01 Fuck it.
43:01 Instead of sleeping into 11 this Saturday
43:04 and doing nothing, I'm gonna wake up at 6.30,
43:07 I'm gonna take 30 bucks and see how right
43:09 or wrong Gary Vee is.
43:10 And I can tell you by the hundreds of emails
43:13 I've gotten in the last five years about it,
43:16 there are very few things I do in life
43:18 that make me feel more fulfilled
43:20 than my garage sale videos.
43:21 Because the emails I get on the other side,
43:24 it feels great when real business people like yourself
43:26 hit me up and say, hey, that thing you did about TikTok,
43:29 that really helped me.
43:30 Or hey, the blockchain, like when you said 99% of NFTs
43:33 were gonna go to zero, that made me look at it differently
43:35 and this helped me.
43:36 But when fucking someone emails me
43:38 and shows me a screenshot of their Wells Fargo
43:42 of $4.09, and then they send me screenshots
43:47 of their eBay account with $35,000,
43:50 and they're like, I went from $4 to $35,000 in a year
43:53 going to thrift stores and fucking garage sales
43:56 because of one of your videos,
43:57 there will never, I'm not sure I'm gonna find it
44:01 because it really fucking matters to that person.
44:02 - You changed someone's life.
44:03 - Period.
44:04 - The business person that helped you out on TikTok,
44:06 you didn't change their life,
44:07 you just gave them a little extra.
44:08 - And listen, I love it, and by the way,
44:09 it does change lives, it allows those people
44:11 to do bigger things, but man, to your point,
44:13 like fuck, it just hits different.
44:15 And I know that a stunning majority of the people
44:18 that are watching here, not everybody only has $4.
44:22 A lot of people have less, they're in massive debt.
44:24 And more importantly, a lot of people are getting by
44:27 and that, here's the big one, another good analogy.
44:31 This morning my heart was so full
44:33 because I saw so many videos and recaps
44:36 of dads and daughters watching the Super Bowl
44:38 because of Taylor Swift.
44:39 Taylor Swift will do a lot of things in her life.
44:42 The fact that she's gonna bring daughters and dads together
44:46 because of this football thing, she may never top that.
44:50 It's so remarkable.
44:52 I have such flowers for her impact on that.
44:55 I love football and it's great that the sport's
44:57 a little more popular, no, no, no.
44:59 The amount of dads and daughters that are gonna build
45:02 their relationship off of this moment.
45:04 Because a lot of the videos I've seen is like,
45:06 okay, she's now watched football,
45:07 now I'm taking her, not mom, to her next Taylor Swift concert.
45:11 It's the best.
45:12 Anyway, to me, those kind of things are just so important
45:17 and so, so impactful and I just,
45:22 I think there's so many opportunities
45:25 to bring positivity to the world
45:27 and I just wish more people focused on it.
45:29 - Well, that's a great segue to my last question
45:31 before rapid fire.
45:32 For all the entrepreneurs, aspiring entrepreneurs,
45:36 entrepreneurs, people working in jobs
45:38 that don't wanna be an entrepreneur
45:38 but just wanna be the best version of themselves,
45:41 what are those couple things that you want them
45:44 to start to think about consciously over the next 365 days
45:48 so a year from today they're not in the same position,
45:50 living the same issues, same uncertainties?
45:53 What are those traits that you think can be worked on,
45:57 should be worked on and aren't talked about enough
45:58 'cause they're overlooked?
46:00 - This is gonna, again, seem nuanced and complicated
46:04 but I think it will land,
46:05 especially if somebody's watching this, is my intuition.
46:08 The number one way to get happier
46:13 is to take on 100% full accountability.
46:18 If you literally wake up, this is very nuanced
46:20 so I'm gonna say it nice and slow.
46:21 If you wake up and say everything is my fault,
46:24 when people hear that,
46:25 they think that will make you more unhappy.
46:27 I'm a piece of shit, I'm a loser, it's not true.
46:31 It is if you don't understand it
46:32 which is why I'm breaking it down slow.
46:34 If you say everything is my fault,
46:36 you get optimistic in knowing that you can then fix it.
46:39 It's a big deal.
46:42 The reason I believe that I'm happy
46:45 is because I think everything's my fault.
46:48 And so what happens is if you're blaming your parents,
46:51 which so many do, you're in big trouble.
46:55 Because guess what, they had parents too.
46:57 So blame your grandparents.
46:58 You know, VCon, I said, "Fuck your grandparents."
47:00 And the whole crowd was like, "What the fuck just happened?"
47:02 I was like, "No, no, but let me explain
47:03 "what I'm actually trying to say," right?
47:05 Which is you can't be mad at your dad
47:07 knowing that your grandma fucked him up
47:08 and oh, by the way, there's great grandparents.
47:11 So I think what I want for everyone
47:13 is to be fully accountable.
47:15 It's like the amount of people that blame Trump,
47:18 then Biden, then Trump again, then the next, the president.
47:22 What a joke.
47:23 Their parents.
47:23 I get it, but it's not going to be productive.
47:26 The second you realize, like sure,
47:28 you can have a lot of anxiety
47:30 and resentment towards your mother,
47:32 but you're now grown.
47:34 And maybe instead of buying a new Xbox,
47:37 you can go do therapy, meditation, exercise.
47:41 And by the way, you don't need to pay for things.
47:43 Why don't you go outside and take a two-hour walk,
47:46 put on some headphones, 'cause I know you have those,
47:48 and listen to a podcast that's free.
47:50 This right here, listen to it every day.
47:53 I'm not joking.
47:54 Try to get you some views.
47:55 - Appreciate it. - Listen to this every day.
47:57 And so get positivity in your ears,
47:59 become fully accountable to your life.
48:02 It's not the government or your parents' fault.
48:05 It's they've put you in certain situations,
48:08 but you have the strength and capacity to make it better.
48:13 You just do.
48:15 And once that happens, it becomes such a good life.
48:20 You're mad at your husband?
48:21 Talk to him.
48:22 Instead of being resentful and acting out,
48:25 go and have a couples therapy session,
48:27 or if you can't afford it,
48:28 'cause I always hedge against that.
48:30 'Cause again, the commenter will be like,
48:31 "Oh, we have therapy, but 200 bucks."
48:32 Okay.
48:33 How about just being kind and candorous to your spouse?
48:37 Sit them down and be like, "I don't like when you do this.
48:40 "I don't like that you're doing that.
48:42 "I don't appreciate that after you're done with work,
48:44 "you go hang out with your buddies."
48:46 Like, talk.
48:47 'Cause then he or she may say, "Well, I don't like that."
48:49 And communication.
48:52 Get the poison out of your body.
48:54 That's another thing I would want.
48:56 Get the poison out of your body.
48:58 That poison, those feelings, you've got to say them.
49:01 Now, if you wait until you're on full tilt
49:04 and you're like, "Mom, you're a fucking piece of shit.
49:06 "You fucked me up."
49:07 That's not gonna be productive.
49:09 Mom's not gonna be like, "Oh, thank you."
49:11 You gotta get into the right place to have these talks,
49:13 and they're not gonna be receptive.
49:14 I haven't been, in my life, when people have come to me,
49:18 it's not a natural, it's hard.
49:20 And I'm very accountable.
49:21 And even for me, it's like, "I don't like that."
49:24 - Yeah, you get defensive.
49:25 - "I don't like that."
49:27 But I've gotten really good at being like, "Mm."
49:30 And I like it.
49:31 And now I really appreciate the feedback.
49:33 And we just all have to go there anyway.
49:37 Accountability and kind, candor communication
49:42 on some of the shit that's inside of you.
49:44 And understanding the following sentence.
49:47 And if you do none of that, I don't give a fuck.
49:50 I'm not your fucking dad.
49:52 You're not my brother.
49:53 You know what I mean?
49:55 I get so mad when people get mad at people
49:57 that are trying to help them.
49:59 Fuck you, okay?
50:01 Knock yourself out.
50:02 Sit in your fucking room and be angry
50:04 for the rest of your life.
50:04 What the fuck do you want?
50:06 Stand on your own two emotional feet.
50:09 I want it for you.
50:09 I will be out here doing shit like this forever.
50:13 Like many, by the way, I'm not special.
50:15 There are many, many, many of thousands of people
50:19 out there navigating, trying to put good shit out there.
50:22 Right? - Yep.
50:23 - And you gotta find the person that does it for you.
50:25 But like, man, complaining is fucking loser shit.
50:30 It's dangerous, it's self-deprecating.
50:33 - Well, self-deprecating could be cute.
50:35 It's self-- - In jest.
50:37 - Yes, in jest, to your point.
50:39 But that's, you know, like,
50:41 but, you know, at least self-deprecation,
50:44 even in jest or in reality,
50:45 there's a level of accountability.
50:47 That's like not loving yourself enough.
50:49 Complaining is, my boss will never let me succeed.
50:53 Are you out of your fucking mind?
50:55 Your boss at a random company?
50:56 There's 87 trillion companies.
51:00 Quit!
51:01 Oh, easy for you to say, Gary, I have a mortgage,
51:03 I have this.
51:03 No, no, okay, so tonight,
51:06 instead of doing whatever the fuck you're doing
51:08 for four hours that isn't what I'm about to tell you,
51:11 go on LinkedIn and email 100 people.
51:14 Update your LinkedIn account.
51:16 Post content about your expertise in financial services
51:19 or in real estate or in bagel making
51:23 and let somebody find you.
51:24 You can do shit. - Yep.
51:26 - You can do shit.
51:27 And I'm not sitting here trying to motivate you.
51:29 This is, I actually get weird when people are like,
51:32 you're motivational.
51:33 I'm like, I'm practical.
51:34 I'm not motivational.
51:36 I'm obsessed with practicality.
51:38 Like, if you hate your job,
51:42 you can either drink alcohol to escape it,
51:46 you can find another loser friend and complain with them
51:49 and be like, (mumbles)
51:51 or you can go home and pound LinkedIn
51:54 until your next job comes that pays you more
51:55 so you can leave.
51:57 Or, and to your point, you can take a self-awareness moment
52:01 and say, what am I doing at my job
52:03 that is keeping me from growing?
52:04 - You're going fucking 301.
52:06 I'm just trying to show them how easy it is to get away.
52:09 Kudos to you.
52:10 You took it up a notch.
52:11 Yeah, or you could be like, why does this?
52:14 Well, maybe because I'm a gossip in the office
52:16 and causing trouble, no wonder fucking boss is mad at me.
52:19 Maybe 'cause, how about this one?
52:21 Maybe because I know that I'm working remote
52:24 for three days a week
52:26 and I'm really only working four hours.
52:28 (mumbles)
52:30 - You fucking full of shit fuckers.
52:32 How about that one?
52:33 Fuck my job.
52:34 I'm like, you don't work.
52:35 What the fuck do you want them to do?
52:36 - Most bosses and leaders, they want their best talent.
52:39 If you're the best, they're gonna move you to the top.
52:41 - And by the way, let's go the other side.
52:43 I know a lot of bosses hold down talent
52:45 that's better than them
52:46 because they don't want them to jump them.
52:48 I know that.
52:48 - Oh, I'm thinking about it as a--
52:49 - I know, I know.
52:50 - Founder.
52:51 - I know, notice where I just jumped in.
52:52 - Sorry, you're right.
52:53 - No, you're like me.
52:55 The only thing you care about is the logo.
52:57 I'm agnostic.
52:58 I don't care if you're my brother-in-law,
52:59 my best friend or somebody I met yesterday,
53:01 whoever can be the best player on the field.
53:03 So I'm gonna win Super Bowls when I buy the Jets.
53:05 I'm agnostic.
53:06 - Remember, I'm going in on you.
53:07 - I got it.
53:08 - You got a spot for me.
53:09 - But you're talking like a founder.
53:10 A lot of these people--
53:10 - You're right.
53:11 - Right?
53:12 - You're right.
53:13 No, you're right.
53:14 I've never been a boss, I'm a founder.
53:15 - And you know this, you've seen it in your organization.
53:16 - Yes.
53:17 - You've seen it.
53:17 I know it right now.
53:18 There are people right now in my company
53:19 that I know are suppressing the person underneath them
53:21 'cause the person underneath them is more talented.
53:23 - I mean, you're right.
53:24 - So there's a lot of things, but in that scenario,
53:26 that person that's being, even if they're right,
53:28 even if they're 100% right, their boss is doing it,
53:30 great, go get another job.
53:33 You can do it.
53:34 You can do it.
53:37 - Well, that was great.
53:39 Now we gotta do quick rapid fire.
53:40 - Let's do it.
53:41 - Three questions.
53:42 - Great.
53:43 - About 30 seconds or less.
53:44 - I gotta answer in 30 seconds or less?
53:45 This might be the biggest challenge of the entire podcast,
53:46 but I'm ready.
53:47 - You gotta stare into camera one.
53:48 - Yes.
53:49 - All right, you ready?
53:50 - Yes.
53:51 - If you had to distill your entrepreneurial journey
53:54 into one key lesson, what would it be?
53:55 - Patience over everything.
53:59 - Where do you see this attention trading future
54:03 evolving the most?
54:04 - Into VR and AR.
54:08 I think the Vision Pro has given you
54:09 a little bit of a preview.
54:11 Technology won't stop now.
54:13 The phone is not gonna be the remote control
54:15 of our lives forever.
54:17 - And last, what is the biggest separator you see
54:20 in the most successful entrepreneurs?
54:22 - They're in it for the game.
54:25 Most of you are chasing the trophy,
54:27 which is the money, which is the car,
54:29 which is the girl, the guy, the vacation, the house.
54:33 No question.
54:34 To me, it's the people that are addicted to the game
54:38 of entrepreneurship that win.
54:39 - Well, man, I wanna thank you for coming on.
54:42 This was awesome.
54:44 I'm a huge fan of your message,
54:45 how you're leading with be kind, empathy, humility,
54:50 those traits that get lost when you start
54:52 to achieve certain levels of success
54:54 and the fact that you hold them so loud and proud,
54:56 you are pushing that forward, you are helping people.
55:00 You don't have to.
55:01 You're in a position in your life
55:02 where you could do whatever the hell you want
55:03 and the fact that you are spending as much effort
55:05 and energy to come on shows like this,
55:07 travel around the world, give back, speak on stages.
55:10 Obviously, you don't need it from me,
55:11 but I wanna say thank you.
55:12 - Thank you, brother.
55:13 - I'm gonna be real quick because we share
55:14 a lot of audiences this way.
55:16 Being kind and compassionate and sympathetic
55:20 doesn't make you any less alpha killer winner.
55:23 If you dissect this podcast,
55:27 we talked a lot about warm and fuzzy
55:29 and I talked about punching Oded Weinstock
55:30 in the fucking face and yelling at parents
55:33 to never again stop a kid from crying in a basketball game.
55:36 Cheer them, don't suck it out.
55:38 You can balance these two energies.
55:40 You could be a fucking killer on the field,
55:43 but a nice person when the game hits triple zero.
55:47 - And I'm up for the pay-per-view.
55:48 - You're up for it? - I'm up for it.
55:49 - Did you grow up wrestling?
55:50 - At Boston College.
55:51 - You know what's so funny?
55:53 Even hearing that, it's crazy how chemicals work.
55:58 Even that that became the logical sentence of like,
56:01 oh shit, you're gonna lose, Gary.
56:03 This is what incredible confidence looks like.
56:07 - You're a Jets fan.
56:08 - Well, the Jets fan part is enjoying losing and the climb.
56:11 I'm talking about delusional confidence.
56:15 My brain goes to like, okay,
56:18 I own a sports agency that has a lot of UFC,
56:22 we rep a lot of people.
56:24 Could I in three months learn enough skills
56:27 to be able to mitigate a very substantial disadvantage
56:31 on paper?
56:32 Yes, I can.
56:33 More to come as we build up the hype for this fight.
56:37 - Pick it up, pick a date.
56:38 - I'm in.
56:39 - I love you, baby. - Thank you for coming on.
56:40 - Thank you for having me. - This was awesome.
56:41 - Thank you.
56:42 - Hey everyone.
56:44 First, I wanna thank all of you for tuning in.
56:46 And if you guys haven't heard about my new book,
56:48 "Relationship Bank Account",
56:50 click the link in the show notes
56:51 or search the title on Amazon.
56:53 This book is packed with all my secrets to success
56:56 in both relationships and life.
56:58 Make sure to pick up a copy
56:59 and if the book helps you on your journey,
57:01 let us know by leaving a review.
57:03 I appreciate all of you
57:05 and can't wait to see you on the next one.
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