Movie
Movie
  • 8 months ago
Transcript
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00:01:56 Did you know that Lawrence Cromwell, the big theatrical producer, is going to call on the president today?
00:02:01 Did I know it? It's the talk of the White House.
00:02:04 Lawrence Cromwell will be here at 11.30. I'm dying to see him.
00:02:08 Do you know that Lawrence Cromwell is the authority on feminine beauty?
00:02:11 A lot of good that'll do you, Angie.
00:02:13 Yeah, I'm in the press room. White House.
00:02:16 Yeah, Lawrence Cromwell. Stand by for a statement.
00:02:20 After he sees the president. Okay.
00:02:23 Well, I've been on the White House hitch of the Secret Service for seven years now,
00:02:26 and it strikes me this guy Cromwell's getting a lot of attention.
00:02:29 Yeah, big New York theatrical shot. Okay.
00:02:31 But you'd think it was Lindbergh just getting back from Paris or something.
00:02:35 You are Mr. Cromwell's, uh...
00:02:37 General Scouts, sir. Dinwiddie's the name.
00:02:40 Justice Dinwiddie of Shringhall, Hertfordshire, England.
00:02:43 By the way, I hope you gentlemen in the press won't find it necessary to refer to me
00:02:47 as Mr. Cromwell's general effect, um, right-hand man.
00:02:52 And to say that I have discovered some of his most brilliant talent.
00:02:56 That's a little bit of information I always keep to myself.
00:02:59 Do all the big theatrical producers have general scouts?
00:03:02 Oh, no, sir. Just Mr. Cromwell and myself.
00:03:06 We're different, you know. So what are the duties of a general scout?
00:03:09 Well, just general... general scouting, you know.
00:03:13 Looking for lovely girls.
00:03:15 Mr. Cromwell's always in the market for... for lovely girls.
00:03:18 Who isn't?
00:03:20 Come on, look out for that plane, boys.
00:03:32 - Watch out for that plane. - Watch out for that plane.
00:03:35 - How do you do, Mr. Cromwell? - Good morning, Mr. Cromwell.
00:03:38 New York Times, Mr. Cromwell. What's the purpose of this visit?
00:03:41 I'm sorry, gentlemen, I have no statement to make at this time.
00:03:43 - Well, surely there's a story. - That's a lovely show.
00:03:45 (all chattering)
00:03:47 Mr. President, may I present Mr. Lawrence Cromwell.
00:03:58 - Mr. President. - Mr. Cromwell.
00:04:00 I have admired your theatrical productions for years.
00:04:03 - Thank you, Mr. President. - Will you be seated, please?
00:04:07 Mr. Cromwell, our country is bravely passing through a serious crisis.
00:04:12 Many of our people's affairs are in the red.
00:04:15 And figuratively, their nerves are in the red.
00:04:19 But thanks to ingrained sturdiness, their faith is not in the red.
00:04:26 Any people blessed with a sense of humor can achieve success and victory.
00:04:32 We are endeavoring to pilot the ship past the most treacherous of all rocks.
00:04:37 Fear. The government now proposes to dissolve that destructive rock in a gale of laughter.
00:04:43 To that end, it has created a new cabinet office, that of secretary of amusement...
00:04:49 whose duty it shall be to amuse and entertain the people, to make them forget their troubles.
00:04:56 Mr. Cromwell, we are drafting you and your splendid talents into public service.
00:05:02 And it is with confidence and pleasure that I offer you the cabinet position of secretary of amusement.
00:05:09 Mr. President, I find it somewhat difficult to express my feelings at receiving this great honor.
00:05:20 I can only say that I accept the portfolio of secretary of amusement.
00:05:24 I shall do my best to merit the confidence you are placing in me.
00:05:28 Gentlemen, secretary Cromwell, these gentlemen of the press have been informed of your appointment.
00:05:32 - Will you give them a moment, please? - Yes, yes, of course.
00:05:34 What's your first move, Mr. Secretary?
00:05:36 Recruiting entertainment from all parts of the world.
00:05:38 How will this entertainment be distributed?
00:05:40 We'll divide America in 48 zones and also include Hawaii, Philippine Islands, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.
00:05:44 What's Mr. Skinfiddle going to do?
00:05:47 Mr. Dinwiddie will be invited to serve as general scout for the department of amusement.
00:05:50 Mr. Skinfiddle, you're a genius.
00:05:52 General scout for the department of amusement.
00:05:54 Mr. Secretary, deeply mindful of the solemnity of the occasion...
00:05:58 I'm deeply mindful of the solemnity of the occasion and...
00:06:02 How many assistant secretaries will you appoint?
00:06:04 Twelve. Radio, drama, motion picture, circus, vaudeville, dancing.
00:06:07 Circus department, Avenue A. See Mr. Wurtzel, please.
00:06:16 First tenor.
00:06:18 Mr. Bagnell on the audition stage.
00:06:21 Just a moment. Mr. Butler has the tenors.
00:06:23 Low voice crooning.
00:06:25 See Mr. Butcher somewhere in the music building.
00:06:30 Mr. Butcher?
00:06:32 Upstage! Upstage, everybody! Upstage!
00:06:39 Look here, Dinwiddie, this sort of thing has got to stop.
00:06:42 Everywhere I go, actors, acrobats, they drive me crazy.
00:06:44 I shall compose an announcement to the...
00:06:46 You saw me on the streets in my car in my home. Now you've got to do something.
00:06:48 I place the burden on your shoulders.
00:06:50 I shall bear with fortitude, sir.
00:06:52 Vigilance, vigilance. That shall be my henceforth watchword.
00:06:55 What shall we have?
00:06:57 I shall have a slogan.
00:06:59 I...
00:07:01 Of course, you know they're counting on Mr. Cromwell and myself...
00:07:03 to pull this country out of the red.
00:07:05 Quite a job.
00:07:07 Am I correct in assuming that over here a fellow gets into debt...
00:07:10 he keeps his accounts in red ink...
00:07:12 That's right.
00:07:13 and when he gets out of debt, he changes them back to black ink?
00:07:16 Yes.
00:07:17 Hence the expression "out of the red."
00:07:19 That's the idea.
00:07:20 Really amusing. I must buy myself some red ink.
00:07:23 Good morning, Mr. Secretary.
00:07:31 Oh, hello, Arthur.
00:07:32 Not much like a New York office, is it?
00:07:34 Well, this is the gingerbread.
00:07:36 The entire first floor is part of the show.
00:07:38 But upstairs we have offices that look like offices.
00:07:40 Gentlemen, I want to impress upon you Assistant Secretaries...
00:07:48 and Miss, uh, what?
00:07:49 Adams. Mary Adams.
00:07:51 You appointed me head of the Children's Division last week.
00:07:54 Oh.
00:07:55 I want to say that the splendid start we now have...
00:08:02 only emphasizes the importance of teamwork and hard work.
00:08:05 Now, remember, the government has appropriated $100 million...
00:08:09 and is allowing 12 months in which the Department of Amusement...
00:08:12 may prove its right to permanency.
00:08:14 Now, gentlemen, this is a pretty tough job...
00:08:17 for there's no telling where undiscovered talent and genius may appear.
00:08:20 Your departments will be flooded with applicants.
00:08:23 And you must see them all, but send only the cream of the lot to me.
00:08:27 Unfortunately, I can't see them all.
00:08:29 Thank you. That's all.
00:08:30 Miss, uh...
00:08:31 Adams.
00:08:32 Yes, I want to see you a moment, please.
00:08:34 Hello? Check this carefully, will you?
00:08:42 West Coast, Zone 36.
00:08:44 One dozen jazz bands.
00:08:45 One gross chorus girls.
00:08:46 One sixth of a dozen masters of ceremony.
00:08:48 Zone 18, girl singers.
00:08:50 Blue singers, two dozen.
00:08:51 Torch singers, four of a dozen.
00:08:52 Boo-boo-ba-doop singers, none.
00:08:54 Okay.
00:08:55 Now, Miss Monroe...
00:08:56 Uh, Adams.
00:08:57 Oh, yes, step here a minute, will you, please?
00:08:59 Something I want to show you.
00:09:01 There's one phase of this amusement campaign...
00:09:03 which I think you ought to understand.
00:09:04 The zone's in...
00:09:05 You're beautiful.
00:09:08 Oh.
00:09:10 Of course I'm not.
00:09:12 What's that?
00:09:13 I said I'm not beautiful.
00:09:15 Young woman, you're talking to Lawrence Cromwell.
00:09:17 Lawrence Cromwell, the world's recognized authority...
00:09:19 on feminine beauty and charm.
00:09:21 You mean to stand there and question my judgment...
00:09:22 on the subject of beauty, do you?
00:09:23 Do you?
00:09:24 Oh, no, no, I won't.
00:09:25 No, but you did question it.
00:09:26 Now, you listen to me.
00:09:27 When Lawrence Cromwell says a girl's beautiful...
00:09:28 she's beautiful, you understand?
00:09:29 That's a very odd thing.
00:09:30 I demand an apology.
00:09:32 Your personality definitely put you in Class 10-A,
00:09:34 Department B, with a double X rating...
00:09:36 in my card index system.
00:09:37 And my system is the preeminent beauty catalog today.
00:09:40 Height, 5'4", weight, 116.
00:09:43 Bust, 34, waist, 26, hips, 36.
00:09:46 Calf, 12 1/2, ankle, 7.
00:09:48 Questioning my judgment.
00:09:50 That is good.
00:09:52 I'm really awfully sorry, Mr. Cromwell.
00:09:55 Never mind, never mind.
00:09:56 Just let it be a lesson to you.
00:09:58 Get my New York office, please.
00:10:01 You're so very busy, Mr. Cromwell.
00:10:03 Don't you think I...
00:10:04 Oh, no, no, no.
00:10:05 Stay where you are.
00:10:06 I have nothing to do.
00:10:07 Yes?
00:10:09 Yes, of course I want London, England.
00:10:10 Our European agent, Morris Feinberg, Savoy Hotel.
00:10:12 Okay, yes.
00:10:13 Now, Miss Jefferson, I'll tell you what I want to take up with you.
00:10:16 Adam.
00:10:17 Oh, yes.
00:10:18 How do you like it here?
00:10:21 Oh, very much.
00:10:22 It's all so interesting.
00:10:23 I think it's going to be much more interesting...
00:10:26 now that you're here.
00:10:27 Oh, I mean, uh...
00:10:28 I mean, with the children and all that.
00:10:29 You love children, don't you?
00:10:31 Yes, I'm crazy about them.
00:10:32 So am I. I used to be one myself.
00:10:34 You rang, Mr. Secretary?
00:10:39 Not to all departments.
00:10:40 Suggestions from employees for improving the service...
00:10:43 of the Department of Amusement...
00:10:45 will be welcomed by the Secretary.
00:10:46 That's all.
00:10:47 Yes.
00:10:48 I have a suggestion to make, Mr. Secretary.
00:10:54 Fine, fine. What is it?
00:10:55 You're working too hard.
00:10:57 You think so?
00:10:59 Positively.
00:11:00 It isn't good for you.
00:11:01 Now, now, this isn't the children's division.
00:11:04 No, I mean it.
00:11:06 You're going all the time, just like I am.
00:11:08 Working all the time, just like a machine.
00:11:10 Seeing hundreds of people daily, losing sleep...
00:11:12 eating sandwiches in your office.
00:11:14 Don't you ever stop for a real meal?
00:11:18 No.
00:11:19 But that's an idea.
00:11:21 Suppose you and I have dinner tonight.
00:11:23 Well, I...
00:11:25 Fine, fine. I'll call for you at 7.
00:11:26 But for heaven's sake, let's select a cafe...
00:11:28 where there's no entertainment.
00:11:29 This is going to do you a lot of good.
00:11:31 You're telling me.
00:11:32 Cancel that last order to motion picture producers.
00:11:35 Yes.
00:11:37 The Eastern Papers.
00:11:38 Look at that.
00:11:41 Look at that.
00:11:42 Wonderful cooperation from the Christmas Adams.
00:11:44 They've been with us from the start.
00:11:45 Oh, I know the department's going to be a tremendous success.
00:11:48 Success?
00:11:49 Why, they're laughing from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
00:11:51 I'm laughing
00:11:53 And I've got nothing to laugh about
00:11:56 So if I can laugh and sing and shout
00:11:58 Bah, so can you
00:12:01 I'm laughing
00:12:03 And I've got reasons to mope and pout
00:12:06 So if I can throw my chest way out
00:12:09 Brother, so can you
00:12:11 Why keep whining
00:12:14 About my silver lining
00:12:17 How's it gonna help me
00:12:18 Where's it gonna get me
00:12:20 Why let my cares upset me
00:12:22 I'm laughing
00:12:24 And I've got nothing to laugh about
00:12:27 If I can laugh, sing, dance and shout
00:12:30 Brother, so can you
00:12:35 I'm laughing
00:12:37 With a dozen kids that I have to feed
00:12:40 So if I can laugh while I'm in need
00:12:43 Sister, so can you
00:12:45 I'm laughing
00:12:51 And there's a mortgage around my neck
00:12:53 So if I can plow and sing
00:12:55 Ha, my heck neighbor
00:12:57 So can you
00:12:58 With grindstone noses
00:13:04 Life is no bed of roses
00:13:08 Love may be our savior
00:13:11 Though we often doubt it
00:13:14 Still we can dream about it
00:13:21 I'm laughing
00:13:24 And I'm out here in the snow and sleet
00:13:26 If I can pound, pound, pound this beat
00:13:29 Brother, so can you
00:13:32 I'm laughing
00:13:35 The sweat pours down till my eyes get blind
00:13:38 But if I can stand this daily grind
00:13:41 Brother, so can you
00:13:44 We're laughing
00:13:51 There's no one buying us fancy meals
00:13:54 And if we can laugh in these round heels
00:13:59 Sister, so can you
00:14:02 The parade is over
00:14:07 It's not a field of glory
00:14:11 I'll make the grade for
00:14:13 The things I've prayed for
00:14:16 My home will soon be paid for
00:14:21 I'm laughing
00:14:23 And if I can laugh when the work is through
00:14:26 Brother, so can you
00:14:31 I'm laughing
00:14:38 And I've got reasons to mope and pout
00:14:40 So if I can throw my chest way out
00:14:43 Sister, so can you
00:14:45 I keep whining
00:14:48 About my silver lining
00:14:51 How it's gonna help me
00:14:53 Where it's gonna get me
00:14:54 Why let my cares upset me
00:14:57 I'm laughing
00:14:59 And I've got nothing to laugh about
00:15:02 If I can laugh, sing, dance and shout
00:15:05 Sister, so can you
00:15:07 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:15:12 Yeah, I'm laughing, I'm laughing
00:15:15 And I've got nothing to laugh about
00:15:18 So if I can laugh, sing and shout
00:15:21 Sister, so can you
00:15:24 I'm laughing
00:15:26 And I've got reasons to mope and pout
00:15:29 So if I can throw my chest way out
00:15:32 Sister, so can you
00:15:34 I keep whining
00:15:36 The better times are coming
00:15:37 The better times are coming, bye bye
00:15:40 The better times are coming
00:15:41 The better times are coming, bye bye
00:15:45 I'm laughing
00:15:47 And I've got nothing to laugh about
00:15:50 If I can laugh, sing, dance and shout
00:15:53 Sister, so can you
00:15:55 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:16:01 Now, Scotty, do you know what your line is?
00:16:03 Yes.
00:16:04 What is it?
00:16:05 For we will fight for the Emperor
00:16:07 For we are the Roman soldiers
00:16:09 That's it.
00:16:10 And then, what do you say to them?
00:16:12 You are the prisoners and we are the soldiers
00:16:15 That's right.
00:16:16 Now get in your positions.
00:16:17 Put your hands on each other's shoulders.
00:16:20 We will fight for the Emperor
00:16:25 For we are the Roman soldiers
00:16:30 We will fight for the Emperor
00:16:34 For we are the Roman soldiers
00:16:39 That's it.
00:16:40 That's fine.
00:16:41 Now you'll all be back tomorrow at four o'clock.
00:16:43 Yes, Miss Adam.
00:16:44 And you'll know your lines perfectly, won't you?
00:16:46 Yes, Miss Adam.
00:16:48 All right, now you've all been very good children today,
00:16:51 so I have a surprise for you.
00:16:52 What is it?
00:16:53 What is it?
00:16:54 Here, help yourself.
00:16:57 Here, Mary Anne.
00:16:58 Thank you, Miss Adam.
00:16:59 Thank you.
00:17:00 [phone ringing]
00:17:02 Yes?
00:17:03 Mr. George Bernard Shaw.
00:17:05 Send Mr. Shaw in.
00:17:07 [laughing]
00:17:21 George Bernard Shaw?
00:17:22 Yes.
00:17:25 You're a little sunburned, aren't you?
00:17:26 Yes, but see, I'm an outdoor man.
00:17:31 All right, get outdoors.
00:17:34 No.
00:17:36 Now, boy, you're going to need somebody to help you here
00:17:38 because your place is so nice.
00:17:40 Hello?
00:17:41 Zone 14.
00:17:42 OK, two dozen orchestras.
00:17:44 Two and a half dozen extra trombone players.
00:17:46 Zone 35, six dozen whirling Arabs.
00:17:48 Fourteen dozen mammy singers.
00:17:49 Right.
00:17:50 Hello?
00:17:51 Have my New York office get the complete score and manuscript
00:17:53 for last night's opening.
00:17:54 Right.
00:17:55 You want to like this place, sir,
00:17:58 all I got to do is just get used to your likes and dislikes.
00:18:04 No.
00:18:05 You somebody who can do shimmy sham, shimmy with words and feet.
00:18:12 No.
00:18:13 Everybody doing it, and I carry this boat so I don't spoil the rug.
00:18:20 See the lingons, did the log fall off,
00:18:25 ripping off with your soul and your fiddle get incognito.
00:18:29 Did it damage the woman built for me,
00:18:31 built for me off of folks like me.
00:18:34 You did that shim sham shimmy easy like that.
00:18:41 I need someone to stand at that door when my secretary's at lunch
00:18:44 to keep the wrong kind of people out.
00:18:45 Can you handle the job?
00:18:46 Yeah, you tell me.
00:18:47 And you wouldn't let anybody get by?
00:18:49 No, sir, nobody can get by now in the office.
00:18:53 Last three years, I just been barely getting by myself.
00:18:57 All right, you're on duty.
00:18:59 All right, nobody can get by.
00:19:02 Nobody can get by.
00:19:04 You say you don't want nobody in here.
00:19:07 I see nobody get by.
00:19:11 Now, he didn't get by me, boss.
00:19:13 I got by him.
00:19:15 That's what I start now.
00:19:21 Without any ifs, ands, or buts, we've got to see to it
00:19:24 that this new department of amusement is a failure.
00:19:26 But why take it so seriously?
00:19:28 Because we've made millions of dollars' worth of contracts
00:19:30 to keep the company going.
00:19:32 And we've got to keep the company going.
00:19:34 We've got to keep the company going.
00:19:36 We've got to keep the company going.
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00:23:20 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:22 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:24 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:26 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:28 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:30 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:32 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:34 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:36 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:38 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:40 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:42 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:44 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:46 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:48 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:50 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:52 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:54 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:56 We've got to keep the company going.
00:23:58 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:00 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:02 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:04 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:06 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:08 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:10 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:12 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:14 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:16 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:18 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:20 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:22 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:24 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:26 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:28 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:30 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:32 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:34 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:36 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:38 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:40 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:42 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:44 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:46 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:48 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:50 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:52 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:54 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:56 We've got to keep the company going.
00:24:58 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:00 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:02 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:04 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:06 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:08 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:10 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:12 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:14 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:16 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:18 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:20 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:22 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:24 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:26 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:28 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:30 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:32 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:34 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:36 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:38 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:40 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:42 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:44 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:46 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:48 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:50 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:52 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:54 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:56 We've got to keep the company going.
00:25:58 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:00 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:02 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:04 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:06 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:08 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:10 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:12 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:14 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:16 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:18 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:20 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:22 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:24 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:26 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:28 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:30 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:32 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:34 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:36 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:38 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:40 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:42 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:44 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:46 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:48 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:50 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:52 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:54 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:56 We've got to keep the company going.
00:26:58 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:00 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:02 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:04 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:06 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:08 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:10 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:12 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:14 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:16 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:18 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:20 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:22 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:24 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:26 We've got to keep the company going.
00:27:28 [music]
00:27:30 [music]
00:27:32 [music]
00:27:34 [music]
00:27:36 [music]
00:27:38 (upbeat music)
00:27:40 (upbeat music)
00:27:43 (upbeat music)
00:27:45 (upbeat music)
00:27:49 (upbeat music)
00:27:51 (upbeat music)
00:27:54 (upbeat music)
00:27:57 (upbeat music)
00:27:59 (upbeat music)
00:28:02 (upbeat music)
00:28:28 (upbeat music)
00:28:31 ♪ Who's that bunch of personality ♪
00:28:36 ♪ I'm presenting her right now ♪
00:28:39 ♪ Baby, take a bow ♪
00:28:44 ♪ Where'd you find that lovely cameo ♪
00:28:47 ♪ I'm presenting her right now ♪
00:28:50 ♪ Baby, take a bow ♪
00:28:53 ♪ Hear them whispering ♪
00:28:56 ♪ Isn't she the sweetest thing ♪
00:28:59 ♪ You're a standout ♪
00:29:01 ♪ She's cute, she's sweet, she's swell, she's grand ♪
00:29:06 ♪ Who's the future Mrs. Hemingway ♪
00:29:10 ♪ Just a minute, ladies ♪
00:29:12 ♪ I'm presenting her right now ♪
00:29:16 ♪ Baby, take a bow ♪
00:29:24 ♪ Everybody's asking me ♪
00:29:28 ♪ Who's that bunch of personality ♪
00:29:31 ♪ I'm presenting you right now ♪
00:29:35 ♪ Daddy, take a bow ♪
00:29:38 ♪ Everybody wants to know ♪
00:29:42 ♪ Who's that great big handsome Romeo ♪
00:29:45 ♪ I'm presenting you right now ♪
00:29:48 ♪ Daddy, take a bow ♪
00:29:52 ♪ Hear them whispering ♪
00:29:56 ♪ Hasn't he got everything ♪
00:29:59 ♪ He's a standout ♪
00:30:02 ♪ Listen to the compliments they hand out ♪
00:30:05 ♪ Let me stand right up and say ♪
00:30:09 ♪ Who's the one brings mother all his pain ♪
00:30:13 ♪ I'm presenting you right now ♪
00:30:16 ♪ Daddy, take a bow ♪
00:30:20 (upbeat music)
00:30:23 (upbeat music)
00:30:25 (upbeat music)
00:30:28 (upbeat music)
00:30:56 ♪ Hear them whispering ♪
00:30:59 ♪ Hasn't he got everything ♪
00:31:02 ♪ You're a standout ♪
00:31:04 ♪ Listen to the compliments they hand out ♪
00:31:08 ♪ Daddy, take a bow ♪
00:31:11 - Let me remind you gentlemen,
00:31:21 that we are members of the Senate of the United States.
00:31:24 Ours is a solemn duty.
00:31:26 The people have entrusted us to watch their affairs
00:31:29 and to carry out the functions
00:31:32 of the government with dignity.
00:31:33 - Hear, hear. - Hear, hear.
00:31:35 - In justice to ourselves and to those who sent us here,
00:31:41 we cannot look lightly upon the activities
00:31:45 of the new cabinet member, Lawrence Cromwell.
00:31:48 - I've already sent him.
00:31:50 - He is squandering millions of the taxpayers' money
00:31:54 to make of this government a caricature.
00:31:57 - Hear, hear.
00:32:00 - He hands out jokes instead of jobs,
00:32:04 buffoonery instead of bacon.
00:32:07 Gentlemen, a sense of humor cannot assert itself
00:32:13 upon an empty stomach,
00:32:15 nor can a nation endure on hollow laughter.
00:32:21 - Right, right. - Absolutely.
00:32:23 - Mr. Chairman, I move that we appoint two gentlemen
00:32:26 from this committee to wait on Secretary Cromwell at once.
00:32:29 - Those in favor say aye, contrary minded, no.
00:32:32 The ayes have it.
00:32:33 The chair appoints Senator Short.
00:32:37 - Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
00:32:38 - And Senator Danforth.
00:32:39 I shall expect a report from you tomorrow.
00:32:44 (men chattering)
00:32:49 - They will get results.
00:32:53 - Of course, we've had our troubles.
00:32:55 But different zones require different kinds of amusement.
00:32:58 For instance, public has improved.
00:32:59 Its sense of humor is thoroughly awake.
00:33:02 Now, if you care to go into this in greater detail,
00:33:04 Mr. Dinwiddie of this office will gladly assist you.
00:33:06 - If it isn't too much trouble--
00:33:07 - Oh, no, no, not at all.
00:33:08 I'll send him right in.
00:33:10 Well, thank you, gentlemen.
00:33:10 If you'll excuse me, I have some very important auditions.
00:33:13 - Go right ahead. - Certainly, thank you.
00:33:14 A reasonable sort of fellow, isn't he?
00:33:21 - Yes, but I don't think you were firm enough with him.
00:33:23 - What's that?
00:33:23 - I don't think you were firm enough with him.
00:33:25 - Oh, you don't?
00:33:26 (gavel bangs)
00:33:30 - That's a sound argument.
00:33:31 We've always been in accord.
00:33:33 - Yes, we were together on the Boulder Dam project.
00:33:35 - And we were together on the Red River Dam project.
00:33:37 - Yes.
00:33:38 In fact, we've been together on every damn project.
00:33:41 - I object to the word every.
00:33:45 (gavel bangs)
00:33:49 (water trickling)
00:33:52 - Everything you say is quite true.
00:33:57 Quite true.
00:33:58 But I still don't think you were firm enough with him.
00:34:00 - Hmm, very interesting.
00:34:02 (gavel bangs)
00:34:07 (gavel bangs)
00:34:09 - We owe to our constituents, our people,
00:34:18 fair and unbiased representation.
00:34:20 I stand here the people's choice.
00:34:22 This is an issue upon which I take a stand.
00:34:25 A grand stand!
00:34:27 (gavel bangs)
00:34:29 I repeat, I stand here the people's choice!
00:34:39 (gavel bangs)
00:34:42 I demand a lower tariff on haywire.
00:34:46 I don't understand.
00:34:48 - I demand a lower tariff on haywire.
00:34:50 - Why you silly...
00:34:52 - After all, we've been together on every project.
00:34:55 I don't see why you shouldn't support me
00:34:57 on a lower tariff on haywire.
00:34:59 If you do support me on a lower tariff on haywire,
00:35:02 then I'll support your demand for a higher tariff on low wire.
00:35:06 The idea is for us to stick together,
00:35:09 or otherwise, we'll never get along.
00:35:11 Ours is a beautiful friendship.
00:35:14 - Yes, I can say that is an amazing friendship.
00:35:16 - I'll go further than that and say
00:35:17 it is a beautiful friendship.
00:35:18 - I can go a step farther than that
00:35:20 and say that is an everlasting friendship.
00:35:22 - I'll go a step further than that and say,
00:35:24 except there isn't anything further.
00:35:25 (gavel bangs)
00:35:28 - In the stormy session of last spring,
00:35:31 who stood by my side?
00:35:33 You!
00:35:35 In the darkest hour of my political career,
00:35:37 who rallied to my support?
00:35:39 You!
00:35:41 Who is closer to me than my right hand?
00:35:43 (gavel bangs)
00:35:46 Who is at my left side?
00:35:48 (stammers)
00:35:49 - I don't understand why you want to end our friendship.
00:35:53 All I ask you to do is support my demand
00:35:55 for a lower tariff on haywire.
00:35:57 - If you do support my demand for a lower tariff on haywire,
00:35:59 I'll support your demand for a lower tariff on everlasting...
00:36:02 - Friendship.
00:36:03 (overlapping chatter)
00:36:06 (gavel bangs)
00:36:14 - What made Pistachio nuts?
00:36:16 - But 16-inch guns do not mean naval supremacy!
00:36:20 - I'm not sure inflation is the best policy.
00:36:23 (gavel bangs)
00:36:27 - Mr. Crumwell seems to be a nice fellow, doesn't he?
00:36:38 - I don't think he gets enough exercise.
00:36:43 - Do you suppose there's anything--
00:36:45 - Between him and Miss Adams?
00:36:48 - I hope so.
00:36:50 - We ought to investigate it.
00:36:53 - That would be fun.
00:36:55 (laughs)
00:37:01 (gavel bangs)
00:37:03 - I say, that's a great act!
00:37:05 We can use you!
00:37:06 Five shows a day!
00:37:08 Opening in Philadelphia tonight!
00:37:09 (laughs)
00:37:10 Shall we go to lunch?
00:37:11 Do you feel like a little fish?
00:37:13 - Perhaps. How about the club?
00:37:15 - Splendid, let's walk.
00:37:17 - I still don't understand why you won't support my demand
00:37:19 for a lower tariff on haywire.
00:37:20 After all, we've been together on every property.
00:37:22 (gunshot)
00:37:25 You know, this is great. This is just what I needed.
00:37:30 Salt air, no telephones, no secretaries.
00:37:33 - I thought it might do you some good.
00:37:35 - Why is everyone so anxious to do me some good?
00:37:37 - Because you've undertaken an impossible task,
00:37:40 Mr. Secretary.
00:37:41 You can't hope for the success of your department
00:37:43 in a lifetime...
00:37:45 much less than your lot of 12 months.
00:37:47 - Oh, I don't know.
00:37:48 Reports from all over the country show excellent results.
00:37:51 - Merely hypodermic.
00:37:52 The best you can hope for is temporary effect.
00:37:54 - Well I'm sorry Mr. Harley, but I disagree with you.
00:37:56 If you manufacturers can sell your product,
00:37:58 your cigarettes, your toothpaste, your cosmetics,
00:38:00 your automobiles, by means of crooners, committees,
00:38:02 and dance orchestras, well then I fail to see
00:38:04 why the government can't sell its idea of good health,
00:38:07 good times, and good cheer through the same medium.
00:38:09 - A fantastic idea.
00:38:11 Mr. Secretary, I've been an interested follower
00:38:13 of your career...a great career.
00:38:16 Your future is still ahead of you.
00:38:18 It pains me to see you give it up.
00:38:20 - Well thanks Mr. Harley for your interest,
00:38:21 but I don't think now is the time to talk about
00:38:22 my department or the career.
00:38:25 - Yes, I did promise you a little rest, didn't I?
00:38:26 - Yes, you did.
00:38:27 - Well just let me say one thing more.
00:38:29 How would you like to be the greatest figure
00:38:30 in the amusement world?
00:38:32 A king in your own domain,
00:38:34 free from political whims and obstacles.
00:38:36 What do you mean?
00:38:36 I mean simply this...
00:38:38 resign as Secretary of Amusement,
00:38:40 and I'll build you a magnificent theater
00:38:42 in every important city in America,
00:38:44 and in time extend them to London and Paris.
00:38:47 - You're not by any chance trying to bribe me, are you?
00:38:50 - Well, I think we can use a prettier word.
00:38:52 Let us say a foundation for artistic achievement.
00:38:55 - Look here Harley, I don't know what's behind all this,
00:38:57 but I do know the only artistic thing to expect
00:38:59 from your gang is an artistic trimming.
00:39:02 - You're passing up a great opportunity, Mr. Secretary.
00:39:05 - Yeah? Well I've gotten where I am today...
00:39:07 by passing up great opportunities.
00:39:10 - Yes, yes, I know, I know, but styles in songs change.
00:39:13 Yes, they do in clothes.
00:39:14 Now we've got to understand that and keep ahead of the times.
00:39:17 One month it's Mammy songs,
00:39:18 another hot songs, or torch songs, or...
00:39:20 Well now the country's crying for hillbilly tunes,
00:39:23 and it's up to us to deliver.
00:39:24 The public must be pleased.
00:39:26 Now if we stick to that, before we're through
00:39:28 we'll make them stand up and cheer.
00:39:30 ♪ Broadway had a rhythm that was fast and furious
00:39:35 ♪ Those Heidi Holm men were real live showmen
00:39:39 ♪ Small towns went right with 'em
00:39:42 ♪ Still they all were curious
00:39:44 ♪ As to what tunes
00:39:47 ♪ Would take the place of Broadway's hot tunes
00:39:49 ♪ And pretty soon there came a showdown
00:39:53 ♪ It was mountain music
00:39:57 ♪ Made Broadway slow down
00:40:00 ♪ Broadway's gone hillbilly
00:40:02 ♪ Daffodil and diamond lily
00:40:05 ♪ All crave an earful of a tearful mountain song
00:40:09 ♪ Broadway's getting moody
00:40:12 ♪ That's the reason Bing and Rudy
00:40:14 ♪ Get along by singing
00:40:16 ♪ Get along little doggie get along
00:40:19 ♪ In all the midnight places
00:40:21 ♪ You'll see those teary dim faces
00:40:24 ♪ Some cowboy's heading for his last round up
00:40:29 ♪ Broadway's weeping fountains
00:40:31 ♪ Getting those moons over mountains
00:40:33 ♪ Broadway's hilly billy silly now
00:40:37 (upbeat music)
00:40:40,
00:40:45 (upbeat music)
00:40:50 (upbeat music)
00:40:55 (upbeat music)
00:41:00 (upbeat music)
00:41:05 (upbeat music)
00:41:10 (upbeat music)
00:41:15 (upbeat music)
00:41:20 (upbeat music)
00:41:25 (upbeat music)
00:41:26 ♪ We'll be singing a heidi heidi when we come
00:41:31 ♪ We'll be singing a ho dee ho dee when we go
00:41:36 ♪ For Broadway's gone hillbilly
00:41:40 ♪ Daffodil and diamond lily
00:41:44 ♪ All crave an earful of a tearful mountain song
00:41:49 ♪ Broadway's getting moody
00:41:53 ♪ That's the reason Bing and Rudy
00:41:56 ♪ Get along by singing
00:41:59 ♪ Get along little doggie get along
00:42:03 ♪ In all the midnight places
00:42:06 ♪ You'll see those teary dim faces
00:42:09 ♪ Some cowboy's heading for his last round up
00:42:17 ♪ Broadway's weeping fountains
00:42:21 ♪ Getting those moons over mountains
00:42:24 ♪ Broadway's hilly billy silly now
00:42:29 (upbeat music)
00:42:37 (upbeat music)
00:42:42 (upbeat music)
00:42:47 (upbeat music)
00:42:52 (upbeat music)
00:42:57 (upbeat music)
00:43:02 ♪ Broadway's gone hillbilly
00:43:05 ♪ Daffodil and diamond lily
00:43:08 ♪ All crave an earful of a tearful mountain song
00:43:13 ♪ Broadway's getting moody
00:43:16 ♪ That's the reason Bing and Rudy
00:43:18 ♪ Get along by singing
00:43:20 ♪ Get along little doggie get along
00:43:23 ♪ In all the midnight places
00:43:26 ♪ You'll see those teary dim faces
00:43:28 ♪ Some cowboy's heading for his last round up
00:43:33 ♪ Broadway's weeping fountains
00:43:36 ♪ Getting those moons over mountains
00:43:38 ♪ Broadway's hilly billy silly now
00:43:43 (upbeat music)
00:43:48 (upbeat music)
00:43:53 (upbeat music)
00:43:58 (upbeat music)
00:44:03 (upbeat music)
00:44:08 (upbeat music)
00:44:13 (upbeat music)
00:44:18 (upbeat music)
00:44:23 ♪ In all the midnight places
00:44:25 ♪ You'll see those teary dim faces
00:44:27 ♪ Some cowboy's heading for his last round up
00:44:32 ♪ Broadway's weeping fountains
00:44:34 ♪ Getting those moons over mountains
00:44:37 ♪ Broadway's hilly billy silly now
00:44:42 ♪ Broadway's hilly billy silly now
00:44:47 - That, gentlemen, is the complete record
00:44:50 of all our efforts.
00:44:52 The work has been gigantic.
00:44:54 And the results, little or nothing.
00:44:58 Oh, but I know far better than you
00:45:01 that our slow progress is not due to any lack of zeal
00:45:03 or effort on your part.
00:45:05 It is due to some phantom forces strangling our every move.
00:45:09 They're spreading discourse and ill will
00:45:11 in the hearts of our people.
00:45:13 I know that some of you gentlemen have brought
00:45:15 to this very meeting letters of resignation.
00:45:17 Now get me clearly, I will not accept those resignations.
00:45:20 How many of you will give me your word right here
00:45:23 to stand by your posts, come what may?
00:45:26 Jenkins, I'm with you.
00:45:29 Bailey. - Count on me.
00:45:31 - I always enjoy a good fight. - That's fine.
00:45:33 - I think you're-- - That's your final word?
00:45:35 - No, sir. I can't believe, Mr. Secretary,
00:45:37 that you don't know what you're asking of these men.
00:45:39 There's a wave of rapidly growing resentment
00:45:41 against the leaders of this department.
00:45:43 That resentment will soon take definite shape against us.
00:45:45 And if you have any regard for the future of the people in this room,
00:45:48 people who have given their utmost to make you a success,
00:45:50 I say if you have any feeling for them, you have but one course,
00:45:53 to close this department immediately.
00:45:55 - Turner, you're through right now.
00:45:57 Will you kindly leave?
00:45:59 And if there are any other weaklings among you,
00:46:01 will you kindly go now?
00:46:03 Friends, I'm grateful for the show of confidence.
00:46:09 I only hope your daring will be rewarded with success.
00:46:13 Come on, let's get to work.
00:46:30 - Larry, you were magnificent.
00:46:33 - You think so?
00:46:37 - What's the matter?
00:46:40 - Well, it was an act. Just an act. - An act?
00:46:42 - Yeah, I was acting every second. I didn't mean a word I said.
00:46:44 - You didn't? But you said--
00:46:46 - I know I said. I said a lot of things.
00:46:48 But you get this, Mary.
00:46:50 Turner's right. The department's doomed. We haven't got a chance.
00:46:52 I didn't want them to know, but I can't run out without telling you.
00:46:54 I'm through. I'm quitting. Do you understand?
00:46:56 - Larry, what's really the matter? This isn't like you.
00:46:58 - Yes, it is just like me.
00:47:00 Me, that you didn't know. Me, that I've been hiding from you.
00:47:02 I tell you, I've stood all I can.
00:47:04 I'm going back to Broadway before it's too late.
00:47:06 - But why?
00:47:08 - Because back on Broadway, I've only the public to please.
00:47:11 Down here, there are senators, congressmen, cabinet officers,
00:47:13 snoopers, investigators, and professional reporters.
00:47:16 And a million and one selfish interests.
00:47:18 I tell you, I'm through. I'm washed up.
00:47:20 - Well, that'll make interesting copy for the newspapers, won't it?
00:47:24 I can see the headlines now.
00:47:27 "Famous producer returns a failure."
00:47:29 "Laurence Cromwell loses his grip."
00:47:31 "Even with the support of the government, the show was just too big."
00:47:35 - All right, I won't go back to Broadway.
00:47:37 I'll quit, but I won't go back. I don't have to.
00:47:39 I've got a little farm up in New England. I'll stay there, away from everybody.
00:47:41 - What will you do there? - Do what?
00:47:43 What do I have to do? What is this mania always to do something?
00:47:45 Maybe I'll just leave.
00:47:47 - You can't run away from yourself.
00:47:49 Wherever you go, you've got to take you with you.
00:47:52 - What does that matter?
00:47:54 - If you quit and run away now, you'll have to spend all the rest of your days with a failure.
00:47:58 And I know you too well to imagine that that would make you anything but utterly miserable and unhappy.
00:48:02 - Well, who cares?
00:48:04 - I do.
00:48:06 - Mary.
00:48:10 Are you in love with me?
00:48:17 - Terribly.
00:48:18 - How much is that?
00:48:21 - Enough to go back to that little farm with you.
00:48:24 - Even if I go or quit her?
00:48:26 - Yes.
00:48:27 Although it'd almost kill me.
00:48:29 You see, I'm proud too.
00:48:33 I wouldn't want to spend all the rest of my life with a failure either.
00:48:38 - Oh, Mary, Mary, there's no sense to all this.
00:48:48 I was going to tell you that I loved you too, but...
00:48:51 - Is it so hard to say?
00:48:53 - It's hard to live up to.
00:48:55 - Then you don't love me.
00:48:57 - The answer is not so simple, Mary.
00:48:59 You see, Mary, I belong in show business.
00:49:03 And show business and a home don't mix.
00:49:06 - Excuse me, Mr. Cromwell, but they're holding that number for you on the audition stage.
00:49:11 Tell them to go ahead without me. Can't you see that I'm busy?
00:49:14 - Do you want me to look at it for you?
00:49:20 - Oh, I don't care.
00:49:22 - All right, Larry.
00:49:26 Larry, whether you're a quitter, slightly insane or ill-tempered,
00:49:34 I love you.
00:49:36 You're the only man I've ever wanted.
00:49:39 And when I want something,
00:49:42 I don't give up as easily as you do.
00:49:48 - I love you.
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