Hollywood Animal — Announcement Trailer
A trailer for Hollywood Animal
Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00 (wind blowing)
00:02 - Mr. Kiss-free, Mr. Gershtein is ready for you now.
00:14 - All right, here I go.
00:15 I'm a walking dead man.
00:17 Time to make it official.
00:18 Tell my mistress her little birdie loves her.
00:21 - Which one?
00:22 - You're next, Benny.
00:26 - Didn't notice.
00:28 - You're not even worried in the slightest, are you?
00:30 When a film isn't ready on time,
00:31 it's the producer Gershtein hangs by the balls
00:33 in town square, not the director, the producer.
00:37 And what do you think happens to the producer
00:39 who derails the police chief's big vanity project?
00:42 - Why should I care if the studio is in bed with the cops?
00:45 I did everything by the book.
00:47 It was the worst plot I've seen in 20 years.
00:49 A law enforcement hero fighting Satan.
00:52 And he ends up marrying his daughter,
00:54 in the wild west, of course.
00:56 But by some miracle, I somehow signed Fink
01:00 to write the script.
01:01 That guy has three Pollocks for a reason.
01:04 He can turn any nonsense into Shakespeare.
01:07 - Who cares about some chicken scratch
01:09 on some stupid paper?
01:10 The police chief just wanted another James Hardwick movie.
01:14 He probably jerks off to his poster
01:16 every Sunday before church.
01:17 - You think it was easy signing Hardwick?
01:20 I had to offer him a juicy contract for three films.
01:23 A driver, a maid, even a fucking European sports car.
01:26 And he still said no.
01:28 - But then how?
01:29 - Monkey brains.
01:30 - I'm sorry, what?
01:32 - Monkey brains.
01:34 My guys followed him for two weeks
01:36 trying to find something.
01:37 It was looking like we just had to ambush the guy
01:40 under a bridge and give him a beating.
01:43 Talks of sensing.
01:44 But then suddenly, in the middle of the night,
01:47 he goes to some underground club
01:49 and asks the owner for a dish of monkey brains.
01:54 He read in a magazine that if you eat--
01:56 - I wanna hear it, not another word.
01:58 You signed that pervert for three films
02:00 and went off to celebrate?
02:01 I mean, well, I'm stuck with him for 95 days,
02:03 14 hours a day.
02:05 He thinks he's a damned Arab sheik.
02:06 Had a bustle of girls drive right up to the set
02:08 for him every morning.
02:10 Once, just once, I called him a donkey's ass.
02:13 And that slime ball got so offended
02:16 that he locked himself in his trailer
02:17 and refused to film anything
02:19 until I knelt in front of him on my knees.
02:22 On my knees.
02:23 And my joists are bad, I can barely tie my shoes.
02:27 - We did our part.
02:28 We even stayed under budget.
02:29 Let Gerstein blow a stack at the guy
02:31 who torched four reels of finished material.
02:34 - Exactly.
02:35 I'll just say it was Stewart who left the kerosene lamp in.
02:38 - I'm telling you for the pimp time, you little cocksucker,
02:42 I don't give a rat's ass,
02:44 who left the fucking lamp on in the fucking editing room.
02:48 So shut your sweet--
02:50 - We're finished.
02:51 Gerstein is gonna gouge out our eyes
02:53 with his letter opener
02:54 and save them as treats for the police dogs.
02:57 - Relax.
02:58 Gerstein can solve any problem.
03:00 He's made deals with the mafia, even did a job for Hitler.
03:03 So I'm pretty sure he can handle some lousy--
03:06 (sirens blaring)
03:09 (upbeat music)
03:12 (upbeat music)
03:14 (upbeat music)
03:17 (upbeat music)
03:20 (film reel clicking)
03:24 [BLANK_AUDIO]