A woman said her £40k wedding 'ruined her life' - after planning the big day proved so stressful that it left her 'broken' and unable to talk about it for three months after.
Lucinda Rose, 39, was thrilled when her partner Ian Brown, 43, popped the big question in January 2023 after 16 months of dating. They booked a venue for September - and Lucinda told Ian she'd plan the whole thing.
But Lucinda's elaborate plan quickly snowballed in a bid to create a 'perfect wedding', inspired by Hollywood films and influencers' Instagram reels. Lucinda found herself booking everything from fireworks and a string quartet to an ice cream van and even a horse and carriage.
Lucinda Rose, 39, was thrilled when her partner Ian Brown, 43, popped the big question in January 2023 after 16 months of dating. They booked a venue for September - and Lucinda told Ian she'd plan the whole thing.
But Lucinda's elaborate plan quickly snowballed in a bid to create a 'perfect wedding', inspired by Hollywood films and influencers' Instagram reels. Lucinda found herself booking everything from fireworks and a string quartet to an ice cream van and even a horse and carriage.
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00:00 My name is Lucinda Rose, I am 39 years old and my wedding ruined my life temporarily
00:14 because it burnt me out to a debilitating level.
00:22 Ian actually didn't want a big wedding at all. He kept saying he wanted us to just elope,
00:28 the two of us, and my original plan was to keep it very small, a maximum of 50 people.
00:34 Then I found the venue and everything sort of spiralled from there because the venue
00:39 could fit a lot more people, but we also wanted a pagan hand-fasting ceremony because that
00:45 was also incredibly meaningful to us.
00:47 I then just started to become obsessed with the finer details. My family were paying for
01:12 the majority of it. They then wanted to invite people that they wanted. It then became, "Okay,
01:17 well if you're having those people, then I'm going to invite the other people that I haven't
01:21 put on the list yet." And so it just became bigger and bigger and bigger.
01:38 We wanted to have it very unique to us, which it did end up being, but making it unique
01:44 meant that all these little details kept popping up and it was like, "Well, I want that too
01:49 and I want that." I just became so obsessed with the details and making it personal that
01:55 the budget went completely out of the window.
01:57 And although I did enjoy the day, I don't feel I was particularly present. I got home,
02:14 I burst into tears, I went to bed and I didn't get out of bed for days. I just, this pure
02:21 physical exhaustion.
02:23 I could function, but my brain just was not working. I could only think of what I had
02:44 to do in that minute. I couldn't respond to messages. I couldn't talk to people. I could
02:49 barely have a conversation with Ian.
02:51 I tried to talk to a couple of people, a couple of friends, and they didn't understand.
03:08 They said, "Oh yeah, the wedding blues. It happens to everybody. It's because you were
03:12 so..." They just dismissed it. We are conditioned to only talk about the good stuff and not
03:18 the bad stuff because the bad stuff is shameful.
03:31 I found a community of people who could relate. It's all about it looking nice and shiny on
03:37 Instagram and not actually the reality. I know that I'm not alone in how I feel. It's
03:42 just that the people around me, they're either not telling the truth or they really don't
03:48 understand.
03:49 I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone.