Who is the Manliest Man at Barstool Sports?
Viva La Stool | Viva La Stool
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:23 Welcome to the first manned kathlon of barstool sports.
00:28 We had to find a great field to do this.
00:32 We have the manliest men of all time.
00:38 The manliest men of all time coming here
00:40 to show you who can be the manliest of men.
00:43 And so, how was that still?
00:45 OK, right now, we're at the kathlon.
00:48 Who's the biggest man in barstool?
00:51 Morning.
00:52 We're ready to roll.
00:53 Ready to roll.
00:55 Ready to roll.
00:58 Me and Stu will be judging to see who the biggest man is.
01:01 They're going to be building, building furniture.
01:04 Yes.
01:04 They're going to be grilling steaks.
01:06 Wow.
01:06 Medium.
01:07 Woo.
01:07 Me and you are going to be judging that.
01:09 We'll be tasting.
01:10 And then third, they're going to be tying three knots.
01:13 Woo.
01:13 The manliest of men.
01:15 I love it.
01:15 And right now, I'm going to introduce you
01:17 to each one of them and show you how fucking manly they are.
01:22 We got Dana Beers.
01:23 Wow.
01:26 Jack Mack.
01:27 Jack Mack.
01:30 B. Ghev, AKA Double Vodka Dimes.
01:34 B. Ghev.
01:36 We have Ken Jack.
01:37 Ken Jack.
01:39 We also have Hubs.
01:42 Hubs.
01:43 Hubs.
01:43 Let's go, yeah, guys.
01:44 And we also, obviously, have the manliest of men, Glennie Balls.
01:49 I'm your favorite, Glennie Balls.
01:54 All right.
01:54 And now, let's see who's the manliest of men
01:57 in the man-cathalon at Barstool Sports.
02:00 Manliest of men at Barstool Sports.
02:04 So, fellas, man-cathalon is starting now.
02:08 How are we feeling?
02:09 Feel good, King Marty.
02:10 Ken Jack's the only one that dressed up as a man, I feel like.
02:13 How do you feel about that?
02:15 Over the top manly was the instruction.
02:16 Was it not?
02:17 You guys are just kind of just regular men.
02:19 B. Ghev, you are a burly man, you would say, right?
02:23 Sure, yeah.
02:23 Would you say that's more of a-- do you
02:25 think you're the manliest in this thing?
02:27 Yeah, being fat's definitely a manly thing for sure.
02:29 I think it is, right?
02:30 Absolutely.
02:30 Yeah.
02:31 The first event, we're going to do teams of three.
02:33 Winning team will get three points each.
02:36 Individual, the losing team gets dog shit.
02:38 One through 10, Ken Jack, what number am I thinking?
02:41 Seven.
02:42 Four.
02:43 You're a captain.
02:44 One more time.
02:46 Hubs.
02:46 Three.
02:47 OK, that was quick.
02:49 All right, so now Hubs and B. Ghev.
02:52 Pick your teams.
02:53 B. Ghev, you go first.
02:54 You pick your first one.
02:55 I'm with Dana.
02:57 Let's fucking do this.
02:58 I want some size.
02:58 I want some size.
02:59 Let's go.
03:00 Size is manly.
03:01 He's the biggest guy.
03:02 I get two?
03:02 Yep.
03:03 Jack Mack.
03:04 Nice.
03:04 And--
03:06 Lenny.
03:06 Oh, yeah.
03:07 I'll take not be Mr. Rowley.
03:08 Ken Jack, I was going to pick you.
03:09 Come on.
03:09 They think Ken Jack is the least manliest in this right now,
03:12 I would say.
03:12 And Ken Jack's fly is down.
03:14 So let's make sure that's--
03:15 That's manly, though.
03:16 That's manly.
03:16 Fly down is manly as fuck.
03:18 Show is on.
03:19 Assembly is ready.
03:22 All right, so everything you need is right here.
03:24 When you want to say you're done,
03:26 I will look at everything and make sure it's all completely
03:29 done.
03:30 All right, go.
03:31 All right.
03:32 All right.
03:32 Let's go, boys.
03:33 All right, we're going to get a couple of keys.
03:35 We've got--
03:36 OK, four, four, two screws, and eight, nine--
03:39 This is ours.
03:39 Eight, nine sandals.
03:40 I think this is easy, right?
03:42 Is it easier if we just build it on a table?
03:47 I think it's way easier to build it on a table.
03:49 We're going to build it on a table.
03:52 What's the thought process here?
03:54 How are you feeling?
03:55 Are you going to be the--
03:56 I'm the gopher.
03:57 I'm not above-- these guys build shit.
03:59 They love it.
04:00 I'm here to help out whatever they need.
04:02 I'm getting the fourth A right here.
04:04 This bad boy out.
04:05 Just keeps muttering words, and it's like, oh, yeah,
04:07 big ass doing something.
04:09 Table on a table is tough, I feel like.
04:11 I feel like it should be on the floor.
04:13 It's going to hurt your back a little bit,
04:14 but it's not good when the first pieces aren't going together.
04:17 Let me just tell you that.
04:18 Well, are we killing them right now?
04:19 Yes.
04:20 They're just figuring out the first pieces upside down.
04:22 So far, if I'm camping, this is the team
04:25 I want to put up the tent.
04:27 I put up tents when we were camping.
04:29 I was a glorious failure.
04:31 My wife would take everything I did down and put it up
04:33 perfectly.
04:35 Is my ass cracked out?
04:37 No, no.
04:37 No ass cracks?
04:38 Your Nike underwear is-- I'm quite sexy.
04:40 I feel aroused.
04:41 I have a woody.
04:42 Oh, he just pulled a knife out.
04:44 Oh my god.
04:46 Oh.
04:48 Manly man Ken Jackson just pulls out a fucking chode knife.
04:53 I think we did it backwards.
04:54 Uh-oh.
04:55 What would you call it?
04:56 Say that.
04:57 I don't know.
04:58 I don't fucking know.
05:02 That would be a disaster.
05:03 Disaster.
05:04 I don't understand what we're screwing.
05:07 Like, what part are we actually screwing?
05:10 OK, we did something wrong.
05:12 Something's astray here.
05:13 Good news is, fellas, I don't think
05:15 they have screwed anything.
05:18 Glennie goes, I don't know.
05:19 I don't know.
05:21 I realize what we're doing wrong.
05:22 We were supposed to screw these in first.
05:24 OK, so Ken Jackson made a mistake.
05:26 But we did do it backwards.
05:26 No, not backwards.
05:27 Not even close to backwards.
05:28 And they are fighting.
05:29 But no, no, no.
05:30 If you say we had to put those first,
05:32 wouldn't that mean we screwed backwards?
05:33 We would definitely need to screw backwards.
05:34 This is like Travis Kelce, Andy Reid.
05:35 We're just figuring shit out, baby.
05:36 Does the other team have an advantage now?
05:39 No, they don't.
05:39 We just need a screwdriver.
05:40 I'm going to cut the fuck out of myself doing this, all right?
05:43 Boys, I think that you have a little bit--
05:45 they might have went upside down.
05:46 So OK.
05:48 Yep, now yours doesn't look good.
05:51 Doesn't look good.
05:52 This doesn't have a hole to screw.
05:55 There's no hole there.
05:56 It's just-- it's closed up.
05:58 What the fuck?
06:00 Need a screwdriver.
06:02 Mr. Host wasn't prepared.
06:04 Host wasn't prepared.
06:05 You guys fucked it up.
06:06 I think they gave you every tool you needed.
06:08 No, they didn't.
06:08 They did not.
06:09 They 100% needed a screwdriver.
06:10 The other team has an extra screwdriver.
06:12 That's all I'm saying.
06:13 It says tool, screwdriver, screwdriver.
06:16 Are they making the same thing as us?
06:18 They need it too.
06:18 Go grab that.
06:19 I have quite lame screwdrivers.
06:21 Go get one.
06:22 Go get one.
06:22 Go get one.
06:23 I have--
06:23 Which one do you want, Ken Jack?
06:25 I have this one.
06:26 Probably this one, right?
06:28 Guys, does this help you?
06:30 Not sure.
06:31 Do you think so?
06:32 No idea.
06:32 It makes no sense what they're doing.
06:34 They're just like-- they're building a bird nest.
06:36 I think theirs is completely different than what
06:37 you guys are doing.
06:38 Look at that.
06:39 I didn't think that was going to work.
06:42 That's like a needle dick.
06:43 If you have a little tiny penis, that
06:45 would be the little teeny penis one.
06:46 But it worked.
06:48 You just never know.
06:49 This is a flu game right now.
06:51 What?
06:51 Bro, I had a hemorrhoid from this weekend.
06:53 Wait, Ken Jack, you have a hemorrhoid at the moment?
06:56 Bro, I had one recently.
06:57 Bleeding.
06:58 Bleeding.
06:59 Like you would not believe.
07:00 I basically just lived with hemorrhoids for like four years.
07:02 What?
07:03 Really?
07:03 All my life, bro.
07:04 What?
07:05 Are you serious?
07:06 Bro, you guys can check that.
07:08 How much does it hurt you?
07:10 It gets bigger and smaller.
07:11 Put some fucking ointment on it.
07:12 Right now, it's pretty light.
07:13 I've been good about it lately.
07:14 I've never had one.
07:15 Stop pushing so fucking hard, guys.
07:17 Hemorrhoids are manly as fuck.
07:19 Mancathalon.
07:20 Anything goes in a mancathalon, by the way.
07:22 Anything.
07:23 Are you London?
07:25 What about this crew?
07:26 You guys have any hemorrhoids?
07:28 No.
07:28 No hemorrhoids.
07:29 All right, that's normal.
07:31 They all have hemorrhoids.
07:32 Fuck.
07:34 Yeah, they're fucked.
07:36 Fuck.
07:37 We're cooked.
07:38 Boy, we've never been more cooked in our lives.
07:40 This is men in crisis mode right now.
07:43 There's no answers.
07:44 There's only problems.
07:46 There's no solutions.
07:47 This is tragic.
07:49 What the fuck are these guys doing?
07:52 What are they doing over here?
07:53 Come back over there.
07:55 Oh my god.
07:57 They're taunting them.
07:58 What a bunch of bums.
08:00 I'm going to tell you right now, I can't even make this exciting
08:02 because the other team is inept.
08:03 They have no-- there's just no fighting them.
08:06 They're dropping things.
08:07 They're not even talking.
08:09 It's crazy.
08:10 All right, enough, enough, enough.
08:11 You're not even building it.
08:12 You're not even fucking building it.
08:13 He's like, oh, look at this.
08:15 I know how to play the game.
08:16 They're in shambles.
08:17 You know?
08:19 Fuck you.
08:22 I just fucking saw it.
08:23 You know, we probably should have done on this table.
08:25 You know what I'm thinking?
08:26 Is the table backfiring?
08:27 Because all the things are falling through.
08:28 No, all right.
08:29 It's not--
08:31 All I know is--
08:32 fuck.
08:34 OK, we just lost a crucial piece.
08:36 It's right below the seat.
08:37 Back left, back left leg.
08:38 I think my ass is out, so nobody get a shot at it.
08:41 No, that's-- plumber's crack is manly.
08:42 I'll block it.
08:43 I'll block it.
08:43 I'll block it.
08:44 Hey, that's a real teammate move,
08:46 blocking the plumber's crack.
08:48 This is out again, dude.
08:50 Where'd it go?
08:50 It's right in here.
08:51 It went in.
08:52 I couldn't see it.
08:53 It's right in here.
08:53 Dude.
08:55 It's gone?
08:57 Where are the holes?
08:58 I could have sworn there were holes.
09:00 Where'd the holes go?
09:02 This is not easy.
09:04 I'm not going to say it.
09:05 Whoever designed this is an asshole.
09:06 It's not-- definitely not easy.
09:08 Unless they're a sponsor.
09:09 All right.
09:10 Fuck yeah, dude.
09:11 That's why we were fucking up.
09:13 All right.
09:14 You're a genius, Ken Jack.
09:15 Oh, let's fucking go.
09:17 Let's go.
09:18 We're money.
09:19 This is a mess.
09:19 This is a mess.
09:20 It's a mess.
09:21 Look at this.
09:22 It's broken.
09:23 We lost the screw.
09:24 Where'd the screw go?
09:25 Screw's inside.
09:26 What, dude?
09:27 Where's the instructions?
09:29 We don't want it.
09:30 You know, let's just make one drawer.
09:32 Yeah.
09:32 Yeah, you know.
09:33 Let's get a knob on it.
09:34 Yeah, I want a knob on it.
09:35 Moral victories.
09:36 We'll bring a drawer home.
09:37 I hear them talking moral victories over there.
09:39 What a joke.
09:40 Look at this.
09:41 I'm just chipping wood away.
09:43 Like the fucking alpha male that I am.
09:47 All right, boys.
09:48 Maybe a little slide in to end it.
09:50 You got it, Dana.
09:52 Boom!
09:53 Boom!
09:54 What's up?
09:55 All right.
09:56 Listen.
09:57 That was-- a lot--
10:00 a lot happened there.
10:01 But look at this beautiful, beautiful table.
10:05 Everybody get a piece.
10:06 Everybody get a piece.
10:08 Everybody get a piece.
10:09 What's your team name?
10:10 What do you want to call your team name this time?
10:12 Burley boys.
10:13 The Burley boys.
10:14 The Burley boys got theirs on stool.
10:16 Let's see if it actually works.
10:18 Let's put a little book in there.
10:21 Great book, by the way.
10:23 Woo!
10:24 Boom!
10:25 Beautiful.
10:25 Wow.
10:26 Wow.
10:27 Works.
10:27 It works.
10:28 It works.
10:28 It works.
10:29 Yes.
10:30 OK.
10:30 It was very close.
10:31 I would like you to now try and put the book in theirs.
10:35 Very funny.
10:37 Listen, we just ran out of time.
10:39 This time, you all--
10:41 You guys just didn't do anything.
10:43 I mean, I love Glennie, but this is what you get
10:45 when you live in your basement your whole life, you know?
10:48 I'm not going to fucking say it.
10:49 I live with my fiance's parents.
10:52 But I had six years in between I lived alone.
10:54 I did some manly shit.
10:56 All right, so three points to all of you
10:59 guys individually.
11:01 Zero for you guys.
11:02 You're not out of it.
11:03 We're all breaking up into individual people.
11:06 No teams anymore.
11:08 Now it is all up to you guys.
11:09 We have two more events.
11:11 Two more.
11:11 So now we are going on to the second event.
11:15 Shall I show you making a burger steak?
11:20 The next event, we're making steaks, fellas.
11:24 Making steaks.
11:25 Nothing manlier than having this piece of steak in your hands
11:28 while everyone's enjoying your backyard
11:31 and putting it on the grill.
11:33 You have to make it medium rare.
11:36 We want it just like how a man would take it.
11:38 A little more than a little lip of king.
11:40 Pause, pause, pause.
11:41 That was crazy.
11:41 Just how a man would take it?
11:43 I don't know.
11:43 Hey, yo.
11:44 I don't know about that.
11:45 That was a pretty bad pause.
11:47 Anyway, where all of you at the same exact time
11:50 will be cooking.
11:52 All right, first place, 10 points.
11:54 Second place, six points.
11:55 Third place, four points.
11:56 Fourth and fifth both get two points.
11:58 Sixth and seventh get nothing.
12:00 So you can be in this right here.
12:02 How do we feel about it?
12:03 How's the cooking skills from everybody?
12:06 I'm pretty excited about it.
12:07 You cook a lot.
12:07 I cook a lot.
12:08 The only problem is that we are in 43 weather right now.
12:10 We're at an outdoor grill.
12:11 So it's going to be tough to maintain the temperature
12:13 that we want.
12:14 But I am thrilled about it.
12:15 It should be very, very fun.
12:16 How you feeling?
12:17 I'm like Paulie.
12:18 I usually just sit down and eat the meal.
12:20 I don't cook at all.
12:21 Literally never, ever.
12:23 You've never cooked in your life?
12:24 Grilling might be the only thing I have done once or twice.
12:27 Grilled a couple of dogs.
12:28 A couple of burgers.
12:29 Literally.
12:30 No, I don't cook at all.
12:31 I love it.
12:32 You don't grill.
12:33 Well, no.
12:34 I've been being mean to you today.
12:35 But like, what, this guy's going to be the king of palates?
12:38 He's probably quite the meat eater.
12:40 Let me tell you something.
12:41 You eat disgusting.
12:43 I don't have a good palate.
12:44 But I'm not the judge.
12:45 That's why I told you this.
12:46 I have eaten at Peter Luger.
12:47 I have eaten at Spock Steakhouse.
12:49 I have eaten at Smith & Wensky's.
12:50 I have eaten Blackstone's.
12:52 I've toured the world and had the best steaks in the world.
12:55 I've dropped 2,000 to 10,000 at steak places.
12:58 My palate is ready to roll.
13:00 There you go.
13:01 Trust him, not you.
13:02 Hey, Stu.
13:02 Can I just say you look really handsome?
13:03 This is the most complaining crew I've ever seen.
13:05 Thank you.
13:06 They complain about everything, Stu.
13:08 All right, so who wants to fucking moisten theirs up first?
13:13 The steak is from a cow in Iowa that was flown by Dave
13:20 Fortnoy in a private plane.
13:22 Thank you, David.
13:23 Hubs has no idea what he's doing.
13:26 I'm going to be honest.
13:27 I don't know what I'm doing.
13:28 Real man on a piece of red meat, salt and pepper only.
13:33 Fucking Ginzo's going all garlic pepper.
13:34 Bad move.
13:35 Rookie mistake.
13:36 What?
13:37 I didn't say anything.
13:38 What did you say?
13:38 I didn't say anything.
13:39 Tell me again.
13:40 That's why you don't trust the Italians with this type of
13:42 thing.
13:43 It is a New York strip.
13:47 Even though it's from Iowa, it had sex in New York, New York
13:52 strip.
13:54 Oh, we got prime real estate, Ballsy.
13:57 Just keep in mind, that one's mine.
13:58 Do not--
13:59 I'm not touching your steak, Ken Jack.
14:01 You can smell the ingredients from here just
14:06 rising into the air.
14:09 It smells fabulous.
14:10 It's amazing.
14:11 I'm starving.
14:12 Set timer for three minutes, 30 seconds.
14:16 What the fuck was that?
14:16 That was not manly whatsoever.
14:18 Well, if I had--
14:19 Let me tell you something.
14:20 If I see the guy on the grill being like, tell me three
14:23 minutes and 30 seconds.
14:24 Then I know I'm doing it right.
14:26 You are, but--
14:26 Yeah.
14:27 Being man, I don't know--
14:29 is Siri manly?
14:31 Oh, mine is gross.
14:33 Yeah, Dana's looks great.
14:35 Mine looks like a shoe.
14:36 I'm a little nervous, to be honest, to eat them.
14:38 You're getting salmonella, no question.
14:40 Yeah.
14:42 Ugh.
14:43 [LAUGHTER]
14:44 That's crazy.
14:46 Wow, Hubs is looking fucking good.
14:47 Hubs looks really good.
14:49 Remember, it's medium rare.
14:51 Marty's asking for medium rare, which I think
14:53 odds on none and never.
14:55 He's done?
14:59 Oh, wow.
15:00 Whoa.
15:01 Uh-oh.
15:02 Wow.
15:02 Wow.
15:03 First off the grill.
15:04 Guys, mine is unbelievable.
15:13 I can smell it.
15:13 It's perfect.
15:15 I think I'm going to win this one.
15:17 I think we got a couple of premature ejaculators
15:19 over here.
15:20 People have prematurely pulled them off.
15:23 OK, Dana's is off.
15:24 Dana's is off.
15:25 Ev's has been cooking.
15:27 Glenn's looks pretty fucking good.
15:30 It's a grill mark.
15:34 It looks like it's an apple.
15:35 He's going to--
15:35 [LAUGHTER]
15:37 Wait, is Ev still on the grill?
15:39 Dude, it seems impossible.
15:40 That thing's going to be black.
15:41 It seems impossible he's on the grill.
15:44 It's been 15 minutes, dude.
15:47 I'm just so afraid of it just being raw.
15:50 Is Big Ed still on the grill, bro?
15:52 Yo, this is like a prank or something.
15:54 What's he doing?
15:57 So Ev, what's the strategy of being
15:59 on the grill for 45 minutes?
16:01 I just--
16:02 It's black.
16:03 No.
16:04 I think I needed--
16:05 I definitely needed more time.
16:06 I think it's good right now.
16:07 OK.
16:08 I think we're going to go with that.
16:10 All right, we have our six steaks.
16:13 We're going to do number one right now, right?
16:14 Number one.
16:15 And we're going to cook it.
16:16 We're going to get it right down the middle
16:18 to see the temperature.
16:19 First of all, let's see what it looks like.
16:22 That's good.
16:23 Very nice.
16:23 That's not bad.
16:25 No, that's--
16:26 That's pretty--
16:27 That's a medium rare.
16:28 --medium rare right there.
16:29 That's a nice-- that's nice.
16:31 You take that side right there.
16:32 OK.
16:33 OK, that's a good pink right there.
16:36 All right, still?
16:37 Fabulous.
16:38 Fabulous.
16:39 Number one?
16:40 Number one.
16:40 That's amazing.
16:45 Wolfgang Puck has nothing on this.
16:48 Whoa.
16:49 That's a juicy bag.
16:50 It's cooked to perfection.
16:52 That's unbelievable.
16:54 We'll just give-- let's give it a rating right now.
16:55 A 1 through 10, 9.4.
16:58 I'll go 9.2.
16:59 All right, so number two now.
17:00 This is number two.
17:02 Number two.
17:03 That's more like a medium.
17:04 It's not bad.
17:11 It's a little dry.
17:12 Touch dry.
17:13 I did 9.2, so we go like--
17:15 I go like a 7.
17:16 That's like a 7.
17:16 7.
17:17 OK, we know where we're at there.
17:18 That's not horrific.
17:19 It's OK.
17:20 Now, which one is this one?
17:22 Three.
17:23 OK.
17:24 Hypothetically big ass.
17:25 Yikes.
17:26 OK.
17:27 Yeah, that's just--
17:28 That's-- that's--
17:29 That's burnt.
17:30 Yikes.
17:30 No, no, this is bring back to the chef,
17:32 never go to the restaurant again,
17:35 and you immediately go to your Yelp review and torch it.
17:39 That is dog shit.
17:40 Fair enough.
17:41 Thanks, Kip.
17:46 God, that is horrible.
17:49 All right, so what's the lowest you can rate it?
17:51 Like a 5?
17:52 Zero.
17:53 That's a negative.
17:54 That's negative.
17:55 I mean, I'm not going to go with zero because I--
17:57 Because I--
17:57 I have to eat the next one.
17:58 That was so bad.
17:59 All right, three.
18:00 No, no, no, no.
18:01 That's-- that's zero.
18:02 You want to make it a zero?
18:03 Yeah.
18:04 That's--
18:05 Stu, you know that's bad.
18:07 All right, so you made it a zero.
18:08 I made it-- how about a 1 and 1/2?
18:09 1 and 1/2.
18:09 We'll go in the middle.
18:10 All right.
18:11 OK.
18:12 Here's four.
18:13 OK, this one, not great.
18:15 No, it's medium.
18:17 Yeah, no, this is just great.
18:18 This is like a body count of like 100.
18:21 You know what I'm saying?
18:22 There's no pace there.
18:24 No, that's not good.
18:28 So what are we making this, like a five?
18:30 Yeah.
18:31 Four?
18:32 This is five.
18:32 OK, here we go.
18:33 This might have potential here.
18:34 Uh-oh.
18:35 Oh, oh.
18:36 Oh, that's rare.
18:37 That's just not cooked.
18:39 That's rare.
18:40 Fuck.
18:40 That's not cooked.
18:42 That's--
18:43 I'm not eating that.
18:43 That's--
18:44 That's just burnt black and blue.
18:45 That is--
18:46 We're bringing that back.
18:48 You know what?
18:49 That's-- this is better than that.
18:50 Much better.
18:51 This is-- this is the worst one.
18:52 This is the worst one.
18:53 Worst one.
18:53 I don't know what that is.
18:54 They tried to--
18:55 who tried to fucking kill us?
18:58 This is just dead.
19:00 What is that?
19:01 Let's go.
19:02 Let's go.
19:02 This is--
19:03 So that's the worst.
19:04 That's the worst so far.
19:05 It's not even close.
19:06 Uh-oh, another well-done one.
19:08 You could see how dry it is.
19:11 Look at that sucker.
19:12 That's just--
19:13 Not terrible.
19:20 No, it's not that bad.
19:21 Not terrible.
19:22 This is like the type of one that you
19:23 don't put the lights on.
19:24 I think this is easy still.
19:26 Number one is won.
19:27 First place.
19:28 No two ways about it.
19:29 Who is number one?
19:31 Cubs.
19:32 Cubs.
19:32 Fantastic steak.
19:33 Redemption story of Cubs.
19:34 Wow.
19:35 Wow.
19:36 Big time.
19:37 That big time.
19:37 Let me tell you something.
19:38 I just had the third piece.
19:39 Last place.
19:40 Who was last?
19:41 I had-- I'm the last.
19:41 Jack.
19:42 You tried to kill us.
19:44 I didn't know.
19:45 I-- I needed a thermometer.
19:46 It's like--
19:48 The results of the steak contest we
19:50 have in first place, Hubs.
19:53 Second place, Glenny.
19:54 Third was Kenjack.
19:56 Fourth was Dana.
19:58 Fifth was Big Ev.
19:59 And in sixth place with the goose egg
20:02 was Jack Back as he tried to absolutely kill the judges.
20:07 So standings after this two rounds so far right now.
20:10 We have Hubs with 10 points.
20:13 Second place is Kenjack with seven points.
20:16 Third place, Glenny with six points.
20:19 Fourth place is Dana with five points.
20:22 Fifth place is Ev with three points.
20:24 And sixth place is Jack Mack with zero.
20:28 So now let's see how things shake out
20:30 as we move into the final round.
20:32 Challenge three, tying knots.
20:38 All right.
20:39 Third and final event of the Mankathwan.
20:42 So we're tying knots.
20:44 There's three different knots.
20:45 I don't know the names of them.
20:46 One's an Ashley knot.
20:47 This is the Ashley knot.
20:49 The Ashley stopper knot.
20:51 Then we have the double dragon loop.
20:55 No chance anyone's doing--
20:57 with instructions, I don't know how the fuck anyone
20:59 would do this.
20:59 Looks like a dick.
21:00 And this is a bowline.
21:03 Who the fuck-- who's naming this shit?
21:05 Anyway, you have three knots to make.
21:09 I don't think this is manly, but everyone in the world
21:11 thinks this is fucking manly.
21:13 You got all the links?
21:14 Everyone have any questions before we start?
21:16 Start.
21:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
21:21 Ken Jack seems like he has it kind of.
21:32 This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
21:35 This is impossible.
21:38 The second step is just completely
21:40 different than the first step.
21:42 Oh, oh, Ken Jack.
21:43 Oh, oh.
21:44 Do you have it?
21:45 Which one is it?
21:46 The--
21:47 Ashley.
21:48 This one, right?
21:48 Correct.
21:49 That's correct.
21:50 [CLAPPING]
21:51 Right?
21:52 What?
21:52 Yeah, that's correct.
21:54 What's the time on that?
21:55 Three minutes?
21:56 Look at that, Ken Jack.
21:58 I mean--
21:58 Make a bite.
21:59 What the fuck is a bite?
22:01 Is this one?
22:01 Oh, let me see.
22:02 Double dragon.
22:03 That looks correct, Glenn.
22:05 Glenn has a double dragon.
22:07 Oh.
22:08 The Ashley stopper?
22:08 Whoa.
22:09 Yeah, I'm going to go-- that's correct.
22:11 Bigger!
22:12 Big from the clouds!
22:14 Bigger!
22:15 Bowline?
22:16 Bowline?
22:17 That's correct.
22:18 Just the bowline?
22:19 That's an Ashley stopper, Glenn.
22:21 I got it.
22:22 I got double dragon.
22:23 I'm also done with double dragon.
22:24 Double dragon.
22:25 Suck my cock.
22:27 All right, well, Ken Jack won.
22:28 [LAUGHTER]
22:29 But the points for the other one--
22:31 No, yeah, that was still going.
22:32 Ken Jack is-- he won.
22:34 OK, wait.
22:35 This is the bowline.
22:36 Bowline?
22:37 Good.
22:38 Bowline, Ev, impressive.
22:39 Bowline?
22:40 Actually, he did it.
22:41 No.
22:42 That's-- no.
22:44 What's that?
22:45 Oh, it fell apart.
22:46 Fuck, I was so close.
22:46 Is this the Ashley stopper?
22:48 That's the Ashley stopper.
22:48 You've already done the Ashley stopper.
22:50 No, I did the bowline.
22:51 I did double dragon, bowline, Ashley stopper.
22:53 Now I'm done.
22:54 Can I see them all?
22:56 Yeah.
22:57 OK, Glenn's in second.
22:58 Glennie.
22:59 Glennie.
23:01 Glennie put on a good show.
23:02 Double dragon loop?
23:03 Yeah.
23:04 No, you're right.
23:05 Did I come in third?
23:06 Ev?
23:07 Ev's third?
23:08 Yep, sure.
23:09 That's good.
23:10 You guys did this faster than I thought.
23:13 Not really sure.
23:14 Like, that's it.
23:15 I'll accept it.
23:17 Jack Mack is going for the triple crew snag.
23:20 Yeah, Tony Snell.
23:21 Tony Snell.
23:22 Oh, no.
23:23 Three hours.
23:24 Three hours played, zero points.
23:27 I think Jack's just hoping someone finishes soon
23:29 so he doesn't have to finish.
23:33 Sure.
23:33 Dana has finished.
23:35 All right, boys.
23:36 Done.
23:37 You're the man capital.
23:37 The man capital.
23:41 Are you still mad at me as a host?
23:43 You still mad?
23:44 Somebody has a host, you know?
23:45 There you go.
23:46 There you go.
23:47 A plus plus.
23:48 Wow.
23:49 A plus plus.
23:50 Give it up for the host.
23:51 Oh, yeah.
23:51 Give it up for the host.
23:52 So all three events have concluded.
23:56 We're going to go through our standings right now.
23:59 In sixth place and put up a Tony Snell three hours,
24:04 zero points, Jack Mack.
24:07 Thank you.
24:07 Thank you.
24:10 Anything to say about putting up a booster?
24:13 Hopefully I'm not relegated.
24:15 If I'm not, I'll be back next year with a smile on my face
24:17 and ready to go.
24:18 Hey, you know what relegation means to the man capital?
24:21 What's that mean?
24:22 No.
24:23 No, no, no, no, no, no.
24:25 That's crazy.
24:26 Oh.
24:28 No, no, no, no, no, no.
24:30 No, no, no, no.
24:31 Absolutely not.
24:33 No one really cares about fourth and fifth,
24:34 but they did great.
24:36 Dana, you had a little bit of a downfall.
24:38 You start off with three points.
24:40 Your steak wasn't great.
24:41 Well, my steak was cold by the time you ate it.
24:43 So that's my excuse.
24:44 Everyone was the same exact one.
24:45 That's OK.
24:46 Excuses McGee.
24:48 Ev, you kind of had a little bit of a resurgence
24:50 after your hockey puck came out.
24:53 Listen, I should have got points for the hockey puck.
24:55 My steak wasn't the worst.
24:57 Third in this, not bad.
24:58 Not bad.
24:59 Had a little comeback.
24:59 But you guys, fourth and fifth place.
25:01 Third place is Hubs.
25:04 Unbelievable steak.
25:05 Unbelievable steak.
25:07 That was great.
25:10 The highlight of the event.
25:13 Second place, Glennon Foles.
25:15 Yeah.
25:18 Good for you.
25:19 One of the manliest men at Barstool Sports.
25:22 And first place, the one guy who listened to the instructions,
25:27 who dressed up like a man.
25:30 A man.
25:32 Ken Jack, first place.
25:34 17 points.
25:36 How do you feel winning this one, Ken Jack?
25:39 I feel happy.
25:40 I'd like to thank you for making me the last pick in the NYC content draft.
25:44 You're welcome.
25:45 We used my idea, and we used my suggestion, and we used this.
25:47 I feel like you're the GM of the century.
25:49 Yeah, you're welcome.
25:50 Thank you, Stu.
25:51 Thank you, Stu.
25:53 Thank you, Stu, for Stu's house.
25:55 Thank you, Stu, for the house.
25:57 This is a man's house.
25:59 You know, there's a manly-- look where we're at.
26:01 You know, this is just man shit around here.
26:03 All right, everybody, thank you for doing this.
26:08 And what does the loser have to do, boss?
26:11 Nothing, nothing.
26:13 That was a joke.
26:15 All right, that's the man catalog.
26:17 Thank you, everybody.
26:19 Here's the bottom line.
26:22 Whether you're a great lover or a horrible lover, if you do this,
26:27 you're the best lover she'll ever have, OK?
26:30 15 minutes [BLEEP] 15 minutes [BLEEP] 30 minutes [BLEEP]
26:36 You can't hold your load.
26:38 Bring a vibrator.
26:40 And specifically, the vibrator that I recommend is the one that has [BLEEP]
26:47 and the mouse has a [BLEEP]
26:50 It has a separate control.
26:52 [BLEEP]
26:56 And that goes against the [BLEEP]
27:04 Double stimulation.
27:06 (whooshing)
27:08 [BLANK_AUDIO]