An ill-behaved, lovably scruffy painter, Gulley Jimson, searches for a perfect canvas, determined to let nothing come between himself and the realization of his exalted vision.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [Music]
00:00:24 [Music]
00:00:39 [Music]
00:00:59 [Music]
00:01:14 [Music]
00:01:26 [Music]
00:01:30 [Music]
00:01:32 [Horn]
00:01:34 [Engine noise]
00:02:02 And good riddance to bad rubbish.
00:02:05 Mr. Jimson, it's me, N-Nosy. Don't you remember me?
00:02:13 No, I don't.
00:02:15 But you must, Mr. Jimson. You've only been inside a month.
00:02:19 I looked after all your things, Mr. Jimson, while you were in pre-pre-jail.
00:02:24 They broke all the windows, but I boarded them up.
00:02:26 The picture's all right, Mr. Jimson, except for some bullet holes.
00:02:29 Go away, scram. Tie lead weights to your feet, fireworks in your hair, kiss your mother goodbye, and jump in the river.
00:02:35 I don't know you. I don't want to know you. Buzz off. Explode.
00:02:41 You're not well, Mr. Jimson. I want to help you. You're a genius.
00:02:46 [Telephone rings]
00:02:47 Everyone says so. You must let me help you and learn from you.
00:02:51 You again? What now?
00:02:53 Officer, I'm being menaced by a dangerous youth.
00:02:55 He thinks I'm Michelangelo or Rembrandt or Van Gogh or Picasso.
00:02:59 I'd be safer inside. Take me back.
00:03:01 Take you back? Not in a thousand years.
00:03:04 I'll paint you a great wall, the most exciting and beautiful thing you've ever seen.
00:03:08 Don't think the governor would approve.
00:03:10 Well, then lock up this dreadful youth.
00:03:12 You'd better get hold of the police.
00:03:16 Now see what you've done. Caught me locked out for life.
00:03:24 I am sorry, Mr. Jimson. I only want to help.
00:03:28 I want to see you a citizen recognized by society.
00:03:32 Look, I've saved three and a tenner for you from my paper round.
00:03:36 Keep it.
00:03:38 No, Mr. Jimson. You mustn't. Not that again.
00:03:42 Artering threats down the telephone and filthy words.
00:03:44 That's what landed you in trouble before, Mr. Jimson.
00:03:46 You mustn't do it. I shan't let you.
00:03:48 I've only popped in to press button B.
00:03:50 Never miss an opportunity of pressing button B.
00:03:53 Do you really want to help me, Nosy?
00:03:55 Of course I do, Mr. Jimson.
00:03:56 Well, add one and five minutes to that and give me some cigarettes.
00:03:59 If I do, you promise you won't phone Mr. Hickson?
00:04:01 I promise.
00:04:03 I never know when I can trust you.
00:04:05 You're a good boy, Nosy. You'll never be a great artist, but you're a good boy.
00:04:08 Give me some cigarettes.
00:04:11 [whistling]
00:04:13 Hey, Mr. Jimson!
00:04:25 My bike! Bring it back! My bike!
00:04:31 Stop thief!
00:04:33 Stop thief! Stop thief!
00:04:36 Stop thief!
00:04:38 Stop thief!
00:04:40 Stop thief!
00:04:42 Stop thief!
00:04:44 No, no, no. It's all right.
00:04:48 He's not a thief. He's a friend of mine.
00:04:51 You've started yelling "stop thief" at innocent people.
00:04:55 I never did. I...
00:04:56 Then you'll find yourself in hot water.
00:04:58 Now be off with you and pull your socks up.
00:05:00 [music]
00:05:02 [whistling]
00:05:23 Don't hurry away. Stay to lunch.
00:05:27 [whistling]
00:05:55 That's a real foot.
00:05:57 No one ever painted a foot like that before.
00:06:00 It's a leggy leg, all right.
00:06:03 But that leg could talk, you would say.
00:06:06 I walk for you. I run for you.
00:06:10 I kneel for you.
00:06:14 But I keep myself respectful.
00:06:17 That's it.
00:06:22 That's where it went wrong.
00:06:25 A white eye, that's the feel of it.
00:06:28 [footsteps]
00:06:30 [clattering]
00:06:34 [clattering]
00:06:39 Ow.
00:06:41 [clattering]
00:06:49 [clattering]
00:06:51 [clattering]
00:06:53 [clattering]
00:06:57 [clattering]
00:06:59 [clattering]
00:07:05 [music]
00:07:09 [phone ringing]
00:07:24 Mr. Hickson's house?
00:07:26 Hello?
00:07:27 May I speak to Mr. Hickson, please?
00:07:29 Who shall I say?
00:07:31 The president of the Royal Academy.
00:07:33 Will you please hold the line, sir?
00:07:35 [knocking]
00:07:38 The telephone, sir. The president of the Royal Academy.
00:07:51 Hickson speaking.
00:07:53 This is the president of the Royal Academy.
00:07:57 I understand you are in possession of...
00:08:00 He's out again, Robert. Stand by the other phone.
00:08:02 We may need the police.
00:08:04 Hello, hello. Are you there?
00:08:07 Is that you, Jimson?
00:08:09 Oh, certainly not.
00:08:10 I wouldn't touch the fellow with a dung fork.
00:08:13 But Mr. Jimson is destitute.
00:08:17 If Mr. Jimson is destitute, it's entirely his own fault.
00:08:21 And he will accept your personal check for 250 pounds.
00:08:29 I'm sure he would.
00:08:31 But I don't owe him anything.
00:08:33 If this check's not in Mr. Jimson's hands by tomorrow morning,
00:08:36 he fully intends to burn your house down and cut your tribes out.
00:08:40 [clattering]
00:08:42 [music]
00:08:48 [door slams]
00:08:50 [phone ringing]
00:09:01 Mr. Hickson's house?
00:09:04 This is the Duchess of Blackpool.
00:09:08 I wish to speak to Mr. Hick.
00:09:11 One moment, your Grace.
00:09:14 [knock]
00:09:16 Who is it now?
00:09:21 The Duchess of Blackpool, sir.
00:09:23 Get the police and have the call traced.
00:09:25 I took the liberty of doing that on the previous call, sir.
00:09:28 He should be intercepted at any moment.
00:09:31 Yes?
00:09:32 This is her Grace, the Duchess of Blackpool.
00:09:37 [birds chirping]
00:09:39 Can you hear me?
00:09:42 Very clearly, indeed.
00:09:44 Dear Mr. Hick,
00:09:46 I am chairwoman of the Gully-Jimson Mural Committee.
00:09:53 We have got to raise 5,000 pounds
00:09:58 to enable Mr. Jimson to carry out his three great projects for the nation.
00:10:07 The fall of Milan, the raising of Lazarus, and the last judgment.
00:10:14 Mr. Jimson?
00:10:15 No, that's my first cousin, once removed.
00:10:17 An artist who's always getting into trouble with the police.
00:10:19 He just went up the road. Shall I call him back?
00:10:22 Have you just sent a telephone message of a threatening character to Mr. Hickson at Portland Place?
00:10:27 I only said I'd burn his house down and cut his liver out.
00:10:29 Now look, he doesn't want to prosecute, but if you go on making a nuisance of yourself,
00:10:33 well, he's going to have to take steps.
00:10:35 Would he rather I cut his liver out without phoning?
00:10:37 Now come now, Mr. Jimson, I mean, put yourself in his place.
00:10:40 I wish I could. It's a very nice place.
00:10:42 Just a minute.
00:10:44 Do it again.
00:10:47 And you're for it.
00:10:49 [music]
00:10:55 [music]
00:10:57 That's better. A good bash and you get what you want out of life.
00:11:19 That's been my experience.
00:11:21 Now what was it?
00:11:22 The usual.
00:11:23 They tried religion on me as soon as they saw what I was going to look like.
00:11:27 They always tried on the flatfoot squaws, but I had my pride.
00:11:31 It's not fair of God to make a girl and give her a face like mine.
00:11:35 No religion for Koki.
00:11:36 I'm a primitive meself, but I'm not one of the strict ones.
00:11:40 Now my missus is a peculiar.
00:11:42 She is strict.
00:11:44 Wind shifted. Gone round to the east.
00:11:46 Any messages for me? Letters, parcels, invitations?
00:11:50 Proper nipping that breeze. Red noses tomorrow.
00:11:52 So you're out. I thought it was Friday.
00:11:54 A nice fool you made of yourself, uttering menaces at your age.
00:11:57 I got a mistake, Koki. Half a mile.
00:11:59 I got thinking how I'd been done and it made me mad.
00:12:02 You were lucky to get off with a month.
00:12:04 I rang him again this morning, wanted to give him a little fright.
00:12:07 I suppose you're proud of yourself.
00:12:08 I put it on the slate, Koki. He lent me 50 quid.
00:12:10 Don't be silly.
00:12:11 I'll make it 40 then. I've got to get back to work.
00:12:13 What about the four pounds, nine and six you already owe me?
00:12:15 I've not been in a position to earn it, Koki.
00:12:18 You never are.
00:12:19 My boy is in no good position. Ten pounds a week at the gasworks.
00:12:22 Not like me daughter. She's deaf, runs in the family.
00:12:25 Look, we'll do a deal, Koki.
00:12:27 Lend me 32, Bob. Add on the price of the beer and we'll say that I owe you six quid.
00:12:30 Not bloody likely.
00:12:31 I've got security.
00:12:32 I've heard that before, too.
00:12:33 Same again, miss, please.
00:12:35 Cross me heart. Listen to this.
00:12:36 It's the girls that get it, not the boys.
00:12:39 The boys have ears like water rats.
00:12:41 I'd rather be blind than deaf.
00:12:43 Not that I haven't had enough trouble with my earache.
00:12:45 Dear Gully Jimson, you will excuse, I hope, my timidity in writing to you.
00:12:50 Well, read it yourself.
00:12:51 Who's it from?
00:12:52 A. W. Alabaster.
00:12:53 Secretary to Sir William Beader, the millionaire.
00:12:56 Sir William wants to buy some of my early works. Go on, read it.
00:12:59 I'd rather be deaf myself. I likes to see the world.
00:13:02 You can do without the talk.
00:13:04 Shut up.
00:13:05 They are extremely angry.
00:13:06 He's a millionaire, Koki. You can trust him.
00:13:08 All that letter's worth 15, Bob. Come on, I've got to get paints.
00:13:10 What are you going to do about this?
00:13:12 I haven't time to do anything about it.
00:13:14 Sir William Beader offers you 500 pounds for one of your early pictures
00:13:17 and you haven't got time to do anything about it?
00:13:19 I haven't got the pictures, Koki.
00:13:21 When Sal left me, she took them with her.
00:13:23 Where?
00:13:24 To my old friend, Hickson.
00:13:26 She ought to be hung on oaks.
00:13:27 Where have you been all the day, Billy boy, Billy boy?
00:13:31 Where have you been all the day, my Billy boy?
00:13:35 You and me's going to pay a little call on Mrs. Jimson.
00:13:38 Oh, she's Mrs. Mundy now, Koki.
00:13:40 Whatever she calls herself, she's not going to make a fool out of you
00:13:42 and she's not going to make a fool out of me.
00:13:44 I want my four pounds, nine and six and we'll go tomorrow morning.
00:13:47 You can keep the rest of the 500.
00:13:49 Suits me.
00:13:51 Can you let me have five, Bob, on a card?
00:13:54 And me Nancy tickled me fancy, oh me darling Billy boy.
00:14:11 (HORN BLOWING)
00:14:13 Disgusting, I call it.
00:14:24 How did you get in?
00:14:25 Through the hatch.
00:14:26 It's disgusting what they've done to your picture, Mr. Jimson.
00:14:29 They've ruined it.
00:14:30 I can patch it.
00:14:32 It's the little air gun holes that are the nuisance.
00:14:35 They've written names all over Eve, Mr. Jimson.
00:14:39 Mr. Jimson's just gone out.
00:14:41 He saw you coming.
00:14:43 I brought you some coffee and sausage rolls.
00:14:46 Don't they ever give you any homework?
00:14:48 It's the holidays.
00:14:49 If you want to get that scholarship and go to Oxford
00:14:51 and get into the civil service and be a great man
00:14:54 and have 2,000 pounds a year and a nice wife and a kid with real eyes
00:14:58 and open and shut, go home and work.
00:15:00 It's nice and hot, Mr. Jimson.
00:15:02 There's sugar in it.
00:15:03 Mr. Jimson won't be back for some time.
00:15:05 I'll drink it for him.
00:15:06 Now go home.
00:15:09 I want to be an artist.
00:15:24 I want you to help me.
00:15:25 Of course you want to be an artist.
00:15:26 Everybody does once, but they get over it,
00:15:29 like measles and chickenpox.
00:15:31 But there have to be artists.
00:15:32 And lunatics, too.
00:15:33 But why go and live in an asylum before you're sent for?
00:15:36 I don't want to bother you, Mr. Jimson,
00:15:38 but I don't know any other real artists.
00:15:42 I'll tell you a secret.
00:15:43 Jimson never was an artist.
00:15:45 You know what the critics said about him in the 1920s?
00:15:48 They said he was a nasty young man who tried to advertise himself
00:15:51 by painting and drawing like a child of six,
00:15:54 and since then he's got worse.
00:15:56 But they always say that, don't they?
00:15:58 Sometimes they're right.
00:15:59 Now, Jimson's papa was a real artist.
00:16:04 He painted noses in the right place.
00:16:07 He got into the academy, worked 16 hours a day for 50 years,
00:16:12 and died a pauper.
00:16:14 But he went on painting.
00:16:16 You're mad! You're deaf!
00:16:17 Get out of your mind!
00:16:18 Get off your nut! Get out of here, quick!
00:16:20 Go and do something sensible, like shooting yourself!
00:16:24 But don't be an artist!
00:16:33 Shh!
00:16:48 Skip out the board!
00:17:04 Skip out the board!
00:17:06 Let go forward!
00:17:07 Let go aft!
00:17:24 No hawkers, no circulars.
00:17:27 Beware of the dog.
00:17:29 Oh, fine old mess.
00:17:31 I tried putting in little white fish, but that wouldn't work.
00:17:34 You ready?
00:17:35 For what?
00:17:36 That ex-wife of yours.
00:17:38 I'm busy.
00:17:39 You put that down and come with me.
00:17:42 Tomorrow, cookie.
00:17:44 Some other time.
00:17:50 Oh, look at Adam's old knob of a shoulder.
00:17:53 Like a lump of meat.
00:17:55 Call that a man, I call it a dwarf.
00:17:57 What did you do it with, egg?
00:17:58 No, it's got to be today.
00:17:59 I got the morning off on purpose.
00:18:00 Come on, get your hat on.
00:18:07 Sarah Mundy, ex-invader.
00:18:09 And my four pounds, fourteen and six.
00:18:15 I admire you, cookie.
00:18:18 Obstinate as a mule, aren't you?
00:18:19 Yes.
00:18:21 I admire you, Sarah Mundy.
00:18:33 Where did you pick her up?
00:18:35 Is there a place for these models, or did you pick her up off the street?
00:18:38 Oh, she wasn't a model, and I didn't pick her up.
00:18:40 She was a married woman, and she picked me up.
00:18:42 Disgusting.
00:18:44 Poor regular man eater, Sarah, when I first knew her.
00:18:47 Just getting up in the thirties, and full blast on all cylinders.
00:18:51 Don't tell me about her, I can see her.
00:18:53 Which house is it?
00:18:54 Oh, search me, but I bet you five bob that it's the one with the brightest polished doorknob.
00:18:58 Dickie?
00:18:59 Great Scott.
00:19:01 Dickie?
00:19:02 It's the old dreadnought herself.
00:19:07 Why, it's not you, girly.
00:19:10 No, I'm Mr. Foster from Gloucester.
00:19:12 Well, isn't that nice?
00:19:14 You haven't seen a little boy with a ginger moustache coming along the street.
00:19:17 You might have heard him cough.
00:19:19 Excuse me, Mrs. Mundy, I'm Miss D. Coker, a friend of Mr. Jimson's, and we want a few words with you, and not in the street, if you please.
00:19:26 Certainly, Miss D. Coker.
00:19:28 Please come inside.
00:19:37 Excuse things as they are, but I wasn't expecting visitors so early.
00:19:41 And I never expected to see you, girly.
00:19:44 Gave me quite a turn.
00:19:45 Do sit down.
00:19:47 Excuse me.
00:19:49 Dickie?
00:19:50 I don't want any drinks from you.
00:19:52 Excuse me being so rude, but I'm so worried about my little boy.
00:19:55 My husband's little boy, I should say.
00:19:58 We came on business, we'll stick to that if you don't mind.
00:20:00 That's right.
00:20:01 I'll just see how the kettle is.
00:20:08 Don't sit down, Mr. Jimson.
00:20:10 If you sit down in her house, it'll all come out against us in court if we have any trouble.
00:20:13 I know her sort.
00:20:14 You don't know Sarah, Cokie.
00:20:17 She's got better tricks than that.
00:20:20 Oh, dear, I get so short of breath since I had flu.
00:20:23 Excuse me leaving you like that, Miss Coker.
00:20:25 Kettle won't be a moment, then we can have some tea.
00:20:27 Do sit down.
00:20:28 We've come about the pictures painted by Mr. Jimson here that you sold to Mr. Ixson.
00:20:32 That's right, Miss Coker.
00:20:33 Well, I don't call it right, I call it robbery.
00:20:35 That's right.
00:20:37 Why, Gully, it's a real pleasure.
00:20:41 Of course, Mr. Ixson said the pictures weren't properly finished, and we owed a lot of money all round.
00:20:47 Then Mr. Jimson left me, and I didn't know when he was coming back.
00:20:51 And of course, when Mr. Ixson said he'd pay all the debts, I was in such a whirl, I didn't know how to say no.
00:20:58 But you didn't think my pictures were worth tubs anyway.
00:21:00 Oh, yes, Gully.
00:21:02 I always thought you were a lovely artist.
00:21:04 It's just like old times, how well you look.
00:21:08 Oh, come off it, Sal.
00:21:09 We're both tottering into the grave.
00:21:11 Oh, you may well say that of me, Gully.
00:21:14 But he doesn't look a day older.
00:21:16 What a pity my husband's on duty this morning.
00:21:18 He would like to have seen you.
00:21:20 You old fool.
00:21:24 Why don't you stand up to her?
00:21:25 She's twisting you round her little finger.
00:21:27 Not me.
00:21:28 I know her game.
00:21:29 Not but what you can't get right down in the dirt if you want.
00:21:32 But I don't care.
00:21:33 As long as I get the evidence she stole those pictures, and I get my fourpence, fourteen and six.
00:21:40 Excuse me, Miss Coker, offering you cake with a slice out.
00:21:43 But the truth is, little Dickie keeps pestering me, poor mite.
00:21:46 And he's got such a bad cough, I just gave him a piece.
00:21:50 I notice you keep all the subject of Mr. Jimson's pictures.
00:21:52 That's right.
00:21:53 Well, will you sign a paper to say that Mr. Jimson didn't ought to have been swindled out of his legal property?
00:21:58 That's right.
00:21:59 Oh, dear, no sugar.
00:22:03 I can't get over seeing you again.
00:22:05 Ah!
00:22:06 Dickie!
00:22:08 Dickie!
00:22:11 Dickie!
00:22:13 Excuse me, Miss Coker.
00:22:15 I could have sworn I heard Dickie cough just now.
00:22:18 And how are the paintings going, Gally?
00:22:20 Nicely?
00:22:21 And how are your poor legs?
00:22:23 Bent.
00:22:24 And how you really sound.
00:22:26 I can see Mr. Watts' name and present owner, Mundy, takes good care of valuable property.
00:22:31 As we came on business, perhaps we'd better get on with it.
00:22:35 There were nineteen canvases and three hundred drawings.
00:22:38 No, there were only eighteen.
00:22:40 Where's the other one?
00:22:41 I don't know. I never could find it.
00:22:43 It must have got lost.
00:22:44 It wasn't the one you liked so much, of yourself on the bed.
00:22:47 You were always taking a peep at it.
00:22:50 Admiring yourself in your skin.
00:22:53 Well, I must say I never had any trouble with my skin, like some people.
00:22:57 Ah!
00:22:58 Oh, I thought I was bitten.
00:23:00 Excuse me, Miss Coker.
00:23:01 You'll never know the trouble we have in these nasty little houses, keeping them out of the furniture.
00:23:06 Sign here, Mrs. Mundy. We've wasted enough time.
00:23:09 Oh, you brought a pen.
00:23:10 How thoughtful of you.
00:23:11 I was worried about not having a proper pen.
00:23:15 You're signing for nineteen pictures and you only gave me an eighteen.
00:23:19 That's right.
00:23:20 You watch your sign, do you? You've always got something up your sleeve.
00:23:23 That's right.
00:23:24 Thank you, Mrs. Mundy. That's all we require.
00:23:27 Come on, Mr. Jimson. We're off to Mr. Ixson.
00:23:30 Ixson? Oh, no, Cokie. Not this morning. I've had enough. I'm not interested.
00:23:33 Maybe you're not, but I am and you've got that millionaire to see.
00:23:37 Oh!
00:23:38 Oh, there you are. This is Dickie.
00:23:43 Where have you been, you bad boy?
00:23:45 Say, how do you do to the gentleman?
00:23:47 This is Mr. Jimson. He's an artist.
00:23:49 When?
00:23:50 You've never seen a real artist before, have you?
00:23:53 You've got the right idea, son. Why don't you bite me?
00:23:56 That's the way you treat strangers. Make 'em respect you.
00:24:00 Are you coming or are you not?
00:24:02 No, I'm not.
00:24:03 You'll get a crack from me if you don't.
00:24:05 I hope she looks after you properly, Gulley.
00:24:08 She? She doesn't look after me.
00:24:10 I'm me own man.
00:24:13 Are you coming or am I going?
00:24:15 Goodbye, Gulley.
00:24:17 You look so young, I... I can't get over it.
00:24:21 Ta-ta.
00:24:26 Well, if I said I was surprised at you, Mr. Jimson, it wouldn't be true.
00:24:33 I see too many dirty old men and some of them didn't know better.
00:24:36 But pinching...
00:24:37 It was only a howdy-do.
00:24:39 With an old acquaintance, you're my steady.
00:24:42 Not me.
00:24:44 I'm nobody's steady but my own.
00:24:47 Miss Deacoker, Mr. G. Jimson, to see Mr. Hickson on business.
00:25:06 I will inquire if Mr. Hickson is at home.
00:25:09 Will you please come this way?
00:25:13 (phone rings)
00:25:15 I should have phoned to see if he was in.
00:25:19 Hickson doesn't put much faith in the telephone.
00:25:22 Wait here, please.
00:25:24 Who was that?
00:25:28 Hickson's man, always in a dark suit.
00:25:30 Well, how could I tell he wasn't a gentleman?
00:25:32 You're not meant to, first time.
00:25:34 Look at this.
00:25:39 I'll pity the poor girl that's got to dust this lot.
00:25:42 Chunky work, but look at the detail.
00:25:44 Nice place.
00:25:46 Nice staff.
00:25:49 Keeps it nice, too.
00:25:52 Come here, Cookie.
00:26:04 Where's your Rubens now?
00:26:06 Or your Renoir?
00:26:08 Who did it?
00:26:10 I did.
00:26:11 It's not that Sarah.
00:26:13 What's the matter, who it is?
00:26:15 How could she show herself like that?
00:26:17 It's such a lump, too.
00:26:19 It's disgraceful.
00:26:20 It's a work of genius, Cookie.
00:26:21 It's worth 50,000 pounds.
00:26:23 It's worth anything you like.
00:26:25 Because it's unique.
00:26:27 And Hickey's got it.
00:26:30 Because it's unique.
00:26:32 And Hickey's clever enough to know it.
00:26:35 Oh, now this old stuff's worn to shreds.
00:26:38 He wants a nice bit of chintz on that.
00:26:40 Look at my picture, Cookie.
00:26:41 I saw it once.
00:26:43 You didn't think about it.
00:26:44 I know if it was a postcard and some poor chap tried to sell it, he'd get 14 days.
00:26:49 You're missing a big slice of life, Cookie.
00:26:53 Half a minute of revelation's worth a million years of no nothing.
00:26:57 Who lives a million years?
00:26:59 A million people every 12 months.
00:27:01 I'll show you how to look at a picture.
00:27:05 Don't look at it.
00:27:06 Feel it with your eyes.
00:27:08 First feel the shapes in the flat.
00:27:11 Like patterns.
00:27:13 Then feel it in the round.
00:27:16 Feel all the smooth and sharp edges.
00:27:19 The lights and the shades.
00:27:22 The cools.
00:27:25 And the warms.
00:27:28 Oh, the jugs look real, I'll give you that.
00:27:30 Now feel the chair.
00:27:37 The bathtub.
00:27:39 The woman.
00:27:41 Not any old tub or woman, but the tub of tubs.
00:27:47 And woman of women.
00:27:49 I suppose there's some sense in it.
00:27:51 Oh, I know you're clever.
00:27:53 Do you think I'd have any patience with you if you weren't?
00:27:55 I'd shove you in the first dustbin.
00:27:57 I'm trying to teach you something.
00:27:59 What?
00:28:00 A great happiness.
00:28:01 Looking at a big fat totty in a bathtub.
00:28:03 Do you think I'm a dirty old man?
00:28:05 Jemson, I don't know what you've come for,
00:28:07 but if you and this lady intend to make trouble...
00:28:09 Oh, no, Hickey.
00:28:10 Coker's very law-abiding.
00:28:12 She has an artistic way of expressing herself, that's all.
00:28:15 Miss Coker, Mr. Hickson.
00:28:17 Pleased to meet you, sir.
00:28:19 Mr. Hickson, this morning, me and Mr. Jemson...
00:28:21 Please sit down.
00:28:23 Well, this morning, me and Mr. Jemson
00:28:30 called at the house of Mrs. Jemson,
00:28:33 that was and now calls herself Mrs. Mundy.
00:28:36 Miss Coker, Jemson owed me a large sum of money,
00:28:39 some 400 pounds.
00:28:41 Mrs. Jemson offered me 18 canvases in settlement of this debt.
00:28:45 I accepted her offer.
00:28:47 Oh, as I understand it, there were 19.
00:28:49 Oh, Mrs. Jemson...
00:28:50 Oh, I beg her pardon.
00:28:51 Mrs. Mundy kept one for herself for sentimental reasons.
00:28:56 Did you hear that, Mr. Jemson?
00:28:58 I heard.
00:28:59 Now you had 18 pictures for 400 pounds,
00:29:02 and that one's worth 50,000 pounds by itself.
00:29:06 Hardly.
00:29:07 Perhaps someday.
00:29:08 All I can say is that I wouldn't take 5,000 for it.
00:29:11 Well, it's bare-faced robbery.
00:29:13 Mr. Jemson, where are you?
00:29:15 Improving myself.
00:29:17 Appreciating the rare and the beautiful.
00:29:19 Well, come here at once.
00:29:21 Madam, I don't think you quite understand the position.
00:29:24 In all, Jemson has had some 3,000 pounds from me.
00:29:29 Apart from various loans,
00:29:31 I have given him 2 pounds a week without any obligation whatever
00:29:35 for some considerable time.
00:29:37 You old fraud.
00:29:39 3,000 pounds, and you said he'd robbed you.
00:29:42 That's what you said, Cokie.
00:29:44 What I said was that he got my pictures cheap.
00:29:46 You've been telling a lot of lies.
00:29:48 I'm borrowing money under false pretenses.
00:29:50 Please, please, don't let's have any argument.
00:29:53 I'm quite prepared to resume Jemson's allowance,
00:29:56 provided that he promises not to ring me up.
00:29:59 I'm an old man, Jemson,
00:30:01 and I don't very much mind if you murder me,
00:30:04 but I cannot stand all this telephoning.
00:30:06 It upsets the servants, and they give notice.
00:30:09 I hadn't thought of that.
00:30:11 I must have servants.
00:30:12 I'm used to them, and I can afford to pay for them.
00:30:15 And they probably wouldn't mind working here.
00:30:17 If it wasn't for you...
00:30:18 May I have a word with you, sir?
00:30:20 In private. It's rather urgent.
00:30:22 Certainly, Robert.
00:30:24 Excuse me a moment.
00:30:26 What's going on?
00:30:34 It's a conference between master and man.
00:30:36 They're deciding who does the work.
00:30:39 (phone rings)
00:30:41 He's telephoning.
00:30:44 Have you been up to anything in there?
00:30:47 What have you got in your pockets?
00:30:49 I thought you looked a bit bulgy.
00:30:51 You'll go to Chokey for years this time, my lad,
00:30:53 and I won't be sorry.
00:30:54 Come on out with them, quick.
00:30:56 Why all the fuss?
00:30:58 Vicki doesn't appreciate the stuff anyway.
00:31:01 Don't be silly. That butler's on to it already.
00:31:04 What's this?
00:31:07 I've seen her before.
00:31:12 I'll give you a good big punch for this.
00:31:14 I'm not going to be seen with a thief.
00:31:16 It's the police he's on to.
00:31:18 I don't believe that.
00:31:21 It's the police, I tell you.
00:31:23 (coughs)
00:31:30 Do you hear anything?
00:31:34 I can't hear a thing.
00:31:40 Well, I can. It's the police car.
00:31:43 Oh, that treacherous old crocodile.
00:31:50 No, no, no! No, no, no!
00:31:58 Up here, boys!
00:32:01 They're starving an artist to death.
00:32:08 No, no, no!
00:32:10 The police, Roberts. Let them in.
00:32:13 I don't see why they have to break the window.
00:32:16 Murder! Murder!
00:32:22 He's killing me!
00:32:27 No! No!
00:32:31 The kitchen, Roberts. The kitchen.
00:32:35 The passage.
00:32:38 And I'm giving a month's notice.
00:32:40 Good morning. I'm the gas man.
00:32:54 And this is my daughter, Gladys.
00:32:56 Oh, I wasn't expecting you.
00:32:58 The maid is in the pantry.
00:33:00 (screams)
00:33:02 I say, you two, this tax is taken.
00:33:18 I'm Dr. A.W. Alabaster, in a hurry.
00:33:21 Taking this lady to St. George's Hospital.
00:33:23 I'm not going through with it, Mr. Jemson.
00:33:25 There's nothing the matter with me.
00:33:27 Pay no attention, gentlemen. She's a little over-off.
00:33:29 Hey, driver! Don't fool with a man at the wheel.
00:33:31 If you two have been up to any hanky-panky, we'll call the police.
00:33:34 She's not a girl for hanky-panky, I assure you.
00:33:36 And the police know all about us.
00:33:38 Don't they, Gladys?
00:33:39 Oh, I've heard enough.
00:33:41 Here's your letter. You go and see your millionaire on your own.
00:33:43 And don't forget the money you owe me.
00:33:45 And send it registered.
00:33:47 I don't want to see you again, ever.
00:33:49 Shop treatment. That's what she wants.
00:33:52 Oh, excuse me.
00:33:55 Sir William and Lady Beda. Chatfield Court.
00:33:58 Thank you.
00:34:00 Oh, we've passed it.
00:34:02 And every space as small as a globule of man's blood,
00:34:19 such as this we now occupy,
00:34:21 opens into eternity.
00:34:24 I quote from old man Blake.
00:34:26 Are you sure Sir William and Lady Beda are expecting you?
00:34:29 Expecting me? They're down on their knees, praying for me.
00:34:32 Top floor.
00:34:35 6B, on the left.
00:34:41 What are you waiting for? Think I'm going to walk off with the door?
00:34:52 I beg your pardon. I thought I heard the bell.
00:34:54 Are you the butler here?
00:34:56 Hardly. I'm Sir William Beda's secretary.
00:34:59 What can I do for you? Are you lost?
00:35:01 No. Now don't tell me I'm psychic.
00:35:04 You are A.W. Alabaster, the very man I want.
00:35:08 You have the advantage on me.
00:35:09 I'm Gunny Jimson, the world-renowned painter.
00:35:11 Mr. Jimson. Forgive me. I should have recognized you.
00:35:14 Yes, I'm Alabaster. Do come in.
00:35:16 It's all right, Hodges.
00:35:18 You understand we do have to be a little careful.
00:35:21 Let me take your hat.
00:35:23 What is it, Mr. Jimson? Are you unwell?
00:35:34 That wall.
00:35:36 It's rather bare, I'm afraid.
00:35:38 Lady Beda's just had a tapestry removed for renovation.
00:35:41 That's the wall I want. I've dreamt of a wall like that.
00:35:46 I see it. I see it.
00:35:49 The painting of Lazarus.
00:35:51 A yellow pair of feet, long and stringy.
00:35:58 A black pair, huge and strong.
00:36:01 A child's feet, pink with nails like polished coral.
00:36:05 An old pair with wobbly toes curled into the dust.
00:36:08 I'm afraid Lady Beda...
00:36:09 Lady Beda down in this corner, in the nude, laughing with pleasure.
00:36:13 Sir William, Mr. Jimson.
00:36:14 Sir William down there, dead drunk, asleep.
00:36:16 Unaware of the miracle that's taking place.
00:36:19 Sir William and Lady Beda are out. They'll be back shortly.
00:36:22 It would be great alabaster.
00:36:24 Of course, Mr. Jimson. Do let me give you some tea.
00:36:26 The servants are darned indorsed.
00:36:28 Or perhaps you prefer something stronger?
00:36:30 Brandy.
00:36:31 Well, it's lucky you're dropping in like this today.
00:36:33 The Beda's leave for Jamaica tomorrow morning and I go with them.
00:36:36 Six weeks of sunshine.
00:36:37 I take it you have a picture for them. They'll be delighted.
00:36:40 How much will they pay for this delight?
00:36:42 Well, that depends, of course.
00:36:44 In your letter you said they'd pay handsomely.
00:36:46 Well, I'm sure they will for the right picture.
00:36:48 Something similar in style, perhaps, to the woman in the bath.
00:36:51 They've always admired it so much.
00:36:53 Friends of Hickson's, are they?
00:36:54 They dine together almost every week.
00:36:56 The world is too small, Professor.
00:36:58 But I know when I can find another picture of mine of Sal, the lady in the bath.
00:37:03 Sir William will be thrilled.
00:37:04 And I'll only ask 7,000 for it.
00:37:06 Well, they're great patrons of the arts, but they might think that a bit steep.
00:37:10 Millionaires, aren't they?
00:37:11 If they want culture, they pay.
00:37:14 My dear Mr. Jimson, Sir William and Lady Flora are most cultured people.
00:37:17 Oh, I bet they are.
00:37:18 Who are the most enlightened people in the world?
00:37:20 The rich.
00:37:21 I love millionaires.
00:37:23 7,000's my price.
00:37:25 But I'll tell you what.
00:37:27 I'll paint this wall and throw it in, free, greatest and for nothing.
00:37:33 A raising of Lazarus that will make your hair stand on end.
00:37:37 Thank goodness that's that.
00:37:39 We've done our last minute shopping and we're dead.
00:37:42 Good afternoon.
00:37:44 Lady Beda, this is Mr. Gully Jimson.
00:37:46 You remember you instructed me to write to Mr. Jimson about a painting.
00:37:49 He's just called.
00:37:50 How do you do?
00:37:52 Enchante.
00:37:53 Sir William, Mr. Jimson.
00:37:54 How do you do?
00:37:55 How do you do?
00:37:56 We are most honored, Mr. Jimson, I assure you.
00:37:58 Your ladyship, I saw you in the nude, squatting down by that wall, laughing merrily.
00:38:05 But now I see you clothed rather foolishly, clasping a cornucopia from which you're distributing useless gifts to the poor.
00:38:12 Mr. Jimson's been telling me of his unusual ideas for a wall painting.
00:38:15 That wall.
00:38:16 Yes, well, it was a picture we wanted from you, Mr. Jimson.
00:38:18 Something quite small that we could hang in our country house.
00:38:20 You shall have both.
00:38:21 Oh, I'm sure that might be delightful.
00:38:23 But you see, we are just off for our winter holiday, flying tomorrow morning.
00:38:26 And I really don't think we can come to any decision before we are back.
00:38:29 Mr. Jimson has a picture.
00:38:31 Oh, how exciting.
00:38:33 I see you have finished your drink on the glass.
00:38:35 Yes, well, now we could see it, no doubt, and I'll return.
00:38:37 I'm not sure about that.
00:38:39 The Archbishop of Canterbury is most anxious to have it.
00:38:42 Lady Beda and Lady Flora, I think you and Sir William, Sir Willie, Sir Bob,
00:38:49 are two of the nicest people I've ever met, and I shan't hesitate to diddle the Archbishop.
00:38:54 You shall have the picture.
00:38:55 I think we'd better leave details until much later.
00:38:57 Well, I think that's simply enchanting of you.
00:38:59 We are very fond of artists, you know my friend.
00:39:01 You were very fond of artists, you know my husband and I.
00:39:04 My wife does a little painting herself.
00:39:06 Oh, William, you shouldn't say such a thing in front of a professional artist.
00:39:09 Nonsense, my dear.
00:39:10 I'm sure Jimson would love to see your stuff.
00:39:12 He may give you a few tips.
00:39:13 A touch more of the three star, Professor.
00:39:15 Don't you think, Sir William, it would be better to wait for a proper session
00:39:18 when there's plenty of time and light?
00:39:20 Oh, of course.
00:39:21 We have no right to impose on Mr. Jimson.
00:39:22 Arnold, get Lady Flora's portfolio.
00:39:24 Poor Mr. Jimson.
00:39:25 You will be quite dreadfully bored, I fear.
00:39:27 William, I think I need a little fortification.
00:39:30 I think I'll have one too.
00:39:31 How about you?
00:39:32 Thank you.
00:39:33 Everything about you, Lady B, gives me confidence.
00:39:36 I know I'm going to like your pictures.
00:39:38 Amateurs do much the most interesting work.
00:39:46 (PAPER RUSTLING)
00:39:48 Lovely.
00:40:14 Only wants a title.
00:40:16 I think the sky's not too bad.
00:40:18 Charmant.
00:40:19 Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
00:40:21 Of course, the sky is just a little bit chancy.
00:40:24 Just a little bit accidental.
00:40:28 Like when the cat spills his breakfast.
00:40:31 I think I see what you mean.
00:40:33 Well, you know, you get skies like that in Dorset.
00:40:35 This artificial light's rather misleading.
00:40:37 A typical Dorset sky, that's my point.
00:40:39 A pure accident.
00:40:41 Oh.
00:40:43 And just look at the wriggle of the mast on the water.
00:40:47 That's technique.
00:40:50 My wife has made a special study of watercolour technique.
00:40:53 Oh, William, you'll have Mr. Jimson laughing at this.
00:40:56 All you've got to do now, having mastered this technique,
00:40:59 is to forget it, kick your heels and blow it through the keyhole.
00:41:02 I do see what you mean.
00:41:04 You mean that mere cleverness can be dangerous.
00:41:06 The kiss of death.
00:41:07 All this is very clever and pretty, pretty, but is it worth it?
00:41:11 Ask yourself.
00:41:12 Use your loaf. Do some thinking.
00:41:14 But don't you think... Of course, I'm not a professional.
00:41:17 A good thing, too, my dear.
00:41:18 Don't you think that the intellectual approach can be dangerous, too, Mr. Jimson?
00:41:21 Ha, ha, ha!
00:41:23 Now, listen to them alabaster.
00:41:26 The poor dears.
00:41:28 The poor so-and-sos.
00:41:30 What do you think I've been doing all my life?
00:41:32 Playing tiddlywinks with little Freddy's colour box?
00:41:34 More brandy, Professor.
00:41:38 And help yourselves.
00:41:40 Let's get stinking.
00:41:42 I'll tell you something.
00:41:44 Straight from the horse's mouth.
00:41:47 You have to know when you succeed and when you fail and why.
00:41:54 Know thyself, in fact.
00:41:57 In short, you have to think.
00:42:01 Yes, we're all very privileged, I'm sure, but...
00:42:06 How about your packing, Lady Beda?
00:42:07 A good idea.
00:42:08 Packing? You talk of packing at a time like this?
00:42:11 When we're getting down to fundamentals?
00:42:14 Ha, ha, ha! Fundamentals!
00:42:16 Now you're talking.
00:42:18 You should meet Mrs. Morton Grange-Waring.
00:42:20 She's always down to fundamentals, isn't she, William?
00:42:22 She has the flat immediately below us.
00:42:24 Then call her up.
00:42:26 Let's have a party.
00:42:27 That is impossible, I'm glad to say.
00:42:29 She's gone to Java to study the dance.
00:42:31 Aye!
00:42:32 Aye!
00:42:33 I have news for you.
00:42:45 I'm going to be just a little bit ill.
00:42:47 Oh, Buff!
00:42:48 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:50 I'm just going to sleep here.
00:42:51 I say you can't do that.
00:42:52 I'll drive you home, Mr. Jones.
00:42:53 My London house is shut up for the winter.
00:42:56 And my aunt has gone zing-zing...
00:43:00 to study the electric chair.
00:43:03 I shall sleep here.
00:43:04 But there are only two beds, ours and Arnold's.
00:43:07 Lovely!
00:43:09 Well, Bob, Bobby will sleep with Al,
00:43:12 and I will turn in with you.
00:43:16 I'm 50-odd.
00:43:18 Well, call it 60-odd.
00:43:19 No, no, come here, come here, come here.
00:43:21 So it's unlikely you'll be inconvenienced.
00:43:25 Oh!
00:43:26 Oh, heavens!
00:43:28 Oh, Arnold, William, what's the situation?
00:43:30 What are you going to do?
00:43:31 What? Well, we'll push him out in the passage,
00:43:33 and Alabaster can get Hodges to drive him home.
00:43:36 Oh, William, that's out of the question.
00:43:37 Look, Mr. Jensen, he's ill.
00:43:39 We really must look after him.
00:43:41 We'll put him to bed in your room, Arnold.
00:43:42 Oh, really, Flora?
00:43:44 And you can spend the night on the sofa.
00:43:55 [alarm clock ringing]
00:43:58 [coughing]
00:44:19 [coughing]
00:44:21 Good morning.
00:44:39 Good morning.
00:44:40 Peter's gone.
00:44:41 Hours ago.
00:44:42 But didn't they tell you I was here?
00:44:43 They left a message.
00:44:46 What time is it?
00:44:47 Past 11.
00:44:48 You going now?
00:44:49 I am.
00:44:50 For how long?
00:44:52 Six weeks.
00:44:54 Better leave me the key.
00:45:00 Message says, "Give key to porter."
00:45:04 Oh, Lady Flora was forgetting that I shall need the key.
00:45:07 I'll give it to the porter when I've finished.
00:45:09 That's not what the message says.
00:45:11 I assure you Sir Bob and Lady Flora would be most upset
00:45:14 if they thought you'd left me without the key.
00:45:17 I'll have to use the wall to paint.
00:45:19 I can't see it needs painting.
00:45:22 What are your feet like?
00:45:24 Why?
00:45:25 If they're really old, trampled feet as I suspect,
00:45:28 I'd like to draw them.
00:45:29 Draw your own feet.
00:45:32 Old women's feet.
00:45:34 Thin, flat, long, clinging to the ground like reptiles.
00:45:40 [music]
00:45:55 Sir.
00:45:56 [music]
00:46:03 Good morning.
00:46:04 Any mail this morning?
00:46:06 No.
00:46:07 I beg your pardon.
00:46:08 I have the key to Sir William's apartment.
00:46:10 Mrs. Brace...
00:46:11 Mrs. Brace has fled.
00:46:12 Her feet had wings.
00:46:13 She left the key with me.
00:46:14 I know that.
00:46:15 I shall be needing the key.
00:46:16 I shall be staying here some time.
00:46:18 I like the air.
00:46:19 Oh, incidentally, my name is Jimson.
00:46:21 Sir Gully Jimson.
00:46:23 Oh, I see, sir.
00:46:24 O-M.
00:46:25 Oh, well, of course, that's different.
00:46:27 It certainly is different.
00:46:28 Yes, of course.
00:46:29 If any friends call, send them up.
00:46:30 Aye, aye, sir.
00:46:31 Just slipping out for some charcoal.
00:46:33 [music]
00:46:39 Twenty-eight pounds, twelve shillings and sixpence.
00:46:43 Thank you.
00:46:45 Very fair prices for this time of the year.
00:46:48 Thank you, sir.
00:46:49 May I?
00:46:50 Certainly, sir.
00:46:51 It's a pleasure to handle merchandise like this.
00:46:53 Oh, it is, isn't it?
00:46:54 One mural, Raising of Lazarus, plus Sarah on Bed, seven thousand pounds,
00:46:59 advance, twenty-eight pounds, twelve shillings and sixpence,
00:47:03 balance owing, um, six thousand, nine hundred and seventy-one pounds,
00:47:09 seven shillings and sixpence.
00:47:10 [knocking]
00:47:18 A face from the distant past.
00:47:20 One must be businesslike when dealing with millionaires.
00:47:24 I don't have much experience in that line, sir.
00:47:26 Oh, you will have.
00:47:27 [knocking]
00:47:30 What you trying to say, nosy?
00:47:33 Oh, you still want to be a painter.
00:47:40 My, uh, bitter self follows me like a whipped dog.
00:47:47 You want to work for me.
00:47:51 Make tea.
00:47:54 It's the kind of face you want to throw a brick at, don't you think?
00:47:56 Would you mind?
00:47:57 Sir, sir.
00:47:58 You're joking.
00:47:59 Scram!
00:48:02 Au revoir.
00:48:04 Arrivederci.
00:48:06 Hasta la vista.
00:48:10 You won't get rid of me by shouting, Mr. Jemson.
00:48:13 Miss Coco told me where to look for you, and now I've found you.
00:48:15 You really want it to be useful, nosy?
00:48:17 That's right.
00:48:18 Then get me a tiger.
00:48:21 Tiger?
00:48:31 Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forests of the night,
00:48:36 what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?
00:48:43 Not mine.
00:48:48 Did he smile his work to see?
00:48:51 Did he who made the lamb make thee?
00:48:54 Apparently.
00:48:58 Shh.
00:49:01 We should have got something live from the zoo.
00:49:04 I like it, Mr. Jemson.
00:49:07 You like meringues, cream puffs, and candy floss.
00:49:12 I'm sorry.
00:49:14 You should have learned by now it's easy to offend the faith of the little ones.
00:49:18 You don't offend me, Mr. Jemson.
00:49:20 But perhaps I'm not such a little one as you imagine.
00:49:22 I've got eyes in my head, and I like your tiger.
00:49:25 The trouble with you is you're an enthusiast, like my dad.
00:49:30 He'd start painting a picture of a girl on a swing and go right on to the shine on the rose thorn
00:49:35 and the pollen in the lily, and then lacquer it.
00:49:39 Me, I like starting, but I don't like going on.
00:49:45 For me, the tiger's dead, and the rest is a blank.
00:49:57 What do you see in the blank, Mr. Jemson?
00:50:00 A kind of colored music in the mind.
00:50:04 A glass screen, Lazarus, stiff as an ice man.
00:50:12 My mother bore me in the southern wild, and I am black.
00:50:16 How does he go on?
00:50:18 Where's your education?
00:50:20 When I'm from black and he from white, cloud free.
00:50:23 Freedom, that's it.
00:50:25 Freedom from paintbrushes, from fear of yourself.
00:50:29 Freedom to do or not to do.
00:50:33 Freedom to come and go as you please.
00:50:40 Black, white, yellow, black.
00:50:48 But, Sir Jemson, sir, he said he wanted to see me.
00:50:51 How do I know that?
00:50:52 That's what Sir Jemson said, sir.
00:50:54 All right.
00:50:55 Go on, use the stairs, top floor, 6B.
00:50:58 Sir Jemson said I wasn't to walk, sir, and not to tie my feet.
00:51:02 Come on, then.
00:51:08 How did you get such feet?
00:51:09 What kind of feet, sir?
00:51:10 Cheeky feet.
00:51:12 I don't know, sir.
00:51:13 What do you do for a living?
00:51:14 I'm a waiter, sir.
00:51:15 Ah, so that's it.
00:51:17 I don't know what you mean, sir.
00:51:18 Salud.
00:51:19 Yam ho.
00:51:20 Yasu.
00:51:21 Uege shi.
00:51:24 Kampai.
00:51:25 Bundio.
00:51:26 Skol.
00:51:28 You know what would happen if you took off all the waiters' boots?
00:51:30 No, sir.
00:51:31 Their feet would make such rude remarks, the customers wouldn't be able to enjoy their dinners.
00:51:35 Just as you say, sir.
00:51:37 I can only get 18 bob for the teapot, Mr. Jemson.
00:51:41 You've been robbed.
00:51:42 It was a serve.
00:51:44 That fellow at the pork chop's diddling you.
00:51:46 So I got some turps and the yellow ochre and flake white, two tubes each.
00:51:51 That leaves ninepence.
00:51:52 Young man, I drink to your gloomy future.
00:51:56 We can no longer afford tea and sugar.
00:51:59 We are reduced to what was known in my youth as bubbly.
00:52:03 Do you want to sign the account book now, Mr. Jemson?
00:52:06 You're my auditor, Nosy.
00:52:08 The financial situation is your concern.
00:52:11 Well, I'm slobbered ass.
00:52:13 It looks as if I shall have to do you in white.
00:52:25 [phone ringing]
00:52:36 You've been wearing shoes.
00:52:39 It's like something out of a medical museum.
00:52:43 Everyone wears shoes, Mr. Jemson.
00:52:45 I can't help it.
00:52:47 [phone ringing]
00:52:52 Do you want me to answer the door?
00:52:54 What door?
00:52:56 The bell's ringing, Mr. Jemson.
00:52:59 You move your feet, I'll chop them off.
00:53:06 [phone ringing]
00:53:08 Oh.
00:53:09 Hi.
00:53:10 Oh, no, not you.
00:53:14 Remove yourself, Misson.
00:53:15 I heard you'd struck it rich, Jemson.
00:53:17 You should have told me.
00:53:18 No sculptors for me, thank you.
00:53:19 All bash and no brain.
00:53:21 Go down any coal mine, Misson.
00:53:23 Take your chisel and dig yourself a hole.
00:53:25 Ah, Jemson, that's no way to talk.
00:53:28 We're all friends, share and share alike.
00:53:30 That's our motto.
00:53:31 That's your motto?
00:53:32 Remember the boots I gave you.
00:53:34 They were your father's.
00:53:35 What's all this nonsense?
00:53:37 Papering the wall?
00:53:38 No, you doxed biscuit.
00:53:40 I'm painting a picture.
00:53:41 That looks like a lot of feats to me.
00:53:43 What a crackpot idea.
00:53:44 They'll be putting you away soon.
00:53:46 Who are you?
00:53:47 I'm Lowly.
00:53:48 Oh, get down.
00:53:49 No, you don't, Misson.
00:53:50 That's mine.
00:53:52 Stick out your arm and pull in your wind a bit.
00:53:55 Oh, you'll do.
00:53:57 Look out, Bishop.
00:53:59 You're about to die.
00:54:02 That's fine, just about here.
00:54:04 You won't be in my way.
00:54:07 Ah, she'll come through here very pretty.
00:54:10 Get out, you humbugging rockhacker.
00:54:13 You're not bringing any of your monumental masonry in here.
00:54:16 It's a commission, Jemson.
00:54:18 Real money.
00:54:19 Big stuff.
00:54:21 Take her steady, Joe.
00:54:24 Take her steady, Joe.
00:54:26 [snoring]
00:54:29 [snoring]
00:54:32 [snoring]
00:54:51 [snoring]
00:54:56 [snoring]
00:54:59 Lower three feet.
00:55:02 Lower three feet.
00:55:04 Hold it.
00:55:07 Hold it.
00:55:09 [snoring]
00:55:15 You miserable chump and chancet.
00:55:19 What do you think you're playing at?
00:55:21 Get that rock out of here.
00:55:23 Shut up, Jemson. This is tricky.
00:55:25 It's all right. The porter's in the red line. We're quite safe.
00:55:28 Come on, give me those rollers.
00:55:30 Listen, I'm sending for the police.
00:55:32 Jemson, will you stop barking about?
00:55:35 This is a serious matter.
00:55:37 It's a commission from British Railways.
00:55:40 Let me go, you lout.
00:55:42 Let go!
00:55:44 Let go!
00:55:46 [train whistle]
00:55:49 [explosion]
00:55:52 [explosion]
00:55:55 [sizzling]
00:56:22 You are home.
00:56:24 Mrs. Morton-Gray is wearing.
00:56:35 She's gone to Java.
00:56:41 That's all right. I'll work down there.
00:56:51 Come on, I want to get started.
00:56:54 The light's not so good, but it'll do.
00:57:04 Everything all right, sir?
00:57:17 I heard a bump.
00:57:18 Must have been an explosion at the gasworks.
00:57:21 It gave me a terrible shock, sir.
00:57:23 The electricer's not so good.
00:57:25 Oh, I'm sorry. I wouldn't bother to come up this far in future.
00:57:28 Pull over, Mike.
00:57:34 You down there.
00:57:41 I'll only charge you a pound a week for Mrs. Warnock's flat.
00:57:46 You hear me?
00:57:48 And for another 15 bob, my houseboy will do a little light dusting.
00:57:56 [hammering]
00:57:59 [music]
00:58:28 Lovely hot stew, Miss Lowley.
00:58:31 I've got cramp. I can't put my hand to my mouth.
00:58:35 Better try all the same.
00:58:37 Oh, buzz off.
00:58:46 [hammering]
00:58:49 Lovely Irish stew, Mr. Jimson.
00:59:13 He hasn't eaten for two days.
00:59:16 He won't even speak.
00:59:18 Shut up, shut up, shut up.
00:59:20 Who cares if the old fool dies of starvation?
00:59:24 He's thinking.
00:59:29 You're chilly. Better eat.
00:59:32 Can't.
00:59:34 Let me help you. Open, open wide.
00:59:38 That's a good girl.
00:59:42 Jimson.
00:59:44 Jimson.
00:59:47 I hear a voice crying in the wilderness.
00:59:57 I'd like your advice.
00:59:59 Just come here a moment, will you?
01:00:03 [sigh]
01:00:05 Just look at this, will you?
01:00:14 Won't you come down?
01:00:16 I'd rather not.
01:00:18 I want to know.
01:00:23 What does it say to you?
01:00:25 It says to me, I'm getting smaller and smaller every day.
01:00:31 Well, it is smaller, of course, but bigger too, in a sense, don't you think?
01:00:36 Tell him it's wonderful, Gully. Tell him it's not ruined.
01:00:39 I've been in this position for six weeks.
01:00:42 If he keeps me here much longer, I'll be stuck like this for life.
01:00:45 That's a very selfish thing to say, Lowly. You're quite comfortable.
01:00:49 I'm numb.
01:00:51 Doesn't it say to you, Mother Earth, surrounded by her dead?
01:00:57 It may say that someday, but not yet.
01:01:01 Forgive me, Bisson. I'm not in a receptive mood.
01:01:06 I've problems of my own. I'd be grateful if you'd come up here a moment.
01:01:10 Oh, I could do with a stretch.
01:01:12 If I had a stretch, I'd snap.
01:01:14 Quiet, Lowly. Rest yourself.
01:01:25 Ah, it's getting bigger and bigger, in a sense.
01:01:29 What do you mean, in a sense?
01:01:31 Well, it's all filled in.
01:01:33 Any fool can see that.
01:01:35 Frankly, I don't like it.
01:01:37 I asked you up here as a friend. I didn't ask for your pea-brained opinion.
01:01:40 Too many feet.
01:01:41 I don't want to hear it.
01:01:42 I'm telling you, Jim Simpson, for your own good, too many feet.
01:01:45 Get out! Get out, submerged, before I chop your eyes out.
01:01:48 It's a track-pop painting. That's what it is.
01:01:51 Stay down, where you belong.
01:01:55 Earth and her dead.
01:01:57 Chop off its extremities.
01:02:00 It'll do for a guided missile.
01:02:02 A misguided missile.
01:02:04 Broken old idiot. You'll be a straw ball before you know when.
01:02:07 He's mad.
01:02:10 And he's dangerous.
01:02:16 Take a week's notice.
01:02:19 We're going now.
01:02:21 Drunk and insane old fool with a conceit of the devil.
01:02:25 Me, me, me. Arrogant, complacent, filthy old phony.
01:02:29 He's right.
01:02:37 A crack-pot painting.
01:02:49 A crack-pot painting.
01:02:51 Not what I meant.
01:03:12 Not the vision I had.
01:03:18 Why doesn't it fit?
01:03:20 Like it does in the mind.
01:03:25 Oh, thank you, Hodges. That's fine.
01:03:27 Well, I must say, it's good to be coming home.
01:03:31 Oh, William, we've come to the wrong flat.
01:03:35 Oh, no, no. Six feet. Six feet.
01:03:37 - This is us, my dear. - No, but it isn't it.
01:03:40 - Great Scott. - William, the wall.
01:03:45 I can see it, my dear.
01:03:48 - Oh, my dear. - Oh, my dear.
01:03:50 - Oh, my dear. - You're sinking. Come back.
01:03:52 Oh, my dear.
01:03:55 Oh, my dear.
01:03:57 Oh, my dear.
01:03:59 Oh, oh, oh.
01:04:02 (crash)
01:04:04 (music)
01:04:07 (music)
01:04:35 - It's the monsoon! - Oh, shut up.
01:04:38 Go away.
01:04:58 Go away. I tell you he's not here.
01:05:01 But he is here, Coco. Home is the sailor.
01:05:05 Home from the sea and the hunter. Home from the hill.
01:05:08 I'm not speaking to you.
01:05:11 Well, I'm coming in, out of the rain.
01:05:13 Ah, it's as wet inside as it is out.
01:05:15 What are you doing here?
01:05:17 I told you once I'm not speaking to you. Why don't you listen?
01:05:19 I am listening, Coqui. What are you doing in my studio?
01:05:22 Living here, that's what.
01:05:24 You're welcome. Why?
01:05:27 Because I've got nowhere else to live.
01:05:29 Because you've got my name in the paper.
01:05:31 Because I was a mugging prostitute. Because I lost my job.
01:05:33 Is that enough?
01:05:35 Why, it's a little bourgeois bungalow you've made of it.
01:05:39 It's clean, that's all. But it doesn't float.
01:05:41 And when the tide comes up, it comes in.
01:05:43 Where have you been all these weeks?
01:05:45 Staying with my millionaire friends.
01:05:47 They came back today, so I moved out.
01:05:49 I bet you're on the run again.
01:05:51 Well, this is no place for you, let me tell you.
01:05:53 The police are after you.
01:05:54 Quite a nice little account they have to settle.
01:05:56 No one saw me come here.
01:05:59 I'll stay a bit.
01:06:01 Where's my picture?
01:06:03 Facing the wall.
01:06:05 It's better like that.
01:06:08 Here, you'll catch your death of cold. Get out of those things.
01:06:13 I've nothing else to wear.
01:06:14 Take them off and get into bed.
01:06:16 Come on, don't stand there shivering.
01:06:20 Do as you're told.
01:06:22 And don't get the wrong idea.
01:06:24 At my age?
01:06:26 I wouldn't put it past you.
01:06:28 Come on.
01:06:34 Well, don't be so modest.
01:06:39 All right, I won't look.
01:06:41 Oh, I've never known anyone as vampous as you, be so modest.
01:06:45 You ought to be in the workhouse.
01:06:54 You can't put me in the workhouse, I'm a houseboat holder.
01:06:57 Have my socks dried for me, will you?
01:06:59 And my trues.
01:07:08 Heaven help us.
01:07:12 What's this?
01:07:21 My vest and pants.
01:07:24 You can look now. I'm decent.
01:07:26 I'll sleep on the floor if you like. I'm used to it.
01:07:35 That's old talk.
01:07:37 You ought to be in the circus with that muck on your face.
01:07:40 Just look at that cough of yours.
01:07:45 I'm not going to sleep on the floor.
01:07:49 I'm not going to sleep on the floor.
01:07:51 Just look at that cough of yours.
01:07:53 Oh, I've been harking to it for 30 years.
01:07:57 30 years or more.
01:08:19 I'll tell you how I started, if you like.
01:08:22 I worked in an office, all very respectable and clerk-like I was.
01:08:27 Then one day I saw a painting by Matisse, a reproduction.
01:08:33 I saw it because some of the chaps were laughing at it and called me over.
01:08:38 It gave me the shock of my life.
01:08:42 It skinned my eyes for me.
01:08:48 And I became a different man.
01:08:51 Like a conversion.
01:08:56 I saw a new world.
01:09:01 A world of color.
01:09:06 You listening?
01:09:10 No.
01:09:12 What are you doing?
01:09:17 I'm saying my prayers. I forgot them.
01:09:19 I thought you hated God.
01:09:22 Maybe I do.
01:09:24 Why'd you pray then?
01:09:26 Well, he's our father, isn't he?
01:09:29 That's a funny reason.
01:09:33 I've got things to be thankful for, haven't I?
01:09:38 E. Ray called me "live face" like an accident.
01:09:41 Kicked all round the place by my auntie and uncle when I was a girl.
01:09:46 But I got both legs the same length and I don't squint.
01:09:50 It's a sort of miracle.
01:09:53 That's something to be grateful for, isn't it?
01:09:56 In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, amen.
01:09:59 But I'm not going to be grateful if you kick the bucket in my bed.
01:10:06 Who'd you pray for?
01:10:15 Me.
01:10:17 Who else?
01:10:19 All sorts.
01:10:22 Me.
01:10:24 You mind your own business.
01:10:27 Sarah Munday.
01:10:31 Not likely.
01:10:33 Ixson.
01:10:39 Why should I pray for him? He's dead.
01:10:43 What?
01:10:45 Dead.
01:10:47 Stiff.
01:10:49 Didn't you know?
01:10:51 I reckon you polished him off, poor old turkey.
01:10:54 You don't say much, do you?
01:10:58 Your poor old friend popping off like that.
01:11:01 Well, you don't have to worry any more.
01:11:04 It's all right about your pictures.
01:11:07 I read in the paper that you were a good boy.
01:11:10 Yes.
01:11:12 I read in the paper.
01:11:14 He's given them to the nation.
01:11:17 I suppose you'd rather have the cash.
01:11:39 Oh, Gully, please forgive me calling out like that.
01:11:42 And you with all your admirers and me drawing attention to myself.
01:11:46 It shames me.
01:11:48 Nothing ever shamed you, Sal.
01:11:50 It makes me blush, I tell you, to think of all these people going in to see me naked in a bath.
01:11:55 You're going with them, I notice.
01:11:57 I couldn't resist another peep.
01:11:59 Not that you're best, Gully.
01:12:01 Oh, it's a picture, all right.
01:12:03 They all are wonderful pictures, even if they're not what you call pretty.
01:12:06 You've been to this exhibition before.
01:12:09 Twice last week.
01:12:11 I couldn't get in the week before.
01:12:13 Mr. Mundy had a bronchial attack.
01:12:15 It's his chest, you know.
01:12:17 Oh, get on, get on.
01:12:19 Sal, the picture of you in the bath.
01:12:22 It's not as good as mine.
01:12:24 The one you did of me in the bed.
01:12:26 Oh, Gully.
01:12:28 I knew you had it.
01:12:30 That's right.
01:12:32 Now you can see your picture every day in the gallery.
01:12:34 I don't know, Sal.
01:12:36 I don't know, I'm not sure.
01:12:38 Where'd you keep it?
01:12:40 In your old tin trunk?
01:12:41 Thank you.
01:12:42 That makes things very much easier.
01:12:44 [Growls]
01:12:46 In your old tin trunk.
01:12:49 I'm too upset to talk.
01:12:51 Seeing you sadly like that put me in mind of the old days when we were young.
01:12:56 [Train]
01:12:58 They drive you at such a speed to your grave these days.
01:13:07 What's it matter?
01:13:09 It's not natural, Gully.
01:13:11 There, I see that picture you painted.
01:13:13 Me as I was 20 years ago.
01:13:15 Then we pass the funeral.
01:13:17 It's unlucky, Gully.
01:13:19 It's my unlucky day.
01:13:20 Let's have a drink on it.
01:13:22 To tell you the truth, it's just what I want.
01:13:24 [Indistinct chatter]
01:13:26 I can manage, Gully.
01:13:29 It'll mean kibbles for Mr. Mundy tonight instead of a nice pork chop.
01:13:33 You may laugh, Gully,
01:13:41 but ever since I was a chit of a girl,
01:13:43 I've always dreamt of a real posh funeral.
01:13:47 I don't want to be taken through the streets quickly like
01:13:49 the blinds drawn and no flowers.
01:13:52 Take me home and give me the picture and there'll be enough for six funerals.
01:13:56 If I can throw in your portrait sale, the beaters will stump up 7,000.
01:14:00 You and I can go 50-50.
01:14:03 Hmm, I just want enough for a nice funeral and a proper stone.
01:14:07 You let me have the picture,
01:14:09 and when the time comes,
01:14:11 you can buy yourself an oak coffin
01:14:14 and a stone six foot high.
01:14:17 Oh, Gully.
01:14:19 God bless you.
01:14:20 You don't throw a woman's weakness in her face.
01:14:23 You know how God made us.
01:14:25 That's the funny thing about you.
01:14:28 You know about women.
01:14:30 When it comes to a wife, give me a woman every time.
01:14:34 Pity we broke it up, Sal.
01:14:38 Same again.
01:14:41 Do you think we ought?
01:14:43 Oh.
01:14:44 Shh, shh.
01:14:46 The king, he said, "To me you are a marvel."
01:14:57 And singing, "You have really got the knack."
01:15:02 Then from his tie he took a diamond scarf pin.
01:15:08 He smiled at me and then
01:15:13 he put it back.
01:15:15 Then from his tie he took a diamond scarf pin.
01:15:27 He smiled at me and then he put it back.
01:15:32 Come on, Sal.
01:15:36 It always did make me laugh, that song.
01:15:39 That wicked old king.
01:15:41 I'll pick it up and I'll be on my way.
01:15:44 I don't know, I'm sure.
01:15:48 I hate to part with it.
01:15:51 Think of that stone, Aberdeen granite.
01:15:54 Here lies, maid, model, cook, wife and a true friend.
01:15:59 In nice clean chisel lettering.
01:16:04 Now that you're such a success, Gully,
01:16:09 I think you could ask almost any price you want.
01:16:12 What will you do with all the money?
01:16:20 I'd change the mustaches.
01:16:23 I just want room to expand.
01:16:26 I've learned a lot the last few weeks.
01:16:29 I have a new vision.
01:16:32 Something quite different.
01:16:38 Don't you get yourself a proper job, a big boy like you?
01:16:40 Where would it get you being artistic?
01:16:42 A bit on the embankment at best, more like a spell in the cooler.
01:16:47 Look out, police.
01:16:49 Is that you, Melba?
01:16:53 Oh, it's you. I thought it was some unrespectable
01:16:57 like the inspector from Scotland Yard.
01:16:59 Hey, where you been? You gave us the slip.
01:17:01 Never mind where I've been.
01:17:03 Look, what I've got.
01:17:05 What is it? A new chimney? We could do with one.
01:17:07 You wait and see. I'm on my way to the beaters.
01:17:10 But I wanted Nosy to have a look at this
01:17:13 before it's put in its golden frame.
01:17:16 Oh, 8,000 I get for this and gone's speech.
01:17:21 That quality, fault and seech.
01:17:25 Poor Mr. Jimson.
01:17:27 Done in the eye by your girlfriend again, I suppose.
01:17:29 Will serve you right for taking up with such people.
01:17:31 I'll do her properly this time.
01:17:33 Look, we haven't even got a larder to keep them in.
01:17:36 Don't stand there snivelling. Run after the old boy
01:17:38 and see he doesn't get into any more mischief.
01:17:40 Got me.
01:17:57 You didn't expect me back so soon, did you?
01:17:59 Go away. I'll call the police.
01:18:01 Do with it all, Melba. Give me my picture.
01:18:04 Go away. Give me my picture.
01:18:07 No, Mr. Jimson.
01:18:09 Come out of there.
01:18:11 Open the door, Mrs. Munday.
01:18:13 No. No, go away.
01:18:18 Madness.
01:18:20 Help. No.
01:18:23 Go away. Go away. Help.
01:18:32 It's mine.
01:18:34 It's mine.
01:18:37 Let go. Let go.
01:18:41 Stop, Mr. Jimson.
01:18:43 Mrs. Munday.
01:18:51 Quick, Mr. Jimson, this way.
01:18:53 It wasn't your fault, Mr. Jimson. She slipped.
01:18:58 Mrs. Munday, are you all right?
01:19:01 She's only knocked herself out.
01:19:03 Quick, Mr. Jimson, before they get in.
01:19:05 Mrs. Munday.
01:19:07 Let go.
01:19:10 It's mine, darling.
01:19:12 It's mine.
01:19:14 God help me, I could have killed her.
01:19:16 Let me in.
01:19:18 Quick, Mr. Jimson, this way.
01:19:21 (children playing)
01:19:23 Never get spliced with a scheming cook general...
01:19:45 or you'll end on the gallows.
01:19:50 We can't spend the night here.
01:19:53 I like it here.
01:19:57 Bricks and broken glass.
01:20:00 And an old garbage can.
01:20:03 It's the story of my life.
01:20:07 I can hear a ca... ca...
01:20:13 Oh, hell.
01:20:18 Oh, hell.
01:20:20 I told you I could hear a black cat.
01:20:46 Hail, fellow citizen.
01:20:49 She likes it here.
01:20:52 It's a palace, she says, fit for a queen.
01:21:15 Mr. Jimson, come here.
01:21:18 I don't want to move.
01:21:21 I'm broody.
01:21:24 Please.
01:21:26 (sighing)
01:21:28 A wall.
01:21:54 A wall.
01:21:56 The last judgment.
01:22:02 Judgment.
01:22:04 Judgment.
01:22:06 Judgment.
01:22:08 (music playing)
01:22:10 What do you think I am, a surgeon?
01:22:35 Here you are, Michael Angelo.
01:22:38 Square B1 in the top left-hand corner.
01:22:40 Oh, for the wings of a dove.
01:22:42 Oh, so.
01:22:43 Collect your paints from nosy.
01:22:45 It won't stay white for long.
01:22:48 I'm a colorful man.
01:22:50 I'm sick of cleaning you up.
01:22:52 And if you're going to mess about with paints, you're wearing this.
01:22:54 I'm not painting, Cokie.
01:22:56 I'm supervising my apprentices.
01:22:58 What's your name, dear?
01:22:59 Sybil.
01:23:00 Oh, speak up.
01:23:01 You'll never make good if you mumble.
01:23:02 Sybil.
01:23:03 Ah, the great Sybil.
01:23:05 Well, you take C2, Snout of the Whale.
01:23:07 And nothing niggly, mind you.
01:23:09 Let me hear the paint going on.
01:23:11 Call yourself an artist.
01:23:12 What do you mean, not painting?
01:23:13 There's not time, Cokie.
01:23:14 It's a race against the demolition boys.
01:23:16 Once my design's on that wall, they won't dare touch it.
01:23:19 A British painting of unparalleled magnitude.
01:23:22 Excuse me, Mr. Jim.
01:23:23 Yes?
01:23:24 C2 appears to be occupied.
01:23:27 There's some mistake somewhere.
01:23:30 Hey, you!
01:23:32 Fatty!
01:23:33 You're fooling around in the wrong square.
01:23:41 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Jim, son.
01:23:45 Oh, my!
01:23:47 Well, it's so confusing up here.
01:23:49 It could happen to anyone, dear.
01:23:51 All the greatest artists got their squares wrong.
01:23:54 Numbers were invented by the British.
01:23:56 Squares wrong.
01:23:58 Numbers were invented by Arabs who hate art.
01:24:01 You have to lower Madge.
01:24:02 Harper finds him brilliant.
01:24:04 You two, give him a hand with Madge.
01:24:06 Go on, stir it.
01:24:13 You ever seen your mum beating up eggs?
01:24:16 Or is your house all modern machines?
01:24:18 Hold tight, Madge!
01:24:20 Hi!
01:24:22 Hi, Madge.
01:24:23 We heard that there were painting lessons from Gully Jimson.
01:24:26 That's right, six months an hour.
01:24:28 He's paying for the three of us.
01:24:30 Where do we go and what do we do?
01:24:31 Oh, give a hand over there with Madge.
01:24:33 Oh, dear baby, why do you smile?
01:24:37 Oh!
01:24:39 Oh, look who's here.
01:24:41 Dr. Livingstone, I presume.
01:24:44 You've been warned.
01:24:45 Are you a hot gospeler?
01:24:47 You know who I am.
01:24:48 Your face escapes me.
01:24:50 I'm Clark to the borough surveyor.
01:24:52 I've told you 20 times in the last 10 days.
01:24:55 Oh!
01:24:56 Oh!
01:24:57 Ha ha!
01:24:58 Ha ha ha!
01:24:59 Ha ha!
01:25:00 (cheering)
01:25:07 When you finish that, you can start on the dam.
01:25:11 D, 8, 9, and 10.
01:25:13 We may need tigers and orches.
01:25:17 We've run out of...
01:25:18 Flycatchers and flesh eaters.
01:25:20 A curse of evil.
01:25:22 Or a borough councillor eating a baby for breakfast.
01:25:25 We've run out of Cobalt Blue.
01:25:27 Go on, get some.
01:25:28 Ask Cokie for the money.
01:25:29 (singing)
01:25:32 No, sir.
01:25:33 We've run out of blue already, Miss Coker.
01:25:35 I'll want two quid.
01:25:37 Don't be silly.
01:25:38 This lot costs 30 bob.
01:25:39 We've got to have it.
01:25:41 There's only 12 and four of them in the kitty.
01:25:43 Oh, look at that one chip.
01:25:44 Right, that goes back.
01:25:46 (counting)
01:25:49 Make her eyes hard, Elsbeth.
01:25:51 Steely, like ball bearings.
01:25:53 Can I speak to you in private?
01:25:55 I'm all ears.
01:25:57 We've only 12 and fourpence left.
01:25:59 12 and fourpence?
01:26:01 Well, give me the fourpence.
01:26:03 Let me have the coppers, Cokie.
01:26:05 Where's the telephone?
01:26:12 I want to make a small investment.
01:26:14 You.
01:26:16 Keep the colour clean.
01:26:18 Keep it balanced.
01:26:20 And enjoy yourselves.
01:26:22 Well, all I want to know is, will it peel off?
01:26:28 I don't care to spend the rest of my life with all those trotters.
01:26:31 It's a national monument, Sir William.
01:26:33 Yes?
01:26:34 Well, if you fellows say so, I suppose it is.
01:26:36 So who shall I say?
01:26:37 A national monument in the park is one thing,
01:26:39 and a national monument in your house is another.
01:26:41 You wouldn't want to live with the Albert Memorial in your room now, would you?
01:26:44 Arnold, please.
01:26:45 Who is it for?
01:26:46 Do try to smile.
01:26:47 I gather it's for you, Lady Beda.
01:26:49 You know, William, I'm inclined to agree with Lord Stanwood
01:26:51 that it would be sacrilege to attempt to move it.
01:26:53 Who is it, Arnold?
01:26:54 The Duchess of Blackpool.
01:26:56 This is Flora Beda speaking.
01:26:58 Who is it, please?
01:26:59 The Duchess of Blackpool.
01:27:01 Who?
01:27:02 Seven thousand pounds of my debt,
01:27:03 and I don't suppose I'll ever see a penny of it.
01:27:05 And what am I left with?
01:27:06 Feet.
01:27:07 I don't want.
01:27:08 Can I get you a glass of sherry?
01:27:10 Oh, thank you.
01:27:11 Where in the far away is that?
01:27:12 No, I...
01:27:13 I don't know that part of London at all.
01:27:16 Oh, bring a checkbook.
01:27:19 I can honestly say I'm the last person in the world
01:27:21 to harbor thoughts of revenge.
01:27:23 But I would like to cut Mr. Jimson's head off with a meat axe.
01:27:26 Hear, hear.
01:27:27 Oh, it does sound rather fun.
01:27:30 Oh, but my arm.
01:27:32 Renoir painted with one arm.
01:27:34 Oh, I see.
01:27:35 Renoir did, did he?
01:27:37 Yes, Mr. Jimson, I understand.
01:27:39 Slap it on.
01:27:41 No dorset sunsets.
01:27:43 [radio chatter]
01:27:46 Yes, I think I can manage that.
01:27:48 All you've got to do is paint the giraffe's eye.
01:27:51 The giraffe's eye?
01:27:53 Yes.
01:27:54 [radio chatter]
01:27:56 Innocent.
01:28:08 Velvety.
01:28:11 River brown.
01:28:13 That's the idea.
01:28:16 You've got your whale upside down.
01:28:19 But Mr. Jimson,
01:28:21 surely a whale doesn't have its eye under its jaw, does it?
01:28:24 None of your sarcasm now.
01:28:26 My whales do, otherwise they wouldn't be real.
01:28:28 They'd just be pictures out of a whale book.
01:28:30 Shall I try and reverse it?
01:28:32 Not now, it's too late.
01:28:34 No, no, no, Flo.
01:28:37 Learn when to leave well alone.
01:28:40 You mean it's finished?
01:28:42 Finished.
01:28:44 Three cheers for Mr. Jimson.
01:28:47 Hip, hip.
01:28:48 Hooray!
01:28:49 Hip, hip.
01:28:50 Hooray!
01:28:51 Hip, hip.
01:28:52 Hooray!
01:28:53 The Philistines are upon us.
01:28:55 Let them be.
01:28:57 And remember, girls, no roughhousing.
01:29:01 It's all yours.
01:29:02 Right, come on, get them tassels down.
01:29:04 [chatter]
01:29:08 [chatter]
01:29:11 If I paint a wall, it's as good as asking it to catch fire or be struck by lightning.
01:29:18 I had hoped that this would take an earthquake or a world war.
01:29:23 I hadn't reckoned on a better council and demolition.
01:29:26 It's blasphemous and it's obscene.
01:29:29 Obscene, but I'm bashing the first bloke what touches it.
01:29:33 [chatter]
01:29:36 I warned him two weeks ago, Sir William, when I first got wind of it.
01:29:42 This chapel's got to come down.
01:29:44 But a surveyor's orders.
01:29:46 Now clear the way, please.
01:29:51 Come on, everybody, everybody, come on.
01:29:54 [chatter]
01:29:56 There, the bulldozer.
01:29:58 Rotten bastard.
01:30:00 She's coming down in 15 seconds from now.
01:30:05 It's not my responsibility, I assure you.
01:30:07 Oi, Bert, come on, get started.
01:30:11 Bert!
01:30:19 Bert!
01:30:20 Everyone okay?
01:30:48 [coughing]
01:30:50 I'd know that cough anywhere.
01:30:56 I had to do it, Cokie.
01:31:08 Too much responsibility for those chaps.
01:31:11 Destroying a national monument.
01:31:14 Where do you think you're going?
01:31:16 I've got a few bits and pieces to collect.
01:31:19 Then I'll be on my way to Freshwoods and Pastures New.
01:31:25 Where?
01:31:27 I need a new horizon.
01:31:29 Hey, you.
01:31:34 Come here.
01:31:36 Yes, you in the pinstripe.
01:31:42 You great nasty beastly boy!
01:31:47 [shouting]
01:31:49 [shouting]
01:31:51 Quick, Miss Coker, before there's a fire, fire, fire, riot.
01:31:56 [shouting]
01:31:58 [shouting]
01:32:00 Oh, please, Bert.
01:32:02 Oh, keep out of this, Bert.
01:32:04 Oh, keep out of this.
01:32:05 We need more sails.
01:32:07 [shouting]
01:32:09 Oh, keep out of this. We need more sails.
01:32:12 We're in the talldroms.
01:32:15 Block that man.
01:32:17 Skipper, you're just in time to relieve me for the first dock.
01:32:34 Let her go, Captain. I'm away with this tide.
01:32:38 [horse whinnies]
01:32:40 Hold on, father.
01:32:44 Let go up.
01:32:46 Hold on up.
01:32:49 She'll rip with this tide.
01:32:57 Hail the midships.
01:33:03 [music]
01:33:05 Where is he?
01:33:14 He's away, Miss. Away with the fleet.
01:33:17 There's a river, Miss, blowing up.
01:33:19 It's not a trip I'd like to be making.
01:33:32 Get out, the boat.
01:33:34 [music]
01:33:57 [music]
01:33:59 Where do you think you're going, Dad?
01:34:15 What's the big idea?
01:34:17 Ah, there is good news yet to hear
01:34:20 and fine things to be seen
01:34:22 before we go to paradise by way of Kensal Green.
01:34:27 I hope he drowns.
01:34:39 You can't hear me, Mr. Jimson, I know, but...
01:34:42 Michelangelo, Rembrandt, Blake...
01:34:47 You're one of them.
01:34:49 Just so you'd know.
01:34:51 [music]
01:34:53 [music]
01:34:56 [music]
01:34:58 [music]
01:35:00 [music]
01:35:02 [music]
01:35:05 [silence]
01:35:07 [silence]
01:35:09 [silence]