Top 10 Most Memorable Seinfeld Girlfriends
How did they get so many dates? Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re looking at notable girlfriends that dated Jerry Seinfeld’s character on his classic sitcom.
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00:00 "I'm not stupid. I'm looking in that drawer, there's no can opener."
00:03 "Did I say you were stupid?"
00:05 "Well, wouldn't I have to be?"
00:07 Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're looking at notable girlfriends that dated Jerry Seinfeld's
00:12 character on his classic sitcom. We won't be including George's girlfriend Susan Ross for
00:16 this list.
00:17 "Boy, am I glad to see you."
00:18 "You're expecting someone else?"
00:20 "You never know."
00:21 Number 10. Beth Luckner.
00:24 "Jerry, I'm sorry to bother you, but you always said that you'd be there for me."
00:27 "Well, what's wrong?"
00:28 "I'm thinking of leaving Arnie."
00:30 "Talk to me."
00:31 There have been a lot of recognizable faces that have filtered in and out of the Seinfeld
00:35 universe as paramours of Jerry. Deborah Messing was one of those faces, portraying Beth Luckner
00:40 in two episodes.
00:41 "Well, wherever you are, I appreciate it."
00:44 One from season seven and another from season eight.
00:46 "Hey, what do you call a doctor who fails out of med school?"
00:50 "What?"
00:51 "A dentist."
00:51 Luckner dates Jerry in this latter episode, memorably titled "The Yada Yada," and the two
00:57 seem to be getting on pretty well. That is, of course, until Luckner's inner feelings about
01:01 certain types of people come out while the pair is attending a wedding.
01:04 "Not to mention the blacks and the Jews."
01:05 Jerry immediately dumps Beth when he learns of these feelings.
01:10 "Where's Beth?"
01:11 "She went out to get her head shaved."
01:12 Messing would go on to star in her own classic sitcom, Will & Grace.
01:16 "I love you."
01:17 "Love you."
01:17 Number nine. Sue Ellen Mischke.
01:20 "Hi, Elaine."
01:22 The character of Sue Ellen Mischke is something of an outlier on this list,
01:26 since although she did connect with Jerry, she has more of a relationship with Elaine.
01:30 "Hi."
01:31 "Oh, great."
01:33 This relationship, negative though it may be,
01:35 is so strong in fact that Elaine considers Sue Ellen to be her nemesis.
01:39 Much is made early on over Mischke's refusal to wear a bra.
01:44 "It doesn't fit."
01:45 As well as her connection to the O. Henry candy bar empire.
01:48 It's this combination of Jerry, Elaine, and Sue Ellen Mischke's romantic lives that ends up
01:53 causing her exit from the series as well, when it's revealed that Elaine
01:56 once had a relationship with Sue Ellen's fiance.
01:59 "You slept with the groom?"
02:01 Number eight. Rachel Goldstein.
02:11 "We better not."
02:12 Let's be honest, most girlfriend characters on Seinfeld were usually plot devices for an episode
02:18 and rarely stayed on for more than a couple of appearances at best.
02:21 This is why Rachel Goldstein stands out from the pack, since the character,
02:25 played by Melanie Smith, appeared in no less than four, count 'em, four episodes on the series.
02:30 We realize that Jerry is known for loving him and leaving him,
02:35 but Rachel feels like something different, something steady.
02:37 "The train was so crowded I had to sit in a seat facing the wrong way."
02:40 "No, I like that. It's like going back in time."
02:42 They famously make out during a screening of Schindler's List,
02:45 and it's Goldstein who accidentally catches George's shrinkage.
02:49 "Oh my god."
02:51 Jerry may not have been bummed out to see her go,
02:53 admitting that things usually even out for him, but we certainly were.
02:57 "Well, I don't think we should see each other anymore."
02:59 "Oh, that's okay."
03:00 Number seven. Meryl.
03:03 "You know, you're falling way behind on the 'I love you's."
03:05 The Seinfeld writers may not have cared enough about Meryl to give her a last name
03:09 during her one-and-done appearance on the show, but we'll never forget her.
03:12 "You bring your own syrup?"
03:13 "Got to. You got a lot to learn about pancakes."
03:16 Sure, this may be thanks to the fact that Meryl was played by Courtney freaking Cox,
03:19 but her appearance on the episode titled "The Wife" also makes us laugh every time.
03:24 Meryl's insistence at referring to herself as Jerry's spouse in order to receive a laundry
03:29 discount is hilarious, as is the couple's running tally of how many "I love you's" they've shared.
03:34 "I love you."
03:34 "Love you."
03:35 For our money, we think Meryl should have stuck around for a few more episodes.
03:38 What do you think?
03:39 "What happened to us, Jerry?"
03:41 Number six. Gwen.
03:42 "Hi, I'm Jerry."
03:43 "Hi."
03:44 "You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast."
03:48 The character of Gwen was another Seinfeld girlfriend without a last name,
03:52 but she actually made up for it by having another face.
03:54 "Hi."
03:55 Or at least, that's how George refers to her.
03:57 "What?"
03:58 A two-face who looks great in certain lights, but less attractive in others.
04:02 "I could go either way."
04:03 "You're telling me."
04:06 We admit that this plot device feels a bit dated in today's more body-positive climate,
04:11 but Seinfeld is such an irreverent show that it never feels truly mean-spirited.
04:15 Instead, this comedy of errors focuses more on Jerry and Gwen meeting at Monks all the time,
04:20 you know, for the lighting.
04:21 "Now this is a good-looking boot."
04:22 As well as how Gwen appears unrecognizable to Kramer.
04:26 It's sublimely silly stuff.
04:28 "Gwen, how did you know I was here?"
04:31 "Kramer told me."
04:32 "Another Festivus miracle!"
04:34 Number five. Laura the lip reader.
04:36 "What are you, deaf?"
04:37 "Bingo!"
04:39 Marlee Matlin is many things.
04:41 An advocate and champion for representation of the deaf community.
04:45 An acclaimed and Academy Award-winning actress.
04:47 An all-time beauty.
04:50 She's also one of the many women who've dated Jerry Seinfeld,
04:53 albeit briefly, in the episode titled, you guessed it, 'The Lip Reader'.
04:57 "That couple is breaking up."
04:58 "They're breaking up? How do you know?"
05:03 "She reads lips."
05:04 "What are they saying now?"
05:07 Matlin portrayed a tennis lines woman that dated Jerry,
05:10 who was impressed by her ability to read lips.
05:12 "It's not a novelty act, George, that you hire out for weddings and bar mitzvahs."
05:18 This initial appreciation quickly turns to paranoia, however.
05:21 And it isn't long before Jerry dumps Laura the lip reader
05:24 and moves on to greener pastures.
05:26 "Thus ends the great ball made experiment."
05:30 Boo, Jerry.
05:31 Number four. Marla Penny.
05:33 "Well, let me tell you what I see."
05:34 "Please, and be brutal. I have no closet sensitivity."
05:37 "Are you very fussy about your pants?"
05:41 "I don't think I am."
05:42 Actress Jane Leaves initially made her mark with brief appearances on
05:45 the Benny Hill Show and Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
05:48 Her talent and beauty eventually led her from her native England to America,
05:52 where she stopped off at Seinfeld before nabbing her own recurring sitcom role on Frasier.
05:57 "Are you going to want to leave after it's over? You know, if we have sex."
06:01 "What? Leave? Where? Why?"
06:04 Leaves' character of Marla Penny was a virgin when she met Jerry.
06:08 "I'm a virgin."
06:11 But soon left the comedian after finding out about his, ahem, contest with his friends.
06:16 Penny would later shack up with John F. Kennedy Jr., of all people,
06:19 and even returned for the divisive series finale.
06:22 "Maybe I should be going."
06:24 Number three. Dolores.
06:26 "Signs smell?"
06:27 "Yeah."
06:28 It's one of the most memorable running gags in Seinfeld history.
06:31 "Dolores!"
06:32 As well as perhaps the greatest final freeze frame to boot.
06:36 On the one hand, it's sort of insulting that Jerry is actually dating Dolores,
06:39 but can't even be bothered to remember her first name.
06:42 "You don't know my name, do you?"
06:43 "Yes, I do."
06:46 "What is it?"
06:48 "It rhymes with a female body part."
06:51 "What is it?"
06:53 "Mulva?"
06:56 Spoiler alert, she doesn't have a last name.
07:00 Then again, the joy is in the journey, as the gang attempts to jog Jerry's memory,
07:04 knowing only that Dolores' name rhymes with a certain part of the female anatomy.
07:08 "I don't know the name of this woman in the bathroom."
07:10 "So when she comes out, you introduce yourself, and then she'll be forced to say her name."
07:14 The episode runs through a lot of proposed names,
07:17 from Mulva to Bovary to Celeste and Gipple.
07:20 "Gipple?"
07:20 "Loliola?"
07:27 But it's only at the finale where Jerry screams out his girlfriend's name
07:30 from his apartment window.
07:32 "Oh! Oh!"
07:33 "Dolores!"
07:37 "Dolores!"
07:38 Number 2 - Jeannie Steinman
07:41 It was the character of Jeannie Steinman that initially led to Jerry Seinfeld
07:47 actually proposing marriage.
07:49 "Will you marry me?"
07:50 After the former saves the comic from being hit by a car.
07:53 "God, you saved my life."
07:54 "Won't there be some kind of reward for that?"
07:56 Jerry is head over heels about Jeannie,
07:59 noticing that they share the same initials, as well as many of the same interests.
08:03 However, this looming gray cloud of self-loathing eventually comes over Jerry
08:07 when he realizes that he simply can't be with a person who's exactly like him.
08:11 "I hate you!"
08:12 There's honestly a lot to unpack when it comes to the dissolution of the pair's engagement,
08:18 but we absolutely loved seeing Janine Garofalo on this show.
08:22 Before we unveil our top pick, here are some honorable mentions.
08:26 Jillian - her manhands end up a deal breaker.
08:29 "You have a little something on your face."
08:31 "I can get it."
08:32 "No, no, no, no, you're missing it. It's higher."
08:36 Sheila - is Schmoopy the best or worst pet name?
08:40 "Hi Schmoopy!"
08:41 "No, you're Schmoopy!"
08:42 "You're Schmoopy!"
08:43 "Darling."
08:44 Lois - Jerry can't stop the Superman references.
08:47 "Ready to go, Lois?"
08:48 "Boy, you sure like to say my name, don't you?"
08:52 Sergeant Kathy Tierney - doesn't like Jerry's act and takes no guff.
08:56 "All right, let me ask you now, when someone is lying,
08:58 is it true that their pants are actually on fire?"
09:01 "If I can't get it, I'm sorry."
09:05 "If I could tell you, the famous faces that have been up here."
09:07 "Get out."
09:08 Jane - Elaine refuses to spare a square for Jane.
09:12 "She wouldn't stop. Help me, help me. She was insane."
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09:33 Number 1 - Sidra Holland
09:35 "Hi, Jerry."
09:36 "Oh, hi, Sidra."
09:37 The success of Seinfeld allowed for a number of its jokes and gags to enter the public
09:41 consciousness. However, most of them were uttered by the core gang of Jerry, Elaine,
09:46 Kramer or George.
09:47 "It's like finding out Mickey Mantle corked his butt."
09:49 Terry Hatcher's Sidra Holland was a pleasant and notable outlier to this trend,
09:53 uttering one of the sitcom's most famous lines full stop.
09:57 The bulk of Sidra Holland's screen time is associated with her breasts.
10:00 "Whoa, doctor."
10:03 Specifically, the question of whether they're natural or surgically enhanced.
10:06 "You've dated women with nose jobs, what's the difference?"
10:09 "You don't touch the nose."
10:11 Sidra and Jerry's relationship is off and on during this episode.
10:15 But it's Holland that ultimately has the last laugh when she reveals to Jerry,
10:19 "They're real and they're spectacular."
10:22 What's your favorite episode of Seinfeld? Let us know in the comments.
10:27 "I'm Donna Chen."
10:28 "What do you mean?"
10:32 "I mean, I'm Donna Chang."
10:34 "You're Donna Chang?"
10:36 "Did you think I was Chinese?"
10:38 "Oh, no, what, you mean because of the Chang?"
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10:51 [Music]