Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [ Music ]
00:00:13 Love, love exciting and new, come aboard, we're expecting you.
00:00:28 When love, love is like sweetest reward, let it flow, it flows back to you.
00:00:44 The love boat, soon we'll be making another round. The love boat, promises something for everyone.
00:00:59 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. And love, love won't hurt anymore.
00:01:14 It's an open time, on a friendly shore. The love boat, soon we'll be making another round.
00:01:31 Welcome aboard in love. Welcome aboard in love.
00:01:41 [ Music ]
00:01:57 Are you sure you wouldn't like any coffee?
00:01:59 No.
00:02:01 I'm sorry. Mr. Thorne is not going to see you, Miss York.
00:02:05 It's Mrs. York.
00:02:07 Oh, excuse me.
00:02:08 I think he will. We are talking about a hundred million dollar real estate deal here.
00:02:14 I'm not in the habit of doing business with a man unless I can look him in the eye.
00:02:18 They're locked.
00:02:22 Mr. Thorne, Mrs. York insists on meeting with you face to face.
00:02:28 Yes, I told her that. Several times.
00:02:33 He wants to speak with you. Just talk into the speaker.
00:02:42 Mr. Thorne, look, we are going to do business together, but I don't do business unless I can meet someone in the flesh.
00:02:51 You see, I don't do my best work over the phone.
00:02:55 I'm going to say this just once, so listen closely.
00:02:58 I do business on my own terms. Being rich can buy many things, and I have bought my privacy, which is total.
00:03:05 If you don't want to do business my way, then do it with someone else.
00:03:10 Would you like some coffee?
00:03:12 No, thank you.
00:03:15 Just as well. Someone as irritable as that shouldn't drink coffee.
00:03:19 Mr. Thorne wants these mailed right away.
00:03:21 Okay.
00:03:22 Too sweet.
00:03:26 Mr. Robert McPryde, 553 Evanswood Place, San Francisco, California.
00:03:33 Mr. George Tillman, Post Office Box 493, Kansas City, Kansas.
00:03:41 Mr. Allen Davis, 2939 Morrison Street, Los Angeles, California.
00:03:59 And Mr. Jeff Gilbert, 29033 South Cathedral Street, Flagstaff, Arizona.
00:04:18 MacGuffin Travel Service? I don't think I've heard of that one.
00:04:21 Oh, well, this is new. They sent me this cruise free as part of some promotional gimmick.
00:04:25 Pretty impressive gimmick. Well, you're first class the whole way, Mr. McPryde.
00:04:30 Mr. McPryde is on the Aloha Deck, cabin 364.
00:04:35 No, no, it's all right. I'll take this one myself.
00:04:47 This is a historic moment in my life. I get to meet the legendary Maxwell Thorne.
00:04:52 Don't get your hopes up.
00:04:54 No one has seen him in public for 25 years. What makes you think you'll see him today?
00:04:57 Yeah, sure. He'll come in a disguise. I know that. But I have an advantage.
00:05:01 My uncle used to do business with Mr. Thorne. They were like that, very close.
00:05:05 Yeah, he described him to me many times.
00:05:07 He's a tall, powerful man with jet black hair, which would by now be gray.
00:05:12 Just a hint of a Texas accent and an impeccable dress.
00:05:22 Excuse me, Mr. Thorne, welcome aboard.
00:05:25 My name isn't Thorne. It's Tillman, George Tillman.
00:05:29 Right, Tillman. You'll be staying in the presidential suite.
00:05:34 I don't think so. I won this free cruise, but I don't think it's for the presidential suite.
00:05:42 George Tillman, that's your real name?
00:05:45 For as long as I remember.
00:05:47 OK, you can check in at the purser's desk right through there.
00:05:51 Yeah. Mr. Thorne?
00:05:54 No. You do a big TV series, still they don't know who you are.
00:06:04 It wasn't him either.
00:06:15 Excuse me, do you know which way aft is?
00:06:18 Yeah, that way. First cruise?
00:06:20 Yes.
00:06:21 I'm Adam Bricker, ship's doctor.
00:06:22 Alan Davis. Thanks for the directions.
00:06:24 Oh, don't mention it. You'll get adjusted pretty quickly. Only took me five years.
00:06:30 Excuse me. I understand Maxwell Thorne is on board.
00:06:34 Gosh, I'd give anything to meet him.
00:06:37 I like those terms. Why don't we go somewhere quiet and discuss it?
00:06:44 Hello, welcome aboard.
00:06:46 You are me, Archer!
00:06:48 And this is my wife, Selma.
00:06:49 How do you do? I'm so glad you're on this cruise. I can't wait to hear all the Hollywood gossip.
00:06:54 When we're on vacation, he can't even mention the word Hollywood.
00:06:58 Sorry.
00:06:59 Well, enjoy your cruise.
00:07:00 Thank you.
00:07:02 Leslie Oghams, Tina Louise.
00:07:03 Is that you?
00:07:04 Oh, we should do lunch.
00:07:06 We'll call you.
00:07:07 Bye bye.
00:07:12 Let's get the show on the road.
00:07:15 Hello.
00:07:16 Yes, Jessica and Sarah York.
00:07:18 Welcome aboard.
00:07:19 Thank you.
00:07:20 Could we move things along quickly, please?
00:07:22 Sure thing.
00:07:24 I don't know why we had to waste time coming along on this cruise when one meeting would have tied things up just fine.
00:07:30 Mother, you almost blew this deal with Maxwell Thorne. We're just lucky that I was able to arrange this.
00:07:35 Well, it's crazy, honey. It's just crazy. I mean, a one week cruise for a half hour meeting? It doesn't make sense.
00:07:43 I should never have sent you to that finish at school in the East.
00:07:49 Welcome aboard.
00:07:50 Thank you, Captain.
00:07:52 Ace.
00:07:53 Oh, welcome aboard.
00:07:54 I'm Irene Culver, Maxwell Thorne's personal secretary.
00:07:58 What?
00:07:59 I'm Merle Stubing and this is Purser Evans.
00:08:01 How do you do?
00:08:02 Where is Mr. Thorne? Isn't he coming?
00:08:04 Oh, he's already on board.
00:08:06 How?
00:08:08 Well, Mr. Thorne has many ways of not being recognized. He's very clever.
00:08:12 Well, I hope you enjoy the cruise, Miss Culver.
00:08:14 Thank you. I intend to. Mr. Thorne might like to keep to himself, but when I'm not working, I like to party.
00:08:22 Oh, pardon me, sir. Have you seen my aunt, Sylvia?
00:08:25 I'm afraid I haven't.
00:08:26 Well, if you see her, please tell her I'm looking for her.
00:08:28 All right.
00:08:29 Thank you.
00:08:30 Maybe Thorne was in the luggage.
00:08:31 Ace.
00:08:32 I'll bet he was at Nunn that came on early.
00:08:34 Ace, let it go.
00:08:35 That was it. He was the Nunn.
00:08:41 Wait, can I help you with that?
00:08:43 Here.
00:08:44 Yes. Thank you.
00:08:46 Heavy.
00:08:47 Yeah. I hope this is my room.
00:08:53 Is that your key?
00:08:54 Yeah, it works.
00:08:59 Here.
00:09:00 I got it. I got it.
00:09:01 Thank you.
00:09:04 Come on.
00:09:06 Oh.
00:09:08 Whew.
00:09:09 Well, I'll take it.
00:09:11 Thanks.
00:09:14 I'm Robert McBride.
00:09:16 Margaret Grant.
00:09:18 Well, you cruising alone?
00:09:20 Yes, yeah.
00:09:22 Me too.
00:09:23 Oh.
00:09:25 I hear there's this real famous billionaire on board this time.
00:09:28 Ah.
00:09:29 Yeah. You him?
00:09:30 No, no.
00:09:34 Well, I'll go now. And there might be some other people out there need help with their luggage.
00:09:39 Yeah, right.
00:09:41 So, thanks again.
00:09:43 You have fun?
00:09:44 Yeah, you too.
00:09:45 Okay.
00:09:59 Julie, I almost didn't make it.
00:10:01 Oh, Aunt Sylvia, I was so worried.
00:10:03 Oh, I wouldn't miss this trip for the world.
00:10:06 Good. You're going to love this cruise.
00:10:08 The billionaire Maxwell Thorne is here on board.
00:10:10 Oh, that pig.
00:10:12 He financed a play I did and he closed it in two days.
00:10:15 I wouldn't be caught dead on the same cruise with him.
00:10:21 Maybe next time?
00:10:23 Oh, Aunt Sylvia.
00:10:26 [Music]
00:10:32 [Music]
00:10:38 [Music]
00:10:44 [Music]
00:10:50 [Music]
00:10:56 [Music]
00:11:04 [Music]
00:11:16 Well, we're out of port and headed for the high seas.
00:11:19 No matter how many times I do it, it's always exciting.
00:11:22 Oh, I'm happy for you.
00:11:24 So, what do you say? We get our swimsuits on and take a swim and then go for a sauna and have an early buffet?
00:11:30 Merrill, I have no life.
00:11:32 We just left port. Things will pick up.
00:11:34 No, I mean, I've just got to find something constructive to do with my time.
00:11:38 I mean, all I do on these cruises is lie in the sun and eat.
00:11:41 No, what do you want to do?
00:11:43 I don't know. See, that's my problem.
00:11:46 How about a hobby? I know a captain's wife collects buttons.
00:11:50 Merrill, I can do better than that.
00:11:52 Why don't we do something together?
00:11:54 No, no, you've got your work to do. I've got to find something that's all my own.
00:12:00 Okay, I understand.
00:12:03 Does this mean I have to go to the buffet by myself?
00:12:07 [Music]
00:12:13 Sarah?
00:12:16 Alan, what are you doing here?
00:12:19 Well, looking for you. You can bet on that.
00:12:22 Well, I don't suppose that we got adjoining cabins by chance.
00:12:27 Maybe somebody's playing a bad joke on us.
00:12:30 I'm not laughing.
00:12:33 [Music]
00:12:52 Hello, Isaac. Hi.
00:12:54 Club soda, please.
00:12:55 Are you enjoying the cruise, Mr. Burrell?
00:12:57 Julie, we know each other for a long time. You can call me Mr. Television.
00:13:02 You know, at my house, we used to call you Mr. Tuesday Night.
00:13:05 Really? At my house, that's what my wife still calls me.
00:13:09 [Laughter]
00:13:12 Thank you. You look beautiful today, Julie.
00:13:15 Thank you.
00:13:17 [Music]
00:13:21 Oh, gosh. Wait till I tell my dad that Uncle Miltie almost said hello to me.
00:13:26 Hello, Miss McCoy.
00:13:27 Oh, hello, Mr. McBride.
00:13:29 What a nice man. I'm really glad he won this trip.
00:13:33 He won this cruise?
00:13:34 Mm-hmm. Some travel agency gave it to him as a promotion.
00:13:37 That's funny. A guy named Tillman won a free trip, too.
00:13:40 No, it wasn't Tillman. It was a guy named Jackson that won the free cruise.
00:13:43 No, the guy I talked to, his name was George Tillman.
00:13:45 I remember because at first I thought he was...
00:13:50 Well, I just remember.
00:13:52 [Laughter]
00:13:54 [Music]
00:13:57 Well, so, hello.
00:13:59 Oh, hello, um...
00:14:02 Margaret Grant.
00:14:04 Sorry, I'm terrible with names.
00:14:07 Yeah, well, it's a good thing I'm not shy, isn't it?
00:14:10 Isn't it?
00:14:11 Oh, yes, sure.
00:14:14 So, going all the way to Acapulco, huh?
00:14:16 Oh, I guess so. Can't swim that far.
00:14:19 Yeah, I like this. This is what I like, a guy with a sense of humor.
00:14:23 Why don't we have dinner tonight, see where it leads?
00:14:25 Well, you don't waste any time, do you?
00:14:27 No, well, you see, Robert, let's face it. We're not kids anymore.
00:14:31 So, why don't we just go, we'll have dinner, and after one dinner, we'll know.
00:14:35 If it doesn't work out, we can move on.
00:14:38 Huh? Yeah.
00:14:41 [Music]
00:14:47 I'm sorry, Miss York, but I can't move Mr. Davis to another cabin.
00:14:50 Why not? You're the purser, aren't you?
00:14:52 Yes, I am, but Mr. Davis' ticket was paid for by MacGuffin Travel Service, and they stipulated that cabin.
00:14:58 Great. I can't believe this is happening.
00:15:00 Why don't you move, sweetheart?
00:15:01 That was my next idea.
00:15:03 Well, the two of you could switch cabins, but that wouldn't solve your problem, would it?
00:15:06 Sarah, what happened between you and me was a long time ago.
00:15:09 Not long enough.
00:15:10 Why don't you relax? This is a big ship.
00:15:13 If we play our cards right, we could get through this whole trip without ever once seeing each other.
00:15:19 I take it the two of you have met before.
00:15:23 MacGuffin Travel Service.
00:15:26 Isaac, Isaac, something very strange is going on.
00:15:30 Four people on board this cruise won free trips from MacGuffin Travel Service.
00:15:34 So?
00:15:35 So don't you see what's happening?
00:15:38 No.
00:15:39 Shoot. I was hoping you would. I don't get it either.
00:15:43 Ace, travel agencies do this sort of thing all the time.
00:15:47 I know, but all these people seem to have won a contest they never entered.
00:15:50 I think that's pretty strange.
00:15:53 I think you're pretty strange.
00:15:55 What are you trying to say?
00:15:57 All I'm trying to say is that you're making a mountain out of a mohill.
00:16:00 Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
00:16:02 Well, if nobody did that, we wouldn't have any mountains, would we?
00:16:06 Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
00:16:10 [The End]
00:16:13 [The End]
00:16:19 Your attention, please. I'd like to recognize a celebrity in our midst.
00:16:26 Emily Steubing is the winner of our first day at sea shuffleboard tournament.
00:16:30 [Applause]
00:16:33 Well, thank you. Of course, I couldn't accept the trophy because I am the relative of a ship's employee.
00:16:39 Oh, Emily, a championship is a championship, trophy or not.
00:16:43 Wine steward, champagne.
00:16:47 Do you feel fulfilled yet?
00:16:49 Well, it's going to take more than one day, Merrill.
00:16:51 Oh. Well, let me know when you do.
00:16:54 Miss Culver.
00:16:55 Irene.
00:16:56 Irene, why would a man who has everything like Mr. Thorne want to become a total reckless?
00:17:01 Well, I have two theories. Either he was disappointed in love or he just got tired of people asking him how rich he is.
00:17:09 How rich is he?
00:17:10 Vicky, that's not the kind of thing you ask someone.
00:17:14 Unless, of course, Miss Culver would like to tell us.
00:17:17 Well, it's hard to keep up. You know, when he decided to take this trip, he was torn as to whether to buy a ticket or the ship.
00:17:24 [Murmuring]
00:17:28 You really must watch your diet.
00:17:29 You're absolutely right.
00:17:31 Happy anniversary compliments of the Pacific Princess.
00:17:34 Oh, no, but it's not our anniversary.
00:17:37 No.
00:17:38 Happy birthday compliments of the Pacific Princess.
00:17:41 No, we're about two months away from that.
00:17:43 Yes.
00:17:44 Close enough.
00:17:47 Oh, Isaac, if you should happen to see the waiter, would you tell him that we don't use cream?
00:17:52 We only use...
00:17:54 You know, my husband said to me, "I think I'd like to take a little vacation from this marriage."
00:17:59 You know what I said to him?
00:18:00 Hmm.
00:18:01 "Hey, Frank, why don't you take a big vacation from this marriage?"
00:18:06 Which, by the way, he did. He went to Tahiti with his girlfriend, who fit in perfectly because she was a topless dancer when he met her.
00:18:12 Nice.
00:18:15 Then, after trying to work it out for seven years, I became a legal secretary for the lawyer that handled my divorce.
00:18:21 Then I got to take my first vacation, which is this cruise.
00:18:27 And I met a potentially interesting man, which is you, and I ordered the fillet of soul.
00:18:36 And I stopped trying to be Maggie.
00:18:38 And that's the story of Margaret Grant in five minutes, and it's your turn.
00:18:43 Well, I'm sorry, but I just have not led a very interesting life.
00:18:47 Come on.
00:18:48 I was an accountant until I quit my job a few months ago.
00:18:53 I refuse to believe a good-looking guy like you has not had exciting things happen in his life.
00:19:00 Well, it's true.
00:19:02 As a matter of fact, the most exciting thing that ever happened to me was winning this cruise.
00:19:06 I didn't even enter a contest. It just showed up in the mail.
00:19:09 Oh, you see? There. That's a start, okay?
00:19:14 I'll tell you what.
00:19:17 You stick with me, and I will make this trip the most memorable experience in your life.
00:19:25 Oh.
00:19:26 Unless you have a heart condition.
00:19:29 [Sighs]
00:19:32 [Sizzling]
00:19:35 [Sizzling]
00:19:39 [Sizzling]
00:19:43 [Sizzling]
00:20:09 [Gasps]
00:20:10 What are you doing in my cabin?
00:20:12 I'm not in your cabin. I'm in my cabin.
00:20:15 Someone seems to have taken our wall.
00:20:17 Well, put it back.
00:20:18 I didn't take it.
00:20:19 Oh, come off it, Alan. It's just like you to do something like this.
00:20:23 Hello. This is Alan Davis. I'd like to report a missing wall.
00:20:32 Hello. This is Sarah York. Someone has stolen my wall.
00:20:34 Not a wallet. A wall.
00:20:36 No, I'm not drunk.
00:20:37 Excuse me. Would you let me handle this, please?
00:20:39 I think we have two very confused people on the switchboard.
00:20:42 Never mind.
00:20:43 Thank you.
00:20:45 I'm in Aloha 156.
00:20:47 Apparently, someone has removed the partition that converts the cabins into a two-bedroom suite.
00:20:52 I would like it replaced tonight, please.
00:20:55 Because there is a semi-nude woman standing here who looks like she could be dangerous.
00:21:00 Well, can't you wake somebody up?
00:21:03 Right. Okay. Good night.
00:21:05 They can't do it until tomorrow morning.
00:21:07 Well, you'll just have to find some place to sleep tonight.
00:21:11 I have a place to sleep.
00:21:12 You can't sleep there.
00:21:14 Why not?
00:21:15 Well, because. And I wish you wouldn't do that.
00:21:18 Do what?
00:21:19 You know what. Stop taking your clothes off.
00:21:21 Oh, I'm going to bed. I always take all my clothes off right before going to bed.
00:21:26 Look, if you don't approve, why don't you find somewhere else to sleep?
00:21:30 Well, if you were a gentleman...
00:21:32 But why would I expect you to be a gentleman?
00:21:34 I can't imagine what I ever saw in you. I must have been out of my mind.
00:21:37 You're still beautiful.
00:21:38 And you're still an animal.
00:21:40 Now get out of my room.
00:21:41 You're in my room. You crossed the magic threshold in case you hadn't noticed.
00:21:45 And in case you get any ideas, I want you to know that I am sleeping with a very sharp fingernail file.
00:21:57 Well, don't worry. If I get any ideas, they certainly won't include you.
00:22:01 I thought you were watching the kids.
00:22:15 Mike, it's your day to watch the kids.
00:22:17 Will you relax, Carol? They're all grown up anyway.
00:22:20 Oh, hello, Mr. Evans.
00:22:28 Ace.
00:22:29 Oh, Ace. Come in.
00:22:31 Oh, I didn't expect to find you here.
00:22:34 Oh, well, Mr. Thorne works day and night, even when he's on vacation.
00:22:39 As long as he's up.
00:22:41 Could I see him? I know. I know he's a very private man.
00:22:43 Private? You're being kind. My boss is a recluse.
00:22:48 He may be a little mad, but when you're rich, people forgive you things like that.
00:22:53 You know, my uncle and Mr. Thorne are very old and dear friends.
00:22:56 Oh, really?
00:22:58 Maybe you've met him.
00:23:00 Marshall Evans, textile magnate, international banker, Olympic pistol champion.
00:23:06 I remember Marsh. Yes, he and Mr. Thorne did some business years ago.
00:23:11 Yeah. When I was a little kid, my uncle used to tell me all about him, how they go duck hunting and fishing together.
00:23:18 Oh, well, they're big buddies. Oh, that's nice.
00:23:20 Yeah.
00:23:22 You know, I was wondering, since he's on the ship, my uncle would skin me alive if I didn't stop by and at least say hi to him.
00:23:28 I'm afraid that's impossible.
00:23:30 I've heard the publicity. That's not really true, is it?
00:23:32 Oh, yes. I am the only human being he talks to face to face.
00:23:38 Oh, well, couldn't you just ask him?
00:23:43 All right. But I know what he's going to say.
00:23:47 Great. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
00:23:52 Mr. Thorne. Mr. Thorne, there's a young man here to see you.
00:23:56 Who is it?
00:23:57 It's Ashley.
00:23:59 It's Ashley Evans. He's the nephew of Marshall Evans.
00:24:03 They used to go duck hunting together.
00:24:05 Oh, yeah. You used to go duck hunting together.
00:24:08 I've told you a hundred times I don't want to see anybody. I don't care who it is.
00:24:13 Thank you, Mr. Thorne.
00:24:16 I'm sorry. He's just too busy.
00:24:19 Yeah, I heard.
00:24:21 Yes. Well, then I'm especially sorry. He's just no fun anymore.
00:24:24 Oh, I understand.
00:24:26 But you can tell your uncle hello from me.
00:24:28 Yeah, sure. He gets to meet everybody famous. The Kennedys, Queen Elizabeth.
00:24:33 You know, once he went water skiing with Warren Beatty.
00:24:35 Oh, that must have been fun.
00:24:36 I know. Oh, yeah.
00:24:39 [music]
00:24:55 Ladies and gentlemen, our ping pong champion, Emily Steubing.
00:25:00 But since she's our captain's wife and can't compete officially,
00:25:03 the trophy goes to our first runner-up, Mr. Howard Pfister.
00:25:07 Thank you. Congratulations, Mr. Pfister.
00:25:11 Thank you very much.
00:25:13 If you don't mind, I'm going to go lie down for a while.
00:25:16 How about that? Ping pong champion of the entire ship.
00:25:21 I bet it was fulfilling even without the trophy.
00:25:24 Well, the thrill of victory wasn't quite what I hoped it would be.
00:25:26 There's got to be more.
00:25:28 But he's a cute guy. I'm glad he won.
00:25:32 I don't care what Dad says. I'm a grown woman. I don't want to go to the party.
00:25:36 Now, now, dear. Always remember, father knows best.
00:25:44 Isaac, can we talk?
00:25:46 Sure. I've only got 17 drink orders to fill. I've got plenty of time.
00:25:49 Good. Something very strange is happening on the ship.
00:25:53 You said that yesterday.
00:25:54 I know. I was in Mr. Thorne's cabin.
00:25:56 You saw Maxwell Thorne?
00:25:59 Well, just to say hello. My uncle and he are very close.
00:26:02 Anyway, while I was there, I saw a list of names. On it were all the passengers who won free trips from MacGuffin Travel Service.
00:26:09 What does that mean to you?
00:26:11 I don't think it means anything.
00:26:15 It must mean something. Everything means something.
00:26:25 Poor thing. Wish you'd done better in your little ping pong tournament.
00:26:29 It's only a game. And I don't take it as seriously as the captain's wife.
00:26:32 She was out for blood, wasn't she?
00:26:34 Well, look where we are. We're right in front of your cabin.
00:26:41 I would ask you to show it to me, but we both know it looks exactly like mine. So, who would I be kidding?
00:26:48 You move very fast.
00:26:50 Yeah? Too fast?
00:26:54 Good thing I didn't make this offer last night.
00:26:56 Okay, all right, I'll slow down. We'll have dinner again tonight, and then you'll show me your cabin.
00:27:02 All right, I ought to be rested by then.
00:27:04 Yeah.
00:27:07 Hey.
00:27:21 Well, maybe I'd better call room service and order some vitamin B.
00:27:50 Could you mail these for me, please?
00:27:51 Yeah. Mr. Gilbert, didn't you win this cruise from MacGuffin Travel Services?
00:27:56 Yeah, yeah, that's right.
00:27:58 Yeah. You wouldn't by any chance know Maxwell Thorne, would you?
00:28:03 No, I don't know him. But I'll tell you this, I hate his guts.
00:28:08 You hate a man you don't even know?
00:28:10 I spent 20 years working in one of his chemical plants, and you know what it got me?
00:28:14 A pair of bad lungs that hardly work in their early retirement.
00:28:18 She'll suit him.
00:28:20 But I know it wouldn't be any match for his hot shot lawyers.
00:28:24 Well, have a nice day.
00:28:28 Yeah, sure.
00:28:37 Excuse me, excuse me, but I have this tremendous urge to go up on deck and dance.
00:28:41 Would anyone care to join me?
00:28:50 Relax, Mother. Mr. Thorne said that he'd meet with us.
00:28:53 I'm sure he didn't become one of the richest men in the world by playing practical jokes on people.
00:28:56 Well, the whole trip's a wild goose chase.
00:28:59 As soon as we get to Alcapulco, we're going to take the first plane back to Houston.
00:29:03 Try to find some new financing.
00:29:07 Oh, hi, Al. Through with dinner already?
00:29:09 Actually, I'm having a little trouble. My table seems to have disappeared.
00:29:13 Souvenir hounds, they're everywhere.
00:29:15 No, really. I was assigned table 17, and tonight it's not there anymore.
00:29:19 Well, we haven't passed through the Bermuda Triangle. Let me check with the maid of date.
00:29:23 Excuse me, Mr. Davis can't seem to find his table.
00:29:27 Oh, well, what do I look like? Skyline Yard?
00:29:30 The Davis. Let's see.
00:29:32 Oh, you're Patty Davis. Marvin Davis?
00:29:35 Uh-huh, here it is. Alan Davis.
00:29:37 42.
00:29:39 I'll show you the way. It'll be good practice in case I ever want a second career as a maid of date.
00:29:47 Here we are. Now, if you lose this one, you'll have to eat in your room.
00:29:52 What? What are you doing here?
00:29:54 I've been assigned to this table.
00:29:56 Why don't you leave my daughter alone?
00:29:59 Me? Yes.
00:30:00 Can't you see what she's doing?
00:30:01 Me? I didn't arrange any of this.
00:30:03 Oh, come on. I'm a teacher. I have a logical mind.
00:30:06 I can figure these things out.
00:30:08 Well, figure this out. If you think your sophomoric maneuver is going to get me back into your bed, well, you're crazy.
00:30:14 Sarah?
00:30:17 Don't pay any attention to us. We're rehearsing a play.
00:30:21 Ah, prime rib looks good, doesn't it?
00:30:24 Mom, they're actors. Maybe they can help me get into show business.
00:30:27 Why don't you get a real job, squirt?
00:30:29 Boys, stop fighting and eat your vegetables.
00:30:42 Hmm. You know, Isaac, I've spoken with all the people who won free cruises and none of them know each other.
00:30:48 Except two of them have worked for Mr. Thorne.
00:30:51 Robert McBride was an accountant for his holding company and Jeff Gilbert worked in a chemical plant that Thorne owns.
00:30:58 You got nothing.
00:30:59 Yeah, that's what I thought until I made a few phone calls.
00:31:01 And then I found out that one of the many companies that Thorne owns is McGuffin Travel Service.
00:31:06 Oh, there you go. That explains the list. Case closed.
00:31:10 Except for one little thing. McGuffin Travel Service has no phone listing, no offices, no desk, no employees.
00:31:17 It appears the entire company was formed just to give these people free tickets on this cruise.
00:31:22 How'd you get all this information?
00:31:24 I called my father's secretary. She can find out anything.
00:31:27 That's all you got?
00:31:30 Well, yeah.
00:31:31 Then can we go eat now?
00:31:41 Isaac, Isaac, this is George Tillman. His name was on Thorne's list.
00:31:46 Why would a billionaire like Maxwell Thorne want to give a free cruise to an out-of-work engineer?
00:31:51 Unless, unless it was part of a larger plot.
00:31:56 Maybe Thorne needs help with his math homework.
00:32:00 Oh, great. You're scoffing at me, aren't you?
00:32:02 I got it. Thorne is planning to kidnap the entire world's population, six people at a time.
00:32:08 I was hoping you'd help me with this one.
00:32:15 Let me handle this. I'm a doctor.
00:32:20 Doesn't seem to be a heart attack. Help me get him to the infirmary. Do you know the way?
00:32:23 Yes, I know the way. Now, do you believe me?
00:32:39 Dad, if Emily hits this one, she'll win the match.
00:32:41 It won't make any difference. She still won't be fulfilled.
00:32:44 Oh, come on, Dad. You're underestimating her.
00:32:46 You think so? Watch.
00:32:49 Let her fly.
00:32:52 All right! Yay!
00:32:57 Congratulations.
00:32:59 You know, something has been bothering me. You look so familiar. Have you ever been to Milwaukee?
00:33:05 Been there? I lived there for 11 years.
00:33:08 Really?
00:33:09 But I don't remember you.
00:33:14 Hey, congratulations. Good shooting.
00:33:16 Yeah, I suppose so.
00:33:17 So, what's next, sweetheart?
00:33:18 Bridge. I think I'm going to try bridge.
00:33:21 Okay.
00:33:28 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to exciting Acapulco.
00:33:31 Whether you're interested in parasailing, sightseeing, or finding an out-of-the-way shop for that one-of-a-kind souvenir,
00:33:36 we're sure you'll find it all in this Mexican paradise.
00:33:39 Have a wonderful day.
00:34:01 Miss Colvert?
00:34:03 Miss Colvert?
00:34:04 It's Ace Evans.
00:34:09 Mr. Thorne? Are you in there, sir?
00:34:17 Here we are. Master key.
00:34:22 Mr. Thorne?
00:34:48 Emily?
00:34:55 We need to talk.
00:34:57 I don't think you're making any progress.
00:35:00 Oh, Merrill, you're right. I'm still unfulfilled.
00:35:04 You know, I'm beginning to develop this real bad case of shuffleboard elbow.
00:35:08 Well, what would you do in Fresno, outside of running your trucking business?
00:35:12 You know, Merrill, I don't know what I did.
00:35:15 Well, I dabbled in this and that, but other than running my trucking business, I don't think I did anything else.
00:35:21 Emily, tell me the truth. Is it our marriage?
00:35:26 What?
00:35:27 It's me, isn't it? Our marriage is falling apart.
00:35:30 Well, I don't know.
00:35:32 What do you mean you don't know?
00:35:33 I mean, I don't know. I don't think it's our marriage.
00:35:36 You don't think it's our marriage? Well, obviously, I'm no help.
00:35:40 Look, why don't you talk to Vicki? She studied psychology.
00:35:43 Really? Well, that's a good idea.
00:35:46 Yeah, we'll go shopping and we'll have a nice, long talk.
00:35:50 Great. That should help.
00:35:52 Listen, Emily, when you talk to Vicki, don't tell her about our intimate private...
00:36:01 Oh, no, Merrill.
00:36:04 Good.
00:36:06 [music]
00:36:17 Can I ever get away from you?
00:36:20 You'll have to just suffer through it.
00:36:24 I don't want this.
00:36:27 We're stuck.
00:36:32 Hey, Doc.
00:36:33 Hey. How's George Tillman?
00:36:34 Oh, he's still in the infirmary. You know, I can't figure out what was wrong with him.
00:36:37 He was sick all night, but this morning he's fine.
00:36:40 Hmm. Could it have been poison?
00:36:43 Ace, what is it with you? Last night you called to ask me if he'd been shot.
00:36:47 This morning you're asking about poison.
00:36:49 You haven't been reading Nancy Drew again, have you?
00:36:54 Very interesting.
00:36:56 What's interesting? It's an elevator show.
00:36:58 Somebody stuck some gum on the bottom of the elevator. How'd they do that?
00:37:02 Gentlemen, could we hurry this up?
00:37:04 There are passengers in that elevator and they're missing the best shopping hours.
00:37:07 You want to fix this yourself?
00:37:11 I hope they get this thing fixed in the next couple of weeks.
00:37:14 I have to be home in time for midterms.
00:37:18 Why don't you sit down? This could take a while, you know.
00:37:22 I'll sit down when I want to sit down.
00:37:34 So, you've been pretty successful the last few years, huh?
00:37:38 Yeah, I've done all right.
00:37:41 Our fourth quarter profits are up 30% this year.
00:37:44 Last year we had a stock split.
00:37:46 And if we get this financing from Maxwell Thorne,
00:37:49 you'll be the sixth largest developer of commercial real estate in the entire Houston area.
00:37:53 I'm impressed.
00:37:54 No, you're not.
00:37:55 Yes, I am.
00:37:56 No, you're not.
00:37:58 Okay, I'm not.
00:38:08 Hello?
00:38:09 I know what you've done.
00:38:12 You won't get away.
00:38:13 Who is this?
00:38:39 And what have you been doing with your life?
00:38:41 Well, I can't say my fourth quarter profits compare to yours.
00:38:45 I've been working with underprivileged kids.
00:38:48 Trying to get the city to give us some money for a basketball program.
00:38:52 And I suppose that you find that to be rewarding?
00:38:55 It has its ups and downs.
00:38:58 Last week, one of the most promising kids was killed in a gang war.
00:39:03 Oh?
00:39:05 Yeah.
00:39:07 But another kid I've been working with, his name is Jose Sanchez.
00:39:10 He just qualified for a scholarship at UCLA.
00:39:14 Four years ago, he was stealing money for drugs.
00:39:18 Now it looks like he's going to make it.
00:39:21 So, like I say, it has its ups and downs.
00:39:30 Well, I think Jose beats my fourth quarter earnings.
00:39:45 This is our stop.
00:39:50 A working man comes through again.
00:40:02 They have a little salad.
00:40:04 Thank you.
00:40:06 I don't know what it is.
00:40:07 I just don't feel at home on the ship.
00:40:09 Well, why?
00:40:10 It's the captain's table and the captain's chair.
00:40:12 I'm just the captain's woman.
00:40:14 No matter what your father says, I feel like I'm just another one of the passengers.
00:40:18 But, Emily, you're not just another passenger.
00:40:21 You are the first lady of the Pacific Princess.
00:40:24 The first lady?
00:40:25 Yeah.
00:40:26 I like the sound of that.
00:40:32 When we get back, I want you to meet my very best girlfriend, Harleen Pierce.
00:40:38 She's not going to believe this.
00:40:40 I actually found romance on a luxury cruise.
00:40:46 I did find romance, didn't I?
00:40:49 Well, Margaret, these past few days have been great.
00:40:59 I think I've heard this before.
00:41:02 I'm too pushy, huh?
00:41:04 Scare men off?
00:41:07 Actually, I'm a lot better now.
00:41:09 You should have known me ten years ago.
00:41:11 Well, I wish I had.
00:41:13 Because it has nothing to do with you, Margaret.
00:41:15 It's just there's nothing I'd like better than to go back and meet your friend, your family, your dog.
00:41:22 I have a cat.
00:41:24 But I can't.
00:41:26 Why not?
00:41:28 Because when we get back, I'll be tying up a few details, and then I'm leaving the country.
00:41:35 So when you get back to the States?
00:41:38 I'm leaving for good.
00:42:01 You were such a strange man when I first met you.
00:42:04 What was so strange about taking you out to dinner?
00:42:06 I wanted to impress you.
00:42:08 Well, believe me, it was the first and only time that I've had dinner in a hot air balloon.
00:42:13 I wanted to stand out from the rest of the guys.
00:42:16 You sure did that.
00:42:17 It was an adventure, right?
00:42:19 We got lost.
00:42:21 Hey, it was my first time, too.
00:42:24 It was? You never told me that.
00:42:26 I thought if I did, you wouldn't trust me.
00:42:30 Oh, I trusted you.
00:42:33 Obviously too much.
00:42:35 Look, I have a feeling we shouldn't talk about the past anymore.
00:42:38 Let's skip right to the present.
00:42:41 I think that's a real good idea.
00:42:44 So what should we talk about?
00:42:48 Well, maybe we don't have much in common anymore.
00:42:51 Maybe not.
00:42:57 Well, it's time for lunch. I'm hungry.
00:43:00 Me too.
00:43:01 Well, look at that. We have hunger in common.
00:43:04 We could move up the ladder of basic animal needs and see where it goes.
00:43:08 Probably not as far as you think that it will.
00:43:21 Are you sure, Ace?
00:43:22 Afternoon, Captain Doc.
00:43:24 Afternoon.
00:43:25 Captain, I've got to talk to you.
00:43:27 I think there's something going on here that needs to come to your attention immediately.
00:43:30 What is it, Ace?
00:43:31 Captain, before Ace tells you his theory, I want you to know that I have absolutely nothing to do with this.
00:43:35 I'm just a guy trying to keep this man from going over the edge.
00:43:39 You remember the movie, Ten Little Indians? It's a murder mystery.
00:43:42 That was a book, wasn't it?
00:43:43 Yeah, it was a book and then it was a movie.
00:43:45 Gentlemen, what I'm trying to say is I think that's what's going on onboard this ship.
00:43:51 I believe that Maxwell Thorne has brought some people onboard this ship for the express purpose of doing them in.
00:43:59 Doing them in what?
00:44:01 Do you mean murdering them?
00:44:03 I know it sounds crazy.
00:44:04 It sounds crazy to me.
00:44:06 Same here.
00:44:07 Just hear me out.
00:44:08 Fact.
00:44:09 Maxwell Thorne owns MacGuffin Travel Service.
00:44:11 Fact.
00:44:12 There are six people onboard this ship who have been given free cruises from MacGuffin Travel Service.
00:44:16 Fact.
00:44:17 In Mr. Thorne's cabin there is a list of these people.
00:44:19 Fact.
00:44:20 Mr. George Tillman, passenger, is one of the names on that list.
00:44:23 Fact.
00:44:24 Mr. Tillman keeled over last night at dinner.
00:44:26 Cause?
00:44:28 Unknown.
00:44:29 Fact.
00:44:30 Mr. Tillman has been crossed off Thorne's list.
00:44:33 In blood red.
00:44:35 Crossed off in blood?
00:44:37 Well, it's actually red ink but the symbolism is there.
00:44:41 Ace, I hate to disappoint you but I discovered the reason why Mr. Tillman passed out at dinner.
00:44:47 He's allergic to shellfish.
00:44:49 He's never noticed it because you don't get a lot of shellfish in Kansas.
00:44:54 Ace, are you suggesting that Mr. Thorne tried to kill Mr. Tillman by force feeding him shellfish?
00:44:59 Did I mention I have nothing to do with this?
00:45:01 Fact.
00:45:02 If you are not out of my sight in ten seconds, you're in deep trouble.
00:45:06 Yes, sir.
00:45:07 Shellfish, huh?
00:45:11 Keep an eye on him, will you?
00:45:12 Yes, sir.
00:45:13 Just as long as we agree that this does not go on my permanent record.
00:45:18 [music]
00:45:32 Oh, Merrill, you ruined the surprise.
00:45:35 Oh, no.
00:45:36 I'm surprised.
00:45:39 Dad, isn't it wonderful? Emily found all this stuff in Acapulco.
00:45:43 Oh, imagine that.
00:45:44 We had to wait for a time when you were out of the cabin long enough so we could have all this stuff moved in.
00:45:48 Oh, Merrill, the most wonderful thing happened.
00:45:51 And I owe it all to Vicki.
00:45:53 She made me realize what it was.
00:45:56 What, what was?
00:45:57 What?
00:45:58 What, what was?
00:45:59 What I was after.
00:46:00 You know, I quit my trucking business to become a homemaker.
00:46:03 So I'm making our home.
00:46:05 Did you ever see anything like it in your whole life?
00:46:08 Uh, yes.
00:46:10 Once.
00:46:11 In Tijuana.
00:46:12 Don't you just love it?
00:46:13 Love?
00:46:14 Love is too small a word to express my feelings.
00:46:17 Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
00:46:19 Oh, and I'm so glad you're happy.
00:46:21 Well, I'd better get back to another bedroom.
00:46:23 Hasn't been changed.
00:46:24 A waterbed.
00:46:25 You want to see it?
00:46:26 No, no, I'll, uh, I'll see it later.
00:46:29 A waterbed.
00:46:33 On a ship.
00:46:34 [music]
00:46:40 We loved it.
00:46:41 I know.
00:46:42 [music]
00:46:49 I don't want to be here.
00:46:50 Isaac, I need you.
00:46:51 If we get caught, I want to be able to tell Mr. Thorne we're trying to surprise him with a complimentary bottle of champagne.
00:46:55 Okay.
00:46:56 [knocking]
00:46:57 Hello?
00:47:03 I hope prison isn't like it is in the movies.
00:47:06 [music]
00:47:21 This was right here.
00:47:22 Mr. Thorne, I'm begging you.
00:47:24 You've got to stop drinking.
00:47:26 Leave me alone, Irene.
00:47:27 I'm only trying to help.
00:47:29 Remember last year at Marrakesh?
00:47:31 You disappeared for three days.
00:47:33 We didn't know what had happened to you.
00:47:35 It was none of your business.
00:47:37 Just promise me you won't leave the cabin.
00:47:40 Irene, we're on a ship.
00:47:41 What can happen on a ship?
00:47:43 Oh, all right.
00:47:45 You're the boss.
00:47:46 That's right, I am the boss.
00:47:48 [liquid pouring]
00:47:49 Get me another drink.
00:47:50 [music]
00:47:57 Come on, let's get out of here.
00:47:59 Yeah, my thinking exactly.
00:48:01 So we brought him the wrong gift, huh?
00:48:03 Why do you keep saying "we"?
00:48:04 Come on.
00:48:05 [music]
00:48:14 Fine.
00:48:15 We got to talk.
00:48:17 I mean, all right.
00:48:18 Maybe "we" is the wrong word.
00:48:20 I got to talk.
00:48:23 Just not ready to give up on this relationship that easy.
00:48:27 What is it?
00:48:29 Did you hurt somebody or something?
00:48:31 Come on, you can tell me.
00:48:32 I can keep a secret.
00:48:34 No, I didn't murder somebody.
00:48:36 Thank goodness.
00:48:39 You're running away from a wife, that's it, isn't it?
00:48:42 Never been married.
00:48:44 So, if you didn't murder anybody and you're not running away from a wife,
00:48:47 it can't be that bad, can it?
00:48:52 Margaret, there's some people I used to work for.
00:48:55 They think I stole money from them.
00:48:57 I think they're after me.
00:49:00 Oh.
00:49:02 Didn't you ever think about going to the police?
00:49:04 No, no, these are very powerful people.
00:49:07 No, the only chance I've got is to try to start over again somewhere else.
00:49:11 And that's what I'm going to do.
00:49:20 What is it?
00:49:21 What's wrong?
00:49:23 Nothing.
00:49:25 I do have something to do, so why don't you meet me in the lounge in half an hour?
00:49:29 Okay.
00:49:31 Are you sure there's nothing wrong?
00:49:33 No, nothing I can't take care of.
00:49:57 Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you've had a fabulous day in Acapulco.
00:50:00 Now it's time for a fabulous night at the Pacific Princess as we set sail for home.
00:50:06 Well, it sure has been an interesting day.
00:50:10 You know, if my mother could see us right now, I think she'd drop dead.
00:50:14 Really? Let's find her.
00:50:17 Good night, Alan.
00:50:19 Good night, Miss York.
00:50:21 It was a lovely evening.
00:50:23 I hope to see you again sometime.
00:50:43 Well, I seem to have taken our wall again.
00:50:46 I noticed.
00:50:47 What do you think we should do about it?
00:50:49 I guess I'm defenseless.
00:50:51 I seem to have lost my fingernail file.
00:51:15 Oh, Meryl.
00:51:17 You having trouble sleeping on our new waterbed?
00:51:20 I'm dreaming we're lost at sea.
00:51:22 Why?
00:51:23 Did you eat something? Something?
00:51:25 No, it's something I'm sleeping on.
00:51:27 Look, Emily, we've got to talk.
00:51:30 Good. I love it when we talk.
00:51:32 You always say such interesting things.
00:51:34 Yeah, no. Now look, Emily, you have to admit it.
00:51:36 There's something that is still bothering you.
00:51:38 No, I'm fine now.
00:51:39 Yeah.
00:51:40 Well, look, when I thought you started to redo the menus and that you started to schedule all the social activities,
00:51:45 I thought you were going to be excited, but you're not, Emily. You're not.
00:51:48 Oh, let's face it, Meryl, everybody is so nice, but they just say that they like my ideas because I'm the captain's wife.
00:51:54 No, that's not true.
00:51:55 They love you and they like you and they like your ideas.
00:51:58 No, they're just trying to spare my feelings like you did when you said you liked my redecorating.
00:52:02 What are you talking about? I love it.
00:52:04 Tell the truth.
00:52:05 Okay, I hate it.
00:52:06 See?
00:52:07 Oh, Emily.
00:52:09 I'm okay.
00:52:13 Emily.
00:52:14 Look, a waterbed on a ship is highly impractical and it's redundant.
00:52:20 I thought it was soothing.
00:52:22 What about your office?
00:52:25 Meryl?
00:52:27 Well, it's just not me.
00:52:29 Well, who is it?
00:52:30 Oh, I don't know. Erica Strada. It's just not me.
00:52:33 A captain's office should be... it should be full of ship things.
00:52:37 You didn't like anything about it, did you?
00:52:39 No, I did like that small ship's wheel paperweight.
00:52:43 That was there before.
00:52:44 Okay, captain. I guess I know where I stand.
00:52:47 Well, tomorrow I will put all your ship things back.
00:52:50 And I guess I'll just have to get used to the idea of being the captain's little wife.
00:52:56 [Music]
00:53:17 [Screaming]
00:53:21 [Music]
00:53:50 I came in early this morning, but he wasn't here.
00:53:53 When I heard about the man who fell overboard last night, I didn't want to think it could be Mr. Thorne.
00:54:00 We checked the entire ship. He's the only passenger who was missing.
00:54:03 I knew something like this would happen.
00:54:06 Oh?
00:54:07 Oh, Mr. Thorne has wandered off by himself before.
00:54:12 He has a terrible drinking problem.
00:54:14 I'll say.
00:54:17 I noticed all the liquor around the room.
00:54:20 Captain, why don't you handle this?
00:54:21 Thank you, A. I was trying to do just that.
00:54:24 Periodically, Mr. Thorne has gotten drunk and wandered off by himself.
00:54:28 He did it again last night. He'd been drinking heavily.
00:54:31 I begged him not to leave the cabin.
00:54:35 He must have gone out on the deck and slipped.
00:54:41 I just can't believe he's gone.
00:54:46 I'm sorry.
00:54:51 We'll talk about this later.
00:54:53 We'll leave you alone now.
00:54:56 Please don't go.
00:54:58 [whimpering]
00:55:22 What are you doing here?
00:55:23 Huh?
00:55:25 Oh, oh, right. Sorry.
00:55:28 It's just gonna take me a while to adjust to not thinking of you as a nightmare.
00:55:33 You sure know how to build up a man's confidence.
00:55:36 I didn't know your confidence needed building.
00:55:39 If I'm cut, do I not bleed?
00:55:41 I don't know. I'll have to try it sometime.
00:55:46 Wait a minute. Can't you see what's happening?
00:55:49 Yeah.
00:55:51 I'm falling in love with you again.
00:55:54 Is that good?
00:55:55 No. We broke up. We fought. We said nasty things to each other.
00:55:59 Hey, life goes on.
00:56:11 Ladies and gentlemen, join us on the fiesta deck for a very special buffet.
00:56:28 Fried chicken chili? What is this?
00:56:31 It was Emily's idea. A truck stop buffet.
00:56:34 You know she was in the trucking business.
00:56:35 Yes, I knew that.
00:56:37 Isn't this great? I mean, she comes up with such radical ideas.
00:56:40 Radical. That's the word for it.
00:56:42 And every passenger gets a free cast.
00:56:44 No thanks. I'm in uniform.
00:56:46 Captain, may I speak with you privately?
00:56:51 Excuse us, Vicki, please.
00:56:55 What is it, Ace?
00:56:57 I was wrong about it being the Ten Little Indians.
00:57:01 It's really murder on the Orient Express.
00:57:04 Ace, I spent the night trying to sleep in my wife's new waterbed.
00:57:08 And then a world famous billionaire was lost at sea.
00:57:11 I am eating truck stop food for lunch.
00:57:13 I don't want to hear this.
00:57:14 I know, but it all fits together.
00:57:16 Thorne brought these people on board to murder them.
00:57:19 But they turned the tables on him and they got him first.
00:57:23 Is that what happened in murder on the Orient Express?
00:57:27 Well, not exactly, but it's close.
00:57:30 I think we better investigate this.
00:57:32 Oh, you mean find some real evidence and motive.
00:57:36 That's a unique approach.
00:57:38 I'll tell you what, Ace.
00:57:39 Once you find something, then and only then do I plan on seeing you.
00:57:45 So if you will excuse me, my grits are getting cold.
00:57:49 He won't listen to me.
00:57:52 Look, I don't buy this George Tillman shellfish story.
00:57:55 I think the guy faked the whole thing.
00:57:57 Ace, I'm a doctor. I ran tests.
00:58:00 Chemistry doesn't lie. It's our friend.
00:58:03 Jeff Gilbert, what does anybody know about him?
00:58:05 Well, isn't he the tennis pro from Long Beach?
00:58:07 He used to work in a chemical plant.
00:58:09 Tennis pro in a chemical plant?
00:58:11 He doesn't play tennis.
00:58:13 Gilbert, I have a Gilbert on my list of passengers that requires special medical supervision.
00:58:18 What's wrong with him?
00:58:19 He's suffering from a lung ailment.
00:58:21 He told me he has only a year to live.
00:58:23 Sad story.
00:58:25 Yes, yes, it's all falling into place.
00:58:28 Jeff Gilbert is our killer.
00:58:29 Ace, if you were a book, I'd throw you away.
00:58:34 Don't you see? Gilbert worked in a chemical plant that Thorn owns.
00:58:38 He blames Thorn for his sickness.
00:58:41 There's your motive. It's your motive.
00:58:43 Excuse me, could I see you for one minute?
00:58:45 Yeah, sure.
00:58:47 I am going to blow this case wide open.
00:58:53 Yeah.
00:58:55 Isaac, you know, if we were really his friends, we'd stop him from making a fool of himself.
00:59:02 Yeah.
00:59:10 Oh, all right!
00:59:12 We did it again!
00:59:13 We won the game!
00:59:15 All right!
00:59:17 Come on, baby.
00:59:25 Sarah, darling, where have you been all day?
00:59:29 Oh, hello, Mother. You know Alan.
00:59:34 I asked you a question, honey.
00:59:37 She's been with me, Mrs. York.
00:59:40 Oh, oh, that's just fine. That's just fine.
00:59:43 You went off with this no-good while our business has been going right down the drain.
00:59:48 Mother, what are you talking about?
00:59:51 So, you two have been tucked away someplace together, haven't you?
00:59:55 Well, Maxwell Thorne fell overboard last night, and along with him, our financer.
01:00:01 Maxwell Thorne is dead?
01:00:05 Why couldn't it have been you?
01:00:08 Tough lady.
01:00:09 Sarah, darling, haven't you learned your lesson?
01:00:12 Finding this man with that other woman in the hotel room?
01:00:16 Mother, that was five years ago.
01:00:18 Well, he hasn't changed. He's still a mullet.
01:00:24 You know what a mullet is, don't you?
01:00:27 A mullet is a little fish swimming around, waiting for a big fish to come and eat him up.
01:00:35 Why don't you go back to that woman with the unfortunate name of Chastity and leave my daughter alone?
01:00:46 I'm sorry about my mother, Alan.
01:00:49 She's just being overprotective.
01:00:52 Yes, I remember.
01:00:56 Now, Miss Colbert.
01:00:58 Yes.
01:00:59 Would you verify the fact that this man, Jeffrey T. Gilbert, once worked for Excision Chemical Company,
01:01:06 a fully owned subsidiary of Thorne Incorporated?
01:01:09 Yes, I know Mr. Gilbert.
01:01:11 And Dr. Adam Bricker.
01:01:13 Isn't it true that Mr. Gilbert is suffering from a lung disease,
01:01:16 a condition one contracts while working under hazardous conditions with chemicals?
01:01:21 Yes, but I only know that because he told me.
01:01:24 Oh, come on, people. Gilbert worked for Thorne.
01:01:26 He got a fatal disease and he took revenge on him.
01:01:30 What the hell are you talking about?
01:01:32 Ace, this has gone far enough.
01:01:34 There is no reason to believe anyone killed Mr. Thorne. It was an accident.
01:01:38 Ah, but I have proof.
01:01:41 It was no accident.
01:01:43 In fact, it was murder.
01:01:45 Pure and simple.
01:01:50 I'll get that.
01:01:55 How long do I have to stay in here?
01:01:57 You may come out now.
01:02:01 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Margaret Grant.
01:02:06 Would you please tell them what you told me?
01:02:10 Yes.
01:02:12 I went for a walk last night on the deck.
01:02:14 Jeffrey gets some air and I saw a man.
01:02:17 And he was carrying something and then I realized what he was carrying.
01:02:21 He was carrying another man over his shoulder.
01:02:24 And he was unconscious and he walked over to the rail and he threw the body overboard.
01:02:30 Oh, my God.
01:02:32 Why didn't you come forward sooner?
01:02:34 I was too frightened. I guess I just didn't want to be involved.
01:02:38 But then when I heard that everybody on the ship, they actually believed that this was an accident,
01:02:43 I had to say something. I had to say something.
01:02:46 I'm sorry, Miss Grant.
01:02:48 Now, I know that this is extremely difficult for you.
01:02:50 But I want you to look at this man and tell us, is this the man that murdered Maxwell Thorne?
01:02:58 The captain?
01:03:00 No, no, this man.
01:03:04 Take your time, Miss Grant.
01:03:06 We wouldn't want you to send a dying man to the chair.
01:03:14 No, this man looked nothing like him.
01:03:18 He doesn't?
01:03:20 He was bigger, taller, I think.
01:03:23 He was?
01:03:24 Yes.
01:03:27 Are you finished?
01:03:29 Yeah.
01:03:30 I mean, it's true, I hated Thorne.
01:03:32 I blamed him for what happened to me.
01:03:34 But that was before this trip.
01:03:36 You want to know why Thorne brought me here?
01:03:39 Well?
01:03:41 Tell him, Miss Culver.
01:03:43 Well, Mr. Thorne felt terrible about what happened to Mr. Gilbert.
01:03:48 He brought him on this trip so that he could visit a specialist in Acapulco.
01:03:54 He's under treatment now that may very well save his life.
01:03:59 So you see, if Thorne were here, I may shake his hand.
01:04:04 Not push him overboard.
01:04:06 Ah, well.
01:04:08 And you.
01:04:09 Me?
01:04:10 You!
01:04:12 I want you to stay out of my face for the rest of this cruise.
01:04:15 You got it.
01:04:16 You got it.
01:04:18 All right, everyone, that's enough for tonight.
01:04:20 Yes.
01:04:21 This way.
01:04:26 I was so sure it was Gilbert.
01:04:28 Oh, relax.
01:04:29 Say, even Perry Mason lost one case.
01:04:33 He did?
01:04:34 I didn't know that.
01:04:35 No, he didn't.
01:04:36 I only said that to make you feel better.
01:04:42 Ugh!
01:04:50 Hey.
01:04:51 Oh, Robert.
01:04:52 Hi, where have you been?
01:04:53 I've been looking all over the ship for you.
01:04:55 I've been with the captain.
01:04:56 It was horrible.
01:04:57 Oh, come on.
01:04:58 The captain may be a little boring.
01:04:59 His stories go on much too long, but--
01:05:00 No, no, it wasn't the captain.
01:05:02 It was what I saw.
01:05:03 It was horrible.
01:05:04 But what are you talking about?
01:05:07 I saw Maxwell Thorne murdered last night.
01:05:10 You what?
01:05:12 I did.
01:05:13 I saw a man throw his body overboard.
01:05:15 I'm so frightened.
01:05:17 Well, don't worry.
01:05:18 I'm here.
01:05:19 I'm here.
01:05:20 Did you see what he looked like?
01:05:21 No.
01:05:23 I couldn't see his face.
01:05:26 [music]
01:05:52 Miss York, I'm sorry you never got your meeting with Mr. Thorne.
01:05:56 Oh, Miss Culver, thank you very much.
01:05:58 It's very nice of you.
01:05:59 I know, but you must be very upset.
01:06:01 Yes.
01:06:03 Miss Culver, I'd like for you to meet my friend, Alan Davis.
01:06:05 Oh, it's nice to meet you.
01:06:08 He's adorable.
01:06:09 I wouldn't let him get away.
01:06:11 [laughter]
01:06:21 So, how about it?
01:06:22 You're going to let me get away?
01:06:24 I don't know.
01:06:25 You have to be good.
01:06:26 I haven't decided yet.
01:06:28 Sarah, your mother said something last night that's been bothering me.
01:06:33 Oh, don't pay any attention to her.
01:06:35 She just doesn't like you.
01:06:36 I know.
01:06:37 It's mutual.
01:06:38 Believe me.
01:06:39 That's not it.
01:06:40 She mentioned the name of the girl you found me with in that hotel.
01:06:44 Alan, we're really not going to talk about this, are we?
01:06:46 How did she know her name?
01:06:47 She never met her.
01:06:49 I don't know.
01:06:50 Maybe I told her.
01:06:51 Did you know her name?
01:06:52 No.
01:06:53 Alan, what are you getting at?
01:06:55 I thought that we were doing okay.
01:06:57 I really don't want to talk about what she did to me back then.
01:07:00 Sarah, I didn't do anything to you.
01:07:02 I was set up.
01:07:03 I told you that.
01:07:04 That girl was there when I walked in, in my bed with no clothes on.
01:07:09 I was trying to get her out when you walked in.
01:07:11 I didn't even know her name was Chastity.
01:07:13 Are you trying to blame this all on my mother?
01:07:15 I just want to know how she found out the girl's name.
01:07:19 And why did you come there that night?
01:07:21 What difference does it make now?
01:07:23 And I really don't understand why you're bringing this up all over again.
01:07:26 It was the truth.
01:07:28 I'd never met that woman.
01:07:31 You know, Alan, I thought that you were different.
01:07:34 I thought that you'd grown up enough at least to be honest with me.
01:07:43 Now, please think, Mr. Tillman.
01:07:45 Surely at some time in your life you knew Mr. Thorne.
01:07:48 Nope, I never did.
01:07:50 Maybe you went to school together as kids.
01:07:52 Ace, the man says he doesn't know him.
01:07:54 There was a Skippy Thorne.
01:07:55 Good.
01:07:56 But he's a barber now.
01:07:57 Oh, Mr. Tillman, come off it.
01:07:59 Thorne gave you a free cruise.
01:08:00 Why would he do that?
01:08:01 Look, young man, I never look a gift horse in the mouth.
01:08:04 But I'm perfectly willing to punch you in the mouth if you don't leave me alone.
01:08:09 Gee, some guys really get bent out of shape when you accuse them of murder.
01:08:14 Hard to believe, huh?
01:08:16 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
01:08:20 Everyone is invited to amateur night in the International Lounge.
01:08:24 [Music]
01:08:45 Your idea to have this amateur show was terrific.
01:08:48 Where did you find her?
01:08:50 She is a secretary from Des Moines.
01:08:52 She always loved to sing and dance.
01:08:54 The passengers seem to love her.
01:08:56 Oh, you think so?
01:08:57 You know, whenever I make a suggestion, I always feel I'm imposing.
01:09:00 Oh, no.
01:09:01 She really has the goods.
01:09:03 [Music]
01:09:25 Excuse me, Emily.
01:09:26 Duty calls.
01:09:30 Now, here's how we'll teach Mr. Honeywell a lesson he'll never forget.
01:09:34 Everything's in place, Captain.
01:09:41 This time I think we'll get our killer.
01:09:44 I hope so.
01:09:45 Yeah.
01:09:46 [Music]
01:10:05 It's interesting decor, Captain.
01:10:07 Oh, yes.
01:10:08 It's for a party.
01:10:10 Oh, look at that.
01:10:12 Excuse me.
01:10:15 Come on in, please.
01:10:16 We got word the Captain wanted to see us.
01:10:18 Oh, hello, Irene.
01:10:24 Mr. McBride.
01:10:25 I didn't expect to see you here.
01:10:27 So, what's this all about?
01:10:30 Oh, if you'll be seated, I'll explain everything to you.
01:10:32 Professor Evans has discovered evidence about our murder investigation.
01:10:40 You know who it was?
01:10:44 Maybe it would be better if Professor Evans took it from here.
01:10:47 Ace.
01:10:48 Thank you, Captain.
01:10:49 On the night in question, Mr. Thorne had been drinking.
01:10:53 Oh, he walked out on the deck.
01:10:55 But he didn't fall overboard.
01:10:57 No, no, he was met by someone who knew who he was.
01:11:00 Someone who seized the opportunity.
01:11:05 That's right.
01:11:06 Robert McBride killed Mr. Thorne.
01:11:09 You're crazy.
01:11:11 Am I?
01:11:13 Mr. McBride.
01:11:14 Isn't it true that you once worked for Mr. Thorne as a senior accountant?
01:11:19 Yes.
01:11:21 But that hardly makes him a murderer.
01:11:23 Mr. McBride, isn't it also true that you embezzled a large sum of money from Mr. Thorne
01:11:28 and that was the reason for your quick departure from Thorne Incorporated?
01:11:31 Why?
01:11:33 I don't have to answer these questions.
01:11:35 Is it true, Robert?
01:11:38 No.
01:11:39 No, it's not true.
01:11:41 Mr. Thorne brought you on board this cruise for the purpose of exposing your crime,
01:11:46 but you couldn't have that, could you?
01:11:47 No.
01:11:48 So you killed him.
01:11:49 Thus adding murder to your list of evil deeds.
01:11:52 No, Robert wasn't the one.
01:11:55 But you said you didn't see the man's face.
01:12:00 No, Robert didn't do it because he was with me
01:12:03 right up until the time that I went out onto the deck.
01:12:06 He wouldn't have had time to intercept Mr. Thorne.
01:12:10 He wouldn't?
01:12:11 No.
01:12:12 How did you know he worked for Mr. Thorne?
01:12:14 Yes, Ace, where are you getting all this information?
01:12:16 My father's secretary. She knows everybody.
01:12:20 Are you accusing me of murder based on the secretarial grapevine?
01:12:25 Well, I figured you'd want to confess.
01:12:27 I mean, the guilt, the pressure.
01:12:29 You don't want to spend your life running.
01:12:31 I don't want to confess to anything.
01:12:33 Come on, Margaret.
01:12:34 [music]
01:12:40 Gosh, this is hard.
01:12:42 Mr. Evans, may I make a suggestion?
01:12:45 Why don't you leave the crime business to professionals?
01:12:49 I think you're in over your head.
01:12:52 Olé.
01:12:53 Way over your head.
01:12:58 [music]
01:13:08 Robert.
01:13:09 What?
01:13:10 You told me that some people thought that you stole money from them.
01:13:19 Was it Maxwell Thorne?
01:13:21 Yes, it was.
01:13:24 Come on, you don't believe any of the stuff that nutcase said in there, do you?
01:13:28 Tell me the truth.
01:13:29 Did you steal the money?
01:13:31 Margaret, I worked for that man for 18 years.
01:13:33 I made him millions of dollars and I got nothing out of it. Nothing.
01:13:37 I deserve that money any way I can get it.
01:13:39 You killed him. You lied. I lied.
01:13:42 You had plenty of time.
01:13:45 No, I did not kill him.
01:13:47 That night after I left you, I went to Thorne's cabin just to talk to him.
01:13:51 Just to try to clear this up somehow.
01:13:53 He wasn't even there.
01:13:54 Well, you certainly have your alibi now, don't you?
01:13:57 Don't worry, I won't change my story.
01:13:59 I don't want to see you again.
01:14:01 [music]
01:14:13 [music]
01:14:20 Where's your Mr. Davis?
01:14:26 I have no idea.
01:14:28 Oh, I'm sorry. Is something wrong?
01:14:30 Well, sometimes you think people have changed and they really haven't.
01:14:35 I don't think I'll be seeing Alan anymore.
01:14:38 Oh.
01:14:40 Don't worry, my dear. Things have a way of working themselves out.
01:14:44 [music]
01:14:51 [music]
01:14:58 [music]
01:15:03 [music]
01:15:10 [music]
01:15:17 Oh, Miss York, there's a message for you.
01:15:20 Oh.
01:15:21 Hope it's good news.
01:15:22 Thank you.
01:15:23 [music]
01:15:34 Maybe it's bad news.
01:15:36 [music]
01:15:51 [knock on door]
01:15:53 Just what do you want?
01:16:00 Money?
01:16:01 No more than the next guy.
01:16:03 Huh.
01:16:04 I won't go one cent higher than 25,000.
01:16:08 What are you talking about?
01:16:11 Don't you play games with me, you... you mullet!
01:16:16 I got your note.
01:16:19 [paper rustling]
01:16:21 I know about chastity and I can prove it.
01:16:26 I was right.
01:16:29 You did set me up.
01:16:31 Tell me, did you call Sarah and tell her to go to that hotel or did you have someone do it for you?
01:16:35 You were never good enough for Sarah.
01:16:38 Why, if she'd gone off to marry you, she never would have come into the business with me.
01:16:43 She'd have gone off to some ghetto with you and wasted her life away.
01:16:46 Who was chastity?
01:16:47 What difference does that make?
01:16:49 This note is not for me.
01:16:51 And I don't need your money.
01:16:53 I think Sarah's going to find all of this very interesting.
01:16:55 Oh, you are really pathetic.
01:16:58 What proof do you have?
01:17:00 I can't believe you would do this to your own daughter.
01:17:03 Sarah won't believe you.
01:17:05 Any more than I believe you didn't send that note.
01:17:09 Nice try, mullet.
01:17:12 [music]
01:17:24 As she heard the screams echo below, Celia was conscious of something evil breathing against her.
01:17:30 Something so awful and foul that she cringed.
01:17:34 [music]
01:17:40 Oh, Mr. McBride.
01:17:42 What brings you here?
01:17:44 May I come in?
01:17:45 Well, certainly.
01:17:47 What is it?
01:17:53 I wanted you to know that I didn't kill Mr. Thorne.
01:17:57 I know that, Mr. McBride.
01:17:59 You're not a murderer.
01:18:01 Yes, but I am a thief.
01:18:04 I embezzled that money. I worked for Thorne all those years.
01:18:07 I had nothing to show for it, so I was angry.
01:18:09 But then once I had the money, I couldn't spend it.
01:18:13 I was afraid somebody might find me out.
01:18:16 I always thought of myself as an honest man.
01:18:18 It was difficult getting used to being a criminal.
01:18:23 You must have been miserable.
01:18:26 Well, I thought it would be a lot easier if I left the country.
01:18:28 That's why when I won this free cruise, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to take the money and put it in some foreign bank account.
01:18:36 Look, I tried to find Mr. Thorne the night he was killed.
01:18:40 I wanted to give the money back.
01:18:42 Just take whatever was coming to me.
01:18:46 I see.
01:18:47 So I know it's a little belated, but there's the money.
01:18:51 It's all here.
01:18:54 It's never too late, Mr. McBride.
01:18:57 Thank you.
01:19:03 Good night.
01:19:06 [music]
01:19:34 I won't go one cent higher than 25,000.
01:19:38 I was right.
01:19:39 You did set me up.
01:19:40 Tell me, did you call Sarah and tell her to go to that hotel, or did you have someone do it for you?
01:19:45 You were never good enough for Sarah.
01:19:48 Why, if she'd married you, she'd never come into business with me.
01:19:51 She'd have gone off to some ghetto with you to waste her life away.
01:19:55 [music]
01:20:02 Oh, my dear, sweet mother.
01:20:05 Oh, I can tell by the edge in your voice that Mullet has been filling you full of his fantasies.
01:20:13 Mother, why would you do such a thing?
01:20:16 I was in love with him.
01:20:19 You don't believe him.
01:20:21 For all these years, I haven't.
01:20:23 But it seems that someone has recorded your conversation on tape.
01:20:28 I won't go one cent higher than 25,000.
01:20:31 Look, honey lamb, it's just because I love you.
01:20:34 I tried to do the best for you.
01:20:37 Oh, you had so much potential.
01:20:40 I just couldn't let you.
01:20:41 You couldn't let me live my own life.
01:20:44 That's it, isn't it?
01:20:46 You can't stand the thought of not being in control of everything that surrounds you, your business as well as your very own daughter.
01:20:52 Oh, Sarah.
01:20:53 Mother, that is not love.
01:20:56 Maybe one day you'll realize that.
01:21:00 Sarah.
01:21:01 What are you doing?
01:21:23 It's okay. The guy that lives here is dead.
01:21:26 Oh, right.
01:21:29 Ace, I just want you to know that if we get caught, I'm blaming everything on you.
01:21:34 Fine. Start looking.
01:21:36 What are we looking for?
01:21:37 Clues.
01:21:39 Clues?
01:21:40 Yeah.
01:21:41 Well, how will we know if we find one?
01:21:43 Just look for anything out of the ordinary.
01:21:45 A cigarette butt with lipstick on it, a crumpled up piece of paper with a phone number on it.
01:21:50 A spent cartridge.
01:21:51 A spent cartridge?
01:21:53 The guy was thrown overboard.
01:21:55 He might have been shot first. I don't know, okay?
01:22:00 Ace, that's the first smart thing you said. You don't know nothing.
01:22:04 And I'm getting out of here.
01:22:05 Aha.
01:22:08 What have we got here?
01:22:10 What is that?
01:22:11 Why don't we just find out?
01:22:16 I've told you a hundred times I don't want to see anybody. I don't care who it is.
01:22:21 That's Thorne.
01:22:22 That's my final offer.
01:22:24 Try him on ride.
01:22:26 What is this?
01:22:27 Irene, come in here and take a letter.
01:22:30 No.
01:22:32 Yes.
01:22:33 I'll have to get back to you on that.
01:22:36 Why would Thorne put his voice on a tape?
01:22:40 That is a very good question, Isaac.
01:22:44 Thank you, Ace.
01:22:46 You're hired.
01:22:48 You're fired.
01:22:50 Oh.
01:23:04 I'm glad you could all be here.
01:23:06 Professor Evans has an interesting theory about the murder of Mr. Thorne.
01:23:09 Oh, Captain, don't tell us you're encouraging this madman.
01:23:12 I hate to admit it, Mr. McBride, but this time I think Ace has got something.
01:23:16 Please, try to be brief.
01:23:18 I'll do my best, sir.
01:23:21 Okay.
01:23:22 Okay, I'll admit this case had me fooled.
01:23:25 That wouldn't be too hard.
01:23:27 Isaac.
01:23:29 Yes.
01:23:30 Yes, I should have seen it from the very beginning.
01:23:33 Thorne had a reputation for not being seen in public.
01:23:36 So it was no surprise when Irene Culver, his personal secretary, told us Mr. Thorne had come aboard secretly.
01:23:44 Maybe Thorne was in the luggage.
01:23:46 I had no idea how close to the truth I was at that moment.
01:23:50 Later, I went to see Mr. Thorne.
01:23:53 But I was told by Miss Culver that he wouldn't see me or anyone else.
01:23:58 But you told me you saw him.
01:24:00 You said your uncle and he were old friends.
01:24:03 Oh.
01:24:04 Well.
01:24:05 Yeah, that's not important now.
01:24:07 I was insistent.
01:24:09 Extremely.
01:24:11 Insistent.
01:24:13 Mr. Thorne.
01:24:16 There's a young man here to see you.
01:24:23 Who is it?
01:24:24 It's, uh...
01:24:27 Ashley.
01:24:28 Oh, it's Ashley Evans.
01:24:30 He's the nephew of Marshall Evans.
01:24:32 Uh, they used to go duck hunting together?
01:24:34 Uh, you used to go duck hunting together.
01:24:38 I've told you a hundred times, I don't want to see anybody.
01:24:41 I don't care who it is.
01:24:42 Thank you, Mr. Thorne.
01:24:44 She used me to establish the fact that Thorne was alive and well, when in fact, he was neither.
01:24:51 Oh, you're accusing me.
01:24:54 Mm-hmm.
01:24:55 How fascinating.
01:24:57 Wait a minute.
01:24:59 You told me Thorne was alive the night we broke into his cabin.
01:25:01 You broke into Mr. Thorne's cabin?
01:25:03 No, he did.
01:25:04 I just went along because you told me to keep an eye on him.
01:25:07 Ah, a reminder.
01:25:09 Don't always believe what you see.
01:25:12 Yes, I certainly saw someone that night.
01:25:16 Just promise me you won't leave the cabin.
01:25:20 Irene, we're on a ship.
01:25:21 What can happen on a ship?
01:25:23 It wasn't Thorne I saw that night.
01:25:25 It was her accomplice.
01:25:27 Oh, you're not trying to drag me into this again, are you?
01:25:30 Yes, Robert McBride was Irene Culver's accomplice in murder.
01:25:35 So you did do it.
01:25:37 No.
01:25:38 Wait a minute.
01:25:39 This is all very interesting, but why am I here?
01:25:42 I don't know.
01:25:43 I didn't invite you.
01:25:45 I did.
01:25:46 Please, sit down, Mr. Evans, and I'll clear up this mystery.
01:25:54 You were right about many things, Mr. Evans.
01:25:58 Unfortunately, not the most important one.
01:26:01 The first, I did kill Mr. Thorne.
01:26:05 You did?
01:26:06 You confess?
01:26:07 I did, before she killed my daughter.
01:26:12 Oh, I'm sorry.
01:26:14 Excuse me.
01:26:16 I'm sorry.
01:26:18 And I did use you, Mr. Evans, because you were the most eager.
01:26:23 And there was something in that trunk, but it was hardly the dead body of Mr. Thorne.
01:26:31 And the night you and nice Mr. Washington were so kind as to do your reconnaissance...
01:26:38 Mr. Thorne, I'm begging you, you've got to stop drinking.
01:26:42 Leave me alone, Irene.
01:26:43 Once again, you were my witness to the fact that Mr. Thorne had been drinking heavily.
01:26:49 I needed people to see what they thought was Mr. Thorne falling to his death, so I made sure he fell past a populated area in full view.
01:26:58 Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on Miss Grant seeing my little murder.
01:27:03 But I suppose the darkness and shadows play tricks on a person who thinks they are witness to a terrible crime.
01:27:13 And you people didn't believe my story, huh?
01:27:19 So, what happened to Mr. Thorne?
01:27:21 Nothing.
01:27:22 Even though I killed him, he's alive and well.
01:27:25 More coffee, anyone?
01:27:28 I'd like you to meet my husband, Leonard Culver.
01:27:33 That's him.
01:27:35 That's the man, that's the man that threw Mr. Thorne overboard.
01:27:39 How do you do, ladies and gentlemen?
01:27:41 Wait a minute, you got Thorne's voice.
01:27:44 This is very confusing.
01:27:46 Irene, you're Mr. Thorne, aren't you?
01:27:49 No.
01:27:51 Bravo, very good, Captain.
01:27:54 You see, years ago I discovered that a woman in that day and time could only get so far in the business world.
01:28:01 So I created the elusive millionaire eccentric who shunned the public eye.
01:28:06 But my uncle told me he knew Maxwell Thorne.
01:28:09 He said they went fishing together.
01:28:10 Well, your uncle did just what you seem to have done.
01:28:13 He lied to impress his friends.
01:28:15 Oh, well, I might have implied that I met him.
01:28:17 This is very embarrassing.
01:28:19 But why all this?
01:28:21 For years, hiding behind the fictitious Maxwell Thorne afforded me a unique opportunity in business.
01:28:27 People only knew me as his trusted personal secretary.
01:28:31 But lately, Mr. Thorne had become a burden.
01:28:34 And Leonard wanted to travel more.
01:28:36 So we decided to take Mr. Thorne to sea and leave him there.
01:28:41 But that still doesn't explain what I'm doing here.
01:28:44 Ah, yes.
01:28:46 Before I got rid of Mr. Thorne, there was some unfinished business that needed to be attended to.
01:28:51 A subsidiary of mine bought a small company and fired the engineer who started it.
01:28:57 George Tillman?
01:28:58 Yes.
01:28:59 So I gave him back his company.
01:29:01 And Mr. Gilbert, who worked in one of my plants, contracted a serious disease.
01:29:05 I found him a specialist who could help him.
01:29:08 And you, Mr. McBride.
01:29:09 I was shocked when you stole money from the company.
01:29:12 But I knew the good man was in there somewhere.
01:29:15 You made a mistake and you would realize it.
01:29:17 I brought you here to give you the opportunity to do exactly what you did when you returned the money.
01:29:24 You gave the money back?
01:29:25 Yes.
01:29:26 Proving he was the man I always knew he was.
01:29:29 I'm sorry, but I still don't understand why I'm here.
01:29:33 I never knew Maxwell Thorne.
01:29:35 I brought you on this ship to try to repair the relationship you once had with Sarah York.
01:29:41 I used a business deal as bait to get Sarah and her mother to come on this cruise.
01:29:46 You took the wall out of our cabin?
01:29:49 I'm good with my hands.
01:29:51 More coffee, anyone?
01:29:52 Leonard, such a good actor.
01:29:55 He loves the intrigue.
01:29:57 It was thrilling seeing the two of you get back together.
01:30:01 The elevator?
01:30:02 The note?
01:30:03 Well, I used to work for the government.
01:30:05 Of course, I suppose the secretary would disavow any knowledge of my actions.
01:30:08 And Leonard even managed to tape the encounter with Jessica York.
01:30:12 Sarah has the tape.
01:30:14 I think she's been greatly enlightened.
01:30:16 But how in the world did you know about all this?
01:30:21 We have a daughter who led a wayward youth.
01:30:26 You met her once in a hotel room.
01:30:30 Her name is Chastity.
01:30:35 Excuse me.
01:30:37 Chastity? What hotel room? What are we talking about here?
01:30:39 Ace, please be quiet.
01:30:41 Well, I'm glad this is finally cleared up.
01:30:44 Please feel free to go about your business.
01:30:46 Thank you, Captain.
01:30:47 Thank you.
01:30:48 Thank you, Captain.
01:30:50 Mr. Evans, we need to talk.
01:30:54 We need to define the duties of the ship's purser.
01:30:57 Yes, sir.
01:30:58 But remember, I was very close.
01:31:02 [knocking]
01:31:08 Hi, may I come in?
01:31:10 Sure, Alan.
01:31:17 Alan, I want you to know that I believe you now.
01:31:20 I realize that my mother has caused us an awful lot of trouble.
01:31:23 What do you say we don't talk about the past?
01:31:25 It worked last time.
01:31:26 I'll go along with that.
01:31:33 What's that?
01:31:34 I don't know.
01:31:35 There shouldn't be any icebergs in this part of the Pacific.
01:31:40 Mrs. Culver.
01:31:41 Good evening.
01:31:43 I'm telling you, this is against ship policy.
01:31:46 Are you sure we're not going to get in any trouble?
01:31:48 Young people today need all the help they can get.
01:32:03 Emily, how long are you going to stay mad at me?
01:32:05 I'm not mad at you.
01:32:07 Well, I have something I think might cheer you up.
01:32:11 Captain, we have something for Emily.
01:32:14 What?
01:32:15 What is this?
01:32:16 Read it.
01:32:17 Emily Steubing, special events director.
01:32:19 It's your new job.
01:32:20 I arranged it with the line.
01:32:21 Welcome to the crew.
01:32:22 You're very popular.
01:32:23 The talent show is a big hit.
01:32:25 Yeah, and the chef was wondering if you could plan some more special buffets.
01:32:28 Say, why don't we all get on to the crew lounge and have a party?
01:32:31 Yeah.
01:32:32 Now you're not just the captain's wife, you're a member of the crew.
01:32:37 Well, I better get to work.
01:32:43 I am so happy.
01:32:48 That makes two of us.
01:32:50 [Music]
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