Ego Nwodim ('Saturday Night Live'), Kristen Wiig ('Palm Royale'), Maya Rudolph ('Loot'), Michelle Buteau ('Survival of the Thickest'), Quinta Brunson ('Abbott Elementary') and Renée Elise Goldsberry ('Girls5eva') join THR in Off Script With The Hollywood Reporter. The stars have a raucous and revealing conversation about ignoring industry expectations, the pressure to mine their personal lives and tap-dancing for the patriarchy in this updated roundtable format hosted by Yvonne Orji.
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PeopleTranscript
00:00 Coming back to Saturday Night Live after I had my daughter was transformative because I didn't I I gave
00:07 No more fucks
00:10 I will get you pregnant
00:28 Welcome to all script with the Hollywood Reporter
00:31 I'm your host Yvonne or G and we are here at the gorgeous Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica, California
00:37 As an actress and comedian
00:40 I am especially looking forward to today's amazing panel of six versatile and talented comedic actresses
00:47 Some of whom I am fortunate enough to call friends
00:49 That's right guys. They have and are
00:53 Continuing to pave the way for women in comedy. You're about to hear from the amazing the illustrious Quinta Brunson of Abbott Elementary
01:01 Michelle Bateau of survival of the thickest Renee Elise Goldsberry of girls 5eva
01:08 Ego Wodum of Saturday Night Live
01:10 Maya Rudolph of loot and
01:13 Kristen Wiig of palm Maria
01:19 They are as always on the record just a little off script with the Hollywood Reporter
01:25 Hey Lacey, they're all yours
01:28 Thanks Yvonne
01:30 Welcome to the comedy actress roundtable. Let's get started. We're gonna start with a question for everybody
01:35 What is the funniest or strangest feedback you've heard or read about yourself?
01:41 I
01:43 Won an award for being the number one vegetarian
01:53 Yeah, I think people just very surprised that they laughed yeah, yeah surprisingly
02:10 surprisingly witty
02:12 Isn't that a delight? Yeah
02:16 Yes, I'm surprised you're surprised
02:19 I think mine is too short for comfort. I think that's really funny
02:24 So it sticks out it was someone saying that they did enjoy my work
02:27 But part of what made them enjoy it was that I was too short for comfort and I thought that was funny
02:33 I
02:37 Started doing podcasts before I was on SNL like comedy podcasts
02:41 And so people would come and find me on Instagram and I remember one comment being like I'm pissed off you look like this
02:48 And I'm like, okay
02:50 I think the first time I ever when I started SNL and I learned my lesson. I do not read I don't look I don't
03:01 Oh, yeah, when I first got on the show you have that moment. We're like
03:06 People are saying and it was like comment comment comment coming on and one of them just said she's ugly. No
03:12 I mean it was it's okay
03:15 It was before social media
03:19 Sentences and then just like she's ugly period and I was like mine said chipmunk cheeks
03:28 Yeah, so
03:34 I mean is that
03:36 Thing is that you can't go searching for the positive things
03:45 I don't read the positive things because I don't want to I don't get sucked into that reality. It makes you read nothing
03:51 People will tell you what the positive things are family grandma your mom
03:56 This is you got this and they said this and they said this this crazy thing is when it's silent
04:00 Then you know that there are not positive
04:04 So then you go and look for that
04:06 Okay, so what is the most transformative role sketch moment of your careers
04:15 Starting off real life. Yeah
04:30 Because I just cheered with Eggo when I got to do that sketch with you
04:34 because I felt like it was a moment where people who maybe didn't know me before Abbott they like
04:41 Realized that I could do comedy being you know, you guys know comedy's a spectrum
04:46 But beyond Janine and beyond what I'd done before getting to do that sketch with you in the car
04:50 That's my traffic altercation. Oh my goodness. We were just talking about that at work
04:54 Yeah, like amazing it was to see you come up with your own gestures for that
04:59 They didn't give you much direction for that and that was so fun
05:01 I got to pop in and do truly one thing in that sketch, but it was so fun. It was so fun
05:05 Yeah, and I that felt transformative. So I would say that one for me. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I would guess it was maybe
05:13 Honestly every time I get a job whatever job it is it's always like
05:28 And the funny thing is whatever you do people are like I can't believe you could do that. Yes
05:33 Yeah
05:38 Yeah, and now it's like is she a serious actor because yeah, I just think she's funny
05:44 It's just whatever you do is what you do in people's minds. It always feels transformative to get to do anything
05:50 So when it works, it feels transformative. Mm-hmm
05:53 I think for me is probably looking my first series regular on first wives Club
05:58 I'll be t+ yeah now Netflix. I know I
06:02 You know, I could I knew I could do the funny but what was really fun and important for me is that I had sex scenes
06:10 Mm-hmm, and as a size 1820, we don't get to be sexy. We get to be lucky that someone finds us attractive
06:17 I own my sexuality and I'm like this is important and we can make it funny
06:23 But it's mainly important. So let's go and get it. And so it was so amazing working with intimacy coordinators and directors who?
06:30 understood how I would be my most
06:33 comfortable and then sexy and
06:36 That really kind of changed how people cast me and how like I saw myself quite frankly and I'm like, let's go
06:45 Let's get dick down
06:51 I
06:53 Feel like that was before the huge push for them. So that's really nice to hear
06:58 Yeah, I mean that's the great thing about working on an all-female Ed show
07:02 Yeah
07:02 You know where the showrunner is female and you can go to your showrunner or your director who's also female and say
07:09 You know mother nature might be calling next week
07:20 You know, it's important and that's and that's why hiring us matters
07:24 I mean, I think this will count it was transformative in a personal way for me. I did a
07:34 Dance for CEO during the Grammys like years ago
07:38 Was I was releasing a relationship that was sort of like the sort of the
07:48 Subtext that I had and I didn't think I could do it
07:51 I was terrified to do it and I wasn't wearing a lot of clothes and I felt super vulnerable
07:55 And then after it was over I just like I released this thing and that it was very transformative
08:01 Something shifted after that in yourself, which I think is
08:05 Yeah, and we all know like being afraid to do something you have that moment before like why am I doing this?
08:12 Why am I just not home and then you do it? And then you're like, oh, that's why we keep yes
08:18 I'm back a little bit. Yeah
08:20 I just have to keep walking. Yep. Yeah
08:23 Cuz I remember sometimes it's not about the big job that everyone knows about I was in a like a small fashion show across the
08:35 Street from the soap opera I was on many years ago
08:37 And nobody was in there and that knew me which was probably why I felt so free and I remember walking around and realizing
08:44 That the more myself I was
08:46 The more I didn't care just the funnier I was yeah, I just kind of had a connection to power
08:52 That was always inside of me for the first
08:54 But it was the same thing I just yeah everything like yeah, yeah, this is where it is
09:07 Thank you first I was gonna say yes and now I'm like duh and then I was gonna say post SNL
09:16 But then I was gonna say bridesmaids, but then I was gonna go back to like
09:20 Different right like transformation is different like for me
09:30 Coming back to Saturday Night Live after I had my daughter was transformed formative because I didn't I I gave
09:39 No more fucks that was different for me because I cared so much and I was putting so many things in front of me
09:46 That were not serving me and so I was wasting a lot of time
09:51 worrying about what other people thought and doing the right thing and being a good girl and being a good student and being a good
09:58 daughter and
09:59 Working hard at SNL and writing my sketches and well, and then I was like, oh, all right. This is all
10:06 Yeah, fluffy light nice thing. Yeah, and it took that for me
10:11 That's not like the road for everybody, but that's what got me there, you know
10:16 And I had to be shaken out of the grip I had on
10:22 You think I shaking was the fact that you were another I had to stop being selfish. Yeah
10:36 I will get you
10:38 That's not what I mean for everyone because we all know that the road to
10:48 Motherhood is not for every woman
10:51 And it's also not easy for every woman and sometimes not possible for you or not destiny
10:57 So it's not to say like the universal like get kids like it's not like
11:03 That's what shook it out of yeah, but bridesmaids was also transformative not just because
11:10 People saw it and received it. Well, it was transformative because it was the first time I got to
11:16 Enjoy making a movie that was funny and have fun with people that I thought were funny
11:21 I felt like that was the first time we got to do that
11:24 I didn't have experiences like that before we would have fun and play at SNL but
11:30 It's rare to get to work and look at each other and say this is really funny
11:35 Yeah, I'm having fun or laugh with each other. That was transformative - yeah, it was a Brooke the Brooklyn Bowl
11:42 I saw your group Oh princess that was transformative for me
11:47 Because I'm like you don't have to do straight-up stand-up. You could do whatever you want and live your truth on stage
11:53 And so you love what you do so much that it affects the way you think and the way you think
11:59 So much that it affected me and I was like, yeah, I yeah, I can think outside the box. I had such a
12:05 Similar experience watching Amy and Tina's show in Vegas because they were just up there fucking around
12:10 Yeah, and I loved every minute of it and they brought out Rachel. It was my Super Bowl
12:15 Other comedy girl nerds, I'm drunk
12:24 But it was so inspiring that yeah, okay, we don't have to be like in the in the trenches forever
12:29 Like they just represented a sort of freedom to me that I hope to obtain. Yeah someday
12:34 But you're talking about being deep in it and I think that that was one of the things that I was thinking about in terms
12:47 of
12:48 transformative is that
12:50 experience time
12:52 Appreciation of what you do, which is what life gives you when you do something for a long time will give you that
12:58 Yeah, so that is coming
13:00 because you are
13:02 working
13:04 hard and that's
13:06 When you're in the middle of it, it feels like it's gonna be like this forever
13:11 Yeah, man
13:12 and being able to enjoy it appreciate it and exactly what you picked up on with Amy and Tina show is like watch people having
13:19 Fun and appreciating what they've got and each other that's yes
13:23 Yeah, and that's coming. What beautiful answers. I'm like, I know because I don't have a baby
13:31 I don't and I feel like you are being like, hey
13:39 I want to be clear that it's not necessarily a path for every woman and I'm not saying that that's the thing that's gonna transform
13:44 A woman's experience. I feel like you're so clear on that. I just want kids
13:48 So but I mean like so much of what you said and we kind of had a conversation
13:52 The the three of us had a conversation in December. I mean your voice has been in my head for weeks now
13:59 Because I've been just thinking about you going when I stopped giving a fuck it's like when it started to feel great
14:07 And truly just felt like play
14:09 SNL the schedule is you guys is so intense right and we are in such a grind
14:15 That when we have weeks off such as this one, I like pop out and I'm like, what did I just do?
14:21 Yeah, it truly is another world and I'm like what what just happened to me and how do I regain my personhood?
14:29 Yeah, and so everything you said was so meaningful to me then it's meaningful to me
14:33 Now the thing that felt so transformative for me is an SNL sketch
14:38 Ironically doing getting to do Lisa from to make the first time was so
14:45 fucking fun
14:46 It was so much fun and people who know me in my personal life or people who have listened to me
14:52 Be insane on podcasts or like that's the most her thing
14:56 On the show and I go five years
14:59 And you know, so people go you should write more things like that I go baby if you knew how the process
15:12 That week was sort of like I'm Emma I would send
15:15 Fuck it. I'm gonna I got seven hours of sleep on a writing night, which I don't think I'd ever done and I felt like
15:21 Oh, this is bad, but I was like, let's see. I've done everything. I'm an ink. I work really hard
15:26 I'm really diligent and Warren's always telling me audience doesn't care who works the hardest and I go
15:30 And I kind of surrendered to the process I did not write on that sketch and that's like one of the first things that was
15:40 a real moment for me at the show that I didn't even write on and then the night of we didn't think the sketch was
15:45 gonna go because it was bumpy at rehearsal and
15:48 when
15:49 Tom Broker who's our wardrobe guy that's no came by and was like announcing in the hallway like we're doing Lisa get dressed for Lisa
15:55 And I kind of was like really
15:56 Okay, it's the last sketch of the night whatever and I was getting to improvise because the chair wasn't supposed to fall
16:02 I was like, I'm getting to be I'm getting to do the thing that I do
16:07 I'm so passionate about improv. So I was like this was so fun and liberating and I could not have planned for it
16:13 Yeah, I could not have worked for it. I just had to play. Yeah
16:16 Sometimes we get into sometimes I get in my way all the time
16:21 So though it's in your case
16:24 It sounds like you know forcing yourself out of those patterns is obviously what was transformative and sometimes
16:31 The most transformative periods are the most painful or the you know coming out of the hardest thing
16:36 So I get that yeah, Michelle
16:38 I have heard you say that you're grateful to Netflix for and I'm gonna quote you here because it's too fun. No, no, no
16:44 Believing in a bitch because I've been tap dancing for multiple networks for a good while and my knees are tired
16:52 I
16:55 Didn't know you could tap dance
16:57 I've been tap dancing for the patriarchy for a good while and my knees are tired, but fish oil helps
17:06 Noted what do you think the sort of pivot was about where all of a sudden it was
17:10 Yes, we we accept you and your ideas and and this vision
17:15 auditioning for multiple networks that have different types of comedy
17:21 chasing that for a good decade felt like I was also chasing the wrong person to be with and I was constantly trying to
17:28 be whatever they needed and
17:32 Then I'd like do one for me at the end and that's how I always got a callback
17:36 But the job would always go to somebody
17:38 Who was well known or had more followers because everything's an algorithm or whatever it was
17:45 And so I was always the bridesmaid lol for so long
17:49 And I couldn't understand why because I was doing everything I was supposed to do. I did everything I you know, I
17:55 Practiced and you know, I'm a fun person on set, you know, I like food trucks
18:02 I
18:04 I'm dynamic. I'm charming. I want to know you're in a child and
18:09 Something really shifted when I
18:12 Realized I wanted to have kids and how hard that was and I started doing IVF and then I was traveling
18:19 Myself in a middle seat for a chemistry test
18:21 And then I have to get a note from the doctors to bring these needles for the IVF to put them through security
18:26 Then I'd have to go put like progesterone suppositories up my coochie wash my hands go shake the casting directors thing
18:33 Cuz it's a hope it's not coming out in my pants. How's everyone doing? Oh, this is great doing for you
18:39 Did it started crying at the end? It doesn't say you're supposed to cry
18:42 Because I was so outside of my body trying to really make something else work in my life
18:49 That was so hard and I was going through so much and I wasn't allowed to say anything
18:53 So still supposed to be happy clown. That's kind of when I started
18:57 Looking when I stopped really giving a fuck because I didn't have the bandwidth to yeah
19:03 like I literally had to leave and go cry and then like figure out like a good waterproof mascara cuz she was a mess she
19:10 was a mess
19:12 But the great thing working with Netflix is that there's so many different divisions and I love to host
19:17 You know, I used to I have a news background
19:21 Cuz my college professor told me I was too fat to be on camera when I told I want to be a journalist
19:25 Or he might be dead and so I did production instead and so I loved hosting and I you know
19:34 I love acting and I love stand-up and so I just have a license to do me
19:37 But I really didn't even understand that I had license to me
19:41 I thought I was doing me but my body and the universe was like no bitch
19:45 You know have several seats and so, you know after
19:48 You know five years of IVF and and some losses, you know, we welcome twins via surrogacy
19:54 yeah, and that made me just so like
19:57 When I say thankful, I mean like I am thankful to be in traffic
20:03 With these kids. I am thankful like for every single moment like it feels like nobody can yuck my yum
20:11 Yeah, you know what? I mean? And when people are going through some shit, especially like on set
20:16 I'm like, please go take 10 minutes. Take 20 minutes. Gather yourself. I understand you want a drink. I got some
20:23 I've heard you tell a story where you go home you go to church and
20:31 There is a reverend who lists off all of your credentials and then introduces you yes, and you are flabbergasted
20:40 Yes, why so it's 2005
20:43 I was starting on a soap opera and I was in a Broadway show
20:48 The color purple heard of it and the first one
20:52 So I went home to visit my dad and we were at church and then the reverend started saying we have a guest
20:59 Today and then he started, you know going on this list of this great
21:08 Wonderful, and she did this and she did that and I'm looking around
21:12 Like I'm so excited and at the very end he says Ron Goldsberry's daughter Renee Goldsberry and I'm shocked
21:23 Because I mean he literally said everything I was doing what I didn't recognize myself
21:28 Because the year I had I had had two very painful miscarriages
21:33 One was in the second trimester
21:36 Terribly emotionally pain
21:38 I mean like it was just so much that had gone on in that year
21:42 And so I stood up and I was like, thank you, you know, and I sat down but what I realized is that
21:47 People don't do anyone a service in this world by reading these bios
21:54 That are not representative of who we are to tell you know, Renee
21:57 Please go she's a Tony winner and like this is how they say this things to introduce you
22:02 But it really isn't who you are and quite honestly, it's not the most valuable part of who you're now
22:07 That's what they want you to what's most valuable about me are the things that I serve
22:12 Like I'm super excited to hear. Oh you guys might wanna have kids. I got stories. She got
22:18 I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to win a Tony. Yeah, but what you might not know
22:23 Yeah
22:23 It's how you keep going when you are trying to do two things at the same time
22:29 You have this many years you think to make it in your career and you have this many minutes to have a baby
22:34 Yeah, how am I gonna do this? We got answers. Yeah, I mean maybe not answers, but we got
22:39 Experience. Yeah, and so I just felt so strongly
22:43 We have to do a better job of telling the world who we are
22:48 I'm so grateful for opportunities like that because I sit down at a table like this and I'm looking I'm like
22:53 Oh my god, my publicists are killing me
22:55 I finally get to sit with these powerful and they're like they're like my heroes, right and why am I here?
23:05 Like no one wants to hear about the imposter syndrome, but but you but I tell myself when I walk out here
23:09 Can I please find something to say?
23:12 That really is representative of what matters. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?
23:18 Like nothing else matters but finding ways to connect to each other. Yeah that like just help us along the journey
23:24 I hear myself saying back to my kids sometimes you have to tell people who you are
23:29 You mentioned it earlier in terms of work about whether you know
23:33 Sometimes you're showing your dramatic side and people think oh, that's who you are now or I didn't know you could be that
23:40 You didn't know I could be a human being that had more than one feeling
23:44 People want you to be who they want you to know how they know you like
23:48 Usually that thing they introduce you with is like kind of the first thing you did
23:53 And I knew in my experience of being an other forever from the beginning
24:02 I had to tell people who I was I had to figure out who I was
24:06 Yes, I keep figuring it out and I was just gonna say that and I still figure it out but
24:12 For right now for today. I have to let people know. Yeah, because people love to make assumptions
24:18 And you know and we want to preserve our humanity and when people make those assumptions it strips your humanity
24:23 Yeah from you which also takes away your ability to be an artist, which is ultimately why I think all of us are here
24:30 We this is an art form a craft
24:32 Something that we wake up and you know, you you just do and you can't not do it
24:37 I've known who I am for a very long time
24:39 so it got interesting to be thrust into a spotlight and then people telling me who I am and I'm like you actually like
24:45 Thank you for supporting me, thank you for your love but like I might do some different shit tomorrow, right?
24:52 Yeah, and you might not like it and that's okay, but I do need you to show up and watch
25:03 That makes me feel like I'm doing a good job, but I think it strips the humanity especially of women just because we are
25:10 supposed to be so many someone I think Donald Glover recently described is like
25:15 It's high school to people and it's like you're the this girl. You're the that girl. Yeah, you're the that girl
25:22 And that's how they see you in their head. Yeah, if you get outside of that box, I must be violent
25:32 Being on television, yeah live in people's bedrooms. Yes, they watch us
25:36 We had a really good conversation in that car
25:58 Because I was going through a tough personal time and Quinta you were like, how are you and then you were like, you know
26:04 People don't realize you're gonna go live tonight in a few hours
26:08 But you have to deal with that and then show up and be this. Yeah, and yeah speaking to you know
26:14 people putting you in a box or
26:16 Deciding what your bio is is it can be so frustrating you feel so fortunate to be able to do what you do and to
26:22 Be on TV and perform what you're passionate about
26:25 But I'm like, I want you to know my humanity - yeah, I am but a human walking on this planet
26:31 Who's yeah, this cookie thing, right?
26:33 What you people have done is insanity like when I was little I wanted to be on SNL and then I hosted us and I was
26:41 Like I'm so saved
26:43 Man, you guys
26:45 You have to show up every week on Saturday doesn't matter if you're having a bad day
26:49 Yeah, it doesn't matter if you know what I mean doesn't matter if you had a miscarriage. Yeah, that's what no one cares
26:55 You know in that sketch
26:57 That on laugh but to your point
27:00 I'd have to do a college show
27:02 Like in February when we were on hiatus and it was stand up for an hour and my favorite part of the end
27:07 I got to ask this to us ask the students
27:09 I'm like anyone have any questions for me and one girl put her hand up and was like
27:12 How do you get over a breakup?
27:14 This is gonna stick with me forever I got to do my hee-haw has which I love and I was like, ah, yeah
27:22 A human moment. Yeah, I want to hug you and I did I asked for permission
27:26 I hugged her and I told her I was like, I now know I can give you my advice. Yeah. Yeah my hell I can help
27:33 I'm like I can help and that was so meaningful to me and I'm like
27:38 I want to be able to connect with people in that way
27:41 Yeah, and I love making people laugh, but I love I love the conversations we've had. I love the conversation, you know
27:46 That's what that's what makes me feel most alive. I do go back and forth because sometimes I'm like actually nobody talked to me
27:51 I don't know. I just like flip flop between whatever. I like that, protect your peace. Yeah, I was reading Instagram on the toilet. Sorry, I am multitasking.
27:58 Somebody asked Gabrielle Union about her skincare routine. Yeah, and
28:10 She was like cut all the people out of your life that you don't need
28:14 and drink water
28:19 I'm double tapping that and I'm talking about it because that's also really good. I used to do that
28:25 I used to like want to fix it and help me
28:27 I'm like for who so I'm like so I'm a good person. Like this is I know I'm a good person
28:32 Yeah, move on and know your boundaries. Yeah. Yes. Yeah boundaries aren't easy to set
28:38 It depends on who you are, but they're not always easy people don't respond well to them
28:42 That's probably like when you even if you feel like you can set a boundary
28:45 It's like oh, what's the reaction to the boundary gonna be I feel confident enough to set this. That's when you see who they are.
28:50 Kristen and Maya you have both been in the position that that Ago is in right now
28:56 I'm curious sort of what the advice you would give about a how to navigate a place like Saturday Night Live
29:01 But also how to navigate
29:03 What comes after SNL and knowing when it is time to move on from a place like that
29:13 You can navigate it that's how you navigate it like I don't everybody's it's not a plate like I I
29:20 Got the sense of the place when I got there and and I felt uncomfortable and I was like, oh, that's the show
29:27 Mm-hmm, and I was like, oh the moment I feel like I belong here is when I gotta go
29:31 You have to just embrace that like
29:36 You're not gonna figure it out and I don't know if that's helpful
29:40 Yeah, it helped me because it felt like there was a math problem. I wasn't getting
29:44 And there it's
29:50 So personalized everyone there has a completely different experience because you also have such an expectation
29:57 It's something that's a part of your life that you've been watching and then you get there and you think it's going to be something
30:03 Yeah an expectation usually leads to disappointment
30:07 Kill there's that but then I remember hearing you say that that you knew when it was cut, you know
30:13 It was time to go when you were comfortable. I didn't know I think I thought oh, this is gonna be the end for me
30:18 I'm gonna be there forever. And then I didn't know how to navigate getting out. But at the same time
30:23 What it's given me. I mean, I'm happy to talk about SNL and I don't work there anymore
30:30 But it's given me a foundation that has that has been transformative
30:35 I
30:37 Mean it has given me skills that I used all the time. Yeah, I
30:47 Problem-solve in a different way. I I mean collaboration
30:51 It's a collaboration learn how to work with people and also like when people say we can't do that. I know we can't yeah
30:57 Yeah, and they say we only have this amount of time. You're like I can go from this costume to that in 45
31:04 You tell me we have three minutes that's a long
31:06 It's a skill set you are learning comedy combat
31:12 Yeah, and you have a skill set now that you cannot teach it has to be learned and you can take it with you
31:18 I live for the grind and the discomfort of it all but then of course you want to be pissed about it
31:27 Sometimes like it's uncomfortable. Yeah, but when you speak about expectations going in going in as the seventh black
31:33 Woman on the cast it was this whole it's good. What's that experience going to be like and I was like I have
31:38 Relatively low expectations
31:41 I was just like I don't know that it's gonna be great and then moments where it feels so sweet the highs feel so high
31:48 Mm-hmm, and then keep and then I'm like why I want
31:50 That drug yeah, I want more that drug and that's the thing
31:55 I've been talking to myself about of there is such peace in the surrender to the process
32:00 Surrender to the fact that it is a puzzle. You're not really going to solve
32:04 It's not really a math equation and that pressure and discomfort you feel is
32:08 The thing I love this like I love when
32:12 Especially women from SNL get together and have real ass conversations about
32:18 What those expectations are like and that schedule and yeah, you know
32:23 Like all the things that happen to you like before during and after you know as a stand-up comedian
32:29 23 years doing stand-up alone
32:31 Very alone like the fact that they have that it's like a sorority. Yeah, it's amazing
32:37 There is a special bond that you cannot even explain to people
32:41 I love how you've got how accepting and affirming you are to people that were not in that club
32:46 Because I feel like you guys are a strong gang
32:50 And you're doing a lot of wonderful things and it seems like you go out of your way to be like hey, I see you
32:56 Yeah
32:57 I think it's because we're trained to sort of be underdogs
33:00 Like we're the underdogs there and then the beautiful movie star comes in
33:06 Sprinkles us and you say thank you and then they leave and so you have this vibe of like it's just I'm nothing
33:14 I'll make you I'll make you look good. Yeah, and that's good. Also being able to jump in with new people each week each week
33:22 Fascinated by it
33:27 No, I just think it's like the craziest thing in the world and I grew up watching it loving it loving you guys and then
33:32 Seeing in person is like yeah
33:35 Unreal you don't get enough credit and you get credit but you none of you get enough
33:41 Yeah, if somebody was on it for one season or it's an unreal job
33:46 I always say don't tell yourself no before someone else
33:53 Once you realize how the sausage is made it's like you might not want to I don't want to yuck your yum
33:58 Go off and see if you want to do
34:00 Quinta I feel like you had recently talked about
34:03 Wanting to adapt the guest and you wondered whether that was something you would be able that you would be trusted with
34:10 And you said because you're a black woman. This is not a black story
34:14 Is that from personal experience or is that based on the experiences of those that came before you and and and thus it was an assumption?
34:22 It was an assumption because similar to the boxes
34:25 We're talking about what you start out with or what people know you for yes
34:29 You know Abbott is not what I started out with oh, it is what people know me for which I'm grateful
34:34 The guest was a book I read and I felt like I see the vision I can adapt this
34:38 I really don't feel that way with books. I read a lot of books and I love them
34:42 But that was one where I said, oh man, I have the bug. I have the bug to adapt
34:48 I have the bug to like direct. I don't really have that bug
34:52 And people always ask you to an Abbott, but I don't want to direct to have it. I'm already doing too much on Abbott
34:57 I want to sit there and do my jobs, but that book is about a
35:01 flippant brain-birded white girl who's running around the Hamptons and she's so
35:07 Naive and I think it's so far from who I am as a person
35:12 That I do wonder if it'll become a struggle to try to make things that aren't about me
35:18 Another thing that was interesting with making Abbott is it is inspired by my mom's story
35:23 But I don't believe that's what makes it good. I study comedy. I do this. It's a good comedy because I like comedy
35:30 I hope that I don't have to get caught in the trap of being the source
35:34 Material because I don't want to be the source material forever
35:37 I don't think there's freedom in that like if I'm supposed to keep making shows or movies about myself, that is so
35:43 Limiting and it goes into what we're talking about. I don't want to keep
35:47 Providing my soul to make things and I think it has become an expectation for people of color and it's not an expectation for
35:55 White people white men, but I think for a lot of black women they're like give us your insides
36:01 Yeah, yeah, I don't want to do that anymore
36:03 If I want to make a show about a dinosaur
36:05 I want to be able to make a show about a duck and not a black dinosaur just like a green dinosaur
36:09 Just a regular ass
36:11 Dinosaur dinosaur could be blue. It could be blue
36:15 That's the thing that maybe isn't that relatable but I feel hyper specific is is like
36:20 Something that I feel I experienced in many other creators of color
36:25 Why don't I bring my trauma?
36:27 Say oh your mom's story is so incredible like we're gonna make a TV show that and I was like, that's the drama
36:35 I don't want to I don't want to write I don't want to do that drama
36:37 I don't I wouldn't even want that. I wouldn't want to do that to my mother
36:41 Hey, I don't think she wants her store like right, you know
36:45 I was like that's such a fascinating instinct when she heard a bit about me like we're gonna make that a show and I'm like
36:51 It's not for consumption, right?
36:53 Want to see you the way they want. Yeah. Yeah, they kind of have an urge to
37:00 Like keep seeing you bleed. Yeah, and I don't really want to do that with my career. I would really love to
37:08 Eventually make things that have nothing to do with me for me
37:11 It's such an honor and a privilege to be a plus-size woman writing stories. Yeah about my New York
37:17 With non-binary people and trans people, but I shouldn't have to have a meeting about
37:23 code switching
37:25 Yeah, and explain to you why?
37:27 This black woman who was 53 is a millionaire and a boss
37:32 But she also says the n-word
37:34 She's also bisexual and she's a lot of other things that you probably can't understand but don't worry about it. Those people do exist
37:41 So like just explaining that to people is so crazy
37:46 I know this is sounds crazy, but like I'll sit there and watch Dune and I'm like
37:51 Yeah, I want it. What is the dune of my Rudolph's dreams? What is this?
37:56 Like do I have to be so closely associated with my does my personal story need to be so associated with my work all the time
38:04 Yeah, like I really hope not because I think that is
38:07 Limiting for the creative space. I think we're missing out on a lot of fun sci-fi stuff because if I walk in there like
38:14 Tell us about being a black woman
38:17 And I also think that what's frustrating about it is that you are thinking those things and you may
38:33 Create something and let's say it doesn't happen
38:35 We don't know what that project is
38:37 But I do think by doing that it is going to find its way somewhere. We just may not reap the benefits
38:43 Yes, but somebody is feeling that shift because there are so many times where I've seen something done and think oh
38:48 Why didn't I think of it? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have to make it autobiographical. Yeah, but you're absolutely right that inherent
38:59 Expectation is usually there. Yeah, and I think it's just a matter of how you deal with it. Yeah, ignore it
39:05 Yeah, do you bypass it? Yeah, do you delve into it one for them one for me?
39:10 Yeah, and any of it and it's all correct. None of its incorrect. Yeah, but it everybody's correct is different
39:17 Yeah, so what's everyone's Willy Wonka or everyone's doing?
39:20 What's the thing that you would love to to do that? No one's yet asked you to do
39:24 I want to be in a heist movie
39:26 Oh, I could see
39:28 See me robbing a bank. Yeah
39:32 Absolutely, okay, this is gonna sound dumb but bluey I know about because my nieces and nephews
39:39 I'm like, you know a little bluey or
39:53 Just something so silly and unrelated to me and and I get to hide in the shadows
39:58 So my dream is to make like a blue
40:00 What's your bluey what you're doing what you're blue I have so many
40:09 unfinished
40:12 There are some things that I've been working on for the last five or six years
40:17 That that I kind of want to do before I say do all the other stuff I want to do which is
40:23 Yeah, I'd like to I mean I've been in Marvel. I'd like to I'd like to circle back and have a superpower this
40:29 Power gonna be I really just want to have the gift
40:44 Really I just want to know cuz you know how much time we spend stressed out and worried about things that don't
40:49 Yeah, I just want to have that
40:53 Yeah, I love it which is why they're not calling so yeah for me there's some unfinished things I have a pop album of original
41:02 Music. I want to get out. Yes. I have a documentary about what we were just talking about
41:06 Which is you know, the juggle between trying to have children and trying to launch the show Hamilton that's coming out
41:12 Well, I have biopics that I'm working on about women who the world needs to remember and know
41:18 I feel like it's a beautiful thing
41:21 To be in a place where you're like I did this thing
41:26 I have created this show that is speaking to my tribe
41:31 And you have to get there to say the really genius thing
41:34 You just said which is and now I want to do something else. Yeah. Yeah. So where I'm at is I want to get there
41:41 Yeah, what I do love about this business is probably what people hate about it is that it's unpredictable
41:47 And so I never know what's gonna happen and I love that for me that keeps me interested
41:52 I feel like every day should be a surprise in a good way in a productive way. However, that means and
41:58 Honestly, I feel like I'm doing it and I just want to do more of it, you know fat black brown queer
42:07 Content because now that I have these children, I just want to make sure that it happens with the arts, you know that I'm
42:14 putting in all the allyship and
42:18 comedy ship in female ship
42:20 Into what I do because this is how I express myself and this is my legacy for these littles
42:27 I'm so grateful to be here listening to you guys today
42:33 I can't even tell you like everything you guys are talking about is really like hitting
42:38 Different points of my heart right now and what you said about
42:43 Going out of that sort of comfort zone or like the zone. I
42:47 Really needed to hear that because I've been trying to write something for a while and I kind of put it away
42:52 It's not really a comedy and I think I've been practicing
42:58 How I talk to people about it in a defensive way to say it's not a comedy, but wait just listen
43:05 It might yeah, it might be cool. Yeah, I think because I'm I'm
43:09 Writing it sort of on my own and I all of the stuff I've written has been a
43:14 Comedy and people expect that for me
43:17 I'm already putting that thing in front of me of like are you sure you want to do this?
43:20 Like you don't really know how to do this and I've been stuck with it for like months and months
43:25 It's been kind of driving me crazy and like I believe in these little moments in the universe where people
43:31 Connect with you and I'm I'm like, I don't know
43:34 it just feels very like I have to figure out what my voice is and just
43:38 Put it out there and not worry about that stuff
43:41 Because the categorizing I think of things that we've all done. I didn't quite realize was such a
43:48 weight blanket, yeah, and
43:51 You know, yeah, I think it's so funny
43:56 Because people sometimes are like, you know
43:59 You can't do this even if they don't say it out loud. It's like assumed sometimes
44:03 I feel like if you haven't done drama, they make it seem like comedy is harder
44:06 And if you haven't done comedy, they make it seem like I mean if you have done comedy
44:10 They make it seem like drama is whatever it is. Yeah, yeah constantly do that and I just think it's
44:15 Bullshit it is
44:18 Bullshit and it is so exciting
44:21 Yeah for me to hear you say my way
44:25 But you are about to write something well, it's scary I mean even you said dune I was like that's literally visually sort of yeah
44:32 This thing in my head and it might be a little comedic but the self-talk around it of like
44:39 How do I explain to people? Are they even gonna say? Yes, because I've done things that are
44:44 Dramatic on the page that I thought we're gonna be dramatic and then you get there and they're like you can
44:52 I've done dramatic scenes and I've been in a screening where I do something and then people laugh
44:56 You know what I mean, so I don't know I tried not to think about what I was gonna say and just talk
45:06 Just want to say and I said this to you upstairs
45:11 Watching you do and Linda at table. Okay. Yeah, Tom
45:17 We've tons and tons of tons of hosts at SNL. Everyone's wonderful. Everybody's incredible
45:22 Watching you do that at table and I sit four seats away for five. I was like, this is an artiste
45:29 What made it so fantastic to me was the nuance of that performance which comes from I'm an artist
45:36 Yes, right. Yeah, and not that you need to hear from me
45:38 But I should tell you because I'm like I was gushing to one of the producers. I was gushing to Heidi
45:43 I was just like I
45:45 Feel like I learned something and that is a person who is not just I'm silly
45:49 I'm gonna do hijinks and make you laugh. I was like what made that so incredible to watch was like you were acting like
45:56 Yes, what you were saying was funny
45:58 But I was like, yeah, I know this I know this woman and I we read 40 sketches at our table
46:03 Yeah, no, no, we've I've been there for six seasons and seen tons of hosts. Everybody's phenomenal, but I just remember that performance
46:10 I'm like you can do anything
46:14 If you like make someone laugh all of a sudden all the rest of the stuff all the groundwork you put under is like
46:20 Tomorrow is not promised and I love that every day feels different
46:27 Like this is but this is what I'm talking
46:30 It's so amazing to be in this career and still feel crazy and nervous
46:42 You don't you don't wish it on yourself, yeah, but that's always a great
46:46 Excited to see what everyone at this table is gonna not be afraid to do
46:55 Be in your movie
46:59 More of a lightning round you've had a long day of work. What do you turn on your TV?
47:07 Bravo, I'm not shamed. You're a Real Housewives girl, right? Yeah
47:12 Bob's Burgers, uh, only murders in the building. Yeah, yeah queer. I
47:16 Yes, I watch that with my girls. You know what? Honestly, it's something I've never done in my entire life
47:21 I'm doing now. It's just so pathetic that I'm saying this but I turn on girls
47:25 Myself I do not watch but I'm literally I literally turn that was a good old baby
47:34 It makes me because I didn't realize until season three that it exists for me. Yeah
47:41 only because I
47:43 Have been sitting there doing that show all this time and still I come home and I question my ability
47:49 To dream this ambitiously at my age. I
47:53 Mean I'm doing the show
47:56 About these women who are absurdly dreaming about getting back and to be pop music stars after 20 years later
48:03 And then they are ridiculous. Yeah, that is there so that I remember I'm allowed to still dream
48:09 Yeah, you can be 50 and dream. Don't let the world tell you that it is absurd to do something new
48:16 Ever who cares? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's all I'm gonna be in that. Um, what's her name son?
48:21 Which one's your name in the show? I do
48:23 Sarah Burrell. Yeah, she
48:35 About medium time I coming to say how great it is
48:37 It's really was just this idea that like there's a night there is a level of fame
48:41 That's right in the middle. Maybe nobody knows you are but you got a job
48:46 Yeah that actually has value and worth and don't let anybody tell you it doesn't matter
48:50 All right, so what was the first thing when you get your first real paycheck what's what's the first splurge crab lake dinner
48:58 I took all my friends to a crab lake dinner
49:02 The first time all my friends from Philly who all of us were broke dead broke like
49:07 Bananas and cup of noodles every day for lunch dinner breakfast, whatever and I took them all out to a crab lake dinner
49:14 And I still like to do that
49:16 The money was spent
49:19 From HMO to PPO. Yeah. Yeah, and I bought and I bought some hair
49:29 I
49:31 Marched myself into Tiffany's
49:47 SNL and Emily Spivey told me to and I about myself some gold bang
49:56 See where I bought gold jewelry - but it was from major II because I was still scared
50:00 I can wash my hands. Yeah. This was a long time ago gold has really raised
50:22 I don't remember. I don't think I did anything. I don't
50:26 Lift weights and leather pants
50:45 All right, what's the most used emoji on your phone? Oh, no
50:51 Oh, yeah, everything I do. I got this one. Yeah, mine's the laughing so hard. I'm crying. So it's like
50:59 - the melting smiley face. Yeah, because that is me. This is so yeah
51:05 It's the yellow heart or that
51:08 Creative based off
51:19 Texting he didn't know he thought that was a smile so he would text me be like, hi. I love you
51:23 To write lol cuz she thought it meant
51:32 Wait, why did she do you have the same uncle? I thought it was lots of love
51:46 - upside down smiley face or the
51:48 Ring hands is up there somewhere. Yeah
51:53 In honor of girls 5eva, what would you each name your girl group? Oh, maybe trans for
52:00 Misha
52:02, I'm sorry
52:16, but that's how it works
52:22 I
52:24 Sometimes when you see people on stage you're like, I want I want I want I want to be that I want to do that
52:50 I want to be her know her. That's what it was
52:53 Having done it is like especially Hamilton because everybody all your heroes came to see it
53:00 It's like the most amazing people in the world would say
53:02 Can I tell you
53:09 How much scarier SNL is? Well, that's what they think
53:13 Can I tell you how much scarier it is to do what you guys are doing?
53:17 Which is starring and writing and writing and like I guess that's what's so beautiful about what you said
53:22 Is that you just need to know that whatever is scary you've already been you've already trained for it
53:28 Yeah, and you just don't know it and I'm super excited
53:30 I mean if you just have the bravery to say out loud you want to do it. It's done. Yeah
53:45 She knows she did she did a commercial I was like
53:48 You better do it and then for you, okay, so the circle was my pandemic show, oh my god
53:55 The girl who hosts this like she's mad fun and I'm like, that's Michelle
54:01 So whatever I'm saying all this to say all of you
54:05 I think are the most dynamic women and you can do whatever you want
54:08 And I know we're all comedy girls and you make people laugh and they forget about how like dynamic you actually are
54:14 But look at like what?
54:16 Every time I meet people that I'm just kind of enamored with they're always better
54:25 Thank you all for doing this so we do one last year
54:30 Thank you transformation
54:32 Oh, I'll try go I
54:42 Gotta say as an actress and stand-up comic I felt right at home with these insightful funny supportive and even dare
54:53 I say dramatic women, you know what we call that in Hollywood
54:57 Strange. Well until the next time I'm Yvonne orgy and this is off script with
55:03 Hollywood
55:05 You
55:07 You
55:09 (upbeat music)