The Caped Crusader sure knows how to make us laugh! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Dark Knight’s funniest lines across all of his on-screen appearances.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00What are your superpowers again?
00:03I'm rich. Welcome to WatchMojo
00:06and today we're counting down our picks for the Dark Knight's funniest lines
00:11across all of his on-screen appearances. Sometimes in order to right a wrong
00:15you have to do a wrong right. Gandhi said that.
00:20Number 10. Startle the tenants. Batman.
00:23Sounds like a challenge to me. Challenge?
00:28He's always been one for a grand entrance,
00:31but very rarely does he feel the need to explain it.
00:34Kicking off things with a classic Adam West TV show.
00:37Here, Batman explains his reasoning for coming in through Barbara's window
00:41when in reality he could have just come and knocked on the door.
00:45Sorry to bother you this time of night, Miss Gordon.
00:48We would have entered the building by more conventional means,
00:51but we didn't want to startle the tenants.
00:53Fair enough, Bruce.
00:55The quote conjures up the image of the dynamic duo casually climbing
00:58the building staircase as Barbara's housemates stare in bewilderment,
01:02which is funny enough on its own.
01:04But it's the sheer genuine politeness of the lines delivery
01:07that makes it extra hilarious.
01:10Gosh, Batman, his camel grass juice is great.
01:13Beware of strong stimulants, Robin.
01:16Number nine.
01:17This is why Superman works alone.
01:19Batman and Robin.
01:21I freeze. I'm Batman.
01:24It's fair to say Batman and Robin isn't everyone's favorite film.
01:27Joel Schumacher's second Batman installment is usually talked about
01:31as being hilarious for all the wrong reasons.
01:34But it isn't all bad for all its dumb moments.
01:37There's one Batman line to Robin that ticks the box as one rare interaction
01:42between the Gotham crime fighters that actually works.
01:46I want a car.
01:50Chicks dig the car.
01:52This is why Superman works alone.
01:54We have to wonder, though, if Superman exists in this world,
01:58where was he when Mr.
01:59Freeze was looking to turn Gotham into an ice cube?
02:02Their bones water into ice.
02:07Their blood will freeze in my hands.
02:10Number eight.
02:11I made him make it.
02:13Harley Quinn.
02:14Robin, what are you doing here?
02:15Where's Batman?
02:16You think Batman has time to deal with you gutter snipes?
02:20You're lucky I even showed up.
02:22As a young superhero comes of age, finding a proper nemesis
02:25is an important rite of passage.
02:28In this early episode of Harley Quinn, young Robin is dealing
02:31with that very problem.
02:32Frustrated that he's not yet found arch enemy to be.
02:36The young vigilante mopes in the Batcave and it's Bruce Wayne
02:39to the rescue with some elderly wisdom.
02:42I'm going to say something embarrassing here.
02:44I didn't have a nemesis until my late 20s.
02:48Don't patronize me, father.
02:50It's unbecoming.
02:51It's true.
02:52But the best part of the exchange is the way Batman attempts
02:55to break the ice with Robin's favorite sandwich.
02:58When his astute protege quickly identifies the sandwiches
03:02obvious origins, Bruce delivers this delicious counterpoint.
03:06I've made your favorite.
03:07You didn't make that.
03:08Alfred made that.
03:10I made him make it.
03:11The Crusaders reaction is surprisingly charming,
03:14as though Robin's observation was just a technicality.
03:17Batman might not have put in the legwork, but his heart
03:20was in the right place.
03:22Number seven.
03:23So that's what that feels like.
03:25The Dark Knight Rises.
03:27Batman sure has built himself a reputation of abruptly
03:30disappearing on people.
03:31He thinks you're dangerous.
03:33What do you think?
03:36I think you're trying to help.
03:37It's not just in the Christopher Nolan franchise either.
03:40Throughout different versions on screen and off, the disappearing
03:44act has become one of the Dark Knight's signature traits.
03:47Who are you?
03:49Someone like you.
03:51Someone who rattled the cages.
03:53In the third installment of the Dark Knight trilogy, though,
03:55we finally see Batman get a taste of his own medicine.
03:59After rescuing Selina Kyle, Batman expects a polite thank you.
04:03Instead, she vanishes.
04:05And the Dark Knight is reminded of what he's been doing to people for years.
04:13It's Kyle.
04:14So that's what that feels like.
04:19That's what you get for not just saying goodbye like a normal person.
04:23Number six.
04:24My ego's far too big.
04:26The Flash.
04:27Having Wonder Woman as an ally can come with some inconveniences.
04:31Barry Allen and Bruce Wayne find this out the hard way
04:34when they're rescued by her lasso of truth in The Flash.
04:37It stays tangled around Batman's wrist just a little too long,
04:41leaving time for him to spout some embarrassing honesty.
04:44And you are welcome.
04:47My ego's far too big to say thank you to someone else.
04:50His admissions may be obvious, but it's still hilarious
04:53to see the egomaniac utter his flaws and insecurities aloud.
04:57Wayne's contempt about the confession is written all over his scowl,
05:01and that makes it all even more gleeful.
05:04Even The Flash drops some truth bombs when he touches the golden rope.
05:08I know sex exists.
05:09I've just never experienced it.
05:12Needless to say, both heroes are relieved to be freed of the lasso's curse
05:16and Diana's amused satisfaction mirrors our own.
05:19There was just no way to recover from that.
05:21Just let it go.
05:23Well, I'd really love to stay and clean up more mess,
05:26but this little superhero needs his breakfast.
05:28Goodbye, Flash.
05:29Number five.
05:30I'm not wearing hockey pads.
05:33The Dark Knight.
05:34I told you my compound would take you places.
05:38I never said they'd be places you wanted to go.
05:41When Dr.
05:41Crane and his thugs meet with the Chechen to discuss the effect
05:44of the Scarecrow's fear toxin, a few copycat caped crusaders
05:48arrive at the scene armed with guns and donning low rent bat costumes.
05:53Eventually, however, the real deal does arrive and it's quite the entrance.
06:03That's more like it.
06:05After Batman takes down his overzealous fans,
06:08one of them defends their actions by saying they're only trying to help.
06:11The copycat also asked Batman what the difference is between the two of them,
06:15to which the Dark Knight gives a very blunt and very funny answer.
06:20What's the difference between you and me?
06:22I'm not wearing hockey pads.
06:25Number four.
06:27Children can be cruel.
06:28The Lego Batman movie.
06:30Please stand over over there and don't touch,
06:33look at or do anything for the remaining moments you have in my presence.
06:37Batman and Robin haven't always seen eye to eye in multiple versions.
06:42Batman has been reluctant to even have a sidekick,
06:45with Bruce Wayne often seeing Dick Grayson or Tim Drake
06:48as too young for being vigilantes in the Lego Batman movie.
06:52Dick meets Bruce Wayne at a party.
06:58Bruce Wayne is the greatest orphan of all time.
07:02Singing in a choir full of orphans,
07:04he spots his idol and seeks some advice on getting adopted.
07:07Distracted, Bruce is so oblivious to Dick
07:10that he just writes his nickname off as the kids teasing him.
07:13I'm just so jazzed to meet you, sir.
07:15I'm sorry. Did you say jazzed?
07:17Yes. My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.
07:20Well, children can be cruel.
07:21It works out for the soon to be boy wonder, though,
07:24as Bruce is so absent minded that he agrees to adopt him.
07:28That's a verbal contract.
07:29Number three.
07:31I'm a rich kid with issues.
07:33Justice League.
07:34Don't you ever wish you were down there?
07:36I'm down there all I need to be.
07:38Yes, but it's just a job to you.
07:40I'm talking about going down there and having some fun.
07:43Maybe maybe with someone special.
07:46Whether he's had his mask on or not, it's safe to say that Bruce Wayne
07:50has had a fair share of women in his life.
07:53You're the second man who killed me this week.
07:56But his relationship with fellow Justice League member Wonder Woman
07:59has usually never been more than a will they won't they kind of thing.
08:03Whether you'd like them to hook up or you think the Amazonian princess
08:06is just too good for the brooding bat in this animated series,
08:10Batman is the one who's not interested as he lists all the reasons
08:14why he and Diana should never date.
08:16All good points, if you ask us.
08:18Dating within the team always leads to disaster, too.
08:22You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors.
08:24I'm a rich kid with issues.
08:26Lots of issues.
08:28Number two.
08:29Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.
08:31Batman, the movie.
08:34Everyone play for your lives.
08:38In one of the most iconic and memorable moments
08:40from the Adam West era movie, Batman tries his darndest
08:44to find somewhere safe to leave a bomb.
08:47Unfortunately, there are innocent people and ducks everywhere he goes.
08:52As we begin to wonder just how long the bombs fuses,
08:56Batman delivers this wonderfully on the nose bit of dialogue.
09:00Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.
09:03Delivered with Adam West's trademark comedic timing.
09:06This quote serves as a great punch line to the madness that precedes it.
09:10And while Christian Bale's Batman never says this line out loud,
09:14we bet he was thinking it during the climax of The Dark Knight Rises.
09:18What are you doing?
09:19I can get it out over the bay.
09:21Is that it to fly out over the water with a jet?
09:24No autopilot.
09:26Before we get to our topic, here are a few honorable mentions.
09:30Iron Man sucks.
09:31The Lego Batman movie throwing shade at his competitor.
09:36What is the password?
09:37Iron Man sucks. Thank you.
09:40I could never get past the title Batman, the animated series.
09:44Bruce could learn a few things from George Bailey.
09:47OK, I'll make a deal with you.
09:48If we go out on patrol and Gotham is quiet with no sign of the Joker,
09:53we come back here, have Christmas dinner and watch.
09:56It's a wonderful life.
09:58You know, I've never seen that.
10:00I could never get past the title.
10:03Eat floor high fiber.
10:05Batman returns.
10:06He's just looking out for Catwoman's health.
10:08No sweat.
10:09I'll just tell the police I was kidnapped by an ugly bird man with fish breath.
10:12Somebody say fish?
10:14I haven't been fed all day.
10:17Eat floor.
10:20High fiber.
10:21I can't fly at all.
10:23Justice League Unlimited.
10:25He's a bad in name only.
10:30Batman to all points.
10:32I could use some air support since I can't fly at all.
10:35Before we continue, be sure to subscribe to our channel
10:39and ring the bell to get notified about our latest videos.
10:42You have the option to be notified for occasional videos or all of them.
10:46If you're on your phone, make sure you go into your settings
10:49and switch on notifications.
10:51Number one.
10:52I only work in black and sometimes very, very dark gray.
10:57The Lego movie.
10:58Bruce Wayne.
10:59Uh, who's that?
11:01Sounds like a cool guy.
11:03With a few possible exceptions.
11:05Never in the onscreen of the Batman has he uttered such absurd
11:08and genuinely comedic one liners.
11:10Babe, look, if this relationship is ever going to work between us,
11:14I need to feel free to party with a bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it.
11:18What?
11:21I will text you.
11:23Where'd you get that sweet space cape, brother?
11:25In a film full of pop culture references for older audiences,
11:29the writers took their chance to make Batman fun for everyone.
11:32Lego Batman's self-referential humor not source
11:36a history of the character and parodies the Dark Knight's
11:39more self-serious portrayals in a way that's so ridiculous.
11:43Even fans of Batman's darker moments can't help but laugh.
11:46Like an underwater spaceship.
11:48But you can't build all of them at once.
11:50Ready? Break.
11:52OK.
11:52These are the colors I need.
11:53Blue razzleberry and sour apple.
11:55If anybody has black parts, I need them, OK?
11:57I only work in black and sometimes very, very dark gray.
12:01This is a line that delights both hardcore comic book fans
12:05and younger audiences alike.
12:07Which Batman line made you grin from ear to ear?
12:10Tell us in the comments.
12:11You want to get nuts? Come on.
12:13Let's get nuts.
12:15Because I just wrote a song about how I'm going to kick all your butts.