Married at First Sight NZ S4 Episode 7
Married at First Sight NZ S4 Episode 7
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 Previously, a surprise invitation.
00:06 You are invited to celebrate the wedding of Kara and Jesse.
00:12 The fifth and final Maths NZ wedding.
00:14 Cheers to my wedding day.
00:18 On a perfect day in paradise.
00:23 As the newlyweds bond grew.
00:26 Something about his presence that just made me feel accepted already.
00:30 Hello.
00:31 She seems very genuine with the way she holds herself and talks.
00:36 Others started to see their partners in a new light.
00:39 I would probably shag your husband.
00:40 Yeah, he's an optimist.
00:41 Maybe I should shave my husband.
00:42 I feel like I'm so good for him.
00:43 Aw, nice having a cry.
00:44 Good on him for being vulnerable.
00:45 Yeah, babe.
00:46 With one couple facing brewing tension.
00:47 I am vulnerable.
00:48 I told you I'm vulnerable.
00:49 I'm not going to be a good husband.
00:50 I'm not going to be a good husband.
00:51 I'm not going to be a good husband.
00:52 I'm not going to be a good husband.
00:53 I'm not going to be a good husband.
00:54 I'm not going to be a good husband.
00:55 I told you, when I'm in a situation, I'm just like, you can't help yourself from like
01:00 holding it back till the cameras come and not for you to be vulnerable.
01:08 Tonight.
01:09 Here we go.
01:10 We're here to give it 24 hours a freaking day.
01:15 Our couples moving together.
01:20 This is like the toughest thing I've ever done, you know.
01:24 Our first argument wardrobe space.
01:27 And welcome to confessions week.
01:30 There's no debt.
01:32 I just get bored easily.
01:34 I don't want to scare off with anything, but it's also important for her to understand
01:40 what lies beneath.
01:41 I've been rejected a lot throughout my life.
01:43 I really can't with this right now.
01:45 And Maddie and Nate face an intervention with the experts.
01:49 You don't want to be thinking about that, Maddie, at all.
01:52 Can I come in here?
01:53 Oh, my gosh.
02:16 And we're home, baby.
02:17 The moving in together stage is very important in this experiment because essentially it
02:22 is a real life challenge that all couples have to face at some stage.
02:26 Here we go.
02:27 Here we go.
02:28 Oh, this is nice, isn't it?
02:32 They have to learn about personal space, about boundaries.
02:38 Hello, Auckland.
02:39 We are back.
02:40 I'm back.
02:41 Well, you're back.
02:44 About how to get along on the day to day.
02:47 Look, I zed in my bowels.
02:49 We'll be ordering in and here we are.
02:51 You know, just following through with the promises.
02:53 I said I'm all in, so let's go.
02:58 Some people are very good at this, while other couples, it becomes too much and they start
03:02 to unravel.
03:05 I think our honeymoon was epic.
03:09 You know, like it was really what it needed to be.
03:11 Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of learning about one another, wasn't there?
03:18 After a strong start to their marriage, cracks appeared in Mike and Kara's relationship.
03:23 I feel like your personality is so big, it's like overshadowing mine.
03:29 I am concerned about the reasons that you're here.
03:32 I don't need my character brought up like this because you know that's not the truth.
03:38 I've taken it down a gear or two.
03:40 Yeah, I think you've definitely listened.
03:42 I feel heard.
03:43 Go on a wee bit more with the flow for me.
03:46 Mike and I are taking it day by day.
03:48 We had a pretty fun honeymoon overall.
03:51 I'm leaning into the romance.
03:53 It's cool.
03:54 Yeah.
03:55 Whether or not I trust why Mike's here, I'm still not sure if I have an answer to that.
04:01 But he's working with me and I'm hard work, so you know, I'm blessed.
04:06 I don't feel like there's a tension in the room or anything that's been left unsaid.
04:10 The beauty of communicating, right?
04:14 You know, it's a bit of a jokey hard time when she gives me, she actually really is
04:17 a good listener.
04:18 Hello.
04:19 Hi, KFC delivery.
04:20 Beautiful.
04:21 Thank you very much.
04:22 Sounds good.
04:23 And she is here to really keep an open mind.
04:26 Oh, I think this one might be a bit of you, babe.
04:29 Oh, yep.
04:30 I think the next step now is just a bit of play, a bit of jokey.
04:34 See, that would get all in my bed.
04:36 You know, a bit of fun.
04:39 There's nothing I'm more skilled at than ordering food off a nap.
04:42 Wifey for lifey.
04:43 OK, so I'm thinking this is my wardrobe.
04:50 Yeah.
04:51 This is my wardrobe.
04:52 Yeah.
04:53 What do I get this?
04:54 You get up here.
04:55 I'll also need those drawers.
04:56 No, no, no, no.
04:57 I feel really good moving in with Sam.
04:58 It's just carried on being very easy.
04:59 Our first argument, wardrobe space.
05:00 We just get along so well and it just feels normal, like it doesn't feel weird.
05:01 It's just a bit of a bit of a mess.
05:02 I'm just going to get a bit of a nap.
05:03 I'm going to get a bit of a nap.
05:04 I'm going to get a bit of a nap.
05:05 I'm going to get a bit of a nap.
05:06 I'm going to get a bit of a nap.
05:07 I'm going to get a bit of a nap.
05:08 I'm going to get a bit of a nap.
05:10 We just get along so well and it just feels normal, like it doesn't feel awkward or hard.
05:14 Can you give me a massage?
05:16 Oh.
05:17 Please.
05:18 I feel like we're getting stronger every day, which is really, really nice.
05:22 Oh my gosh!
05:27 Look!
05:28 It's better that it was yesterday.
05:31 I know.
05:32 And then it wasn't.
05:33 I do like Jessie.
05:34 Honestly, we've had the best 24 hours together.
05:37 Your face says it all.
05:39 You're a lucky man.
05:40 There definitely is a spark.
05:43 We just already get along really well.
05:45 I'm looking forward to what living together all entails, you know?
05:48 It feels like it's been a bit hard to talk lately.
05:54 Yeah.
05:55 Oh my gosh, she's staying.
05:59 There was an instant connection at their wedding ceremony.
06:03 Just flexing on me real quick, that's all right.
06:06 And Pidipi's immature behaviour...
06:08 Oh, they're back!
06:09 Oh, shit!
06:10 ...has made Steph wary.
06:13 He's quite a boy's boy.
06:15 Last night when you disappeared, just was a bit shit.
06:21 Last night we went to the wedding of Cara and Jessie.
06:27 I think Pidi had quite a few cocktails.
06:32 And just walking back to our room, she just mentioned that I was a boy's boy and immature.
06:38 She feels like she has to kind of baby me in a sense,
06:41 which, yeah, I didn't respond to that very well, I think.
06:45 And then we got into a bit of a back and fro.
06:48 He told me that he thinks I take life too seriously.
06:51 And he thinks I take myself too seriously.
06:55 He left the apartment and I was asleep before he got back.
07:01 And then he slept on the couch.
07:03 Yeah, I think that...
07:08 I just want to know that, like, you're here for the right reasons,
07:12 and, like, you want to prioritise the marriage and not, like, the friendship with the boys.
07:19 And I don't think that I should be waking up, like, by myself, like, day four of our marriage.
07:29 I'm really sorry for that.
07:31 I'm... For some reason, I thought the best thing to do was to give you space.
07:35 And that wasn't the right thing to do.
07:38 I should have stayed and tried to make things right with you.
07:43 I've really enjoyed getting to know you and spending our time together.
07:46 And the last day was...
07:48 I want to know, like, what. Like, I don't... Like, I just feel like you have, like, these blanket statements.
07:54 And I just get concerned about the actual, like, depths of the words that you're saying.
08:00 I want to find love. I honestly do.
08:04 And learning to open up the last week has been amazing.
08:08 Mm.
08:09 But I need to try harder with that.
08:11 Well, I think that's a good start.
08:14 I think you're very pretty. I tell you that nearly every day.
08:18 Don't know if you believe me or not, cos sometimes you're just like, 'Whatever.'
08:21 (LAUGHS)
08:23 I feel better. (LAUGHS)
08:25 Yeah? Can I give you a hug?
08:27 Yeah.
08:29 I still think she's great. There could be something here, potentially, you know?
08:35 Like, I'm really willing to work for that.
08:37 I think the most important thing for me is, like, going forward,
08:40 that we have, like, the same vision of the future. Mm.
08:44 You know? Making sure that the core values are pulled through
08:48 into, like, how we are gonna advance into, like, our married life.
08:53 Yeah.
08:55 I've got you. Yeah.
08:59 Despite lacking an initial romantic spark...
09:07 Nate, you make it stop right.
09:09 (BOTH LAUGH)
09:11 ..Maddie and Nate tried to laugh their way through it.
09:17 Try not to poke you.
09:19 (LAUGHS) Poke my where?
09:21 (BOTH LAUGH)
09:23 But laughter can only get you so far.
09:26 Being with Maddie, obviously she's a loud person.
09:29 Sometimes I feel like I'm a bit overshadowed, but she is who she is.
09:34 I generally do take the lead. Nate does get a little bit intimidated by the cameras.
09:39 Well done. Oh, yeah. Be vulnerable, you.
09:42 I am vulnerable. Mm-hm.
09:44 I told you, when I'm in a situation, I'm just like...
09:47 But in front of the cameras, not behind the cameras. Yeah.
09:49 So it's good to beā show that as well.
09:52 I'm not gonna ever stop you being in your flow...
09:58 or doing what makes you feel happy when you need to get into your rhythm to unwind,
10:02 but I feel like in the past 24 hours I've been on Nate's time, not our time.
10:06 Yeah. I'm just like, 'Why bother if he can't be bothered?'
10:12 Honestly, in the past couple of days of our ship, I've been really (BLEEP) struggling.
10:17 And, like, I'm not a quitter. I'll give it my all.
10:20 But I know that reciprocated.
10:22 For example, when last night we'd had a really long day... Yeah.
10:26 ..and it was 7 o'clock, we were both really hungry.
10:29 But when I came up and asked you just a simple question in a really sweet way,
10:34 like, non-aggressive way, being like, 'Hey, how are you going?
10:37 'When do you wanna go have dinner?'
10:39 When you couldn't give me the answer, I said, 'Oh, good,' and walked away.
10:42 You laughed.
10:44 And whether you intentionally laughed at me or you laughed at the situation
10:48 or you were just releasing and that's just who you are, it did not come across well.
10:52 And I walked downstairs and I was like, 'What the (BLEEP)?'
10:55 Maddie has got a big personality, so it's hard sometimes to be able to get a word in.
11:00 Even going to breakfast this morning, like, I tried to wake you up in a really calm way and a gentle way,
11:04 and you just had no awareness that there was someone else in this position with you.
11:09 And I had girls harping on about the fact that their man's, like,
11:12 plotting in their phone charger.
11:14 Maybe you haven't been on dates with someone like me before.
11:16 I'm happy with silent moments, but I'm also very aware of other people.
11:20 And perhaps that could just be the age thing.
11:22 It can be a bit overwhelming for me cos I don't wanna lose my voice.
11:25 Learn from each other, but a relationship goes both ways.
11:31 I feel like Maddie is just painting a picture of someone who I'm not.
11:34 That's definitely not the person I am.
11:37 Sometimes maybe my actions might come out differently.
11:41 It's cos I am struggling.
11:43 You're someone that wouldn't date in an open world.
11:46 You know, we've been put together and I'm like, you know, I'm struggling with it.
11:50 I'm being for real, like, I am struggling with it.
11:53 When we had the wedding party, you were just loud and all that.
11:56 Felt like you were just shortening me to the side.
11:59 You sort of weren't paying much attention to me.
12:02 The feeling's mutual. You don't pay much attention to me either.
12:05 I wasn't shortening to the side. You're just as loud.
12:08 You're doing your thing anyway. You'd rather go hang off with the boys.
12:12 And that's cool.
12:13 Like, what do you...
12:15 Is that what you think?
12:17 Oh, I need a moment.
12:20 I really can't do this right now.
12:22 [Music]
12:41 I need a moment.
12:43 I really can't f*** with this right now.
12:45 [Music]
12:59 How are you finding this process?
13:01 It's very hard.
13:02 Yeah.
13:03 It's the...
13:05 [Music]
13:10 It's like...
13:11 [Bleep]
13:12 [Music]
13:19 This is like the toughest thing I've ever done.
13:21 You know?
13:22 Yeah.
13:23 It's just quite tough.
13:26 Like, being in a relationship, you can't really, you know, talk.
13:31 Trying to communicate with her, she's just like, "Oh, we can't say this.
13:35 We have to say it on camera."
13:36 It's like, you know?
13:38 [Music]
13:41 Do you guys need to get to know each other when the camera's on or out?
13:44 I mean, we do try.
13:46 We do try.
13:47 First, we would try.
13:48 Then, there was a time, like, I started asking her questions about, like, you know,
13:52 her upbringing and all of that.
13:54 And she said, "Let's not talk about this now.
13:57 Just wait till we're on camera," you know?
13:59 So, it was like, after that, it just sort of, like, pushed me away.
14:02 I was like, "You know what?
14:04 I'm just going to leave you to her."
14:06 I don't want that.
14:08 Not at all.
14:09 [Music]
14:15 Our couples are waking to their second morning in Auckland.
14:19 After being left to their own devices yesterday as they settled in to married life.
14:25 There was a makeover for Pitape.
14:27 Should I say?
14:28 [Laughter]
14:30 A first date for CJ and Jessie.
14:33 And some baking from Cara.
14:35 Lolli Cake.
14:36 Hit it with the final touches.
14:38 Looking good.
14:40 Do you get high on urine supply?
14:42 That's why I have to double the mixture.
14:44 I'm eating it as I go.
14:46 It was really nice to have yesterday where we could sort of do our own thing.
14:50 We choose them?
14:51 Yeah.
14:52 I made him a lolli cake, which was cute.
14:55 It's really good, babe.
14:56 Like, so, so good.
14:57 You know, he does all this nice shit for me, and I haven't done a lot for him.
15:00 So, I was like, "Let's flip the switch."
15:03 It's obviously his love language, like acts of service, and it's not mine.
15:06 So, I've just got to, like, navigate being able to give him things that he needs, I guess.
15:11 I'm learning.
15:13 I'm going to get it all on my bed.
15:15 Speaking of the bed, we've had a trim up.
15:17 I did.
15:18 I took a good length of it.
15:20 And we're making moves in the right direction.
15:22 [Laughter]
15:23 I think what's really nice is Cara and I are, like, re-meeting each other in, like, more normal circumstances.
15:29 [Laughter]
15:30 We're both here trying really hard, and the benefits are really paying off,
15:34 because we're just feeling really comfortable together.
15:36 [Music]
15:41 The only thing I hear from couples is, like, "You just wait till day three, the honeymoon's over."
15:46 [Laughter]
15:47 And we're like, "Mm."
15:49 It's kind of a joke, though.
15:50 I know.
15:51 Like, "We'll get through it."
15:53 Yeah, we're good.
15:54 Yeah.
15:55 I mean, I think at the end of the day, we've had a slight disagreement.
15:57 I described it as just, like, a conversation.
15:59 It was such a small thing.
16:00 Like, we were at the tavern.
16:02 As we were going, I was like, "Oh, I can't wait to brush my teeth."
16:05 And I popped into the dairy to get a toothbrush.
16:07 She was just like, "What's going on?"
16:09 And I was like, "Nothing's going on."
16:10 She's like, "Is something really not going on?"
16:12 And I was like, "Something really isn't going on.
16:14 I truly want to brush my teeth."
16:15 [Laughter]
16:19 Like, you know when your teeth are furry?
16:21 I just had furry teeth, and I really wanted to go get a toothbrush and brush them.
16:24 [Laughter]
16:25 I'm quite stubborn, like, as you can probably tell.
16:27 I know.
16:28 And I think you are, too.
16:30 But it's like just figuring it out as we go, hey?
16:32 Yeah, exactly.
16:33 And being able to communicate.
16:35 I think maturity-wise, for some reason, I kind of expected to be paired with somebody a little bit older.
16:39 When he's upset, he does really feel, and he does really express, in a way.
16:46 Oh, you're a legend. Thank you.
16:47 I know, which I'm not used to.
16:49 Cheers.
16:50 [Laughter]
16:51 I do like him.
16:52 I'm just trying to get past that friend zone, in a way.
16:56 Yesterday, you really stepped up. I had the best day.
16:59 I loved scootering down Tamaki Drive, exploring Mission Bay, going to the beach.
17:03 Like, it was so much fun.
17:05 Yeah, just getting to, like, more of an intimacy level, possibly. Yeah.
17:10 [Music]
17:12 Loving the haircut.
17:14 Thank you.
17:15 Feeling a little bit cooler?
17:16 Feeling a lot cooler.
17:17 Yeah.
17:18 A lot less frizzy.
17:19 We're OK.
17:20 It's been a tough journey.
17:22 Probably should have done it before I went to Vanuatu, though.
17:24 Yeah.
17:25 Cooler.
17:26 [Laughter]
17:27 She's mentioned before it takes a while for her to, like, bring her walls down,
17:30 so I just have to try and make her feel comfortable enough to kind of just, you know, bring it down just a touch, I think.
17:37 [Laughter]
17:39 No, I'm glad I saw the curls.
17:42 I feel like he really took on board some of the things I said, just about actually showing me that he is here for the right reasons,
17:49 and he knows the seriousness of, like, a marriage.
17:53 Cheers.
17:54 In this experiment, I wouldn't want to be doing it with anyone else.
17:57 It's just whether I want to be doing life with him is what I'm still trying to figure out.
18:00 Yeah.
18:02 Yesterday, Sam was reunited with her 5-year-old son after nearly a week away.
18:09 I had a really emotional afternoon yesterday.
18:12 When I mentioned I was really missing my son, James, he was just, like, so supportive.
18:16 He's like, "Absolutely, go do it. Take as long as you need."
18:19 And it was just really nice, like, having his support.
18:25 I love being a mom. It's literally my entire world, you know?
18:30 It's really hard not being there.
18:34 You kind of get into, like, a bit of a bubble in this experiment, and then you kind of go back to the outside world,
18:39 and it's kind of almost like a big, overwhelming, like, "Oh."
18:47 Sorry.
18:52 So it was really nice getting that yesterday, but, yeah, just kind of leaving and seeing Caitlin upset was really hard.
19:02 It was quite tough seeing her upset when she got back.
19:05 It was the first time I'd seen her that emotional.
19:10 I just tried to comfort her as much as I can and make sure that she just eased back into it.
19:18 The way that he was there for me and supporting me, I think I'm just seeing more and more of his character every day,
19:24 and it's just so attractive and so comforting.
19:29 Meeting someone like Sam, who's like a package deal, like, obviously priorities would be shifted towards her and her son,
19:36 all the pressure just comes on because this would be the biggest thing I've done in life.
19:45 As Sam and James draw closer, the distance between Maddie and Nate has widened.
19:51 I need a moment.
19:53 I really can't f*** with this right now.
19:56 And after Maddie walked out during an argument, they made the choice to live in separate apartments.
20:02 Have I missed Nate? Not in a romantic sense, no. No.
20:07 It's been really good for me to have that space because it's given me a lot of clarity.
20:12 The thing that triggered me the other night with Nate was that comment he made where I wasn't paying him attention at the dinner table
20:18 when we were at Jessie and Cara's wedding.
20:20 I was just like, "Are you kidding?"
20:23 I would pay my man all the attention in the world if I had been receiving that myself.
20:33 I've had a cry. I was really sad. I am still sad that it just hasn't worked how I sort of hoped it would, really.
20:47 I am really keen to understand why there's this match.
20:51 I understand there's a bigger picture reason here.
20:54 And I want to understand that. So that's why I'm still standing here today.
21:00 But if I don't get the clarity I need today, then there's no point being here.
21:20 Oh, do you want me to get that? Yeah, who's that? I don't know.
21:27 Oh, we have a card. We have a card!
21:33 This worries me more than our wedding day worries me.
21:37 Who do you think it is? I don't know. Last time it was a wedding.
21:41 Oh my God, I know Chad.
21:44 I can't believe it! Welcome to Confessions Week. Oh, Chad.
21:50 Confessions Week is a very crucial part of this experiment because essentially it's getting our couples to be vulnerable with one another.
21:58 Are you ready for that? Yeah, sure. Yeah? Yeah.
22:02 It allows them to expose some secrets about the past and also show them in a light which is raw.
22:09 Oh God, that's going to be cringe.
22:11 This then creates a greater bond. It's forcing us to go deep, babe.
22:15 Yeah. You know, things that we don't do. Sometimes I need to be forced. Yeah.
22:20 To kickstart those confessions, our experts have set a variety of tasks for the couples.
22:27 We've got to write a letter. About what?
22:31 The most difficult dating experience in your life to date.
22:39 I've got better at talking about the kind of things that have happened in the past, but I wouldn't say it's my number one thing to do.
22:47 I'm feeling a bit nervous about it. It's been like five days and you're trying to put your best foot forward.
22:54 I don't want to scare her off with anything, but it's also important for her to understand what lies beneath.
23:05 James and Sam write their confession letters.
23:09 Mike and Kara have been trying to get their relationship back on track since Kara confessed feeling lost in Mike's big energy and questioned his motives.
23:20 I am concerned about the reasons that you're here.
23:24 I've created a couple of supplements. Do you?
23:27 I can see that there could be a motivation to want people to know about the brand and the product.
23:34 The experts have asked the couple to watch their audition tapes together.
23:38 Anything that we need to confess before the video comes on?
23:42 Babe, I feel like I did it so long ago, I'm going to be reliving it myself. I have no idea what I've said, but...
23:48 Me too.
23:49 I am who I am wherever I go, so I don't worry about what I say because what I've said is what I would always say.
23:56 Oh, Jesus.
23:58 Kara, she's a little bit unsure, but she's like that anyway. But no, I'm really looking forward to seeing it.
24:03 It'll give me a really good idea of what Kara said versus how I've met and know of her, and she can do the same for me.
24:11 Ultimately, you'd love to meet someone. Someone who looks after themselves in all four quadrants, right?
24:16 In the physical, the emotional, the spiritual, and the energetic.
24:19 Someone who understands how to feel their emotions, how to feel it, how to communicate it.
24:24 Really, really, really obsessed on grammar. I don't ask for much, but if you can spell two, two, and two, then it's a really good start.
24:33 The pattern that I've seen within the last few smaller relationships that I've been in, the woman, very quickly, they lose themselves within me.
24:43 And so when there's patterns involved in my life, I'm like, "Oh, yeah, cool. I've got to look at that within myself," you know?
24:49 I don't want to say I have commitment issues, but I have a really good tendency to want to run when I catch feels.
24:59 It hasn't done well for me in the past, as you can tell.
25:03 There definitely has to be an attraction there. Someone who lives their own life, but wants to serve the relationship first, and then utilizes the relationship for growth.
25:13 I just feel really ready to find someone, you know, someone that can add to my life, but, like, at the same time, give me the space that I need so that I don't feel overwhelmed.
25:24 Well, sounds about right. Yeah.
25:30 It's a very me interview, isn't it? Yeah.
25:34 I can see how everything's unfolded the way it has, and I'm just like, I get it. I so get it.
25:41 We've been dropped into this experiment together, and we're here together 24 hours a freaking day. Do you know what I mean?
25:48 And I did get overwhelmed by it.
25:51 I got lost in the main character energy, but at the same time, I didn't tell him that that's how I was feeling, and then it blew up.
25:57 So that's all on me. I take full responsibility for that, you know? I am the problem.
26:02 This is where, when you communicated that, it allowed me to be like, "OK, what change do I have to do in myself?"
26:09 I'm quite an intense character. I've said that many times. I jumped straight into it, and it might have smothered Cara a little bit.
26:16 I'm really learning to just meet Cara at her level, and it's a really good give and take.
26:22 We'll get there. We're in the deep end. We are. I'm just learning how to swim.
26:27 Our most recent newlyweds, CJ and Jessie, are also looking at each other's audition tapes.
26:37 I can't even remember the... My voice just broke.
26:41 (BOTH LAUGH)
26:42 My impression of Jessie right now is that he's a really genuine down-to-earth bloke.
26:46 (BOTH LAUGH)
26:47 So I'm really hoping that his audition tapes match up to that and actually seeing if we are aligned.
26:53 OK. Oh, God. I'm a very open book. Maybe to the normal person, I'm maybe an over-sharer,
26:58 but I don't know. I reckon, like, I have boundaries. Like, we've all got our secrets, you know?
27:04 (BOTH LAUGH)
27:05 You know.
27:06 What the hell is that?
27:08 My mum, she's been wanting me to find somebody for quite a while now.
27:14 When I was 18, I moved in with my first boyfriend. She's like, 'This is where the cot will go.'
27:18 I'm like, 'Well, it's been a while since then, hasn't it?'
27:20 (LAUGHS)
27:21 I got a girlfriend when I was, like, maybe 25, and then I broke up with her in November last year.
27:28 We had some communication issues. We didn't address things or talk properly.
27:33 Communication is a real big one.
27:36 I'd rather somebody just be completely honest with me and just be straight up.
27:40 We have the discussion, and then we move on from it instead of hiding and closing down.
27:44 I think that's been a real problem in the past.
27:48 I wanna look to settle down and have kids, so I wanna make sure that the next girl is the right one.
27:55 I'm 31 now. I've got my life together. I feel like I'm quite independent,
27:59 but it's now time to find somebody that I actually wanna share my life with.
28:04 Just to go get it, you know? And ideally, nice ass and big boobs.
28:09 (BOTH LAUGH) Oh, my God!
28:12 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. So funny.
28:15 Hey, you know what? At the end of the day, if that's what he's looking for, then that's what he's looking for.
28:20 When you look at that and then you look at me, for example, do you think that's kind of, like, why they paired us?
28:25 Yeah. I mean, there's so many similarities. It's crazy.
28:28 Yeah. Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
28:30 Looking back at my audition tape, I've put everything out on the line.
28:34 I want children in the future. I wanna settle down. Like I said, I'm not getting any younger. I'm 31.
28:38 And, like, we're at that stage in life now where, like, we don't wanna muck around.
28:42 I mean, we've only been with each other for a couple of days.
28:45 Knowing that he knows that now and he has seen that side of me, it just makes me really happy.
28:50 I mean, I'll be honest. I think I had my doubts at the start with you being a little bit younger and everything,
28:55 but I think it's important to be in a real relationship.
28:59 Hearing you on there has reassured me a bit.
29:03 Oh, that's good.
29:04 But he did say that his last relationship ended up in a communication breakdown.
29:09 That's a little bit concerning to me.
29:11 I've been in relationships before where the communication wasn't great either.
29:15 I think moving forward, we'll just have to kinda wait and see what happens.
29:19 Hopefully we can actually make this work.
29:22 (GENTLE MUSIC)
29:24 (GENTLE MUSIC)
29:28 It's Confessions Week, and Steph and Pitipi have been set different tasks.
29:37 While Pitipi must...
29:38 Write a confession letter to your partner.
29:41 This letter should be an honest and open account of the most difficult dating experience in your life to date.
29:47 Are you ready for that?
29:49 Yeah, sure. Yeah? Yeah.
29:51 Steph will be sharing her aspirations coming into the experiment via her audition tape.
29:57 I'm excited. Yeah, same.
29:59 Confessions Week is important because it does force each person to get a bit more vulnerable.
30:06 They're gonna be able to go deeper, quicker than they were
30:09 if they were just having these conversations on the surface level.
30:13 Right, shall we hit it? Yeah, let's go.
30:16 I'm a little bit, like, not convinced that we've got the same, like, long-term plans.
30:21 If we do share a life together outside of this, like, these are all things that we will need to discuss.
30:27 I have been single for about eight years now.
30:31 I'm looking for, like, somebody that's athletic and, like, tall, engaging and intelligent,
30:36 and we can have, like, a good conversation.
30:39 I don't find many guys that I can connect with on that intellectual level and, like, that emotional level as well.
30:47 I like somebody that is able to have those harder conversations.
30:51 There's no depth.
30:53 I just get bored easily. (LAUGHS)
30:56 Yeah, I flinch a little bit because I'm not too confident with myself intellectually.
31:03 You know, I feel like I'm just a normal dude.
31:06 I like to have little babies ā marriage, babies, the house.
31:10 Yeah, like, just, like, happiness and, like, somebody that's, like, your best friend.
31:14 Definitely somebody that, like, values their family, however that looks, you know,
31:18 and hopefully that would be myself and the kids, you know.
31:23 (GENTLE MUSIC)
31:25 Thoughts?
31:28 It's a high bar, and she deserves a high bar.
31:32 I am so keen to, like, have a family and build a future in the near future,
31:37 and I feel like that's where we're not aligning.
31:41 Last night, he said, 'How many kids do I want?' and I said, 'Probably, like, three.'
31:47 And then I think I said, 'When do you see yourself having more children?'
31:52 He said, like, 'Mid-30s,' and he's 28 now.
31:56 I just think, like, if you don't plan to have children for seven years,
31:58 then, like, what's the rush of getting married now?
32:02 Look, you could always, you know, find a partner and find a marriage.
32:05 You don't have to have kids straight away.
32:07 And you think that would work, though, having, like, more kids later
32:10 and while you're still balancing the kids you've got?
32:14 (SIGHS)
32:16 Like, I would want to.
32:18 I'm not coming from a place of, like, trying to attack you or anything.
32:21 Yeah.
32:22 Like, my dad walked out when I was 11 and never came back.
32:27 And I just think... (SCOFFS)
32:31 It's really important to me to ensure that the family that I create is gonna be a present one.
32:38 Mm.
32:39 I just would want to be, like, 100% confident that you will be there.
32:44 Ideally, like, I just want everything to work out, of course.
32:47 But you could be, like, realistic as well. Yeah.
32:49 You know, like, you can't do bed and bath at two different houses.
32:53 I really wanna try and make this work.
32:56 Reason why I say late 30s is to give myself more time to, you know,
33:00 make sure my kids are OK and stuff like that.
33:03 I know that's what you want, but it's kinda like,
33:05 do you know how at 35 you're gonna be confident and stable enough
33:08 to bring more kids into the future?
33:10 That maybe we could, like, find a middle ground. Mm.
33:17 Because you've accomplished so much, I find things hard to talk to you about sometimes.
33:21 It's just, yeah, I...
33:23 I just have a bad opinion about stuff, you know, so...
33:26 Yeah. (SIGHS) It's OK. It's OK.
33:28 So I just don't talk about myself a lot.
33:31 I do wanna give my family the best life they deserve. Of course you do.
33:38 I'm enrolled in university, and I start next year.
33:41 And I was planning just to get a degree,
33:43 so then I can finally, yeah, like, move to that next step in, you know, my life.
33:47 OK. You didn't tell me that you're enrolled in university.
33:50 Not many people know it's something I've kept to myself.
33:54 I am trying.
33:57 I know I can be a good partner, and I know I can, you know, be relied on and stuff like that,
34:01 but showing it to her is just gonna be a real...
34:03 Cos she's just been through a lot. It's just gonna be tough.
34:06 I feel like we lack depth sometimes,
34:09 but I feel like we covered a lot of it, even just right here on this couch of healing.
34:15 (BOTH LAUGH)
34:16 It's pretty good, actually. (LAUGHS)
34:19 Yeah, I appreciate that you opened up.
34:21 I think that's the kind of depth that I was asking the experts for.
34:26 But outside of this experiment, do we have the same future?
34:31 I'm not sure that we do.
34:34 (GENTLE MUSIC)
34:36 James and Sam's task from the experts is to write letters to each other about past relationships.
34:46 'Dear James,
34:48 'a big hiccup from my previous relationship was jealousy towards my son's dad.
34:54 'I know coming into a relationship where a partner is always in contact with their ex isn't easy,
34:59 'but in my case it's an important necessity.
35:02 'I like the saying, "Carolyn's dad and I aren't exes, but we're Carolyn's parents,"
35:07 'which is all it will ever be.
35:09 'I hope that you can be secure in yourself and help me through all that comes with co-parenting.'
35:16 That's nice.
35:18 Like, I'll be completely honest. Like, I have been jealous in the past.
35:24 But I completely see your point of view there.
35:28 No, I wouldn't get in the way of that at all. I'd just be fully supportive.
35:34 You are so, like, understanding of everything so far,
35:40 which has made this process for me so much easier.
35:44 Just communicate if you're feeling any type of way towards anything.
35:48 You know, if you're feeling uncomfortable about something, tell me so we can talk about it,
35:52 because I don't want you to feel like that.
35:55 It is about trust, and I think a huge amount of it is about communication.
35:58 Good job.
36:00 Teamwork. Teamwork.
36:02 I mean, at the moment we're on the same page.
36:04 I appreciate it. Thank you.
36:07 And it's something that, if it develops more seriously in the future,
36:12 then it's going to be something that you'll continuously talk about.
36:16 All right. All right, I'll read you mine.
36:19 I think the biggest fear for me coming into this process was rejection.
36:24 I don't want to scare off with anything.
36:27 "Dear wifey, I want to open up to you about my dating in general.
36:33 "I've been known as the guy with the stories, and honestly I hate talking about them.
36:38 "A lot of my friends are all loved up, and that's exactly what I want.
36:42 "But the journey to finding that has been hard.
36:45 "I've been rejected a lot throughout my life.
36:49 "Whether that is for the way I look, for example, like my nose or my teeth.
36:53 "And these continuous comments dented my self-esteem and the way I view myself.
36:59 "I hated looking at myself in the mirror to the point where I would close my eyes when brushing my teeth.
37:05 "Another difficult comment was that I got told that I'm a project
37:12 "due to going to counselling and therapy.
37:16 "And this really hit hard and made me feel not worthy enough for anyone.
37:19 "I sit here in front of you as a man who is committed to seeing where this goes with you.
37:27 "I still have low self-esteem on days, and sometimes question if I am good enough.
37:32 "But I can deal with these through strategies I've been given.
37:36 "You're an amazing and beautiful person inside and out.
37:40 "I'm happy with you, and the way we communicate is amazing.
37:43 "So, thank you for being you."
37:45 [Crying]
37:47 [Music]
37:50 "Thank you for opening up to me.
37:59 "I never want to make you feel like that."
38:03 "Sometimes it's just like I'm not good at communicating enough, so...
38:14 "I don't know if I feel like shit, I tell you."
38:16 "That was horrible to hear.
38:20 "He's like the sweetest person I've ever met, and then the fact that, you know,
38:24 "people can be so horrible is like...
38:27 "Oh...
38:29 "You know, I hope that I can help him see all the amazing qualities that he has.
38:36 "Because no one should have to feel like that."
38:41 [Kiss]
38:42 "Oh!"
38:43 "Sam does make me feel special.
38:46 "I've wanted someone who's emotionally available, and she's certainly sharing that, and...
38:52 "Yeah, no, I respect her a lot.
38:55 "She's a beautiful human being."
38:58 [Music]
39:00 "I'm feeling nervous."
39:09 "I think I've had a hard time telling Steph a lot of stuff over the time we've spent together.
39:15 "Maybe I just realised I had a bit more trust issues than I thought."
39:19 "Hi. How are you?"
39:21 "Good."
39:22 "I wanted her to feel like she can trust me and rely on me, and, you know,
39:25 "she can open up her soft side to me and stuff like that.
39:28 "So I think this opening up is probably the best approach now."
39:31 "Steph."
39:33 "Yes?"
39:34 "My actions as a young man are ones I don't hold fondly,
39:37 "as it hurt the ones I cared for, and even affected my mental health.
39:43 "I can't take back what I've done. It will always haunt me.
39:48 "But I am no longer that person that I couldn't even look at.
39:53 "And through our time together, I hope you will grow to trust me
39:58 "and know that I'm not that person anymore."
40:00 "I cheated.
40:05 "And she was my first love."
40:10 "It's a tough one, because I have been cheated on."
40:16 "I was just, yeah, in a very...
40:20 "destructive era in my life."
40:23 "I sought mental health help."
40:27 "Did you find any, like, underlying reasons why you were cheating?"
40:34 "I felt... Yeah, I just felt nice to be wanted.
40:39 "I don't think I felt very wanted when I was younger, and...
40:44 "I don't know. I don't know."
40:49 "I was just trying to be someone else who I wasn't."
40:53 "I did have a bit of a rough childhood.
40:58 "I'm not blaming my childhood on my actions, but Mum was busy a lot,
41:02 "and my stepdad wasn't very nice to us either."
41:06 "And I always felt different from my brothers,
41:09 "so I spent a lot of time by myself growing up."
41:13 "Me and my dad aren't very similar either."
41:17 (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
41:19 (SIGHS)
41:25 "Sorry." "It's OK."
41:29 "But, yeah, no, I love my dad, and we're just, yeah, very different people."
41:46 "I was really proud of him today.
41:48 "He's obviously pushed himself to be here, and, like, he is growing.
41:52 "Yeah, I appreciate that he opened up and felt comfortable."
41:55 "I wanted to connect with you more and let you know who I am.
42:00 "The person I once was is not the person I am today.
42:03 "I said to myself, 'Before starting this, I'll give it my best shot.
42:06 "'I won't give up, because relationships are hard, you know?
42:09 "'Gotta be there for the good times and bad times.'
42:11 "We've had our good times, and we've had our bad times.
42:13 "Just gotta stick it through and see where it gets us."
42:16 "You're honestly doing great. I'm really proud of you."
42:19 (BOTH LAUGH)
42:21 For Nate and Maddie, their journey started with laughter.
42:33 (BOTH LAUGH)
42:35 But there was an early disconnect.
42:39 He's not usually the type of guy I would go for.
42:42 It's still a little bit of awkwardness, you know?
42:45 But I think we're slowly breaking the ice.
42:47 Looking forward to the rest of the day, you know?
42:50 Yeah. Yeah. See what it brings.
42:52 See what it brings.
42:53 Leading to conflict.
42:55 Oh, yeah. Be vulnerable, you.
42:57 I've always been. Trust me, I am vulnerable.
42:59 And a widening gap in their relationship.
43:02 I really can't (BLEEP) with this right now.
43:04 Having moved out of their apartment after an argument,
43:09 Maddie's been called to an intervention with Nate
43:12 and experts John and Jo.
43:14 Having the space has been really beneficial
43:18 cos I've been able to centre myself back into who I am.
43:21 If you look at everything as a negative
43:24 and always, like, let down by something that's happened,
43:27 shit, you're always going to block any good coming.
43:30 I'm totally going into this with an open mind and open heart.
43:35 I'm just hoping that she does give me space
43:38 to say my own opinion and just doesn't cut me off.
43:41 So we've been brought in basically to find out what's going on
43:46 and then from there try and get a sense of what's next.
43:50 For Maddie and Nate, they are now gridlocked.
43:54 They're not able to talk through an issue.
43:56 So Jo and I are going to come in
43:58 and give them a different way of looking at the issue
44:00 so they can actually take the pressure off and have more fun.
44:04 You know that you went away on your honeymoons
44:07 and you're currently living apart.
44:10 Why don't you tell us a little bit about your take on it, Maddie?
44:13 What's your sense of what's not working right now?
44:16 Vanuatu was beautiful.
44:22 We had so much fun.
44:23 We went on some really awesome adventures,
44:25 some pretty amazing dates.
44:27 Once we got back, we obviously had a conversation
44:30 which turned into a bit of an argument.
44:32 Whilst getting up and walking away was not the right action
44:35 in that moment of time, I could not handle
44:37 and I needed to go and get some space.
44:40 What was it that you argued about that created that escalation?
44:44 What happened leading up to there was
44:47 we celebrated Jessie and Kara's wedding.
44:50 We had come back and it was 7 o'clock at night.
44:53 I went upstairs and I asked him,
44:55 "Do you want to go for dinner? How far away are you?"
44:57 But then when I couldn't get an answer,
44:59 I kind of just walked away and then I heard a laugh.
45:02 There was maybe no ill intent with that laugh, but I heard it
45:05 and I just felt there was no awareness for anyone else in that moment.
45:08 That following morning, sitting at the breakfast table,
45:13 I said, "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
45:15 And abruptly, he shut me down by saying,
45:19 "Can I just eat my food?"
45:21 It's hard to fight for someone in something
45:27 when they don't really want to fight for you either.
45:30 And that's how I felt.
45:32 Nate, can I ask what's coming up for you as you're hearing the story?
45:37 I mean, yeah, I see where she's coming from.
45:40 That was not my intention. I wasn't trying to speak to you in a rude way
45:44 because that's just not who I am.
45:46 And obviously it came out like that, you know?
45:48 But there have been times whereby I have tried getting to know her
45:54 and it's just not worked outside because she wants us to talk on the camera.
46:00 Like me getting to know her while we're getting filmed.
46:03 So you've tried to get to know her when the cameras are off?
46:07 Yeah, yeah.
46:08 But she's saying...
46:10 Save it for later.
46:12 Stop.
46:13 Yeah, yeah.
46:14 How would you answer that?
46:19 I was really mindful to make sure that he was being able to be who he was.
46:27 Every day I was like, just be real, be yourself, show them your vulnerability.
46:31 Because that's going to help someone else out there to see that,
46:35 especially from a man, you know?
46:37 What do you mean?
46:39 Like, to show his feelings, to open himself up, to cry,
46:44 to be able to be him, you know?
46:46 And not fear of who's looking or who's judging.
46:55 Is that something that you think about?
46:57 With other people?
46:58 Yeah, who's watching, who's looking?
47:00 Well, I'm thinking more so from the public who are going to review this.
47:04 I don't want to be thinking about that, Maddie, at all.
47:06 Yeah, but it's like...
47:07 It's not something that comes into this.
47:08 Can I come in here?
47:09 I'm someone that's always been vulnerable and I've always been open.
47:13 It's just who I am, so it's always going to be like that.
47:16 Yeah, but I didn't feel that you were holding back a little bit.
47:19 I wasn't.
47:23 It is what it is. We've got to where we are now.
47:25 And I just don't really know how to go forward from here.
47:30 Next time...
47:38 Hello!
47:40 It's the first dinner party.
47:43 Our first dinner party!
47:44 Cheers, mate!
47:45 Cheers, cheers, cheers!
47:46 And things are getting a little too honest.
47:49 Using sex toys like I'm all for them.
47:51 Don't deviate! Just answer that question!
47:53 But for some, the truth hurts.
47:58 Proud of you, man. It's an honest answer.
48:00 And results in a bombshell revelation.
48:03 We have something to share with you all.
48:05 I tried. I tried really hard.
48:08 And pushes others...
48:10 I don't think he actually realises what this is.
48:13 To the brink...
48:14 Stop belittling me.
48:15 I'm not belittling you.
48:16 Are you loopy?
48:18 Am I loopy?
48:19 I think you are.
48:20 I think you are.
48:21 [BLANK_AUDIO]