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Short filmTranscript
00:00The following footage is from our vault of classics, taken ten years after its release.
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01:40♪♪
01:47Josh!
01:48Yeah.
01:50Are you crazy or something?
01:52Harry, you're on the wagon.
01:54Me? Who says?
01:56I do.
01:57Now, look, I've known you for a long time.
01:59Don't give me any trouble.
02:00I like you. You're a nice fella.
02:01But it's got to be done.
02:02Why?
02:03Because I'm getting paid for it.
02:05That's the way it is.
02:07Harry, you...
02:09just had your last drink.
02:16I got a better idea, Josh.
02:18Yeah, what's that?
02:19Kill me.
02:23Kill me.
02:27♪♪
02:34♪♪
02:44♪♪
02:57♪♪
03:07♪♪
03:17♪♪
03:22Uh-uh.
03:24Just one?
03:25Uh-uh.
03:26Well, what will my old friends think?
03:28You'll get new friends.
03:29Let's go.
03:30♪♪
03:39Is she the one that hired you?
03:41I might've known.
03:42Now, look, you could have me running around here
03:43like a chicken with its head cut off.
03:44Now, come on.
03:45But you don't know what you're doing.
03:46It'll only take a second.
03:47She wants to talk to you.
03:48That woman's only got one thing
03:49on a female conniving mind.
03:50Come on, Harry.
03:51Not every former had to pick on me.
03:52I'm not the only eligible drunk in town.
03:54Now, come on.
03:55Can I have one drink?
04:02Hello, Harry.
04:03The answer is still no.
04:04I'm not gonna marry you.
04:05Uh-uh.
04:06Benedict Arnold.
04:08I've been worried about you, Harry.
04:10You've been missing six days.
04:12I haven't been missing anything.
04:13And if it wasn't for my...
04:14my ex-friend over here...
04:16This telegram arrived for you the morning you left.
04:19It's why I hired Mr. Randall to bring you back.
04:22It's from your brother, Alfred.
04:24Tear it up.
04:25Burn it.
04:26I don't care what you do with it.
04:27But he's your only kin, your own brother.
04:29And you haven't seen or heard from him in 15 years.
04:32I could wait another 15 years.
04:34He'll be here on next week's stage from St. Louis.
04:40What?
04:42He's coming to visit you.
04:43Not me.
04:44Blood's thicker than water, Harry.
04:46And so is whiskey.
04:47When the stage arrives in Carson City,
04:49he'll get the telegram I sent.
04:51You sent?
04:52In your name, Harry.
04:54Saying you were looking forward to his arrival.
04:56Oh, no.
04:57But I thought it the right thing to do.
05:00So you see, Harry,
05:02it's time for a change.
05:04The new Harry Simmons.
05:06The very latest from Chicago.
05:08Now wait.
05:10Well, you wouldn't want your brother
05:12to find you in this condition.
05:14He's not going to find me in any condition.
05:16That blue-nosed, stuffed-shirt,
05:18sanctimonious teetotaler.
05:23Oh, no.
05:24Aw, Josh, please.
05:26Great suit, Harry.
05:27And this is the new Harry Simmons.
05:29The very latest from Chicago.
05:31Now wait.
05:32Aw, Josh, please.
05:33Great suit, Harry.
05:34And that's not all.
05:35I'm giving you your old job
05:37back here in the store
05:38starting tomorrow morning.
05:39No.
05:40You're going to be a real gentleman, Harry.
05:42I don't want to be a real gentleman.
05:44The most respectable man in Clarksville.
05:46No.
05:47A new man from top to bottom.
05:50No.
06:02Next, Harry.
06:32No.
06:49It works, Charlie.
06:51Now look, Harry,
06:52I gotta go over to the hotel and check out.
06:54I'll be right back, yeah?
06:56You leaving town?
06:57No, coming out and moving in with you.
06:59And, uh, Harry,
07:01don't you go running off on me now, huh?
07:03Oh, you know I wouldn't try anything.
07:06Yeah.
07:07I don't think so.
07:09Unless you plan on pulling that barber chair off with you.
07:12Take good care of my friend now, yeah?
07:31♪
08:01That woman's been here.
08:03Yeah, seems that way, don't it?
08:07She's ruined it.
08:08First me and then the house.
08:12Is it anything sacred?
08:14Well, your brother's gonna be impressed.
08:16I don't want to impress him.
08:17I don't even want to see him.
08:19He didn't approve of me 15 years ago.
08:21He don't have to approve now.
08:23I was willing not to do it.
08:25I was willing not to do it.
08:27I was willing not to do it.
08:29Now, I was willing not to let bygones be bygones.
08:33Now that woman goes and spoils everything.
08:35Oh, I don't know, Harry.
08:36Seems to me she's trying to help you out.
08:38Help?
08:39You think she's doing it for my brother's sake?
08:41She's setting up a trap for me to marry her.
08:44You got a mind of your own.
08:45Not when I'm sober.
08:48Yeah, well, from what I understand,
08:50marriage isn't too bad.
08:53You're a respectable bachelor talking like that.
08:57I'm ashamed of you.
08:58Yeah.
09:00There's some stew here. You want some?
09:02I want a drink.
09:03Here.
09:09I'm sure you don't want some of this stew.
09:12I'll cook him.
09:13I'd rather starve first.
09:14Well, suit yourself.
09:28Wow.
09:30All right, I'll start starving tomorrow.
10:28Drop this, Harry.
10:30Yeah.
10:32I guess I was walking in my sleep.
10:35Good night, Harry.
10:37Good night.
10:58Good night.
11:22You better get some of this coffee inside of you, Harry.
11:25Come on, you're going to be late for work.
11:27Hey, Josh.
11:28Yeah, what's the matter?
11:30Matter?
11:32Did you hear that?
11:33What?
11:34Josh, it's just terrible hearing the chest.
11:38That don't sound too bad to me.
11:39Oh, it's awful.
11:41I know a man who died from the same thing.
11:44And he was stronger and younger than me.
11:46And a lot taller, too.
11:48I got a mustard plaster in my pack.
11:49Let's get it.
11:50Oh, no, no, no, no.
11:51Right now.
11:52It's the worst thing in the world for a chest like this.
11:57I'll just lay here and try to last while you get Doc Williams.
12:04Well, even an ex-friend wouldn't just stand there and let a man die.
12:08All right, Harry, you win.
12:13We'll ride in and see Dr. Williams.
12:16I just hope we make it in time.
12:18Yeah, I do, too.
12:19Stay on.
12:22I understand your brother will be here next week.
12:26What did you say?
12:28I said I was sick enough.
12:30Oh.
12:33On again.
12:37Look, the cough is way down deep here in my chest where you can't see it.
12:44It's awful.
12:45You can't see it.
12:49If you don't give me something for the cough, I'll hack myself to death.
12:54Now, let's see.
12:55What can we give you?
12:57How about that special medicine of yours, Doc?
12:59You know, the one with the special painkiller in it?
13:02Remember you gave it to me last winter?
13:04I remember all right.
13:06It was just what the doctor ordered.
13:07Cured me just like that.
13:09Oh, it was a bigger bottle than that, Doc.
13:13You can come in any time for a refill.
13:16Well, you're the doctor.
13:19Guess I'd better have a swig.
13:21I mean, here's to you.
13:27There's nothing in that medicine but medicine.
13:29Yeah, but it sure cured your cough and a hurt, didn't it?
13:31Just like that.
13:32What kind of a doctor are you?
13:33Stuff like this can make a man sick.
13:35And I want to thank you very much for going to all this trouble.
13:40Hey, you put down that rifle, Harry, right now.
13:44Give me that rifle, Harry.
13:45Don't you hurry me.
13:46I've taken all I can take.
13:48Now, I'm so shaky now, I might pull this trigger.
13:50Now, look.
13:51He just might.
13:54He might?
13:55He might.
13:56He might.
13:58He might.
13:59He might.
14:00He might.
14:01He might.
14:02He might.
14:03He might.
14:04He might.
14:05Go on.
14:06Get in the closet.
14:08Now, be careful.
14:09Get in the closet.
14:10You two, doc.
14:11All right.
14:12Take it easy, Harry.
14:34Come on.
14:58You stay right here.
15:00This is the way I'm going to go to get shot by a drunk this year.
15:04Come on.
15:28Mr. Randall.
15:34Mr. Randall, where's Harry?
15:36He got away from me.
15:37And I'll tell you the truth, man.
15:38The way I feel right now, I just as soon let this down.
15:41I know.
15:43I know.
15:45Mr. Randall, you might try Smith's Landing.
15:48Yeah?
15:49Well, what?
15:50The biggest saloon in the county.
15:52That ought to be good.
15:53That ought to really be good.
15:55Come on.
16:04Come on.
16:34Come on.
16:55The first is from my brother, Little Alfred,
17:00who asked for it.
17:01The second was for that woman,
17:05thought she could trap Harry Simmons.
17:10And this one is for Josh Randall,
17:14my next friend,
17:16who can go to...
17:18That's it, Harry.
17:21I'm awful sorry, you Josh.
17:24Okay, Harry.
17:25Come on.
17:26Let's go home right now.
17:27Them's fine words.
17:29Come on.
17:31Put up your zoos.
17:32Now, come on, Harry.
17:34I want you to get out there and get on your horse
17:35and you and I'll ride on home, huh?
17:38All right?
17:39Now, come on, Harry.
17:40Let's start.
17:45All right.
17:47You asked for it.
17:49Now, look, Harry.
17:50You could just wait one second, Harry.
17:55Now, look, Harry.
17:56Take it.
17:57Now, Smith.
17:58You want to fight like that?
18:01Harry!
18:03Now, look, Harry.
18:04Just...
18:11Enough.
18:15Now, look, Harry.
18:17We're gonna go home right now.
18:28Yeah, Harry.
18:30I believe I had enough.
18:36Oh.
18:38I'm sick.
18:40Whoa.
18:42Yeah, I imagine so.
18:44Awful sick.
18:47Last night in the saloon,
18:48why didn't you beat my brains out?
18:52Well, I'll tell you the truth, Harry.
18:53Besides the money I'm getting paid for this job out there,
18:55I'd kind of like to help you if I could.
18:57Yeah.
18:59You want to help, Josh.
19:02You have a real friend.
19:05And Emily, she wants to help, too.
19:09Both of you.
19:11You're real friends.
19:14I've been so wrong.
19:19Oh.
19:21I'll never tell you.
19:23I'll never touch another drop
19:26if I live.
19:30Josh.
19:32You better send for the preacher.
19:35And Emily, too.
19:37Tell her to bring the marriage license.
19:41Oh.
19:43Please.
19:45Oh.
19:46Oh.
19:53Oh.
20:05The stage is coming!
20:10The stage is coming!
20:12The stage is coming!
20:15The stage is coming!
20:20The stage is coming!
20:23The stage is coming!
20:29Oh, Harry, I'm so excited.
20:30I don't quite know what to do.
20:31Oh, calm yourself, dear.
20:33I wouldn't want my brother to get the impression
20:35that I was married to a flighty woman.
20:38Now, would I?
20:39No, dear.
20:40Oh, and please arrange your hair.
20:46All right.
20:47Yes, dear.
20:48Now, shall we greet Alfred?
20:49Oh.
20:50My coat.
21:19Move!
21:28Move!
21:39What sort of a stage line are you running?
21:41I was expecting my brother Alfred.
21:42I demand to know what happened.
21:49Alfred.
21:56Harry, as I live and breathe.
22:13Oh, Harry's a jolly good fellow.
22:16Harry's a jolly good fellow.
22:18Harry's a jolly good fellow.
22:20Which nobody can deny.
22:22Which nobody can deny.
22:24Come on, Alfred.
22:25Which nobody can deny.
22:27Oh, Harry's a jolly good fellow.
22:29Oh, now, Harry.
22:31Give me the bottle, Alfred.
22:33Now.
22:48Now, don't worry, dear.
22:50What Alfred needs
22:51is the guidance of an understanding brother.
22:53I may be a little hard with him,
22:55but after all, a habit like he has,
22:57well, uh, takes some doing to break.
22:59Yes, Harry.
23:00Perhaps Josh could help us with him?
23:02Uh, no, ma'am.
23:04But I'm willing to pay you double what...
23:06No, ma'am, I...
23:18Oh, Harry's a jolly good fellow.
23:21Harry's a jolly good fellow.
23:23Harry's a jolly good fellow.
23:26Oh, man.
23:48¶
24:18¶