• il y a 5 mois
Mack gets his "Daddy Scott" to pretend to be his real dad when a probation officer comes for a check in. But Scott gets more than he bargained for.

Mack demande à son « papa Scott » de se faire passer pour son vrai père lorsqu'un agent de probation vient le vérifier. Mais Scott obtient plus que ce qu'il avait prévu.

Category

😹
Amusant
Transcription
00:00Hey!
00:01Dude.
00:02What?
00:03There's a lady coming here to talk to you.
00:04I need you to go along with it.
00:05I told her you're my dad because you're my daddy.
00:06Scott.
00:07Daddy Scott.
00:08Nope.
00:09I live here.
00:10I make money.
00:11I'm a good, good boy.
00:12Got it?
00:13Oh, so it's opposite?
00:14Got it?
00:15When is she coming?
00:16I have no idea.
00:17That's her.
00:18I'm supposed to answer like this?
00:19Hey, it's not my fault you're not ready.
00:20I'm not ready.
00:21I'm not ready.
00:22I'm not ready.
00:23I'm not ready.
00:24I'm not ready.
00:25I'm not ready.
00:26I'm not ready.
00:27I'm not ready.
00:28I'm not ready.
00:29I'm not ready.
00:30It's not my fault you're not ready.
00:31What?
00:32Hi.
00:33Calista Flockhart, probation officer for the City of Los Angeles.
00:35Are you Paul Jomas?
00:38Yup.
00:39He's my daddy Scott.
00:41My daddy Paul.
00:43My daddy.
00:44My dad.
00:45Seems I may have caught you at an inopportune time.
00:49Yeah, actually.
00:50I would love to change.
00:51Sorry.
00:52I got to see the way you live.
00:53No changezees.
00:54May I come in?
00:55Well.
00:56Oh.
00:57It's taken us a while to track you down because until recently we thought you were dead.
01:06Yes! Faking death is my greatest magic trick. You didn't know I did magic? Here, I'm thinking
01:12of a number between one and ten and I'm sending it to you mentally. What is it?
01:17Seven?
01:18No, twelve. Dude, you suck at magic.
01:21I've always been so proud of his talent.
01:24So, Paul, tell me, when did your son come to live with you?
01:27Oh, um, a month ago. Two months ago. Two years ago. Three years ago? A week ago. You
01:34tell her.
01:35I came to live here that one day.
01:37January 12th?
01:39Sure.
01:40That worked?
01:42Is he dependent on you?
01:43Oh, you know, as much as a son might be at this point in his life. Sometimes he comes
01:47to me for advice or money.
01:50Cuddles.
01:51No.
01:52Yes.
01:53No!
01:54Yes. That night I saw a squirrel by the pool. And squirrels make me really sad because I
01:56had a pet squirrel when I was a kid and we used to do everything together. And he would
01:59bring me leftover food to eat. He would nibble on my toes. But then I found out he was a
02:03possum and the nibbling gave me the rabies. And then I went temporarily blind.
02:08Okay.
02:09Yeah, and then I saw that squirrel by the pool and I wanted to cuddle him but I couldn't
02:14because I didn't want to get the rabies again. And so I snuck into your window and I cuddled
02:19you instead. How do you not remember that?
02:21I was unconscious?
02:22Not all of you was, if you know what I'm saying.
02:26Night boners.
02:27I think we all knew.
02:30So he snuck through your window but I thought he lived here.
02:34Oh, yeah. Yeah, he does. I just lock my bedroom door at night because I like to be safe.
02:39You're scared of zombies.
02:40And also zombies.
02:41Okay, so... I'm sorry. That's my favorite wine. I wish I could have a glass right now.
02:52Is it yours?
02:53Uh, yeah. I just have a little while I'm writing. You want some?
02:55You're offering a government official wine on the clock? Whoopsies.
03:00Total whoopsies.
03:01You're employed as a writer. Is this what you're working on? Mamma Mia 3, here we go
03:05again again. What?
03:08It's fan fiction.
03:09So you're unemployed.
03:10Well...
03:11Dude, she called you out.
03:13Maybe we could just focus on Mac. I'm a good, good boy.
03:17I saw you actually both have a very extensive criminal record.
03:20We set a record? Oh my God, my dad will be so proud when he hears this.
03:23I just heard it.
03:24What?
03:25I'm your dad.
03:26Right.
03:27You didn't set a record, jerk-nut. You just committed a lot of crimes together.
03:32I have to say, I'm kind of intrigued by the idea of a family of criminals. My family would
03:37always play it safe. Lots of rules, really restricted. I could never really...
03:42Yawn.
03:43What's your point?
03:46Would you tell me about a heist you two committed together?
03:48Oh.
03:49Like that one time you robbed the Chuck E. Cheese. Mac got arrested, but you didn't.
03:55Aw, dude, that was cray.
03:57I want Paul to tell it.
03:59Oh God, where to start?
04:02What made you do it?
04:04Um, well, there was something in the air that night. The stars were bright. Fernando.
04:13I was at Chuck E. Cheese.
04:14Oh yes, for a birthday party. I mean, to make fun of kids who were having a birthday party.
04:19Losers.
04:20Then I was like, you go for the money.
04:22Tickets.
04:23Tickets. And I'll go for the money.
04:24Pizza.
04:25Pizza. Tickets and pizza. That's what we were robbing.
04:27This is so exciting. Look, I've got chillsies.
04:31But then Mac got distracted by the prizes and he saw this G.I. Joe shirt, Power Rangers
04:37shirt, Hannah Montana shirt. And so then he tried to use the tickets he just stole to
04:43get it, because he's a jerk-nut like that. But then the clerk was like, dude, you just
04:47stole these tickets. And Mac was like, it's still legal tender. Give me the shirt.
04:52Wow.
04:53Yeah. So then I'm outside waiting for him with like 10 pizzas, 20 pizzas, 2,000 pizzas.
05:00And I'm like, well, these are getting cold. Might as well dig in. So I'm out there eating
05:05and I don't notice him getting hauled away by the Chuck E. Cheese police, which you think
05:10they would call the cheese, but they don't. It's a missed opportunity. But their pizza
05:16is good.
05:17Any regrets?
05:18Oh, you know, if I had to do the same again, I would. My friend, Fernando, I don't...
05:28Well, this is good enough for me. Paul Jomas, you're under arrest.
05:31What? Why? You're here for Mac.
05:33Why would I be here for Mac? He's been a good, good boy.
05:36That's right, Cyclus.
05:37You, on the other hand, have broken your probation. You're unemployed, drinking, confessing to
05:41a crime you were never even sure you committed, threatening to do it again, and trying to
05:45seduce me by offering me alcohol and wearing that sexy, sexy robe. God, I'm good at my
05:49job.
05:50But no, no, I... You think I look sexy?
05:52So you're not my probation officer?
05:54We've been trying to track your father for three years. You were nice enough to take
05:57me straight to him.
05:58Oh, don't mention it. But I'm not his dad.
06:00Yes, you are, Daddy.
06:01Scott.
06:02Daddy Scott.
06:03No. I mean, yes, exactly. My name is Scott. Mac just asked me to pretend to be his dad
06:08and I went along with it because... Well, I just don't have a lot going on right now.
06:13Yeah, but...
06:14Look, see?
06:17You look much better in this picture.
06:19Yeah, it's the haircut. I need to go back to her.
06:22Yeah, yeah, do that. So, where's Paul Jomas?
06:24I don't know. You should try Palm Springs.
06:26You think he might be there?
06:27No, but you could use a tan.
06:31Okay. Well, I think you still committed some kind of crime by pretending to be someone
06:37you're not in front of me or something, so you're still under arrest.
06:41Oh.
06:42But I might be able to let it go if you let me take a peek-sies under that robe.
06:49You wouldn't rather feel his guns?
06:51Oh, oh, wow, look at those guns. Well, how about this? I feel his guns and I take a peek-sies
06:57under the robe, all at the same time. Just, uh, just come on. You guys wanna, you guys
07:03wanna get out of this or you wanna make Mommy proud? I'm sorry, that's just a little thing
07:07I do sometimes with my boyfriend. He's not my boyfriend anymore. Doesn't matter, just
07:11bring your body parts.
07:13Okay.
07:14Oh my God! I keep setting you up and you keep falling for it. I don't wanna see that.
07:21Have a good day, boys.
07:24I'm taking the wine.
07:29Ah!
07:41Dude, that Chuck E. Cheese story was ridiculous. That would never happen.
07:47I like Lizzie McGuire, Hannah Montana was for losers!
07:53Jerk.
07:58Jerk.
08:00Jerk.

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