DATING is tricky at the best of times - but even harder when you have a disease with as much stigma surrounding it as HIV. Las Vegas-based Lexi Gibson, 30, was born with HIV but wasn’t diagnosed until she was two and her mother passed away from the condition when Lexi was four. Lexi was told by doctors that she wouldn’t live beyond the age of 13 and was bullied badly throughout her school years. Huge improvements in medication mean nowadays Lexi only has to take one pill daily which leaves the virus at completely undetectable levels in her system, but the stigma about HIV remains - making dating a challenge. Past partners have feared catching the illness or tried to keep her HIV status a secret, with one potential suitor fleeing mid-date after finding out about Lexi’s diagnosis. However, Lexi is now a life coach, passionate HIV advocate and founder of the non-profit StopHate Educate - and found love with musician Jade, 26. Jade says she felt worried about Lexi’s health when she was first told, but now understands that Lexi’s zero 'viral load’ means there’s no possibility of Lexi passing on HIV.
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00:00This is Lexi. She fell in love with Jade.
00:04But Lexi has faced many struggles in her road to finding love.
00:08I was born with HIV.
00:11Dating is hard, even without HIV.
00:14When you told me, I felt scared, nervous.
00:17She said, have fun with that HIV, bitch.
00:20Can Lexi push past the hate she gets for living with HIV
00:24and enjoy being in love?
00:26Or will the haters get the better of her?
00:28Online judgment and hate and discrimination towards people with HIV is horrendous.
00:39HIV is a death sentence.
00:42But if you take your medication regularly,
00:45you can live a normal, healthy life,
00:48which is what I like to do every day.
00:52Dating is hard, even without HIV.
00:55Everyone has a preference of what they want to sign up for in a relationship.
00:59I dated this guy at one point,
01:02and he was terrified of me having HIV.
01:05He really struggled because he was a hypochondriac.
01:09And he would just be like, it just haunts me.
01:11Like, I just can't get it out of my head.
01:13He was absolutely terrified.
01:15I was born with HIV,
01:17but our family didn't actually find out about it until I was two years old.
01:21My mother had HIV, but was unaware that she had it.
01:24And she ended up getting very sick.
01:26I was about four and a half years old when she passed away.
01:30I was told I wasn't going to live past 13,
01:33because the medicine wasn't what it is today.
01:36Today, it allows me to live a normal life, just like everybody else.
01:41When dating with HIV,
01:43I find that it's so much better to tell the person in the beginning that I have HIV
01:49before emotions are really involved.
01:54Hi, babe.
01:55Hello.
01:56What you making?
01:57Avocado toast.
01:59Ooh.
02:00Can I help you?
02:01Yeah. Wash those for me, please.
02:03When I first moved out here to Vegas,
02:05I worked for a company,
02:07and we sold cologne and perfume.
02:10And I tried to get her attention to sell her some perfume.
02:14She kind of waved me off.
02:15She's like, oh, I don't wear that stuff.
02:17She turned around, she goes, you cute, though.
02:19And I hopped up.
02:20I'm like, who, me?
02:21I was like, okay, let me get your number, then.
02:23So she gave me her number,
02:24and ever since then, we have not stopped hanging out.
02:28What do you like about me, babe?
02:30I like that you make me laugh,
02:32that you know how to dance.
02:34I like that she's not scared to be my girlfriend.
02:39I told Jade I had HIV actually sitting at this table.
02:44When you told me, I felt scared, nervous for you.
02:49Prior to meeting Lexi,
02:50I did not have much knowledge about HIV.
02:54I just knew that it was, you know, sexually transmitted,
02:57that you can get really sick and die.
03:00I just went right into it,
03:02and I educated her right away.
03:05I take one pill once a day,
03:07and it creates the virus to become undetectable.
03:10I didn't have all the knowledge,
03:11so I was nervous, I was scared,
03:13but you broke it down for me
03:15and helped ease me a little more.
03:17So what do you think, babe? Is it good?
03:19Yeah, I made it very good.
03:22The hardest thing about my diagnosis
03:24was everybody hating me for it
03:26and treating me differently.
03:28Growing up, I experienced a lot of discrimination.
03:32People randomly beating me up,
03:35spitting on me, pushing me in shove huddles.
03:38I was tripped.
03:39I was booed off an auditorium stage.
03:42In my younger years, I had my own bathroom,
03:45my own water fountain,
03:46my own corner of the classroom,
03:48and none of the kids' parents
03:49would allow me to play with their children.
03:52I believe there's still so much stigma
03:54surrounding HIV because
03:56we don't have enough education about it,
03:58and that's really it.
04:00Online judgment and hate and discrimination
04:02towards people with HIV is horrendous.
04:10How have people in your life
04:12dealt with me having HIV?
04:14My mom, she was just concerned
04:16about us being safe,
04:18me being safe and not contracting.
04:21What was the experience
04:22with other people close to you?
04:26Have fun with that HIV, bitch.
04:30I wasn't, like, offended.
04:32I was just like, you know, dang, yikes.
04:35But I didn't take it personally
04:36because I understand that people
04:39who are hurt or upset
04:41will find anything that they can throw
04:43at you and use as a weapon.
04:45You know, it's crazy.
04:46I never thought I'd be so in love
04:49with somebody who has an STI.
04:52That always scared me,
04:53especially growing up.
04:54But I didn't let my lack of knowledge
04:57stop me from pursuing.
04:59Okay.
05:00Hello, you hear me?
05:05I'm exhausted.
05:06Me too.
05:07I think I ate a little extra too many tacos.
05:09Maybe.
05:11So if every single person
05:13went in right now to get tested for HIV
05:16and those who were positive
05:17got on medicine within one to three months,
05:20they would become undetectable,
05:22allowing them to live a normal life,
05:24to not pass it to others,
05:25and then HIV would be done.
05:27It would end with the last person
05:29who contracted it,
05:30and we wouldn't have an HIV pandemic anymore.
05:32Essentially, the cure is to get tested
05:35because the risk is not knowing.
05:38She's a free spirit, just like me,
05:40and you don't come across that often.
05:42She's amazing.
05:43She's dope.
05:44If I said every single thing that I liked about her,
05:46we'd be here forever.
05:48Being accepted in a relationship in general
05:51is a wonderful feeling,
05:52and it's a great thing
05:53whether you have HIV or you don't.
05:55So I'm very grateful
05:57that I'm with somebody
05:58who loves all of me for me.
06:11People leave nasty messages.
06:13You're a pervert.
06:14There's something wrong with you.
06:15Yeah, that hurts.
06:16I feel like they're hurting your feelings.
06:18They're hurting you.
06:20People perceive us as weird as a couple
06:23because we don't follow the regular status quo.
06:26You know, what the hell is she doing
06:28with that little old wrinkly, ugly dude?
06:31She must be cheating on him.
06:33There's a lot of people that will bash us
06:35at any chance that they possibly can.
06:37It's so unbelievable that she's together
06:39with me that there's no way that she's a real woman.
06:42There's no way this could be real,
06:43so she must be in danger.
06:45You're too short, and he's too big.
06:47People just don't get it.
06:49He's crazy. He lost his mind.
06:51What's wrong with him?
06:52It never deterred me one bit.
07:04Interabled relationships are beautiful.
07:08You can date somebody who's transgender
07:10and not be thought of as a weird person.
07:12I know that it looks weird from the outside,
07:14but it just makes my little puppy heart happy.
07:17Humans today, we are all judgmental.
07:20All I know is I love her, and she loves me.
07:23We're just gonna continue loving each other.
07:25No matter what, nothing's gonna change us.
07:28The thing I love most about Mason is how cute he is
07:33and nothing else.
07:36It doesn't matter your gender, your height, your disability.
07:41Love is love, and love will conquer.
07:46F*** the haters.