Love and Detachment || Acharya Prashant, at IIT-Delhi (2022)

Acharya Prashant

13,960 views  Premiered May 25, 2024  #acharyaprashant #IIT ‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/enquir...  ⚡ Want Acharya Prashant’s regular updates? Join WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va6Z...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...   Want to accelerate Acharya Prashant’s work? Contribute: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/contri...   Want to work with Acharya Prashant? Apply to the Foundation here: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/hiring... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Video Information: 15.04.2022, IIT-Delhi, Delhi  Context: ~ How do you define love, and how does it relate to the concept of detachment? ~ Can someone truly love without becoming emotionally attached? ~ Is detachment a healthy approach to relationships, or does it hinder the depth of connection one can experience? ~ How does practicing detachment impact personal growth and self-awareness in relationships? ~ Can detachment be a form of self-preservation in relationships, or does it indicate a lack of commitment? ~ What role does vulnerability play in both love and detachment?  Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Sir, my question was that just some minutes before you told that it requires a deep thinking

00:14to arrive at what is the right thing to do.

00:20So my question was that in terms of like if we have to analyze something and it is quite

00:29a far thing, like suppose we have to analyze the environment or anything that is happening

00:36outside, but when we try to objectively analyze something that happens with us or is associated

00:46with us, it gets a kind of a messy affair to arrive at anything that is worth following

00:53or anything that is clear.

00:55So my question is in the context of how you started this quest of finding out what is

01:02right and was it this thinking and how did you arrive at what was the right thing and

01:11how did you face this challenge of investigating those things which demand, which may have

01:18a risk of losing something that you have been holding for a long time.

01:24So how do we investigate those things?

01:29Right, what is your name?

01:32Siddharth Singh.

01:33Siddharth is asking, it is easy to investigate objective world, phenomena outside of us.

01:43You go to a laboratory and you can conduct experiments there because really you don't

01:50have much to do with the equipment there.

01:57You go and there is an engine you are conducting experiments on or a computer you are writing

02:03code on, you are not personally related there.

02:08So it is easier to be objective there, but when it comes to investigating what is going

02:15on in our life within us then it becomes difficult.

02:20The word that he is struggling to come to is detachment and you will be surprised where

02:28detachment comes from.

02:32Detachment comes from love.

02:35If you really have self-love then you want to know what is going on in your life and

02:42he is right.

02:44It becomes a complicated thing, it becomes a hodgepodge, a mess within.

02:48You just cannot know what is happening, from where is this emotion arising, from where

02:52is that desire coming, why do I hate that direction, why am I falling for such a thing.

02:57All these things happen inside and it becomes so difficult to remain objective because now

03:02the subject itself is involved.

03:06In such situations you require to be detached and that detachment I am saying comes from

03:12love.

03:14Detachment therefore is not an opposite of love.

03:18Detachment is a product of love.

03:22If you are suffering, do you really want to keep suffering?

03:26If you are in a bad situation, do you want to remain there?

03:32If you love yourself, you will say, I want to get out of this place and if I want to

03:39get out of this place, I have to very independently, very neutrally, without prejudice, understand

03:49what is going on.

03:53That is called detachment.

03:55To not to be prejudiced towards yourself, to not to have inner biases, to not to say,

04:04oh I am a good man but bad things are happening with me because the world is conspiring.

04:12No I am a good man.

04:16I deserve to be JEE 1.

04:20It's just that the examination center was too noisy and that's why I am JEE 2714.

04:32I do not know of your batch but most of us in my batch were aggrieved and kept fretting

04:42for all four years that we didn't get the JEE rank we deserved.

04:49And all of us had reasons of this kind.

04:53You know the topics I specialized in, there was no question from those topics.

05:02There was just too much optics in the paper, physics paper, 25% of the paper was from optics.

05:08Now who does that?

05:11This is a scandal.

05:16I had declared myself JEE 1 even before writing the JEE, even thrown a party, even published

05:21in the papers.

05:23But look at my rank now, in four figures.

05:30We live very biased towards ourselves.

05:37Sometimes we also live biased against ourselves.

05:40Sir what can I do?

05:43I cannot speak even in front of the mirror.

05:47If there are even four people in the audience, I faint.

05:52I am no good.

05:55Please take me away, hide me somewhere, better still bury me in the earth.

06:04We can be biased for, we can be biased again, but hardly ever are we realistic.

06:11And it's a very important thing to have in life, realism.

06:15Know yourself rightly.

06:17Know yourself rightly with the faith that your potential is infinite, irrespective of

06:24your infinite potential, if your current reality is of mediocrity, accept it.

06:30But accepting your current reality does not mean remaining limited to your reality.

06:38You should say this is where I stand.

06:39However, I am not destined to stand here.

06:43Very frankly, very honestly, I accept I am standing at a very mediocre level, but this

06:49is not where I will perpetually stay.

06:52My destiny is elsewhere.

06:55I'll climb to the skies.

06:58I'll not say I'm already sitting up there.

07:03Now both of these are problems.

07:05There are those who say, oh, we are born to be great, Swami Vivekananda told us, so I'll

07:09declare I'm already great.

07:10You are born to be great.

07:12That does not mean you are already great, be realistic.

07:15And then there are those who say, I fully well realize I'm in a very in-between position.

07:25I'm not great and that seals my fate.

07:28My entire life I'll spend like this.

07:32Don't limit your flight irrespective of where you are.

07:37You are capable of reaching the highest.

07:39And when I say highest, I do not mean a plum job in the US and four luxury villas there.

07:46That's not the conception of highest you should have.

07:50I have nothing against the US.

07:54But the common conception that we have of being successful in life is deeply flawed

08:01and dangerous.

08:04Self-love, if I am being partial, I'm hurting myself.

08:12Do I want to hurt myself?

08:13No, I don't want to hurt myself.

08:17I don't want to hurt myself.

08:18When you were preparing for the JEE, do you guys still use Irudov or is it out of fashion now?

08:34It's still in use, right?

08:36I do not know what your response to Irudov was.

08:40As far as I was concerned, first three months, I didn't get a single problem right.

08:48Not one problem.

08:49Class 11th, I was told to pick it up in August or September.

08:55Till the winter set in, I was clueless.

08:59What is going on?

09:01One pulley here, one mast there, something is hanging.

09:04Now what do I do then?

09:09Tell myself that I'm already proficient?

09:12Because the answers were there at the back.

09:15In the additions that we used to have.

09:18Sometimes the hints too were there.

09:19You could pick up the answer and reverse calculate and say I've done it.

09:26Is that what you do?

09:27Or do you honestly accept I'm not yet there, please?

09:34That's also the thing you must do in life.

09:37How much of jealousy do I have?

09:40What's my jealousy coefficient?

09:44How possessive I am?

09:47How niggardly, how lazy I am?

09:50Shouldn't you ask these things?

09:57Should you be assessed only on questions in physics and chemistry?

10:02Should you not assess yourself internally?

10:07What's my discipline quotient?

10:10What's my attention quotient?

10:16This thing has been on since an hour or so or one and a half hours, I do not know.

10:20How much have I been attentive to?

10:24Should you not know that?

10:27Or are you saying that everything in the world is important except yourself?

10:32This is important, so I'll know about this.

10:34This is important, I'll know about this.

10:37Everything is important.

10:39This is not important.

10:41I am not important.

10:42My life is not important.

10:43How many of you want to say that, please?

10:48If you are important and your life is important, then which knowledge is the most important?

10:57Self-knowledge, right?

10:58But we have been told that you must be knowledgeable about everything, history, constitution, geography,

11:04of course, PCM.

11:05You must also know international affairs and geopolitics.

11:08You must also know NFTs and Bitcoin and crypto and you know all these things.

11:17What is it that you do not know of?

11:20The self.

11:21Because the self is of no use.

11:23Because we are worthless.

11:25Everything is worthy of being known.

11:26But we are worthless.

11:27Why should we know ourselves?

11:32When you want to know something, then your mind gains sharpness.

11:38Have you not experienced that?

11:40When you really want to solve a problem, have you seen how your entire mental energy gets

11:45focused?

11:47Then there is no question of attachment and prejudice.

11:50Then you are just hell-bent on tackling the problem.

11:54I want to know what's going on.

11:56The same thing happens when you want to know what is happening internally.

12:00And irrespective of what your hormones are doing, what emotions you are experiencing,

12:04you still know the reality.

12:06Are you getting it?

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