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FunTranscript
00:00Excuse me, do you need a companion for this evening?
00:04I do.
00:06I think you are a perfect candidate to be my boyfriend.
00:10I know it sounds strange, but I developed a system, a unique system based on my own unique criteria
00:17that could allow me to find a perfect boyfriend and create...
00:25Oh yes, yes.
00:27And then I can have my own family and have a very healthy offspring.
00:33Schubert, hi! How is it going in the gym, huh?
00:38I'd create a perfect match theory that was supposed to lead me to true love,
00:42but a stranger showed up and decided to destroy it.
00:46I'm Lisa and this is my love story.
00:49Will you make him get a test before you kiss him?
00:52Maybe, because unlike you he is in very good criteria.
00:57Yeah?
00:58Yes.
00:59What are they?
01:025 inches, 10, blonde, well built, Aries of the first decade,
01:08not interested in biology, fixable in brackets.
01:11Ok, give it to me. Give it to me!
01:13You're holding in your hands a very important algorithm.
01:16Come on, it's just an iPad, you're a freak.
01:19And all this gibberish, it doesn't work.
01:22Feelings are not based on a set of parameters, calculations and algorithms.
01:27Primitive approaches pejorative people like in low intelligence.
01:32And a pint of beer in the hands is the same.
01:37Can I just go?
01:39No!
01:40And for the record, you don't fit to any of my criteria,
01:44so I don't want to waste my time on you.
01:46Yeah?
01:47But you're still going to chase me.
01:49100% nonsense.
01:51How about now?
01:54I was willing to do anything to get my iPad back.
01:57I had to find this subject.
01:59Just give me this iPad back!
02:02Why should I?
02:03Because you can't have my property!
02:06Just give me this second!
02:12Please.
02:14Okay.
02:17One date, and it's yours.
02:20It's... it's outrageous!
02:23Exactly!
02:24But there is a condition.
02:26Are you kidding me?
02:27Do something about this.
02:29Are you thinking about my clothes?
02:31Mhm.
02:32What's wrong with them?
02:33A date at the bar?
02:34You don't go to a bar like that.
02:367pm at the Baron Baker.
02:38If you want to see your iPad back.
02:41What a rude and disgusting man.
02:43Just a bore.
02:46But I have to admit,
02:48no one has ever asked me out like this before.
02:53Two minutes before 7, I walk into the bar,
02:56and he was already waiting for me.
02:58Hi.
03:00Hi.
03:04This is for you.
03:07Cactus?
03:08For the plants,
03:09I thought a cactus would be your thing.
03:12Really?
03:13Yeah, they're kind of prickly.
03:15And you're a scientist.
03:17Yes, I'm a scientist, but I'm a biologist,
03:19not botanist.
03:20Botanist, schmotanist, it doesn't matter.
03:22Anyway, I raised it myself.
03:25I decided to give it to you.
03:26His name is Dewey.
03:29Dewey?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Do you want to have it?
03:33No.
03:34Dewey.
03:35Yeah.
03:36Do you want to have Dewey?
03:38At that moment,
03:39I realized that behind this gruff-looking guy's appearance
03:43hides a kind and caring soul.
03:46Okay, I will take care of him.
03:49Excuse me, can I have one more beer?
03:53For Dewey.
03:55Thank you.
04:00So, this is your plan for this date?
04:04You're going to sit here in this pub?
04:06It's not just a pub.
04:09Okay, come on.
04:11Come get up.
04:14I don't think I ever laughed so hard.
04:18At one point,
04:19I even stopped seeing him as a low-end subject
04:22and just allowed myself one day of fun
04:25with this bad boy.
04:38Wow.
04:43Shall we dance?
04:47No.
04:48I'm sorry, but
04:50these shoes are very uncomfortable.
04:58What are you doing?
05:00What are you doing?
05:01You undid them.
05:02No.
05:03Everyone will think that I'm crazy.
05:05Then let them think.
05:07We are both crazy.
05:10Come on.
05:16I liked that Alex smelled great
05:19and that now I could distinguish his smell from others.
05:25And I liked being so close to him.
05:30I also noticed that Alex had beautiful eyes.
05:40So, will you give my iPod back now?
05:46I forgot it.
05:49You'll have to go on another date with me.
05:57We started to go out like this every night.
06:00I forgot all about the perfect match theory and my iPod.
06:04Alex wasn't perfect,
06:06but there was something about him
06:08that just didn't exist on my list.
06:11I was completely confused about my thoughts
06:15and my feelings
06:17until Alex invited me to have dinner together.
06:21That meeting changed everything.
06:27Her presence makes everything extraordinary.
06:32Did you just quote Fitzgerald?
06:34Fitzgerald, yes.
06:36What?
06:37Is it against the federal law to read books?
06:42I brought you something.
06:45Oh, wow.
06:47I didn't think I would...
06:48Anyway, I've been thinking
06:52and I don't have any list of my criteria.
06:58But if I did,
07:02you'd be perfect.
07:05But at that moment,
07:07I noticed someone who was perfect for my criteria.
07:10Blue-eyed blonde,
07:12five feet ten inches tall,
07:15huge smile,
07:16Aries medallion around his neck,
07:18and he's reading a botany book.
07:20There he is.
07:21The perfect man on my list.
07:23But it seems it wasn't just me who noticed him.
07:26Lisa.
07:29Lisa.
07:36What?
07:38A perfect match?
07:39Yes.
07:40I mean, no, no, no.
07:42I see.
07:43Hey.
07:44I was wrong to think that you'd changed.
07:48I don't mean anything to you.
07:50Alex.
07:52Alex, wait.
07:59Hi.
08:01My name is Alvin and I really like you.
08:07And at this point, I finally realized
08:10the guy might meet all your criteria and parameters,
08:14but it can be one detail that will ruin everything.
08:18Like a terrible squeaky voice.
08:21Such a fool.
08:24What?
08:26Nothing.
08:27Nothing.
08:29Hey, you forgot this.
08:31Just keep it.
08:33I needed to stop Alex and make sure I never lose him again.
08:37Alex, please.
08:38I understand that you don't want to talk with me,
08:40but please just hear me out.
08:42Three points.
08:45First of all, I get rid of iPod.
08:47Both.
08:48Tablet and whole theory are gone.
08:52And secondly, you're right.
08:55Love can't be calculated by any formula.
08:59And third...
09:03I...
09:04I think I...
09:05I think I...
09:07love you.
09:08What?
09:12I love you.
09:14I can't hear anything at all.
09:16I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!
09:18I love you too!
09:25With all your list of silly criteria
09:28that makes it impossible to find love.
09:32My love was exactly right about one thing.
09:36Love is beyond all science and calculation.
10:01See ya!