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PeopleTranscript
00:00Today, I got divorced by my husband, Ivan Valentino, we've been married for three years,
00:26but if they could have it, he doesn't even know what I look like.
00:30Miss Lisa Sampson, I'm here on Mr. Ivan Valentino's behalf.
00:34Your three-year marriage contract with him has come to an end.
00:37These are your divorce papers.
00:39You may keep this mansion as well as the two million dollars you previously borrowed.
00:43Please sign.
00:50I couldn't be bothered to show up to the wedding, and now I can't show up to what is divorce either.
00:54Unfortunately, Mr. Valentino has business in France at the moment.
00:58Right. You need to probably jump out with this piece of shit little girlfriend, Patricia Brown.
01:10Um...
01:16I'm sorry.
01:19If you could just pass along a final message to him, you know, for me.
01:24Sure.
01:25Could you just tell him? Like, in this exact wording.
01:30Okay.
01:32He was so disappointing as a husband, I'd have been better off marrying a goldfish.
01:38Got that?
01:40Goldfish. Got it.
01:42Okay.
01:47We're here!
01:50We're here!
01:52You can't lose, Lisa. Plenty of fish in the sea.
02:01I don't know about this.
02:02Girl, don't be hung over by that scumbag.
02:05He never even gave a single damn about you.
02:08I'm still hopelessly in love.
02:11But today, I have to let go.
02:13Yeah. You're right. That arrogant asshole isn't worth it.
02:28Thank you.
02:32Someone spiked my drink with aphrodisiac.
02:38Ooh.
02:42Smash, I found my target.
02:45Have fun, okay? I'll meet up with you later.
02:47Wait.
02:52No!
02:53Holly, wait!
03:01Oh, sorry.
03:07Are you okay?
03:08Yeah, I think somebody actually drugged my drink.
03:10Oh!
03:19Iden Valentino. My ex-husband.
03:26Iden Valentino. My ex-husband.
03:32Whole family's bankrupt.
03:34Brothers across seas chasing down some chick.
03:37How the hell are you planning on paying us all that debt your dad owes us?
03:40I think the only way she can repay us is by breaking her bones.
03:44Well, she's a woman.
03:46Hey! Get away from her!
03:56Mind your business unless you want your ribs broken, too.
04:07Mind your business unless you want your ribs broken, too!
04:09Are you okay?
04:11Thank you.
04:12Yeah, of course.
04:13What's your name?
04:14Iden.
04:15Thank you, Iden.
04:16Delicia.
04:27I've had a crush on you for five years and been married for three.
04:32My husband.
04:34You don't even know who I am.
04:37You don't even know who I am.
05:07I'm sorry.
05:30Maybe this can be our departing gift.
05:34Then it's goodbye forever.
05:55Wonderful. The mistress calls.
06:03Hello?
06:04Who are you?
06:05I-Iden Valentino is still asleep. Is this...
06:08Why do you have my boyfriend's phone?
06:13Boyfriend?
06:14He was my husband until yesterday.
06:16Iden's been calling me babe and that'll bite.
06:20So who do you think I am?
06:21What? I-Iden would never. Who is this?
06:25You're pretty.
06:30Hey there! We're not showing up for the divorce.
06:40That's for cheating on me.
06:44Scumbag.
06:46Ex-husband.
06:48I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
06:54Can I help you?
07:02Do you-do you want this?
07:04I-I really don't want it anymore. Take it.
07:06I'll sell it on eBay if you don't want it.
07:08Well, this looks almost brand new.
07:11Yeah.
07:12Wow. Thank you.
07:18There's a cute little puppy sticker.
07:21Thanks.
07:36Just average. Just average.
07:47Where are any of my clothes?
07:51Jake, I need your phone.
07:53Yes, sir.
07:54Find out who spiked my drink.
07:55Yes, sir.
07:56And more importantly, find out the woman who's in my room last night.
08:01Will do, sir.
08:03Also, today's your first day as CEO of a new company.
08:06Can I start heading out?
08:07Right.
08:08By the way, as per the agreement three years ago,
08:10Attorney Jones has filed the divorce papers for you and your ex-wife.
08:13Did she say anything?
08:15Um, the missus said, um...
08:17You are such a disappointment as a husband that I'd rather marry a goldfish.
08:21Rude.
08:24Apologies.
08:25Her words, not mine, sir.
08:28Like the girl from last night.
08:48Chop, chop.
08:50Hey, the new CEO's about to arrive.
08:52Let's make sure everything looks neat and orderly.
08:57Such a good ex-husband. I can't wait.
09:00I'm sore.
09:01You were never late.
09:03That party of last night?
09:05You know what?
09:07Now let's play style.
09:09I heard the new CEO just came back from Europe,
09:11and he's truly hot and brutal, bitch.
09:15Whoever married him would be so damn lucky.
09:18You think he's interested in one of us?
09:20Okay.
09:21The little virgin is probably a golden bull.
09:23Oh, you're right.
09:24What are you two babbling about?
09:26Hey, the CEO's about to be here.
09:28He's here.
09:29Oh, my God.
09:30What's happening?
09:31Get up. Go, go, go, go.
09:32Everybody, let's go.
09:33Thank you.
09:45Okay.
09:46Smile.
09:47Smile.
09:48Smile.
09:49Smile.
09:50Smile.
09:51Smile.
09:52Smile.
09:53Smile.
09:54Smile.
09:55Smile.
09:56Smile.
09:57Smile.
09:58Smile.
09:59Smile.
10:00Smile.
10:01Smile.
10:02Smile.
10:03Smile.
10:04Smile.
10:05Smile.
10:06Smile.
10:07Smile.
10:08Smile.
10:09Smile.
10:10Smile.
10:11Smile.
10:12Smile.
10:13Smile.
10:15Oh, my God.
10:16This is so embarrassing.
10:21Ahem.
10:30Please don't tell me he recognizes me from last night.
10:35Hey, you're so weird.
10:36It's important to maintain a professional image.
10:39Oh, image. Next time this happens, I'm not going to look.
10:49Okay, he doesn't recognize my face, but not even my name?
10:53Not even your name.
10:55Did he even read the divorce papers he sent me?
10:58Wait, but that means I can keep this job if he doesn't realize it's me, right?
11:03The hair smells kind of nice. Reminds me of the girl last night.
11:09I'll be better if I let her be my secretary, please. Thank you.
11:15Mr. Valentino has chosen you to be his secretary.
11:20What?
11:23I'm an engineer. I'm an engineer.
11:27Is he out of his mind?
11:31Shh!
11:33Mr. Valentino, this will be your new office for the time being.
11:39Is that it?
11:43I'm still not quite sure that I understand, sir. Why have an engineer be your secretary?
11:49Are you telling me how to do my job?
11:52No. I'm just curious.
11:56Ms. Brown was saying that she couldn't reach you on the phone, so she's requesting that you pick her up tomorrow.
12:10Thank you.
12:20Coffee or tea?
12:22Coffee.
12:27I'll get that right away.
12:29Oh, and next time, knock. It's basic etiquette.
12:34Of course, your majesty.
12:39Have you lost your goddamn mind?
12:49You said coffee?
12:51Coffee, please.
12:52Yeah.
12:53Sorry.
12:54I'll go get the coffee.
12:57She wants my attention.
12:59I was going to walk in there, and I was going to say, excuse me, and then I was going to slap him.
13:06And then...
13:09Ms. Hanson, the boss wants to see you.
13:12Okay.
13:15Your coffee, sir.
13:17What?
13:19I'm sorry.
13:21I'm sorry.
13:23I'm sorry.
13:25I'm sorry.
13:27I'm sorry.
13:30Please!
13:34Okay.
13:35All right.
13:39That's the end of this.
13:41Lisa Sampson, what are you doing? What are you doing?
13:44Do you need something from me, sir?
13:46Yes, I need you.
13:48I need you to go shopping.
13:50To get a gift.
13:51Service is an apology.
13:53Can you do that?
13:55It must be for Patricia Brown.
13:56For that call I intercepted last night.
14:02Scumbag.
14:04What?
14:06I'm just... I'm celebrating.