House Rules Full Movie
House Rules Full Movie Full Episode
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00But lately, my current roommate has been making it difficult for me to do so.
00:00:30Whatever happened to the shirts on in the kitchen rule?
00:00:37That's not a real rule.
00:00:39Yeah, it's house rule number 16.
00:00:41No roommate shall hang around the apartment, topless, or bottomless, or both.
00:00:46But those are your rules.
00:00:48No, they're our rules.
00:00:49We agreed to them before you moved in.
00:00:51No, you wrote them down and asked if I agreed.
00:00:54Then I grunted.
00:00:55Not admissible in a court of law.
00:00:56Well, it's admissible in our kitchen, so shirt on.
00:01:00Or what?
00:01:01Or...
00:01:02I won't save you any waffles.
00:01:03Why didn't you start with that?
00:01:04Shirt coming right up.
00:01:05Did I seriously just ask him to cover up that six-pack?
00:01:16I mean, Dylan has always been objectively hot.
00:01:20And it's not like I don't appreciate looking at him.
00:01:24Dylan and I have been friends for years, and I swear I've never seen him as anything more
00:01:28than that.
00:01:29Plus, he's a total player, and I know better than to get involved in games.
00:01:36Oh, man!
00:01:40You happy now?
00:01:41This is your fault.
00:01:42Oh, why?
00:01:43Because I made you put on a shirt like a normal person?
00:01:46Please.
00:01:47Don't worry.
00:01:48I get it.
00:01:49You get what?
00:01:50I understand why you have the no shirt on rule.
00:01:52It's too distracting for you otherwise.
00:01:55Oh!
00:01:56Looks like we'll be needing a bigger apartment.
00:01:58Your ego needs a tall room.
00:02:00You say ego, I say awesomeness.
00:02:01Tomatoes and a lot of them.
00:02:02All I know is that it's time for house rules.
00:02:03We need to cook.
00:02:04Oh, okay.
00:02:05Yeah.
00:02:06Um.
00:02:07Okay.
00:02:08Okay.
00:02:09All right.
00:02:10Yeah.
00:02:11Sorry.
00:02:12I'm going to go take a shower.
00:02:24I know he's joking, but my whole body just blushed.
00:02:33Um, yeah.
00:02:34No.
00:02:35No.
00:02:36You know, one of these days I'm going to say yes, just fuck you out.
00:02:43What on earth?
00:02:44Is he serious?
00:02:45Yeah.
00:02:46Yeah, that's his fault.
00:02:48Yeah, that's his fault.
00:02:49Yeah, that's his fault.
00:02:50What happened back there?
00:02:51Was he joking?
00:02:52Not really.
00:02:53Nope.
00:02:54Someone Emma?
00:02:55Remember Emma?
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00:05:41I think it's time we go over some of them together.
00:05:44What's the point in doing that? You ignore most of them anyway.
00:05:47But you don't ignore them.
00:05:49So what are you getting at?
00:05:50House rule number 19.
00:05:53Roommates shall never date?
00:05:55Yeah, that one.
00:05:57I think it's time I had more input on the house rules.
00:05:59And my first action as co-rulemaker will be to delete house rule number 19 from the list.
00:06:04So what are you trying to say, Dylan?
00:06:08I think you know, Emma.
00:06:10Well, rule number 19 is there for a reason.
00:06:13What reason?
00:06:14I mean, if anything were to happen between us, it wouldn't last.
00:06:19And how would we live together after that?
00:06:21Why wouldn't it last?
00:06:22Wait, let me guess. You think I'm a player.
00:06:26Let's just say that ego of yours is well-fed.
00:06:33What if I told you that the reason I go on all these dates was because I'm trying to find someone?
00:06:37Anyone who would compare to the girl I was really into.
00:06:40No one could ever compare to her.
00:06:42What are you saying?
00:06:44Emma, I secretly love your house rules.
00:06:47Not only is it adorable to watch you try to keep me in line,
00:06:51but the rules are just so... you.
00:06:55What, strict and uptight?
00:06:57Thoughtful and clever.
00:06:59And you're funny when you don't even know it.
00:07:01But most important, your house rules makes this apartment...
00:07:06home.
00:07:08All these years, we've been right in front of each other,
00:07:11but the rules have kept us apart.
00:07:13I'd like to propose a new house rule.
00:07:15Yeah? What's that?
00:07:17A secret kiss rule.
00:07:19Roommates are allowed to kiss just once to see if they're feeling superior or stupid.
00:07:25The risk of what? Abolishing house rule number 19?
00:07:30I'm worried about you.
00:07:32Of course, I am too.
00:07:35But this thing between us was far off, Emma.
00:07:38For a while.
00:07:40So I think...
00:07:41So try.
00:07:43So I think...
00:07:44So try.
00:07:59Thank you for casting your vote.
00:08:01My vote?
00:08:02Yeah, your vote to abolish house rule number 19.
00:08:06I didn't think...
00:08:07Hey, we all think that.
00:08:09No, I'm not, I'm not taking it back.
00:08:11I'm just saying that my kiss doesn't necessarily count.
00:08:14It doesn't.
00:08:17I'm just kidding.
00:08:19I guess in the end, it's the rules that brought us together.
00:08:24Dylan, De La Rosa,
00:08:27I vote that we risk it all.
00:08:30For us.
00:08:32Alright then.
00:08:34It's official.
00:08:35New rule.
00:08:37No more house rule number 19.
00:08:43And who am I to argue with the rules?
00:08:46I can't believe you're making me do this.
00:08:58You better believe I'm getting you back good next time.
00:09:01Seeing you dance will be worth it.
00:09:04Get moving.
00:09:06Come on.
00:09:09Shake that ass.
00:09:16Get it Dylan.
00:09:34You like that?
00:09:36And I think we should dance together when I get home.
00:09:42Oh yeah?
00:09:43Yeah.
00:09:46Hey jerk.
00:09:48You dance like a D-band.
00:09:50Sorry Mrs. Davenport.
00:09:55Okay, that was amazing.
00:09:58If by amazing you mean humiliating.
00:10:00Yes, it was.
00:10:02You asked for a dare, you get a dare.
00:10:07I know I said this already, but uh...
00:10:12Seriously wish I was home right now with you.
00:10:15Why, so you can yell at me for drinking out of the carton?
00:10:18No, so we can spend Valentine's together.
00:10:22I know baby, we'll be together soon.
00:10:24So, truth or dare?
00:10:29Do you have to ask?
00:10:30Truth.
00:10:32Okay.
00:10:37Do you remember the first time we kissed?
00:10:43Of course.
00:10:45Was that the first time you wanted to kiss me?
00:10:49No.
00:10:51So when?
00:10:52Was it when we first got together?
00:10:54No, not that either.
00:10:59It was during that snowstorm we had a few years back.
00:11:02I was so sick and you had a date with uh...
00:11:08With Jenna Stevens from chemistry.
00:11:11Ah, Jenna.
00:11:13Anyway, you cancelled it just to keep me company.
00:11:18I felt so feverish, but we didn't have a thermometer.
00:11:23And you told me how in your family if someone says they're burning up,
00:11:27you kiss them on the forehead to check.
00:11:31You're sensitive.
00:11:32It's better than using the back of your hand on someone's forehead.
00:11:35I told you it was a stupid idea that I could get you sick.
00:11:38But I did it anyway.
00:11:40Yeah, and all I wanted to do was tilt my head back and press my lips to yours.
00:11:49But I was also scared.
00:11:52I was scared too.
00:11:54But I'm glad I thought about the forehead kiss.
00:11:56Even though I ended up getting sick anyway.
00:11:59See? You should have listened to me.
00:12:02Oh, uh, hold on a sec.
00:12:10Oh my gosh!
00:12:14Dylan!
00:12:16This is so sweet!
00:12:19You like them?
00:12:20They're beautiful!
00:12:22What are they?
00:12:24They're flowers. They grow out of the ground.
00:12:26Shut up. You know what I mean.
00:12:29They're called the Queen Emma Lily.
00:12:31That's why they're so beautiful and delicate and unique.
00:12:35Sensitive.
00:12:36I told you to shut up.
00:12:38You know what you're doing to me.
00:12:40You know what you're doing to me.
00:12:42I know, and I wish I could help you out with that.
00:12:45I love them.
00:12:47No one's ever bought me flowers before.
00:12:50And what's this?
00:12:52Is this my mysterious gift you were talking about?
00:12:55Uh, that's for later.
00:12:58You're seriously too much.
00:13:01I never knew you were the type of guy to send flowers.
00:13:04Hey, I'm not just a chiseled bot.
00:13:07I've been known to be romantic.
00:13:10To whom?
00:13:13To whom?
00:13:14Marsha, that's her name.
00:13:16Marsha?
00:13:18Wait. Marsha Mason?
00:13:21You slept with my co-worker?
00:13:24Haven't we discussed this?
00:13:26No.
00:13:28I introduced you to her at my office party,
00:13:31and you both acted like you didn't know each other.
00:13:34That was so long ago, I don't even remember.
00:13:37So you don't remember if you slept with her?
00:13:41Emma.
00:13:42I dare you to tell me.
00:13:43Did you have sex with Marsha?
00:13:45Emma.
00:13:46I dare you to tell me.
00:13:48Did you have sex with Marsha?
00:13:50We got together way before you and I ever hooked up.
00:13:53Just tell me.
00:13:54Fine. Yes.
00:13:56We did. Once.
00:13:58Well, maybe a few times, but it was all in one night.
00:14:01So, silver lining?
00:14:06How many people do I know that you've slept with?
00:14:08Jenna Stevens?
00:14:09Don't ask me that.
00:14:10Gross! My sister?
00:14:13Come on, no.
00:14:14Mrs. Davenport?
00:14:16Ew! She's old enough to be my grandmother.
00:14:19Well, seems like you're not too discerning.
00:14:21Emma, come on.
00:14:22You know what?
00:14:23Try not to f**k anybody else until I'm ready to talk to you again.
00:14:27What?
00:14:52I'm sorry, babe.
00:15:04Marsha, it was so long ago.
00:15:06I told you, back then I had this hole in my heart.
00:15:09And I looked everywhere to find something to fill it.
00:15:12It meant nothing.
00:15:15It was painful, because I should have been with you.
00:15:18Well, now you are.
00:15:21So, we're okay?
00:15:23I shouldn't have gotten so mad.
00:15:25No, I shouldn't have brought it up. It was stupid.
00:15:29Yeah, it was pretty stupid.
00:15:32Well, we do have a game to finish.
00:15:35Dylan, I'm not really in the mood.
00:15:37Just play along, please.
00:15:39Okay, fine. Truth or dare?
00:15:43Truth.
00:15:44Wow, really?
00:15:46Really.
00:15:47Okay.
00:15:48Hmm.
00:15:52Tell me about one of those lover secrets.
00:15:55Tell me about one of those lover secrets.
00:15:58Okay, here's a secret.
00:16:00I love you.
00:16:02Like, really, really love.
00:16:05Like, I can't breathe kind of love.
00:16:08This Valentine, what I really want to give you is my heart.
00:16:17What? Too sappy?
00:16:19No, it's just...
00:16:22Thank you.
00:16:23I wanted to tell you so bad, but I was nervous.
00:16:26I love you, Dylan.
00:16:28You know what?
00:16:30This Valentine's Day hasn't been so bad after all.
00:16:33Yeah, even though we're apart, it's been a pretty good day.
00:16:37I miss you.
00:16:39I miss you, babe.
00:16:40Are you ready to open your present?
00:16:42Yes.
00:16:48Ooh!
00:16:52Bubble bath and candle?
00:16:56Ooh, me likes, me likes.
00:16:59Thank you.
00:17:00You're welcome, beautiful.
00:17:02You feeling dirty?
00:17:05Dirty?
00:17:08Oh, this is exactly what I needed.
00:17:13Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
00:17:16Best Valentine's Day ever.
00:17:19Now, show me something.
00:17:23Emma!
00:17:25Emma, what happened?
00:17:27Look what I found in a drawer in Dylan's room!
00:17:34I never took you for a thong, girl.
00:17:36I'm not! These aren't mine!
00:17:39So why would they be in Dylan's room?
00:17:41Amanda!
00:17:43Okay, um, let's not jump to any conclusions.
00:17:49Why were you looking in his room?
00:17:52I wasn't looking around! I was just doing laundry!
00:17:56You do his laundry?
00:17:58We do each other's laundry, Amanda.
00:18:00We do each other's laundry, Amanda.
00:18:03We take turns doing stuff around the house.
00:18:05That's what a...
00:18:07That's what a relationship is?
00:18:10I guess that's why I avoid them.
00:18:13Are you sure they're not yours?
00:18:15Amanda, I was at my parents' house all last week.
00:18:18I mean, he clearly had someone over.
00:18:21Someone who wears sexier panties than me.
00:18:25Okay, I said no jumping to conclusions.
00:18:28And please, never say the word panties again.
00:18:31Amanda, what other explanation could there possibly be?
00:18:35Maybe they're from like an old fling from like a while back.
00:18:39Maybe they're from like an old fling from like a while back.
00:18:44And then he just stuffed them in a drawer, out of sight, out of mind.
00:18:48That doesn't make sense.
00:18:50Why not just throw them out?
00:18:52Unless...
00:18:54Unless he's still into her!
00:18:56I really don't think so.
00:18:58I mean, he just told you he loved you.
00:19:00That's serious, E.
00:19:02Maybe that was just his guilt talking.
00:19:04Nuh-uh, nuh-uh.
00:19:05I'm not about to let you wallow in this pity party
00:19:08until we have some actual proof that something's up.
00:19:11But how?
00:19:13You say he's gonna be gone a while?
00:19:15I mean, I guess.
00:19:18Then it's time to investigate, girl.
00:19:20There might be some actual evidence in there.
00:19:23You mean snoop around in his stuff?
00:19:25Some people might call it snooping,
00:19:27but I like to call it searching for the truth.
00:19:46Ew!
00:19:47Ew!
00:19:48Ew!
00:19:51New health rule?
00:19:53Don't be gross.
00:19:56What are you even looking for down there?
00:19:58I mean, it's not like women still write their numbers
00:20:01on, like, notes in napkins.
00:20:03Call me. XOXO.
00:20:05That's so old school.
00:20:07Just want to check.
00:20:10But I don't know. There's nothing.
00:20:12Maybe it is just a thong from some old fling.
00:20:15Maybe.
00:20:19But you have separate bathrooms?
00:20:24Yeah.
00:20:34For someone who's such a neat freak,
00:20:36you're an expert at wrecking shit.
00:20:45It's a strawberry-flavored condom?
00:20:49He's cheating on me with a stripper?!
00:20:51Well, maybe he bought it for you,
00:20:53you know, to spice things up a little.
00:20:55Flavored condoms can be fun.
00:20:57No, no, no. We don't use condoms.
00:21:00I have a pill.
00:21:02This is more evidence, right?
00:21:04I mean, I guess.
00:21:06But go you with the raw dog.
00:21:09He didn't even try to hide it.
00:21:11He just left it in plain sight.
00:21:13It was in his private bathroom cabinet
00:21:16behind his deodorant where anyone could see it.
00:21:22Sorry.
00:21:24What's the paper it was wrapped in?
00:21:27It's a note.
00:21:29Glad you could use my services?
00:21:32Call me when she's away again?
00:21:34XOXO Britney?
00:21:36And there's a phone number here!
00:21:38Oh, shit.
00:21:40People still actually write notes?
00:21:42And he kept it?
00:21:44F*** boy.
00:21:46I'm gonna kill him.
00:21:48Well, you won't have to do it alone.
00:21:49I'm coming over.
00:21:51Amanda, I...
00:21:54Why would he do this?
00:21:56I don't know, Em.
00:21:58But no matter what,
00:22:00you're gonna be okay.
00:22:02I don't know.
00:22:04I have to call Dylan
00:22:06and tell him about what I found.
00:22:08You want me to come over?
00:22:10I was serious, you know.
00:22:12Maybe, yeah.
00:22:14If talking to Dylan goes south,
00:22:17I'm gonna need a girl's night.
00:22:19And someone to help me throw all this shit
00:22:21out into the street.
00:22:23Is that part of the house rules?
00:22:25Cheaters will be forcibly removed
00:22:27from the premises.
00:22:29We're gonna add it.
00:22:31Well, just let me know.
00:22:34I'm here for you.
00:22:36Thanks, A.
00:22:37And if he is cheating,
00:22:39screw him!
00:22:41Or don't.
00:22:43Or screw him good one last time
00:22:45and then kick him to the curb.
00:22:47He is really hot.
00:22:49I will.
00:22:50Or I won't.
00:22:52Bye.
00:22:53Bye, girl.
00:22:54Good luck.
00:23:03Hey, babe.
00:23:04So I went ahead and got us tacos.
00:23:08I know it's not Tuesday, but...
00:23:11Hey, what's wrong?
00:23:13Look, I know my room's a mess.
00:23:15Dylan?
00:23:17I found a thong.
00:23:18Guess what?
00:23:19I booked that commercial.
00:23:21Great.
00:23:22I found a thong.
00:23:23So what do you say you and I
00:23:25celebrate tonight?
00:23:27And, uh...
00:23:28Yo, yo, yo, yo!
00:23:31Yo, are you serious right now, bro?
00:23:33Are you serious?
00:23:35I'm sorry, man.
00:23:36I didn't know.
00:23:37Why don't you take your eyes out
00:23:38of your ass so you can see
00:23:39where you're going next time, man?
00:23:41I'm so sorry.
00:23:42I had no idea.
00:23:43Yeah, you sorry.
00:23:44What am I supposed to do now?
00:23:45Baby, I'm sorry.
00:23:46You just ruined my pies.
00:23:47But, no, but I...
00:23:49Black pies matter, bro.
00:23:51What am I gonna do now?
00:23:52What am I gonna do now?
00:23:54I don't know, but whatever you need,
00:23:55I'll pay for it.
00:23:56I'm sorry.
00:23:57No, no, no, no.
00:23:58Don't touch my slices, man.
00:23:59Go somewhere, do your pilates,
00:24:01do what you do.
00:24:02What do you need?
00:24:03You want me to pay for anything?
00:24:04No!
00:24:05Just go, man.
00:24:06Just go.
00:24:07Just go, man.
00:24:08Just go look pretty somewhere else, man.
00:24:10Thanks.
00:24:11Just go ahead, Abercrombie and Fitch.
00:24:16That was quick.
00:24:17Everything okay?
00:24:18No.
00:24:19I didn't even get it out.
00:24:20Why?
00:24:21Just...
00:24:22He...
00:24:23Just...
00:24:24Stuff happened, okay?
00:24:25Just don't push me, okay?
00:24:27Okay.
00:24:29I'm sorry, Amanda.
00:24:30It's not you.
00:24:33It's just...
00:24:34I don't ever want to see him again.
00:24:36Well, you won't have to.
00:24:38I'm going to be leaving my place soon.
00:24:40He won't come near you or that apartment.
00:24:42Thanks, A.
00:24:43I know you really love him.
00:24:45I do.
00:24:47I really thought he was different.
00:24:49We all did.
00:24:50He got us all fooled.
00:24:52But I'm about to leave soon.
00:24:54Don't do anything stupid, okay?
00:24:56Don't do anything stupid, okay?
00:25:06Okay.
00:25:15Hi.
00:25:16Are you the casting director?
00:25:18No.
00:25:19I'm Emma, Dylan's girlfriend.
00:25:22Well, soon to be ex-girlfriend.
00:25:25Who's Dylan?
00:25:30Oh.
00:25:32Right.
00:25:33That Dylan.
00:25:35Ex, huh?
00:25:37I'm so sorry to hear you guys broke up.
00:25:41Oh, don't give me that bullshit.
00:25:43You left your disgusting thong here.
00:25:45And a note.
00:25:47I wanted Dylan to have something to remember me by.
00:25:51I can't believe this.
00:25:53Can you blame me?
00:25:55Dylan's hot.
00:25:57Well, I thought he was more than just hot.
00:25:59I thought he was a really great guy.
00:26:01And I thought what we had was special.
00:26:04I can't believe he'd just throw it all away to cheat.
00:26:07With you.
00:26:09Wait.
00:26:10You think he cheated?
00:26:12Uh, yeah.
00:26:14The thong, the note, the condom ready to go.
00:26:20Plus you just admitted it.
00:26:21No.
00:26:22I admit I left my panties.
00:26:25Don't say panties.
00:26:27And your strawberry flavored condom.
00:26:29And the strawberry flavored condom.
00:26:32It was my last one.
00:26:33I was really trying to impress him.
00:26:35So you left a condom here but you didn't f*** my boyfriend?
00:26:40No.
00:26:41Unfortunately.
00:26:43So why'd you leave a condom?
00:26:45So he would know I was DTF.
00:26:48But you know, safe about it.
00:26:50That's probably the sluttiest thing I've ever heard.
00:26:53What are you, like an escort or something?
00:26:56Excuse me?
00:26:57No, I'm not.
00:26:59Who the hell do you think you are?
00:27:01Well, I don't get it.
00:27:03Your note says, glad you can use my services.
00:27:06Look, chill out.
00:27:08I run a cleaning service.
00:27:10Dylan hired me to clean your apartment while you were away.
00:27:13Because, you know, he's kind of a lazy and gross.
00:27:17And he was trying to impress you.
00:27:20But you were gone and he was cute, so I made my move.
00:27:24He was cute, so I made my move.
00:27:27But he turned me down.
00:27:28Which, I know.
00:27:30Shopper.
00:27:31Not you, skinny.
00:27:32We're chicken.
00:27:33So, that's all.
00:27:36Figured he might change his mind and give me the condom so I can say,
00:27:40I didn't respect you.
00:27:42Even though he said, which is rude.
00:27:44And you're like, OC.
00:27:46You know, you're a lot of people.
00:27:50There are other underwears.
00:27:52You know, like cheapy or thong or never ask for your hand.
00:27:56So, he never called you?
00:27:59Because you're not respected.
00:28:01And he's aware you're telling him the truth.
00:28:05Yes.
00:28:06In fact, all the people who have money,
00:28:09some housewives,
00:28:11was actually pretty stupid.
00:28:13Never asked for their hand.
00:28:15I'm waiting for the big money.
00:28:16They're not free.
00:28:17So, I'm going to be a housewife for a while.
00:28:19But he really didn't care about me.
00:28:21He was kind of like,
00:28:23if you have food, find it.
00:28:24If you have alcohol, find it.
00:28:26Those are brothers.
00:28:28Oh my god.
00:28:37Sorry babe, that was a mess.
00:28:40I think we should probably order in tonight.
00:28:42And do some laundry.
00:28:44My shirt is pretty much ruined.
00:28:47Who says you need a shirt?
00:28:49Well, what a lady wants, a lady gets.
00:28:52Oh, and what were you saying about a thong?
00:28:55Oh, um, I was just thinking about wearing one for you.
00:29:02I thought you might be tired of granny panties.
00:29:05Frisky.
00:29:07Who says you need any underwear at all?
00:29:09Dylan!
00:29:10What? A man can dream, can't he?
00:29:12Maybe I'll get lucky?
00:29:15With you, every day is lucky.
00:29:17Aw, babe.
00:29:18You must be having a nice day.
00:29:21Yep, it's been great.
00:29:23Well, I'm almost home,
00:29:25so your day's about to get even better.
00:29:30What's wrong?
00:29:35Why is Amanda in front of our building with a baseball bat?
00:29:40Oh, uh, you should run.
00:29:44Dylan!
00:29:45Yeah, you should get out of there.
00:29:47I just have a couple questions for you, you know?
00:29:49Come here!
00:29:50Let's have a chat, Dylan!
00:29:52Dylan?
00:29:53Dylan, where are you going?
00:29:54Dylan, I don't have time for you, sir!
00:29:56Not with my best friends, dogs and genies!
00:29:58Are you kidding me?
00:30:02Okay, so.
00:30:04What do you think?
00:30:06No.
00:30:07That is not appropriate for a job interview.
00:30:10What if I wore a cardigan with it?
00:30:15Man.
00:30:18You shot down every outfit I own.
00:30:20I'm just being honest with you.
00:30:22Maybe too honest.
00:30:24What's that supposed to mean?
00:30:26Ever since I applied for this job, you've been trashing it.
00:30:29I'm just being real with you.
00:30:31Babe.
00:30:32Assistant to the CEO of Vanguard Models?
00:30:36This could be huge!
00:30:37And you're not being supportive.
00:30:39Me telling you the truth is being supportive.
00:30:42If you hated Vanguard so much, why did you work for them?
00:30:45It was a good gig.
00:30:46And they treated the talent, me,
00:30:49like royalty.
00:30:50But they treated the staff like shit.
00:30:52I don't want you lumped in with everyone else.
00:30:54Oh, so I'm everyone else.
00:30:57My job isn't as important because I'm not in front of the camera like one of your model friends?
00:31:02That is not what I meant.
00:31:04That is not what I meant.
00:31:06Uh-huh. Sure.
00:31:10What about this one?
00:31:15Last time I wore this, you said I looked stunning.
00:31:19Yeah, but it's just too...
00:31:21Professional? Flattering? Perfectly appropriate for an interview?
00:31:26Look, if you don't want my opinion, don't ask for it.
00:31:29Oh, I know what this is about.
00:31:32Oh yeah, what's that?
00:31:34You're jealous of Chris Monroe.
00:31:37I am not.
00:31:38He was voted one of Style Magazine's most eligible bachelors.
00:31:42Two, his modeling company is one of the most followed accounts on Insta.
00:31:47He's one of the youngest, richest CEOs in the country.
00:31:51And, if I get hired, I'm going to be spending all day, every day with him.
00:31:58So, um, yeah, I'd say you're probably pretty jealous.
00:32:01That guy's a class-A douche-nozzle.
00:32:03A what?
00:32:05I'm secure in our relationship.
00:32:07Never worry about you falling for that guy.
00:32:10So then what's your issue?
00:32:12So then what's your issue?
00:32:15My issue is that you're not chasing your dreams.
00:32:18I want you to be happy.
00:32:20No one lands their dream job in their twenties.
00:32:23I need experience first.
00:32:25You have tons of experience. We met on set, remember?
00:32:28You were interning for that ad agency.
00:32:30You were modeling that dumb Speedo.
00:32:32More like super hot Speedo.
00:32:34And I kept catching you sneaking off to the craft services table.
00:32:38My point is, you have tons of experience.
00:32:41You just need to put yourself out there.
00:32:44When we first met, you told me you wanted to start your own agency.
00:32:48I still do.
00:32:50Okay, so what's holding you back?
00:32:52It's not that easy.
00:32:54Of course it is. You're smart, well-connected,
00:32:57and you have an incredibly gorgeous boyfriend cheering you on.
00:33:02What are you so scared of?
00:33:04Okay, what about this one?
00:33:07Still no.
00:33:10Are you seriously policing my clothes right now?
00:33:13I can look after myself. Thanks.
00:33:15I know you can.
00:33:17But do you really want to work for someone like that?
00:33:19Seriously, ask him why his assistant left.
00:33:22It's a tough industry. Not everyone can hack it.
00:33:25Listen, I can be home in 20 minutes.
00:33:28Skip the interview, and we'll come up with plans for you to start your own agency.
00:33:32Will you just stop? Please?
00:33:35Emma, I know you're scared.
00:33:37Dylan, you don't know anything.
00:33:39You don't know what it's like.
00:33:41All you do is just stand in front of the camera and look hot.
00:33:44Well, some of us have to actually work for a living.
00:33:48I gotta go.
00:33:50I would say wish me luck, but I know you wouldn't mean it.
00:33:53Emma.
00:33:54I gotta go.
00:33:57Okay.
00:34:05I take it you're Emma.
00:34:07Chris Monroe.
00:34:08Hi, Chris.
00:34:10It's great to see you, Emma.
00:34:12Is now still a good time to chat?
00:34:14Definitely. I've been looking forward to this all week.
00:34:18Alright, great. Well, let's get started then.
00:34:22So, I was impressed with your resume.
00:34:24Looks like you've worked for almost every major agency in the city.
00:34:27Yes, I've seen it all.
00:34:30The good and the bad.
00:34:34Well, let's focus on the good, shall we?
00:34:36Why don't you start by telling me about your most memorable experience in the industry?
00:34:40Well, as you saw on my resume, I used to work for Perception.
00:34:44Ooh.
00:34:47Last year, we booked a major holiday shoot.
00:34:51And the client wanted to go for your typical aesthetic, really tall, thin women and lean, muscular men.
00:34:58But I suggested we take a different approach.
00:35:02I wanted to go for a more diverse array of models.
00:35:06You know, really push for representation.
00:35:09It was something that Perception had never done before.
00:35:13And, well, they went for it.
00:35:16It was a super successful campaign.
00:35:19And it shows that you can be inclusive and still be profitable.
00:35:25Well, I'll tell you what, Emma.
00:35:27I like your spirit.
00:35:29Wow. Thank you. That means so much coming from you.
00:35:33Vanguard is so impressive.
00:35:36I agree. I'd even say we're the best.
00:35:40Well, there's no such thing.
00:35:45There's always room for improvement.
00:35:48Top companies can always strive to be better.
00:35:51Even Vanguard.
00:35:52Oh?
00:35:53And, um, what would you do better?
00:35:57Well, I did notice that there's not a whole lot of diversity.
00:36:04Wow, you really like that word, huh?
00:36:06Diversity.
00:36:08Um, I noticed that there's not a whole lot of it on your social media in particular.
00:36:13Think of all the work you could do with plus-size models and...
00:36:17And models of different gender identities and...
00:36:22Let me stop you right there, Emma.
00:36:24Vanguard is the best because we stick with what works.
00:36:27Conventional models, conventional looks.
00:36:30You have the opportunity to change the world with your platform.
00:36:34Right, we're not trying to change the world, we're trying to make money.
00:36:38And we're pretty darn good at it.
00:36:40Plus, we donate plenty of that money to charities so the SJWs don't cancel us on social media.
00:36:46I'm not talking about charity, I'm talking about making a systemic difference.
00:36:53You know, shifting the paradigm.
00:36:55So we're clear. As my assistant, it won't be your job to make a systemic difference.
00:37:01It'll be your job to keep me happy.
00:37:03You book my flights, you keep me on schedule.
00:37:06Accompany me to social events.
00:37:08I understand.
00:37:10Alright, good.
00:37:12Now, just one last thing. Could you stand up for me?
00:37:16What?
00:37:18We have a certain standard here at Vanguard.
00:37:21My assistant needs to have the whole package.
00:37:24And so far, I mean, it looks like you do.
00:37:26I need to get a better sense of your... your assets.
00:37:32Okay, look, let's not beat around the bush here.
00:37:34You're an incredibly attractive woman.
00:37:36I'm a pretty good looking guy myself.
00:37:38We'll be working very closely together and I just want to make sure that, you know...
00:37:42You know what?
00:37:44I'm no longer interested in this position, or any position with you for that matter.
00:37:49Excuse me?
00:37:51Do you know what? F*** you.
00:37:54Excuse me?
00:37:56Do you know what? F*** you.
00:37:58Excuse me?
00:37:59Do you know what? F*** you.
00:38:19Hey babe, that was quick.
00:38:23Everything go okay?
00:38:25I mean, you're like beyond qualified for the job.
00:38:28I hung up on him.
00:38:29You did what?
00:38:31I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:38:34You were right. That guy was such a... what you call him?
00:38:39Douchenozzle?
00:38:40Right. That.
00:38:42He completely shit all over my ideas for inclusivity.
00:38:46And then, he was such a creep.
00:38:50He told me to stand up so he could check out my assets.
00:38:53I'm gonna kick his ass.
00:38:55No need. I already hung up on him.
00:38:58Oh my god.
00:39:00I hung up on him.
00:39:02Oh my god.
00:39:04I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:39:06He can end my career.
00:39:08I can't believe I did that. That was so stupid.
00:39:10Oh my god.
00:39:12I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:39:14He can end my career.
00:39:16I can't believe I did that. That was so stupid.
00:39:19I'm so freaking proud of you, babe.
00:39:21What?
00:39:22You stood up for what you believe in.
00:39:24You put that asshole in his place.
00:39:26Man, I wish I could have seen the look on his face when you hung up on him.
00:39:30Pretty sure it's never happened to him before.
00:39:32He was like...
00:39:38Oh man.
00:39:39Maybe I should have been more professional about it.
00:39:42You know what? No.
00:39:44No regrets.
00:39:46I could never work for a douchenozzle like that.
00:39:49There you go. That's my girl.
00:39:52Guess you want to say I told you so?
00:39:55For what?
00:39:57You did nothing wrong. He's the a-hole.
00:40:01You want to know a secret?
00:40:03I may have been a teeny tiny bit jealous.
00:40:06Of Chris Monroe?
00:40:08Have you seen that man with his shirt off?
00:40:10Ugh. I don't need to see pictures.
00:40:13I have my own eye candy at home.
00:40:16Eye candy, huh?
00:40:18Okay, okay.
00:40:20Don't let it get to your head.
00:40:22Too late.
00:40:23Speaking of candy, what if we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?
00:40:27That's a chance for you to see a model eat way too many donuts.
00:40:33Or...
00:40:35I can brainstorm some ideas.
00:40:37For dessert?
00:40:39For my modeling agency.
00:40:41You're right.
00:40:43I think it's time that I start chasing my dreams.
00:40:45Now I've never been more attracted to you.
00:40:50I love you, Dylan.
00:40:53I love you, Emma.
00:40:55Speaking of attraction,
00:40:57don't take off that dress just yet.
00:41:05Come on, let's see it.
00:41:07Here it goes.
00:41:11Dylan's going to have a heart attack.
00:41:13Good thing he does a lot of cardio.
00:41:15It's a surprise for his six month anniversary.
00:41:18When we were just friends and his dates would come over,
00:41:20they'd go all out.
00:41:22One girl even showed up in a trench coat.
00:41:25Stop obsessing over his past.
00:41:27I know.
00:41:29It's just hard for me not to compare myself.
00:41:32Dylan has been with a lot of women.
00:41:36Hot and sexy.
00:41:38Adventurous women.
00:41:40I want to be hot, sexy, and adventurous too.
00:41:43You are.
00:41:45Well, in your own way.
00:41:47He's going to love it, trust me.
00:41:53What's up?
00:41:54Dylan just texted and said he has to work late.
00:41:56Damn, bummer.
00:41:58I wonder if he even remembers it's our anniversary.
00:42:00Ugh, this sucks.
00:42:02I had such big plans for us tonight.
00:42:04Why don't you video chat him and show him what he's missing?
00:42:09Wait, you really think I should?
00:42:11Once he gets a glimpse of that outfit,
00:42:14he's not going to be able to get any work done.
00:42:17And that's exactly what a hot, sexy, adventurous girlfriend would do.
00:42:21Damn right it is.
00:42:23But are you sure I look okay?
00:42:25Like, do I look tempting?
00:42:27Yes, oh my god, yes.
00:42:29Yes, you do.
00:42:31More tempting than trench coat girl?
00:42:33Forget trench coat girl.
00:42:35Now go.
00:42:37Seduce your man.
00:42:47Here, guys, look here.
00:42:49Perfect.
00:42:51Awesome, yes.
00:42:53I want tense and beautiful.
00:42:55Love it.
00:42:57Beautiful.
00:42:59Take four.
00:43:01Love it.
00:43:06This is great.
00:43:08This is what we want, right here.
00:43:10Don't change.
00:43:17Hi, sexy.
00:43:19Hey.
00:43:21Uh, hey.
00:43:23What's wrong?
00:43:25Sorry, babe, I was just expecting a call from someone else.
00:43:29Oh.
00:43:31Still here, just handling payroll paperwork.
00:43:34Paperwork? You're a model.
00:43:36I still gotta get paid, babe.
00:43:38Hopefully I can get out of here soon.
00:43:40I got things to do.
00:43:42I know something you can do.
00:43:44I know something you can do.
00:43:46Me.
00:43:48Like, do me?
00:43:50As in, like...
00:43:52Never mind, it's not in front of you or my head.
00:43:54Oh. Okay.
00:43:56Well, I have something special for us tonight.
00:44:00You want a little preview?
00:44:05I'm, um, very much looking forward to spending some quality time tonight with you.
00:44:14What's the costume for?
00:44:16You going to a comic book convention?
00:44:18It's not a costume.
00:44:20It's lingerie.
00:44:22Oh. It's...
00:44:24Nice.
00:44:27Nice.
00:44:30Really nice?
00:44:32You know what? Forget it.
00:44:34But you hate lingerie.
00:44:36What'd you call that thong we sell at the store?
00:44:38Butt floss.
00:44:40You said you didn't need floss up your butt to feel sexy.
00:44:43Well, I don't, but...
00:44:45I don't know, I just thought it'd be fun, you know?
00:44:48To try something different.
00:44:50Well, it definitely is different.
00:44:52Especially for you.
00:44:54Hey, listen, babe.
00:44:56I have to finish this and get out of here.
00:44:58Okay, fine. Go. Bye.
00:45:00Bye.
00:45:02Yeah, good job. Thank you.
00:45:04Looking really good, people.
00:45:07That was a quickie.
00:45:09Nothing happened.
00:45:11You know what I'm saying?
00:45:13He pretty much ignored me and then laughed at me.
00:45:15What?
00:45:17He called my outfit a costume.
00:45:19I'm pretty sure he insinuated I was a comic book nerd.
00:45:21That shows what he knows.
00:45:23You're actually a teen lit nerd.
00:45:25I'm so bad at this.
00:45:27Stop.
00:45:29You're just as hot, sexy, and whatever else is all those other girls.
00:45:33So you know what you're going to do?
00:45:35Rave the fridge and draw my feelings in Ben and Jerry's?
00:45:37You're going to prove it.
00:45:39And when Dylan comes home and sees you waiting all dolled up,
00:45:42I really get his attention.
00:45:44I really get his attention.
00:45:46How?
00:45:48What would hot, sexy, and adventurous Emma do?
00:45:51Okay.
00:46:03Okay.
00:46:05I've always wanted to try these.
00:46:07I'm impressed.
00:46:09Should I keep the leopard print on or take it off and go for the cold, hard steel?
00:46:16The real question here is, where are you going to hide the key on your body so he can find it?
00:46:23That's the beautiful thing about these handcuffs.
00:46:26They are breakaway.
00:46:28So when it gets all hot and steamy, all I have to do is free myself and jump Dylan's bones.
00:46:37I think I like the dirty you.
00:46:40Never felt sexier.
00:46:43Rawr!
00:46:49Too much?
00:46:51Maybe just a little too much.
00:47:12Hey, stud.
00:47:14On your way home yet?
00:47:16Sorry, babe.
00:47:17I'm just getting out of the studio right now.
00:47:19I took longer than I thought.
00:47:21Well, hurry home.
00:47:23That surprise I have for you is all warmed up.
00:47:27That's great, babe.
00:47:28I need to make one stop.
00:47:29It's important.
00:47:30Oh.
00:47:31So is this.
00:47:33Oh, yeah.
00:47:34What's that?
00:47:36Can't tell you that yet.
00:47:38It's under the table.
00:47:40Can't tell you that yet.
00:47:42It's under lock and key.
00:47:51Handcuffs?
00:47:52Really?
00:47:54What's gotten into you, Emma?
00:47:55You're not acting like yourself.
00:47:56So what?
00:47:57You just don't think I'm hot?
00:47:58No, I'm...
00:48:00Or sexy?
00:48:01Or adventurous?
00:48:02What?
00:48:04You know what?
00:48:05Fine!
00:48:06This is the last time I ever try to impress you.
00:48:08Why don't you just get back together with Trench Coat Girl?
00:48:11Who?
00:48:13I'm done.
00:48:14What?
00:48:15I'm done.
00:48:17What?
00:48:18Emma!
00:48:38Okay.
00:48:44Shit.
00:48:53I hate my life.
00:49:04Look, Emma needs you to come home.
00:49:06She handcuffed herself to the bedpost and got stuck.
00:49:08Um, okay.
00:49:10And why are you telling me this and not her?
00:49:12Because she's not talking to you.
00:49:14Um, okay.
00:49:15And why are you telling me this and not her?
00:49:17Because she's not talking to you.
00:49:20Seriously?
00:49:21Yeah.
00:49:22I mean, you made her feel really crappy today.
00:49:24I mean, first, you forget your six-month anniversary.
00:49:27Wait, hold up.
00:49:28I know.
00:49:29I know a six-month anniversary may seem stupid.
00:49:32But it's Emma we're talking about here.
00:49:35I mean, all she wants is to be wanted by you.
00:49:38I mean, she went and bought a corset, stockings, a garter, and you didn't even notice.
00:49:44She even got some handcuffs to spice things up in the bedroom a little bit.
00:49:48Why would Emma think she needs to spice things up?
00:49:51Because she wants to be just as hot, sexy, and adventurous as all your other exes.
00:49:56I mean, her words, not mine.
00:49:58That's ridiculous.
00:49:59She means more to me than all the other girls combined.
00:50:01Then show her that.
00:50:04I'm trying.
00:50:20Did you tell Dylan to hurry up?
00:50:22Because these handcuffs are super uncomfortable and this corset is super tight.
00:50:29Why don't you tell him yourself?
00:50:32Did you tell Dylan to hurry up?
00:50:34Because these handcuffs are super uncomfortable and this corset is super tight.
00:50:41Why don't you tell him yourself?
00:50:43Told you.
00:50:44I'm not...
00:50:45Incredibly sexy.
00:50:47The hottest girlfriend around.
00:50:49More than I could ever deserve.
00:50:55Look, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I just want to say I'm sorry.
00:50:59I'm sorry for being distracted.
00:51:01I'm sorry for being the dumbest boyfriend on earth.
00:51:04I don't deserve you.
00:51:06But I'm not sorry for forgetting our anniversary.
00:51:09Because I didn't.
00:51:13Dylan's house rules for Emma?
00:51:16I'm not an artist, but that's why it took me so long.
00:51:20Read the first rule.
00:51:22Always be yourself because the way you are is perfect.
00:51:27I can't believe you made this.
00:51:29That's not all.
00:51:30I was so distracted because I was worried I wouldn't get out of the photo shoot in time.
00:51:34In order for me to pick up this little anniversary gift I got a few weeks ago.
00:51:37In order for me to pick up this little anniversary gift I got a few weeks ago.
00:51:45Looks like you already got a new bracelet.
00:51:50Emma, I love you because you're you.
00:51:53I don't want any other girls.
00:51:55And I don't care if you wear a trench coat or handcuff yourself to a bed.
00:52:00Actually, I prefer if you didn't.
00:52:02You could hurt yourself.
00:52:03Yeah, because I'm klutzy, awkward, and silly.
00:52:06Sure, but you're also hot.
00:52:08And can you show me what you're wearing a little better?
00:52:14You're so beautiful.
00:52:16Emma, if you want to be more adventurous, I'm totally into it.
00:52:19But only if it's because it's what you want to do.
00:52:22Yeah, it is.
00:52:24Good.
00:52:25No more comparing yourself to old girlfriends.
00:52:27This is the first six months of our entire lives.
00:52:30And I can't wait to spend my future with you.
00:52:32Me too.
00:52:34You're amazing.
00:52:35We're amazing.
00:52:36Together.
00:52:38Oh.
00:52:40Okay, well, first things first.
00:52:43Get your butt home and get me out of these handcuffs.
00:52:47I have to pee.
00:52:51How's the party prep going?
00:52:53Good.
00:52:54I think.
00:52:55Nachos are in the oven.
00:52:56Everything's decorated.
00:52:58Dylan's been working so hard lately.
00:53:00And I just want him to let loose and really enjoy his birthday.
00:53:04Stop worrying and go put some clothes on.
00:53:06Well, that's actually why I called you.
00:53:08Dylan loves when I wear this dress I got in Cabo.
00:53:11But I just feel so bloated.
00:53:14Can you let me know if it looks okay?
00:53:16A fashion show?
00:53:17I'm in.
00:53:18What do you think?
00:53:19You look amazing as usual.
00:53:21Are you sure?
00:53:23I don't know.
00:53:24It just feels tight.
00:53:26Are you sure you want to wear white?
00:53:28Why wouldn't I?
00:53:30Because you have your period?
00:53:32Okay.
00:53:33One, it's creepy that you know that.
00:53:35I'm your best friend.
00:53:37It's my job to keep track of your cycle.
00:53:39And two, you're wrong.
00:53:41I am your best friend.
00:53:43It's my job to keep track of your cycle.
00:53:45And two, you're wrong.
00:53:47I don't have my period.
00:53:49Well, you should.
00:53:50I mean, it's the fifth.
00:53:51And you get your period on the third of every month just like me.
00:53:54Oh my god.
00:53:56You're right.
00:53:58Em, are you okay?
00:54:01I'm late.
00:54:03I'm late.
00:54:06I'm like days late.
00:54:09Okay, okay, okay.
00:54:11Okay, well, let's not freak out here.
00:54:14This isn't normal for me.
00:54:16Oh my god.
00:54:20I'm...
00:54:21No, don't say it.
00:54:23I'm pregnant!
00:54:25What am I going to do?
00:54:27I can't have a baby.
00:54:29I don't know the first thing about raising a kid.
00:54:32Oh god.
00:54:33That's why the dress is tight.
00:54:35It's not bloat.
00:54:36It's baby!
00:54:37Oh, Renee Arnaz.
00:54:41You wouldn't have a baby bump already.
00:54:43Now stop acting crazy.
00:54:46And breathe.
00:54:48Good.
00:54:49Now, are you having any other symptoms?
00:54:52No.
00:54:53I mean, I'm kind of crampy and I'm super on edge.
00:54:58But that doesn't really tell us anything.
00:55:01It tells us that I'm pregnant!
00:55:03Could be pregnant.
00:55:05Oh my god, and what am I going to tell Dylan?
00:55:07Ha ha ha!
00:55:08Happy birthday!
00:55:09You're going to be a dad!
00:55:10I always wanted to be a dad, you know?
00:55:12We both want a family.
00:55:13Someday.
00:55:14Not now.
00:55:16Not now.
00:55:17We're in our 20s.
00:55:18We're supposed to let loose and have fun.
00:55:21And oh my god, he's been so stressed lately.
00:55:24And now I'm going to ruin his birthday.
00:55:28Oh my god.
00:55:29Not just his birthday.
00:55:32His life!
00:55:34I mean, you could be worrying over nothing.
00:55:36You need to take a test.
00:55:38Oh no.
00:55:39No, no, no, no.
00:55:40What if someone sees me at the drugstore?
00:55:43Then the rumor mill will turn.
00:55:45And then they'll spread the news all over town.
00:55:47And then everyone will know that I'm pregnant.
00:55:49And then they'll be shamed and disowned.
00:55:52Emma, you live in New York City, not Walnut Grove.
00:55:57Go to the store.
00:55:59And if you're so worried about someone seeing you,
00:56:01then go to one that's further away.
00:56:03No, I don't have time.
00:56:05I need to finish baking the cake and hanging the decorations.
00:56:09And this is more important.
00:56:11But Dylan will understand.
00:56:15OK.
00:56:17I'll call you when I get the test.
00:56:19Duh.
00:56:20Thanks, babe.
00:56:26How's your birthday going?
00:56:28So far so good, babe.
00:56:29What are you doing out and about?
00:56:31Just working on a surprise.
00:56:34I love surprises.
00:56:36You might not love this one.
00:56:37What's in the bag?
00:56:39Let me guess.
00:56:40House rule number 32.
00:56:42No Cheeto dust in the apartment.
00:56:44You're surprising me by letting me break the rules for my birthday.
00:56:47Nope.
00:56:48I'm surprising you with a baby.
00:56:50What?
00:56:51I mean a food baby with how delicious all the food at your party is going to be.
00:56:58Oh, sweet.
00:57:00I can't wait.
00:57:01So what do you want to name our food baby?
00:57:03Dylan Jr.?
00:57:04We are not naming our baby Dylan Jr.
00:57:08You OK?
00:57:09You look a little...
00:57:10What?
00:57:11Bloated?
00:57:12Testy?
00:57:13Fat?
00:57:14Stressed?
00:57:16Sorry.
00:57:18Don't be sorry, babe.
00:57:20I don't want you to kill yourself over this party.
00:57:22I want us all to relax, which is why I'm heading to the liquor store on my lunch break
00:57:26to pick up some libations for this evening.
00:57:28So, what would it be?
00:57:29Lady's choice.
00:57:30Uh, I choose water.
00:57:34What?
00:57:35Yeah, I've just been feeling really like dehydrated lately.
00:57:40I think I'll just stick with good old H2O.
00:57:44Come on, babe.
00:57:46It's my birthday.
00:57:47We're only young once.
00:57:49Before you know it, we'll be getting older, starting a family.
00:57:52Uh, I have to go, Dylan.
00:57:54Emma, why?
00:57:56Did I say something wrong?
00:57:57No.
00:57:59I just meant someday.
00:58:01Like, we're not ready for kids yet.
00:58:03Uh, you know what?
00:58:05You're breaking up.
00:58:07I have to go.
00:58:08I'll talk to you later.
00:58:09Emma, can you hear me?
00:58:11Bye.
00:58:12Bye, Dylan.
00:58:13Bye.
00:58:27I can't do this.
00:58:52Sure you can.
00:58:55Imagine a waterfall flowing from a deep lagoon.
00:58:59No, I mean, I can't have this baby.
00:59:03I'm sorry, Em.
00:59:05I'm just getting my business off the ground, and I'm finally getting my shit together, and now—
00:59:12You don't even know if you're pregnant yet.
00:59:14That's what the test is for.
00:59:18That's what the test is for.
00:59:22Plus, even if you are pregnant, it doesn't mean you can't follow your dreams.
00:59:26You just have to do what the baby into.
00:59:28It's gonna ruin everything.
00:59:30And Dylan—
00:59:31Dylan loves you.
00:59:33Yeah, me.
00:59:35Not me plus a kid.
00:59:37Not now.
00:59:45Okay, I think I'm ready.
00:59:47To be a mom?
00:59:48Shut up.
00:59:49To pee.
00:59:50All right now, go girl.
00:59:52I'm not peeing with you watching.
00:59:54Really?
00:59:55Lame.
00:59:56After everything we've been through?
00:59:59I'll call you back when I have the results.
01:00:01Fine.
01:00:02Good luck, or break a leg.
01:00:04I mean, what do you really say in this situation?
01:00:06I'm not sure.
01:00:08Whatever happens, I'm here for you.
01:00:12Oh, and Em?
01:00:14Yeah?
01:00:15If you are pregnant, can I be the godmom?
01:00:24Okay.
01:00:26Picture a waterfall flowing into a deep lagoon.
01:00:34Picture a waterfall flowing into a deep lagoon.
01:00:41Picture a waterfall flowing into a deep lagoon.
01:00:56Are you lying on the floor?
01:00:59Yeah, it's a new form of yoga.
01:01:03You hate yoga.
01:01:04You always say I look stupid in child's pose.
01:01:08Emma, what's wrong?
01:01:10Don't say nothing.
01:01:16I'm late.
01:01:17Babe, the party's at our house.
01:01:18You can't be late.
01:01:19No, I mean my period.
01:01:22My period is late.
01:01:24Oh.
01:01:26So, what does that mean exactly?
01:01:31What does that mean exactly?
01:01:34It can mean nothing, or...
01:01:37It can mean I'm pregnant.
01:01:41I'm so sorry.
01:01:43I don't know how this happened, and I wasn't buying you Cheetos earlier.
01:01:48I was buying this, and um...
01:01:51I don't know what it says yet, and I'm really scared.
01:01:54And I think it's time to look, and um...
01:01:57I'm so sorry for ruining your birthday, Dylan.
01:01:59Like, I really, really wanted today to be perfect.
01:02:02You've just been so good to me ever since we got together, and...
01:02:06Emma, just calm down.
01:02:08And like, I'm just starting my business.
01:02:10And you've been helping me with that, and we don't have any money.
01:02:14So it's just like the worst possible time ever.
01:02:18I don't know what to do.
01:02:20I'm so scared.
01:02:22Emma Renee Arnaz.
01:02:24You're going to make yourself sick.
01:02:26You need to breathe.
01:02:29See? Everything's going to be okay.
01:02:32How can it possibly be okay?
01:02:35Because no matter what that test says, we're going to figure it out.
01:02:39Together.
01:02:41Because no matter what that test says, we're going to figure it out.
01:02:45Together.
01:02:47But we're not ready.
01:02:49You don't know that.
01:02:51Having a baby is hard, no matter what age you are, or what your job is.
01:02:54But you and me, we can get through anything.
01:03:00I love you, Dylan.
01:03:02I love you, babe.
01:03:06Now go look at that test.
01:03:08We'll do it together.
01:03:25Phew.
01:03:27Oh my god, I'm not pregnant.
01:03:29Oh my god.
01:03:31Yeah.
01:03:33I know you said we could do it, but like I really wasn't ready yet.
01:03:37That would have been one hell of a birthday present.
01:03:40I mean, something I always wanted, just a few years too early.
01:03:43Do you mean it? With me?
01:03:46Of course with you.
01:03:48And of course I mean it.
01:03:50With all my heart.
01:03:54Oh, shit.
01:03:56I have to go.
01:03:58Let me guess, Amanda's already named our baby.
01:04:00Pretty much.