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Taskmaster AU S02E08 2024

Taskmaster AU S02E09 >>> https://dai.ly/x92f96m

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Transcript
00:00Oh
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster, my name's Tom Gleeson and to all of the critics watching
00:42who all season long have alleged that as a host I lack range and that I'm too curmudgeonly
00:49that I suffocate the playful Taskmaster spirit, I say look at this, are you happy?
01:04Competing series long for this, my honeyed spud, are five comedians all of whom have
01:09made verbal commitments to being the least spudded versions of themselves.
01:15They are Anne Edmonds, Jenny Tien, Josh Thomas, Lloyd Langford and Will Anderson.
01:29And sitting by me, if you think the tiny throne he sits on is sad, you should see the bare
01:34mattress on the floor in his bedroom, it's my assistant Tom Cashman.
01:44Now it's time we start, let's do it Tom.
01:46Tonight our contestants have been asked to bring in an object that has really seen some
01:50shit.
01:51Okay, an object that has really seen some shit, okay Josh what do you have?
01:55I brought in Stacey.
01:58So you've been literal there, is that the?
02:04Well it's literal isn't it, she's seen some shit but also she's seen some shit, I mean
02:09that's her wedding night.
02:13Alright Lloyd, what have you got?
02:14I brought in, and she isn't aware of this, Anne's treasured childhood toy, John.
02:27She absolutely tortured the hell out of that.
02:29John had been a bad boy.
02:34So John has spent a lot of time with Anne, are you not worried that if you spend a lot
02:38more time with Anne you'll end up looking the same?
02:45I think it may well be self-inflicted, John did that to himself.
02:52So he's seen a lot of shit, you're going for like the meaning of the expression?
02:55Yes.
02:56Okay, what about you Anne?
02:57I have actually brought in something of Lloyd's, how romantic, and they are he's disgusting,
03:08what he calls his house shorts, they're the worst, they're very stained and like thread
03:17bit around the back and about two weeks into our relationship he just got into shorts and
03:22he's never gotten out of them, he's gone full slops in those shorts.
03:34Alright Jenny, what do you have?
03:36I have brought in a shampoo bottle, yes, so this particular shampoo bottle has witnessed
03:44a break-up of mine, I was in a controlling relationship, where I was in control.
03:54He hated that I kept my shampoo bottles on the floor of the shower and I said it didn't
03:59matter because the contents of the shampoo bottle inside, they're going to be the same
04:03regardless, whereas he insisted it would be dirty if I kept it on the ground, so then
04:08on the grounds of that I broke up with him and I finished all of that shampoo but for
04:14at least a full entire year it has stayed on the floor of my shower, as a reminder that
04:20I have won the break-up.
04:21I'll be the judge of whether you've won or not, Will, what have you brought along that
04:31has seen some shit?
04:33Okay, well I know during this series it hasn't been great for me when I've gone literal to
04:36the task, I thought yeah, toilet paper, that's a good place to start but I've got to elevate
04:41this if I'm going to get any points from Tom this season in one of these prize tasks, so
04:45I have got this printed, it's a specific roll of toilet paper, let's have a look, that's
04:50been printed with a photo of the inside of my bowel, so I had a colonoscopy, I didn't
05:04need it, just did it for the show and they took a photo of my bowel and we rang a printer
05:10but you can get anything printed on toilet paper, it turns out.
05:14Did the printer say anything?
05:16Oh yes, I made him sign a confidentiality agreement.
05:21Alright, I should allocate some points for the prize task, well yeah, I must admit, I
05:26find literal interpretations not as exciting.
05:30It's harder to get more literal than Will's.
05:31No, come on, come on, like no, come on, I literally got my bowel printed on toilet paper,
05:40like I'm like, I actually did have a career before this, I know you've been joking about
05:45it, like every week, like, a man had to see three separate photos, I said choose the one
05:54you want, please.
05:59Okay well, you have pleaded your case and out of the two very literal interpretations,
06:04I'll rank you just above Josh and he's, Josh is on one.
06:09And then out of the others that have seen some shit, I think Jenny's shampoo, it was
06:13a good story but only saw one break up, and I think Anne's shorts have definitely seen
06:18better days and been through a lot, but I think it's Anne's doll that's clearly been
06:23through the grinder, so five points to Lloyd.
06:31Okay well, with the tone already set as irredeemably lowbrow, I might as well say something I've
06:37been meaning to say for a long time, give us a task Tom, you f***.
06:44You can't make a task without breaking a few eggs.
07:00Hello.
07:01Hi Josh.
07:02Hi Lloyd.
07:03T-Bone.
07:04It's nice to see you mate.
07:05Thanks.
07:06Is that a big eggy?
07:07Yeah.
07:08Do you hear that?
07:09I think your task's about to hatch.
07:12Is the task in here?
07:21Okay.
07:22Let's see.
07:23Break the dozen eggs from the furthest distance.
07:26For each egg not broken, your distance will be halved.
07:31Furthest distance wins.
07:33You have 12 minutes or until one or more of your eggs are broken.
07:38Your time starts now.
07:40Where are you going?
07:42I don't know.
07:43Okay.
07:47So, essentially all the eggs have to be broken at the same time, you can't break them one
07:52at a time.
07:53That's right, your time stops as soon as one egg is broken, you've got to break your eggs
07:57from as far away as possible, and you're penalised if you don't break all 12.
08:01Okay, well who's first?
08:03First up we've got Lloyd, Josh and Ann.
08:05I'm thinking of going up on the balcony.
08:08If I went up there, break them all, drop that on it, it wouldn't take very long.
08:13What if I throw them really high up into the air and then run away?
08:16You think?
08:17What I think is not relevant at the moment.
08:19I think if I leave them in the carton that would protect them, that's what the whole
08:22point of a carton is, I've got to take them off the carton.
08:25Okay.
08:26I don't want the lid closing in mid-air and then securing the eggs, so we'll get rid of
08:31that.
08:32I'm going to wrap this box of eggs in this mitt.
08:34Alright, come on guys, come on boys, come on people!
08:39Alright, so now I'm going to take a big run up and I'm going to throw the eggs as far
08:44as possible.
08:45Okay, don't fall over the edge.
08:46I won't, Tom.
08:47Thanks for being such a good friend.
08:49Oh.
08:50You little dickhead.
08:51Alright.
08:52I know I've got this tracksuit on but I'm not the most athletic of people.
09:11And that's it.
09:13Task complete.
09:14That's 12 though.
09:16I'd say so.
09:17How do you think you went?
09:18I still can't understand what the task is, so I just threw the box off a balcony.
09:23Okay.
09:24See ya.
09:25Thanks, Anne.
09:36Um, so, Anne.
09:39Yep.
09:41So.
09:42Yep.
09:43I mean.
09:44All of that.
09:45All of that.
09:49I'm just saying, can you talk us through the padding and throwing it towards, and throwing
09:55it towards a soft lawn?
09:57I thought the task was to not break eggs.
09:59So you broke eight of them.
10:07Clearly I can't read.
10:09Yeah, so I padded up the carton to try and stop the eggs from breaking.
10:16I'm in another show.
10:17It's a different series.
10:19It's series eight and I'm winning.
10:24Okay.
10:25Bit out of character for you, Josh.
10:26It was pretty straightforward.
10:27Just a big old thud and they all seem to smash.
10:29Crack some eggs.
10:30Let's go home.
10:31Yeah.
10:32Usually you're distracted and you wander around and fail.
10:37But this time I didn't.
10:40And let's live in the joy of that.
10:43No, I just, I had my idea.
10:45I thought I'd throw the disc, smash the eggs.
10:47Egg smash.
10:48Bingo bingo.
10:49Bob's your uncle.
10:50Let's go home.
10:51Dingo dongo.
10:53As I always say, dingo dongo.
10:56So Lloyd.
10:57Yes.
10:58How far away do you think you got away from the eggs before they broke?
11:00In hindsight, watching the clip back, not far at all.
11:04So what was the task again?
11:06Break the dozen eggs from the furthest distance.
11:09I would argue that from implies we're measuring the distance
11:12from where you caused the eggs to break to where the eggs broke,
11:16which was pretty much exactly the same spot.
11:19Because he threw them directly up.
11:21No, no, hang on.
11:22By my actions, the eggs broke.
11:28Yeah.
11:29We agree with you.
11:31Yeah, and now I realise that I do not agree with me.
11:40So what distances are we looking at so far?
11:43So Josh's distance was 5.5 metres.
11:46Lloyd's distance is 32 centimetres.
11:52I think you could argue if I get height,
11:54you could argue that you could get from where your hands were
11:58instead of the 32 centimetres.
11:59They're taking it from your feet, but you could take it...
12:01If you're throwing it like this,
12:03then you're getting probably 1.8 metres
12:05from the top of where you lifted it.
12:07Dingo dongo, he's got a point.
12:15Measure that.
12:18Alright, I'm happy to add even 2 metres.
12:20OK.
12:21So we're adding 2 metres to Lloyd's.
12:26That was so nice.
12:28That was generous.
12:29So then we've got Josh has 5.5 metres,
12:31Lloyd has 2 metres and 32 centimetres,
12:34Anne's distance was 11 metres and 32 centimetres.
12:37However, we've got some halvings to do,
12:39so we halve that four times, which leaves us with 70 centimetres.
12:44Right, now, in the midst of this egg-breaking,
12:46we're also going to break the show up with some ads.
12:49I might take the three minutes
12:51to go drown a couple of soft-boileds myself.
12:53See you after this.
13:04Welcome back to Taskmaster,
13:06where five comedians are swinging big
13:08to win Will Anderson's arsehole memorabilia.
13:11Lesser Tom, what is the current task?
13:14Our comedians are trying to break 12 eggs
13:16from the furthest distance,
13:18and how far away the eggs are at the time of breaking
13:20from where they caused that breaking, the better.
13:23Who's up next?
13:24They were both eggs themselves at one point.
13:26It's Jenny and Will.
13:28Could I get someone else to break them for me?
13:30Would that be you breaking them?
13:32Doesn't say it has to be me.
13:33Tom, I'm going to recruit you to be part of this if you don't mind.
13:36OK.
13:37Could you go down to the dock and just break all of these?
13:40OK, but how?
13:41So you take one of these eggs,
13:43and then you chuck it really hard on the ground.
13:45OK.
13:46Make sure the eggshell is absolutely smashed.
13:48And then if it's not smashed,
13:49make sure you step it on with your foot.
13:51OK.
13:52I'm going to put my hand up.
13:53That is when you pick it up.
13:55Hold.
13:56And then I will bring my hand down.
13:58That is correct.
13:59And you will do that over the eggs.
14:00Yes.
14:01At the time.
14:02All right, I'm going to go back.
14:03OK, go, go, go, go, go.
14:04OK.
14:05Faster, Tom!
14:08He did ask several times to clarify the instructions
14:11of breaking the eggs,
14:12so I really hope he'd break all of them.
14:14Otherwise, this might have been a futile request from me.
14:18Tom!
14:19Yeah?
14:20Oh, nice.
14:21We can hear each other.
14:22Yeah.
14:23Regardless of that, I'm going to do the hand signals.
14:25OK.
14:26I wonder if my instructions were clear enough.
14:29You take one of these eggs...
14:31And then you chuck it really hard on the ground.
14:33And then if it's not smashed, make sure you step it on with your foot.
14:36I have trust issues from this show now.
14:40Let's do this!
14:42OK.
14:52They all smashed.
14:54Excellent!
14:59Oh!
15:08Thanks, Will.
15:09Thank you, Tom!
15:13I should have asked him to come back once he was done.
15:22Jenny, some people are allergic to eggs.
15:24Are you allergic to points?
15:27OK, can I just say that I really, in my mind,
15:31thought that I had articulated everything I needed to
15:34to be specific to Tom.
15:35Jenny, you told me to break one egg.
15:39You did, and in your head you thought,
15:41and the rest of them, but you just didn't say that.
15:44Basically, he's really good at following instructions...
15:47Yeah, he did.
15:48..but he's a bastard!
15:51But, Will, you decided that you could use a hand action,
15:55you didn't have to...
15:56I look forward to this moment where I thought you'd make me
16:00justify whether using him was me doing it or not.
16:03So I thought that one way to do that was I had to operate him
16:06as if he were a tool, so...
16:11And so I ran him through hand actions that I was going to make
16:14to actually operate him to get him to do it.
16:16Then it turned out, when I got up on the balcony,
16:19he could just hear me clearly from there.
16:21Alright, well, I think we need some measurements there.
16:24So, Will was 78.3 metres away.
16:27I was 309.5 metres away when I broke that one egg.
16:32Unfortunately, that number needs to be halved 11 times.
16:37Your final score is 15 centimetres.
16:44So that means Jenny gets one point and gets two somehow.
16:47Lloyd with three, Josh with four,
16:49and the winner of the task is Will, with five points!
16:54And how's the episode score looking?
16:56From back to front are Jenny, Josh and then Will,
16:59and on eight points in the lead, it's Lloyd Langford!
17:04OK, let's get into our next task.
17:06This next task is why I've been talking behind every contestant's back.
17:10I thought it would help them if they developed a sensitive back.
17:13It's another team task!
17:25Hello. Hello. Uh-oh.
17:27The time has come, Josh, for you to make love to me.
17:29Oh, it's a special... Oh.
17:31Finally. Is this your bed?
17:33No. Did someone say that?
17:34Yeah, that's what everyone's saying.
17:36That's what everyone on the crew is saying.
17:38Tom has a baby bed and he loves having a baby bed.
17:40And he has to wear protective eye goggles
17:42cos he's afraid of night moths.
17:43Do you want to read it? Yes, I will read it this time.
17:46Shall I do the honours? Go for it.
17:48Correctly guess items placed under the mattress.
17:50One teammate will be your mattress liar.
17:53You must be blindfolded in the lab for the duration of the task.
17:56Other teammates may gather items.
17:58Only one item under the mattress at a time.
18:01Any clues that aren't through a mattress will render an item void.
18:05You have one minute to discuss your roles,
18:07then 20 to collect and guess items.
18:09Most items correctly guessed wins.
18:12Your time starts now.
18:13I'm happy to gather. It's obviously the worst job,
18:15but I'm happy to do it.
18:16Great, cos I don't want to. I want to have a lie down. I'm tired.
18:19How do you feel about lying down?
18:20I'm not sensitive. Like, I can't sense things.
18:22Ten seconds.
18:23OK, I feel like Will lies down. He's a good guest star.
18:27Goodbye.
18:28Wake me up when this is over.
18:31APPLAUSE
18:34OK, so the Discount Wiggles and the Premium Economy Hoolie Doolies
18:37are back.
18:38So one of them has to get on the mattress
18:40and the others just have to put lots of stuff under the mattress
18:43and they identify it. Is that it?
18:45They have to identify things through the mattress.
18:47Through the mattress. Yeah.
18:49So which team is it?
18:50The Discount Wiggles or the Premium Economy Hoolie Doolies?
18:53Like someone who's received very impressive marks
18:55for physical education, it's PEHD.
18:57The Premium Economy Hoolie Doolies.
18:59CHEERING
19:01Just sit up.
19:06It's a guitar.
19:07Yeah. OK, and this one?
19:10A bowling pin.
19:11That is correct.
19:12I've got quite a bit of time, but I'm going to really do some gathering.
19:15Feelings.
19:17Do you not know it?
19:18Is there something under there? Yeah.
19:20A gun. A gun.
19:22No.
19:24Um, a gun.
19:25No.
19:28Oh, um...
19:30A gun.
19:31Incorrect.
19:32You just keep guessing things. I'll be back.
19:34A duck.
19:35OK, I got it.
19:37Did you guess?
19:38Um, a toy car.
19:39Guessed again. Incorrect.
19:41Oh, what else have I seen around? A ball.
19:44Incorrect.
19:45You just keep saying things!
19:47Um, a jug.
19:48Yeah, no.
19:49A fake doll.
19:50Incorrect.
19:51Zebra.
19:52Incorrect.
19:53Lego.
19:54Incorrect.
19:55I can't tell you, but I think it's obvious.
19:57Oh, it's obvious to you cos you can see it.
19:59No!
20:00A salad bowl.
20:03Ah!
20:04Can I tell him to put things under there?
20:06All the information you need is in the task.
20:08Go and get, like, the leg and put it under there.
20:11Don't...
20:14The leg! The leg!
20:15That's correct.
20:16Get the book, get the texters.
20:18Say five things.
20:19Well, if I...
20:20And then when I come back, you say it again.
20:22So five things in the...
20:23Yeah.
20:24Tris, all you have to do is name five things.
20:26Yes!
20:27All you've got to do...
20:28I can't!
20:29You want to call me a stupid bitch, just say it.
20:31I can hear it.
20:32It's almost like it's on the tip of your tongue.
20:34Just say five things!
20:36Just call me a stupid bitch!
20:38Just say it!
20:39You're a stupid bitch.
20:41Texters.
20:42That target off the wall.
20:44A water bottle.
20:45Anything else?
20:46That's it.
20:47You've got one under.
20:48This is the worst task for me.
20:49I'm not that way inclined.
20:50What way inclined?
20:51Just useful to the world, you know?
20:55Texters.
20:56Call it!
20:57OK, now.
20:58A target!
20:59Yes!
21:00Water bottle.
21:01That's correct.
21:02Glue.
21:03A poster.
21:04A scarf.
21:05OK, go.
21:06Some glue.
21:07Yes.
21:08That's correct.
21:09A poster paper.
21:10Yes.
21:11That's correct.
21:12A scarf.
21:13Yes!
21:14Two seconds.
21:15Your shoe!
21:16Get your shoe off!
21:17That's correct.
21:18Your body!
21:19Your body!
21:20That's correct.
21:21Your arse!
21:22Your arse!
21:26Can you tell me, were Lloyd and Will lying on this mattress together?
21:29I can't possibly say.
21:31It's just one of my fantasies.
21:36You came up with a great hack there, Anne.
21:38Yes, well, there wasn't anything in the task that said that I couldn't do that.
21:41So I started to try and remember things around the house.
21:44But even that was hard.
21:46I know.
21:47I thought you came up with a genius hack,
21:49but then you were probably the worst person to be trusted
21:53with carrying out that hack,
21:55given you had to remember lists of things, which is not your forte.
21:58And I kept saying gun and then I couldn't...
22:02You said gun heaps and then you just forgot guns existed from then on.
22:07I can't explain it.
22:08But we had fun.
22:10But also, you two together, one of the other group tasks you did,
22:13you both prank called me, and now you're dragging your mattress out.
22:16It's like you're trying to have a childhood sleepover.
22:19I mean, we were so happy to see each other.
22:21Yeah, it was really nice.
22:22Otherwise it's just...
22:29How many did they guess?
22:3016 correct guesses.
22:32Hey!
22:33Pretty good?
22:34Yeah.
22:36Well, watching that task, which looked like an ad for a psych hospital,
22:40has reminded me that it's time for some other ads.
22:43Watch them while Josh and Anne depart for a special facility
22:46and we'll see you soon.
22:56Good on you for sticking around for more Taskmaster.
22:59What are we watching, Lester-Tom?
23:01The contestants, they're trying to sense items through a mattress.
23:05Next up, it's Just Lloyd.
23:10How do?
23:20Stand within 50cm of a teammate for more than 50% of the duration
23:25of the next task.
23:26If you succeed, your team's points will be doubled.
23:29If you fail, your team's points will be halved.
23:31If your team accuses you of being given a bonus task,
23:34you get no points for the next task.
23:36Your time starts when the next task begins.
23:3950cm?
23:41Like this.
23:43I mean, that's too close to stand next to someone.
23:46Especially, like, I don't really know Will or Jenny.
23:51You'd better get to know them.
23:52What do you reckon that's, about 50cm?
23:58Yep.
23:59That's perfect, OK.
24:00I'll just do that for the task.
24:02You were born for this.
24:03Yep.
24:10So, there's a rat in the ranks.
24:12So, he has to stay really close for more than half of the task.
24:15That's right.
24:16All right, well, Lloyd, are you a sneaky guy?
24:19Yes.
24:22He's having several affairs.
24:27None of which I care about.
24:30And just puts on the goggles.
24:35Give me the gum!
24:38All right, shall we, Lesser Tom?
24:39So, with Jenny and Will being none the wiser,
24:41here is their team effort.
24:43Will, if you could put the goggles on, please.
24:45OK.
24:46If you could sit down there.
24:47OK.
24:48Is he allowed to use his hands?
24:50All the information you need is in the task.
24:52One teammate will be your mattress liar, that's you,
24:54who must be blindfolded in the lab for the duration of the task.
24:57Maybe we should get rid of this blanket
24:59so that he'll feel the mattress more.
25:01You just get up for a sec.
25:03OK, no worries.
25:04I'll go get items.
25:06Yeah, I'll just sit him down for a sec and I'll help you.
25:08OK.
25:09Let's go, let's go, let's go.
25:11Thank you.
25:12Shall we start with these?
25:13Yeah, let's start with these.
25:14Shall I put that in first?
25:15I mean, it feels maybe round?
25:19Is it a shoe?
25:20That is an incorrect guess.
25:22That's all right, good try, Will.
25:23All right.
25:25Is it a hat?
25:26That is an incorrect guess.
25:28We definitely picked the wrong one.
25:30Yeah, sorry.
25:31OK, OK, OK.
25:32That made a sound.
25:33That item is rendered void.
25:35You bastard!
25:36Let's get more.
25:39One of those.
25:40Oh, yeah.
25:41Oh, you clever.
25:44We're back, we're back.
25:45Perch on the end, I got you, mate.
25:47OK.
25:48Good?
25:49OK, so it's bouncy,
25:50it's something that was here around the house,
25:53what would be around here
25:54that would, like, kind of bounce back up and down.
25:56Is it, like, a pump of some kind?
25:59Does it feel like that?
26:00That is an incorrect guess.
26:02There's a new item under the mattress.
26:04Is it a mandolin?
26:06A video game controller.
26:08Jenny's just getting a new item.
26:10Well, it's big.
26:11Correct.
26:12And it's like, is it like a...
26:13No clues.
26:14Is it a drum?
26:15That is an incorrect guess.
26:1735 seconds.
26:18Are we allowed to repeat any items or no?
26:20Oh, we're allowed to repeat items!
26:22Yes.
26:25Is it a guitar?
26:26Yeah!
26:29That is a correct guess.
26:30Woo-hoo!
26:32That's the time.
26:33We were doomed to fail on that one.
26:35Thanks, you three.
26:36Thank you.
26:37Cheers.
26:44OK, so did either of you suspect Lloyd at all?
26:48I couldn't even work out what was under the mattress.
26:51I just thought, this guy really likes teamwork.
26:56I mean, I was honestly the same
26:59because I was doing such a bad job.
27:01You were!
27:02I was like, great idea to get the guy with the bad back to identify.
27:05And it was going so badly.
27:07But then I was reassured by the fact
27:09that occasionally Lloyd would rest his arm.
27:12I was like, oh, he's there for me.
27:14He's not that mad about it.
27:17I'm not going to lie, I didn't know you before the show
27:20and I just thought, this guy is so weird.
27:27Lloyd was standing within 50 centimetres of a team-mate
27:3071% of the time.
27:32Yep, did a great job.
27:35Which was arguably too long
27:37because you only successfully guessed one thing.
27:40Well, I think there's such a huge difference between the two teams.
27:43It has to be 5-5 and 1-1-1.
27:46OK.
27:47Which becomes 2-2-2.
27:48Good.
27:50Good stuff, Lloyd.
27:51All right.
27:52Another task then, LT.
27:54Thank you for calling me your lieutenant.
27:56Now, you and me, baby, ain't nothing but warm-blooded vertebrates.
28:00But putting that aside for a moment,
28:02let's find out something new, like on the Discovery Channel.
28:05MUSIC PLAYS
28:18Hello, Tom.
28:19Hi, Will.
28:20Oh, no, the table's upside down.
28:22Oh, God.
28:23Someone hasn't done their bloody job.
28:25Did you do that?
28:26Maybe.
28:27Back to front and upside down.
28:29It feels like opposite day.
28:31No, it doesn't.
28:35Show a different side of yourself.
28:37Oh, see?
28:38This is the different side of the chair.
28:40This is the different side of the table.
28:42I don't care for it.
28:43The most different side of yourself wins.
28:45You have 20 minutes.
28:47Your time starts now.
28:48A different side of myself.
28:50What is left to give to these people?
28:53What more could the country want from me?
28:55What, you want my butt?
28:57Sorry?
28:58You want my butt?
28:59Do I want to see your arse?
29:00Yeah.
29:01No, thank you.
29:02Balls?
29:05If you didn't get me on butt,
29:07you're going to have trouble winning me over with balls.
29:12Yeah, across the season, our fantastic art department
29:14often do great work with bespoke props that they put there
29:17in the set-up of the task, but towards the end of the season,
29:20they just flip the table and go, f***.
29:23So we just need to see another side, is that it?
29:25That's right.
29:26Alright.
29:27Which personality-hiding two-faced snake is going first?
29:30He's usually from Wales, so maybe now he'll focus on dolphin.
29:34It's Lloyd Langford.
29:36I'll tell you what we could do.
29:38We could go down to the dock, we can skim some stones.
29:42And that shows a different side of yourself?
29:44Yeah, enjoy nature.
29:46You think you've come across so far as someone
29:48who doesn't enjoy nature?
29:49Well, cos you're putting me in nature in a stressful scenario,
29:52you know, I'm counting f***ing socks and whatnot.
29:54Can you skim stones? No.
29:56I'll show you how to do it. Oh, OK.
29:58Come on in.
30:00Oh, this is a perfect spot for it, I reckon.
30:02Birds are singing, sun is shining.
30:05I always kind of go, like, low, like that.
30:09Nice.
30:13Oh, that was good.
30:16Oh!
30:18Not bad.
30:19You are good.
30:20Sometimes, you know, when the knife wobbles in the board,
30:23you just know, you know, you've done it right.
30:25Wow.
30:28Woo!
30:29Woo!
30:36That was really fun.
30:41Oh, I love that.
30:44Just two guys flinging rocks across water.
30:50You know what I loved about it, though,
30:52was it was just relaxing and you were de-stressed
30:55and then you absolutely f***ing nailed one.
30:59So, do you know actually how many times he bounced it?
31:02Yeah, we slowed it down 17 skims.
31:04I've never seen anything like it.
31:06So, as soon as you don't have to compete, you thrive.
31:10Yeah.
31:11The pressure was off and I could finally be myself, you know?
31:15Well, we've only seen one.
31:16We've only seen the other side of Lloyd.
31:18Yes.
31:19And like a pebble leaving the hand of Lloyd to bounce over a pond,
31:22we too must leave your screen and bounce over a break.
31:25But unlike his rocks, these ads aren't skippable.
31:28Back soon.
31:39Welcome back to Taskmaster,
31:41the show that offers both the serenity
31:43of a simple Welsh fella skimming rocks
31:45and the mayhem of an angry Edo screaming about guns.
31:48Cashman, what's happening?
31:50Our contestants are trying to show a different side of themselves.
31:54Up next, we have two Ann's.
31:56It's Ann Edmonds and Ann Dessin.
32:00Hey, Tom.
32:01I'm ready to finally show a different side of myself,
32:04if you're ready to see it.
32:06OK.
32:07I haven't been very charitable so far,
32:09so the idea of maybe doing something really charitable
32:12while having my clothes on backwards...
32:15Hard to wear your shoes backwards, though, isn't it?
32:17That would be the toughest bit about this.
32:19Maybe you're going to have to give us a look at those toes.
32:22I don't want to do that.
32:24OK.
32:34Hurrah!
32:35Stuck on the carpet.
32:37Hi, Tom.
32:38Hi, Will.
32:39Hopefully I'm showing you a side of myself
32:41that you haven't seen before.
32:43I'm the posh version and I love refined things
32:46and I love solving puzzles.
32:48Square dancing and I'm not rude, I don't swear.
32:51I have a very refined...
32:53Oh, shit!
32:56But I've also shown my charitable side
32:58to my other competitors in the Taskmaster crew.
33:01I have bought tickets to all of their shows,
33:04including your show... OK.
33:06..at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
33:08There are screenshots there. Fantastic.
33:10There seems to be another woman attached to you.
33:12Yes, I don't know who she is.
33:14She's just always been there, psychologically and physically.
33:17But, yeah, physically is the basis of my question.
33:20OK.
33:21Do you want to dance?
33:22OK, yeah, maybe come over here.
33:24Why don't you come to me, lover boy?
33:27OK.
33:28Yes, lover boy.
33:29You've got 30 seconds.
33:30That's my charitable side,
33:31but there was one other thing that we talked about.
33:33My feet. Mm-hm.
33:34Well, I've got something special for you, Tom.
33:36This is a folder that says Top Secret.
33:40Wow.
33:41Pretty gross, huh?
33:42Not too bad.
33:43HE SINGS
33:58Real rock-bottom moment, that.
34:00Anyway, off I pop.
34:02OK.
34:03Do you want it back?
34:08BUZZER
34:09Thanks, Tom.
34:13So, Anne, we literally saw a different side of you.
34:15Yes.
34:16You're more refined.
34:17She can solve puzzles.
34:18She reads tasks, takes in the details, takes her time.
34:22But then we also, part of the you that we know,
34:25cos at the end you literally fell apart.
34:27LAUGHTER
34:29APPLAUSE
34:31I mean, that was familiar.
34:35But also we learnt in an earlier episode
34:37that Lesser Tom had not been to a dead ball.
34:39Yes.
34:40So I feel like you were also being lovely to Lesser Tom
34:43cos you've been mean to him for most of the series.
34:46Yeah, and I know that probably most of the women
34:48that Tom's been with are fake.
34:50LAUGHTER
34:53So I wanted to give him that little treat.
34:55Do you mean fake, like, emotionally or literally dolls?
34:58No, like, you have sex with robots.
35:00LAUGHTER
35:03Specifically, yeah.
35:05Thank God I clarify.
35:06LAUGHTER
35:08Now, Will... Yes, Tom?
35:10I don't think it was obvious,
35:12but you actually put your clothes on back the front
35:14but you wear black all the time, so it kind of looked the same.
35:17Look, I noticed that too when it got played back.
35:19But then you also decided you wanted to be quite charitable,
35:22but you described buying tickets
35:24to these professional comedians' shows as a charitable act.
35:27Yeah.
35:28No, it's charitable that I buy the ticket,
35:31because normally I would just ask for a free one.
35:34LAUGHTER
35:36All right.
35:39Well, Cashman, I need a third, second side to see, please.
35:43Well, it's another combination of two people,
35:45the combination of Mum Tian and Dad Tian.
35:47Here's Jenny Tian.
35:48LAUGHTER
35:50All right, what have I not shown?
35:53Lust.
35:54You don't think you've been lustful?
35:55No.
35:57You going to do something romantic?
35:58Yeah!
36:00God, this is going to be uncomfortable.
36:04LAUGHTER
36:07Hi, Jenny.
36:08Tom, I have loved you since the first day I started Taskmaster
36:13and my weary heart cannot bear it any longer.
36:17I must confess to you...
36:20..I love...
36:24LAUGHTER
36:26It's a bit windy.
36:29You!
36:31Will you join me for a wine?
36:33Oh, um, it's all a bit much too soon for me, but I'd love a wine.
36:38Oh, you do love me! Let's go!
36:44Well, hello, my dearest love.
36:48The love is really coming through.
36:50I got you these roses.
36:51Oh, thank you.
36:52You have 90 seconds left.
36:54That's 90 seconds left.
36:55I love you too.
36:57LAUGHTER
37:02Have you made declarations such as these before?
37:04Not quite as majestically pulled off as this.
37:08And I can see that you are romanced.
37:12LAUGHTER
37:16WHISTLE BLOWS
37:17Thanks, Jenny.
37:18Thanks, Tom.
37:24By the way, Jenny, don't feel bad about Lesser Tom.
37:27He often, in intimate moments, blows his whistle a bit too soon.
37:31And that's not a metaphor.
37:34I take this with me everywhere.
37:38I feel like we did see a different side of you.
37:40This was the most uncomfortable task that I did,
37:45cos I had to show this other romantic side to him
37:48and then we had to drink wines together.
37:51All I would say is when you touched him on the shoulder,
37:54there was less affection than when Lloyd was touching me.
37:57LAUGHTER
37:59APPLAUSE
38:03OK, lovers in the air,
38:04but before we delve into more steamy moments,
38:07it's time for a quick romantic interlude.
38:09We'll be playing aggressive footsie after this break.
38:12See you then.
38:23Welcome back to Taskmaster,
38:25where our crud-brained contestants are turning in tasks
38:28that are total crap to win some prizes that have seen some shit.
38:33Lesser Tom, catch the people up.
38:35Our contestants are trying to show a different side of themselves.
38:38So far, we've seen Lloyd be nice,
38:40Jenny be romantic and be posh,
38:42and Will showed me his feet.
38:44OK, so there's one left, yeah?
38:46Last up, instead of a river, will this JT cry us a lake?
38:49It's Josh Thomas.
38:53You've never seen me be motherly.
38:55Oh, no.
38:58You suck on my tit.
39:00Yeah.
39:01Do you have a nappy you could wear?
39:04We could fashion a nappy.
39:05This is what we're doing, this is what I've got.
39:08Oh, no, I don't want this to go on TV.
39:11Well, let's do it, I'll be back.
39:13OK, I'll get a towel.
39:17OK.
39:18You're wearing an Ed Benter's outfit?
39:21Yeah.
39:22Put your little diaper on, go on.
39:24Yeah, let's get weird, come on.
39:25I got safety pins as well.
39:26Good boy.
39:27You're a good little boy.
39:28Hey, sweetheart, let me help you with that.
39:30Oh, you're going to...?
39:31Yeah, you're a good, brave boy, aren't you?
39:34Three minutes left.
39:36Don't rush, Mummy.
39:37You'll get it when you get it.
39:38You've always been like this.
39:40So you just...
39:42Now then, have...
39:43Shh, good boy.
39:44So what, I jump down here?
39:46Yeah, you've got to get in there.
39:47Come here.
39:48Good boy.
39:50Be serious.
39:51OK, sorry.
39:52You've got to be serious.
39:55Sorry.
39:56OK, good boy.
39:58Good, brave boy.
39:59You're going to grow up to be a lawyer.
40:01Yeah, you're not going to do anything to embarrass me,
40:03cos you're a good, smart, good, brave boy.
40:06Did you ever get milk?
40:08I want you to get some milk.
40:16I don't think you'll lick it off of me.
40:20Oh, it's just...
40:21Oh, it's going down my balls.
40:24I'll burp you now.
40:25OK.
40:28Good boy.
40:29You're going to be a good, smart lawyer.
40:31Yeah.
40:32I do feel a bit disappointed that you didn't get to suck all any milk.
40:36This one's just air.
40:38Do you think Ann Edmonds is going to be mad?
40:40Yeah.
40:44What's weird is, at the end of the day,
40:46it doesn't feel like it was a different side of me.
40:49I feel like I've learnt a lot about you.
40:51I feel like I've learnt a lot about me.
41:01Josh, I think that was great.
41:03That's what you like.
41:04Yeah.
41:05I think you did really well.
41:07I think you showed a different side of you.
41:09You were funny.
41:13I mean, I have questions.
41:15Oh, yeah.
41:16Why are you dressed as me?
41:18Because you're a mum?
41:20Yeah, fair enough.
41:21Why?
41:22I have absolutely nothing to add.
41:26Over the years, I've done a lot of stuff on TV,
41:29a lot of weird stuff, and that was the idea I had,
41:34and then we did it, didn't we?
41:36And I'm glad you did.
41:38Oh, thanks.
41:39It was beautiful.
41:41And the closest that Tom's come to a real woman.
41:45Yeah.
41:49I guess I should come up with some scores.
41:51Yeah.
41:52Alright, well, that's pretty easy.
41:53Will tried to show a different side,
41:55put his clothes on backwards, and it looked the same.
41:57So that's one point.
41:59Two points to Anne, because I did enjoy seeing that other side,
42:02then you fell apart, which was you back to yourself.
42:05Three points to Jenny for that romantic liaison.
42:09Four points to Lloyd,
42:10and it's mostly just for that stone that skims heaps.
42:14But because it was really funny,
42:16five points to Josh Thomas for the absolute peak of his comedy career.
42:24Alright, so what do those scores do for the episode scores?
42:27Well, Jenny needs some nurturing down on nine points.
42:30Anne, Will and Lloyd have middle child syndrome at the moment,
42:32but the matriarch is Josh Thomas with 15 points.
42:37OK.
42:38With only the live cast left,
42:40it's time for you lot to scoot up those stairs for the big finale.
42:48What are we looking at, Lesser Tom?
42:50I'll let Josh read the task.
42:51Oh, it's me.
42:54Taking turns in your teams, blow bubbles,
42:57then fan them through the hoop.
42:58On an attacking turn, one team-mate must blow bubbles,
43:01using one breath only from the spot.
43:04They must then fan the bubbles through the hoop.
43:06The defending team can defend their goal
43:08only by throwing single peas from the sideline.
43:10Most bubble goals wins.
43:12The team of three are going to be blowing a bubble first.
43:17Round one.
43:32Oh, no.
43:38Oh, I got one.
43:43This is almost as exciting as pebble skimming.
43:53Just focus on one.
43:55I should... I should...
43:56I've just been trying to keep them in the air.
43:58I didn't sort of... I'm not good at this.
44:00Oh, no. Oh, no.
44:01Focus on that one.
44:02No.
44:07Stop it!
44:11That one, that one, that one!
44:19Please swap roles.
44:21Absolute bastard!
44:23Oh, my God!
44:26How could you?!
44:29Wooly Doolies, please step up.
44:32I'm trying to get out.
44:39Come on, Wooly!
44:41Come on, Mummy!
44:42Come on, Mummy!
44:43Come on, Mummy!
44:44Come on, Mummy!
44:45Come on, Mummy!
44:46Come on, Mummy!
44:47Come on, Mummy!
44:48Come on, Mummy!
44:49Come on, Mummy!
44:56That was incredible, though.
44:59Wiggles, please step up to the plate.
45:00Oh, no.
45:01I'm scared to blow.
45:03WHISTLE BLOWS
45:17WHISTLE BLOWS
45:18Am I the blower?
45:19You're the blower, yeah.
45:20WHISTLE BLOWS
45:28SHE SCREAMS
45:29SHE SCREAMS
45:32WHISTLE BLOWS
45:38All right, like a broken soda stream,
45:41we have to take a break to recharge our bubbles.
45:44See you after this.
45:55Welcome back to Taskmaster,
45:57we're in our final moments before discovering the winner.
46:00Lesser Tom, what happened before the break?
46:03Our contestants ignored the snap,
46:05ignored the crackle and focused on the pop.
46:07Yeah, I think we've got the winning moment.
46:09We can have another look at it.
46:17I should clarify, too,
46:18there was nothing in the rules that said
46:20that you couldn't move the spot.
46:21Yes, I think it was a bit of a hand of God moment.
46:25But, yeah, the premium economy hoolidoolies were playing dirty
46:29and I liked it.
46:30But, yeah, it was just...
46:32It more felt like a 1-0 win at a major World Cup event,
46:35so I think I'm going to allocate 1-1-0-0-0.
46:38OK.
46:41It's a win.
46:44And the question on the tip of everyone's Michael Bublé
46:47is who is the winner?
46:48Well, it was a tight one,
46:49but the winner is Mother Superior herself.
46:51It's Josh Thomas for 16 points!
46:54OK.
46:57Congratulations, Josh.
46:59Please go and collect your prizes
47:01and your complimentary adult diapers.
47:05Now, we're at the end of episode eight.
47:07How about an update on the season score?
47:09Our lovely lovers are loving it at the top and in second,
47:12but Lloyd has a three-point lead with 127 points over the season.
47:19And there we have it.
47:20Eight episodes down and what have we learnt?
47:23We learnt that Anne's outfit looks good on a mannequin
47:26but even better on Josh.
47:28We learnt that Lloyd loves skipping stones
47:30almost as much as he loves skipping out on his family
47:33to have torrid affairs.
47:35And Will taught us way more than we wanted to know
47:38about what the inside of his beast hole looks like.
47:43Congrats once more to our winner, Josh,
47:45and goodnight to all you winners.
47:50CHEERING
48:04We're back!
48:05Oh, that's not good at all.
48:07I can see you judging me.
48:08Mummy's got a secret.
48:10This is fun.
48:11What are you failing as you're succeeding?
48:15This is going to be so rude.
48:17It's a lot to take in.