Wednesday Night Live 10 July 2024
Today's episode introduced peacefulparenting.com and the upcoming condensed Peaceful Parenting book. We discussed anarcho-capitalism, challenges for intelligent individuals in society, sustainable business practices, and skepticism towards mainstream narratives like the COVID vaccine. Empowering women to trust their instincts and assertively navigate professional scenarios, we emphasized preparedness, self-defense, and shedding guilt for attractiveness.
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!
Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
Today's episode introduced peacefulparenting.com and the upcoming condensed Peaceful Parenting book. We discussed anarcho-capitalism, challenges for intelligent individuals in society, sustainable business practices, and skepticism towards mainstream narratives like the COVID vaccine. Empowering women to trust their instincts and assertively navigate professional scenarios, we emphasized preparedness, self-defense, and shedding guilt for attractiveness.
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!
Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00:00Good evening, good evening, welcome to 10th of July 2024, 7 and change PM, Wednesday night
00:00:06live with me and you and the world all the way down the line.
00:00:15Welcome to a thousand years in the future.
00:00:18It will pass and come to be, just as everything in your past has passed and come to be.
00:00:25All right, let's get to your questions, comments.
00:00:27You can donate here.
00:00:28Of course, you can donate on the app, here on Locals, here on Rumble, freedom.com slash
00:00:34donate as well as all gratefully appreciated to keep the show running and humming.
00:00:41The website peacefulparenting.com, the website has gone live this morning.
00:00:46We finalized the logo and the cover and I edited the books.
00:00:49There was one or two little changes to make in the books and I put the new cover in so
00:00:54you can feel free to spread this to whoever you want, peacefulparenting.com, peacefulparenting.com.
00:01:01Easy to remember, I think, and I hope that you will do that and yeah, freedom.com slash
00:01:08donate.
00:01:09The book is free.
00:01:10I'm very close to finishing the short version, that's what I was working on this afternoon
00:01:17and the short version, which is, ah, let's find out here, shall we?
00:01:25What is the short version?
00:01:28How long is the short version?
00:01:31It's quite a bit shorter, to put it mildly.
00:01:35So full version is 460 pages, something like that, and the shortened version is, what do
00:01:43we got here, 192 pages.
00:01:47So it's obviously two-thirds, two-fifths, something like that, but it's a lot shorter,
00:01:53a lot more concise and, you know, it's like mainlining highly cocaine-derivative philosophy.
00:02:00There's no padding, not that the book has much padding at all, it's pretty lean.
00:02:04But this is, I actually think it's tougher in a sense to read the shorter version because
00:02:08it's very intense.
00:02:10But I did want the short version to be available, hopefully it will be available starting this
00:02:15weekend, the condensed, condensed version of Peaceful Parenting.
00:02:21So thank you again, it's been quite a project.
00:02:24It started over a year ago with the book and it has been a rough process and I'll be glad
00:02:32to get this beast behind me, I'll tell you that.
00:02:34All right.
00:02:35Hi gentlemen!
00:02:36How do you see the evolution of anarcho-capitalism in the coming years?
00:02:39We need an amount of bad feedback, but fiat currency doesn't give that until on the very
00:02:45last.
00:02:46Maybe South America, like Argentina, El Salvador, could expose their success like a beacon to
00:02:52the world to see.
00:02:53Yeah, it's tough, man.
00:02:56I mean, smart people all throughout history have always tried to keep one step ahead of
00:03:04the violent, retarded horde that is nipping at our heels for making them feel stupid.
00:03:10So, it is a tough life for the smart people, you know, everyone's, oh, the minorities,
00:03:17take care of the minorities.
00:03:18You know, I gotta tell you, the minority of smart people are often the most persecuted
00:03:24in the world, especially when people want the unearned, right?
00:03:29They want the unearned so the sophists will sell them all these justifications for getting
00:03:35what they did not earn and feeling they're somehow deserving of that which they did
00:03:44not earn.
00:03:46And the way that you sell people on stealing is you call them victims.
00:03:55You call them victims and then they feel justified in stealing.
00:04:02It's really, really sad and really, really common.
00:04:05Now, of course, if you're going to tell people that they've been stolen from, you have to
00:04:09tell them who's done the stealing.
00:04:12It always seems to be the smart, intelligent, creative, and productive who are the scapegoats
00:04:15for the sophists to pin the theft that allows for the fake theft, the illusory theft that
00:04:21ends up allowing for the real theft.
00:04:23Well, it's always the smarties among us who get blamed so that the sophists can skim
00:04:30off the infinite theft of pseudo-victim resentment.
00:04:37Sad but true.
00:04:38Sad but true.
00:04:39So the smart people, the productive people will end up fleeing the violent and demented
00:04:48horde to some new place and then they'll be chased down there and everyone will say, gosh,
00:04:53we hate those productive people.
00:04:55And then what will happen is the productive people will leave and everybody will chase
00:05:00after them and say, we hate you so much we can't stand living without you.
00:05:07I love you.
00:05:09I hate you.
00:05:11I hate you.
00:05:12Don't leave me.
00:05:13You're the worst person ever.
00:05:14I can't live without you.
00:05:15I mean, it's all.
00:05:16I mean, the mob is a borderline personality disorder masquerading as a democracy.
00:05:21All right.
00:05:23All these and other coinable phrases are available on this live stream tonight.
00:05:27All right.
00:05:28Let's see here.
00:05:30A solution of anarcho-capitalism?
00:05:31Yeah, for sure.
00:05:32There'll be a big market for the smart people.
00:05:34There'll be a haven for the smart people.
00:05:36And then the dumb people will view the collapse as being somehow the smart people's fault.
00:05:42Well, we hate you.
00:05:43We wish you were gone.
00:05:44Oh, you're gone.
00:05:45We hate you because you left.
00:05:46And now it's all just, I don't know.
00:05:49I don't even know what the solution to this is other than peaceful parenting, right?
00:05:54All right.
00:05:55Let's see here.
00:05:59A few episodes ago, you talked about avoiding businesses where the boss or owner calls it
00:06:04a family.
00:06:05Would you mind explaining it a bit more?
00:06:11So in general, an economic organization that pretends to be a family is an exploitive cult
00:06:21that seeks to underpay you by trading in on isolation in return for pretend community.
00:06:32And it's really sad.
00:06:35We're a family here.
00:06:36It's like, no, you're really not.
00:06:39You're a corporation.
00:06:40You're a business.
00:06:42You can like each other.
00:06:43I like to be friends with the people that I work with, and I've always had good relationships
00:06:47with the people that I work with.
00:06:49But I wouldn't say we're a family, because a family is a biological unit.
00:06:55A corporation is an economic unit.
00:06:59So generally...
00:07:03So there's a very interesting debate that one of my favorite movies is called Room with
00:07:10a View.
00:07:11The original novel is by gay 19th century writer E.M.
00:07:18Forster.
00:07:19Merchant Ivory made the movie, and it's an amazing movie.
00:07:25What I love about the movie is it's the end of the Edwardian era.
00:07:29So this movie is set prior to the opening of World War I.
00:07:32It's not in events leading up to World War I.
00:07:35But what I love about this movie is that the biggest challenges were not global warming,
00:07:44demographic disaster, national debt.
00:07:46The biggest, because there's been almost a century of peace in Western Europe.
00:07:49Unprecedented, right?
00:07:50The Industrial Revolution was...
00:07:53Franco-Prussian War and so on.
00:07:54But for the most part in Western Europe, after the fall of Napoleon in 1815 to the start
00:07:59of the First World War in 1914, it had a century of relative peace.
00:08:04So the novel is about the challenges of authenticity, of self-actualization, of honesty, of curiosity,
00:08:12and of marrying the wrong person, all deeply human and non-catastrophe concerns.
00:08:23Now in it, there is, of course, the interesting challenge of atheism versus Christianity.
00:08:31And the way this manifests is...
00:08:35I won't go into the details of the story because you should just watch the movie.
00:08:39It's a beautiful movie.
00:08:43And in the movie, there is a priest who's giving a tour of a cathedral.
00:08:55And the priest says, the workers were motivated by a special kind of faith.
00:09:04And the atheist says, that just means they weren't paid properly.
00:09:13That is a...
00:09:14I mean, what a way to encapsulate two different views of the world, right?
00:09:18Because you can make a case for both.
00:09:20I don't care that much about the money.
00:09:22I want to create the glory of God, right?
00:09:26So the workers might have accepted less pay to create this beautiful cathedral.
00:09:29On the other hand, saying that you're building it for the glory of God is a way to get them
00:09:35to accept lower wages.
00:09:39Both perspectives can be valid, and both perspectives have a great deal of power in them.
00:09:44Now, if somebody in the business world says, welcome to our family, well, it's clearly
00:09:54not a family.
00:09:56So why would he say that?
00:09:57Because he's hoping to plug into the kind of loyalty and sacrifice you would have for
00:10:00your blood relations to a mere legal economic entity.
00:10:07Business is not family.
00:10:11Business is not family.
00:10:13You make sacrifices for family because they're blood.
00:10:21You don't make sacrifices for business because that's bad business.
00:10:26You know, there are so many businesses that float along in this universe entirely sustained
00:10:32by ridiculous amounts of overwork, right?
00:10:38This is the case where, you know, the founder is working the jobs of three people and doesn't
00:10:45take any vacations and so on, and the business is making a small profit, but the business
00:10:50is subsidized by workaholism.
00:10:53It is not a viable economic entity.
00:10:56In the same way that, I guess you could stay up for three days straight if you take a lot
00:11:00of cocaine, but it's not a sustainable—hey, I don't need sleep, I could be a third more
00:11:04productive.
00:11:05As you all know, it's not sustainable, right?
00:11:08It's not sustainable.
00:11:09In the same way that a relationship can be sustained by sexual activity, but it's not
00:11:17sustainable solely on the basis of sexual activity, because eventually you get disgusted
00:11:21at using each other's flesh as masturbatory devices to the exclusion of any pleasure in
00:11:26the personality.
00:11:32You have to look for these mad people who prop up and pretend that there's an economically
00:11:37viable entity because of overwork.
00:11:40Now if somebody says, join our family, what they're saying is, I view this business as
00:11:46my family, which means I'll sacrifice almost anything for it, which means that it is likely
00:11:53subsidized by workaholism, which means bad decisions can be made and they don't show
00:12:01up too well.
00:12:05If you're on some drug that produces euphoria, you make bad decisions, they don't show up
00:12:10too well because you're drugged by the euphoria.
00:12:14Now I'm fully aware that the criticisms of treating a business as a calling, as an ideal,
00:12:26as more than just pure economic entities, could absolutely be leveled at me.
00:12:30Obviously, that's pretty clear.
00:12:32But I don't view what I do as a business, obviously I do have to make money, I have
00:12:36to pay bills and so on.
00:12:38I don't view what I do as a business, I mean obviously technically it is, but I'm just
00:12:43telling you my view from the inside.
00:12:48You know when I took a 75% pay cut, leaving the corporate world to do this podcast, I
00:12:56did not view that as I'm not being paid properly, I viewed that as building a cathedral.
00:13:04So I was willing to accept less money in order to build a cathedral.
00:13:09The world needed philosophy more than it needed another software entrepreneur or executive.
00:13:17That argument was obviously completely credible to me and close to 20 years later remains
00:13:23completely credible to me.
00:13:26What does the world need more of, software or philosophy, code or virtue?
00:13:35Pretty easy.
00:13:36So when a business is sustained through overwork, it is not a long-lasting business because
00:13:45investors, you know, you need to grow the business and if the investors come in and
00:13:48they say how is this business sustained and the founder says it's sustained by me working
00:13:53a hundred hours a week and they say okay well what's your profit margin, 4%.
00:13:57It's like okay well if you had to hire two other people to do your work, would you make
00:14:03any money?
00:14:04No.
00:14:05Well then you are burning yourself out to keep something afloat that can't stay afloat
00:14:10without your burnout and if that's one of the signs of that is somebody refers to it
00:14:14as a family, right.
00:14:17I mean a business is not a family.
00:14:18If your family members call and you love your family members and they need something
00:14:24from you that's really really important, I mean you'll do anything.
00:14:27You'll pay any price, bear any burden, go to the ends of the earth to help them out.
00:14:30It's not a business.
00:14:31If your brother you love dearly needs a kidney, you'll give him a kidney.
00:14:34If you're a match, if your boss needs a kidney, you're not giving him a kidney.
00:14:37It's not a family, right.
00:14:41I mean I've had family members when they had kids, I literally moved in for a week or two
00:14:45at the beginning to help them out.
00:14:46I'm not going to do that with my boss nor would I expect anyone who works with me to
00:14:50do that for me.
00:14:53So family is an invitation to create, like the word family in business generally is an
00:14:58invitation to create the illusion of a successful business through manic amounts of overwork
00:15:07and it means that people are avoiding making difficult decisions and covering up poor management
00:15:13choices or poor business planning just with crazy amounts of work.
00:15:18It's not sustainable and of course it's one of the reasons why the birth rate goes down
00:15:21too is that people end up with these crazy overwork scenarios which are propping up non-viable
00:15:25businesses and they can't have families because they don't have any time.
00:15:29So all right.
00:15:32Love this show.
00:15:33Thank you thank you thank you.
00:15:34How am I feeling Steph?
00:15:36Thank you for the question.
00:15:39Not bad.
00:15:40I've been going through these odd waves of a little bit of tiredness here and there over
00:15:43the last couple weeks and I certainly have a lot of balls in the air.
00:15:48I like a combination of gymnastics and Michael Flatley's nut banging Lord of the Dance.
00:15:56So I have a lot of balls in the air.
00:15:57I'll be happy when this sort of particular phase of significant work is over.
00:16:01I really got to finish this.
00:16:02I really want to finish this book and get it done and I've been doing a fair number
00:16:06of the paid call-ins which I find fascinating.
00:16:10I really do.
00:16:12I really find them fascinating because not having to worry about, not worry, not having
00:16:17to be concerned with what goes public or not right because they're not public at all.
00:16:21And so you know we can go names, dates, places.
00:16:23I went deep into dollar value finances for a caller or two and I can really just throw
00:16:29in a sense throw caution to the winds and be sort of really direct and there's a certain
00:16:35amount.
00:16:36I don't have to process the shows afterwards and so on because it's just a conversation.
00:16:39So I've been doing those and those have been good although they can be quite intense, well
00:16:43they generally are very intense.
00:16:47And of course if you want one of those feel free to book.
00:16:50We have to book a little ways down the road at the moment but feel free to book it now
00:16:53rather than later.
00:16:54I think my prices are going to go up because there's too much demand which is a signal
00:16:58that the price is too low in general.
00:17:00So you can go to freedomain.com slash call to set one of those up of course.
00:17:05So yeah, I needed to do a little bit of hamster wheeling to make some extra money and that's
00:17:10been very helpful and good for the show as a whole.
00:17:13And I do of course regret that the calls don't go anywhere as far as other people's consumption
00:17:18but you know that's the price that's needed to you know keep the company going.
00:17:24So because you guys aren't behaving like my family, well thank goodness at least my family
00:17:30is family of origin.
00:17:32So I'm a little tired but happy and content that tomorrow I should be finished the short
00:17:41version of the Peaceful Parenting book which I've really wanted to do and then I'm going
00:17:44to try and take it a little bit easy for a while because it has been, oh yeah, any updates
00:17:48on that Florida meetup?
00:17:49Yeah we're kind of looking, okay when is the U.S. election?
00:18:00I know it's November, but when?
00:18:06Key dates!
00:18:07Oh god.
00:18:08Oh god.
00:18:095th of November, so yeah I wouldn't want to do it before the election for you know various
00:18:17reasons.
00:18:19So it probably will be late November, early December.
00:18:25It will be in mid-Florida and I would love to meet everyone.
00:18:32Absolutely thrilled, I mean we used to do these all the time.
00:18:34So I would love to meet everyone.
00:18:36It probably would be a Friday night, Saturday, Sunday kind of deal and the process will be
00:18:43in general just for those of you who are interested I've done a bunch of event planning as a whole
00:18:46so the general approach will be get a number of people to indicate whether they're interested
00:18:56to find out if it's even viable like if only five people are available or want to come
00:18:59then we won't do it.
00:19:01See how many people are available and then I have to figure out the price and I'd obviously
00:19:04like to keep the price as low as possible but I also have to be responsible to the finances
00:19:08so sort of figure that out from there.
00:19:11All right, what have we got here, questions, comments, issues, challenges, treat us like
00:19:22family but we'll let you off without notice, yeah yeah for sure.
00:19:30All right let me get here.
00:19:35I worked as part of a quote family business, some of the worst management practices I've
00:19:38ever experienced in my life, it's a good buzz phrase to make people feel good, yeah yeah.
00:19:45Steph what do you think is up with nation states selling off huge amounts of Bitcoin?
00:19:50Well A of course I don't know and you're saying what do I think so I don't know but my guess
00:19:55is something like this that the because Bitcoin is traceable governments can't sell like people
00:20:02in government can't sell it and pocket the profits so what they do is they convert it
00:20:06to fiat which is probably a whole lot easier to skim so I think that they have to do that.
00:20:21I worked in a restaurant owned by a Greek family, yeah Greeks are big into the restaurant
00:20:25business right, believe me you don't want to be in that family lol yeah yeah.
00:20:32You know this is relevant to what I was hoping to ask, thank you Steph and thank you for
00:20:35asking the question, Dylan yeah good good.
00:20:39Making every employee do the work of one or more full-time employees on top of their own
00:20:42full-time work is not a long-term solution to the problem of too much work for those
00:20:46available to handle it.
00:20:47If the budget cannot handle it rethink the structure of the business, yes.
00:20:50Yeah people overwork and under charge in order to pretend they have a business and
00:20:55it's not good, it's not real, aren't at least 50% of jobs kind of BS anyway no offense to
00:21:08half of you hey hey stop talking about HR.
00:21:12I worked in an HR department for a couple summers when I was a student and it was really
00:21:19really funny, nobody did anything, HR is an absolute absolute it's an absolute subsidy
00:21:30to women on their way to becoming cat lovers, HR because we need good engineers.
00:21:43So any other questions comments issues let me just check over here glad you're feeling
00:21:50well can you still see rumble comments yes yes I can I can see rumble comments in fact
00:21:56let me go straight over to rumble and make sure I can see directly yes I can so I do
00:22:06have a topic as you can well imagine see you in Florida Steph yeah be good be good I mean
00:22:12it's really fun having everyone together right so I do have comments listening to The God
00:22:25of Atheists and now when you mention crappy managers I immediately think of Davey B yeah
00:22:31yes yes yes that's my novel The God of Atheists which talks about corruption in three fields
00:22:38academia business and music the music industry and it's one of my favorite novels
00:22:45it's one that I've written I mean it's one of my favorite novels period but
00:22:49of the novels that I've written it's one of my favorite
00:22:56all right so I'll just wait for a second more if you all have questions
00:23:01comments issues challenges criticisms whatever is on your mind I will be happy to answer as
00:23:09best I can or I do have a topic somebody says I have the type of job where they pretend that
00:23:16paying a starvation wage just makes them a good employer and we pretend we care about the job and
00:23:20then yeah yeah says yeah the restaurant I'm working for is finally up and running and I'm
00:23:24not getting paid where I should be but I also realize it's not a great time to ask for an
00:23:27increase until everything is sorted yeah yeah for sure I mean there's nothing wrong with you
00:23:32know you would you start your business yeah you know the founders work for free it's called sweat
00:23:36equity right so the equity is the amount of work that you put in not the money right so I get all
00:23:41of that and I think that's all reasonable and good stuff so I have no problem with putting in extra
00:23:48work to start with but at some point it does have to be sustainable right at some point it actually
00:23:52has to be a sustainable business otherwise you are you are LARPing right you're you're LARPing
00:24:01as a business owner right all right let me just check here so my topics now this is going to
00:24:10sound like politics but it's not really I do dip into the political world as a consumer from time
00:24:20to time and of course I saw what happened with the recent elections in England and in France
00:24:35not great
00:24:39not great
00:24:41and I always try to you know when I was a kid I used to fingertip the edges of my sheets you
00:24:54know roll them and fingertip them when I was trying to go to sleep or going to sleep and
00:24:58I'd always have a good sense I sort of roll my fingers down the edge of the sheets and I'd always
00:25:03have a good sense always have a really good instinct as to when the end of the sheet was
00:25:06coming to the end I knew it I knew it like a countdown coming to the end and I've always been
00:25:13fascinated at tracing back causality what is the cause and of course you know you you go back and
00:25:22cause you go back and cause you go back and cause and you can always find a cause before the cause
00:25:27right and a lot of times I'll sort of settle on well when the west ended up with the government
00:25:33running the educational system it was just a matter of time until right things went so in
00:25:39America they they let the government take over the educational system because the Protestants
00:25:43were worried about all the Catholics coming in and they wanted to retain American values
00:25:47so they at least which was founded a lot on Protestantism and so they let the government
00:25:52take over because they wanted to preserve American values and now 150 plus years later I suppose
00:25:57it's being used to undermine sort of and destroy these these values right
00:26:04so I'm trying to figure out so what is the cause of people denying reality
00:26:13now again we can say parenting and and education and so on but let me let me ask you this
00:26:22have you ever
00:26:23ever this is a pattern right has it ever happened to you that you meet
00:26:32say a couple you meet a couple we can call them Bob and Alice right so you meet a couple and
00:26:46they're super nice positive friendly happy successful or whatever it is right
00:26:51and they seem interesting and fun and positive and all of that
00:26:59it could be a couple could be an individual whatever it is right
00:27:03and if you're anything like me I assume that we share some things in common then what you do
00:27:13I call it releasing the scouts right you release the scouts which is the normie test
00:27:21it's the NPC test right
00:27:26so I don't know they say something that's obviously mainstream media you know propaganda
00:27:32whatever it is right and you just express some you know I'm not sure that was totally the case
00:27:42or whatever it is right like some some nonsense so Trump told people to drink bleach it's like
00:27:49I don't think that was actually I don't think that was the whole story right
00:27:54you know like because Trump talked about this ultraviolet light going into veins so it's
00:27:58actually a real thing right he just knew more about it and people were like he's
00:28:01telling people to drink disinfect whatever it was like and so that there's some normie thing
00:28:05will come up and or you know when people say well the rich just they don't rich don't pay
00:28:15much tax it's like whatever like something something that just tossed out and I personally
00:28:21I'm not like you know here's the list and here's why you're wrong and here's all the facts right
00:28:25I'm not that guy although it's tempting but what I will do is I will say uh well I'm not sure that's
00:28:33totally I mean I'm I've heard different I'm not sure it's totally the case it's a complicated
00:28:37topic but you know whatever it is right or you know if people say I don't know you vote for a
00:28:46candidate x and it's the end of democracy and it's like so you can't vote for candidate x
00:28:53you have to vote for candidate y so if you absolutely cannot vote for this candidate
00:29:00and that's because otherwise that's the end of democracy but if you can only vote for one
00:29:03candidate it's not really a democracy right I mean because you're supposed to have a choice
00:29:07right so just little things right so you put out these little little scouts right
00:29:14and you see what happens to the scouts now you know I'm pretty good at communicating stuff and
00:29:19so you know if somebody has some normie talking point right global warming is going to kill us
00:29:23all I'm like and I said yeah listen I mean I understand a lot of people who think it's really
00:29:27dangerous I you know obviously don't know the science in any particular detail but I am old
00:29:32enough to have heard about all of this stuff for about 45 years right about about about 45 years
00:29:44and of course if people were really concerned about co2 then you know the first thing we do is
00:29:48have a lot of nuclear power you know like France does and so on right so just little things right
00:29:54not some big thing right so you get the NPC stuff now they might be NPCing
00:30:02because they think you're an NPC they might be sending out scouts I don't know right
00:30:10so you send out a couple of scouts
00:30:11and sometimes they come back in one piece sometimes sometimes they come back in one piece
00:30:26but a lot of times
00:30:30you see people's faces freeze over
00:30:35it's literally like watching Gollum's mood flips or his personality flips right and I remember when
00:30:40I was doing Sunset in the Golden State my sort of three plus hour documentary on California
00:30:45I was talking to a guy on the street brought up some questions about immigration like you could
00:30:50just see whoa trigger it right and then this danger Will Robinson danger danger the silence
00:30:57are here and then you just get static from the scouts and maybe they'll be like what's going on
00:31:02get static from the scouts and maybe they'll be shipped shipped back to you in a bag or maybe not
00:31:06at all so the people who come off super friendly and then turned super cold when you don't fall
00:31:20in ideological lockstep you know I mean I certainly had this as well I certainly had this as well
00:31:30you know COVID was crazy that I mean did you guys not you must have had this experience with COVID right
00:31:40I mean I had this back in the day with weapons of mass destruction right in in in Iraq it's like
00:31:47well yeah I accept that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq because America sold
00:31:50them I mean they have the receipts they know that they're there right but I do remember saying okay
00:31:58so a lot of Saudis and and well an Afghani or two but there weren't any Iraqis so why are they
00:32:04attacking you like you know just these kind of what what did Libya do that was so terrible that
00:32:08kind of stuff right well they had to open up Libya for the migrants right so just just questions I
00:32:17mean I've always had these kinds of questions right and I remember this with the with the
00:32:26vaccine right the COVID vaccine or as they call it the vaccine right people are like but they say
00:32:32it's safe and effective and I'm like hey I'm not a scientist I don't know a couple of warning signs
00:32:39for me just a couple number one they can't possibly know long-term effects after a couple
00:32:46of months that's just a fact right then there's you you no matter how much money you throw at
00:32:51something you can't shrink time right otherwise rich people would live forever right so you know
00:32:57they can't possibly know the long-term effects I mean that's just a fact right it's number one
00:33:01number two I'm a little troubled that they're demanding and this is way back in the day right
00:33:05I mean I have the shows about all of this right I said I'm a little troubled that they're demanding
00:33:10a compute complete immunity from liability that does not signal confidence in your product right
00:33:19all right it's totally safe totally effective and we're absolutely demanding you can't sue
00:33:26us for negative effects it's like that's uh not not ideal not ideal uh number three
00:33:37can we get some data can you release like if it's safe and effective just release the data
00:33:41let all of the internet autists go over it and for the fine-tooth comb and Naomi
00:33:45Wolf's entire army can go over like just release the data like why if you're claiming it's safe
00:33:52and effective and you're claiming that there are people who are skeptical of that well
00:33:56release all the data right just open up a portal and and whatever you want to search for you know
00:34:01here's all the data you can go and interview all the people who are part of the trial here's all
00:34:06the data because you know we don't want people to be hesitant about something that is a life-saving
00:34:12measure again you know these are reasons and I'm you know I wasn't going off half-cocked because I
00:34:21I never go off half-cocked it's impossible so you know just sending out a couple of scouts
00:34:31some doubts some skepticism and so on right you know people say well we we just we gotta
00:34:38we gotta pay teachers more and I'm like you know spending per student has like doubled in the last
00:34:4330 years in most places it hasn't really improved the scores or America's a free market health care
00:34:51system it's like but is it I mean more than half of the money is spent by the government the
00:34:55government controls and regulates just about every aspect of it in fact you can't even open up a
00:34:58hospital if there's another hospital nearby unless you get permission from the government
00:35:02not super free market in some ways I mean certainly elements of it I agree with you but
00:35:06it's not just a free market system as far as you know I'd be tentative and you know hey as far as
00:35:10I understand it and you know all that kind of stuff right so hit me with a why if you've done
00:35:20the normie scout right like you send out some scouts to test
00:35:28the snipers so to speak right have you have you done the normie scout hey you're gonna
00:35:35send up a couple of trial balloons I'm gonna see what happens I find it sort of an interesting
00:35:41exercise you're good at it yeah okay you're great at it says okay well it's good it's good to know
00:35:46right I obviously can't evaluate but I'm pretty good at I find a pretty good way to do it is just
00:35:55to play dumb right just play dumb right it's safe and effective I'm like hey I mean certainly that's
00:36:01what they say and you know certainly if I was dealing with a leftist right and they say oh
00:36:07vaccine is safe and effective it's like but you know there is a there's hundreds of billions of
00:36:12dollars in play here right I mean do you not think that corporations might have an incentive to lie
00:36:19I mean just curious right
00:36:23yeah that's crazy so you watched the game last night right whatever right
00:36:26so you know just just questions right just questions right
00:36:36and sending out these scouts is really really interesting and I've made some good friends by
00:36:43sending out the scouts and you see you see the enforcers I mean I remember back when I was doing
00:36:54politics and I did a lot of work on analyzing the French election and not to go down and so on
00:37:00right and I remember seeing these videos of these French people are the people who support
00:37:07contempt with their stupid scarves and their galatoires and their black coffees
00:37:12or whatever right just like just pouring this can okay but they would be the enforcers
00:37:16right they would be the enforcers the sharpshooters the get the fuck back in line peasant
00:37:34now let me ask you this right just I don't because I mean I have my own experience but
00:37:39it's certainly not universal by definition sorry that was kind of obvious to say
00:37:44um what percentage of people you talk to who aren't part of your regular circle
00:37:49what percentage of people reveal themselves to be enforcers
00:38:00what percentage yeah yeah what was it somebody said on twitter today they said uh I got a weird
00:38:06mental illness man I keep thinking that people are going to change their minds when I present
00:38:10them reason and evidence but people I mean they're bought and paid for right I mean somebody
00:38:17on welfare can't be argued out of welfare or indolence it's not it's it's not a matter of
00:38:22reason and evidence hasn't been for generations now you say 10 or so of people are just those
00:38:27enforcers like they just they they send out that bone chill that hostility that tension that anger
00:38:34sometimes it's rage uh or scorn like when you just put a foot out of fucking line there's
00:38:42that's about 10 percent uh somebody says I think most people just fall into a default
00:38:46position and are pretty misguided right for sure and you know if you if you ask them questions
00:38:53they'll be like oh I guess I never thought of that right the enforcers
00:39:05and the enforcers are interesting because you can feel the when the heart freezes over
00:39:12and they're just done didn't you feel just done no they don't usually they don't how dare you
00:39:17they don't go full Greta Thunberg so what they do is they come up very friendly to give you dopamine
00:39:30of hey you know you're a nice guy you're a great guy we're enjoying this chat and it can be
00:39:36politics it also can be um you know hey your daughter seems really nice yeah we don't we
00:39:42don't punish we don't spank we don't yell never called her name never raised my voice never hit
00:39:46her um we don't punish at all well that that leads to some interesting conversations for sure for
00:39:56sure so the enforcers sort of the petty low-grade local sociopaths who try to drug you with
00:40:05friendliness and then here's the dopamine of friendliness and then here's the cold iciness
00:40:12of ostracism to get you the fuck back in line I mean you see this happening all the time with the
00:40:22mainstream media which is you know like someone says something they don't like and just
00:40:26you know frozen bitch face resting bitch face and it comes in just
00:40:3160 minutes they're like past experts at this kind of stuff right
00:40:36and I think the enforcers in a sort of very important way the enforcers are the totalitarian
00:40:45aspect of society because I mean obviously the government can't listen in on everything and
00:40:51adjust your social credit score dynamically at least yet right so the government can't do that
00:40:58so the real social credit score is the enforcers
00:41:05the enforcers of orthodoxy the uh you know like the guys in muslim countries that go up and down
00:41:10with the clubs to make sure that women aren't showing any leg right the enforcers of social
00:41:16orthodoxy they're the tattletales oh yeah for sure in a even a semi-totalitarian regime they'd
00:41:22be on the phone about the secret police with the secret police about you in about 30 seconds
00:41:31somebody says I dare because I have one master god no room for another that is why yeah so
00:41:37totalitarian is lateral right it's so here's what I think here's the way I think it works right
00:41:43here's the way I think it works
00:41:46so the propaganda says dislike these people now if people don't take it if they don't if
00:41:53they won't do it then the laws don't follow but if propaganda says you hate these people
00:41:59and everyone's like yeah we hate these people then you can start creating laws to restrict
00:42:03those people and and dehumanize those like they the the propaganda is the trial balloon
00:42:09is the scout and if the population being herded by the enforcers like sheep sheepdogs
00:42:15if the population in general is willing to turn on this or that group of people
00:42:19then the restrictive and dehumanizing laws follow
00:42:27somebody says I remember playing social tennis and meeting these german students
00:42:31who put the nose up at the fact I use telegram you could just see that someone had told them
00:42:35it's a scary free speech right-wing app I was just amused at how easily I can rattle these people
00:42:41yeah yeah I mean of course and and and just about everything that I say think or believe
00:42:46is triggering to a lot of people uh because we have become allergic to facts reason and evidence
00:42:52so I think I do think it's the enforcers I think it's the enforcers in 1984 the enforcers were the
00:42:59children weird to me yes but uh
00:43:06Orwell couldn't have kids if I remember rightly and he adopted a kid so
00:43:17yeah it's it's wild so I think that these enforcers are really the root of a lot of these
00:43:25these challenges in life now the question is of course for me because again the root causes
00:43:31root causes are very interesting why do they want to do this
00:43:39why do they why would somebody I mean I'm just a curious guy I like poking over I like kicking over
00:43:44the rock seeing what's underneath I like following the data wherever it leads I'm always curious
00:43:48about root causes it's pretty tough to offend me as a whole I mean it's pretty I don't generally
00:43:55get triggered by stuff because I'm just like hey I wonder where this leads or do you think
00:43:59they're huge flood of dopamine yeah but but of course there's a benefit to them but why right
00:44:04so saying well why do they do it well because they get positive results but that's just another way
00:44:08of saying why do they do it but doesn't explain why they get those positive results because if
00:44:13you know bullying people for any questions or skepticism if bullying people gives dopamine
00:44:21then everybody would do it right it's like a sibling snitching to the parents for good boy
00:44:25points yeah somewhat somewhat yeah maybe it's an older sibling thing or something like a younger
00:44:31sibling thing usually but or perhaps but yeah it's it's I it's a tough thing I'm trying to
00:44:37think of information where I'm just like oh I can't have that or oh that's terrible or oh this
00:44:41is unbearable or whatever it is right I mean lots of things I disagree with but I'm always happy to
00:44:47hear the argument I could be wrong and and always happy to hear the argument and and my only
00:44:53dedication is to the methodology not to the conclusions right I mean if if strongly held
00:44:58beliefs of mine turn out to be false so much the better because I want to be true right
00:45:05you
00:45:10people who feel powerless over themselves so they attempt to have power over others
00:45:14I know that's kind of a standard explanation I don't find it particularly satisfying which I
00:45:18know isn't an argument but lots of people feel powerless but that doesn't mean that everyone
00:45:22who feels powerless does this it's got to be something else right it's got to be something
00:45:27specific to this behavior otherwise it's too generic
00:45:32are you using autist as an insult good heavens no love the autists
00:45:38hi Steph do you have any thoughts on van life I'm a 27 year old living in California starting
00:45:42next week I'm going to be living out of a van full time this is by choice and I see it as a good
00:45:48the hell are you doing living out of a van at 27
00:45:57uh you don't want to have a wife and kids I mean if you're 21 that's one thing actually a friend
00:46:04of mine did a graduate degree living out of an abandoned school bus which I thought was actually
00:46:08kind of cool but don't you want to accumulate some assets and maybe be married and have kids
00:46:13at some point I don't know why you'd still be I mean what kind of woman are you going to attract
00:46:18living in a van down by the river all right we'd love to hear a philosophical analysis of the great
00:46:25Gatsby what are your thoughts didn't I do that yikes let me have a look let me have a look all
00:46:32right um if not I meant to uh well there's one that shows up
00:46:46ah drawing insights from the great Gatsby yes so oh my gosh was it that recent oh my all right so
00:46:53go to free domain fdrpodcast.com you can do a search for Gatsby and 5557 show 5557
00:47:06three fives followed by a seven you can check that one out but uh yeah maybe I would love to
00:47:12see you chat debate and discuss with Andrew Wilson the crucible I think you would align
00:47:15on most things he calls out the leftists and degenerates it makes for a great conversation
00:47:20orthodox christian yeah maybe maybe I mean if we agree I'm not sure it adds much
00:47:26and uh but I thank you for the note about the great Gatsby I do find it quite a
00:47:30confusing but powerful book now confusing in that the language is very opaque
00:47:35and he was half pickled by alcohol at the time
00:47:41but it's funny how far back demographic concerns go right because that's how it kind of opens
00:47:51all right hi Steph I'm going through something right now a co-worker told me he was on sleep
00:47:56meds but is cautious to take them because they have the side effect of prolonged and painful
00:48:00erections I went to my boss about it and now the guy is getting reported
00:48:09okay that's quite a tale I feel guilt and anxiety even though I wasn't the one who did anything
00:48:15wrong this response happens to me often when I protect myself anytime I make someone uncomfortable
00:48:21I feel so much anxiety where do you think this comes from so your co-worker was talking to you
00:48:32about his eternal boners did I do I have that are you a woman are you a female I think so
00:48:41hmm the great Gatsby was heavily pushed by the state yeah for sure for sure
00:48:52it was the character who had human teeth as his cufflinks it's just wild
00:49:02yeah the great Gatsby was heavily pushed by the state for sure
00:49:05oh yeah hatred of the rich and and all of that it's pretty pretty leftist stuff right
00:49:16so everything that's in the school curriculum is propaganda right
00:49:25everything that's in the school curriculum is propaganda and has been for generations
00:49:30and is pushed for generally fairly unholy reasons
00:49:38so yeah I had to read in government school yeah yeah for sure
00:49:48yeah I had to read A Raisin in the Sun for a school and I you know what I got out of The Raisin
00:49:55in the Sun is that sometimes within the black community there's they pillage from each other
00:50:00and harm them that money was made from my daddy's blood right I mean there's steel and and they
00:50:06they're huge problems within the community uh and it's not necessarily you know just massive racism
00:50:12coming from outside the community right so I thought that was an interesting um interesting
00:50:17play Raisin in the Sun
00:50:21all right let me just check here so yeah the enforcers I just I think it's interesting so why
00:50:28why they would want to do it why they would want to do it
00:50:36it's a kind of mysticism so I think what happens with the enforcers is they say
00:50:42ideas lead to violence certain ideas lead directly to violence and therefore prevention
00:50:50being better than cure the ideas must be suppressed so that violence does not occur
00:51:02they had us read 1984 and Brave New World at my public school why would they have us read
00:51:07anti-totalitarian stories
00:51:11so they have you read anti-totalitarian stories
00:51:15so that they can then associate totalitarianism only with the right wing
00:51:26I mean I'm not sure if many people know that 1984 was a direct criticism
00:51:31of or an attack upon socialism because Orwell was to some degree a socialist and even fought
00:51:39from Amish to Catalonia his book about his experiences in the Spanish civil war so they
00:51:44can say gee totalitarianism is really bad and then they can say totalitarianism only ever comes from
00:51:49the right I think Jordan Peterson was talking about how left-wing authoritarianism or left-wing
00:51:54totalitarianism is barely if ever mentioned in the same way that female totalitarianism
00:52:00is never really mentioned so yeah they'll say to you totalitarianism is really bad and then
00:52:05they'll say but there's only the only thing that exists is right-wing totalitarianism far right
00:52:10extreme right whatever they say right so then they can program you saying this is negative
00:52:16and it only comes from the right and therefore hate the right or whatever so
00:52:24I'd risk death of a salesman in government school yeah yeah so death of a salesman's interesting
00:52:29because the other business guy is actually sensible right so the and this is a story of
00:52:34the back to the family thing so Arthur Miller wrote death of a salesman about Willie Loman
00:52:40see he's the low man on the totem pole what a what a subtle writer Willie Loman and Willie Loman
00:52:46is going through a mental breakdown right so Willie Loman he has either some sort of
00:52:52schizophrenia or psychosis or he has um alzheimer's or some sort of massive he could
00:52:59have a brain tumor for his massive degenerating brain issue and as he
00:53:08goes through these brain destruction the destruction of his brain some manner uh his
00:53:15inhibition in his inhibition mechanisms collapse and this happens a lot of times with people who
00:53:21go through brain disorders degenerative brain disorders is that they start talking about things
00:53:26that they've suppressed and in Willie Loman's case it was the fact that he had affairs on the road
00:53:32affairs on his wife his long-suffering wife of course right and Willie Loman
00:53:42was a liar a pathological liar addicted to status and so he always pretended to be doing better than
00:53:49he was he always pretended he was a big shot when he wasn't he did not accept where he was
00:53:57he had psychotic levels of vanity the sin of pride and he infected his children with unreality
00:54:06and he thought that he had some sort of magical relationship with his boss that even if he was
00:54:12a bad worker and didn't make any sales his boss would still pay him and take care of him and he
00:54:19had failed to save money for his old age he failed to have a life insurance policy he cheated on his
00:54:23wife he was delusional he his delusions preyed upon his uh his children uh in that they had to
00:54:30support their father's delusions of grandiosity or he would uh beat them or or or he was certainly
00:54:36verbally violent towards them we assume physical violence as well and so he was absolutely repulsive
00:54:41character in and we're supposed to have all of this attention must be paid supposed to have all
00:54:46the sympathy for this deluded guy who cheated on his wife stole half stole from his boss and uh
00:54:55destroyed his children yeah delusions are bad but the good character is
00:55:03is one of his co-workers i think it is who says no it's just a business right he's got he's got
00:55:10to make money in fact the boss is quite sympathetic the boss has sympathy for the guy but it's like
00:55:14i still have to make money i can't just give you money if you don't make any money it's i'm not a
00:55:19charity i'm a business so and it's similar in ways to biff in in um the glass menagerie biff is like
00:55:30yeah you you got to be realistic about your opportunities i thought it'd be further ahead
00:55:34but i'm working my courses to improve i'm getting married and and so on right so
00:55:39so
00:55:43yeah death of a salesman is is it supposed to be sympathy for the underclass but the underclass
00:55:49in general and the peasants are revolting right the underclass in general is destructive addicted
00:55:55predatory uh exploitive uh abusive uh unsympathetic manipulative a lot of times i mean there's
00:56:01exceptions but people of quality usually don't stay poor like i'm just you know i mean people
00:56:07can get mad at me all they want i honestly don't care i'm certainly not at this point in my career
00:56:11what have i got left to lose right but i mean i grew up among these people in in three different
00:56:16countries in in a bunch of different apartments i have a wide exposure to the lowest part of
00:56:23society above the homeless and uh it's wretched it's wretched down there see the socialists want
00:56:31to create resentment by saying that you can be poor and totally noble and i'll tell you this man
00:56:40i spent i've spent lots and lots and lots of time around very very very poor people i grew up
00:56:46in that world completely and totally and there was not one noble poor that i saw i mean there
00:56:53was some okay poor but for the most part um they had significant dysfunctions uh they were bad at
00:57:00relationships uh they were unreliable uh they tended to have very short-term thinking they
00:57:06tended to drink away their profits rather than invest it in further education they had a stunning
00:57:11lack of curiosity about the larger world they blamed other people uh for their issues they did
00:57:16not take care of their health and uh and so on and it's like well because you know i think i think i
00:57:23a fairly reasonable example and i'm not the only one of course i'm a fairly reasonable example of
00:57:28if you work hard and you're reliable you don't have to stay poor you know you know how to how
00:57:34do you get in the middle class everybody knows you get in the middle class three things right
00:57:37finish high school don't have a kid out of wedlock have and keep a job for at least a year or two
00:57:43that's it like that's literally all you have to do finish high school don't have a kid out of wedlock
00:57:50get and hold a job for at least a year or two you you do that your chances of getting into the
00:57:54middle class are almost 100 percent now that's not brain surgery that's not the most complicated
00:57:59stuff known to man but the poor have this truly astounding inability to learn from their mistakes
00:58:10right so you know like i had guys i knew who were like you know they'd go out drinking they
00:58:15wouldn't get up for work and then they'd blame the bus for not getting them there on time or they'd
00:58:20run out of money and then they would blame somebody who stole something from them and
00:58:26they're just like it's a it's a truly amazing ability to externalize all problems and never
00:58:33take any responsibility and that's one of the reasons why people stay poor you know when i when
00:58:37i got into the business world and and became a hiring manager as you know i've interviewed like
00:58:42a thousand people hired like a hundred people over the course of my career and you know i think with
00:58:46pretty good success and so i you know i reached back and down to try and help people people who
00:58:53were complaining oh i can't get a good job i'm like hey man somebody gave me a shot i'll give
00:58:57you a shot i'll give you a shot and i i god help me i mistook other people for myself i had a guy
00:59:07who complained that he wasn't making enough and i got him a job for about 40 percent more money
00:59:13and um sent him the meeting request was happy to join him in the meeting
00:59:21reminded him the night before guy didn't show he didn't show another guy i worked with uh but
00:59:32he never tried to automate anything he never tried to improve his skill set he just came
00:59:35in and did the work and went home and never got anywhere and and it's like i i tried a man i tried
00:59:42oh my gosh did i try it i tried to help and you know charity is tough right because and you know
00:59:49i was like well people gave me a shot so i'll give people a shot and i have really tried man
00:59:55years and years and years trying to just help other people up you know reach back and and what happened
01:00:03what happened
01:00:03you know i'm pretty good at helping people with relationships right tried to help friends with
01:00:15their relationships marriages they didn't listen they got volatile they just you know
01:00:21raise people up and they fall back down
01:00:26so just
01:00:27it's hard man it's really hard to help people really hard to help people so the sort of willie
01:00:31lohman stuff is like well the poor they're just noble and they just want and they yearn and they
01:00:35it's like just finish high school don't have a kid out of wedlock have and hold a job for a year or
01:00:41two and you're set you're set not complicated so a woman says yes i am female and yes you got it
01:00:47right co-worker told me about eternal boner boner and i told my boss i'm not going to tell you
01:00:52it right co-worker told me about eternal boner boner and i told my boss i am a phd student so
01:00:58academia but my question is i now feel guilty and anxiety about this even though i did nothing wrong
01:01:03i was wondering if you could guess where this reaction might be from maybe a more
01:01:06quality material well we could do that but why did you go to your boss
01:01:12so in general i'm no woman but in general if i was a woman the way that i would think of it
01:01:25which you know again i'm not a woman so i could be wrong about all of this but the way that i
01:01:28would think of it is if i'm a woman and i'm in a professional environment and some guy talks
01:01:35starts talking about his penis i'd be like whoa okay no no not going there no no absolutely do
01:01:41not do that do not do that do not take a step in that direction rewind abandon ship eject eject
01:01:48eject we do not go there all right are we clear thank you so what did you just let this wash over
01:01:57you in a sense and and he's talking about his uh dantean boner scenario and why wouldn't you stop
01:02:06him in the moment again maybe i'm wrong about all of this but i'm not sure why you would then
01:02:10later go to your boss so i'm happy to hear about that
01:02:26ah the issue is we uh we are not close enough to be discussing genitals no it shouldn't be
01:02:31no you should not discuss it's funny actually somebody did put a video together of all the
01:02:35penis jokes i've made in 20 years there's not zero there's not zero
01:02:43i do think he was socially awkward and that's why i feel guilt but my guilt
01:02:46often stops me from protecting myself like this now
01:02:53i had an essay assignment it's willie lowman a trope tragic hero i agreed he was tragic
01:02:58not sure then about a hero do you think the school wanted us to say yes oh yeah for sure
01:03:02yeah sympathy for the poor is foundational to political power over sympathy to the poor
01:03:12for more on why poor people suck check out steph's novel just poor yeah
01:03:15yeah for sure the most people i've interacted with have been from the underclass all right
01:03:23so the woman so says what did you tell him you don't think it's appropriate to bring up at work
01:03:27said i don't think it's my job it's quite literally my boss's job but no i didn't
01:03:32when he said it i ignored it i thought about what the convo would look like and bringing up his junk
01:03:35again felt wildly inappropriate and i was uncomfortable i think that info is only for
01:03:39spousal partner sorry it is it's your boss's job to set boundaries with co-workers is it though
01:03:50is it i mean men are constantly setting boundaries with each other which is why i say i'm not a
01:03:57female so right but men are constantly setting boundaries with each other so is it your boss's
01:04:04job to set boundaries with a co-worker that's interesting i that wouldn't be my thought
01:04:11but again as a male i'm i'm in a different situation so i completely agree that it was
01:04:18wrong for him to bring it up right but is it your boss's job to set boundaries for you
01:04:35i don't know
01:04:39i would not think that in particular
01:04:42um let's see here somebody says i'm only throwing my two cents out there that's highly
01:04:52inappropriate that he brought that up agreed as a guy i could imagine that would be distressing
01:04:58i don't think i would approach a female co-worker that i didn't know particularly well to vent over
01:05:02it you could have told them directly instead of escalating it a lot of people nowadays have
01:05:07social skills yeah well but he also could be a creep who's right wants to talk about his penis
01:05:14with a young attractive woman and so he absolutely it might not be that he has no social skills he
01:05:20might just be a creep right who wants to talk about his penis with an attractive young woman
01:05:27right so i mean i would go with that right i don't think you need a huge amount of social skills
01:05:33to not talk about your boner with women who you don't know right i mean in general
01:05:40even with women you you do know i wouldn't right uh so yeah i i think i think he was i mean i would
01:05:49i think it would be creepy you know talking about how how firm and permanent your erection is
01:05:55is not not good professional or non-professional conversation material unless your boss is a woman
01:06:03sorry unless you're unless the woman is a doctor and is there to help you
01:06:10my boss is a pi private investigator my boss is a pi of a phd student so he has a mentor
01:06:18his job is to prepare us for after you're correct though being direct in the moment is what i wish
01:06:22i'd done i just felt scared in the moment and then re-approaching it felt like a bad choice
01:06:28yeah this sounds like a creep testing the waters not just socially awkward i would agree with that
01:06:31for sure so let me ask you this my friend and i'm really sorry because this is unpleasant right
01:06:38this is really unpleasant uh for um you know for the guys out there imagine you're sitting at some
01:06:44work meeting and some woman is talking about medication that uh you know it makes her vagina
01:06:50as tight as when she was 19 and it's like no please don't don't want to right principal
01:06:55investigator okay so uh that's really yeah it's really bad right that's really bad so
01:07:04it might have been appropriate to go to the boss because if this guy is creepy maybe he's creeping
01:07:10on other women too and that's you know that's just bad it's just ugly it's just ugly and
01:07:17and wrong and and you know women women have and very good for this women have a very very good
01:07:24sense of danger and creepiness obviously right women would have evolved that way as a whole
01:07:33and so uh women should you should always trust your instincts with this stuff always trust your
01:07:39instincts don't even doubt them for a second they evolved for a reason and you should trust
01:07:42your instincts now your instincts are this guy's doing something wrong now if you don't want to
01:07:46confront him in the moment which i can understand maybe he's really volatile you don't want to trip
01:07:50up a stalker or something like that uh then the other thing you can do of course is
01:07:59when this offensive garbage comes up she says yes i think i wouldn't have been scared if that
01:08:07if it had been any other man in my lab but it's a lot okay so trust your instincts trust your
01:08:11instincts if you think he's creepy trust your instincts so what you can do of course and i
01:08:17don't know the right thing to do again i'm speaking as not a woman so i say this with all
01:08:22the tentativeness and so on but another option is the moment that the conversation turns weird
01:08:28and you should absolutely absolutely trust your instincts on this the moment the conversation
01:08:33turns weird oh so sorry i gotta i gotta i gotta bolt i i left something behind i i have to grab
01:08:40something from my my office or oh shoot i left my cell phone i i you know in my car i like just get
01:08:47out just exit the situation with some plausible excuse right you say ah yes well then i've got
01:08:56to go back to the meeting and so on but um maybe you if there's a male friend or someone else
01:09:00you're working with you could invite them back into the meeting or you could text the person
01:09:05and say um i can't find what i'm looking for perhaps we could just have this meeting virtually
01:09:10or like there's things that you can do to just get out of the situation with without escalating
01:09:14it by whoa whoa whoa that's enough peepee talk from you young fella right so
01:09:24so there's this but but here's the thing and i don't know how this works with women
01:09:31of course right so um but what's wrong with practice right you don't want to try and set
01:09:39boundaries in a moment of high stress with no preparation if that makes sense the problem is
01:09:46that our desks are nine to five in the same lab full-time research so i will be random every day
01:09:50all day until i graduate right right right
01:10:03yeah so you can train people out of not talking to you trust me i've been doing this my whole
01:10:07career you can train people out of talking to you right so just whenever they come up you say i'm so
01:10:13sorry i'm really busy and whenever they want to chat just say you know i've got to get this task
01:10:17finished or whatever it is right so there's lots of things that you can do to train people out of
01:10:21talking with you even if they're in the same room even if they're the same environment and so on
01:10:24right now you know i'm not saying obviously i'm not saying it's terrible you went to the boss i'm
01:10:29not right i mean maybe this guy's a total creepazoid and he needs to have uh the person
01:10:35somebody come down on him and say you absolutely cannot talk about your erection with anybody in
01:10:41this lab this is not uh you know this is not erectile dysfunction lab right so you you you
01:10:47absolutely cannot do that are we clear right i mean so maybe that helps right i mean i'm sure that
01:10:53will help so i don't have any particular issue with you going to the boss if this guy is creepy
01:10:57and i'm going to trust your vibes on like your your vibe on the creep is is what counts for me
01:11:02here because your instincts i'm sure are great so if the situation is that excusing yourself
01:11:11from the meeting wouldn't help uh if you but but practice is important right so don't do anything
01:11:18in life that's important unprepared don't wing it don't try and figure it out in the moment right
01:11:27so all women and some men of course face the problem of creeps and inappropriate conversations
01:11:32right inappropriate conversations i mean people i work with face it all the time
01:11:37but i'm the hr department so it's fine so inappropriate conversations are everywhere
01:11:42and all over the place so i don't know i mean don't women don't women practice okay if he
01:11:49says this i'm going to say this if he says this i'm going to say this right
01:12:01so
01:12:04yeah no listen um i i i sympathize i really do it's it's a difficult situation uh and you know
01:12:11i obviously can see your picture particularly for i'm not trying to you know give you oval
01:12:15praise but you know a very very attractive woman and innocent attractive women have it tough in the
01:12:20world i know everyone's like oh they got it so easy it's like no no no attractive women have
01:12:24it kind of tough in the world because there's a lot of floating around um testosterone and
01:12:29sometimes creepy hormones and whatever it is right so it's not easy because you know you want to be
01:12:32respected for your your thoughts and everybody's drawn to your appearance right and trust me i
01:12:38know everybody just objectifies me all the time terrible so i think the important thing is to
01:12:47practice this right so get a male friend and say okay run me through some creepy scenarios
01:12:51right and and then how can i best de-escalate right and yeah get an approach 50 times a day
01:13:00by people twice your size who want you naked yeah it's really it's not easy it's not to be taken
01:13:04seriously to to have you know the sort of you know eyes up here kind of stuff everyone's always
01:13:08staring at my cleavage so i think that to practice is important right so practice is important right
01:13:15so um maybe this when you if you've got daughters you do this with them where you say okay if this
01:13:20situation happens what are you going to do what are you going to say right just practice so you're
01:13:24not going in blind so with this guy maybe it was totally the right thing to do to go to the boss i
01:13:31don't know when the situation is obviously complex um but don't try and wing it because
01:13:40winging it means you're paralyzed right so for women in particular inappropriate conversations
01:13:45come up and you're just gonna oh i'll just deal with it in the moment it's like but you won't
01:13:51nobody can nobody can so yeah try not to wing stuff and you know preparation is everything in
01:13:59life i mean i prepare for shows even though i've done thousands of them i've done dozens of public
01:14:05speeches and i still prepare insanely for for speeches like when i have a speech um i think
01:14:15when i did a night for freedom i had a very short speech no more than 15 minutes i think i was up on
01:14:20that stage for two and a half hours practicing that speech after writing it and practicing it
01:14:26for days beforehand so even for a 15 minute speech i was like eight to ten times the length
01:14:31of the speech i for me i call it getting friendly with the space you know just getting in the space
01:14:35doing the speech over and over again getting friendly with the space making sure i feel
01:14:39comfortable within it so then when i go and do the speech i don't have to i think about it right
01:14:43so you need to practice how you're going to respond so you're not trying to invent the wheel
01:14:57in the moment which is going to fail right so you are paralyzed because you're unprepared
01:15:04like if you think of i don't know somebody says well you have to go and take this road exam
01:15:09in arabic right and and they start barking questions at you in arabic it'd be like well
01:15:14i'm not prepared i can't answer this i'm not prepared right whereas if you have to take a
01:15:18test and you know maybe you move into some place and you've got to take the test you'll study it
01:15:21and you'll be fine with the test so winging it is a form of paralysis and preparation in life
01:15:27is everything you know if if i i've i've in my mind i've had so many hostile interviews like just
01:15:35in my head right what if they see this well i'll say that but what if they say this it's all just
01:15:39preparation so then when i would occasionally in the mainstream media uh sit down and i knew
01:15:44they wouldn't be particularly friendly interviews because i've never i've never had a friendly
01:15:48interview in the mainstream media but when they come at you full guns blazing it's like
01:15:52well i i've already rehearsed this 5 000 times in my head right i've already rehearsed this
01:15:59so the rehearsal is everything and not just in your head but also out loud i literally have you
01:16:05know while working out i'm like but what about this mr molyneux i'm like oh here's my answer
01:16:08well what about this well here's my answer well what about right so and i do it out loud so again
01:16:13i'm not trying to say oh i do it all right or anything like that but preparation is everything
01:16:19and if you haven't out loud repeatedly maybe a hundred times rehearsed how you're going to
01:16:26handle a creep right because i mean if you're just like okay no sorry i i'm not comfortable
01:16:33with this appreciate you know i'm sorry that you're having this issue i'm really not comfortable
01:16:37with this right just that's honest and that's direct right now the odds of that escalating
01:16:43may not be super high of course if anything does escalate then of course you go into the
01:16:47police or to your boss or whatever it is so again i don't know what you should or shouldn't have done
01:16:51but i think if you feel guilty i think you probably feel guilty because you're unprepared
01:16:57you're unprepared and your parents should have prepared you for guys being inappropriate
01:17:04because guys can be inappropriate i mean women can be inappropriate too right i mean i mentioned
01:17:09this before but i had a number of women promised to get my books published if i would sleep with
01:17:15them i was a scrumptious young fellow so uh women can be entirely inappropriate and can talk about
01:17:22sexual matters in the workplace and you just have to find so i was relatively unprepared i was
01:17:28probably about your age so i had to start getting prepared for this kind of stuff
01:17:32and so it should be families or you know ideally some someone who you care about is going to be
01:17:38like okay so you're an attractive young woman you guys are going to be inappropriate it can happen
01:17:43with unattractive young women it can happen with older women it can happen like because creeps
01:17:47don't discriminate that much right so the important way maybe where you feel guilty is
01:17:53the lack of preparation which is you need to have rehearsed a hundred times out loud how you're
01:17:59going to deal with creeps and there's ways that you can do it and you know maybe there's things
01:18:06that you can things you can read and so on but don't go in crossing your fingers hoping for the
01:18:11best and then be paralyzed when you're unprepared and i'm not obviously blaming you in any way shape
01:18:17or form i'm just saying that maybe the guilt has to do with a lack of preparation uh so that then
01:18:22you felt really awkward and weird and then had to go to a bus which again might have been the right
01:18:27thing to do so i would say uh preparation is key the readiness is all i love that speech
01:18:40let me see if i can find it it's a great speech
01:18:44now i have to type one-handed because the microphone is in front of the keyboard
01:18:47and what is that's a great speech i love it
01:19:04there is special providence in the fall of a sparrow if it be now it is not to come
01:19:10if it be not to come it will be now if it be not now yet it will come the readiness is all
01:19:23since no man of ought he leaves knows what is to leave the times let be i just love i've always
01:19:30loved this now the readiness is all just be ready for things in life especially the predictable
01:19:39things such as you're a young attractive woman guys are going to occasionally be creepy and
01:19:44again if it's any consolation i've been creeped on by uh women and it is it's tough it's a tough
01:19:52situation because creeping is selfish it is exploitive it is aggressive and it is of course
01:20:01relying on girls who are untutored and unprotected so yeah uh she says i really appreciate the
01:20:12feedback i will practice tonight with my brother my parents utterly failed me you're very right on
01:20:16that i told my mom today and she laughed oof i'm sorry about that social ineptitude can definitely
01:20:22make people feel creeped out sorry you had to go through that and i hope for your sake it doesn't
01:20:26turn out to be a creep ah i you know i i don't tend to go too much with the social ineptitude
01:20:38stuff as a whole and social ineptitude to that degree where you're talking about your
01:20:42boner with a young woman in the office social ineptitude to that degree is creepy because
01:20:48it just means that the person has no idea what appropriate social rules are and that's dangerous
01:20:53right somebody says i've only been approached by a few gays in my life i was extremely creeped out
01:21:01um i don't i mean i've obviously i've lived with gay men in theater school and all of that so
01:21:06pretty comfortable with the culture um i've never had a gay man approach me
01:21:10i'm just so super straight i mean they can they can tell they can tell and uh what is it uh
01:21:19i remember asking this so why don't the gay guys approach me and and my my friend who was gay was
01:21:23like oh well i can't even tell you man he said i can't even tell you like we know you're you're
01:21:30straighter than the horizon i just remember that you're straighter than her he says we're all
01:21:36biochemistry phd social incapability is everywhere actually i can't tell if it's self-selecting or
01:21:41not okay but social incapability should be reservation right social incapability is
01:21:51i'm too shy to talk about anything as opposed to i'm rambling on about my eternal boner right
01:22:03so i i generally don't buy the social awkwardness stuff when it comes to
01:22:09this obviously kind of creepy stuff right
01:22:19i'm not saying go straight to creepiness but the problem is so here's here's the problem
01:22:24as a whole and i'm you know maybe this is because i'm a protective dad or whatever but
01:22:30this young lady um don't listen to the guys talking about social awkwardness
01:22:35do not listen to them and i'll tell you why you have your instincts you should absolutely trust
01:22:42them i do not want you blunting your instincts by creating this category called social awkwardness
01:22:49i do not want you blunting your instincts if you feel it's creepy go with that absolutely go with
01:22:56that and objectively it is creepy for a guy to talk about his boner with a woman who's not his
01:23:01doctor or his wife or his girlfriend so i'm 100 with you on that totally with you on that
01:23:09totally with you on that do not create a category called well he's just shy well he's just so-called
01:23:14socially awkward do you know why because creeps will totally exploit that in order to creep you
01:23:19out more yeah i can't imagine a socially awkward person who isn't shy about their penis yeah of
01:23:26course so um you know there's this whole category of sort of social awkwardness that has been
01:23:35created that is and i'm not saying anyone here is doing that of course right but i'm just saying
01:23:39that in general there's this whole category of creepiness that is being redefined as social
01:23:45awkwardness and it blunts women's instincts and of course when i'm not calling this guy a rapist
01:23:53of course not right so this is a very extreme example but for a woman to be raped is the
01:23:59greatest catastrophe really that can be imagined right i mean certainly i mean it's evil as as it
01:24:06gets but if you just think evolutionarily speaking um her romantic value is destroyed
01:24:13she's she's traumatized she could end up of course getting pregnant and having the kid of a rapist
01:24:17so women
01:24:21are so unbelievably harmed by rape that women have developed extraordinarily
01:24:29refined instincts regarding this stuff now of course there are people who say and i understand
01:24:35that well what about the false rape accusations and so on and they certainly happen it's a
01:24:40different category it's a different category women have evolved to avoid these kinds of
01:24:49situations because here's the thing too even if the guy is just a creep he's invading her
01:24:55mental space right because now she's got to go in even if he's just a creep and all he'll do
01:24:59is talk and won't touch her even he's still invading her mental space because now there's
01:25:03a predator in the room and see don't also um let me ask you this young lady is this guy going to
01:25:13be in any kind of competition for future academic placements or work with you is he competing
01:25:25with you for anything in the future or will he be competing i assume so this guy wants to be a
01:25:31professor he says i felt it cannot be the last and if he doesn't set boundaries now he might get
01:25:35bolder if that's possible oh it's possible oh it's possible
01:25:44no i remember being at a workplace once uh and and the guy emailed around a um uh a cartoon about
01:25:51circumcision it was crazy oh yes absolutely i want to work in industry but the community is tight he
01:25:57will always be around in some way okay so here's another thing too it may not be fundamentally
01:26:03sexual in nature it may be got to trust your instincts but also you might want to look at it
01:26:07from the standpoint that this is just intellectual sabotage so he wins in a competition with you for
01:26:12the scarce resources and tenured positions available in academia right so he also might
01:26:21just be messing with your head so that you get distracted and you're sleepless and your work
01:26:25quality suffers and you feel nervous so that he can get the job and you can't so it's not
01:26:30always sometimes it's not even about sex at all it can be obviously it often is but it also can
01:26:36be he's just screwing with your head so that you uh lose and and he wins
01:26:46so it could just be a straddler a guy mentioning a throbber to a woman at work is a bit reaching
01:26:53not surprised he got into trouble yeah
01:26:58somebody says i know a professor who lost tenure because he systematically took his female phd
01:27:02students to boat parties where his friends groped them yeah he can get bolder yeah for sure and and
01:27:07so again i have you know shutting it down in the moment may be better however it may be better for
01:27:13it to be on the record if he's like this so somebody says he either needs a kick in the ass
01:27:18from a superior or ostracized by the group not great area to comment even for a stem guy yeah
01:27:23yeah yeah somebody says i was shy awkward and be diagnosed with borderline asd
01:27:31i have never ever talked to anyone about something like that outside medical settings yeah for sure
01:27:35for sure so yeah i mean i i yeah again don't feel guilty for being attractive don't feel guilty
01:27:50for this creep doing what he did but maybe the guilt is more around is there more that i can do
01:27:56see here's the thing um the question and this is nothing to do with blaming the victim this
01:28:01is really around keeping you safe so the question is why did he do this right why did he do this
01:28:11this is nothing to do with blaming you at all but if because these guys say he took a huge risk
01:28:18and these guys if it is a creep thing that's going on or even a sabotage thing that's going on he
01:28:22took huge risks so why did he right so there was some marker where he thought he could get away
01:28:28with it and he thought he did until you went to the boss right so i think that you were raised to
01:28:32be compliant but philosophy has given you more strength just as it has i think most of us and
01:28:37certainly me included right so you were raised to be compliant and submissive with i assume brutal
01:28:42or neglectful parents or both you raised to be compliant and he sensed that he didn't know that
01:28:47you had the secret super weapon source of philosophy right he didn't know that how could he
01:28:56right it's not exactly stamped on our foreheads
01:29:04so i think your nature might be something that people assume
01:29:10is submissive and therefore they can pull gross crap like this so in terms of a presentation
01:29:20you know i gotta tell you here's a
01:29:25here's a funny thing about life nothing to do with me of course absolutely nothing to do with
01:29:30me of course most people can't tell if you're faking confidence did you know that it's wild
01:29:43because if you feel insecure of course you think that because you so vivid for you you think that
01:29:49that everyone can can see it and and and feel it and and it's just written all over your face
01:29:56it's not true uh she says yes this is what i was asking for i am standing up for myself for
01:30:03the first time this is not the first time someone has done creepy stuff i 100 expect him to confront
01:30:07me about it tomorrow versus if this were reversed i'd be scared to confront if i did something so
01:30:14creepy well now here's the thing here's the thing and i can't tell you what to do obviously and i
01:30:21don't know whether this will work i thought most people assume that everyone has confidence is
01:30:25faking it no so i you know when i was first in in the public realm before um this philosophy show
01:30:34uh i would give speeches at industry conferences and other various places and so on and sometimes
01:30:39i felt pretty nervous because you know i was trained in history and i wasn't giving speeches
01:30:43in history but in other sort of more technical business areas and even though i'd done some
01:30:46research and done some practice you know and i went up and uh you know i was kind of nervous
01:30:53but i gave the speech and afterwards you know i looked at the video i'm like i look perfectly
01:30:58confident and everyone was like wow what a great speech you really know your stuff you know it's
01:31:02nice to see someone so relaxed up there right right so here's the thing
01:31:08the guilt will invite a confrontation faking being confident to most people is indistinguishable
01:31:20from genuine confidence and when you understand that faking confidence is a perfect camouflage
01:31:25for real confidence you can actually develop some real confidence do you see what i mean
01:31:31so once i realized that nobody could tell that i was nervous giving a speech
01:31:35i stopped being nervous giving speeches like it works it's a wild thing so with your brother
01:31:42tonight young lady this is your homework assignment with your brother get him to confront you
01:31:49brother get him to confront you
01:31:56get him to confront you with all of the possible confront confront all of the possible confronting
01:32:05stuff he might say so he might say hey why did you go to the boss i was just talking about a
01:32:09medical issue why on earth would you go to the boss rather than talk to me directly right
01:32:20now do you know how to answer that
01:32:28why didn't you talk to me directly why did you
01:32:34why didn't why did you go to the boss you should come to me direct because he's going to critic he
01:32:38could criticize you that way right now first of all when you go into the office assuming it's
01:32:45legal assuming it's legal i don't want to know where you work right assuming it's legal
01:32:51have your recorder on right do you want to have a record right so guys what what if he says why did
01:33:00you uh why didn't you come to me why did you go to the boss we could have worked this out ourselves
01:33:05why did you run to the boss what you said made me uncomfortable and that's all you need to know
01:33:15well why didn't you come to me and tell me that you were uncomfortable you have to run to the boss
01:33:19we're adults here you can just talk to me what do you say
01:33:36i don't know i don't know there's no perfect answer i can tell you what i would answer
01:33:40what i would answer if he comes and says why did you talk why did you talk to me why did you go to
01:33:44the boss i would say listen i don't know what on earth made you think that it was okay to talk to
01:33:53me about your erection but you were just completely mistaken i'm not going to try and reason with
01:33:59someone like that like sorry i'm just i don't know what it was in your head that said hey i'm going
01:34:05to talk to this uh woman about my erection like that's not okay i'm not going to deal with you i'm
01:34:11going to deal with the boss right so and especially like do it loudly honestly loudness is very powerful
01:34:18in these kinds of confrontations so if he comes at you and says something oh why why did you do
01:34:23this why did you do that i didn't mean anything by it right you can just loudly say why did you
01:34:30think it was okay to talk to me about your erection why why would you think that
01:34:37eye contact full confidence loud why would you think it's okay to talk to me about your erection
01:34:48that's going to make him back down
01:34:55i expect him to say hey can i talk to you for a second and try to make it excluded
01:34:59and you say no i don't want to sorry i don't i don't want to no thank you
01:35:10you can take the matter up with the boss but uh no no just don't
01:35:18do you want to talk this it's just directness and honesty right if he says hey can i talk to
01:35:23you for a second it's like no i don't i don't want to no really it'll just take a second i don't want
01:35:28to now we're going down this hole where you're trying to talk to me about something i don't want
01:35:34to talk about do we really want to do this again how about we don't let's not go down this right
01:35:45look up one party consent laws on recordings then company policy yeah yeah at least create
01:35:49a document with time dates or anything like that but you don't want to talk to him privately about
01:35:54this right so just be honest no i don't want to no no just take a second no i'm sorry i don't want
01:36:05to i don't want to and be loud bullies if this creepy bullies they hate the volume they hate the
01:36:12loudness yeah no i don't want to talk to you privately thank you very much no but you shouldn't
01:36:21no i don't want to i don't want to stop stop just stop
01:36:27right he will have to back down because you are in a position of authority
01:36:38fake it till you make it yeah there's some real truth in that there's some real truth in that
01:36:44you don't owe this guy a private conversation at all
01:36:47women don't owe these guys and nobody owes anybody anything unless you've signed a contract
01:36:53you don't know him a private conversation you don't owe him an explanation you don't owe him
01:36:58anything like that just flipping off somebody violate you hugh pv no
01:37:08thank you so much steph i have a female co-worker who plans to ride with me to work
01:37:11and be by me the whole day doing experiments fantastic but please please please practice
01:37:16practice with your brother tonight yeah work as many scripts and just don't be afraid to be loud
01:37:25don't be afraid to be loud i gotta tell you i really really dislike guys who creep on
01:37:32women i really i just i just i mean obviously it's the dad and me and so on but i just
01:37:37really really dislike guys who creep on women
01:37:45i mean i i remember one woman in an office i worked with um telling me the story about a guy
01:37:51who kept asking her out for dinner and then she finally turned in front of everyone and she said
01:37:57hey i'm happy to go out for dinner with you just bring your wife
01:38:07right i did the guys who creep and make these side comments and so on and just alarm women
01:38:14i just think it's the most cowardly bullying bullshit approach that can be thought of
01:38:27yeah he might give a sincere apology in which case you can say hey i appreciate that and let's move on
01:38:40now obviously i'm not saying you do care about this guy but bringing him up short when he's
01:38:46talking about his what did somebody call it a throbber something like that bringing this guy
01:38:52up short is obviously something it does actually help him i know that's not your goal but it does
01:38:58actually help him and it helps others right and as you say it could help academia is is ripe with
01:39:04creeps academia is is swarming with creeps in my experience so yeah just even if you're terrified
01:39:16just be loud and direct and he'll get the message again people can't tell if you're faking confidence
01:39:24it's it's the weirdest thing and i i remember just being completely stunned by this i first
01:39:29started giving speeches i guess like public public speeches in the business world gosh
01:39:36late 20s or something like that right and i just remember i i also remember um even when i was
01:39:43acting and all of that like i and people were like wow you really dominate you own the stage
01:39:48and i was like oh i hope i remember the lines and so on they don't mess like they don't notice they
01:39:52don't notice if you're only pretending to to there's no then nobody's psychic nobody knows
01:39:57what the hell you're thinking it's just weird because it's so obvious to you what you're
01:40:00thinking and it's completely not obvious to everyone else but yeah i'm so a couple of
01:40:10takeaways just just to encapsulate it i thank you for bringing it up my massive sympathies for this
01:40:16um you're welcome of course to do a call-in because the more we can give women uh power
01:40:21against the creeps and men power against the female creeps the better because i really dislike
01:40:26that these guys do this terrible stuff so um you're welcome to do a call-in and um really
01:40:34practice practice practice this is to all women and you know to men to practice how to stand up
01:40:39for yourself don't try and wing it you will fail says it pisses me off too we have a 16 hour
01:40:46experiment tomorrow i do not need to be anxious about this as well the whole day right
01:40:53right so that's why if he does anything you can be loud and assertive and that way he can
01:40:57be anxious the whole day but and and listen for for men and this is why i said you know right
01:41:02at the beginning and i say this with absolute deep humility i am a 187 pound guy who's nearly
01:41:10six feet tall and somewhat muscular right so i don't know i do not know what it's like
01:41:21for slender attractive women i do not know i do not know what it's like because even though i
01:41:26was a really tasty scrumptious young piece of man morsel i was not physically threatened by
01:41:32anybody who was attracted to me there was no physical threat there was no scariness as far
01:41:36as that because i'm like you know 60 bigger than most women right so i don't know
01:41:47that level of physical caution i have it with men to some degree but i've never been in a fight
01:41:52never thrown a punch never received well i received one punch uh no more than one from family members
01:41:57but anyway never been in a big old fist fight and very proud about that so i say this men can
01:42:04just say well just do this and just do that it's like but we live in a different universe right we
01:42:08live in a universe where we're bigger than women as for the most part and stronger than women right
01:42:14and so you know unless you've been around like imagine you know the the the basketball team
01:42:22the wrestling team like these giant guys are are picking on you right you'd feel pretty nervous and
01:42:28and probably a little paralyzed right because you wouldn't be able to fight back so um i i did the
01:42:34last thing i want is for the women who listen to this to be like well steph says just do this and
01:42:40he doesn't understand it's like no i'm very humble about this i'm very very humble about this i don't
01:42:45know directly i can picture it i can imagine it i don't know it directly your physical caution
01:42:51completely understandable i mean this is one of the reasons why um in the past uh you'd get
01:42:57married you'd have kids you'd have a guy who'd protect you and you'd be home with the kids and
01:43:01there's less of that sort of risk fine fine enjoy your phd i'm not trying to say anything about that
01:43:07but this um a woman unprotected making her way in a largely male environment is a pretty new
01:43:13phenomenon and unfortunately there are a lot of fathers who don't raise their daughters to all of
01:43:19that that's a really good point that men don't even realize how much bigger we are oh gosh a lot
01:43:25of men like you know this is kind of a bad cliche like would you rather meet a bear or a man in the
01:43:29woods it's uh that's rough man uh the level of low-grade threat that women experience in the
01:43:44world is something that's hard for men to understand i mean we just don't we go through
01:43:50life and blah blah blah and we you know like these big blind bulldozers of muscle and testosterone
01:43:56and we don't know we don't know what it's like to live with that level of oh no i can't go out
01:44:03walking it's it's after dark like go talk talk to your women right talk to your women sorry talk to
01:44:10women talk to women and say hey uh would you go walking downtown at uh on a weeknight say at 9
01:44:17p.m and what are they going to say oh god no like they're locked in they're locked in for the night
01:44:22they can't go out they can't go out
01:44:35so it's you know it's really easy for for us men to oh it's kind of neurotic and anxious and just
01:44:44don't be so worried and it's like no i'm sorry it's it's just not reasonable if you want to know
01:44:49what it's like particularly to be young attractive woman then what you need to do is you need to go
01:44:54to a bad neighbor don't do this but in your mind right mentally go to a really bad neighborhood
01:44:59dressed in really expensive clothing really expensive watch
01:45:02you know really expensive gold chains just go walk around a bad neighborhood how are you going to feel
01:45:11well you're going to feel pretty nervous there's going to be steps behind you're going to look
01:45:14around you're going to what people are gathering are they going to jump you're going to feel
01:45:18nervous and women have the treasure right
01:45:25so in your mind imagine roaming around a bad neighborhood
01:45:30with really expensive clothing maybe a clear plastic bag full of stuff full of cash hundred
01:45:36dollar bills that's women in in the modern society it wasn't so bad in the past right but
01:45:44you know i mean obviously you look at places across europe rape levels are way up and it's
01:45:48becoming really alarming and she says yeah it's low-level cortisol all the time in my field i'm
01:45:53usually assertive in the lab with intellectual stuff which is against my submissive nature but
01:45:57i never expected something sexual ever i froze i will not freeze tomorrow okay never expected
01:46:02anything sexual ever oh come on really i i i i'm sure a lot of men have trouble imagining
01:46:10a creepy woman i can't think of many myself but again the stats on rape against men are real
01:46:14yeah no it can be uh so um i would view if i were in your shoes a ow b
01:46:26this is an inoculation so this is there to teach you that there is
01:46:30there can be creepy men around and this is there to inoculate you against future repetition this
01:46:37is going to be your you know one shot and done you're going to learn how to handle this learn
01:46:40how to deal with this and i get it's a bit nerve-wracking but you'll be fine so you're
01:46:45going to learn how to deal with this and then because you know how to deal with this my strong
01:46:51belief is that because you know how to deal with this now it's not going to happen again
01:46:56it's not going to happen again because they they sense this stuff they sense the naivety they they
01:47:01look for the woman who's you know not gonna who's gonna get kind of paralyzed in the moment and
01:47:05again they don't know that you've got the backup of philosophy and self-knowledge and all of that
01:47:09to deal with it later right i've been here for five years this has never happened in the lab
01:47:14out of the lab sure yeah for sure for sure but you still have to practice as a woman you have
01:47:22to practice how to deal with creeps honestly it's a couple of hours out of your life and it can be
01:47:29extremely helpful to put it mildly could really save you some pretty bad situations so um you know
01:47:36i hate that you have to do it i do hate that you have to do it if it's any consolation we men have
01:47:42to know how to not really anger other bigger men right we have to know when to fight when we have
01:47:52to know when to back down we have to know when to not be provocative we have to know and especially
01:47:56if there's a woman in distress right a lot of men get into a lot of trouble trying to help
01:48:00women in distress right so we have to do with this we have to deal with this kind of stuff
01:48:08from a physical violence standpoint but women have to do this from a creep sexual standpoint
01:48:13and so i'm not saying it's the same or equal but um if it's any consolation it's a human issue
01:48:18about how to deal with aggressive people all right she says i will update you with how it goes i feel
01:48:25i owe you for helping so much it means more than you know and thanks everyone else for their input
01:48:28too you are very welcome and i'm sorry that it happened i'm sorry that there are these creeps out
01:48:32there if it's any consolation sadly they're usually raised by single mothers i thank you
01:48:38for sharing uh this is for the lady too this has been a useful conversation i really need to think
01:48:42about how to make sure that my daughter is prepared to deal with what gets thrown at her by
01:48:45the world yes yes yes yes because you know we want to shelter our daughters we want to keep them safe
01:48:50and we want them to you know love the world and its butterflies and flowers and roses and peonies
01:48:54and so on but we do actually have to prepare them for the fact that there are creeps in the world
01:49:01and they you know really have to know how to deal with these kinds of things
01:49:06all right you have to the street proof street proof your kids right right um you know if if
01:49:12if you you know if you ever uh feel nervous get out of the situation trust your instincts don't
01:49:17doubt anything i don't care if people think badly of you or think you're being paranoid i don't care
01:49:23you just get out of the situation this has been my goal as a man right i mean if i'm in a situation
01:49:27that i think potentially turn violent i just get out i just get right out get right out i mean i've
01:49:34i remember when i was younger coming back from a club and there was a violent guy on the bus
01:49:40and i got off the bus and i was out of money and this is long before credit cards or bank machines
01:49:44i was out of money and i had to walk probably an hour 20 minutes to get home and i walked and i
01:49:50hummed and i sung to myself and i was perfectly happy skipping along like uh the pollyanna because
01:49:56i wasn't on that bus i just get out of the situation now if you can't get out of the situation
01:50:02then and anybody grabs you then i say you know all bets are off somebody grabs you you punch you go
01:50:08for the eyes you kick you scream i don't care you you defend yourself you're as loud as humanly
01:50:14possible you do whatever it takes to get attention and get away absolutely like don't ever hesitate
01:50:20absolutely don't ever hesitate uh and and don't be embarrassed and don't be oh my what if i've
01:50:25mistaken something it's like nope it's better to be loud and wrong than quiet and right
01:50:33so yeah you you absolutely you know you would i don't have a son but if i had a son it would be
01:50:38like yeah if there's if there's violence brewing you trust your instincts you get the hell out
01:50:42you can't win those kinds of things especially these days right self-defense is pretty frowned
01:50:46upon to put it mildly so uh yeah you you have to street proof your kids it's kind of sad i didn't
01:50:52particularly need to be street proof but then i grew up in a very very safe 1970s london so
01:51:01somebody says i worked security woman having a loud public argument with her boyfriend around
01:51:05her tried to help she sides with the boyfriend his friends jumped the guy spilled over into the
01:51:09lobby of the downtown office shift change so four of us there got them separated huge mess
01:51:15oh yeah no i miss living in a society where i'd come to a woman's defense but
01:51:19women keep voting for more and more criminals out of prison so oh good luck ladies sorry
01:51:25so yeah i mean the street proofing stuff is really really important it's sad that it has
01:51:29to happen but all right freedom.com slash donate to help out the show if i've done useful things
01:51:35for you just by the by since you guys don't know the business swings of the
01:51:40the company as a whole but uh summers are a light on donations but you know the the costs
01:51:46march on regardless and we i had to pay some money for peaceful parenting.com and uh so
01:51:53yeah if you could help out the show i would obviously hugely appreciate it uh we're getting
01:51:56some good download numbers on um peaceful parenting i'm starting getting in if you've
01:52:01read it if you've read it by the way if you could uh post a review or you can email me the review
01:52:07at um host at freedom.com host at freedom.com and if you could help out the show uh with a review
01:52:15that would be very helpful if you want to do call-in shows you can do freedom.com slash call
01:52:20you can do a private or public call-in show happy to accommodate whatever works best for you we've
01:52:25got some great call-in shows coming out i did like three yesterday which was really something
01:52:29so we got some great stuff coming out and uh really love you guys so much for
01:52:34your support of the show we're just one big family just kidding right so but we're close
01:52:38so uh really appreciate that freedom.com slash donate have yourself
01:52:42a glorious evening we will talk to you friday night bye