The Present (2024)

  • 2 months ago
The Present is a 2024 American comedy film written by Jay Martel, directed by Christian Ditter and starring Isla Fisher and Greg Kinnear.
Transcript
00:00:00You
00:00:30Oh
00:01:00I
00:01:02Mean
00:01:25I'm seeking all the chicken. Please wait until everyone's at the table. Hey something camp out tonight too old for that stuff
00:01:30I know. I was just kidding.
00:01:32Besides, I'm going to a party tonight.
00:01:33We talked about that. The answer is no.
00:01:34I'm literally missing the party of the year
00:01:36for a family dinner.
00:01:37Everyone's gonna be there.
00:01:39Not everyone.
00:01:40Shut up, Max!
00:01:41Oh, gosh. Please stop shouting at your brother.
00:01:44Taylor's having dinner with us?
00:01:45Something's going down.
00:01:47So, your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you
00:01:49all in the same place about something important.
00:01:52Mm-hmm.
00:01:54This...
00:01:55This is important.
00:01:56I just said that.
00:01:58I understand.
00:01:59Yeah, okay. Okay, so your dad and I
00:02:00wanted to talk to the three of you
00:02:02because we've decided that we need to make a change.
00:02:07No way.
00:02:08What are you talking about?
00:02:09They're getting divorced.
00:02:10No. No, no, no.
00:02:11It's just trial separation.
00:02:13You want them on trial?
00:02:14No, no, no. We're just gonna live apart for a little bit.
00:02:16You're not going on trial.
00:02:17No, there is no trial.
00:02:19No, no, no.
00:02:20They're getting divorced. That's what that means.
00:02:22We're gonna live apart for a while.
00:02:23For forever. Just say it.
00:02:24Would you please just listen to me?
00:02:26Please, Dad. You want me on trial?
00:02:27You want me on trial?
00:02:29No.
00:02:30No, Haley!
00:02:32I don't want to be on trial!
00:02:33I don't want to be on trial!
00:02:35Oh, so Taylor can just get up and leave the ambulance.
00:02:37How far are you going to take us?
00:02:39How far are you going to take us?
00:02:40I don't want this to look bad.
00:02:42I don't want this to look bad.
00:02:44I'll just run if I have to.
00:02:45I don't want to be on trial!
00:02:47I don't want this to look bad...
00:02:48This is dumb.
00:02:50Oh
00:03:20Oh
00:03:35Well, I won't have to get used to sleeping alone I wouldn't go there if I were you
00:03:42All right, so
00:03:45We're doing it tonight at dinner. Where will you stay? I don't really know
00:03:51Dan's got an extra room. Oh, he's place is disgusting. Yeah
00:03:56Don't suppose you want to move out
00:03:59Don't put it on me
00:04:02Max
00:04:12You're gonna talk to Taylor yeah, and then you talk to me I know
00:04:15Guys
00:04:18Guys listen, this is important. No excuses. We need everyone at dinner. Seriously. Hmm tonight. Will we have favorite chicken?
00:04:25Yeah, sure, sweetie
00:04:27Jimmy's having a party tonight. It's always the best party of the year. Everyone's counting on me to be there. You're 16
00:04:32What's everyone counting on you for? Hi dad is Jacob gonna be there
00:04:39What I don't I don't know who cares about him he'll definitely be there don't you have a plate to bang on
00:04:45Hey, don't hit your brother
00:04:56Well, we gave away everything else my father had in storage
00:05:00What are we supposed to do with a giant broken clock? Nobody is a rare antique Jen. It's kind of creepy
00:05:06Go wait in the car. Don't you feel like we should be clearing stuff away right now with everything that we're going through
00:05:13Yeah, I haven't put it in the basement. No, you know how Taylor feels about change
00:05:18Well, you can tell Taylor about it when you tell him about dinner. That was not part of our deal
00:05:21And I'll tell Emma. No. Yeah, Emma
00:05:26Basements this way
00:05:34Yeah, just leave it at the bottom of the stairs honestly, oh
00:05:38Oh, hey Taylor, they can bring the clock over here
00:06:01Is that the clock can help you now and then but only you can change events
00:06:08Okie
00:06:21This is between you and your dad if you want to pull it apart or throw it from a cliff you can but just don't
00:06:27Pull that over on yourself. It looks pretty heavy
00:06:3112 hour repeater
00:06:35There's something else I need to talk to you about
00:06:38You
00:06:41Want me to be at dinner tonight, yeah, how'd you know that now get the door
00:07:07Oh
00:07:14Hi, hey
00:07:16Another package for you and Taylor, huh? Still adding on this computer. I never ends. Don't we have to go?
00:07:20Oh, yes, you got your bag. It's on my back
00:07:28What was ill gross it's on your shoe disgusting
00:07:38Oh
00:07:48Why doesn't Emma take me anymore? Oh, honey, she just wants to drive alone right now
00:07:52She never wants to be with me anymore. Is she sick of me? She's sick of everyone
00:07:57I kind of feel like Taylor got the best deal of all of us Taylor. Yeah
00:08:00I mean because he's all his issues that were diagnosed by professionals
00:08:04He gets to sit in the basement all day playing video games, honey. Taylor has a really hard time
00:08:09I mean, can you imagine not wanting to be touched not wanting to go outside?
00:08:13Today he was actually fixing grandpa's clock that'll piece of shit max
00:08:20Yeah, that'll piece of shit
00:08:34We're here together
00:08:48Sorry about that brutal class I'm clearly working through some feelings
00:08:52You kidding me? I feel like you took me to a whole new level in there. Really? Yeah. Yeah
00:08:56I'm really excited about tomorrow's private session. Oh, actually you need to get me a signed release
00:09:01My studio doesn't want to be sued by some rich lawyer would never sue you Jen
00:09:05I would totally sue anybody you want me to oh, I'm sure that won't be necessary. But I'm serious Jen
00:09:11Just think of me as your legal eagle ready to dive in and destroy anybody in a moment
00:09:19What did you do to my car you didn't see him see what the kid
00:09:28Taylor
00:09:31Oh
00:09:57Taylor did you just
00:09:59Did you leave the house, honey
00:10:12Oh, wow, you fixed grandpa's clock
00:10:15Wait, is that the time?
00:10:17Okay, I'm late for an appointment. I've got to go if you want to go out the house. Just don't do it alone
00:10:21Okay, I love you. I
00:10:24Love you, too
00:10:30If you noticed anything unusual about Taylor lately I
00:10:35Saw him this morning dropped the package off to him really
00:10:42Yeah, Jennifer is that so surprising no, no, I didn't mean that I went to the basement my son to know sometimes I
00:10:50Just felt like I was wondering because when I went down to the hello, let's save some of that for space. Shall we? Okay
00:10:59Oh
00:11:03So, um, so what's happening tonight? Mm-hmm. Oh
00:11:09Yes, as we talked about last week
00:11:12so
00:11:13Hashtag splitting up. How are you gonna communicate this to the three of them that their family dynamic?
00:11:19It's about to change. Well, we don't know that's that's why we're here seeing you. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm
00:11:25Is that what you would like to talk about?
00:11:27Yeah
00:11:29Mm-hmm. That's that's why we're here great
00:11:33Eric
00:11:35Yes, would you like to contribute to this? Sure. I'm just tired of
00:11:41at all the
00:11:42distrust the
00:11:45Disinterest
00:11:46the dislike
00:11:48We're gonna be single. Maybe it's best just to get this over with. Okay better for everyone. I hear you brother. I hear you
00:11:56So here's what we'll do. Okay. Okay, we will approach how you would like this conversation with your children
00:12:05Unspooling
00:12:07We don't know how to unspool it. That's why we're here. That's why we're talking to you, right?
00:12:13I'm sensing a little bit of anger from you Jen
00:12:15I'm gonna be honest with you and I think that you should get your vitamin D tested
00:12:20You could schedule a test from quest right at your home, so I'm not angry actually and there's nothing wrong with my vitamin D
00:12:28Can I just say you're diminishing my feelings by putting them all down to a physical ailment?
00:12:32I have a teenage daughter who hates me half the time. I've got a son who doesn't he doesn't want to be touched
00:12:38I'm splitting up from my husband. And you know what? The worst part is we're paying you to water your plants
00:12:45Technically Jen not to correct you but there are not
00:12:48Plants, you know, they they are flowering plants, but they're not flowers or plants. It's it's important. We use the right terminology
00:12:56His
00:12:58Flowers really bugs me Jennifer. I believe it's a flowering plant obsession
00:13:02And have you noticed he starts spritzing every time he talks about anger? Yes
00:13:07My gosh who who recommended him?
00:13:12And your bag
00:13:14Huh
00:13:17Hey, I got a little break I don't suppose you want to I don't know go back to the house, you know
00:13:25Take a nap or whatever, but are you serious? We're still married
00:13:36In some countries you'd have to Eric
00:13:45I
00:13:58Thought this was your office it is sometimes please sit down
00:14:05And here you go
00:14:08You could have scanned this. Oh, this is a lot more fun, right?
00:14:11Hmm I have to confirm. There's no nuts in any of this, right? No. All right, let's do this
00:14:18This is the best stomping out in town. I can't think of anybody else. I'd rather share it with them
00:14:28Jen this might be a little out of line, but I
00:14:31Care for you. Well, I might not know too much about your personal life. I can see that you're not happy right now
00:14:38Now come on, please tell me how I can help
00:14:44Are you okay
00:14:46No
00:14:48How can I be? Okay when you're unhappy something's happening you feel it, too
00:14:54It's true
00:14:55I've had a connection with you ever since I met you. No, something is happening to your face. Your face is all puffy and red
00:15:04I'll call them
00:15:07My car
00:15:21Everything's under control
00:15:37Oh
00:15:43Why do I feel like we should be smoking cigarettes
00:15:53Please come for the man whose life you just say
00:15:56I
00:16:01Can't believe they gave you peanuts after everything that you said it's not peanuts. It's tree nuts like almonds
00:16:11What is it
00:16:12Sorry
00:16:15Everything okay. Hey, Emma. How are you? Yeah, so sorry. I just lost track of time
00:16:22Wait, what? He's what?
00:16:27Till tomorrow
00:16:30No one good
00:16:42Taylor
00:16:45Is he back no, he left the house he never leaves the house he's not here
00:16:57Don't ever go out of the house alone. Do you understand? What were you doing?
00:17:04What is your problem
00:17:08Where were you
00:17:09Were you at the restaurant right now? What restaurant psycho much chill mom. He's fine
00:17:16At least we're having favorite chicken for dinner tonight
00:17:26Oh
00:17:33Thank you for saving the day just do what I'm told
00:17:40You know for months I've been just so confident that we're doing the right thing and then
00:17:48Today I'm like, what are we doing?
00:17:52Jim
00:17:54Come on we
00:17:56Listen, we can wait. Okay, we don't have to tell him tonight
00:18:01All right
00:18:04Thank you
00:18:06Happy to see me
00:18:08What why?
00:18:09You have a bulge in your pocket. Really just right there. I called it. Oh
00:18:15Yes student had an allergic reaction. So I had to give him an injection
00:18:21You
00:18:22You did this you hate needles, right?
00:18:25I had to give him an injection. Oh my gosh, was there nobody at the studio to do this?
00:18:30He must have freaked. Oh, we're at a
00:18:33Restaurant, I guess somebody somebody gave him almonds restaurant. Who's the who's the guy Richard Richard?
00:18:40He's uh, yeah, he's a young a guy that just joined my class. Huh, but you know, nothing happened
00:18:47I mean we held hands and well, that's it
00:18:50so
00:18:56Congratulations, wait, I can't hold hands with somebody when you're moving out. I knew it'd be a student
00:19:11Everyone's gonna be there. Not everyone. Shut up my guys. Everybody stop fighting, please Taylor's having dinner with us
00:19:18So your dad and I
00:19:22We wanted to talk to the three of you all in the same place about something really important
00:19:29Yeah, this is important
00:19:32Okay. So anyway, you're Taylor. Um, I haven't even hey, we're not done talking here
00:19:47I
00:20:17I
00:20:47I
00:21:06Listen up this is important. We need everyone at dinner
00:21:10Seriously hmm tonight
00:21:13Okay
00:21:14All right, honey, I'm gonna dispense with all the formalities and just bribe you what will it take to get you at dinner?
00:21:21Huh? Why are you doing this to me?
00:21:25It's not it's just tonight honey, okay tomorrow night you can go out with Jacob till 1030 at night
00:21:3211
00:21:3411 30 told you I don't even want to go out with him. It doesn't have to be Jacob
00:21:38It could be any of the Old Testament profits, I'll pay for non-alcoholic beverages and g-rated movies
00:21:45abstinence pamphlets
00:21:49Thank you, whatever I mean it not just for this for everything I
00:21:56We never have to worry about you
00:21:59You've never been able to worry about me. There's a difference
00:22:08I
00:22:32Have to tell you something Jacob I
00:22:34Can't go to Jimmy's party anymore
00:22:37My parents need me at dinner
00:22:40Emma I
00:22:42Bought these an entire box
00:22:45Very optimistic. Let's just do it in my place right now
00:22:48You have a death metal bedspread and little planes hanging above your bed. Okay, they're Jedi starfighters. Oh
00:22:56my god
00:22:58This is why you're still a virgin
00:23:01Guess I looked out then
00:23:06Oh
00:23:25What's this about you not going to Jamie's party Oh parents you want some dinner? Hey
00:23:32Good stuff
00:23:34which is
00:23:37I'm on stage. He's so good at killing people. Oh, hey
00:23:45Eva can't talk to you for a second. Sure
00:23:50There's a party tonight
00:23:57Whatever after all he already bought an entire box
00:24:06Oh
00:24:18Hey
00:24:22Okay, yeah, you know life's but a walking shadow
00:24:30You're doing really well by the way, yeah the scene
00:24:34Thanks
00:24:37So are you and I'm not just saying that because my character would oh, hey
00:24:45You know, they're um, they're showing Denzel's version at the university, um, I thought it'd be fun to see you know his interpretation of
00:24:53Scottish play. I
00:24:56Thought that maybe we could we could do that something else or just you know that are you
00:25:01Asking me to the movie no
00:25:06Maybe yes. Yeah. Yeah
00:25:10Okay
00:25:13Yeah, oh great
00:25:16Okay. Um, well, so yeah, it's it's tonight. So
00:25:21Can't
00:25:22Why is everything happening tonight? Emma Emma your your mother called the office. There's been some kind of family emergency
00:25:30Oh my god
00:25:35Cool cool
00:26:01Oh, there's mom here
00:26:08You promised mom you wouldn't use her voice anymore
00:26:11Hello, Emma. I'm speaking to you. It's a British pop star. So you'll pay closer attention. I can't believe this
00:26:17I thought there was an emergency. There is an emergency at dinner. Mom and dad will separate I
00:26:23Need your help to keep them together
00:26:30That's what this dinner is about I
00:26:34Mean I knew they were having problems, but mom said they were working them out
00:26:40How do you know this
00:26:43The clock can turn back time
00:26:45up to 12 hours
00:26:47What come on? I found out when I fixed it the first day came
00:26:53That's today
00:26:55It came this morning
00:26:56this is the 23rd version of today, which is how I know that mom and dad are splitting up at the end of it and
00:27:02How I know the next words you're going to say this is stupid
00:27:07Yeah, of course you knew that this is stupid. Um, how about this blueberry buttercup fatty pickles?
00:27:25I
00:27:41Think I know how to stop mom, but I need your help with dad. They're making a big mistake
00:27:48How do you know it's a mistake I
00:27:51Mean better now than later spoiler alert love sucks. It never lasts
00:27:58Jacob's a wanker mom and dad are different
00:28:21Oh God, you're done barfing right? Cuz I just cleaned my car. Yeah
00:28:33We're off to a flying start
00:28:42Pull over here
00:28:50I'm sorry. We haven't spent much time together lately
00:29:00We don't really
00:29:01Talk much anymore, do we? I know we're not supposed to talk about the not talking but
00:29:09You can talk right?
00:29:11You just don't want to
00:29:15Look
00:29:17I don't blame you
00:29:19Most of what people say is really stupid. I just wonder if
00:29:26Taylor where are you going?
00:29:49Oh my god, if mom and dad knew what you were doing right now, you'd be so grounded. I love being grounded
00:29:55But that was the easy part. Now is where I need your help
00:30:07Look at him. No wonder they're in trouble
00:30:10Mom's beautiful and he's a mess. It's like he's not even trying anymore
00:30:15And he's smoking again, he's such a loser, how is that our dad it's all we have to work with I know I
00:30:26Have an idea but we need money
00:30:30Taylor is that real?
00:30:34How did you get it the stock market
00:30:38It's not totally ethical
00:30:40Shh
00:30:42It's for a good cause right? Okay, so you're gonna say to him
00:30:45It's a promotion and we're giving free haircuts to everyone in the office and it's your turn. I don't like lying
00:30:53How short do you want
00:30:59We have 60 seconds, this is absolutely necessary
00:31:10I
00:31:41Know oh my god. Oh, no
00:31:45Oh
00:32:08Do you notice this haircut at least
00:32:15Oh my god, oh my god, they're going somewhere together. This is great. I've never gotten in this phone
00:32:33This is huge they went home together we actually did it we'll see it dinner
00:32:46I
00:32:57Know I acted like I didn't care when you first told me I
00:33:04Guess I
00:33:09Guess it's just easier to act like you literally don't care, right?
00:33:13You don't have any control of these things that are happening to you
00:33:21The truth is I can't imagine mom and dad apart
00:33:33Oh crap mom's leaving by herself
00:33:43Um, I'm what
00:33:53What were you doing in the kitchen weird guy with mom
00:34:00I'm not breaking into anyone's car. I'm not doing it
00:34:04I'm not strong enough. Please. I'll explain later
00:34:12I
00:34:42I
00:34:46Isn't gonna solve anything she's a shock, but not that kind of a shock
00:34:54She needs a vision
00:34:57Don't forget to stop at the mini-mart and buy favorite chicken for dinner tonight. Yeah. Yeah, I know I'm on my way
00:35:02Who's that?
00:35:05Yelling me from the street
00:35:08It's showtime
00:35:10Hey Siri, call Dylan
00:35:22Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
00:35:25Creeps in this petty pace day-to-day to the last syllable of recorded time out out brief candle
00:35:33It is a tale told by an idiot filled with sound and fury signifying nothing
00:35:38My spouse has died but yours still lives a
00:35:44Chance to change your fate and fate to you alone gives
00:35:47See the light and change your way
00:35:50change your way and
00:35:52change today
00:35:59It was really okay, oh my god, it was so much better than okay, you totally blew her mind
00:36:04Okay, and what was that part at the end that wasn't in the play I wrote it to fit the occasion Wow, you're really good
00:36:12Thank you
00:36:17Thank you again so much for doing this I
00:36:27I'll see you tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow and tomorrow
00:36:34Oh
00:36:48Yeah, oh yes, so
00:36:50No, I'm sorry. I forgot about that. I just saw it lying by the side of the street
00:36:55I thought that could stab somebody it would leave it there
00:36:58Maybe a crazy man. Hey
00:37:01everybody oh
00:37:03Hey, hon, can we talk? Yeah
00:37:09It's good, right
00:37:11Your father and I wanted to talk to the three of you all in the same place about something important
00:37:17But we're not gonna do that tonight instead. We're just gonna have a nice family dinner. All right, right dig in
00:37:25Thank you very much, are you kidding me Dylan Barlow I
00:37:31I
00:37:33Knew it. I knew his face. I couldn't remember his name
00:37:36He's your friend, right? No
00:37:39Yes, how do you know Dylan? Well, his mom takes my Wednesday morning class and he just followed me around a supermarket
00:37:48Doing Shakespeare quotes, huh?
00:37:51That's really weird. Why would he do that? Yeah, that's what I'm gonna find out. Actually, are you doing I'm just gonna text his mom
00:37:58Oh stop
00:37:59It was my idea I
00:38:04Thought that it would change your plans and it did right my plans
00:38:12With dad
00:38:14To get divorced
00:38:16No
00:38:18No, you've been spying on us. Yeah, but there is no but we do not snoop in this house
00:38:22We just don't we face each other from a place of honesty. Oh, yeah
00:38:27Is that what you told the weird guy you met for drinks before you went to his car and pulled down his pants
00:38:31Yeah, ma. Emma. What are you? What is she talking about? Oh
00:38:35A new private we met at a restaurant. He had allergic reaction. It was nothing but I had to give him an injection
00:38:40You hate needles. Mm-hmm
00:38:46Congratulations mom and I are separating everybody. I knew it'd be a student sweetie. No
00:38:56Emma
00:39:05Shit and we didn't mean to spring it on you like that
00:39:26Oh
00:39:33Well, at least I won't have to get used to sleeping alone I wouldn't go there if I were you
00:39:42So
00:39:45We're doing it tonight
00:39:47Where will you stay? I
00:39:50Don't really know Dan has an extra room
00:39:54Okay, I think he's disgusting I don't suppose you want to move out don't put it on me
00:40:03Max
00:40:18Rock out in your own room with your own headphones. Nobody wants to hear this
00:40:23It's not true and leave your sister alone. Why you why you always annoying her see this space stay away
00:40:30So you're gonna tell Taylor about dinner, then you're gonna talk to Max. Yes
00:40:35Guys, mom and I need everyone at
00:40:38dinner
00:40:40It looks a lot worse than when we put it in storage
00:40:43What does it matter? It doesn't work. It's kind of creepy. It's got these scuff marks all over it
00:40:48Scratch up here looks like the minute hands missing you guys didn't drop it. Did you not yet?
00:40:54I'll take it out of the basement Taylor and I think we can fix it
00:41:14Taylor
00:41:18Oh
00:41:31Wow
00:41:34That's incredible
00:41:37It's very fragile Oh
00:41:40Right
00:41:42Oh
00:41:45Amazing there's a package here for President Obama himself
00:41:51Wow
00:41:53Well, that is amazing. Why are you moving out tonight?
00:41:58Taylor were you listening in on our conversation because you know, we've talked to you about listening before
00:42:06Well, that is amazing promise me you'll never leave us
00:42:19Oh God, I love you and your sister your brother so much. I never wanted
00:42:29That is amazing are things okay between you and mom
00:42:32Yeah, yeah, it's fine no matter what happens I
00:42:40Love you and your brother and sister very much
00:42:45Fist bump
00:42:49I'll see you a little later. All right. Oh
00:42:55Forgot my coat
00:43:03Oh
00:43:07Hey Eric, Charlie, you have a plastic bag? No. Yes. Okay. Never mind
00:43:26Hey Devin, what's up? I'm sorry, mr. D, but I got some not-so-great news about your apartment
00:43:31Apparently Harry Styles called and wanted your apartment for his LAPD
00:43:35Offered a bunch of cash and they gave it to not cool. What what are you talking about? And I get it
00:43:40I mean, I'm totally a styler, but also not cool
00:43:43No, no, no, Devin
00:43:44But the good news is I checked out another place that we've managed that you will love I could show it to you this afternoon
00:43:49Great. Okay. Well, then let's go
00:43:51Oh
00:43:57Thanks
00:43:59How's Devin? Is he helping? Oh, yeah, he's a he's a real go-getter. Yeah
00:44:05I don't know what I would have done without him in my divorces
00:44:07Gotta have a bachelor pad until you start putting it to good use, right?
00:44:13How's Justin handling it who
00:44:15Justin your son. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, he's great. I think our relationships probably
00:44:20It's as good as it's ever gonna be, you know
00:44:24I'm gonna go get a latte. Yeah, grab me one, too
00:44:30Hey dad, oh
00:44:32This is for a friend terrible habit. I should he should quit. Yeah. Weren't you at school? They canceled it
00:44:39You expect me to believe that I believe you were holding that cigarette for a friend. I
00:44:42Believe that I believe you were holding that cigarette for a friend fair enough. What can I do for you?
00:44:47Well, I have these gift cards from your last birthday that you haven't used
00:44:50These yeah brand-new unlike your smoking habit, which I'm willing to keep a secret
00:44:57If what if you let me give you a makeover
00:45:02What me no, what are you talking about? Yeah, honey
00:45:05I really do appreciate the thought and the general weirdness of your sudden appearance here
00:45:12but trust me
00:45:14You need one
00:45:17Desperately
00:45:19Are you sure honey? Yes, I'm sure you don't feel like myself
00:45:23Honestly, you just have to be confident. But when you see mom, please tell her this was your idea. Okay?
00:45:28Okay, I had nothing to do with it. You did it for her. No, no, no, no, honey
00:45:32This isn't a good idea for me to be lying to your mother right now
00:45:35Oh
00:45:40What happened to you you like it decided to change my look
00:45:46In time for being single. No, I did it all for you. I
00:45:50Don't believe that
00:45:52Emma told me to say that
00:45:54She showed up at my work and she gave me a makeover Emma. Yeah, well, wasn't she at school? She said it was canceled
00:46:02That's weird, yeah
00:46:05Tip of the iceberg weirdest day I've ever experienced. Well, maybe it's just cuz you know what's happening tonight
00:46:12Hey
00:46:13Hello
00:46:15What is the deal with the deals? I don't know. Let's find out. Let's find out together. Come on in
00:46:22How are you good, how are you?
00:46:24How are you good, how are you?
00:46:31So, um
00:46:33Sorry family emergency. So this is happening tonight. Mm-hmm. I hear that but what if what if it doesn't
00:46:43What do we have to do together to keep you two from uncoupling?
00:46:46I thought we were telling the kids tonight at dinner and that's what we've spoken about feels a little soon
00:46:51That's not to rush into things. I'm sorry. Did something change because last week you were so last week. Am I right?
00:46:57Hahaha, I say so many things, you know words just come out of my mouth
00:47:01It's just trying things but this week I'm getting this vibe right there
00:47:05You two are just great people great people who can either hey stay together or make the same mistakes with less great people
00:47:13I don't know just spitballing here. Why don't we just stay together you guys? Are you serious?
00:47:19I'm detecting a little bit of anger in that voice. Well, you just turned around after months of discussion and change your mind
00:47:26I don't even know what I'm doing. There's nothing there. There's nothing there. I
00:47:34Know what I'm doing. I'm keeping you two from burning it all down. What are you doing?
00:47:39Cooling you off cool off
00:47:43How about a candy you guys huh? Let's sweeten the deal for the deals. Oh
00:47:48You just have a great last name. I don't like my last name, but we can't pick our Danish stepfathers
00:47:53Nothing was ever good enough for him
00:47:56I'm okay
00:48:01With the water
00:48:04Professional who recommended him bill bill from your work
00:48:08You're right. It was a hundred percent. And by the way, you have lost like ten years. This haircut is so cute
00:48:18Does that mean we're touching each other again?
00:48:21If so, maybe we go back to the house
00:48:24Take a nap
00:48:26Are you serious? Oh, we're still married
00:48:31Some countries you'd have to
00:48:49Oh
00:48:54Turns out all we needed to do to have a good nap was split up. No wonder half the country's divorced
00:49:02Why do we stop trying
00:49:07It's just easier right
00:49:10Let's give into it
00:49:13Entropy
00:49:16You ever think there's a way back what
00:49:24You ever think
00:49:33What did you say nothing nothing
00:49:39Mm-hmm. Oh
00:49:44Are you all right? Yeah fine
00:49:51Yeah, I
00:49:53Gotta make a word call. I got a new private. Mmm lucky guy. How do you know? It's a guy?
00:49:59lucky guess
00:50:01I'll leave you in private. So you make your call
00:50:04All right
00:50:08Now as you can see everything is up to the minute cutting-edge state-of-the-art
00:50:12Everything that the modern hot single man, especially with this look could ask for okay
00:50:16And I want to be clear about this. This place is available immediately. Oh, yeah, it's all yours
00:50:21No worries and wait till the new hookups see this place. I'm talking movie
00:50:26Enthusiastic consent home break. Okay, and most of the residents are single so you don't have to deal with any annoying kids
00:50:33All right right this way
00:50:36Right
00:50:40And you are going to love this place, okay
00:50:46Oh gets a little malfunctioning, okay, hold on let's do look
00:50:51Here we go. Welcome to your new bachelor
00:50:54Oh my lord
00:51:01It was perfect this morning, you know, I'm sorry, mr. Deal get this fixed up and
00:51:13What am I doing
00:51:15Oh
00:51:21God I forgot about that. Yeah, who would put it there? Maybe a crazy man what?
00:51:29Were you two
00:51:31What?
00:51:32Never mind
00:51:34honey
00:51:36Can we talk?
00:51:37Who came up with the idea of a deadline?
00:51:40Maybe we you know could do it next week or a couple of weeks or the first of the month
00:51:45But you've talked about being in limbo
00:51:48Don't you want to move on with your life as a single guy? You know, that's not what I want
00:51:54And and if there's any chance that we can work this out, isn't it worth waiting a moment? Do you really believe that I
00:52:01I
00:52:06Know I haven't been fully present for a while
00:52:13But you know ever since Taylor was born, I'm like a ghost in this house. I certainly fell off your radar. I
00:52:24Just
00:52:26Three kids we have three kids. So where have you been?
00:52:32You're just so much better at it than me
00:52:35Especially with Taylor. I could never reach him at all and I can never reach you. I
00:52:43Just I don't know. It's checked out. I guess I had one foot out the door for months
00:52:48But today something changed really
00:52:54God I I don't want to live my life without my family without my kids
00:53:01Without you, how do I know you won't have one foot out of the door again tomorrow?
00:53:09I'm right here fully committed
00:53:16And you'll let Emma keep dressing you
00:53:22Yes, I will Oh
00:53:24Oh
00:53:28Emma you can go to your party. Oh
00:53:36That's a lot of excitement for a party, oh I'm not going I'm just happy you know to have the option
00:53:47Okay
00:53:54I
00:54:25I
00:54:27Got
00:54:28What are you doing?
00:54:31you know, my
00:54:32Grandfather always said the clock can help you now and then it was always broken
00:54:37You never figure out the gears or the movements, but look at that
00:54:42Galileo said that a pendulum will stay in motion unless a force acts to make it stop
00:54:47Otherwise, it'll just go forward and backward and forward and backward
00:54:53Great-grandfather be very proud of you to
00:54:55Text from your realer your new bachelor pad is clean and ready
00:54:59No, wait, I didn't want to do this front of the kids, but so much for being fully committed
00:55:02No, this is a miscommunication supposed to be a trial separation. You were gonna stay at dad. You said Dan's was gross
00:55:09I was trying to find a place that was comfortable for the kids. I'm for your new girlfriend. There's no new girlfriend
00:55:14Just a lonely bachelor pad. There's no bachelor pad. You better hope there is cuz you need somewhere to stay tonight
00:55:20And you know what it's lucky for you you have a pet suitcase under your bed no
00:55:35Should I do the honors
00:55:45Does he look tired to you
00:55:49I
00:56:19I
00:56:49Oh
00:57:06God hey guys, what are you talking about? Nothing to do with you? Why you guys I was leaving me out of stuff
00:57:19I
00:57:36Don't want him involved with this involved in what have a nice trip better
00:57:42How?
00:57:43How'd you know that was gonna happen?
00:57:46I
00:57:47Taylor discovered that grandpa's clock can turn back time
00:57:52Seriously, that's so cool
00:57:59Well
00:58:00It really works. You can't tell anyone about this, please
00:58:04Just I don't know go to school like it's a normal day, but I want to help you guys with whatever you're doing
00:58:09Think of us working together turn back the clock. He's stuck with us now
00:58:13Fine max we can't afford any screw-ups. This is a very delicate situation
00:58:21Mom and dad are going to break up at dinner if we don't do everything exactly, right? Wait what?
00:58:30Pay attention max the clock is aging it can't take much more this day. Maybe your last chance
00:58:38Let me help
00:58:39They're my mom and dad, too
00:58:43Oh
00:58:49Obvious dad practice not mom ten pairs of underwear and two shirts
00:58:53So both max and Emma are sick today. That's right. Thanks for your help. That sounds so real. It's even better than the Obama filter
00:59:01What are you doing down here? I'm gonna drive max to school today. So you're off the hook to school
00:59:06But which and Taylor honey, did you know that? Um, we're having dinner tonight already told him
00:59:12We're all really looking forward to it. It'll be so nice having dinner together for a change. Yeah, it's been a while. Oh
00:59:21Shoot watch out what?
00:59:34Are you sure you can afford this we need $8,000 day trading this morning
00:59:38Is that like drug dealing no, we knew which stocks were going up in the first hour
00:59:42So I put all my babysitting money into them
00:59:44Get mom and dad. Let's go to Vegas. We can get one of those high roller suites and have a sibling camp out
00:59:49I
01:00:04Just sent me from school to get information for a report
01:00:08Max this is Richard my student. What's up, bro? Cool duds. Yeah, you can leave now. Wait, don't be rude. All right, please leave now
01:00:16I'm so sorry. No, it's it's cool. It's cool. Yeah rose on a mission. Catch you later. Okay
01:00:24Tell me about your first day with dad. How did you get here? I gotta get back to school go first date
01:00:29Um, okay. So your dad had tickets to a symphony and it was classical music, which I'm not into but I thought he was cute
01:00:35So I said yes
01:00:37We went there and there was this concert hall and next to it was a food truck selling beignets. What Oh a beignet
01:00:43It's like a donut bread. They don't have a hole in it. Oh anyway, so anyway, your dad was like, oh they smell so good
01:00:49We have to try one. We're running late, but I was like, ah, okay and oh god, I'll never forget that first bite
01:00:57They were so delicious and then it started snowing
01:01:03It was so crazy because like it never snows in town and it was just so new
01:01:10And it was just like the city your dad
01:01:17Life it was just
01:01:19It was packed into this one
01:01:21Magical moment. Are you okay?
01:01:24Um, yeah. Yeah, sweetie. I I just hope that someday you can experience that with someone because it really was special
01:01:34Is it still a circle
01:01:36Is it still a circle
01:01:39What sweetie even without the hole a beignet? No, honey. It's it's shaped like a square
01:01:45Wait, what's this project for? I have to go
01:01:48Wait, Max. How are you getting back to school?
01:01:56Symphony snow and a beignet truck a what truck like a donut but square and hole it
01:02:00I have friends in a school orchestra, but where do we get a beignet truck? I have an idea about snow
01:02:07Oh
01:02:12Does he even care about the fish? Oh, I was just taking them
01:02:20Nemo
01:02:25Nothing to do with this you did this for her. No, no, no, no, honey
01:02:36I
01:02:42Checked out another place that we managed that you will love
01:03:06I
01:03:36I
01:04:06I
01:04:22Bumblebee stole my phone
01:04:25In position make the call good job Max, we'll finish everything at home. You know what to do now
01:04:32Call for you on my line. It's Barack Obama
01:04:36What?
01:04:43Hello
01:04:45Mr. President, I've been trying to reach you all day. I need a bachelor man. Well, what about Michelle? Okay
01:04:55Acme in the base mission accomplished
01:05:04According to find a phone you stole your Jens kid. Come on Taylor's fault. Let's go bumblebee
01:05:16Oh my god, this is amazing
01:05:26Did you I did not I I swear
01:05:33It was pretty fantastic that date that whole night
01:05:43This is unusual
01:05:46Smells good sure does she get a beignet
01:05:53We're gonna have to then yeah, come on
01:06:05Where's max
01:06:08I
01:06:10Just as good say we're back down back down
01:06:12I was too terrified even eat afraid you were gonna slap him. I asked you to kiss me
01:06:16I would have kissed you at any time during that day. I probably would have kissed you. Hello
01:06:21Now you tell me
01:06:29So you didn't do this I didn't do this
01:06:32Shh it was max our max. He grilled me about our first date this morning
01:06:47Wait, it's snowing. No, this is fantastic
01:07:03I
01:07:05Want to stay with you and the kids? There's no other home for me. I want you to stay too
01:07:20Hi Stuart little judgment day
01:07:25What happened find a phone I told you to turn it off for God, you know this little dude, yeah, he's my brother
01:07:32Unfortunately
01:07:33Neither of my parents are home right now. So, uh, thank you for bringing him back, but I'll just oh take it from here
01:07:40What's going on here? Nothing?
01:07:42Look like nothing. Maybe your mom wants to hear about this. Let's go
01:07:49Tell your mom Oh
01:07:51Richard
01:07:52What are you doing here? Your kids stole my phone max. Is that true? I'm sorry. Who are you? Who's this guy?
01:07:59My student friend or yeah, how do you know my wife? Okay, let's not do this
01:08:04I just want to let Jen know what a kid was up Eric. Hey, I thought that was you
01:08:10Seems to be
01:08:12Someone here has my phone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Who's this guy?
01:08:15Devin is I'm Eric's realtor realtor really and that bachelor pad. It is ready. Wow. Are you kidding? Hey, you know what?
01:08:22It's all good. I'm just gonna get going. You want to go with him?
01:08:25Nobody wants a beignet because they turn this off
01:08:43Quiet
01:08:45Mom and dad. Oh, we've been trying to do today's figure out how to keep you guys together
01:08:50And you keep on screwing it up. Okay, max we can talk about this inside at dinner
01:08:54No, we do not want to go to dinner because that's where you always announce it
01:08:59Look, don't take my word for it. Taylor's relive the day 38 times max
01:09:03That's and every time you screw it up killer has to rewind grandpa's old clock
01:09:08Taylor
01:09:24I
01:09:54Put thermometers on lightbulbs
01:10:03Why would thieves only steal
01:10:06Why not
01:10:08Okay, so your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you all in the same place about something important
01:10:17We need everyone at dinner
01:10:25Where did that money come from
01:10:34So your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you I thought they weren't pretty good
01:10:40I
01:10:51Get the stage
01:10:55So we need everybody at dinner tonight I just want to play a writing contest that includes a four-year scholarship to college
01:11:02Oh
01:11:06There's just one condition the parents of the winning student have to stay married for all four years
01:11:11That's a very unusual condition for a scholarship. I mean, it's a religious foundation
01:11:16I think they just want to promote marriage, you know, but it's not a big deal
01:11:20You guys are married the American Foundation for theater and marriage. Oh, sweetie. That seems bogus
01:11:27I'm sorry. I'll have to do more research
01:11:32I
01:11:35Think the foundation is bogus. We just invent a new foundation, right? We need to try cancer again
01:11:40I know I can nail it this time. No, look at the clock. We can't start over anymore. We don't do anything
01:11:45They're splitting up at dinner. I know
01:11:49What do you think Taylor
01:11:52Why don't you say something for once I'm turning it back
01:12:03Oh
01:12:10God
01:12:12Guess that settles that
01:12:14Stuck with today. It's not my fault. Of course it is
01:12:17This is why I don't want you around why I always avoid you you screw up
01:12:23Everything because you never think I can do anything. You can't you're walking catastrophe both of you
01:12:30Don't pick on him
01:12:33Shouldn't mean it little girl
01:12:42Wow
01:12:46I'll never get this chance again
01:12:50There's rumble thunder coming
01:12:55Rising from the empty ground
01:12:58I'm the cover for this floor
01:13:03Moving high above it all
01:13:06They never taught me
01:13:10Away come as I hit the ground don't pray
01:13:27I
01:13:45Actually want to collaborate if you're still talking to me
01:13:57All right, well we can say the music part
01:14:27I
01:14:57I
01:15:09Hey, take a seat, okay
01:15:16Hey, hi
01:15:20Dad take a seat
01:15:27I
01:15:32This is the story of a couple Jan and Derek who have everything except for each other
01:15:42By the end of today they won't be a couple anymore
01:15:46Just can't figure out how to live together
01:15:54Can't be together
01:15:57Ready
01:16:28When one moment might have changed everything when one moment I'd made sense of the ring
01:16:48That was
01:16:51That was
01:16:54Twist
01:16:57Was that
01:17:27Dad
01:17:57You
01:18:27You
01:18:46Sorry
01:18:48We ought to do these sibling campouts more often yeah once in a while, I don't want it to lose its specialness
01:18:54Hey, we should probably return these right
01:19:24I
01:19:37See a dinner
01:19:39You
01:19:49Did he suspect anything right like
01:19:52To this clock reset the same day 86 times before it exploded. I don't know did he hey good morning
01:19:58What are you guys doing down here? Oh, no, we were just helping Taylor clean up. Mm-hmm
01:20:04Such a bummer about the clock
01:20:06Just broke
01:20:08Come on guys, let's go
01:20:12Come on bro, I saved you shotgun
01:20:38Oh
01:21:08I
01:21:38I
01:22:08I
01:22:38I
01:23:08I
01:23:38You
01:24:08You
01:24:38You
01:25:08You
01:25:38You
01:26:08You
01:26:38You