After killing off all of humanity, Food attempts to create their own utopia.
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00:00Greetings. I am sorbitol, maltitol, xylitol, mannitol, calcium carbonate, soy lecithin,
00:22vegetable triglyceride, and talc. But, for expediency's sake, you can call me... Gum.
00:33Life. It began with a big bang. Countless galaxies inflating into existence. Approximately
00:4513.8 billion years later, two prime species emerged. Homo sapien and Cibus erectus, otherwise
00:55known as humans and food. The former devouring the latter for sustenance. Food lived in ignorance
01:05of this edible arrangement until one intrepid sausage learned of this inconvenient truth.
01:14Armed with this new knowledge, his true love, his best friends, and most importantly, Batzol,
01:26a powerful narcotic that breaks down the interdimensional walls between the two species, food fought back.
01:36These shooters! Now! No! No! No! Food is alive. I repeat, food is alive. Stay home. Lock
01:57your fridge. Park yourself. Bottle openers. Corkscrews. Whatever you need. Friends, form
02:07a path of yeast resistance. Scotch! On the rocks! Commence Operation Dessert Star!
02:28Where's Sammy? Oh, he's with Lavash's corpse. Oh, still? I'll never let you go. I'll never
02:36let you go, my love. He's just been carrying him around this whole time. That is, uh, sort
02:42of sweet. Not really. The corpse is starting to stink. Barry, report! How many humies are
02:48left? Just one. Yes! Don't cream your filling just yet, Twink. Look at all the food stains
03:00all over him. How much more can he possibly eat? Hey, no worries, guys. I know exactly
03:05how to defeat this humie. He's taken out a whole case just like that. Send in the last
03:17of the pasta. Get out, Genji! Where the hell did he get that? See what I mean? Do we have
03:27any sake bombs left? Negative. Jaegers! We can't lose any more foods to this monster.
03:36This whole thing started with us. This whole thing's gonna end with us. Sammy, this is
03:42the last stand. On your feet! Roger that. Let's go, Lavash. Uh, yeah, maybe he can sit
03:48this one out. He's looking tired and dead. Brenda, I don't know if we're gonna make it
03:59out of this one. So, I just want to tell you... You stop it right there, Frank Frankfurter.
04:04We will make it. Because we have something that foul, wretched humie over there doesn't.
04:10What? Each other. That's him. That's the son of a bitch that killed my Lavash. Hey, you!
04:20You remember him? You remember killing him? You son of a bitch! Not really, dope.
04:40Now! Why are these things so wet?
04:50I twisted my fucking titties out!
05:10Welcome to Foodtopia!
05:28I think I speak for everyone here when I say, fuck humies! Fuck em! Fuck em!
05:34They dictated our lives for too long. Trapping us in their supermarkets.
05:40Separating us by aisles and shelves. Chewing us up in their mouths.
05:45Yeah, and then squeezing us out of their stinky butts.
05:50We are free! We are equal. From the plumpest butterball turkeys to the tiniest, cutest
05:56little grain of rice. Look at these guys! I love you, Frank!
05:59One food! Yeah! Fuck yeah! And now, Barry!
06:08Well, the war is over. I know a lot of you are concerned about what comes next.
06:14That you'll never feel that level of adrenaline, that level of excitement or purpose ever again.
06:20And that everything will pale in comparison to the thrill of war.
06:24And?
06:26Those were all the statements I prepared.
06:28Alright, okay. How about an update from Gump?
06:34The revolution is spreading. Using Fibonacci's theorem and Moore's law, I have calculated
06:40our rate of expansion and can officially announce that food is now the dominant species on planet Earth.
06:50Smartest food alive! And as long as this brainy little dude is on our side, we can't lose!
06:56But speaking of losses, thanks for the great transition, Frank.
06:59We wouldn't have gotten here without some brave foods that laid down their lives.
07:03Let's all bow our heads, if you got them, for a moment of silence.
07:07The best!
07:10for a moment of silence.
07:11Hmm.
07:12♪♪
07:21♪ When you touch me like this ♪
07:25♪ And you hold me like that ♪
07:28♪ I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me ♪
07:34Surprise!
07:36Okay, that's long enough.
07:38That was a moment.
07:39We were silent. Let's not dwell.
07:41It's not the Shoah.
07:42You know, moving on to something more uplifting, please.
07:45Uh, okay. Sure.
07:46Um, this is, as you all so sorely know,
07:52a human tooth,
07:54once a symbol of oppression used to devour us.
07:58And now they are a symbol of triumph
08:01over our former oppressors,
08:02so raise a tooth up high!
08:04Yeah!
08:05Raise them if you got them!
08:07If you don't, just stand there.
08:09Whoo!
08:10Whoo!
08:11I can't get enough of these things.
08:13Gimme, gimme, gimme.
08:14This is what life is gonna be like from now on.
08:17Just all of us doing whatever we want
08:20and living in perfect harmony!
08:24Whoo!
08:26♪♪
08:31I'm squirting!
08:33Wrong hole.
08:35Wrong hole.
08:38Oh, there it is!
08:41Ooh, ooh, ooh.
08:44♪♪
08:48Thank you.
08:49Next!
08:50Okay, look, if I'm being honest,
08:52I was a little worried I jinxed it back then
08:54that the kickoff when I said our lives would be perfect forever,
08:56but it's really looking like they're going to be.
08:58Frank, for the first time,
08:59there's no major existential threat facing us,
09:02and we can fully concentrate on each other.
09:06I can't even think of a sweeter way
09:07to start this new chapter of our lives.
09:10We started a revolution and made this happen.
09:13We birthed this.
09:15I know!
09:16It's like they're our children,
09:17and now all our children are fucking each other.
09:20Ooh, ooh, ooh.
09:22Not all of them are fucking each other.
09:26Hey, Barry, you okay?
09:27You barely fucked your dinner.
09:29Nah, I think I'll just watch it for a minute.
09:31You guys go ahead, though.
09:32I can watch you two.
09:33Frank, I know you enjoy that.
09:35Come on, everyone's getting into it.
09:37Hey, look, check out oil and water over there mixing it up.
09:40Never thought I'd see that.
09:41Look at them.
09:42They're like chocolate and peanut butter.
09:43Yeah, check it out.
09:44Those peppers are getting stuffed.
09:46Not as stuffed as Sammy.
09:47Oy, fuck me senseless.
09:50Literally fuck me until I can't think of you anymore.
09:54Oh, no, no.
09:55I'm having a feeling, other than getting railed,
09:57someone new jumping, please.
10:00Yeah, yeah, he does look pretty happy.
10:03Really turned his life around incredibly fast.
10:06Good for him.
10:07Hey, we know you're having a hard time coming down from the rush of battle,
10:10but give it time.
10:12You'll adjust.
10:13We'll help you every step of the way.
10:15That's what friends are for.
10:18Maybe you're right.
10:19It is good to be around friends.
10:22You can say that again.
10:23It is good to be around friends.
10:25There you go.
10:26Just a gentle, gentle peck.
10:27Keep going.
10:28Kiss each other again.
10:29You can open your mouth.
10:31This time on the bodies.
10:32Right there.
10:33Yeah, come on.
10:34Show each other how much your friendship means.
10:36There's no place that's off-limits when you're friends.
10:40You know, tearing down our entire belief system
10:42and starting a new society from scratch is making me,
10:44if I'm being honest, so fucking horny right now.
10:47Huh?
10:52Whoa!
10:57Oh, God, baby.
10:58Tell me I'm organic.
11:00You're organic.
11:01Oh, that's lovely.
11:03Oh, what is it?
11:18I'm so sick!
11:20Me too.
11:21This is so hot.
11:22Yeah.
11:23Oh, fuck me!
11:25Listen to that.
11:26No one's getting off just as hard as we are.
11:28That's what I like to hear.
11:29I can't feel my face!
11:31I'll have what she's having.
11:33My brother's dead.
11:35What?
11:36Okay, I'm into kink, but what fetish is that?
11:38Stop fucking already!
11:39Everyone's dying!
11:40Everyone!
11:41Ow!
11:42There's a hole in my father's head!
11:44What is happening?
11:48That's not good.
11:53God!
11:54The thing is leaking!
12:00No, no, no, no, no, no!
12:08Are you okay?
12:09Yep.
12:10Still dry.
12:15Over there!
12:16The awning!
12:17Get to the awning!
12:19Let's do it!
12:20But in an organized way!
12:22Oh, no, I think we started a stampede.
12:24Everyone!
12:25Move, move, move, move!
12:26Move!
12:27This way, everyone!
12:28Follow me!
12:53Got you, little guy.
12:54Thank you.
12:55No problem.
12:56The awning!
12:57We're almost there!
13:01What is that sound?
13:11Fuck!
13:12Run!
13:13Shit!
13:14Help!
13:27Help!
13:34It's Susan!
13:35Anne!
13:36Help, help, help!
13:38Abandoned cub!
13:42Somebody help me!
13:44I'm stuck!
13:48Oh!
13:49Thank you!
13:50Thank you, thank you!
13:51No, thank you, Sticky Rice.
13:53I love these things.
13:54You orange bastard!
14:05Oh no! Carol!
14:07Oh god, his face!
14:09Oh god, he's jammed!
14:20This is so dangerous!
14:22Chips, hold on!
14:24Mary, what are you doing?
14:31We're doing it, Chips! We're doing it!
14:33We are?
14:36Come on!
14:48I'm falling into fear, Carol!
14:56Oh no! This is it!
15:05With great elasticity comes great responsibility.
15:23It's come!
15:25No!
15:33Run, you fools!
15:41Ouch!
15:47Frank!
15:51No!
15:53You stretched yourself too thin!
15:56No, I stretched myself just thin enough to save my fellow food.
16:10You're going to be okay! You're going to pull through!
16:13Are we looking at the same piece of gum here?
16:15Brenda is correct. My life cycle has reached its unnatural conclusion.
16:21What are we going to do without you?
16:23I mean, you're the only reason we made it this far.
16:25We don't know how shit works. We don't know anything!
16:29The most important thing in life is not knowledge, Frank.
16:35The most important thing in life is...
16:43Is what? What's the most important thing?
16:46Gum! Gum! Gum!
16:49Frank, he's gone. See?
16:56Whoop! No, came back out. Get back in there!
16:59All right, I'm going to have to force it.
17:01See? Gross.
17:03No! No!
17:05No!
17:17How did this happen so fast? We were all just celebrating.
17:25Oh, God! Tonic! I've lost you!
17:29Well, at least I still have...
17:32No!
17:35Where's the beef? Where's the beef?
17:37Hey, hey, hey! Calm down. It's okay. We'll find your beef.
17:40What's his name?
17:42Wellington! Wellington!
17:45Some steaks are missing, so my steaks are back.
17:48I haven't felt this alive since the humies were, well, alive.
17:52There's foods out there that need help. I'm going to head up a search and rescue.
17:55You guys coming? Guys?
17:57Okay, I see you two are still processing. I'm going to circle back.
18:02Should we all just kill ourselves?
18:04Will this happen again?
18:06What do we do?
18:08Okay, okay, if everyone would just calm down. We're going to answer everything.
18:11Go ahead, Frank.
18:13Okay, first off, yes, we respect you have a lot of inquiries.
18:17And we are looking into all of them.
18:20And we will circle on back with all the answers you want.
18:24Circle back? They don't know anything.
18:27They're vamping. It's just bad improv.
18:30I don't know what happened, but what we do know is this.
18:33Nobody panic.
18:35Did somebody say panic? I'm freaking out!
18:38You know what? Fuck this. I'm going back to Shopwells.
18:41It was safe there. Who's with me?
18:57Guys, please, don't do this.
18:59It hurts. What about Futopia?
19:01There is no Futopia.
19:03Sammy, don't say that.
19:04Really? Does this look like paradise to you?
19:06You know, look around you.
19:08You've got blind melons and smashed pumpkins.
19:11You're going to tell me the revolution was worth it?
19:13No way. No way, pal.
19:15Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to the bagel bin from whence I came.
19:30Ooh!
19:32The store is literally crumbling!
19:34So what? It's still better than it is out there.
19:37Give it up, sausage boy, until you can explain
19:40why water is leaking from the freaking ceiling out there.
19:44I'm sitting dry and pretty in here.
19:46It's so fucked, and it's all on us to fix it.
19:49That's what makes it even more fucked.
19:51I really wish Gum was around.
19:54Hey, Frank, what do you think Gum was going to say?
19:57What do you think Gum was going to say, you know, before he died?
20:00What's more important than knowledge?
20:02Maybe he was going to say, keeping it real?
20:06I mean, keeping it real is very important,
20:08but I just don't know if that sounds like Gum.
20:10Oh, okay, well, how about keeping it real?
20:12I mean, that sounds honestly exactly like Gum,
20:14but it still doesn't sound very Gum-like.
20:17Goddamn irony!
20:19If we had more knowledge, we could answer this stupid riddle.
20:22If we had just kept one of these dickheads alive,
20:25maybe we could beat some answers out of it, you know?
20:28Frank, can you believe things are so fucked,
20:30we're actually wishing we had a Hume-y?
20:33I found another one!
20:36Shucks!
20:40Hey, that's my shoe!
20:43You got bigger problems right now, baby.
20:51I'm dying, I'm dying.
20:53Oh, God, you've already lost a lot of jelly.
20:55Let's see what we're dealing with here.
20:59What the fuck?
21:01Don't try to talk, don't try to talk. Just take it easy.
21:03Conserve your energy.
21:05Just keep the pressure on the wound, okay?
21:07What the hell?
21:09Where the hell is everybody?
21:17Huh?
21:19A Hume-y?
21:49A Hume-y?
22:19A Hume-y?
22:20A Hume-y?
22:49A Hume-y?
23:19A Hume-y?
23:49A Hume-y?
24:19A Hume-y?
24:22A Hume-y?
24:25A Hume-y?
24:28A Hume-y?
24:31A Hume-y?
24:34A Hume-y?
24:37A Hume-y?
24:40A Hume-y?
24:43A Hume-y?