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FunTranscript
00:00Good is, is, is no good, is, is, is no good, is no good, is, is, is no good, is, is, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no
00:30good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good, is no good
01:00BAAH. ER HAT ES NEIN EINZIGES MAL ROSEN! NOCH NICHT EINMAL!
01:18Something's not right.
01:20It's really strange.
01:22I know it's hard to believe, but I give my word.
01:25Since this morning, he hasn't started to say the sentence.
01:29Now I will finally be caliph instead of caliph.
01:32I did it, I did it, I will be caliph instead of caliph.
01:35Finally. For a moment I was really excited.
01:38Didn't you hear what I said?
01:40Yes, I did, sir.
01:41I will be caliph instead of caliph.
01:43Please listen to me, you know you always mess it up at the end.
01:47Not this time. This time we will make him thirsty.
01:50Make him what?
01:51Yes, exactly. We will make him thirsty.
01:53Look at this map. Do you recognize it?
01:56Wait, I don't know.
01:58What is it? I'm waiting.
02:01I don't see anything, I have to say.
02:03Now it's getting warmer.
02:05Really?
02:06Don't you see it? A map of the desert.
02:08Oh yes?
02:09Yes, there we will take the caliph and leave him to his fate.
02:13We will leave him there, without water, without food, without anything.
02:16And nobody will dare to suspect the Grand Vizier.
02:19And why should the caliph agree to be left behind in the desert?
02:23I have an idea, and it's in here.
02:25It's as simple as genius.
02:27In the meantime you can go shopping, okay?
02:30That's a tough nut.
02:35The greatest caliph of all time with only three letters.
02:39Well, you.
02:40What, you?
02:43But you're not a great caliph.
02:45But not me. I mean you.
02:47Your majesty, Harun al-Pusa. Yes.
02:50Harun al-Pusa?
02:56Then I congratulate you, Grand Vizier. That's exactly right.
02:59Oh, I am not worthy of your great praise, Your Majesty.
03:06Oh, it's you.
03:07Oh mighty monarch, radiant ruler of all believers.
03:11Go, we'll finish our game later.
03:13What's new, good Isnogud?
03:15Oh mighty monarch, I have come to invite you to a picnic.
03:20To a picnic? With whom?
03:22With me. Just the two of us.
03:25It will be such a nice, cozy picnic.
03:29That's a charming idea, good Isnogud.
03:31But I know it always rains at picnics.
03:34No, don't worry.
03:35The place chosen by me is guaranteed to be always dry.
03:39If you say so, Isnogud.
03:41I love picnics.
03:42Really? Then let's go.
03:44You mean now?
03:46Yes, now. Right now.
03:48When we wait, it may start to rain.
03:50You're right.
03:51Precaution is better than precaution.
03:56Why did you only get two camels?
03:58There are three of us, I think.
04:00But great caliph, you know how they say.
04:03Two are a couple, three are a group.
04:05You're right.
04:06Where are we going?
04:07To the desert.
04:08The desert is so picturesque.
04:10All the sand, these dunes, these...
04:14Can't you find a nice place for a picnic?
04:17Uh, you know...
04:19You're the rulers of the faithful.
04:20You want to look around a bit more.
04:22No, no, Isnogud.
04:23I'm fine here.
04:24Especially since I could easily tolerate a snack.
04:27Don't worry.
04:28I'll make sure you won't be disappointed,
04:30rulers of the faithful.
04:32Have a nice picnic.
04:38Fine, Isnogud.
04:40What do you have here?
04:42Wait, you'll see.
04:43Something delicious.
04:45Yum, yum.
04:46My mouth is watering already.
04:48Salted cod, salted meat,
04:50grilled meat.
04:52Followed by these pretty schokes
04:54with a pinch of salt.
04:55Pepper sausage, anchovies,
04:57salt cucumbers and salt sticks.
04:59I wonder if all this
05:01will make us a little thirsty.
05:04Thirsty?
05:07Yes, I'm thirsty.
05:08I can't believe it.
05:09I totally forgot the water.
05:11What?
05:12But that's terrible.
05:13I'm already...
05:14Shh!
05:15No need to worry.
05:16I'll go get the water with Tuniggut.
05:18We'll take one of the camels.
05:20Why don't you send Tuniggut
05:21to get some water on his own?
05:25I'm sorry.
05:26I don't really trust him.
05:28I think he's drowning.
05:29Oh, really?
05:31Don't worry.
05:32It won't take long.
05:33Fine.
05:34It's working.
05:35It's working.
05:36You can already assume
05:37that I'm the new caliph.
05:39I have to admit,
05:40I'm pretty surprised,
05:41O new ruler of the faithful.
05:43Cold drinks,
05:44straight from the barrel,
05:45refreshingly pleasant.
05:47What?
05:48Cold drinks,
05:49straight from the barrel,
05:51refreshingly pleasant.
05:54Yes, me.
05:55I'd like a cold glass of water,
05:57if I may ask.
05:58A huge glass of water, please.
06:00With pleasure.
06:01That'll be 50 piaster,
06:02if you don't mind.
06:07Here you are.
06:10What are you doing
06:11in the middle of the desert
06:12to sell water?
06:13I'm doing my best business here.
06:15Oh, really?
06:16Sure.
06:17There aren't that many customers,
06:19but most of them
06:20aren't eager
06:21to sell the price.
06:23So, thanks.
06:24Cold drinks,
06:25straight from the barrel,
06:26refreshingly pleasant.
06:27Cold drinks.
06:32Well,
06:33we're off now
06:34to get the water.
06:35Don't be silly.
06:36I'm not thirsty anymore.
06:37Yes, you are.
06:38In the desert,
06:39you're always thirsty.
06:40Always.
06:41Believe me.
06:42But yes,
06:43all right, all right.
06:44How I hate all this excitement.
06:46Anyway,
06:47I'm still very relaxed.
06:49Come on.
06:50Have you never heard
06:51from the right to the left?
06:53Where did he come from?
06:55From the right.
06:56He came from the right.
06:57And whoever comes from the right
06:58has a head start, of course.
07:00Who?
07:01Who are you?
07:02The Office for Watering and Forestry.
07:04I transport water
07:05to water the forests.
07:06Water.
07:07How nice.
07:09How about it?
07:10Can I have a hose?
07:11Just one?
07:12Sure.
07:13As many as you wish.
07:17I've never seen
07:18such an overflowing desert.
07:22Calm down, please,
07:23or the Caliph
07:24will start to wonder.
07:28I've never seen
07:29such a desert
07:30with so much water.
07:32You know, sir,
07:33it might not be a bad idea
07:34if we give up.
07:36Never.
07:42Thank you.
07:44Come on, let's move on.
07:46Why?
07:47I think it's very nice here
07:48and there's so much going on.
07:49There's too much going on.
07:50It could be impossible here.
07:52In peace.
07:53Picnics, of course.
07:59What we need
08:00is a peaceful
08:01and secluded place.
08:02It won't be long
08:03before it's deserted.
08:04I don't want to miss
08:05a cold shower,
08:06but...
08:11Splash?
08:12Did I hear a splash?
08:18Just listen.
08:19Act like you're at home.
08:20Make sure you get out
08:21of my swimming pool.
08:22I'm sorry.
08:23I didn't pay attention
08:24to where I was going.
08:25A swimming pool in the middle
08:26of the desert?
08:27Why not?
08:28Don't we nomads
08:29have a right to comfort?
08:30Drown!
08:31I'm going to drown
08:32someone!
08:33I'm going to drown someone!
08:34You weren't guaranteed
08:35that the Caliph
08:36wouldn't kick you out, were you?
08:37I don't want to say
08:38it's easy
08:39to get all this water here,
08:40but the children
08:41love it.
08:42Come on,
08:43have a sip
08:44in my tent.
08:45You're soaking wet.
08:46If anyone
08:47mentions
08:48drinking again,
08:49then...
08:50Come on, my dear.
08:51Don't you
08:52want to join us?
08:53I hope we'll see
08:54each other again
08:55one day
08:56and have a drink
08:57together.
08:58For sure.
08:59Yes, my dear.
09:11Look,
09:12here's a nice place
09:13where you can wait for us.
09:14Wait for you,
09:15my good Iznogut?
09:16What?
09:17We're going to save
09:18and get water first.
09:19Great idea.
09:20Fresh water.
09:21But I just
09:22got dry.
09:23Don't stop there!
09:24You're blocking
09:25a public road.
09:26I knew it!
09:27Soon
09:28there will be
09:29a new desert.
09:30As safe
09:31as the day
09:32follows the night.
09:33Please get out of the way.
09:34I know my route
09:35very well,
09:36but I'm afraid
09:37to get lost
09:38in the desert
09:39on the shortest detour.
09:40Oh,
09:41and what were you
09:42doing in that ditch?
09:43What do you mean?
09:44I bet it's water.
09:45Wrong.
09:46What do you mean
09:47wrong?
09:48I'm an oil
09:49and not a water dealer.
09:50Great,
09:51just great.
09:52This oil
09:53comes from my friend
09:54Tran from Tehran.
09:55It's Tran oil,
09:56to be precise.
09:57Here,
09:58taste it.
09:59You'll see
10:00that it's as pure
10:01as pure water.
10:02Really?
10:05How...
10:06How is it?
10:07You know,
10:08it's delicious,
10:09but it's not oil.
10:10What?
10:11What is it then?
10:12It's clear water.
10:13Believe me,
10:14I can tell.
10:15I haven't drank anything
10:16else for hours.
10:17See?
10:18See?
10:19He cheated on me.
10:20Why didn't
10:21Tran Funtzel
10:22look after me better?
10:23He'll pay me for this,
10:24this Tran.
10:25I'll get my money
10:26back.
10:30Hick!
10:31Hick!
10:32Hick!
10:33Out of all the water,
10:34I have a real
10:35Hick!
10:36water belly.
10:37Wake up, gentlemen,
10:38or you'll find your behavior
10:39suspicious.
10:40Leave me alone,
10:41Tunichgut.
10:42Another absolute
10:43hit in the water.
10:44I can't get it
10:45into the caliph's
10:46nostrils.
10:47Good,
10:48good,
10:49good,
10:50good,
10:51good,
10:52good,
10:53good,
10:54good,
10:55good,
10:56good,
10:57good,
10:58a fish?
10:59It's crystal clear
11:00when this desert
11:01rains once in ten
11:02years.
11:03Do you know
11:04our date for today?
11:05The tenth
11:06year-stage
11:07since the last
11:08rain.
11:09did I tell you?
11:10Picknicks
11:11are always
11:12better after
11:13a rain.
11:14Oh shush.
11:17Shut up,
11:18Hick.
11:19Oh shush.
11:20Good evening,
11:21ladies and
11:22gentlemen.
11:23It's me.
11:24So, except for the skin through nests like you were, you had to get yourself a flu.
11:29One more word of instruction and I will let you fail or I'll let you swallow this thing, this thermomail tip.
11:45Oh, if I were a caliph instead of the caliph, how would I do it?
11:50Aha! If I had a vegetable mixer like this, I would just puree it like this and like this.
11:56Or if I had a mortar, I would crush it to dust.
11:59No, no, much better! A steam hammer.
12:01If I had a steam hammer, I would put the caliph underneath and...
12:05Sir! Sir! I have to show you something.
12:08What do you have to show me?
12:10What are you up to, my loyal slave? Don't you want to tell me? A vegetable mixer?
12:14No, sir, no.
12:16A mortar? I think it has to be a mortar.
12:18No, sir, really not. It's something better, much better.
12:21It's a steam hammer, yes?
12:23Just look here, sir.
12:26What? That's supposed to be your steam hammer? Are you going to put me on my arm?
12:29I beg you, look at your steam hammer!
12:34Oh, my lords, you look at me with pleasure, for it is a great honor to welcome you in my palace.
12:40Hey, tell me, is your buddy crazy? You are all obviously crazy here.
12:46Oh, it's quite strange how strangely the caliph expresses himself today.
12:50Oh, you know, that's not the caliph at all.
12:53Not the caliph?
12:54No, I found him at the port.
12:58I am Aristides Dunlopinus, a merchant.
13:00My ship has entered this port. I was dragged here against my will.
13:04So you think he looks very similar to him?
13:07You fell for it yourself, sir.
13:09Let me go immediately before my business partner worries about me.
13:13But he has a blue eye.
13:15You know, I had to persuade him first to come here with me.
13:18Say, do you even listen when I talk? My consul! I want to connect with my consul!
13:22Have you ever seen our caliph Harun al-Pusa?
13:24No, and I don't even want to see him, your caliph!
13:27Come with me!
13:31Can't you maybe go a little slower?
13:34Stop! Here!
13:37Look through this keyhole.
13:40What's so special about it?
13:43I only see a fat, ugly man. Not very intelligent, I would say.
13:47But exactly! And you're about to hit him!
13:50Mind your words!
13:55I will not be insulted.
13:58Oh, look at that! I didn't even know that blue eyes are contagious.
14:02I could have you riddled with arrows or even let you dive, but you're very lucky. I need you.
14:06You need me?
14:07Yes, you will take the place of the caliph.
14:10But the caliph never gets up from his bed.
14:13I'll figure something out. And as soon as you've taken his place, you'll be at my mercy again.
14:20And finally I will be caliph instead of the caliph!
14:23What? That's treason! I have to reject that! It's shameful, despicable, disgusting and goes against my principles!
14:30I'll pay you for it!
14:32Agreed! When should I start?
14:34Make the resemblance complete!
14:36Madness! Not even the mother of the caliph could keep her apart.
14:39Only the same tone is missing.
14:41The thing, however, has another catch.
14:43His blue eye.
14:47I told myself that too. You can read minds.
14:51You are quite unfrozen!
14:53Don't do well! Go and get a schnitzel for his eye and bring one for my eye, too.
14:57Yes, sir!
14:58Schnitzel? When is it eaten here?
15:00You have to pay me properly if I should play the role.
15:04Oh, don't promise too much of it. You'll make me pay dearly with the food.
15:08Fortunately, it won't last too long.
15:11How about playing cards afterwards?
15:13For example, I'm hardly beaten at 66.
15:19Excellent! The blue eye is gone.
15:21One luck is enough for me. I'm bored here.
15:24If no one wants to play with me at 66 and my partner is probably worried by now.
15:29All right, wait for me. I'll go and look for the caliph.
15:32Meanwhile, you sneak into his chambers.
15:34Now it works! Now it works!
15:37I think it would be good for me to stand my ground a little.
15:42After all, I don't want to admit it.
15:53You should be a little more careful, Isnogut.
15:56I was just about to leave when you stepped in here.
15:59Oh, almighty ruler of the believers, could you ever forgive me?
16:03I would deserve to be praised.
16:05Oh, don't exaggerate, Isnogut.
16:07A blue eye isn't a world end right now, is it?
16:10What? A blue eye?
16:12No one is allowed to see that, dogs!
16:14The ruler of the believers has a blue eye!
16:16What? The caliph has a blue eye?
16:18A blue eye? Who? The caliph?
16:20A schnitzel for the eye of the caliph! Quick!
16:24Too late! Everyone has seen it!
16:26A schnitzel for the eye of the ruler of the believers!
16:29So you're missing another blue eye, the left one, right?
16:33What? I'm missing another blue eye?
16:35I don't quite understand, but please, you are the lord.
16:38Come on, the two of us have something to do with each other.
16:41Shall we play together, 66? Great, I like to play 66.
16:47Good, he's done it.
16:49He didn't want to know, sir.
16:54Oh, we have to wait.
16:56The caliph doesn't want to see anyone until he's healed.
16:59Terrible waiting!
17:01Sir, what should I do? We don't have any schnitzel left.
17:04Speaking of schnitzel, when will we eat?
17:06I also like to take a chicken.
17:08Is there really no one here who wants to play 66 with me?
17:11I hope the eye of the caliph heals soon.
17:14Meanwhile, this guy is still ruining me.
17:19Not another bowl!
17:23There!
17:34Are you never going to stop eating?
17:37Come in!
17:38The caliph has been healed and now he wishes to talk to you, sir.
17:42You there! Bring that back to the kitchen!
17:48Oh my goodness, you are good!
17:50Yes, you are. Come in.
17:54Oh, you grew a beard!
17:57As you can see. As long as my eye was not in order, I grew it.
18:00You know, I can't be without work. That's just the way it is.
18:05Oh, a beard! A beard!
18:12Hey, you! Grow a beard! Right now!
18:15Can't you do that faster? Can't you make an effort?
18:20Do it already! Hurry up!
18:30That's too slow! Way too slow!
18:32It's boring! I miss my partner very much! I could teach you 66!
18:36Oh, leave me alone with your 66 and take care of your beard! Let it grow!
18:40Do it already!
18:45Great! Excellent! I congratulate you! It's perfect!
18:48Good. Get ready. I'm going to get the caliph.
18:56No! You shaved your beard!
18:59Yes, because I thought it would be a pleasure for you, my good Isnogut,
19:03because it seemed to me that you didn't like it.
19:09Shave this ridiculous, stupid beard off for me!
19:12Oh, you don't know what you want either.
19:14It's true, I've had enough now.
19:16There's not even someone here with whom I can play 66.
19:19My partner...
19:20My partner! Good, it's time! Hurry up!
19:25Not any further! The door of the caliph is closed for everyone, Grand Vizier!
19:29A command of the mighty caliph!
19:31Let me through or I'll have you hanged on your own lance!
19:37Oh, no!
19:38Oh, yes, my good Isnogut. I caught the Masern.
19:43Red spots! Unbelievable!
19:45Full of red spots!
19:46I warn you, Grand Vizier! The treatment of the believers is very contagious!
19:52Can't you eat somewhere else?
19:55Oh, you know, I'm not risking anything at all.
19:58I've had the Masern since I was a child.
20:00To be honest, I've had enough of the doppelgänger who doesn't look like anyone.
20:04Good! I think we can finally go now.
20:07It's time! I'm bored!
20:09Nobody wants to play a game of 66 with me.
20:11My partner, I think he's already very worried.
20:14I can't hear your eternal whining!
20:16Clear the situation, Tunichkut!
20:17Good, I will.
20:20And?
20:21I saw the caliph. No blue eye.
20:24Very good!
20:25No beard, no red spots.
20:26Excellent! Now they are identical. We can go to work.
20:34Hide here!
20:37I'll get the caliph. And when he comes out, sneak into his room.
20:40I'd love to.
20:41Can I then go home afterwards? I'm bored in this palace where no one plays 66.
20:46Oh, what do you want, my good Isnogut?
20:49I'm coming to lead you to the fresh air.
20:58But fresh air is fresh! I'll get a scarf in my armpits.
21:02Oh, no, no! Please don't!
21:05Wait! Wait!
21:12Too late!
21:17They've been together for a quarter of an hour now.
21:20I can't hear anything. What should I do for him?
21:26Ah, it was a great pleasure to meet you. I love games.
21:30Also 66.
21:31But there's a high-stakeholder here.
21:33A high-stakeholder, my good Isnogut?
21:35What are you talking about, my good Isnogut?
21:37Don't disturb us any longer, my good Isnogut.
21:40We'll call you when we need you again, my good Isnogut.
21:43Go now!
21:45Oh! Instead of getting rid of one caliph, I now have two of his kind!
21:50Calm down, sir. You're being watched.
21:53Dunlopilos? Never heard of them.
21:55Ask one of the men over there. Maybe they can help you.
21:58Excuse me, gentlemen.
22:00Did you happen to see Aristides Dunlopilos?
22:03He's my partner. I've been looking for him for weeks.
22:06No!
22:07What's wrong with him?
22:08You must try to understand him, sir.
22:10It was probably a serious shock for him.
22:12He thought you were unique.
22:28This is Nogut.
22:30Isnogut
22:57Isnogut
23:00Isnogut
23:05Isnogut
23:06Go now!
23:09G-g-g-g-g-good Isnogut