Countdown | Wednesday 4th January 2017 | Episode 6495
Transcript
00:00This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:05APPLAUSE
00:31Good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown studio.
00:34Now, January and February, generally speaking,
00:37are the coldest months of the year.
00:40But before you begin feeling sorry for yourself,
00:43may I alert you to the fact that way back in 1983,
00:46the coldest location ever, ever found on this planet
00:51was at the Soviet Vostok station in Antarctica,
00:55which was logged at minus 89.2.
00:59That's chilly. Minus 89.2.
01:02I began to think, where have I been that was really very chilly?
01:07And actually, it was quite recent. It was, in fact, last October.
01:11And it was at about four o'clock in the afternoon
01:15when I said to my beloved,
01:17and what sort of day have you had?
01:19And she said, quite busy, she said,
01:22mainly taking calls from people ringing me up
01:25to wish me a very happy birthday.
01:28And it was at that precise moment that the temperature fell to minus 350.
01:33And actually, I might tell you, Rachel,
01:35that it's still hovering slightly below freezing.
01:38There we are. How about you?
01:40Where were you most chilly?
01:42Well, nice I've had to let you out of the freezer eventually.
01:45America. Yeah, up a mountain.
01:48I mean, it's always cold. I've had to buy...
01:50My best thing I've ever bought in my life
01:52is those heated gloves that you charge in overnight
01:55and then you just turn them on and they're the best thing I ever bought.
01:58Excellent stuff. Now, we've got Darren back.
02:01Now, Darren, you did so well.
02:03You sprang to an early lead last time out and then you lost it
02:06and you won on the crucial conundrum.
02:08Brilliant stuff. You're in the anti-fraud business.
02:12You took a degree at NYU and sang in the Stern a cappella group.
02:17I wanted to do something that took me outside of my comfort zone
02:20when I started at Stern and I'd never sung before, let alone on stage.
02:24And a cappella is the unaccompanied singing.
02:27And how many of you were there in the group?
02:30Around 12. I was one of only two basses, so we had to carry our voices further.
02:35Excellent stuff. Well, you're up against Jonathan Lindfield today,
02:39a school receptionist from Worthing.
02:41Took a degree at Oxford in law, I think, and now you've got a pupillage.
02:45I have, yes.
02:46And it's just a question of coming through some of those exams.
02:49That's it, yes.
02:50When you get to the bar, what sort of practice do you hope to pursue?
02:55Well, I'll be specialising in personal injury and clinical negligence.
02:59Very good. Let's have a big round of applause for Darren and Jonathan.
03:07And over in the corner, Susie, of course, joined once again
03:10by journalist and news stalwart of the news desk there, Alastair Stewart.
03:14Welcome back, Alastair.
03:16Thank you very much, Nick.
03:20Now, Darren, good luck today. Off you go. Let us go.
03:23Thank you. Hi, Rachel. Hi, Darren.
03:25I'll start with a consonant, please. Thank you. Start today with T.
03:29And a vowel.
03:31A
03:32Consonant.
03:34P
03:35And a vowel.
03:37E
03:39A consonant.
03:41L
03:43And a consonant.
03:45H
03:47A vowel.
03:49U
03:51A consonant.
03:53G
03:55And a final vowel, please.
03:57And a final I.
04:00And here's the Countdown Clock.
04:20CLOCK TICKS
04:33Yes, Darren? Just a five.
04:35A five. Jonathan? Six.
04:37And a six. Darren? Pleat.
04:39Jonathan? Plight.
04:41And plight. Yes.
04:43Plight, your troth.
04:45Both absolutely correct.
04:47Miss Dent has a thought, which she is just quietly...
04:50I have to fill at this stage,
04:52because she's just having a little light examination here.
04:55Yes or no? Yes.
04:57It is there.
04:59Uplight.
05:01So, a light placed to throw illumination upwards.
05:03Either an uplight or an uplighter.
05:05I would have thought of that had I been quicker,
05:07but she thought of it. She got there first.
05:09What can you do? Very good.
05:11Thank you, Alastair. Six points to Jonathan,
05:13and it's Jonathan's letters game now.
05:15Hi, Rachel. Hi, Jonathan.
05:17Can I have a consonant, please? Thank you. Start with...
05:19N.
05:21And another?
05:23D.
05:25And another?
05:27K.
05:29And one more?
05:31T.
05:33And a vowel?
05:35A.
05:37And another?
05:39E.
05:41And another?
05:44V.
05:46And a final consonant, please?
05:48And a final Y.
05:50Stand by.
06:13MUSIC STOPS
06:23Jonathan? Just a five.
06:25A five, Darren? Six.
06:27Jonathan? Token.
06:29Token and? Tanked.
06:31Yes. Tanked.
06:33He tanked. I got tanked as well, which I think is...
06:36..is absolutely delightful.
06:38But there's another, and it's the sort of word that Susie likes so much
06:42that she's actually defined precisely what it is,
06:45like a politician at a conference
06:47or a guest speaker delivers a keynote address
06:50to tell you what the day is all about.
06:52Keynote for seven. Very good.
06:54Keynote and tanked.
06:56In the old days, it was a boxing term, wasn't it?
06:59If you threw a fight, you tanked, I think.
07:01Yes, it's not good in any of its ways.
07:03In any way? No.
07:05Or the act of putting a goldfish somewhere safe.
07:08LAUGHTER
07:10Thank you, Alistair. All right, six apiece,
07:12and it's Darren's numbers game. Darren?
07:14I'll start with an inverted T today, please.
07:17Thank you, Darren. One from the top and five little ones.
07:20And these five small numbers are...
07:229, 8, 3, 10 and 6.
07:28And the big one, 75.
07:30And this target, 502.
07:32502.
07:34MUSIC PLAYS
07:40MUSIC STOPS
08:05Darren? 502, I think.
08:07Thank you. Jonathan? 501.
08:09501. Let's start with Darren.
08:11So, 75 plus 9 is 84.
08:1484.
08:16Multiply that by the 6, should give you 504.
08:19It does indeed.
08:21And then 10 minus 8 gives you 2.
08:23Take that away. Perfect. 502.
08:25Well done. Well done.
08:27APPLAUSE
08:30Well done. So, early lead for Darren.
08:3216 plays Jonathan.
08:34Six as we turn to our first tea time teaser, which is Casino Pit.
08:38And the clue...
08:40The bosses in the Casino Pit don't need to go here.
08:43They see everything.
08:45The bosses in the Casino Pit don't need to go here.
08:48They see everything.
08:50MUSIC PLAYS
08:58APPLAUSE
09:05Welcome back. I left with the clue...
09:07The bosses in the Casino Pit don't need to go here.
09:10They see everything.
09:12And the answer to that one, of course, is opticians.
09:15They don't need specs. Opticians.
09:1816 plays 6, and it's Jonathan's letters game.
09:21Good luck, Jonathan. Can I have a consonant, please?
09:23Thank you, Jonathan.
09:25N.
09:27And another?
09:29D. And another?
09:32S.
09:34And another?
09:36A.
09:38And a vowel?
09:40A.
09:42And another?
09:44I.
09:46And another?
09:48A.
09:50And one more?
09:52O.
09:54And a final consonant, please.
09:56And a final B.
09:58Stand by.
10:00MUSIC PLAYS
10:07MUSIC CONTINUES
10:28Jonathan.
10:30Five.
10:32A five and?
10:33Seven.
10:35And, Darren?
10:37Bastion? Bastion.
10:39Bastion. Very, very good.
10:41Now, what's the corner got?
10:43We got a nine.
10:45Oh! And it's interesting,
10:47because you actually start with Bastion
10:49and then have a look at what's left.
10:51And I'm going to boast...
10:53That's there for five as well, because this is brilliant.
10:56Bastinado.
10:58B-A-S-T-I-N-A-D-O
11:01is a ghastly form of ancient torture
11:04which is used nowadays, I'm afraid,
11:06in places like Iraq and Afghanistan.
11:08And it's punishing the souls of a man or woman's feet.
11:12Bastinado. Horrible business.
11:14Yeah, ghastly. And it's a nine.
11:16Yeah. Very good.
11:2223 plays six. Darren on 23.
11:24Darren, your letters game.
11:26Consonant, please, Rachel.
11:28Thank you, Darren.
11:30T.
11:31And a vowel?
11:33I.
11:34And a consonant?
11:36R.
11:37And another?
11:39M.
11:41And another?
11:43H.
11:45And a vowel?
11:47E.
11:48A consonant?
11:50T.
11:52A vowel?
11:54A.
11:56And a final vowel, please?
11:59And a final... U.
12:02Well done.
12:33Darren?
12:34Six.
12:35And Jonathan?
12:36Six.
12:37Yes, Darren?
12:38Matter.
12:39Jonathan?
12:40Hatter.
12:41And Hatter. Very good.
12:43Now, what contribution? Alistair, Susie?
12:46My eldest son, Alex, had a thing about hermits
12:49and the poetry and literature that they produced.
12:51That's what he studied at Oxford.
12:53And hermit is there for six, but...
12:55This one will be exciting for chemists.
12:57It's a muriate, which is a derivative of muriatic acid.
13:01That's a very old term for hydrochloric acid.
13:03Well done. Well done, Susie.
13:05APPLAUSE
13:07So, 29 plays 12. Darren on 29.
13:10And now, Jonathan, it's your numbers game.
13:13Can I have one large, please, Rachel?
13:15You can indeed. Thank you, Jonathan.
13:17One big one, five little ones.
13:19And these five small ones are seven, four, ten, two and nine.
13:26And the big one, 50.
13:28And your target, 742.
13:31742.
13:58APPLAUSE
14:04Jonathan?
14:05743.
14:06One away, Darren.
14:08742.
14:09Right, let's go.
14:11Ten minus four is six.
14:13Yep.
14:1450 multiplied by the two is 100.
14:17100.
14:18Add those together.
14:19106.
14:20Multiply by the seven.
14:21742. Perfect. Well done.
14:22Well done. Very, very well done.
14:24APPLAUSE
14:26There we are, Darren, on 39, Jonathan, 12.
14:28But bags of time to go.
14:30If we turn to Alistair.
14:31Alistair, what have you got for us today?
14:33I cherish words.
14:35But sometimes their abuse can lead to an interesting little anecdote.
14:42David Cameron liked to be called Dave by his friends.
14:46And I knew him before he went into Parliament.
14:50And Dennis Skinner, who is the brilliant Member of Parliament
14:53in the House of Commons in Bolsover, is a man who loves an alliteration.
14:57And his favourite expression for Mr Cameron was,
15:00dodgy Dave.
15:02And unfortunately, that is unparliamentary language.
15:05And the Speaker of the House of Commons called him up on it
15:08a couple of times.
15:09And in the end, Mr Skinner was thrown out.
15:12You can't call a Member of Parliament,
15:14all of whom are honourable people, dodgy.
15:17But what you may not know is there are many other things
15:20that you can't call them.
15:22Hooligan, hypocrite, idiot, ignoramus, pipsqueak, rat, swine,
15:25slimy, wart and liar.
15:28Now, parliamentarians, by definition, are very clever people.
15:31And again, Mr Skinner, on one occasion,
15:33looked at the Conservative benches and said,
15:35half of them are liars.
15:38And Mr Speaker said, you can't say that, Mr Skinner,
15:41you must withdraw that comment.
15:43And quick as a flash, he looked over and said,
15:45half of them are not liars.
15:48Do the sums, it still works.
15:51But the master of all of this was the great, late Winston Churchill.
15:56Winston did like a drink, and he confronted Bessie Braddock one day,
16:00who was a well-built, sturdy woman,
16:03looked her straight in the eye and said, my God, you're ugly.
16:07And Bessie Braddock looked straight back at him and said,
16:10Winston, you're drunk.
16:12And Winston smiled and said, yes, Bessie, but tomorrow I'll be sober.
16:16LAUGHTER
16:19APPLAUSE
16:24Great point. Thank you, Alistair.
16:26So, 39 plays 12, Darren in the lead, and it's Darren's letters game now.
16:30Darren.
16:31You have a vowel to start, please.
16:33Thank you, Darren. E
16:35And a consonant.
16:37L
16:38And another.
16:40R
16:42A vowel.
16:44I
16:45Consonant.
16:47S
16:49And a vowel.
16:51U
16:53Consonant.
16:55B
16:57Consonant.
16:59M
17:01And a vowel, please.
17:03And lastly, I.
17:05Go.
17:17B
17:39Yes, Darren?
17:40Safe seven.
17:42Jonathan.
17:43Seven.
17:44And a seven, Darren.
17:45Sublime.
17:46There's sublime for you.
17:48I am going to shake you from your slumber,
17:52which is also there for seven,
17:54because you missed the R.
17:58Sublime-er.
18:00Sublimer.
18:01I think you thought about it, didn't you? Yeah, it is in the dictionary.
18:04Sublimer. More sublime. Very good.
18:07So, 46 to 19.
18:09Jonathan, your letters game.
18:11Have a consonant, please.
18:13Thank you, Jonathan. R
18:15And another.
18:17S
18:19And another.
18:21X
18:23And another.
18:25S
18:27And a vowel.
18:29E
18:31And another.
18:32I
18:34And another.
18:36O
18:38And a consonant.
18:40T
18:42And a final consonant, please.
18:45And a final P.
18:47And here's the countdown clock.
19:13Yes, Jonathan.
19:15Seven.
19:16A seven, Darren.
19:18Seven.
19:19Jonathan.
19:20Proxies.
19:21And?
19:22Exports.
19:23And exports.
19:24Very nice.
19:25Proxies is lovely. Absolutely delightful.
19:27Really not quite so delightful,
19:29but I'm afraid it is there for seven as well.
19:32Poxiest.
19:33More poxy than others? Poxiest.
19:35Anything else, Susie?
19:36There is an H.
19:37Reposts.
19:38So retorts or replies, yes.
19:40Thank you very much.
19:41APPLAUSE
19:44So, 53 plays Jonathan's 26
19:47as we turn to Darren for a numbers game.
19:49Darren.
19:50One large, five small, please.
19:52Thank you, Darren. One large one.
19:54Five little.
19:55And this time your selection is five, four, seven, eight.
20:01Five little.
20:02And this time your selection is five, four, seven, six,
20:09three and 100.
20:12And this target, oh, 120.
20:15That'll be one, two, zero.
20:31MUSIC PLAYS
20:48Yes, Darren?
20:49One, two, zero.
20:50Yes, and Jonathan?
20:51120.
20:52Let's deal with this briskly.
20:54OK, seven plus three?
20:55Ten.
20:56Six plus four?
20:57Ten.
20:58100.
20:59Yeah, very easy.
21:00And Jonathan?
21:01Four times five.
21:02Not even going to waste the paper.
21:04That's it. Easy enough.
21:05So, 63 plays 36, Jonathan on 36,
21:08as we turn to our second Tea Time teaser,
21:11which is Blue Pater and the clue.
21:14If you're taking your car to a garage, make sure it's this.
21:17If you're taking your car to a garage, make sure it's this.
21:31APPLAUSE
21:38Welcome back. I left you with the clue.
21:40If you're taking your car to a garage, make sure it's this.
21:43Make sure it's reputable.
21:46Reputable.
21:4863 to 36, Darren in the lead,
21:50and it's Jonathan's chance to catch up now.
21:53Jonathan.
21:54Have a consonant, please.
21:55Thank you, Jonathan.
21:57D
21:58And another.
22:00M
22:01And another.
22:03Q
22:05And another.
22:07G
22:09And a vowel.
22:11A
22:13And another.
22:14E
22:16And another.
22:18A
22:20And a consonant.
22:22R
22:24And a final consonant, please.
22:27Stand by.
22:58Yes, Jonathan?
23:00Eight.
23:01An eight and...?
23:02I'll try an eight.
23:04Jonathan?
23:05Damages.
23:06And...?
23:07Same word.
23:08There we go.
23:10Any more eights in the corner?
23:13Yeah, we can't, unfortunately, use the R in that,
23:16so damages there for seven, but no damager, I'm afraid.
23:19That's disappointing for both of you, sorry.
23:21But what can we have? Alistair?
23:23Well, no, damages, just that without the R, is absolutely correct,
23:27and that was the seven that we got.
23:29Yes.
23:30All right.
23:3163-36 still, and it's Darren's letters game.
23:34Darren.
23:35Consonant, please, Rachel.
23:37Thank you, Darren.
23:38N
23:39And a vowel.
23:41I
23:42Consonant.
23:44R
23:46And a vowel.
23:47O
23:49Consonant.
23:50D
23:52And another.
23:53P
23:55And a vowel.
23:57A
23:59Consonant.
24:01T
24:03And a consonant, please.
24:05And the last one, Z.
24:07Stand by.
24:22CLOCK TICKS
24:41Darren.
24:42Six.
24:43A six, Jonathan.
24:44I'll try a seven.
24:45Well done.
24:46Darren.
24:47Pardon.
24:48Now, Jonathan.
24:50Portane.
24:51Portane.
24:52It's portainer, I think.
24:57Yeah.
24:58Doesn't seem to be there, Jonathan.
25:00Yeah, portainer is there.
25:02That's a crane that lifts containers, but not portane.
25:05Sorry.
25:06Bad luck.
25:07Yeah.
25:08Bad luck.
25:09What can we have? Alistair, Susie?
25:10Tripod is there for six as well.
25:12That's good.
25:13Yeah.
25:14Oh, hang on.
25:15And there's anatomical parotid as well, the parotid gland,
25:20which is a salivary gland.
25:22Right, how many is that?
25:23So that'll give you a seven.
25:24A seven?
25:25Yeah.
25:26Tough letters.
25:27They were, not very nice.
25:28Pretty good.
25:29Tough.
25:3069 to 36.
25:31Susie, we call on you and your wonderful origins of words.
25:34What have you got for us today?
25:37Well, Darren sings a cappella,
25:39as we were hearing at the beginning of the show,
25:42and I'm going to tell you about a cappella
25:44and where that style of music comes from
25:46and where its name comes from.
25:48And you have to look back a very, very long way,
25:50back to the fourth century.
25:52And probably one of the most popular saints of all time, really,
25:56which is Saint Martin of Tours.
25:59When he was a soldier in the Roman army,
26:02he famously had a vision.
26:06And it came from meeting a scantily clad beggar one day
26:10when he was in the army,
26:12who was incredibly cold in one of the freezing winters.
26:15And Martin just simply instinctively cut his military cloak into,
26:20to share with the beggar.
26:22That night was when he had his vision,
26:24and he dreamed of Jesus, who was wearing the half cloak
26:28and thanking him for his very, very good deed.
26:32The dream is said to have given Martin,
26:34who was about 18 at the time, his religious conscience,
26:37and he went on then to do most amazing deeds,
26:40and his benevolence became legendary.
26:43Now, his half of the cloak was passed from shrine to shrine,
26:46and little chapels were built to house this legendary cloak.
26:50Those chapels were called cappella.
26:52And cappella is what gave us our modern-day chapel,
26:56because it was seen as a holy place.
26:58But the reason we have a cappella today, a cappella music,
27:01it's choral music which is sung without musical accompaniment,
27:04and it simply means in the style of the chapel.
27:07So it looks all the way back to Saint Martin's cloak,
27:10that little cloak, cappella,
27:12half of which he gave to somebody in need.
27:15Fantastic.
27:22That's wonderful. Beautifully put together, thank you.
27:2669-36 sees Darren in the lead, and it's Jonathan's letters again now.
27:30Jonathan.
27:32Can I have a consonant, please? Thank you, Jonathan.
27:34F
27:35And another.
27:37L
27:39And another.
27:41J
27:43And another.
27:45N
27:47And a vowel.
27:49O
27:51And another.
27:53E
27:55And another.
27:57O
27:59And a consonant, please.
28:01R
28:03And a final consonant, please.
28:05And a final N.
28:07Stand by.
28:38Yes, Jonathan?
28:40Five. A five. Darren?
28:42I think I've got a six.
28:44Let's see. Jonathan first.
28:46Loner. A loner. And?
28:48I'm not sure about the spelling, but loofer?
28:50It's usually A-H at the end.
28:53It's not there, Darren, I'm afraid. It is A-H at the end. Sorry.
28:58Adler? Yeah. Now, what can we have? Alistair? You've got a sixer.
29:02I have got a sixer, yes.
29:05Slightly risque, possibly. Nooner is there. Nooner?
29:09Nooner is something that takes place in the middle of the day,
29:12including possibly hanky-panky.
29:15A nooner? A nooner, yes.
29:17What, like a drink?
29:19Could be.
29:2169-41. Darren and Lee, Darren's letters game.
29:24A vowel to start, please, Rachel. Thank you, Darren.
29:27A Consonant.
29:30W
29:32A vowel.
29:34E
29:36Consonant.
29:38C
29:40And another?
29:42G
29:44A vowel.
29:46I
29:48Consonant.
29:50P
29:52A vowel.
29:54A
29:56And a consonant, please. And a last one.
29:58R
30:00And here's the Countdown Clock.
30:04CLOCK TICKS
30:30Yes, Darren? Six.
30:32Six. Darren? Pacer.
30:34And Jonathan? Same word.
30:37There we go, just exchange notes. There we are.
30:40Any more sixes?
30:42And...
30:44Chasing to it, it came up.
30:46Agaric.
30:48But not as in a garic, but agaric.
30:51Mm-hm. Yes.
30:53Which is fungal or fruit, is it? Yes.
30:55Fungus on fruit or...?
30:57It's a fungus resembling a mushroom.
30:59It's got feels under the underside.
31:01A-G-A-R-I-C, so that will give you a six.
31:03Agaric. It's a lovely word.
31:05It's a first for me, agaric. Very good.
31:07Yeah. That'll do.
31:0975-47 into the final numbers game.
31:12That's for Jonathan Linfield. Jonathan?
31:14Let's try six more.
31:16Why not? Thank you, Jonathan.
31:18Six little ones could be a tricky one for the final numbers game,
31:21which are six,
31:23nine, three,
31:25four, five,
31:27and another six.
31:29And the target...
31:31479.
31:33479.
31:58MUSIC STOPS
32:04Jonathan?
32:06480.
32:08One away. Darren?
32:10Yep, same, 480, but I've not written all of it down.
32:13Let's hear from you then, Darren.
32:15OK. Five plus four is nine.
32:17Five plus four, nine.
32:19Multiply by the nine is 81.
32:22Yep. Multiply that by the six.
32:25186.
32:27Yep, then take the six away.
32:29And take away the other six, which you haven't used yet for one away.
32:32Jonathan?
32:34Nine times five is 45.
32:36Nine times five is 45.
32:38Add the three for 48. 48.
32:40Six plus four is ten. Yep.
32:42And times them together. Again, one away. Well done.
32:45Very good, but still one away.
32:47Rachel, how tricky is this 479?
32:50Tons of ways for one away, but this was actually impossible,
32:53but well done. Well done, guys. All right.
32:59So, we turn to the final round.
33:01That's conundrum time. 82 playing 54.
33:04Darren in the lead and his fingers on buzzers
33:06because we're rolling today's Countdown Conundrum.
33:09MUSIC PLAYS
33:23BELL RINGS
33:35Yes?
33:36Gentlemen.
33:38Gentlemen. Darren says gentlemen. Let's roll it and see.
33:42There it is. Well done.
33:48Well done. Well done, Darren. I'll come back to you in a second.
33:51You know, bad like Jonathan,
33:53you've come up against a tremendous player, I think, actually.
33:5692 to 54. 54, good score.
33:58It's a good score.
34:00So, back to Worthing with your goodie bag
34:02and our very best wishes for a great career at the bar.
34:05I'm sure you'll do great things.
34:07Thank you very much. Thanks for coming. Well done.
34:09And we shall see you next time, Darren.
34:11Looking forward to it. Congratulations. Two good wins.
34:13Well done. Well done.
34:15Now, Alistair. Sir?
34:17Susie. Yes? Thank you very much.
34:19We shall see you next time in Countdown Studio.
34:23And Rachel too, of course. See you then.
34:25All right. Join us then, same time, you'll be sure of it.
34:28A very good afternoon.
34:30Contact us by email at countdown at channel4.com,
34:34by Twitter at c4countdown,
34:37or write to us at countdown leads ls31js.
34:41You can also find our web page at channel4.com forward slash countdown.
34:46How many details could you recall from your most recent trip to the shops?
34:50Fifteen men and women of their surveillance skills
34:53tested in a new series of spies starting tomorrow night at nine.
34:57And returning tonight, a new series of no offence.
35:01More rollercoaster cases for the Friday Street Squad at nine.
35:05A new life in the sun, up next.