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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00The temperatures have reached record highs and there are no signs of cooling down.
00:0943 degrees in the middle of the night. I'm swimming in this polyester suit.
00:16Now you may run in your polyester suit.
00:22Why aren't you sweating?
00:24Friends from outside have taught me to regulate my body temperature.
00:30You're an alien.
00:49You're still not sweating. You didn't learn that from aliens. You're an alien.
00:55Yes!
00:57Ulyana, your biochemical composition makes you susceptible to water damage.
01:02Someone must have read his manual.
01:08Maybe you'll become smarter.
01:13Maybe you could finally stop calling me a smartass.
01:17Let's throw a few curves.
01:19It's not my sport.
01:20Then what?
01:21You'll find out.
01:22When?
01:23You'll find out when smartass has served.
01:25Yeah.
01:53You're still not sweating. You didn't learn that from aliens. You're an alien.
02:23EBS
02:33Gentlemen, we have an EBS.
02:36An earth-threatening situation.
02:38You actually read the manual.
02:40A Blastulanian spaceship the size of Pluto is just outside our galaxy.
02:46That means they can be here within 24 hours.
02:50The Blastulanians live on planets that are similar to ours.
02:53And they live there until they've completely exterminated them.
02:57Then the entire population moves on, occupies another world,
03:01and the whole dilemma starts all over again.
03:04Then the current heat wave shouldn't be a coincidence.
03:07Blastulanians like it hot.
03:09We should start a solar milk supply.
03:11Waste of money. We're talking about 370 degrees Celsius.
03:15Imagine a life as a barbecue sausage.
03:18Use all available forces.
03:21Find out how the Blastulanians change our weather and stop them.
03:27The twins check nuclear power plants, chemical factories, or similar,
03:32for unusual activities.
03:34Wow, wow, wow. Back, Bob.
03:36Here, a call for help.
03:39Huh?
03:40In the blink of an eye, did you see this windscout?
03:42He's an alien. Admit it.
03:44Kirtek, here in Manhattan.
04:00No movement, MIB.
04:02Good evening, gentlemen.
04:15Oh, man.
04:17Oh, oh, oh.
04:22I wouldn't sweat enough for that.
04:37I guess you're a better shooter than I am.
04:40Wait a minute, kid.
04:42Your shot left a better mark.
04:46Comfortable. Not exactly typical for an extraterrestrial criminal, huh?
04:54Uh, yes?
04:56Energy Ministry, Department 6.
04:58Do you have a moment for us?
05:01Bill, what's going on?
05:04It's nothing, Darlene.
05:06Darlene, these gentlemen are just...
05:08We're checking all the power plants for their power efficiency.
05:11Well, and yours seems to me...
05:13Not to work.
05:15Yesterday, the heat wave broke.
05:17Strange. You don't seem to care at all.
05:20You know, I...
05:22Well, look at this. Kirtek.
05:25Yes, I work there as a lab technician.
05:30Tell me, what happened to your arm?
05:37Everything seems to be fine here.
05:39Please excuse the disturbance. Let's go.
05:41Yes, what?
05:46But that's our man.
05:48Did we follow his trail to his house or am I crazy?
05:51He works at Kirtek, boy.
05:53And we're not even checking the guy, right?
06:01What do we want in the MIB home?
06:03We haven't slept in almost two days.
06:06The Blastolans want to make a barbecue out of us,
06:08and you want to get your ears pierced? Hey, that's not possible.
06:10Okay, according to the MIB...
06:12Quiet, you shit. You have no idea what's going on here.
06:15It's a thing. He kept his arm exactly where you hit him.
06:20Apart from the fact that he didn't sweat.
06:23He must be the only living being in the whole city that doesn't sweat.
06:27Except you, of course.
06:33Nanu?
07:03Oh, shit.
07:33What are you working on?
07:35Monitoring the carbon monoxide levels in the atmosphere.
07:38Could you give us a hint on the Blastolans' operandi mode?
07:44What's this thing good for?
07:46It measures your reflexes and is a great letter-reader.
07:50And what kind of sharp thing is that?
07:52A blood-removal device.
07:54What's that?
07:56It's a device that detects blood.
07:58And what does it do?
08:01A blood-removal device.
08:04You can keep it if you finally stop annoying me.
08:07Thank you. I'm looking forward to a smooth leg and a little toe.
08:11Shouldn't you be on patrol with Kay?
08:13I haven't seen him since last night.
08:15He's sort of...
08:16...escaped from me.
08:17If nothing else escapes you.
08:19Have you ever noticed that Kay never sweats?
08:21That he never shows feelings?
08:22And he doesn't sleep either.
08:23He's cool and sound asleep.
08:25Kay has been with the MIB since the beginning.
08:27Longer than Zed or the twins.
08:30Do you have depression or other problems?
08:36I think Kay is an alien.
08:38And you...
08:39...are...
08:40...not quite sure.
08:41If the Blastolans were on Earth before the MIB was formed...
08:44...then it's possible that a man in black is a Blastolan mole.
08:48He was locked up here from the beginning.
08:50Why are you telling me this?
08:52How do you know that I'm not an alien or Zed?
08:55If you can't trust Kay, why should you trust me?
09:01Bring this over to the twins, but hurry up.
09:04Where were you, smartass?
09:06That's exactly what I was about to ask you.
09:08Well, I couldn't sleep.
09:09I wanted to drink a chocolate.
09:11Well, Logo, there's nothing better than a hot chocolate in this heat.
09:27What is it?
09:29The sample you brought me and the blood of the wounded Blastolan.
09:33As you can see, they are identical.
09:36They belong to the same alien species.
09:39Oh, no!
09:40Jay?
09:41Are you okay?
09:42Yes, it's...
09:44...it's just the heat.
09:48The temperatures are already reaching record highs on the fifth day in a row.
09:52Since all the air conditioners have been switched on...
09:54...the city's energy supply is hardly guaranteed.
09:59I can't stand the heat.
10:00My tongue always hangs out of my throat.
10:02I wish I were a hot guy.
10:04It can't be hot enough for them, you know.
10:06Elle said that in the blood sample...
10:08...there are no signs of artificial temperature increases.
10:12The guys have to heat their bodies with a kind of external device.
10:18Hey, what is it?
10:19What's going on?
10:20I don't know.
10:21I don't know.
10:22I don't know.
10:23I don't know.
10:24I don't know.
10:25I don't know.
10:27Hey, what's that?
10:28Nothing at all.
10:31I married an alien.
10:34And that's supposed to be nothing?
10:35I knew right away what kind of guy he was.
10:38Paper is patient.
10:39You don't have to believe everything that's in there.
10:41Then let's check if I'm right or you're wrong.
10:44What am I supposed to do with such children's toys?
10:46Fine, I'll do it myself.
10:47Give me the key.
10:48Not so loud, smartass.
10:50Shit.
10:55I'm sorry, I can't allow it.
10:57Ouch.
10:58Yeah, what do you say to that?
11:01Get down with the gun, Kay.
11:04Crazy.
11:05Eat something else.
11:07Hey, guys.
11:08Are you going to shoot or are you too cowardly?
11:11That's no use, smartass.
11:13You're not going to shoot.
11:14You can't do it.
11:16Right.
11:19But I can run faster than you.
11:37No.
11:38No.
11:41No.
11:46No.
11:48No.
11:49No.
11:52Kay.
11:57No.
12:07Hey, asshole.
12:08It's not my fault.
12:10You're the only one I can trust, Frank.
12:12Now he's keeping his eyes open.
12:13And if Kay shows up, I'll bite him.
12:22Department 6, Energy.
12:24I mean, like yesterday.
12:26Tell me about your husband.
12:28Bill and I have been married for about ten years.
12:31Lately, he's been acting very strange.
12:34Distanced.
12:36As if he wasn't himself.
12:39I always thought I would meet my husband.
12:42Tell me about it.
12:44Hey, that's enough.
12:46So...
12:47Sweetie, do you have a drink for me?
12:49I read about you in the newspaper.
12:51You belong to the MIB, right?
12:54How do you know that, beautiful woman?
12:57You're dressed in black and the dog talks.
13:06Frank, sit.
13:07Hey, old man, do I look like a dog or are you crazy?
13:12I don't care what he did or if he's an alien.
13:15I just want the old Bill back.
14:06Frank.
14:37The climate here will soon be perfect for us.
14:40And only for us.
14:42Humanity is just about to end.
14:44And you're just about to eat an oyster cracker, Snookie.
14:49I sense a human being near us.
14:52Follow his thoughts.
14:54Thoughts reader.
14:56There he is.
14:58I sense a human being near us.
15:00Follow his thoughts.
15:02Thoughts reader.
15:04There he is.
15:09According to paragraph 437a of the Intergalactic Code, you are hereby arrested.
15:16Or not.
15:21It's a modern thing.
15:24Kill him.
15:26No, Klaxl.
15:28The MIB wounded me last night.
15:30He belongs to me, I think.
15:34Go on.
15:46Smartass.
15:48It's me.
15:50You had to exchange your identity with Bill.
15:53Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
15:56Hey, you didn't invite me to your little plan.
15:59What's the matter?
16:00We don't have much time, listen.
16:02Bill is a Blastolan spy.
16:04He was sent to us about 40 years ago.
16:06But unlike many others, he found his luck on Earth.
16:09He sent the emergency call over the computer last night.
16:13When we were in his house, he made a second emergency call.
16:17Telepathically.
16:19I had to lie a false horse.
16:21If you had known what was going on, the Blastis would have been able to read your mind.
16:25I know how to disguise myself.
16:27You're in for a surprise.
16:29The location of the Blastolan Central Command was a secret.
16:33Not even Bill knew about it.
16:35He was sent there for the first time with a cargo of Risacirzine.
16:39But Bill and I replaced the chemical compound with a stabilizing agent.
16:44That means we have to hide now and let the Blastolans finish loading their canisters.
16:49Oh, and whatever you do, don't think about my words.
16:52Hey, man, that's the last thing you should tell me if you don't want me to think about it.
16:57Too late.
17:01Stop!
17:03Don't let the chemicals go.
17:05They were contaminated.
17:09Just an insignificant setback.
17:17What is that?
17:18A sunspot.
17:19Artificially created in the lab.
17:21In recent times, some have shot into the sun.
17:23As a result, the earth's temperature gradually increased.
17:26And until we have enough Risacirzine available again,
17:30we will continue to bomb the sun with artificial sunspots.
17:33For the good of my people.
17:35Launching launch.
17:37One minute until launch.
17:39Do you think what I think?
17:41Yes, he does.
17:43But you two are alone and unarmed.
17:47I don't think so.
17:53Okay, I bet they're not half-closed.
17:56Kill them both!
18:11These elements are not bad.
18:18I'm going to kill you.
18:3130 seconds until launch.
18:33Cover me, Jay. I'm going to destroy the sunspot.
18:36What? You called me Jay?
18:4330 seconds until launch.
18:48Oh!
18:5620 seconds until launch.
18:58I'm completely in my element.
19:01Well, that's good to hear.
19:0710, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,
19:124, 3, 2, 1, Ignition.
19:23That was a powerful launch.
19:25Well, a little fart can change the earth's temperature.
19:38Okay, let's go home.
19:42I'm going home.
19:54We wanted to adopt a child.
19:57I'm going to miss her.
19:59You may have the blood of an alien, but you have the heart of a human.
20:04Stay with Darlene.
20:06I can't make the decision. It's up to her.
20:12The coldest summer I can remember.
20:42Golf is my sport.
20:44Almost like Tiger Woods.
20:50What I wanted to say, good work, smartass.
20:53Smartass? But what's with Jay?
20:56Well, with a decent finish, you can say that he's a smartass.
21:01He's a smartass.
21:03He's a smartass.
21:05He's a smartass.
21:07He's a smartass.
21:09What's with Jay?
21:10Well, with a decent finish, you can say that he's a smartass.