YB Rants Movie Remakes (January 10, 2011) [Youngbloodfantasy91]
Originally Uploaded to YouTube by Youngbloodfantasy91.
Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.
Original Description: Quick correction: I know the newest Final Destination movie is not a remake, but the posters for it sure as hell make it appear like one! I rant about remakes and why they suck. They are nothing but Hollywood's way to make money for themselves because they reduced themselves to petty, money-hungry jerks. The audience needs to wise up and understand that not all remakes turn out to become movie gold. Thank you for watching and please comment.
Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.
Original Description: Quick correction: I know the newest Final Destination movie is not a remake, but the posters for it sure as hell make it appear like one! I rant about remakes and why they suck. They are nothing but Hollywood's way to make money for themselves because they reduced themselves to petty, money-hungry jerks. The audience needs to wise up and understand that not all remakes turn out to become movie gold. Thank you for watching and please comment.
Transcript
00:00Hey guys, YoungbloodFantasy91 here with another rant.
00:15You know, the movie industry today sucks balls, and I'm sure everybody this side of the western
00:19hemisphere will agree with me.
00:21It seems that Hollywood has degraded itself to becoming nothing more than money-hungry
00:24petty sons of bitches who make movies for the purpose of bemusing their audiences and
00:29trying to promote their own ridiculous agendas.
00:32One of the many reasons why movies suck these days is, per the topic of my rant, remakes.
00:36I swear to you guys, if I see another remake of another movie, I will literally explode
00:40with the fury of Mount Vesuvius, because this sort of thing has become way too rampant and
00:45way too overdone, to the point of it becoming a vomit-inducing asshole-ish tactic.
00:50They were made because directors and producers ran out of ideas in their brainless little
00:53heads and decided, you know what, this movie is 20 years old, let's remake it so that today's
00:57retarded and skewed audience will understand it.
01:00The idea for updating and adapting every fucking thing has given us the biggest embarrassment
01:05in movie history.
01:06Don't believe me?
01:07Three words.
01:08The.
01:09Last.
01:10Airbender.
01:11And let's not forget the cartoon adaptations such as the soon-to-be-released Yogi Bear,
01:15I guess it's now released in theaters now, and the horrible movie Underdog, but I ridiculously
01:19digress.
01:20Let's get back to the topic of remakes.
01:22Now, I gotta be honest with myself.
01:24Not all remakes are made from the 9th circle of hell, and I wish to emphasize that.
01:28There are certain remakes that became movie gold, such as Ben-Hur and The Ten Commandments
01:32starring Charlton Heston and directed by Cecile DeMille of all people, and I liked The Magnificent
01:37Seven, which was a remake of a Kurosawa film called The Seven Samurai.
01:40That was great.
01:41And I know there are plenty of other examples, and if you guys know any more, feel free to
01:45leave a comment with an example handy.
01:47However, what I'm focusing on is how remakes are made today.
01:50I know the idea behind remakes is to update the movies, but with our audience slowly deteriorating
01:54in intelligence and currently having the combined IQ of Forrest Gump, no offense, anything will
01:59please the audiences, including crappy remakes of classic movies.
02:02Don't believe me?
02:03Let's run through some examples.
02:05How about the movie Mr. Deeds with Adam Sandler?
02:07That was a remake that sucked, since the actors did a piss-poor job of acting, but to add
02:12insult to injury, it was a remake of a Frank Capra movie.
02:15I'm sure that for every time someone watched it, Mr. Capra did a trapeze act in his grave.
02:20What about when Tim Burton had the gall to replicate the unreplicable Gene Wilder in
02:24his adaptation of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
02:27The 1971 version had an original score with great actors and classic scenes.
02:32The new one features Burton's lackey, Johnny Depp, acting like the most antisocial bastard
02:36ever, by being the most unbelievable Willy Wonka ever, in a bad way.
02:41How about the unhealthy obsession with remaking horror movies?
02:44What about the new Final Destination, or the new Nightmare on Elm Street in Friday the
02:4713th?
02:48What is the goddamn point if the movie was already perfect to begin with?
02:52So 20 years passed by, so what?
02:56Popular culture to this day refers to movies made decades ago, and Hollywood is simply
03:00nonchalant about this.
03:01Next you'll be telling me they're remaking the Ghostbusters.
03:03Oh wait, they're making another sequel with some of the writers being the writer-producers
03:07of The Office.
03:08God damn it.
03:10But I digress again, and I'll probably touch movie sequels if I find the time to.
03:14Let's run through some more examples.
03:16The Night Professor?
03:17Stupid.
03:18The Night of the Apes?
03:19Way too long and boring.
03:20Thanks again, Tim Burton.
03:22Poseidon?
03:23Why?
03:24Psycho.
03:25Plagiarism in Vince Vaughn.
03:27School for scoundrels?
03:28If you can stand John Heeters acting in Billy Bob Thornton's typecast role, then maybe.
03:32When a Stranger Calls?
03:33No.
03:34The Wicker Man?
03:35Two words.
03:36Nicolas Cage.
03:37The Producers?
03:38You can't fucking replicate Gene Wilder.
03:41And I could go on and on and on with more examples of this nonsense.
03:45The scary trend is most of these movies were made very recently, and I'm sure some of you
03:49have already seen these movies.
03:51They cannot hold a candle to the original movies that actually either became classics
03:54or box office hits, as the newer versions are either decried by critics or ignored by
03:58some people.
03:59Though I'm sure most of the audience thought they were terrific.
04:02I swear, it's both today's audience and the soulless entities of Hollywood that are continuing
04:06this problem.
04:07You audience members have horribly lowered your expectations about what a good movie
04:11is.
04:12That's why we continuously see more movies from Seltzer and Friedberg.
04:15You guys hate their movies?
04:16Don't see them!
04:17Simple as that.
04:18The same could be said for remakes.
04:19If the directors wished to shit on classic movies and remake them for the sole purpose
04:23of alienating the audience, then don't see the movie.
04:26I haven't seen most of these movies until they came out on DVD, and even then I didn't
04:29even want to see them unless they occasionally appeared on TV.
04:33That's because I don't want these idiots stealing my money because of their crappy interpretations
04:36of older movies.
04:38Remember how Don Bluth did an animated remake of Anastasia?
04:40Yeah, neither did I.
04:42Because the movie was stupid.
04:43And what movie version of the Broadway musical Annie do you remember?
04:46The classic 1982 version, or the newer 1999 version that I never heard about?
04:51And what about the abortion known as the remade Bad News Bears?
04:54I saw the original with Walter Matthau, and the movie was insanely good.
04:57I liked the irreverence of the children and the pitiful, slovenly nature of the coach
05:01played by Matthau.
05:02What about the recent Clash of the Titans movie that was remade from the 1981 version?
05:05Well, it went over like 500 and Beowulf did, only remembered from one line and one line
05:10only.
05:11Did I say 500?
05:12I meant 300.
05:13I'm sorry.
05:14Do I really need to say it?
05:15And let's not forget the day the Earth stood still.
05:18Two words.
05:19Keanu Reeves.
05:20The movie was horrid.
05:22And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
05:24There are plenty more examples of this backwards tradition of remaking older, better organized
05:28and more classic movies and turning them into watered down, disgusting, maggot infested
05:32pieces of diarrhea encrusted tripe.
05:34It's goddamn unacceptable.
05:35And I'm sure this is going to continue.
05:37They'll probably remake 2001 A Space Odyssey and make Stanley Kubrick do a gymnastics routine
05:42in his grave.
05:43And then they'll move on to Raiders of the Lost Ark or The Wizard of Oz or...
05:46I don't even know because I can't even comprehend the ineptitude of Hollywood and how it vastly
05:50alienated us in recent years.
05:52I swear, if Hollywood can't get a grip on itself and its uncreativity, then the audience
05:57members will finally wake up and actually begin to stop watching the nonsensical drivel
06:01that is being ejected from Hollywood on a yearly basis only to demonstrate how crap
06:05they really are today.
06:07Remakes are only becoming more commonplace today and that pisses me off to absolutely
06:11no end.
06:12The older movies need to remain untouched.
06:14There are some things about it that cannot be replicated.
06:16You can't get any three idiots in the street and force them to replicate the Three Stooges.
06:20Therefore you can't let any stupid-ass director to remake a movie based on a... by a classic
06:25director with a classic cast.
06:27You simply can't.
06:28It goes against logic.
06:30Hollywood has lost its mind.
06:31For God's sake, enough with the fucking remakes and actually make something that's original
06:35for the audience and for us.
06:38We are tired of this nonsense.
06:41Anyway, that's all I pretty much have to say about this madness.
06:45This is YoungbloodFantasy91, and ladies and gentlemen, I'll see you next time.