Sausage Party: Foodtopia S01E06
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00:00You
00:30We interrupt what would have been the beginning of my six-part series on stickers to bring you this story
00:36Last night there was a high-speed hot potato pursuit where one spuds recklessness cost over
00:4280,000 teeth worth of damage to downtown food topia
00:45It also left three fruits bruised for cupcakes severely smushed one pineapple frondless
00:52We were able to obtain this footage from the chase
00:56Brenda Brenda you wonder respond. Do you not know that your pursuit is futile or do you refuse to surrender?
01:10We caught up with the victim of the recent to theft Julius seen here leaving his luxurious but tasteful pencrafts
01:19All right, I only have time for one question yes you the soda bottle
01:22what do you have to say to the potato who stole your teeth and
01:25Who's your town crush when I find that potato I'm gonna put it back in the fucking ground and for town crush
01:31Let's go with Wendy the pickle
01:39The task force response has been swift they've been rounding up russets all morning and one officer even struck gold
01:47Sorry struck a Yukon gold point is it's a bad time to be a potato
01:54Oh
02:10Look look, I want to bring in the potato as much as you do
02:13But let's not lose sight of the fact that there's a human on the loose. I need bodies to help me scan the dark zone
02:20Chris Jessica
02:24To iced tea a sorry bear Julius is dangling a hefty reward to whoever brings in the potato
02:31I could really use those teeth for my girl hot cocoa. She got expensive taste
02:40Step forward take a line one potato
02:44Time to peel out motherfucker two potato
02:48Time to peel out motherfucker three potato time to peel out motherfucker four
02:55Time to peel out you cocksucking motherfucker
03:02None of these potatoes are right the one who stole the teeth wasn't as small as a fingerling
03:07But wasn't as big as a fully grown russet neither. It's almost like it was right in between those two sizes
03:13Yeah, it was more medium height almost like I don't know like a hot dog sized potato
03:25I
03:28Fucking knew it, baby
03:30Can you believe Brenda? It's like do you want to win this thing or not? I got us teeth. There's foods working for us now
03:36I got butter jam and mayo spreading the word. That's a lot of condiments really exciting
03:42That's all this teeth. She is living in a fantasy world. Hey, Brenda
03:46I got an idea while you join us in the real world where an evil orange is ruining our food society
03:53She's always doing this even back in Shopwell's. She just had this
03:58Optimistic they think I get it breakups are hard. I got dumped once too
04:02I mean I get dumped once all the time actually once at the mall once at the movies once at my mom's funeral
04:09We just had a tiny fight. She didn't dump me. Yeah, sure
04:12That's what I'm always telling myself too
04:14And then you find your girlfriend in a mall doing one of those cool VR
04:18Experiences with another guy and then you'll find yourself getting pushed into a mall fountain by that guy
04:23And then you try to whip those little coins at the guy, but you just nail a bunch of other people
04:27It's just a bummer
04:29We used to be on the same page about everything. I
04:33Keep thinking about what she said, I don't believe in myself. That's why I'm using you as a crutch
04:38What's wrong with crutches?
04:39They take the pressure off plus without crutches my leg would have never healed after the mall fountain broke it in three places
04:46Look me in the eye
04:50Hey, don't doubt yourself
04:51I didn't want to say it before because I'm kind of scared of her but Brenda's off the rails
04:56You should be doing most of the talking at the debate, right?
04:59Yeah, the debate better go find her so we can prepare or or hear me out
05:03You can stay and I can help you prep debates are like arguments and I've gotten into tons
05:09Lost pretty much all of them and that means I know what not to do also means that I've looked at a lot of winners
05:14And I think I'm looking at one right now. Okay, I'm listening first thing your posture. It's all wobbly. Is that a bad thing?
05:22No, no, it's great makes you relatable not stiff or uptight a real every food
05:27I could be even wobbly or if you want I can kind of flip-flop around like this
05:31Well now you sound like a president
05:35I
05:37Look teeth have caused our society to decay fridge allocation should be based on who needs it the most
05:45Not who can afford it
05:50I
05:51Can't even clap. Oh, geez. Look at milk. Look at him
05:55Oh, he's hurtling for a curdling, but I I will make you whole again. I will make you whole milk
06:05I
06:06eavesdropped on the buns polemic
06:08pondering if one
06:10Shaking mass of risen least can really tear down a system without being buried and made moldy in its ruinous wake
06:18With each tiny vestigial wrist. She shook Brenda wondered. Did she really have the strength to carry the week?
06:26Can you stop following me around constantly and monologuing my own thoughts to me? Could you do that?
06:31They're our thoughts now Brenda
06:33I fear the lines between subject and documentarian are becoming blurred as we embark upon this journey
06:41Brenda, I'm Tina turn up the head of your ground roots operation
06:46I'm leading the five trooper Girl Scout cookies that are ready to go door-to-door for you
06:51Oh and as far as the payment of teeth that were promised
06:55Should we settle with you or with Frank not with me?
07:00Okay
07:14Brenda we need to talk. Where's Frank?
07:17Huh
07:27My opponent believes in the survival of the freshest, but I believe we can all survive by making the world a fresher place
07:36That's fucking beautiful Frank and that isn't just the bath salts talking either though
07:41They do make the world a more vibrant and colorful place
07:44You know, this week has arguably been the weirdest week of my life arguably, but it's turned into one of the most fulfilling ones, too
07:51I never really got to contribute anything to humanity mostly because nobody wanted my contribution. So I appreciate you letting me help
07:58Well, it's nice to feel supported and have someone actually believe in me. Oh, I
08:03Fully believe in you everything that you're building
08:07And maybe one day I could what you know be a part of it. Oh
08:14I know. I'm not technically a food, but maybe once your leader you could convince all the other foods to accept me
08:21Like you. Yeah, I mean feels like an uphill battle if I'm being honest with you
08:25But you know as long as you keep gobbling up your own kind instead of us
08:30Let's say you have a chance you me
08:32Feel weird calling you Hugh me still do you have a name do humans have names? It's Jack. Huh? I know a Jack
08:38He's a fruit. What's he look like? I think he's round
08:41Spiky is it the one that's purple on the inside? Honestly, I can't remember but you know what?
08:46It doesn't matter because from now on every time I think of Jack I'll think of you
08:55We should get back to it. Yeah. Yeah, we should get back to it
09:03Comfortable no good
09:06Very is this really necessary? I'll be asking the questions today starting with this
09:09Do you recognize the individual being represented in this picture? It's your dog Frank in potato head
09:15Which is of course despicable and somehow that's not even close to the worst thing. He's done
09:21But it's not just him. Is it Brenda?
09:24No
09:26As well make yourself comfortable because we're gonna be here a while here's how it's gonna go first
09:30I'm gonna break you down make you feel like you're nothing
09:33Then I'm gonna win your trust back piece by piece comfort you until you finally confess
09:40We took the human. I'm sorry. We never should have lied to you. Uh, you're our friend
09:44We just didn't think you'd understand. I don't I've never understood anything less
09:48Oh, see, we thought we needed his help, but you were right
09:51We're food and and we can handle food problems on our own by lying and committing high-speed to spice. That was all Frank
09:57He did it to boost our chances of winning which is the whole other problem. Our society is fucked
10:02Everything's about teeth. I
10:05Don't disagree with that. My entire task force is on the toothpick
10:08That's why I want to start over both as a bun and a society
10:12We lost our way and no one's more lost than our little Frank
10:17He's in deep Barry. He's fallen under the humie spell
10:26Let's go break it
10:32With my no chili left behind policy every single bean will have a place to lay their head at night
10:39I think someone just nabbed the highly coveted legume vote
10:44There's just one last topic. We haven't touched upon yet. How do you feel about humans? What?
10:50What they might ask right? I mean, you know, I
10:54Absolutely hate them. What do you hate about them?
10:57And remember be specific I hate their big ears that listen to my problems
11:03I hate their brown eyes
11:06That see things in myself
11:08I can't
11:11What else I hate how they make me feel smart
11:14Incapable. Come on. I hate their mouths. They're big wet hot circular mouths
11:22Jack what are we doing?
11:27Hmm
11:52Yeah
11:57Oh
12:14Okay, i'm ready let's go back it in yeah a little to the left little to the right that's good slide it up line it up
12:27Oh
12:31So how's this supposed to work
12:33Uh, I think we just have to list all the ways in which his addiction to the humie has hurt us
12:38And then he needs to stop completely or risk losing us forever. It's gonna be hard. I'm still really pissed at him
12:44Yeah, me too. Look we need to rise above that and let him know we're here for him. No matter what the fuck
12:50brenda
12:57So even if you did look it's not what you thought it was so you're not fucking that humie
13:01And he didn't just shoot a bunch of goo all over you. No, no, that's mayo. I swear say hi mayo
13:11Gross gross. Oh my god. Stop that. It's not scott. Mayo. You heal me fucker. Shit jack. Get us out of here. You got it, baby
13:19Hmm
13:26It wasn't even in his cockpit when they ran off who was piloting who there
13:46Oh god
13:49I cannot believe that just happened me too. That was crazy. Like I made love to a hot dog that
13:55Brenda and barry just caught me fucking you dude. This is so fucked. I'm running for fucking leader. I do not need this shit
14:03I do not need this frank. It's fine. Slow down
14:07Okay, look me in the eye
14:10Frank
14:11What are we doing?
14:13Stop it, dude. No
14:15I need to focus the debate. It's like right now. I'll tell you what's not up for debate fucking hot
14:20You are well, you fucking cut it out. How am I supposed to take the stage with brenda right now?
14:24She fucking hates me so much
14:26It's not ideal, but a lot of presidents have had sex scandals in some cases it makes them more popular any of them get caught
14:33Fucking a different species. That is also their sworn enemy species
14:37No, I mean, I guess that would be like a president getting caught fucking a bear or a shark or something
14:42But don't worry you got this
14:44Stay wobbly stay watch the fuck up man. This is a fucking disaster
14:49Sammy sells sesame seeds by the sesame seed store
14:53sammy
14:55I just got the latest scallop poll. Okay. Okay. What did she say that freaking brenda had pulled ahead?
15:01I stand to lose everything. Oh, well, that's a shame
15:05Which means you stand to lose everything?
15:08What jesus but I you know, I just got customed, you know to having everything
15:14But you know what you have to do pull out all the stops
15:18Anything you can do is host to make me look good and them look bad. I've come too fucking far to lose everything now
15:26I need you to bury them
15:31Welcome and good evening tonight. We crown futopia's next top leader
15:39Is
15:41The rules for tonight are simple i'm gonna ask hard
15:45Penetrating questions to each of the candidates and all you have to do is stand in front of the food that you want to vote
15:51For got it
15:52Okay, great. Now, please welcome your first candidate the orange jubilees
16:09Is
16:11Brenda hey, uh, okay. First. Let me just say about what you maybe think you don't fucking talk to me
16:16You hear me go godly traitor. I just think we need to talk considering we're about to take the stage together
16:25And his opponents frank and brenda
16:27Hey
16:34Hell sammy, why don't we get a cool intro? Hey, i'll ask the questions around here
16:37And the first one is a doozy frank and brenda
16:40A lot of foods have been referring to you and I quote as liars schemers cheaters
16:46Unlike julius who has been described as fair sweet ruben s sammy
16:51I don't know what bullshit this is, but I have an announcement to make I am no longer running for leader
16:56With frank
16:59I'm running on my own. Someone bring me a shot glass
17:07My ex running mate frank is a dirty dog. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a dirty
17:13Dirty dog and it has become very apparent that frank and I do not value the same things anymore
17:20most notably
17:21Frank no, no, no, please don't please don't tell them I think he wants to work within this system
17:27But I see a tooth gap that's widening every day
17:32He thinks the solution is to give teeth from rich foods to poor foods, but I say
17:38We get rid of teeth
17:40all together
17:46Brenda what are you doing? We should be sharing everything
17:52Okay, there will be time later on for wild unpopular rants, but let's get back to hey, uh, who owns that pot rod
18:00Oh, no, you don't
18:02Because it would also belong to that plum over there and and and then that box of rigatoni. Holy shit
18:06I would own a car. Yes. Yes, you'd own everything and nothing see
18:11Vote for me and together we will tear down the system
18:17Um
18:20What are you all still doing in frank's line get over here
18:25Gee
18:26Half of me wants to vote for frank and the other half of me wants to vote for brenda
18:30What do we do and split you're splitting our vote? And what did I tell you foods are scared of your radical bullshit?
18:35You're completely fucking us. Oh, oh you want to talk about fucking because I can talk about fucking. No, that's okay
18:40Why don't you just do what I said stick to these y'all want to hear something fucked up?
18:44Only the moderator is permitted to ask questions and
18:49Can you please go back to that fucked up thing you were about to say frank fucked a humie
19:00Witness witness not to take shame, but it was gross and I hated it and you should be ashamed what that is
19:07Uh preposterous, uh, it's a lie. Here's what's happening
19:11Uh brenda sees she's losing because of her shitty platform and now she's resorting to baseless
19:18insane
19:19Accusations which is easy to do watch this brenda
19:23Fuck the brick better to fuck a brick than bear hugging a humie's funny leg until it glazes you with its funny juice
19:34Where are you going come back, please come back. I'm not a humie fucker. I'm a food fucker. I'm serious
19:39I'll fuck every one of you just give me the chance and get that humie stank all over them. No way. Shut up right now
19:46Shut up, frank
19:50So you can throw your vote away on one of these two hot messes or vote for me julius baby jam, let's win it back
19:57Oh
20:06And on that note which I would call a high c the food has spoken and by an
20:12Overwhelming majority your new leader of foodtopia is everybody's favorite orange
20:18julius
20:22I'm here for you. Yes
20:25I am a food of the food for the wait for me
20:31Loss despair
20:33Tragedy a power couple falls apart at the seams and with this
20:38the very social fabric of foodtopia
20:41unspools
20:44Shut the fuck up vayner
20:54So
21:24So
21:54You
22:24You
22:54You
23:24You
23:54You