Loneliness is a gift || Acharya Prashant, at BITS Pilani, Goa (2022)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~  Video Information: 18.07.2022,  BITS Pilani, Goa   Context: What is aloneness? What is loneliness? How to be happy without depending on others? How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it? How to face challenges in life? How to get rid of loneliness? How to get rid of aloneness?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Pranam Acharyaji, I wanted to ask how do we deal with loneliness in the pursuit of a very

00:12personal goal? I have to paint a small picture for it. Let's say you're going through a struggle

00:17which no one knows about, no one appreciates it. But you're battling with it every single

00:22day, one hour at a time. And the funny thing is, is that you're winning, but there is no

00:28one with you to appreciate it. The brain starts to play games with you. It starts to convince

00:33you that you're losing, even though you're winning. It overpowers you when you're feeling

00:39low. So how do you deal with this crippling loneliness in the pursuit of a very personal

00:45goal? Loneliness, you know, is the best gift that life can offer you. Seriously. If you're

00:57not lonely, then the alternative is to be with something terrible. What would you prefer?

01:09Let's say you're traveling by bus or you're in a flight. The seat next to you is occupied

01:15by a hideous person. Is that better or is it better to have a vacant seat? Is it better

01:22to have a vacant seat? Please. I'm not saying that the seat remain vacant for the entire

01:29journey. But must you be in a hurry to very quickly fill that up? Must you be in a terrible

01:38rush? That's the thing. Most of us have such low tolerance for loneliness that we fill

01:47it up with crap. Either the wrong kind of job or beliefs or person or location or something.

02:01Loneliness I said is a gift because it gives you the opportunity and the freedom to go

02:08for the best. I'm lonely means I have the opportunity and that opportunity is available

02:17all life. Do you want to give it up? Please tell me. Why are you taking the loneliness

02:25as a curse? Remember, the alternative is far worse. People who are fed up of loneliness

02:42fall into all kinds of terrible places. But they usually don't display or acknowledge

02:53that. So you feel, oh, the ones whose hollows are filled up are luckier. No, they are not.

03:04You will find that being lonely is far, far better. And it's again, I repeat, I'm not

03:14advocating compulsorily loneliness. I'm just asking you to be careful. A vacant spot is

03:29a pure spot. No nonsense has filled it up. How do you want to be? Do you have single

03:40rooms or do you have double occupancy? Double occupancy. How do you like it better? A single

03:46room or a roomie who is quarrelsome, dimwitted, aggressive and neurotic? And now, to put things

04:04in perspective, what do you think about the bulk of the world's population? Are they wise

04:10people or neurotic? Neurotic. So now you know what I'm saying. Just going by probability,

04:19the odds are, the great chance is that if you have somebody as your, you know, roomie or partner

04:40or whatever, the fellow would show up as neurotic. What good that would be? Better to enjoy your

04:50loneliness that gives you a lot of opportunity. You can experiment, you can do this, you can do

04:55that. And when you can spot the right one, the right object, the right thought, the right book,

05:02the right person, you can bring it into your life, be with it, be nourished by it, be in loving

05:12company, uplifting company. And when the time comes to bid goodbye, gracefully say goodbye,

05:20you can't be with a book all your life. Can you be? Of course, you can return to the book. The

05:28goodbye need not be final. You can return to the book after six months or two years or whenever

05:33you need it. There has to be a way of life that's founded on freedom, not compulsiveness. As human

05:53beings and particularly as Indians, we are trained and steeped in compulsiveness. Things happen and

06:04then things get frozen in concrete. You're left with no freedom to fly and that's wastage of life.

06:16Even this problem that you are experiencing against loneliness might actually be a cultural

06:28problem. Coming from all the gossips that you hear in the family and in your peer group,

06:36all the movies that you watch, where it is shown that the ultimate purpose of life is to have a

06:44partner. What are 90% movies about? Man chasing woman. That's all. Maybe 90% is understated. More

06:55than that. So what are they teaching you with respect to loneliness? Fill it up, fill it up,

07:04and fill it up with a young person of the other gender. First of all, there must be no

07:15tearing hurry to fill it up. Secondly, it need not be filled up with a person. Even if you have

07:26to fill it up with a person, why does it have to be a person in flesh and blood? I'm not talking

07:35of ghosts. I'm talking of books. What are books? They represent the best that a great person has

07:47to offer. Let's say a great person lived for 70 years. There's so much that happened in his life.

07:54Some part of that would be great. Some part would be very ordinary. Now what does the book represent?

08:00The book is a selective collection of all that is great about a great person. Why don't you live

08:11with that book? It would uplift you. That's what would make life living. Why don't you make a great

08:19purpose as your companion? Why can't you live for a wonderful mission? Why can't that fill up

08:28your loneliness? I'm asking you please, why does it have to be a man, a woman or something like that?

08:37Why do you have to belong to a crowd? These are just questions. Let these stay with you.

08:50Is loneliness different than being alone? Are you talking about being alone?

08:55Red Krishnamurti, you are coming from there. Yes, obviously. But before I get into that academic discussion,

09:04what is loneliness, the mind is lonely, what is aloneness, the true self, the Atma is alone.

09:11People of your age, it's more important to practically explain that loneliness is not the curse.

09:19Our culture paints it to be. Loneliness might actually be a blessing if you keep your biases aside.

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