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00:00Demeter Chastises Persephone. By Captain Falcon Punch.
00:05Persephone was coming home. That was all that mattered. The months since her daughter was
00:10abducted to the underworld have felt like millennia. In her rage, she could easily have
00:16killed Hades, if she got her hands on him. Hades was immortal, but she could still cut him into
00:22pieces, like Kronos had done to all his children before his son Zeus defeated him. Maybe she would
00:28steal a leaf from Zeus's book and chain Hades to a cliff and let a hawk tear out his favorite organs
00:34every day. Prometheus had been suffering that fate until just recently when Hercules rescued him.
00:40In her anguish, Demeter had neglected to do her duties as goddess of plant life and the harvest.
00:46The result was famine for the Greek mortals, who got to share Demeter's misery.
00:51Demeter had told the other gods that she was so distraught over loss,
00:55she simply overlooked little things like the mortals. She had realized, though,
01:01with a conniving smile, that this famine would be an excellent way to get Zeus' attention.
01:06Zeus had been unwilling to cross his brother Hades, and even more hesitant to enrage his
01:11belligerent wife. Persephone was the child of an illegitimate relationship between Demeter and Zeus,
01:18and Hera always henpecked Zeus whenever he tried to help out his former lovers or bastard children.
01:24Once his mortal worshippers started dying of starvation, however, Zeus suddenly became more
01:29eager to help Demeter rescue her daughter. Zeus had sent a messenger, Aeschylus, to order Hades
01:36to release the girl he kidnapped, and Demeter could see him returning now, guiding Persephone
01:41out of the underworld. Demeter ran to her daughter, and when they embraced, flowers burst
01:47from the ground in full bloom, and a young willow tree sprang out of the ground, covered in white
01:52blossoms. Persephone returned the embrace warmly, but Demeter could sense that her daughter was
01:58tense. Surely, her traumatic experience in Hades could explain this, right?
02:04What's the matter, dear? Did that brute Hades hurt you?
02:08Actually, answered Persephone, who though over one hundred years old,
02:13was still a teenager among the gods, Mr. Hades was quite a gentleman.
02:18She blushed a bit as she remembered all the attentions Hades showed her,
02:22then quickly tried to say something to keep her mother from suspecting she had developed a crush
02:26on her kidnapper. Maybe he was a bit cold, and there's that little thing about tormenting mortal
02:32souls for all eternity, but he was always perfectly pleasant towards me. Demeter clicked
02:36her tongue in disapproval. Tsk, tsk, you just forget about that awful man. You'll never be
02:43seeing him again. Ascalaphus started coughing into his fist. Actually, mom. He interrupted in
02:50his dry voice. Don't shoot the messenger, but Persephone sort of ate four pomegranate seeds
02:56right before I picked her up. The thing about Greek gods is they had character flaws,
03:01and one of those flaws was they liked to shoot the messenger.
03:04Bam! Demeter turned Ascalaphus into an owl, and he fluttered away, hooting. And that's an
03:11end of his part in this tale. Persephone looked aghast. Mom? Why did you do that? He just told
03:19you the truth. For months, Demeter had gone between grieving over her loss and raging like
03:25a mother tiger whose cub was threatened. Some of that pent-up maternal instinct was flaring up
03:30right now. You ate food in the underworld. Do you have any idea what that means? Those who eat or
03:37drink in the underworld are never allowed to leave. Mom? It was just four pomegranate seeds,
03:44said Persephone, giving her mother one of those condescending you-don't-know-what-you're-talking-
03:49about looks. The last time Persephone saw her mom like this is when Orpheus was in concert and all
03:55the teenage goddesses were going. Persephone ended up sneaking out, and her mother erupted like
04:01Pompeii. Demeter's temper had caused the global ice caps to melt a bit. All the Greek mortals
04:07had been sure it was a man-caused disaster. Persephone decided to calm her mother down
04:12with some common-sense, Socratic logic. If that were true, I couldn't possibly be standing here,
04:18could I? Demeter, quickly growing impatient with her daughter's casual attitude towards this very
04:24serious situation, shot back. I don't know how you're standing here right now, but you never
04:30should have eaten anything that man offered you. Where is? Demeter looked around for the messenger,
04:36realized she had been too quick to transform him into an owl, and roared in rage. As she pulled
04:42out her cell phone, and dialed Zeus at Mount Olympus, the willow tree behind her started to
04:47smolder. It was a short conversation. Demeter could hear Hera throwing things at her husband
04:53at intervals. Zeus quickly explained that he had to strike a deal with his brother.
04:59Since Persephone ate food in the underworld, by law she should have been required to spend
05:04eternity there. However, since she ate four pomegranate seeds, he and Hades agreed that
05:10she could spend eight months of the year with her mother, but had to spend four months with
05:14Hades every year. Zeus quickly hung up before he had to deal with an enraged mother on the phone
05:20as well as his irate wife in person. The willow tree and every flower erupted in flame.
05:27As the ashes died down, Demeter put away her phone and glared at her daughter.
05:32You have to spend four months of the year, every year, in the underworld.
05:37Persephone seemed to recall Hades saying something like that before she left, but she
05:42didn't remember everything. She had been distracted by thinking about his manly voice and dignified
05:48black beard. Oh yeah, come to think of it. But I don't mind. It'll sort of be like summer camp,
05:55only during the whole winter. And don't you think I'll mind? Or can't you be bothered to
06:00stop and think about how your decisions affect anybody but you and your feelings?
06:05We're going to be separated for four months, every year, for eternity. I'll be with you for
06:10the other eight. That's twice the time I'll be spending with Mr. Hades. Persephone was hurt by
06:16her mother's reaction. Wasn't her mother just happy enough to see her, regardless of the
06:22circumstances? She wanted to retort by pointing out that if she and Hades got married, and have
06:28kids, two girls and one boy, Persephone had decided, how hard it was going to be to spend
06:34eight months of the year with her mother. But she thought it best to take it slow with the whole
06:38I have a crush on Hades thing, since her mother was probably a bit peeved at him still.
06:44That's not the point, young lady. I don't think you're understanding the problem here.
06:49I just endured the four worst months of my life. They were torment. They were torture. I felt like
06:56I would rather be immortal and die, so that I could at least join you in the underworld.
07:01Just as I finish the most traumatic experience of my life, and think it's behind me forever,
07:06you're telling me that I get to go through it all over again. Forever. How can you have such an
07:12ambivalent attitude? How could you let that rat trick you so easily? You were minutes away from
07:18escaping him forever. Don't tell me you couldn't wait that long to satisfy your appetite.
07:24Now, it was Persephone's turn to be irate. Adults spent so much time talking about not having a tone
07:31in your voice, no matter what you said. Well, Demeter was using a tone of voice that made
07:36Persephone feel terrible. Persephone wasn't a terribly selfish girl, no more so than most teenage
07:43goddesses, and really, could you blame a teenage goddess for thinking she was the sinner of the
07:48universe? Persephone genuinely felt sorry for her mother and had an idea of how painful an experience
07:55it must have been. She'd missed her mother too. But, hey, fact was fact. They couldn't change
08:02things now. And Persephone had been tortuously hungry. How was she to know she was almost free?
08:09Couldn't her mother at least look on the bright side of things? Persephone was now queen of the
08:14underworld. Before, she hadn't been queen of anything, which is hard for a teenage goddess.
08:21All the other students at Olympus High would poke fun at her for not being in charge of anything,
08:26calling her names like Phosphorus, and Phony Purse, and Cupid never helped her land any of
08:31the cute boys she liked. Now, Persephone had a position, a queen. She was in a serious relationship
08:39with one of the big three, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. All of this was going through Persephone's
08:45mind, and who could blame her if she didn't think, and reacted harshly to her mother's criticism?
08:51Maybe I'll go back there right now and eat the rest of the pomegranate, since you seem to think
08:56I'm such an idiot. The flames gave one last roar, and then died down, as Demeter tried to control
09:02herself. Persephone, I don't think you're an idiot. I never said you were. I need you to promise me,
09:09right now, that you will never think of carrying out that childish threat. Persephone wasn't as
09:15quick to control her temper as her mother, and she sensed that she had pushed a button.
09:20How is it childish? Maybe I like Hades. Maybe I want to be his queen and have kids.
09:27Maybe you just need to deal with the fact that I'm growing up and eventually,
09:30I'll have to leave the nest. I'm old enough to make some of these decisions for myself,
09:35she declared proudly. Then she had a flashback. The last time she had said that was when her
09:41mother caught her returning from Orpheus concert, and at that time. No way. Her mother wouldn't do
09:48that. Would she? It was raining a bit, because of her mother's sadness. The tree life and foliage
09:55had grown back again. Not quite as fast as it had earlier, but still at a miraculous speed.
10:02There weren't any flames. Her mother wasn't mad at her. Persephone sighed in relief. She was safe.
10:10In actuality, Demeter was controlling her temper. It was her rule to never punish a child in anger,
10:16unlike that dreadful Aphrodite who had her son Cupid whipped mercilessly.
10:20The willow tree which had sprung up again aged, until it was fully grown.
10:25Last chance, baby. Promise me you'll never carry out that threat.
10:30Persephone didn't know what to say. She saw where this was going, but was too scared to think
10:36straight. She certainly did not want to be punished like a little girl only 100 years old.
10:42But she was also felt guilty over the mean things she had said. She just stood in silence.
10:48Holding her daughter's hands in hers, lovingly, Demeter sat down, her back resting against the
10:54old tree, and guided her daughter across her lap. A branch of the willow tree bent down and
11:00offered her a long, tough willow switch, perfect for her intent. She snapped it off, and in one
11:07motion, lifted her daughter's black toga up to her back and flicked the switch across her
11:11daughter's radiant backside. For human children, a spanking may only last a minute or two, but for
11:18gods, it typically took days. Demeter applied the switch for about two hours, and by the end,
11:24her daughter's bottom was only slightly pink. Baby, you said some things which hurt me.
11:30Even if you don't say you're sorry, I want you to know you're forgiven for those things.
11:35I'm also sorry for losing my temper and saying things which hurt your feelings.
11:40But I am not a bit sorry I spanked you. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?
11:46I'm so sorry I was disrespectful, Mom, cried Persephone. And I'm sorry I threatened that I'd.
11:52I hated being away from you, and I'd never cut myself away from seeing you.
11:57I won't eat anything more in the underworld. You have my word.
12:02I trust you, Persephone, said her mother. Mom, are we done already?
12:07Have you learned your lesson? I think so, but I still feel terribly guilty.
12:13I just wanted you to give me your word. A little encouragement is all you needed. If you feel
12:19guilty about those disrespectful things you said, I can discipline you for each of those,
12:24or we can end it here. Tell me, Persephone, have you been punished enough?
12:29Persephone bit her lip. If she was honest with herself, Persephone knew her mother was letting
12:35her off easy. She hated being spanked, and she knew one word from her could end this.
12:41But she also knew that the only way to earn her mother's trust and respect was to be honest.
12:47No, Mom. I think I've earned a spanking to remember.
12:50Though it pained her to punish her daughter, Demeter smiled with pride.
12:54I couldn't agree more, she said with a sigh. With that, she began to apply the
13:00switch with increased vigor. After landing 10 crisp strokes, Demeter began to lecture
13:06her daughter and punish her for each of her individual offenses.
13:10This is for leaving your chaperones and going off by yourself into the woods.
13:15I've explicitly told you not to do that in the past, but you deliberately disobeyed me.
13:22And that allowed you to be captured. Demeter added another 50 stinging
13:26blows to drive that first point home, for a goddess, though, that was more like getting
13:31five swats. And this
13:34is for accepting food from him.
13:39You should have known better than to give in to the man who abducted you.
13:43Demeter delivered 100 smarting spanks with a willow branch, which had grown to the size of
13:48a small cane in her hand, and was sprouting leaves. Only now was Persephone beginning to
13:53show her discomfort by squirming and squeaking as she felt each tingling smack across her divine
13:58behind. This, Persephone, is for giving me that arrogant look just after we were reunited
14:04and for speaking to me in that presumptive tone of voice.
14:07Demeter paused a moment, the switch held high. For this one, she would have to see a few tears
14:14to know that Persephone was regretting her attitude. The willow branch thickened and
14:18aged in her hand, until it was the size of a sapling tree and as weighty as a walking stick.
14:24Persephone was growing curious about the delay and peeped over her shoulder. She wished she hadn't.
14:31The sound of the wood raining down on her glowing pink bum was louder now,
14:35but not as loud as her cries. After only 50 wallops, the first tears came, each one dripping
14:42down Persephone's cheek and bringing a flower to bloom where they landed. Demeter raised an
14:47eyebrow, noting her progress. The cane snapped after 150 wicked strokes. Demeter examined the
14:54broken branch, not quite snapped in two, amused. Perfect timing, she thought. She didn't have the
15:02heart to use such a large branch anymore, and it had lasted the exact number of strokes needed.
15:08However, she had promised Persephone to chastise her for each of her transgressions.
15:13Persephone felt guilty, and Demeter knew her daughter was expecting the full punishment.
15:18Demeter felt her resolve weakening a bit. Remembering Persephone's smart-alecky Socratic
15:24argument, Demeter steeled her voice and said, This is for doubting me when I told you that you
15:29shouldn't have eaten the food of the underworld, and talking back. Demeter raised her godly hand
15:35and this time delivered a hand spanking to her daughter's deep pink posterior. After 50 swats,
15:41Demeter felt her own palm stinging and the guilt held her back. Was this what her daughter
15:46was enduring? Breathing hard, Persephone looked over her shoulder and said wickedly,
15:52What's the matter, mom? Is that all you got? Demeter's breast filled with mixed emotions,
15:58while she was annoyed with her daughter's flippancy, she was proud of Persephone's
16:02determination and strength. None too subtly, Persephone was telling her mother not to hold
16:08back. You are being disciplined, little lady. You ought to conduct yourself accordingly.
16:14Yours should be a state of contrition and penitence, not hubris. These next swats are
16:19just for your cheekiness during your chastisement. After this, we will return to your regular
16:25punishment. Demeter rained down 100 sizzling spanks with her godly strength, causing the
16:31willow tree to sway from the force. Demeter raised her hand and the willow tree provided
16:36her with a whole bundle of birch switches, thorny and menacing. A vine shot out of the
16:41ground and knotted itself around the bundle, creating a perfect handle. Demeter snatched
16:47it and held down her daughter. It was time to finish this. This is for threatening to eat the
16:57rest of the pomegranate in the underworld.
17:07She punctuated her admonishment with 300 exclamation points. One switch all by itself
17:13had been enough to bring the daughter to tears. The combined force of 30 nasty switches would
17:19leave welts on even a goddess's bottom that would not fade for weeks. Persephone wailed
17:24the whole time she was wailed. She didn't feel guilty anymore. Okay, mom, you can stop.
17:31It was lucky her mother was holding her down with all her godlike strength,
17:35because the girl was kicking and flailing by the time the uninterrupted wave of pain ended.
17:40Persephone tried unsuccessfully to catch her breath, then gasped.
17:45Sniff. Mom, have I been punished enough? I. Hick, it hurts. My ba. My ba my bottom hurts so much.
17:56Wa. Ah ha ha ha. Demeter tried to catch her own breath. The sun was setting. They'd been at this
18:04for around six hours. But her daughter was old and strong-willed. This had still been nothing
18:10compared to a typical spanking for a young goddess. Persephone, don't you remember? You
18:16still made one other defiant retort. When you defended your poor decision by saying you were
18:21old enough to decide for yourself? Well, you may be getting older, but it does not logically follow
18:27that your decisions will be wise or right because you are older. Demeter could cite Socrates too if
18:33needed. You are 140 years old, but I will still not hesitate to take you over my knee if you make
18:39decisions that put yourself in peril. You are already a remarkably intelligent and resolute
18:45young goddess. And I have faith that you'll be capable of making wise decisions when you've
18:50fully matured. And that's because you'll always remember that bad decisions will bring you pain.
18:56Pain much worse than any you'd ever be able to feel from a spanking. Mom, I sniff. I don't think
19:02I can take any more. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know, baby, but there's no point to a spanking
19:09if you're the one who gets to decide when it ends. Persephone's lip trembled, and the tears spilled
19:15anew from her wide, doe eyes. Her sentence had been pronounced, and Persephone, doomed to be
19:21spanked from dusk until the breaking of dawn, demurely submitted to her doom. Demeter cleaned
19:27off a few snapped twigs. Pointlessly, she patted her daughter's dark pink bottom to prepare her for
19:34the final ordeal. I love you, Mom, shouted Persephone, and began whimpering. I'm sorry.
19:41I'm sorry. Once again, Demeter was taken aback by her daughter's will. Persephone heard her
19:47mother's voice say reassuringly, I love you too, baby. When she felt the first smack, Persephone
19:54shouted, I'm sorry, instead of crying. This continued for a couple of hours, her volume
20:00building until she was screeching, I am sorry. By three o'clock in the morning, Persephone's voice
20:06cracked and she went quiet. Too tired and physically drained to buck and squirm, she lay
20:12peacefully across her mother's lap. At four o'clock in the morning, Demeter saw that her daughter had
20:18actually fallen asleep on her lap, still fitfully twitching and reacting to her punishment which
20:23surely filled her dreams. Demeter spanked her snoozing daughter until six o'clock in the
20:28morning. Dawn broke, the birds sang, and Persephone's eyes may have flickered a bit before
20:33she dozed off again. With that, Demeter stopped the spanking. She realized the bundle she had been
20:40using for the birching must have broken apart during the night and she had gone to using her
20:45hand again without missing a beat. For the first time, she felt all the pain in her throbbing hand.
20:51Persephone slept soundly on top of her mother's lap. For a short time she rocked back and forth,
20:57moaning, clearly reacting to an imaginary spanking in her dreams. Then it stopped and she snoozed
21:04peacefully. By ten o'clock, Demeter decided her daughter was being too much of a sleepy head,
21:10and promptly woke her up with thirty brisk slaps. Still groggy, Persephone barely registered this
21:16wake-up call, but when her mother paused and added an extra twenty with extra strength,
21:21Persephone yelped and scrambled off her mother's lap. Owie, she growled rubbing her butt furiously.
21:27Demeter stood up to give her daughter a hug, but the girl beat her mother to the punch,
21:32surprising the old goddess by jumping onto her shoulders. With her divine strength,
21:37Demeter managed to keep from falling on her own butt, and carried her remarkably cheerful daughter
21:42back home. Now, you've all heard how during the four months of winter, Demeter is miserable and
21:48lonely. But spring comes every year when Demeter and Persephone are reunited. Now you also know
21:55why it rains all through April, and flowers bloom in May. Demeter still has to take her daughter
22:01over her knee from time to time, and it may last days, or weeks, or months, but their tears provide
22:08rain. Then, the spanking is over and they hug, and the flowers bloom. Then, the whole summer is
22:15blistering hot, and some might say that during the summer months, the sun in the sky is not actually
22:21Apollo. Actually, it's Persephone's well-spanked, red-hot bottom on display for the whole world to
22:27see. The end. Thanks to Captain Falcon Punch for the story, and thank you for listening.